1 | Budget for Writing Funding 2023 Application SPEWS | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
2 | ||||||
3 | Category | Description | Lower | Median | Upper | Best Guess |
4 | Office | SPEWS Headquarters in the Bahamas (with swim-up bar, gold-plated fixtures, and diamond-studded chairs) | $50,000 | $5,000,000 | $25,000,000 | $20,000,000 |
5 | Travel | First-class flights for co-founders to attend luxury conferences and pitch SPEWS to grantmakers | $200,000 | $1,000,000 | $10,000,000 | $5,000,000 |
6 | Donations | Generous donations to grantmakers families to ensure SPEWS final funding application is approved | $10,000 | $500,000 | $1,000,000 | $750,000 |
7 | Fraud | Money spent to cover up any suspicious accounting practices or fraudulent behaviour | $50,000 | $1,000,000 | $5,000,000 | $3,000,000 |
8 | Advocacy | High school outreach program to promote the importance of portrait welfare and good vibes towards SPEWS | $100,000 | $500,000 | $1,000,000 | $750,000 |
9 | PR | Aggressive PR campaign to attack the existence of other pressing problems like malaria, AI, biological risks, and animal suffering | $500,000 | $5,000,000 | $50,000,000 | $30,000,000 |
10 | Operational Expenses | Personal trainers for the life coaches of the personal assistants of the co-founders and other sundries | $100,000 | $500,000 | $2,000,000 | $1,500,000 |
11 | Unpaid Interns | $0 spent for 100 unpaid interns (who will receive a signed certificate of appreciation in lieu) | $0 | $0 | $0 | $0 |
12 | Work Trials | $0 spent on 80 research applicants conducting work trials as part of their application Co-founder time spent on reviewing the work trials | $10,000 | $50,000 | $2,000,000 | $1,700,000 |
13 | Food | Huel, or maybe Queal | $100,000 | $200,000 | $500,000 | $450,000 |
14 | TOTAL | Say, $1m? | $5m (jks) | Gotta be about $70m | A bit less than $70m seems unobjectionable | |