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DateLikesRetweetsRepliesQuotesTweet
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09/30/2020, 2:12:4817664928479441699Pr*ud B*ys, stand back and stand by is among the most horrifying things that could have been said tonight or any night on television
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11/21/2019, 0:53:57938285619135201three 29 yr olds with their 30 yr old friend https://t.co/QBj3UIMAPj
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06/15/2020, 19:12:14683757506312533NOBODY: ME: The Little Mermaid is about contract law
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07/18/2022, 20:46:343225225158282buca di beppo, and free my soul i want to get lots in my pasta bowl
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09/08/2022, 20:24:4329977310249182scream laughed https://t.co/ixGXR8y83F
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07/08/2020, 13:21:27289385550558621I had a mild case of COVID a few months ago, and I just wanted to join the chorus of people sharing that my resting heart rate averaged in the low 80s pre-COVID and now it sort of hovers at just above 100 bpm. sometimes i'll wake up in the middle of the night with 110 or 120.
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08/19/2019, 20:55:3626394319452160i may never recover from this https://t.co/4mGLRCvTlu
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06/23/2020, 18:25:04231481841104109despite wanting to eat healthier, i've been sent french fries yet again due to ordering them
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02/21/2020, 23:28:51209661063265254I don’t understand why airports don’t have small movie theaters. Layovers would fly by!
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11/30/2021, 17:08:102093111662556Just overheard a man on the phone say “I never liked him, you’ve heard me say it, but he does happen to have a family, and it does happen to be us” and I want him to know that i too take the scenic route while communicating
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09/17/2019, 18:21:571709914955684Millennials don’t get enough credit for killing licorice
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02/17/2020, 21:49:42149471669194220Just learnt of people who eat Oreos and mustard... there are places on this earth that God’s light simply cannot reach
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05/04/2021, 16:20:251371274120105we all pretend Mondays suck but really Sunday nights and Tuesdays suck and Monday is fine, even underrated
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03/04/2020, 4:08:461356212245356Shaken by the sudden epiphany that Klobuchar is Warren’s Wario
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10/19/2020, 20:07:21116147183584not since jay gatsby has a man been so undone by a green light
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12/21/2019, 4:20:39107868862719LOL https://t.co/bsSChUWXxW
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05/12/2020, 22:02:55106987692143sure, i've gained weight this pandemic, but you know what i've lost? friends.
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03/17/2022, 17:44:581054669769@revrrlewis one game of Civ VI and you think you're an expert????
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12/28/2019, 19:05:2694944091114Dear Hinge, if someone responds with “hahahaha” it is NOT my turn again it is still theirs!!!!!!
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12/18/2019, 23:38:23921310486645I hate taking photos of ppl on trains but...... I needed to take this photo or nobody would believe me https://t.co/qKUmRoSXtk
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11/22/2021, 22:00:3389838222333tharrrr sheeeeee blows..... thar she blows again
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04/23/2019, 0:23:0384205441212oh my god I want Elizabeth Warren to be president of this stupid country
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12/08/2021, 20:01:1883404687848you know what we havent had in a while? a new style of potato
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09/03/2019, 13:16:24803414811550Lana Del Rey accepting the Grammy for Album of the Year is going to be the moment that brings us back to the right timeline.
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06/03/2020, 19:38:307907127477158Vile. Disgusting. Everyone associated with publishing this should lose their jobs. https://t.co/xA5RlH95YA
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02/05/2020, 14:00:5368245771978She is so nosey........... https://t.co/ofyKQZMcfp
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07/08/2020, 13:22:016305323514it's alarming and anxiety inducing, not life-altering per se. i'm fortunate in that respect. please please please keep wearing your masks.
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12/21/2019, 6:20:5557884022555The sh*wn m*ndes comment........ I’m going insane https://t.co/fqes7NLYlk
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04/25/2020, 21:27:5356292532315Blasting The Carpenters with the window open and I just heard a gay outside say “someone is going THROUGH it!!”
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07/25/2021, 13:22:5355062501713Hungover………….. and all because I had too much to drink?????
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02/18/2020, 2:35:3552561712714I was 21 and dating a 27 year old and his MEAN best friend told me “you do an incredible impression of an adult” https://t.co/8AEksImscZ
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02/19/2020, 3:33:57425664774remember when everyone was freaking out about Trump TV? Anyway, here’s this. https://t.co/frru1q0F3C
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03/24/2021, 18:44:01409620489me at 11: i take being a mod of this pokemon community very seriously me at 32: i take being a mod of this pokemon community very seriously
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02/19/2020, 0:31:443951983121I screamed “no!” https://t.co/Vdq7tebef9
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01/01/2019, 0:15:31394872495186Here is my extremely cursed content: L*n-Man*el M*randa doing the iconic Roxxxy verse from Read U Wrote U. Happy New Year! https://t.co/ZbzeJSzcY0
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04/01/2019, 2:23:42371123148Antoni saying “careful, we’re in America!” is one of the most bonechilling line deliveries of all time
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03/22/2019, 22:09:2536221762795Pete Buttigieg just finished speaking and Cut to the Feeling started playing. I might faint.
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02/11/2020, 3:33:1833716502220If you are a Democrat and you are seriously considering voting Bloomberg for president, then your objection to Trump is his boorishness, not his fascism. https://t.co/yejis4Iid3
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03/09/2020, 15:44:15317764876the y’all that begins this is killing me https://t.co/wWqo2Yldu6
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12/10/2018, 21:15:1429565671140turning looks stunting pretty diet mountain dew baby new york city https://t.co/AygGngJLyY
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03/07/2021, 6:41:36282312754my snatch game character https://t.co/u0cJ3lnArL
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02/04/2019, 16:21:4228115902425One of the fundamental problems with how we teach people about racism in this country is that we focus on words to avoid (like racial slurs) and actions to avoid (like wearing blackface), but never on the underlying principles behind why we avoid those things. For example: https://t.co/5bMBNGKYgT
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03/23/2022, 21:03:10280682133give her a Netflix show https://t.co/KC9pADC9ix
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11/20/2022, 13:31:0327149398Can’t explain it but the best 2 minutes of television a year is the GBBO epilogue where you find out if they are hanging out or not
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02/05/2020, 14:20:09263228699I want what these rats have. I want what these rats have!!!!! https://t.co/vSADSDpjOG
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08/12/2020, 23:22:2825733754327As a victim of sexual assault, hearing this story and working through my own feelings about it were extremely difficult. I hope this is the final nail in its coffin. Fuck this puritanical, homophobic witch hunt. https://t.co/UkGa0knQyl
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03/09/2020, 17:14:24238831919352Is there good news... at all? Is anything good happening to anyone?
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07/12/2021, 15:46:3323522519236So, I've had COVID before (a really bad case!), got two doses of the Pfizer in March, and just tested positive for COVID again. My symptoms are elevated heart rate (of course, same as before but a little lower), sharp chest pain, and fatigue/queasiness.
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10/01/2021, 22:28:39235016715the hottest thing anyone can tell you is "go back to sleep"
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11/17/2021, 3:56:1823233021636House of Gucci is great. Lady Gaga is a fucking movie star. Adam Driver smiles for thirty minutes straight and his smile is so nice!
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08/10/2021, 17:54:5222731952326Hey Governor Cuomo, don't go anywhere. This season, there's a game within a game. You wanna play?
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01/07/2020, 23:57:50226924191**Buster Bluth voice** army had half day https://t.co/SAwo9UWeiH
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02/07/2020, 17:56:11225023668ANYONE: Wow, how do you know so much about the banal minutiae underpinning the fabric of our culture? ME: https://t.co/oQGLuzSV0r
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07/09/2020, 2:41:45224937161blessings and thank you everyone for the well wishes and the advice. muting this now because it's just a bit overwhelming when you're by yourself, and i'm trying not to be anxious. thank you thank you thank you and good luck to all of you im so sorry you're suffering.
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04/29/2019, 3:58:5020872231715ROSE: Why is it so hard to defeat the Light King? DOROTHY: Night King! ROSE: Night, Dorothy!
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07/14/2022, 17:30:42206514677monkeypox gay influencer white house zoom call is the collection of words that finally makes me disintegrate
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07/26/2020, 14:43:162038141324she got him https://t.co/RJRZH9MlmC
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11/30/2021, 17:08:5819545900The secret to small talk is just large font and double space, same as anything.
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04/11/2020, 12:48:011953841529Hate being the early riser of the group chats
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12/29/2018, 17:49:05191314608Manila Luzon on last night’s Drag Race https://t.co/Zgf6Elojtm
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01/27/2020, 4:59:51190020387it's-a me your little Venice bitch https://t.co/lEv3ZtPtZZ
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02/12/2020, 22:19:08184261101To the centrist egg on here who once called me a “Pedro Pascal looking mfer” ... I know you were trying to be mean but it is the only nice thing anyone has ever said about me
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09/06/2019, 18:17:4818291963055seeing people describe the Hercules Disney movie as "C-tier" is one of the most shocking tings... people have no taste
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06/22/2020, 3:01:5317982001610y’all say Jubilee is the weakest x-man but y’alls personalities are also “the fireworks are ruining my life” so please pick a side
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02/03/2021, 19:49:101778142710icon, nobody derailed an episode like her https://t.co/CokQQKMFSO
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02/08/2020, 5:59:271703160318This is one of the single most unhinged moments I’ve seen from an anchor. https://t.co/XnLfI9vcKg
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03/28/2019, 20:54:1816991573613Does my gayness count as diversity.... I'm... older than a lot of my rights? https://t.co/imxixhojWx
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12/21/2019, 4:59:5416511410@UniversalPics hi! just checking in on this
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05/20/2019, 13:07:2916241501211Elizabeth Warren moving from 7 percent in the polls to 8 percent in the polls: https://t.co/QPnHCWBhzX
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09/19/2019, 16:34:051579881711wow... i *did* that!!! https://t.co/PEnJQKn5CN
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09/24/2021, 20:39:2215671977969This is the toughest secret I’ve ever had to keep! For @Vice, I spent a year making a point-and-click video game inspired by puzzle/mystery games from the nineties. Even if you can’t find your way out, I hope you find something to drink. Play here: https://t.co/YAv3CHWPn3 https://t.co/3r70mAMdsi
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03/26/2019, 16:53:3115439082the gay agenda is knowing how to pronounce buttigieg but not mueller
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11/15/2021, 17:46:4814395531cannot believe she cut "you kept me like a secret, but i kept you like an oath"
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05/06/2019, 22:10:52142412611so upsetting that met gala doesnt give us the drag race runway inner monologue voiceover we've been conditioned to expect
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12/23/2019, 15:58:581420871131Help https://t.co/PUfiAjiJG6
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03/03/2020, 18:09:17140393325so... i bought a bag of fancy granola from the supermarket and the flavor is "Apples... and a surprise!" I'm thinking... cinnamon? cloves? maybe a sticker or a toy like a box of cereal/cracker jack? turns out... it's gummy worms. the bag of granola is filled with gummy worms.
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03/20/2020, 2:52:1113663473784Hi fellow social distancers! I made an Escape Room-style game using... Google Docs. Check it out: https://t.co/L5JZqy920k
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05/20/2019, 2:18:4613528498Say what you will about the Game of Thrones finale, that democracy fakeout was inCREDible.
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05/13/2019, 2:30:131330131620You all are complaining about this episode but maybe you didn’t see Cersei going “don’t know what this is” and walking right past the Hound Jdbfjsknfbfnnf
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04/06/2020, 15:34:47124358269is anyone else... exhausted... from all the dread? i have a tiredness that I just can't shake
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12/20/2019, 22:23:091210931627when someone shows you who they are, believe them https://t.co/SMmHDKxqxz
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09/13/2021, 13:55:3412018437my brain while receiving compliments: when will they say hot...... when will they say hot......
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08/13/2019, 1:02:201182721612FRIEND: Anthony, what are you thinking about? ME, LYING: How to make life better for folx in this country. MY BRAIN: https://t.co/aCND218Hfi
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04/25/2019, 15:57:46112012063I don't have a Barack Obama endorsement, I've never had a Barack Obama endorsement, if I wanted a Barack Obama endorsement, yes I could probably go out and get one, because I am what??? CENTRIST! https://t.co/ohRracGr55
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05/21/2020, 19:56:52103448145TIRED: Covid-19 WIRED: KloBid-2020
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12/09/2020, 21:16:37101855136just stressed myself out because if Kathy were the one who lived with Garfield they would both be so much happier, and yet they will never know each other, despite being a clear fit.......
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12/28/2021, 23:12:4610178899West Side Story is Spielberg’s best movie about sharks
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02/22/2020, 17:19:4299960143ah yes... the civil rights movement... famous Democratic establishment victory https://t.co/4u2LmqbEZ4
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07/08/2020, 22:42:08975230@MaraWilson I would... very much like it to stop.
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11/29/2021, 22:39:009714412could a depressed person do this? **crosses "laundry" off a document titled "11/22 to-dos"**
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09/02/2021, 2:00:329536072Blastoise is Filipino https://t.co/advfU6V9qM
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06/08/2021, 13:38:219393570thinking about when my sister hacked my AIM and messaged all my friends "my sister is such a bitch, i hate her" and everyone messaged her back "i thought you loved your sister, you talk about her all the time" and she started crying and took me shopping
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07/12/2021, 15:51:4093534110That said! The symptoms I'm feeling right now vs. the symptoms I felt when I got COVID are noooooooooooothing lol. That's the vaccine working!
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04/22/2020, 16:22:43917541011Still thinking about this INCREDIBLE 2011 Grammy Best New Artist upset. https://t.co/14gC83Mbx2
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03/09/2020, 19:29:3191457143just saw someone on facebook accidentally say "big parma" instead of "big pharma" and now all i can think of is a giant chicken parm that nobody can afford
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03/10/2022, 18:54:4591144107deserved a full spinoff https://t.co/4OVielj8hg
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03/17/2020, 21:54:269097452Me two weeks ago: everyone is overreacting Me today: just did my nightly washing of all the beers in my fridge and now I’m ready to put on a fun hat and pop off on Zoom with all my friends
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09/21/2022, 18:22:239048128printers in the 1990s https://t.co/H2Zz24l3Yr
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05/09/2022, 20:21:048529954The outcome of the Philippine presidential election is appalling, the undoing of a revolution. My heart is broken for my homeland. I feel sick. Beyond that heartbreak, that nausea, I am feeling something I rarely feel, so I know to listen to it when I feel it: I’m scared.