Pat's 「Crazy Talk」 Compendium

Dark Souls 1 Edition

"I came up with an idea: I would like everyone to band together, maybe google doc, and I want a catalog of everything I say that is wrong." - Pat, SBFC 178: Herpes Just Means Playing on a Different Server (feat Super BunnyHop)

Repeated Wrong Statments:

Timestamp

Repeat Reference

Pyromancers start with 12 attunement, for 2 spell slots. However, some spells require 2 slots, making 12 attunement just enough for "one spell", making this a Mostly Wrong, not Completely Wrong

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/pyromancer

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/attunement

Pyromancy damage doesn't scale with stats, but it is scaled by the level of the Pyromancy Flame, and casting speed scales with Dexterity. He later partially corrects himself at 18:25 of part 8, then completely corrects himself at 29:15 of part 8.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/pyromancy-flames

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/dexterity

Pyromancies cannot be cast with talismans in Dark Souls 1. He's thinking of a pyromancy flame.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/pyromancies

(Barehanded parry) "So that's the BEST parry. That ever was. In anything. The shield has the same animation. It's the same speed."

Depends on definition of "best". Buckler, Target Shield, and Parrying Dagger have more active parry frames but also have a longer recovery animation. Adding "in anything" implies it's the best even outside the scope of Dark Souls, when that's obviously not the case. Pat later described this way of speaking as a "verbal crutch" in SBFC 181.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/parry

It depends on the axe. The Hand Axe that Pyromancer starts with does not stagger on miss, while the Bandit's Battle Axe does.

Confirmed in-game

The pottery in the Asylum Demon room resemble a pithos more than a barrel. While technically debatable (barrel is defined as "hollow cylindrical container"), it's unusual for a modern day person to call ceramic pottery a barrel.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pithos

https://www.google.com/#q=define+barrel

Snuggly, while being familiar, is not the same entity as Sparkly or the others, making this technically false. However, expy characters (and the nebulousness of the definition of "friend") makes this debatable.

An exaggeration. While you can see other parts of the world from Firelink Shrine, you can't see "most" of it.

http://illusorywall.tumblr.com/post/132589360859/dark-souls-1-distant-views-explained-part-1

"You kindle [Firelink Shrine's] bonfire, it goes up to, uh, 15 estus. Regular bonfires however only give you 5, and if you kindle them, they go up to 10."

You cannot kindle a bonfire to 15 estus until you have the Rite of Kindling. Pat adds in 1:46 of part 7: "You can kindle it up to 15 and 20 eventually."

Confirmed in-game

While Woolie had zero soft humanity, he had four hard humanities in his inventory for use.

(On motion control gestures) "You can't. It is not in this game, because it is a multiplatform version, therefore there is no motion controls on the thing."

The PS3 version of Dark Souls 1 allowed motion controls for gestures.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/gestures

http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/606312-dark-souls/61633428

Confirmed in-game

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/blood-stains

http://demonssouls.wikidot.com/consumables

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/zweihander

(Bottomless box) Woolie: "Is there anything like that?" Pat: "No, you're just going to have [items] on you."

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/bottomless-box

You can get more estus when other players kindle the bonfire you've last rested at. You can also get more by succesfully killing a boss as a summoned phantom.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/estus-flask

"It goes 6, 7, 8, 9 for [Large Titanite Shards], then it goes 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 for [Titanite Chunks]"

You upgrade to +10 using Large Titanite Shards, not Titanite Chunks.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/normal

Aqueducts are not sewers, although they are related. The aqueduct they were going through is a small distance away from the Depths, Lordran's actual sewers.

"Once you bought all weapons and items from him that are unique... you should kill him... once you get [Repair Box and Bottomless Box], everything else is generic.

The Undead Merchant is the only way to buy the Chain Mail set (though you can get a random piece from the non-respawning Chained Prisoner)

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/chain-set

"The mechanic that was added eventually in which merchants only sell limited items is not here. The only version of that is if they're selling like a slab, or what have you."

A few merchants sell limited quantities of generic items, such as humanity, gold pine resin, and purging stones.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/merchants

"Since the bonfire won't give you any more estus than what you have right now, no real good reason [to rest there]."

While it wouldn't give Woolie more estus, it would set his checkpoint there when he dies. Woolie dies 9 minutes later, respawns at Firelink, and he had to trek all the way back to Undead Burg.

"Sometimes... you just get humanity from enemies. It has a threshold that is exponential so it's like, X amount of souls gives you one, then X times whatever-- like 1.2 times that gives you two."

Humanity gain from slaying enemies in an area with an undefeated boss is not based on soul amount, but amount and type of enemies slain. The amount to kill to get the next humanity is also not exponential.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/humanity-farming#toc6

While it's risky, parrying is one of the more reliable ways to kill a black knight early on. Granted, he implies that's above Woolie's skill level at the time.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/black-knight#toc11

"Blighttown is this nightmare. Not just because it's really tough and strong, but because when you're down there, you can't leave. The only way to leave is to go forward."

You can always leave Blighttown if you can find your way back. They discuss as much at 0:40 of part 22.

While Woolie lost the humanity, he can simply get it back from the bloodstain. In fact, he does so four minutes later.

Monster Hunter is nothing but Dark Souls boss fights once you're in the groove, but early on there's gathering/fishing/egg delivery/small monster hunts as well.

Firsthand Experience

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Souls

Firsthand Experience

"[Chaos Weapons] just break the game because people just eventually farm up 99 humanity... then the scaling goes off the chart."

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/chaos

You lose humanity on death, but you can still get it back from the bloodstain. Humanity used to reverse hollowing is lost, however.

An exaggeration. In episode 5 at 12:18 Pat concedes he's probably overshooting it.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/hellkite-dragon#toc13

Woolie does not have the minimum stats to use the Uchigatana "immediately".

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/uchigatana

There are a few niche builds that do not, or cannot, benefit as much from endurance (Soul level 1 run, Bow-Only run)

Firsthand Experience (I've done both)

"I think [Taurus Demon] actually takes a little more damage from like cutting weapons, like uh, the hatchet or whatever.

There is no known evidence that Taurus Demon takes more damage from slashing damage.

"Even Taurus, or uh, who is just a minotaur, the-- the fucking most staple enemy ever of a-- of a fantasy thing."

While Minotaurs are common in foklore, they tend to be solitary and I doubt they are the "most staple" enemy. Undead, goblins, orcs, and such are far more common enemy types.

So far Woolie's died in the graveyard, twice in New Londo and once to the Black Knight.

Woolie: "Let me look at my dex-required weapons. Uchi, is that the only thing I'm holding that's a dex?" Pat: "Uh, you have uh, you have uchi, you have your partizan, and you have your halberd. But obvious-obviously, the best one out of those, is your partizan and your uchi."

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/undead-merchant-male

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/shiva-of-the-east

The Firelink Firekeeper plays a bigger role in the game than just upgrading estus.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/anastacia-of-astora

You can fire a bow in the left hand in Dark Souls 1. Pat later recommends putting a bow in Woolington's left hand at 16:38 of part 13.

Confirmed in-game

An exaggeration. Woolie spent 40 arrows to get the Drake Sword, which most likely did not (but possibly could) take a half hour.

Confirmed in-game

Pat failed to account for scaling damage. For Woolington at this moment in time, the Morning Star deals 103 damage (83 base, +20 scaling)

"The Drake Sword is great because it doesn't scale. Because you don't need any stats for it."

While it doesn't scale, it still requires minimum stats to wield properly.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/drake-sword

There are a few niche builds that do not, or cannot, benefit as much from endurance (Soul level 1 run, Bow-Only run)

Firsthand Experience (I've done both)

"I don't remember what stats even govern pyromancy in this, and I wanna say it's nothing."

Pyromancy damage is scaled by the level of the Pyromancy Flame, and casting speed scales with Dexterity. He later partially corrects himself at 18:25 of part 8, then completely corrects himself at 29:15 of part 8.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/pyromancy-flames

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/dexterity

"Your backstab animation is even very similar to the Bloodborne one; you're shoving your whole arm up to the shoulder into the boar."

The backstab animation for the boar is the exact same as the normal backstab animation. No part of the arm penetrates the boar.

Confirmed in-game

Confirmed in-game

While it's unclear what the rest of the pyromancer set is made of, the Heavy Boots description clearly states it's made of leather.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/pyromancer-set

Woolington would be level 35 at 40 endurance, though he'd be correct if Woolie put two levels in other stats along the way.

You lose humanity on death, but you can still get it back from the bloodstain. Humanity used to reverse hollowing is lost, however.

"[Balder Knights] also have a special parry stance, in which if you hit them at any time, they will riposte you."

You can hit a Balder Knight in parry stance without getting riposted by using jumping attacks, spells, consumables, etc.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/balder-knight

You can get the tail from a gargoyle later in the game, or in new game+.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/gargoyle-tail-axe

Most weapons in the game are viable, even if they aren't S-tier. It also has its own niche use with the debuff resistances.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/gargoyle-tail-axe

The tail comes back if you retry the fight, as Pat sees 9 minutes later.

https://youtu.be/GNAH1TKauMo?list=PL57hJfweW_2uL_727R56gbf92wTKmwmxt&t=1537

You can remain on the building after retrieving the key, as Pat sees 2 minutes later.

https://youtu.be/GNAH1TKauMo?list=PL57hJfweW_2uL_727R56gbf92wTKmwmxt&t=1248

Woolie: "Is there anything that the birds are gonna give me?" Pat: "Uh, not right now, but I'm not super familiar with the DS1 birds."

Woolie had rubbish, humanity, twin humanity, cracked red eye orb, and (albeit inadvisable) a pyromancy flame that he could trade with Snuggly.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/hawk-girl

Pat has made correct statements, and thus is wrong about being always wrong.

"You could block it if you had a real good fire shield, but I don't think there are any in the game at this point."

By this point in the game you can have a Black Knight Shield (95% fire block) or a Dragon Crest Shield (85% fire block), though admittedly BKS is a rare drop and DCS is out of the way. The Heater Shield blocks 70%.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/shields

Depends on definition of "best". Pat later described this way of speaking as a "verbal crutch" in SBFC 181.

Woolington is standing on the church. What Pat was looking at was the tower of a random building attached to the portcullis behind the armored boar.

Confirmed in-game

Woolie proceeded to watch as an undead soldier went into the building a few seconds later.

https://youtu.be/VCc1qvrQJk4?list=PL57hJfweW_2uL_727R56gbf92wTKmwmxt&t=880

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/zweihander

Woolie can use regular humanities or farm soft humanities in another area.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/twin-humanities

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/humanity-farming#toc6

Confirmed in-game

"Hyper Armor" is how poise in Dark Souls 3 works, as in it affects attack animations but not idle/running animations. Dark Souls 1 poise is more akin to "hitstun resistance" that affects your character during all animations. There's a difference.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/poise

http://darksouls3.wikidot.com/combat-game-mechanics#toc2

"It's a spear that also has slashing attacks. Solid spear, and it also has a swing that is slashing. Solid spear, and slashing."

Right in the sense that the Partizan's R2s make a slashing motion, but wrong in the sense that those attacks deal Regular-type damage, not Slashing-type damage.

http://darksouls.wikia.com/wiki/Regular_(damage_type)

"The other games don't have any incredibly strong non-scaling weapon at the beginning of the game as the Drake Sword."

Dark Souls 3 had the Astora Straight Sword, gotten in the High Wall of Lothric. It was very useful when you infuse it with a Raw Gem (from the same zone), for an incredibly strong non-scaling weapon at the beginning of the game. Demon's Souls had the Crescent Falchion +1 you could pick up early in the game in 4-1.

http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Astora+Straight+Sword

Woolington could hit hiding Demonic Foliage with a jumping attack, bow and arrow, or fireballs.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/demonic-foliage

"Nope, he's got the two [attacks]. He's got those two. And that's pretty much all he's got."

The Moonlight Butterfly has 5 attacks: The fast two-wave spears, the slow homing projectiles, the large beam, the explosion after it rests, and below 50% it drops an exploding orb when it flies over the bridge.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/moonlight-butterfly

"They're not, like, projected underneath their own force like, uh, Soul Arrows, where they go infinitely."

Soul Arrows have limited range and stop after a set distance travelled.

Firsthand Experience

"I would say, like, a good portion of the bosses in this game have NPCs that will help you."

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/bosses

(Moonlight Butterfly Beam) Pat: "And that's his last attack." Woolie: "So they're three of them, is there?" Pat: "Yep."

The Moonlight Butterfly has 5 attacks: The fast two-wave spears, the slow homing projectiles, the large beam, the explosion after it rests, and below 50% it drops an exploding orb when it flies over the bridge.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/moonlight-butterfly

The Moonlight can fly in place, fly over the bridge, and rest at the bridge, all of which do not involve moving left or right.

Firsthand Experience

"And you're also doing it from far away because it's difficult to gauge how far away the butterfly actually is from you."

Keeping proper perspective of distance from the Moonlight Butterfly is subjective.

"There is a shield you do have access to, it's not on your person, but you do have the ability to go and get it, uh, that has like 70% magic resist."

Pat's most likely talking about the Crest Shield, which has 80% magic resist.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/crest-shield

In less than the amount of time it would take to gather enough souls and buy the Crest of Artorias, Woolington can run past the lake in Darkroot Basin, climb the ladder, and reach the rest of Darkroot Garden.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/darkroot-garden#toc5

Reinforcing costs 200 souls. If you include the price of titanite shards (800 souls each), it'll be considered 1000+ souls per upgrade.

He's missing demon titanite, dragon scales, and twinkling titanite. "Black" is normally referred to as just regular "titanite."

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/materials

Green titanite feeds into the red, white, and blue titanite upgrade paths. Pat mentions as such much later, at 8:00 of part 45.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/local--files/upgrade/upgrade-chart.jpg

1 humanity gives 50 item discovery, the second gives 8, the third 7, and so on with increasing diminishing returns until you reach the maximum item discovery at 10 humanity.

http://darksouls.wikidot.com/humanity#toc8