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Please share general views on aspects of the zero draft outcome document that you support, as well as areas of it that need strengthening

Please enter your feedback on the title "Transforming Our World by 2030: A New Agenda for Global Action"

Please enter your feedback on the Food for Thought Paper on a Possible Technology Facilitation Mechanism

Association Pour Les Victimes Du Monde

We welcome the release of the zero draft of the Outcome Document for the UN Summit to Adopt the Post-2015 Development Agenda, which will take place in New York, from 25 to 27 September 2015, and highly commend the efforts of the co-facilitators.

We welcome Member States’ reaffirmation of the post-2015 development agenda being a “plan of action for people, planet and prosperity that also seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom” (para. 7), and bring attention to the central role that ending violence against children will play in the attainment of the latter. We wholeheartedly endorse Member States’ pledge to leave no one behind, and to ensure that no goal or target will be met until it is met for all economic and social groupings (para. 4).

2015 presents a once-in-a-generation opportunity to ensure that children’s right to protection from all forms of violence and exploitation is fully realized in all settings. Unless the protection of children from violence is clearly prioritized not only through a standalone target, but also throughout the entire post-2015 development agenda, the committed and immediate action that is needed will not come to fruition; development gains of the past fifteen years will be lost; and other emerging priorities will not be addressed.

We endorse the language under A call for action to change our world (paras. 40-44), including the acknowledgement of the fundamental role that younger generations play in achieving sustainable development. We urge Member States to build upon the inspirational effect of this section, and incorporate it in the preamble to the Outcome Document for the Summit to Adopt the Post-2015 Development Agenda.

… Spiraling conflict, violence and extremism, [including violence against women and children,] humanitarian crises and a growing migration challenge threaten to reverse much of the development progress made in recent decades. …

… A world in which every woman and girl enjoys full gender equality and all barriers to their empowerment in our societies have been removed[, and every child grows free from violence and exploitation.] …

Extra paragraph between paras. 18-19: Every child deserves quality education and healthcare, as well as growing up in an enabling and safe environment. The protection, survival and development of children to their full potential, including through education, is the foundation of stable societies and a critical element for future sustainable and inclusive economic growth.

… All people irrespective of gender, race or ethnicity, including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children and youth in vulnerable situations, should have access to [safe and non-violent learning environments and to] learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society.

… We will work to build dynamic, sustainable and people-centred economies, promoting youth employment in particular and decent work for all[, and bringing child labour, particularly in its worst forms, to an end.] …

… We must redouble our efforts to [end all forms of abuse, exploitation, and violence against children, as well as to] resolve or prevent conflict and to support countries emerging from conflict situations so as to lay the foundations for sustainable development. …

… Business, the private sector, [civil society] and philanthropic organizations will feature prominently in relation to resource mobilization and implementation of the Agenda.

Extra paragraph between paras. 35-36: The post-2015 development agenda must be implemented through all-of-society engagement and partnerships, facilitating modes of participation that are accessible, empowering, inclusive, and non-discriminatory, with a special focus on the most vulnerable and marginalized populations, including children, women, and youth.

We also commit to [promote participatory processes that allow citizens and civil society to engage in follow-up and review of this Agenda, and to] scaling up substantially public-private cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information, in supporting and tracking progress.

A robust, effective, inclusive[, participatory] and transparent follow-up and review framework, operating at the national, regional and global levels, will promote effective implementation of this Agenda and accountability [with and] to our citizens.

c) They will be open and inclusive, supported by an enabling environment for the participation of all people and stakeholders[, including children, young people, and other marginalized and vulnerable populations.] …

SANT BALDEV SINGH

The All Members of Anti Crime Bureau warm welcome the release of the zero draft of the Outcome Document for the UN Summit to Adopt the Post-2015 Development Agenda, which will take place in New York, from 25 to 27 September 2015, Our general views on aspects of zero draft outcome document best for to all countries in the world and we are highly commend the efforts of the co-facilitators of this Agenda !

The title "Transforming Our World by 2030" is good but our work or mission is start from 2015 and 2030 is so long period in our Agenda so many parts on hunger and needy requirements for human being just like food, health and any things wich is require in life day to day and in short time and daily need if we are going to no body left behind thus the title will be the best for this mission or Agenda "World Transformed Before 2030"
No body will be awaiting for 2030 to world transforming because 2030 is end of our Agenda to complete our work or mission.

International Movement ATD Fourth World

The International Movement ATD Fourth World welcomes the renewed commitment to leaving no one behind as stressed in the zero draft of the outcome document for the UN Summit in September 2015 which will adopt the Post-2015 Development Agenda.
The declaration establishes a level of ambition that all people will need to embrace in order to really transform our world. It embraces dignity and human rights as central components of the fight against poverty. Yet, even within this document ambition falters in the follow-up and review element.
ATD Fourth World highlights herein some areas where the document could better frame the Agenda as one that will reach the poorest. Further, it makes some recommendations for strengthening the follow-up and review mechanism.

Although the 9 bullet points proposed by the co-facilitators capture the breadth of the sustainable development goals, two rephrased goals seem to lose some of their transformational essence in this presentation.
Firstly, the SDGs conceptualize poverty as a multidimensional phenomenon. It is important not to regress in this respect. As such, when poverty is mentioned, it should be in all its dimensions. For example in the first bullet:
End poverty [ADD: in all its dimensions] and hunger
Second, the bullet encapsulating goal 10 from the Open Working Group proposal, uses the word combat (an action) instead of reduce (an outcome). We propose that the language, which is used throughout the text, reverts back to:
Reduce inequalities within and between countries

Para 4: In order to leave no one behind, the international community will need to ensure that targets are met for all economic and social groupings. This principle is central to the Post-2015 agenda and therefore it merits a stronger commitment than “wish to see” as such we propose:
[ADD: We commit to see that] the goals and targets are met for all economic and social groupings.

Para 5: Listening to the voices and concerns of the poorest and the vulnerable is a practice championed by the Post-2015 agenda. This is an essential component of this agenda, and will continue to be in its implementation. This sentence must be maintained in the text.

Para 8: It is important to remember the lessons learned from the MDGs. In this regard, it is importantly true that progress has been uneven in the MDG era. However, it is important to be more direct and to stress that the poorest and most vulnerable tend to be excluded from development policies. Below an addition in this regard:
But the progress has been uneven, [ADD: at times excluding the poorest,] and some of the Goals remain off-track.

Para 15: This paragraph importantly strengthens the idea of social well-being which could encompass some of the central aspects of poverty like social connectedness and inclusion. Furthermore, the paragraph also stresses dignity which, is always mentioned when people discuss their experiences with poverty. However, there are two important shortcomings: the word ‘basic’ before education and the omission of the word ‘participation’.
…of universal access to [ADD: free, equitable and quality primary and secondary] education …
A just, equitable, tolerant and inclusive world, [ADD: where everyone can participate].

Para 17: Best captures the principle of no one left behind. Specifically in light of ATD Fourth World’s participatory research, it is crucial that states commit to an agenda that promotes dignity for all people, especially those who are living in poverty and marginalization. We welcome this paragraph.

Para 21: Throughout the text this list is used to bring emphasis to the most vulnerable groups. However, this list excludes people who are living in poverty who may not belong to one of these groups. Furthermore in every country the poorest need particularly attention, so we propose to add “the poorest in every country”

Para 22: This paragraph omits income level as one of the social groupings that lead to exclusion from education:
All people irrespective of [ADD: income], gender, race….

Para 24: Social protection is not mentioned once in this declaration. In this regard we propose to include this vital concept in this paragraph:
We will therefore adopt policies which increase productivity and productive employment, [ADD: social protection,] financial inclusion…

Para 26: The OWG outcome and Rio +20 speak to participatory human settlement planning. Yet this paragraph on cities and human settlements omits this key aspect:
We will work [ADD: to enhance the participation of urban residents, including the poor as well as local authorities] to renew and plan our cities to foster…

Para 27: Is an important reference to climate change and the ongoing processes. It is well-known that the poorest people are the most vulnerable to climate change and as such we propose to add a phrase drawn from the IPCC’s fifth assessment report:
The global nature of climate change,[ADD: and the fact that people who are socially, economically, culturally, politically, institutionally, or otherwise marginalized are especially vulnerable to climate change and also to some adaptation and mitigation responses] , calls for the widest possible international cooperation aimed at accelerating the reduction of global greenhouse gas emissions

Para 28: This paragraph tries to capture goal 16. Yet, two important aspects of the goal—and peace and access to justice more broadly—are omitted. The proposals below include these two aspects, namely discrimination and transparency.
…the rule of law and effective, [ADD: transparent], and accountable institutions.
Factors which give rise to violence, insecurity and injustice, such as corruption, [ADD: discrimination], and poor governance, are addressed in the Agenda.

Para 35: highlights the important role of financial institutions in implementation. However, the paragraph does not speak to the importance of aligning IFI policies with sustainable development:
We acknowledge the need for international financial institutions to respect the domestic policy space of all countries, in particular developing countries and least developed countries. [ADD: Their advice should take into account social costs and be designed to minimize negative impact on the vulnerable segments of society.]
Monterrey Consensus (2003) para 56

This drafting presents the poorest people—and other groups like children—as recipients of aid instead of agents of change.
As the Rio declaration states, sustainable development requires the meaningful involvement and active participation of major groups and other stakeholders, including local communities :
Governments and public institutions will work closely in this regard with national parliaments, local authorities, [ADD: local communities], international institutions…
Rio+20, para43

Para 39: Although it is important to engage the private sector in the leveraging of data, especially big data, states should not forget the important work being done by civil society in data production and analysis:
We also commit to scaling up substantially public-private [ADD: and civil society] cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information, in supporting and tracking progress.

information on ODA counteracts corruption and helps communities ensure they are receiving the funds allocated for their development. ATD Fourth World has been advocating for the expansion of the International Aid Transparency Initiative in this regard. In this paragraph, the introduction of the word “transparent” could support this line of argument:
International public finance remains key and the [ADD: transparent] fulfillment of all ODA commitments is essential to complement domestic resources.

Para 7: Again, this paragraph excludes local communities as holders of knowledge and resources:
Successful implementation will also depend on the resources, knowledge and ingenuity of business, civil society, [ADD: local communities], the scientific community, academia, research institutions…

Each member state could, at least once every four years, conduct robust and inclusive reviews of progress, based on a publicly available government progress report and complemented [ADD: by reports from] civil society, academia, local government [ADD: and communities], the UN system, private sector and other actors. [ADD: Through participatory monitoring], National Parliaments can play an important role in review processes as well as other national institutions such as National Sustainable Development Councils and local authorities

This paragraph excludes a stakeholder report and, it ignores the role that civil society can play in producing quality data. In order to incorporate diverse data into the follow up of the agenda, a World Forum for Sustainable Development should be established.
Follow-up and reviews at the HLPF would be informed by [ADD: a national stakeholder report, and] the Global Sustainable Development Report...
...based on data from national statistical systems [ADD: and other sources. The World Forum for Sustainable Development Data will be crucial in leveraging these diverse data.]

I feel it has really left out a very important sector of society which are the small scale fishers. I believe the document needs to incorporate this sector as a marginal and vulnerable one together with others as youth, women and indigenous communities. At least in Latin America it is a very important sector to work with concerning sustainable development of the sea.
Even though it has been mentioned in the ocean goal, it has been done in a very simple and light manner that does not recognize adequately from my perspective their needs and goals to reach adequate governance of the marine and coastal ecosystems.

21.  Add…. Vulnerable sections of the population whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets include children, youth, ( women ), people living with disability and older people; the needs of others who are vulnerable, such as migrants, ( small scale fishers ) and indigenous peoples, are also reflected.  People living in areas affected by conflict, terrorism, and complex humanitarian emergencies are algo experiencing severe challenges. 

* 33.  Add at the end of the paragraph the recognition of traditional knowledge of men and women from local and indigenous communities.  ( We recognized the importance of incorporating traditional knowledge of local and indigenous communities to confront the challenges towards sustainable development).

5.5 . Ensure women’s full and effective participation and equal opportunities for leadership at all levels of decision-making in political, economic, ( environmental)  and public life. 

Add:
Small-scale fishing should be recognized as  a source of food and work for coastal and marine communities ( including men, women and youth) around the world. . Fish is specially caught, processed, consumed and sold by women and youth. 
Recognizing the need to have a human-rights approach to marine conservation in accordance to the FAO SSF guidelines in support of sustainable small scale fisheries and their implementation process.

As an indicator for 2030 for 14 .  Base the description of areas that meet the criteria for EBSAs on traditional knowledge as well as scientific and technical expertise.

15.b

Add (mobilization of resources towards coastal and marine conservation human-rights base approaches). 

Add ( the need to work towards sustainable use of river resources and watershed approach to river conservation).

14b- It should not be only access to markets and resources but to the right of a cultural identity associated with the sea, access to land and marine territories and power sharing having access to community governance models of protected areas.

Great document thank you. Please dont forget animals and encourage governments like the Chinese to end this old mindset about animals. Like Rhino Horn, Bear Bile, Tortured Cats and Dogs for Viagra.
Also, I have feed back on Sustainable Development Goal Number 2 but cant see where to add it. So......my feed back for 2.4 is
PLEASE ADD ANIMAL WELFARE - inside of Sustainable Food Production Systems in this paragraph, 2.4
paragrpah 2.4 - thank you

http://www.sustainabledevelopment2015.org/index.php/uncsd-official-docs/sdgs-news/1322-draft-inputs-from-the-food-and-agriculture-cluster-of-the-ngo-major-group-2

Sustainable cities - ending animal abuse sports and things - bear baiting and coon on a log, still legal in USA - burning dogs alive at festivals, still legal in South Korea - bird stoning, bull drowning, still celebrated in Spain

please please do not forget animal welfare in the new agenda.........

peaceful and inclusive socities - under this heading - please raise the issue of the poor animals who are still being abused as part of culture..........in China you can order your tortured dog on line, watch it being tortured for extra health benefits, and then it is delivered to your door

peaceful and inclusive socities - animal welfare - stray dog crisis............

dog fighting

in China, at Chinese New year of the horse, they make male horses fight to death

year of pig, they make male pigs fight to death

in China they throw live sheep, just giving birth, into the fire...........

2030 - Time To Transform - The new Agenda for Change and Global Action........

Agricultural Development - please dont forget to place importance on animal welfare

http://www.sustainabledevelopment2015.org/index.php/uncsd-official-docs/sdgs-news/1322-draft-inputs-from-the-food-and-agriculture-cluster-of-the-ngo-major-group-2



http://www.peta.org/blog/india-bans-foie-gras/

Please be aware of unsustainable patterns in animal agriculture - this particular method was devised in Ancient Egypt - and has no place in

http://www.peta.org/blog/india-bans-foie-gras/

Please dont forget about the consumption of animal products, and how much better governance is needed for example in China, animals are skinned alive for their fur, which gets sold on Ebay.

Peaceful socities - environment and animals are important. please try and advocate that animal abuse sports, blood sports, torture festivals, bull fighting and such like, are started to be phased out. In South Africa a live bull is ripped apart by 40 men, no knives allowed. In Nepal a hoard of young men tear up a live female goat throwing her in the water and grabbing. In Spain kids at festivals throw stones at birds. Did you know, that trapping in the USA happens because of corruption. And dog meat trade in South Korea is also based on corruption. Please do not forget the animals. 2015 agenda. Please - none of this belongs in the new Agenda.
We need the Universal Animal Welfare Dec and for UN to speak up about the above - the member states. Thank you

Animal Testing for Science;. There needs to be more control. It is out of control. Do we really need to keep testing Beagles for ciggerettes? Do we really need to test perfume and make up on rabbits? Do we really need to take baby monkeys away from their mums to find out things we already know? Or blast loud music into their ears? Science is quite disgraceful in this aspect. Please we need a BIG BIG Animal wake up call - what humans are doing to animals is really bad...............

The SDG zero draft, in relation to sanitation, is a significant advance on the MDGs. Having said that, the SDG for sanitation could be couched better. In its current formulation, it suffers on three counts. First, a goal that wishes to secure both an end to open defecation and sanitation for all only by 2030, condemns millions to suffer the scourge of water borne disease for longer than should be countenanced. Secondly, the language still draws on the traditional association of sanitation with water (a vastly different commodity) in finding it necessary to speak of adequate and equitable access and inclusion of certain sections, as if sanitation that is not safe and sustainable for all, can still be an achievement. Thirdly, it needs to implicitly recognize that achieving sanitation is about changing collective behaviour and this happens when communities (from village to metropolitan city) realize this need themselves and are empowered to take action to redress their situation.

To address the infirmities listed above and recognizing the need to be succint and follow a common format, we would seek a reformulation of the SDG on sanitation on the following lines:
6.2 By 2030, achieve safe and sustainable sanitation for all while securing the end of open defecation at the earliest through inclusive action by empowered communities that addresses the special needs of girls and women as well as those of other vulnerable sections, in undertaking this responsibility.

We would seek a reformulation of the SDG on sanitation on the following lines: 6.2 By 2030, achieve safe and sustainable sanitation for all while securing the end of open defecation at the earliest through inclusive action by empowered communities that addresses the special needs of girls and women as well as those of other vulnerable sections, in undertaking this responsibility. Please read our full feedback in the box for Overall feedback.

Reference to domestic resource mobilization should explicitly mention encouragement of diaspora remittances and community philanthropy (in addition to tax collection).

The preamble must set the tone and summarize the key principles of the agenda and the vision of the world we want in 2030. This must include a reference to human rights, as has been recognized in various UN documents already, including the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Millennium Declaration, Rio +20, the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action, ICPD Programme of Action. This can be done as follows:

"•Strengthen governance and promote peaceful, safe, just and inclusive societies, ADD [and the respect, promotion and protection of all human rights and fundamental freedoms;]
and"

It is very important to add gender equality and women’s empowerment, as this is an essential element to achieve sustainable development. This has been recognized both in the Beijing and Cairo Declarations, amongst others. This can be done as follows:

"[...] We intend, between now and 2030, to end poverty and hunger once and for all; to combat inequalities; [to achieve gender equality and the empowerment and full realisation of human rights of women and girls]; to ensure the lasting protection of the planet and its resources [...]"

The post-2015 agenda must be more ambitious and aspirational, and action-oriented.

The reference to “economic and social groupings” is vague and open to interpretation, hence suggest to delete this and make clear that the SDGs are to be met for all. The paragraph can be edited as follows:

"4. As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge that nobody will be left behind. We DELETE [wish to see the] ADD [affirm our collective commitment that no] goals and targets ADD [are] met ADD [unless they are met] for all DELETE [economic and social groupings]."

The term “vulnerable” implies a lack of agency of people to lift themselves out of poverty. The agenda must recognize that it is often structural and other barriers that are perpetuating poverty, exclusion and inequalities. For this reason, the term “marginalized” is much more appropriate.

"[...] It will be implemented by all of us acting in collaborative partnership. We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty, ADD [inequalities] and want and to heal and secure our planet for future generations. We are determined to take the bold and transformative steps needed to shift the world onto a sustainable footing."

Comment- It is important to add "inequalities" to this paragraph, as inequalities within and between countries has been recognized as a major impediment to sustainable development.

"[...] Alongside traditional development priorities such as health, education and food security and nutrition, it sets out a wide range of economic, ADD [social] and environmental objectives and also promises more peaceful, better governed and inclusive societies [...]"

Comment- Important to add the word “social” to be in line with the three dimensions of sustainable development according to Rio+20.

"10. We DELETE [recall] ADD [reaffirm our commitments to fully implement] the outcomes of major UN conferences and summits which have laid a solid foundation for sustainable development and have helped to shape the new Agenda. These include the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development; the Millennium Declaration; the World Summit on Sustainable Development; ADD [the International Conference on Population and Development Programme of Action and its subsequent reviews; the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action and its subsequent reviews]; the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development (“Rio + 20”) [...]"

Comment- The added conferences laid out essential foundations for population and development (ICPD) and gender equality (Beijing)

"[...] Universal Declaration of Human Rights and other ADD [core] international ADD [human rights] instruments ADD [as well as key declarations] such as the Declaration on the Right to Development ADD [and the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.] We reaffirm all the principles of the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, including, inter alia, the principle of common but differentiated responsibilities."

Comment- It is essential to specify which instruments are referred to here. As a minimum, the paragraph should refer to “core human rights instruments” as well as two key declarations relevant in this context – i.e. Declaration on the right to development, and the Declaration on indigenous peoples.

"[...] There are enormous disparities of opportunity, wealth and power. ADD [Addressing gender inequality and realising women’s rights remains a key challenge in all regions of the world]. Unemployment, particularly youth unemployment, is growing. Spiraling conflict, violence and extremism, ADD [systematic and widespread human rights violations], humanitarian crises and a growing ADD [displacement and] migration challenge threaten to reverse much of the development progress made in recent decades. Natural resource depletion and adverse impacts of environmental degradation, including drought and the prospect of irreversible climate change, add to the list of challenges which humanity faces. The survival of many societies, and of the planet itself, is at risk"

"13.These challenges are interrelated and call for integrated solutions. To address them effectively, a new approach is needed. Sustainable development recognizes that eradicating poverty and inequality, ADD [promoting, protecting and fulfilling human rights], preserving the planet and creating inclusive economic growth are linked to each other and interdependent."

"[...] A world, for example, of safe and nutritious food; of affordable ADD [and accessible] DELETE [drinking] water ADD [and sanitation]; of universal access to basic education; ADD [of adequate housing], of physical, mental and social well-being ADD [for all].

"A world in which every woman and girl enjoys full gender equality ADD [and full realisation of their human rights], and all barriers to their empowerment in our societies have been removed [...]"

Comment- Water is needed for cooking and food preparation, personal hygiene and cleaning - hence the word “drinking” must be removed. Sanitation, as an essential factor to ensure people’s health and dignity, was reflected in the MDGs and should be mentioned here.

"16. We are announcing today 17 Goals with 169 associated targets. Never before have world leaders pledged common action and endeavour across such a broad policy agenda. We are setting out together on the path towards sustainable development, devoting ourselves collectively to the pursuit of global development and of “win-win” cooperation which can bring huge gains to all countries and all parts of the world. We will implement the Agenda for the full benefit of all, for today’s generation and for future generations. In doing so, we reaffirm our commitment to international law and emphasize that the Agenda will be implemented in a manner that is consistent with the rights and obligations of states under international law, ADD [including human rights and humanitarian law.]"

"[...] It will work to ensure that ADD [all] DELETE [fundamental] rights and freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on ADD [any] grounds, ADD [including] DELETE [of] race, colour, sex, language, religion, culture, migratory status, ADD [civil status], political or other opinion, national or social origin, ADD [geographic location], economic situation, ADD [age, gender identity or sexual orientation], birth or disability."

Comment- To ensure that truly no one is left behind, it is essential to broaden this paragraph. As a very minimum, the paragraph must refer to the prohibition of non-discrimination on “any ground”. It is important to also add missing discrimination grounds in the listing.

"18. Working for gender equality and the empowerment ADD [and full realisation of the human rights of women and girls] will make a crucial contribution to progress across all the goals and targets."

"DELETE [This is also a basic issue of human rights]. Women and girls must enjoy equal access to education ADD [and health, including sexual and reproductive health], and equal opportunities for employment ADD [and political participation] with men and boys. All forms of gender inequality, gender-based discrimination and violence against women and children, both boys and girls, will be combatted ADD [as a matter of high priority]."

"20. Each country faces specific challenges in its pursuit of sustainable development. The most vulnerable countries and, in particular, African countries, least developed countries, landlocked developing countries and small island developing states deserve special attention, as do countries in situations of conflict ADD [and those emerging from conflict.] There are also serious challenges within many middle-income countries."

"21. DELETE [Vulnerable] Disadvantaged sections of the population whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets include ADD [women], children, youth, ADD [minorities], DELETE [people living with disability] ADD [persons with disabilities], and older people; the needs of others who are DELETE [vulnerable] ADD [marginalized], such as migrants and indigenous peoples, ADD [individuals and groups facing multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination], are also reflected. People living in areas affected by conflict, terrorism and complex humanitarian emergencies are also experiencing severe challenges.

"22. We commit to providing quality education at all levels – early childhood, primary, secondary and tertiary. All people irrespective of gender, race or ethnicity, ADD [civil status, geographical location, income, social and economic background], including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children and youth in vulnerable situations, should have access to learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society."

"23. To extend life expectancy for all, we must achieve universal health coverage. No one must be left behind. We commit to accelerating the progress made to date in reducing infant, child and maternal mortality by ending all preventable deaths of infants, children and DELETE [expectant mothers] ADD [pregnant women] by 2030. We shall ensure universal access to ADD [health services, including] sexual and reproductive health care services, for family planning, information and education. We will equally accelerate the pace of progress made in fighting malaria, HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and other communicable diseases and epidemics. At the same time we shall devote greater effort to tackling non-communicable diseases."

"24. We will seek to build strong economic foundations for all our countries. Sustained, ADD [equitable] and inclusive economic growth is essential for prosperity. We will work to build dynamic, sustainable and people-centred economies, promoting youth employment in particular and decent work for all. All countries stand to benefit from having a healthy and well-educated workforce with the knowledge and skills needed for productive and fulfilling work and full participation in society. We will therefore adopt policies which increase productivity and productive employment, financial inclusion, agricultural and industrial development, sustainable transport systems and modern energy provision."

"28. Sustainable development cannot be realized without peace ADD [and justice]. The new Agenda recognizes the need to build peaceful, just and inclusive societies, based on respect for human rights (including the right to development), ADD [gender equality], the rule of law and effective and accountable institutions. These are fundamental requirements for the achievement of sustainable development. Factors which give rise to violence, insecurity and injustice, such as corruption, ADD [lack of accountability] and poor governance [...]"

"29. We recognize the intrinsic value of diversity, culture and sport as enablers of sustainable development. We acknowledge the natural and cultural diversity of the world and recognize that all cultures and civilizations can contribute to sustainable development. We pledge to foster inter-cultural understanding, tolerance, mutual respect and an ethic of global citizenship and shared responsibility, ADD [while respecting, protecting and fulfilling human rights for all.]"

Add a new Paragraph before this:
States have the right and the duty to formulate appropriate national development policies that aim at the constant improvement of the well-being of the entire population and of all individuals, on the basis of their active, free and meaningful participation in development and in the fair distribution of the benefits resulting therefrom.

"34. We are committed to a well-functioning, ADD [transparent], equitable and rules-based multilateral trading system for the realization of the new Agenda. We resolve to work together to enhance macro-economic and financial stability through improved policy coordination and coherence. We resolve to reach early agreement in the Doha Development Round of trade negotiations. We attach great importance to providing trade-related capacity-building for least developed countries."

"35. We acknowledge the need for international financial institutions to respect the domestic policy space of all countries, in particular developing countries and least developed countries, ADD [and to ensure that their activities do not contribute to any human rights violations]. We agree to work to increase the representation of developing countries, and their involvement in decision-making, in these institutions."

"36. The scale and ambition of the new Agenda calls for a renewed and strengthened Global Partnership to implement it. This Partnership will work in a spirit of global solidarity, in particular solidarity with the poorest, ADD [marginalized] and the DELETE [vulnerable] ADD [disadvantaged]. It will facilitate an intensive global engagement in support of implementation, ADD [monitoring and review] of the goals and targets, bringing together Governments, the private sector, ADD [national parliaments, judiciary], civil society, the United Nations system and other actors and mobilizing all available resources. Inclusive multi-stakeholder partnerships will be needed to support specific priorities under the Agenda and to mobilize the requisite resources."

Comment- Strongly support the inclusion of the reference to accountability in this paragraph.

States have the responsibility to advance the implementation of the SDGs. As such, they are accountable to their people to deliver on the commitments under the agenda. The lack of a systematic and well-defined accountability architecture has been commonly identified as a key reason for some major shortfalls in achieving the MDGs. By ensuring a post-2015 accountability framework that will monitor progress for all goals, correct setbacks, hear from all relevant stakeholders and engage with people affected to address their concerns, States will help to ensure effective implementation at all levels.

"39. We look forward to the development of indicators to assist this work. Quality disaggregated data will be needed to help with the measurement of progress ADD [and ensuring no one is left behind]. We agree to intensify our efforts to strengthen statistical capacities in developing countries, particularly least developed countries and other countries in special situations. We also commit to scaling up substantially public-private cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information, in supporting and tracking progress."

"40. Seventy years ago, an earlier generation of world leaders came together to create the United Nations. From the ashes of war and division they fashioned this Organization and the values of peace, ADD human rights, dialogue and international cooperation which underpin it. The supreme embodiment of those values is the Charter of the United Nations."

"42. What we are announcing today – an agenda for global action for the next fifteen years – is a ADD [universal] charter for people and planet in the twenty-first century."

"43. “We the Peoples” are the celebrated opening words of the UN Charter. It is “We the Peoples” who are embarking today on the road to 2030. Our journey will involve Governments, Parliaments, local authorities, ADD [judiciary], business and the private sector, the scientific and academic community, civil society – DELETE [and] ordinary Delete [citizens] ADD [people and other stakeholders]. Millions have already engaged with, and will own, this agenda. It is an agenda by and for the people – and this, we believe, will ensure its success."

"2. We recognise that each country has primary responsibility for its own economic and social development and that the role of national policies and development strategies cannot be overemphasised. At the same time, national development efforts need to be supported by an enabling international economic environment ADD [and be consistent with human rights standards and principles.]"

"5. Domestic public resources mobilization will continue to be crucial. We acknowledge the power and reach of financial inclusion. We note also the critical importance of private finance and we call on businesses to apply their creativity and innovation and to engage as ADD [accountable] partners in the development process. International public finance remains key and the fulfillment of all ODA commitments is essential to complement domestic resources."

"7. Successful implementation will also depend on the resources, knowledge and ingenuity of business, civil society, the scientific community, academia, research institutions, philanthropists and foundations, parliaments, ADD [judiciary, national human rights institutions, local] authorities, volunteers and other stakeholders. We urge all to embrace our commitment to sustainable development, including by directing investments and activities towards areas that contribute to sustainable development and away from harmful, unsustainable ones."

"1. A robust, effective, inclusive, ADD [participatory] and transparent follow-up and review framework, operating at the national, regional and global levels, will promote effective implementation of this Agenda and accountability to our citizens."

Comment- Support the reference to accountability. Preferably, the reference should be broadened from “citizens” to “our people.”

"2. All member states will ADD [commit to] engage DELETE [voluntarily] in ADD [effective] review processes, taking into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development and respecting national policies and priorities. As national ownership is key to achieving sustainable development, outcomes from national ADD [and local] level processes will inform reviews at both regional and global levels."

Comment- In order to ensure that the SDGs are effectively implemented, Member States must commit to ensure adequate follow-up and review.

3b. "They will maintain a longer-term orientation, ADD [ensure alignment with human rights standards and obligations], identify achievement and critical success factors, support countries in making informed policy choices and mobilize the necessary means of implementation and partnerships;"

Comment- Existing human rights standards and obligations provide a useful guidance framework in defining and formulating development policies. The human rights framework also sets out clear obligations with regard to such issues as non-discrimination.

3c. "They will be open, ADD [transparent] and inclusive, supported by an enabling environment for the participation of all people and stakeholders."

3d. "They will build on existing platforms and processes, ADD [including at the supranational level], evolve over time and minimize the reporting burden on national administrations."

Comment- Member States must ensure that progress is made on the SDGs and that policy coherence is guaranteed also in connection with any supranational organisation they are part of.

"4. Building on existing reporting and planning instruments, such as national sustainable development strategies ADD [and human rights action plans], we encourage all member states to develop ambitious national responses to the SDGs and targets as soon as possible."

"5. Each member state could, at least once every four years, conduct robust and inclusive reviews of progress, based on a publicly available government progress report and complemented by contributions from civil society, academia, local government, the UN system, private sector and other actors. National Parliaments can play an important role in review processes as well as other national institutions such as National Sustainable Development Councils, ADD [national human rights institutions] and local authorities."

"8. The HLPF will be the apex of a global network of review processes, working coherently with the General Assembly, ECOSOC, ADD [Charter-based and treaty bodies] and other relevant actors, in accordance with existing mandates. It will facilitate sharing of experiences, including successes, challenges and lessons learned, and promote system-wide coherence and coordination of sustainable development policies. Adequate linkages will be made with the follow-up and review of UN Conferences on LDCs, SIDS, LLDCs and countries in special situations."

Russian Fair Trade Organization

Regrettably, many essential items were left up to national consideration. And many nations, including Switzerland, still are having problems constructing their institutional architecture for sustainable development policies. The 0-draft only suggests that the SG would release the recommendations on the national institutional architecture. My question is, who has any good practices at this point in the process?

Too many essential items were left up to national consideration. And many nations, including Switzerland, still are having problems constructing their institutional architecture for sustainable development policies. The 0-draft only suggests that the SG would release the recommendations on the national institutional architecture.

Ultimately, the question is, who has any good practices at this point in the process?

Association of World Citizens, a Founding Member of the Commons Cluster

The agenda aims to be universal and inclusive, i.e. of all individuals: Para 7 mentions “a programme for people, planet, ” “implemented by all of us acting in collaborative partnership” ; Para 25: “individuals”.Chapter 43 "ordinary citizens". The important role of the individual should be mentioned throughout the document, because it is the combined actions of all people that determine whether we live within planetary boundaries. Moreover the paradigm shift toward a more sustainable economy and society at all levels, based on caring, sharing and community is an important asset when implementing the SDGs.This movement is based on actions by individuals and collaboration at the grass roots level.Consistently stressing this will greatly strengthen the document and make it more coherent.

This title is rather pedestrian. It does not inspire.Alternatives:
A world that works for all people and nature by 2030

This Agenda is a plan of action for people, planet and prosperity that also seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom. All [Delete: countries. Add: people] acting in collaborative partnership will implement the Agenda.
For Rationale, See General Views above.

4. As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge [Add: to include all and] that nobody will be left behind. We wish to see the goals and targets met for all economic and social groupings [Add: and all people individually].

[Rationale, see General Views above. Also this will ensure that all people find fulfillment in their own individual ways. This will combat spiritual poverty which is a major contributor to over-consumption and thus generates material poverty.

Particularly like: living in complete harmony with nature]!!!
It is so important to completely embrace with environmental aspects of the goals.

16. ...
We are setting out together on the path towards sustainable development, devoting ourselves collectively to the pursuit of global development and of [Delete “win-win” ] cooperation [Add: for the benefit of all people, present and future generations and nature as a whole ] [Delete which can bring huge gains to all countries and all parts of the world. We will implement the Agenda for the full benefit of all, for today’s generation and for future generations. ]
...
Rationale: win/win is often used by businesses to join forces at the expense of others. Also the environmental pillar may not be left out here, since if our actions do not benefit Mother Nature, we have no foundation for success.
...

17.
18. This is an Agenda which encompasses all human rights and will promote dignity for all human beings. It will work to ensure that fundamental rights and freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on grounds of race, colour, sex, [Add: age] language, religion, culture, migratory status, political or other opinion, national or social origin, economic situation, birth or disability.

23. We commit to providing quality [Add: lifelong] education at all levels –[ Add: including] early childhood, primary, secondary, and tertiary [Add: which includes knowledge and skills relating to sustainable development]

[Rationale: Education that leaves out the sustainable development perspective can be harmful].
All people irrespective of gender, race or ethnicity, including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children and youth in vulnerable situations, should have access to [Add: life long] learning

Rationale: SDG 4 mentions lifelong learning. This makes sense because In nature all is engaged in processes of lifelong learning and adaptation.

30. Business, the private sector {Add: including cooperatives] and philanthropic organizations [Add: as well as the social solidarity economy that is already providing vast resources mostly for free via the Internet] ...
Agenda.
[Rationale:
1. Cooperatives are businesses whose identity is based on sharing with their-- in all one billion – members worldwide; the local communities where they are situated; and the global community.
2. The social solidarity economy is important. It
1. provides education, information, technology, goods and services.
2. is building an economy and society based on sustainability, caring, sharing and community.
3. Exemplifies the invaluable role played by ordinary people.]

Please keep the mention of geospatial data.

This is extremely important because through Geographic Information Systems, ordinary people can be involved in data collection This is a much more comprehensive and accurate approach to data collection than attempting to do it via professionals coming from the national statistical office. Also qualitative data can be collected more easily this way and that is important if we are to have economies based on well being rather than on GNP alone.

7 bis. Since it is the combined actions of all people that determine whether we live within planetary boundaries that support human life, all people should be seen as an integral part of a global partnership both as beneficiaries and contributors to a sustainable world; and the role they play in building a sustainable social solidarity economy should be acknowledged and built upon.

1. 1.a  Ensure significant mobilization of resources from a variety of sources, including through enhanced development cooperation [including by providing universal access to the Internet and thereby enabling all people access to become both beneficiaries and contributors to the global social solidarity economy] in order to provide adequate and predictable means for developing countries, in particular least developed countries, to implement programmes and policies to end poverty in all its dimensions [Add with the cooperation of their peoples]

2.a Increase investment, including through enhanced international cooperation, in rural infrastructure, permaculture agricultural research and extension services, technology development and plant 10
and livestock gene banks in order to enhance agricultural productive capacity in developing countries, in particular least developed countries. [Add: and encourage permaculture in parks, on rooftops and in gardens to provide a steady, easy to maintain and reliable food sources in urban environments.

4. Add: 4d. encourage learning using the many excellent free resources available through the Internet.
5. Add: 4e. Since sustainable development involves all people living in harmony with all others and nature, teach the golden rule at all levels and all fields of education—do unto others (people and nature) as you would have them do unto you—. Rationale: in this way all people will be working at living sustainably in all aspects of their individual lives.

4. [Add: 5.d. Give equal importance to intuition and emotional intelligence that is normally considered the domain of women and “primitive” peoeples.] Rationale: This will both both enable women to “be themselves” in the higher echelons of the economy rather than to have to simulate male behaviour. Intuition is morover the faculty that allows us to be sensitive to the promptings of nature.

3. [Add: 7c. provide to renewable energy and how to build it using free information and design methodology on the Internet.]

[Add: 8.a provide universal access to the Internet so that all can participate as conrtributors and beneficiaries of the global social solidarity economy.]

10. [Add: 8.10 provide universal access to the Internet so that all can participate as conrtributors and beneficiaries of the global social solidarity economy.]

11 [Add: d. Include green spaces in human settlements and permaculture in gardens to add to healthy nutrition, prevent species loss, provide areas for relaxation in a natural surround and encourage appreciation of the natural world.]

12. [Add :d. Implement Art 26 (2) of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights—the full development of the human personality to enable people to find personal fulfillment and thus not feel a need to constantlyly unsuccessfully fill the bottomless inner void by consuming.]

13. Add c. Implement a cap and share policy with regard to carbon emissions by strictly capping carbon emissions, charging fees for those who emit carbon below the cap and placing the resulting fees into a fund to restore the global commons with a small fraction to be divided as a basic income for all people.

14 Add. At coastal resorts and wherever fruits of the sea are sold, provide educational materials describing the web of life, its delicate interrelationships and how human beings fit into it.

15. Add d. Create wilderness areas small and large including in human settlements, connected by land bridges to increase biodiversity, and natural rehydration of soils and formation of freshwater ecosystems.

16 Add c. nstitutions at all levels of governance must include consideration of the well being of natural areas as places where biodiversty can grow and freshwater ecosystems can form; as well as to popular education on their importance as a part of the web of life of which humanity is an integral part.

7 bis. Since it is the combined actions of all people that determine whether we live within planetary boudnaries that support human life, all people should be seen as an integral part of a global partnership both as beneficiaries and contributors to a sustainable world; and the role they play in building a sustainable social solidarity economy should be acknowledged and built upon.

3. They will be open and inclusive, supported by an enabling environment for the participation of all people and stakeholders.

Add: The greater the participation at all levels, the stronger implementation and the more complete evaluation and follow-up will be, since all have an interest in the successful implementation of at least some of the goals and will have to help implement all goals to reach their individual objective since all goals are interrelated,

.., philanthropies, [Add: and individuals from all walks of life, ]etc.
Rationale: since those living in poverty often benefit from inventions by others living is similar conditions, while not being able to benefit from more complicated technologies.
A mechanism could include the following mutually supporting elements:
1. [Add: Universal access to the Internet supported by]
2. [Local Community Facilitators trained on line using UN developed courses, that the local facilitators then translate into national and local languages and apply to local and individual's needs.]
Rationale:
I. Local facilitators are uniquely suited to translate global materials in ways that meet local needs including so that also (Internet) illiterate) inhabitants can develop their unique potential sustainably with the help of the Internet.
II. Universal Internet access allows people from every background to both benefit from and contribute to others via the global social solidarity economy, while transforming the gap between rich and poor into a rich mosaic of myriad diverse and often innovative forms development.

Annual (or biennial) forum on science, technology and innovation for the SDGs could: 

Promote networking among governments, private sector,...and build multi- stakeholder partnerships [Add: that would include those developing technologies licensed via Open Source and other licenses that promote sharing and often provide technologies for free or at a low cost.]

The political declaration part of the document contains helpful language on adherence to international agreements, but often falls short of even mirroring the language in the goals and targets themselves. It would be important to bring the declaration into line with the OWG proposals and the goals and targets as set out in the full document.

The review of implementation feature needs to include a vision for how cross regional learning will happen. Many states have expressed their view of how important it is that the review process includes learning, generally. The proposal so far does not include much information on how such learning would happen, and even less on a cross-regional aspect.

Delete "groupings," substitute "groups. Final text: "4. As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge that nobody will be left behind. We wish to see the goals and targets met for all economic and social groups." [NOTE: “Social groupings” is not a term used in international law. Best to use already accepted and evaluated terminology, such as “social group” from the 1951 Convention relating to the Status of Refugees, Article 1.A.(2).]

Insert "inequality" after poverty. Final sentence: " We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty, inequality and want and to heal and secure our planet for future generations. " [NOTE: As the inclusion of a free-standing goal on inequality between and within countries is an acknowledged challenge to sustainable development that requires specific attention, this should be acknowledged prominently in the introduction to the Political Declaration.]

Insert "just" after "better governed." Final sentence: "... it sets out a wide range of economic and environmental objectives and also promises more peaceful, better governed, just, and inclusive societies." [NOTE: Important to retain “inclusive societies” here. Also, rule of law, justice and equality, are the focus of a free-standing goal in the OWG proposal and should be retained as a focus here.]

Insert "continued and in some cases widening gender disparity" after "extremism." Final sentence: "Spiraling conflict, violence and extremism, continued and in some cases widening gender disparity, humanitarian crises and a growing migration challenge threaten to reverse much of the development progress made in recent decades." [Note: gender disparity is acknowledged as an obstacle to progress in the OWG proposal and should be included as such here too.]

Insert "all" before "humanity. Final sentence: "… in a new global compact for the betterment of all humanity." [NOTE: Important to ensure the focus on all humanity in introduction.]

Insert prohibited list of grounds for discrimination from target 10.2 or para 4 of OWG proposal intro. Final sentence: "It will work to ensure that fundamental rights and freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on grounds of age, sex, disability, culture, race, ethnicity, migratory status, religion, economic or other status." [NOTE: Revert to Open Working Group language either in para. 4 of introduction to goals (as above) or target 10.2 (without migratory status). Alternatively, revert to listings in international covenants (“race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth, or other status.”) Closed listing of prohibited grounds would not be in line with sentiment of leaving no one behind.]

Insert "the elimination of gender stereotypes" after equality and "all before women and girls in first sentence. Eliminate "against women and children, both boys and girls" from last sentence. [NOTE: As evidenced by the work of the Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women as well as the Special Representative to the Secretary General on Sexual Violence in Conflict, gender-based violence is based on gender stereotypes, and can be directed at women, men, girls, boys, as well as anyone who does not conform to specific gender norms. This paragraph should not roll back this understanding and inadvertently leave out victims of violence, such as male victims of rape.]

Insert: "respecting diversity within and between countries" after 'levels of development." Eliminate "respect national policies and priorities and." Final sentences: "… levels of development, respecting diversity within and between countries. We will provide adequate policy space for economic growth, in particular for developing states." [NOTE: National policies and priorities that are incompatible with the universal and global nature of a transformative and sustainable development agenda should not be respected. This dilutes the purported universality of the goals and targets and undermines respect for international law as stated above in the declaration.]

New suggested para: "For this agenda to be truly transformative, the goals and targets we have set must deliver for everyone, including the most vulnerable sections of the population. These include children, youth, people living with disability and older people; migrants; indigenous peoples; and those targeted for exclusion due to ethnicity, race, or other social marker. People living in areas affected by conflict, terrorism and complex humanitarian emergencies are also experiencing severe challenges that the implementation of this agenda must seek to overcome. [NOTE: Any reference to vulnerable sections of the population, must be inclusive and action-oriented. The declaration should indicate that the purpose is to ensure the agenda includes and delivers for these sections.]

New suggested text: "We commit to providing quality education at all levels – early childhood, primary, secondary and tertiary. All people irrespective of age, sex, disability, culture, race, ethnicity, migratory status, religion, economic or other status, including children and youth in vulnerable situations, should have access to learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society. [NOTE: Revert to Open Working Group language either in para. 4 of introduction to goals (as above) or target 10.2 (without migratory status). Alternatively, revert to listings in international covenants (“race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth, or other status.”)]

Insert "evidence-based, inclusive, and scientifically accurate" before "information," and insert "in particular for key populations" after "epidemics," reading: "… including for family planning, evidence-based, inclusive, and scientifically accurate information and education. We will equally … and other communicable diseases and epidemics, in particular for key populations." [NOTE: Important to retain universal access to SRH. Important to ensure information and education be evidence-based, inclusive and scientifically accurate. Alternatively, add reference to target 5.6 or its content: “as agreed in accordance with the Programme of Action of the ICPD and the Beijing Platform for Action and the outcome documents of their review conferences.”]

Eliminate "financial," substitute "economic and social" before "inclusion, reading: "… productive employment, economic and social inclusion, agricultural and industrial development …." [NOTE: the inclusion sought through the vision of the OWG proposal is social and economic rather than merely financial.]

Insert "between and within all countries" before "of the world," reading "We acknowledge the natural and cultural diversity between and within all countries of the world … " [NOTE: Important to retain respect for cultural diversity, also within countries. Alternative, express cultural diversity in the context of education and respect for human rights, peace, and equality, as in target 4.7.]

Add to para 17.18 a concern for the protection of data confidentiality, reading: "… the availability of ethically gathered and stored, high-quality, time and reliable data…"

Add National Human Rights Institutions to list of stakeholders who will contribute to government progress reports.

I have gone in detail over this latest draft. It looks like a small incremental improvement has been achieved compared with what we had been given to comment on before.

But

Human rights are still regrettably a byline only despite the insistence and complaints by public interest civil society and social movements for well over a year.

I cannot believe that such an advanced draft has given so poor attention to the use of language. There are problems with syntax, with the use of action verb tenses, with language adequate for goals and sub-goals....

Moreover, I think that it remains highly aspirational to the point I sometimes think it borders naivete (if not, often, being too vague).

As worrisome, I think, is that section II Means of Implementation and the Global Partnership is terribly repetitive to the point that it can be greatly shortened.

As for details, there are many points where reductions or improvements are still left as [x] per cent.

To illustrate what I say here, I have earlier sent you the draft (without annexes) with my comments on the text on these issues (in blue font for easy and quick reference). Have a look and see if you agree with me.

Marie Stopes International

Recommend the following changes to strengthen the document:

3.1 By 2030, reduce the global maternal mortality ratio to less than 50 per 100,000 live births. (This is feasible and document needs to be ambitious).

3.7 By 2030, ensure universal access to sexual and reproductive health-care services, including contraception, safe abortion, information and education, and the integration of comprehensive reproductive health into national strategies and programmes

5.6 Ensure universal access to sexual and reproductive health and rights as agreed in accordance with the Programme of Action....

Refer to extensive consultations that have taken place, number of citizens who have been involved and 'empowering next generation' to recognise shifting population dynamics

Change 'ending all preventable deaths of infants, children and expectant mothers' to 'ending all preventable deaths of infants, children and women'

This is because not all maternal deaths are 'expectant mothers'

Change 'family planning' to contraception. The greatest unmet need exists amongst girls and young women and this term does not resonate with them.

ZIMBABWE UNITED NATIONS ASSOCIATION

The 193 member states countries have a mandate to implement the SDGs as they are on the Zero Draft. All member states should partner so as to ensure no one is left behind. The document reallzes the importance of youth participation, but not clear on the role the youth is to play.

Transforming Our World From 2016 - 2030 (Time frame should be specific) : A New Sustainable Agenda for Global Action

The New Agenda does not cover people living with disabilities, combating terrorism and nuclear weapon production and trading.

We can never end poverty, we can only reduce. Countries can not be equal due to economic status as well as size.

The international law seems to be biased toward African leaders. There is need to revise international law statutes.

The UN is now realizing the importance of every citizen in regards to development.
The International law needs to be revised.

We fully respect and support government national policy.
We encourage the government to make this policy known to everyone.
We will and we encourage our national citizens to hold all individuals responsible to this policy

Inclusion of people living with albinism (they should be separated from people living with disabilities)

We need international support in order to improve our transport system and technology to meet international standards.

Education on adaption on Climate Change.
strict regulations also on individuals, organizations that contribute to emissions.
Increase polluters tax
Promote recycling and cleaner sources of energy

UN should do follow ups on member states to follow the mandates of the Post-2015 Development Agenda as enshrined in this zero draft.
Electoral reforms to be inclusive for all cultures, customs and beliefs

After consultations at the grass root level, the National Budget should provide space for the implementation of SDGs.

We encourage the UN to mainly focus on grassroots representation and participation in Ethiopia should also encompass the grassroots.
The UN should fund the process of consulting grassroots in this process.

Focus should not just recognize, but should ensure that science and technology is on the centre of development.

Better payment schemes and reducing terms of payment for countries owing the International monetary institutions, IMF, WB

The countries with the relevant partners and stakeholder should make use of Monitoring & Evaluation Global tools
Stakeholders also should provide shadow reports
Data Collection should be correct
Systematic way of reporting

A call for Youth to now change the world.
Review and amend the Charter to suite the current status quo for a sustainable future.

Very important aspect of empowerment, and the learners should be taught relevant information which is appropriate to a particular country.

Its clearly addressing the issue of environment which is at the core of sustainable development.
strengthening awareness campaigns and effective education at early age.

Time frame for the implementation is feasible.
provision of alternatives despite cutting trees.
Promotion of the use of clean and safe energy.

Revision and revisit international debt especially for developing and least developed countries which are sunk in debt.

Most developing countries rely on tobbacco production, as it is at the core of most economical hubs.
Policies and measures to reduce tobacco use and member states to avail public space.
Promote sustainable sound agriculture and replace tobacco.

Schooling and educational visas should be acquired easily and anywhere in the world.
Teacher Pupil ratio should be reduced also.

Leading roles should start at a tender age in educational institutions.
Leadership and motivational roles should be given to women.
Culture and religion should also be analysed on how to co inhibit and promote the roles in Africa.
Strengthening Gender quality.

Strengthening the National water policies so as to meet with standards relevant to water issues.
The need for countries to comply with the water policies.
Developed countries should assist developing countries to meet the needs of the water crisis.
Openness to the water policy.

More education on solar systems as a clean form of energy especially to developing countries.
More use of bio gas.
Energy systems should be readily available and affordable to vulnerable members of society.

To address the issue of vulnerable employment.
To also highlight the issue of promoting employment rather than seeking for employment.

The educations system products should focus on innovation and sustainable ideas for better infrastructure.
Fund for innovative ideas so as to nurture, enhance and develop.
Promote the use of local materials that meet the needs of a particular developing country.

It can be reduced by promoting innovation development and industrialization so as to move at par and avoid inequalities.

The educations system products should focus on innovation and sustainable ideas for better infrastructure.
Fund for innovative ideas so as to nurture, enhance and develop.
Promote the use of local materials that meet the needs of a particular developing country.

Balancing exports and imports, and the need of accountable governance.
Policies that promote investment and fair trade in order to create sound production.

14 a, As indirect users of marines, seas etc we should learn more and develop research mechanisms so as to also contribute and enhance participation.
14 b, Small scale artisinal fishers need support

To promote religion and peaceful dialogue through active engagement and support from the Government and the United Nations.
Ensuring peaceful and inclusive initiatives.
Good Governance structures.

Global partnerships should be the first priority goal in order to create a pathway for Implementation. Clear out differences and highlight major issues of development

To avoid the dependency syndrome of volunteering with regards to incentives, but to follow up with passion especially in developing countries.

The civil society should play a key role in pushing the responsible governments to meet the deadlines and mandates of the Follow-up and review.

The UN should also consider shadow reports from NGO's to compare and contrast from the report submitted by Governments.

Regional forums should co exist with forums at the UN Headquarters. So as to allow information to pass through all its relevant stages.

Sub-regional ECOSOC Commissions should be established.
Governments without clear accountable and governance structures should not be given full mandates of leading

Policy review framework should transparent and pave way for more strategies in the implementation.

This should be feasible and implementable, and it should be the governing principle to be observed and respected by all member states in accordance to this follow up and review charts.
Translating this chart into reality.

UN Technology system should involve Rural Marginalized societies to also participate on online contributions to the UN.
Possible Technology Facilitation Mechanism should promote science education to marginalized societies and this can be effective in our MOI, Reviews and Follow ups to contribute effectively, this in turn can allow and promote transparency and accountability.
Globalization should also foster possible technology facilitation mechanism for societies that have never been in use of technology.
International Donor organizations should invest in developing countries.

Zimbabwe United Nations Association

Transforming our world starting 2016.....and its a renewed agenda because there is development on MDGs

The UN is considering the role of the youths and every citizen.The international law needs to be revised.

Checks and balances from the public should be initiated. The government should hold all individuals responsible to this policy. We will respect the national policy.

The national budget should involve the implementation of SGDs.
The UN should fund consultation of grassroots.

There is need for data collection upgrading tools.
Consistency of reporting tools.
Supporting of shadow reporting institutions.

Facilitate community based disaster management focus groups.
Strengthening of frameworks through focus groups.

The assistance should have attachments which tally with national policies.
Accountability and Transparency.

The CSOs should pay a key role in pushing the responsible governments to meet deadlines and implement these projects

regional level consultations should be open for CSOs to also present their reports as they act as watch dogs to these governments

UN to strengthen its regional offices for effective information dissemination and proper monitoring and evaluation.

Global level discussion to continue been inclusive and universal even when it comes to reporting on progress as evaluation mechanisms.

UN Technology systems should involve Rural marginalization to participate on online contributions to the UN.
Science and technology too for the marginalized societies and this can be effective in our MOI , reviews and follow ups to contribute effectively, this is turn can allow and promote transparency and accountability.
Globalization should also foster possible technology facilitation mechanisms for societies that have never been in use of technology.
International Donor organizations should invest in developing countries.

The pledge that “no one will be left behind” rings hollow if there are no plans for any special effort to make good on the promise that “by 2015, children everywhere, boys and girls alike, will be able to complete a full course of primary schooling”. Leaving it until 2030 is not acceptable.

This issue can be addressed through the following revisions to Target 4.1:

Current Target

* Target 4.1 By 2030, ensure that all girls and boys complete free, equitable and quality primary and secondary education leading to relevant and effective learning outcomes

Proposed Targets

* Target 4.1a Take immediate and effective measures to ensure that children everywhere, boys and girls alike, are able to complete a full course of primary schooling

* Target 4.1b As soon as possible, and by no later than 2030, ensure that all girls and boys complete free, equitable and quality primary and secondary education leading to relevant and effective learning outcomes

For further details on the proposed changes, please see:
http://www.childrightsnow.org/docs/Proposed-Target-4-1.pdf

Plan International welcomes the strong and inspiring language throughout the Zero Draft, setting the appropriate tone for an Agenda that hopes to be an historic global agreement to end global poverty and achieve sustainable development for all people.

This ambitious framing must be matched by ambitious commitment. Remaining discussions must significantly strengthen and deliver clear commitments on means of implementation, financing, and global partnership.

We call on all States and other stakeholders to seize this challenge and to come together to deliver these final, critical components, starting with a strong outcome document from the Financing for Development conference, recognizing the importance of investments in girls, boys, adolescents, and youth.

The rights of children and young people should be at the heart of the new SDGs. This, along with their right to participate in decisions that affect them, is not reflected in the Zero Draft until late in the Declaration and is insufficiently reflected in the rest of the document. Their role as ‘torchbearers’, recognized at the end of the Declaration, should be a central message and principle throughout all aspects of the Agenda.

See also:

Key Recommendations - https://plan-international.org/files/global/policies/external-post-2015-zero-draft-initial-reaction.pdf
Specific Language Recommendations - https://plan-international.org/files/global/policies/post-2015-zero-draft-recommended-line-edits.pdf

Plan International is concerned by the limited reference to the achievement of all human rights for all people as a critical enabler to achieving sustainable development. We call for language throughout the Agenda that reinforces the centrality of human rights to the planning, implementation, and review of progress toward the SDGs. The nine bullet point objectives of the Agenda, for example, fall short by not including explicit reference to human rights.

Specific line edits:

The new Agenda sets out, inter alia, to:
• [ADD: Realize all human rights;]
• End poverty [ADD: in all its dimensions] and hunger;
• Secure [ADD: inclusive, quality] education, health and basic services for all;
• Achieve gender equality [AMEND: , empower and realize the human rights of] all women and girls;

On behalf of the peoples we serve, we have adopted a historic agreement on a comprehensive and far-reaching set of universal goals and targets. [AMEND: When] these are realized, they will transform for the better the world in which we all live.

We recognize that poverty eradication is the greatest global challenge and an indispensable requirement for sustainable development. We intend, between now and 2030, to end poverty [ADD: in all its dimensions] and hunger once and for all; to combat inequalities; [ADD: to realize all human rights;] to ensure the lasting protection of the planet and its resources; and to create conditions for sustainable, inclusive and sustained economic growth and shared prosperity.

As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge that nobody will be left behind. We [AMEND: commit] to see the goals and targets met for all economic and social groupings.

This is a plan of action for people, planet and prosperity which also seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom. It will be implemented by all of us acting in collaborative partnership. We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty, [ADD: inequality] and want and to heal and secure our planet for [ADD: current and] future generations. We are determined to take the bold and transformative steps needed to shift the world onto a sustainable footing.

In its scope, however, the framework we are announcing today goes far beyond the MDGs. Alongside traditional development priorities such as health, education and food security and nutrition, it sets out a wide range of [ADD: social,] economic, and environmental objectives and also promises more peaceful, better governed and inclusive societies. Reflecting the integrated approach that we have agreed, there are deep interconnections and many cross-cutting elements across the new goals and targets.

...It [AMEND: reaffirms] the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and other international instruments such as the Declaration on the Right to Development [ADD: and existing human rights treaties and obligations, including International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination, International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, CEDAW, Convention against Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment, CRC, International Convention on the Protection of the Rights of All Migrant Workers and Members of Their Families, International Convention for the Protection of All Persons from Enforced Disappearance, Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.]...

...of affordable drinking water; of universal access to [AMEND: early learning, free, quality primary and secondary] education and health services; of physical, mental and social well-being. A world of universal respect for human rights and human dignity; of justice and equality; of respect for race and ethnicity; and of equal opportunity permitting the full realization of human [ADD: rights and] potential while promoting shared prosperity. A world in which every woman and girl enjoys full gender equality and all barriers to [ADD: the achievement of their human rights] and empowerment in our societies have been removed. [ADD: A world where children and young people are active and invited participants in decisions that affect them and their communities.]...

...In doing so, we reaffirm our commitment to international law and emphasize that the Agenda will be implemented in a manner that [AMEND: promotes and upholds] the human rights and obligations of states under international law.

This is an Agenda which encompasses all human rights and will promote dignity for all human beings. It will work to ensure that fundamental rights and freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on grounds of race, colour, sex, [ADD: age,] language, religion, culture, [ADD: ethnicity], migratory status, political or other opinion, national or social origin, economic situation, birth or disability.

Working for gender equality, [ADD: the realization of human rights,] and the empowerment of women and girls will make a crucial contribution to progress across all the goals and targets. The achievement of full human potential and of sustainable development is not possible if one half of humanity continues to be denied its full rights and opportunities. This is also a basic issue of human rights. Women and girls must enjoy equal access to education [ADD: and health,] and equal opportunities for [ADD: participation and] employment with men and boys. All forms of gender inequality, gender-based discrimination and violence against women and children, both boys and girls, will be combatted.

...We will at the same time take into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development. [ADD: Although we are all starting at different points on this journey, we commit to the same end goals.] We will respect national policies and priorities and provide adequate policy space for economic growth, in particular for developing states....

Each country faces specific challenges in its pursuit of sustainable development. The most vulnerable countries and, in particular, African countries, least developed countries, landlocked developing countries and small island developing states deserve special attention, as do countries in situations of conflict [ADD: and natural disasters]. There are also serious challenges within many middle-income countries.

Vulnerable sections of the population whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets include [AMEND: girls, boys, adolescents,] youth, people living with disability and older people; the needs of others who are vulnerable, such as migrants, [ADD: ethnic, religious, and linguistic minorities,] and indigenous peoples, are also reflected. People living in areas affected by conflict, terrorism and complex humanitarian emergencies are also experiencing severe challenges.

We [ADD: recognise the centrality of education to achieving this entire Agenda and] commit to providing [AMEND: equal access to a quality and inclusive education for all] at all levels - early [AMEND: learning,] primary, secondary and tertiary, [ADD: including through non-formal education]. All people irrespective of gender, race, ethnicity [ADD: or income,] including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children and youth in vulnerable situations, should have access to [ADD: quality] learning, that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society.

To extend life expectancy for all, we must achieve universal health coverage [ADD: and ensure all people receive health services required without suffering financial hardship.] No one must be left behind. We commit to accelerating the progress made to date in reducing infant, child and maternal mortality by ending all preventable deaths of infants, children and expectant mothers by 2030. We shall ensure universal access to sexual and reproductive health [AMEND: and rights, including health care services such as, voluntary] family planning, information and [ADD: comprehensive sexuality] education....

...We will therefore adopt policies which increase productivity and productive employment, financial inclusion, agricultural and industrial development, sustainable transport systems and modern energy provision, [ADD: whilst ensuring respect for planetary boundaries].

...Governments, international organizations, the business sector, other non-state actors and individuals must contribute to [AMEND: ending] unsustainable consumption and production patterns.

...And we will work to minimize the impact of cities on the global climate system. [ADD: Our cities and urban areas need to be safe, especially for vulnerable groups such as girls, boys, adolescents, and youth.]

Sustainable development cannot be realized without peace. The new Agenda recognizes the need to build peaceful, just and inclusive societies, based on respect, [AMEND: protection, and fulfilment of all] human rights (including the right to development), the rule of law and effective, [ADD: transparent] and accountable institutions. These are fundamental requirements for the achievement of sustainable development. Factors which give rise to violence, insecurity and injustice, such as corruption, [ADD: discrimination,] and poor governance, are addressed in the Agenda....

We recognize the intrinsic value of diversity, culture and sport as enablers of sustainable development. We acknowledge the natural and cultural diversity of the world and recognize that all cultures and civilizations can contribute to sustainable development. We pledge to foster inter-cultural understanding, tolerance, mutual respect and an ethic of global citizenship and shared responsibility, [ADD: particularly for girls, boys, adolescents, and youth.]

...Business, the private sector, philanthropic organizations, [ADD: NGOs, and communities themselves] will feature prominently in relation to resource mobilization and implementation of the Agenda.

...This Partnership will work in a spirit of global solidarity, in particular solidarity with the poorest and the vulnerable [ADD: and will be underpinned by the principles of accountability and human rights.] It will facilitate an intensive global engagement in support of implementation of the goals and targets, bringing together Governments, the private sector, civil society, the United Nations system and other actors, [ADD: including communities themselves,] and mobilizing all available resources. Inclusive multi-stakeholder partnerships, [ADD: including the meaningful participation of girls, boys, adolescents, and youth,] will be needed to support specific priorities under the Agenda and to mobilize the requisite resources.

We emphasize more generally the critical importance of engaging all [DELETE: relevant] stakeholders in implementation of the new Agenda. Governments and public institutions will work closely in this regard with national parliaments, local authorities, international institutions, business and the private sector, civil society, academia, philanthropic organizations, voluntary groups and [AMEND: critically, communities themselves, including those most likely to be left out such as girls, boys, adolescents, youth, and people with disabilities.]

We look forward to the development of indicators to assist this work. Quality disaggregated data will be needed to help with the measurement of progress, [ADD: in particular to achieve our commitment to leave no one behind]. We agree to intensify our efforts to strengthen statistical capacities in [ADD: all countries, including] developing countries, particularly least developed countries and other countries in special situations. We also commit to scaling up substantially public-private [ADD: and civil society] cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information [ADD: and data from third-party sources,] in supporting and tracking progress.

"We the Peoples" are the celebrated opening words of the UN Charter. It is "We the Peoples" who are embarking today on the road to 2030. Our journey will involve Governments, Parliaments, local authorities, business and the private sector, the scientific and academic community, civil society - and [AMEND: all people]. Millions have already engaged with, and will own, this agenda. It is an agenda by and for the people -and this, we believe, will ensure its success.

We recognise that each country has primary responsibility for its own economic, [ADD: environmental,] and social development and that the role of national policies and development strategies cannot be overemphasised. At the same time, national development efforts need to be supported by an enabling international economic environment.

We will ensure [ADD: adequate financing of this agenda to ensure its success by securing] significant mobilization of resources from a variety of sources and create sound policy frameworks to support accelerated investment in this Agenda.

...We will seek to increase significantly the availability of high-quality, timely and reliable disaggregated data, including by [AMEND: sex, race, ethnicity, age, marital status, geographical location and income] in support of the Agenda and its means of implementation.

Successful implementation will also depend on the resources, knowledge and ingenuity of business, civil society, the scientific community, academia, research institutions, philanthropists and foundations, parliaments, local authorities, volunteers, [ADD: local communities, including vulnerable groups such as girls, boys, adolescents, and youth,] and other stakeholders....

A robust, effective, inclusive and transparent follow-up and review framework, operating at the national, regional and global levels, will promote effective implementation of this Agenda and accountability to our [AMEND: people].

All member states will engage voluntarily in review processes, taking into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development and respecting national policies and priorities. As national ownership is key to achieving sustainable development, outcomes from national-level processes will inform reviews at both regional and global levels. [ADD: All member states are strongly encouraged to participate in the review process in order to increase learning and accountability.]

...c. They will be open, inclusive, [ADD: participatory, and responsive,] supported by an enabling environment for the participation of all people and stakeholders, [ADD: including girls, boys, adolescents, and youth.]
d. They will build on existing platforms and processes, [ADD: including human rights monitoring mechanisms,] evolve over time and minimize the reporting burden on national administrations.
e. They will be rigorous and evidence-based, informed by data which is timely, reliable and disaggregated by income, [AMEND: sex], age group, race, ethnicity, migratory status, disability, geographic location and other characteristics relevant in national contexts. Support for developing countries, particularly LDCs, to strengthen national data systems is critical.

Building on existing reporting and planning instruments, such as national sustainable development strategies, we encourage all member states to develop, [ADD: via transparent, accessible and participatory processes,] ambitious national [AMEND: commitments and objectives in response] to the SDGs and targets as soon as possible.

...based on a publicly available government progress report and complemented by [AMEND: alternative reports] from civil society, academia, local government [ADD: and communities,] the UN system, private sector ... such as National Sustainable Development Councils, [ADD: National Human rights Institutions,] and local authorities. [ADD: These reports should be publically available in formats and languages accessible to all vulnerable groups, including children, youth, people with disabilities, and those belonging to minority ethnic and linguistic groups.]

...Reviews will be voluntary, while encouraging reporting [ADD: and constructive participation by all countries,] and include developed and developing countries as well as relevant UN entities. They shall be State- led, involving ministerial and other relevant high-level participants. They shall focus on assessment of progress, achievements and challenges faced by developed and developing countries, and provide a platform for partnerships, including through the participation of [AMEND: civil society] and other relevant stakeholders.

Follow-up and reviews at the HLPF would be informed by [ADD: a national stakeholder report and] the Global Sustainable Development Report, the scope and methodology of which will be agreed as soon as possible. An annual SDG Progress Report will be prepared by the UN Inter Agency and Expert Group on SDG indicators, based on data from national statistical systems [ADD: and third-party data sources.]

In line with Resolution 67/290, the HLPF will [ADD: adopt the modalities for the enhanced participation of stakeholders and] support meaningful participation in follow up and review processes by civil society, the major groups, the UN System, relevant multi-stakeholder partnerships, the private sector and other stakeholders.

NGO: Amis des Etrangers au Togo (ADET)

Thank you for the hard work you have done. We think that many things we need for this document is well fund but we need some inpout to strengthen it. Ex:
Chapter I intoduction
Chapter II Sustainable development Goals and Targets
Chapter III Mean of implemention and Global Partnership
Chapter IV Follow-up and review

Transforming our world to be better.
A New Agenda for Global Action

From 1 january 2016 to 2030 enhance scientific research, upgrade the
technological capabilities of industrial sectors in all
countries, in particular developing countries, including, by
2030, encouraging innovation and substantially increasing
the number of research and development workers and public and private
research and development spending

Developed countries must implement fully their official development assistance commitments, including to provide 0.7 per cent
of gross national income in official development assistance to developing
countries, of which at least 0.15 to 0.20 per cent of GNI should be provided
to least developed countries,in line with the Istanbul Programme of Action.

Good
but A robust, effective, inclusive and transparent follow-up and review framework, operating at the national (like a group of 5 persons: 1 National deputy, 1 jurist,1 from the Sustainable Develompent administrative , 1 form CIVICUS or HLPF member, 1 from the UN focal point), regional and global level, will promote effective implementation of this Agenda and accountability to our citizens
.

Good but note:

Annex 1: Food for thought paper on a possible Technology Facilitation Mechanism

Annex 2: Introduction of the Open Working Group Proposal for
Sustainable development goals and targets

Although some mentioned goals in new agenda are overambitious but I hope to reach them for "Transforming Our World"

This is an extraordinary opportunity for world and I think this is a great idea. Strongly I support.

Ambitious goals in every universal plan and policies are very important. No program without an capacity upsurge has fast progression. But, one thing should not be forgotten and that is the difference between ambitious goals and overambitious vision. If the distance is to be increased, on the one hand there may be unfair and critical views and on the other hand tends to the frustration of the program performers and authorities in national and regional levels.

Poverty reduction is the goal of all human. I think, eradication of the poverty is an overambitious target. We should seek to promote poverty reduction programs with targeted planning with clear objectives, so that we are not accused of slogans

I think so. Some targets of MDSs were successfully accepted and we saw the valuable achievements likes reducing the new HIV infection and expanding HIV treatment coverage. Although defects and deficiencies existed and should be considered in post 2015 program. We should remember that several external factors like political issues, disasters, complex emergencies, wars and even climate changes can affect the sustainable development. Many of mentioned factors are unpredictable.

This is an important step because imagine the backward countries, a factor that can be a barrier to people who want to progress. Traditional country division into rich and poor is an obvious discrimination.

This agenda is the highest human desire and is a move forward to global peace. Is very valuable.

Special attention to refugees and Immigrants, specially those who obligatory leave their countries is very important and should be strongly considered.

In universal health coverage, quality of services should be specially considered. In addition to mentioned disease, other diseases and co-morbidity that restrictively link to them should be considered like addiction, viral hepatitis and STIs. All details should be considered.
On the other hand, climate changes tends to spread some disease that closely links with poverty, sanitation problems and increasing urbanization.
All above have have negative impacts on communicable diseases.

Youth unemployment is a critical situation in all countries especially in developing countries. Many of them are highly educated.
Promoting youth employment should be considered in detail through the world.

This is very important and complicated issue and should be considered in detail and very clear.

TOBAV Turkish TheatreOpera Ballet foundation

We are supporting all items and the items which has not placed at the document yet, as a a world campain for the new enlightenment of the world society.That means we wish you to suggest world wide YES TO ART campain which combines all those items and the related items as making life as an art quality.That can also called as a "living life as an art". I am sure, whenever you will put the zero drafts items and other suggetions under this title, that can be a theme of policy for enlighenment of the new millenium.Then we can build up the working stragedy,wokshops,public relations,creating volunteers,all media connections and official connections with the goverments, through non govermental organisations.

This is the expectation of the world in this milenium. İf it will be possible to make a concensus as a world wide campain under the name of YES TO ART philosphy, İt will be necesary to design Global Action as a campain and it's reasons as a public expectations from life and its quality.

Human created solutions after big desasters.Ronesance was one of the beginning.Then it has been take places in our lifes as an expectation of better life and its quality.After every world war and disaster human wanted to create new and better life.İt seems in this millenium we need it again.

Society for the Psychological Study of Social Issues

We are resolved ADD "to promote the fufillment of human rights," to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty and want, and to heal and secure our planet for present and future generations.

4. After “social groupings” at the end of this sentence, add a comma and “including those groupings recognized by all human rights instruments.”

This section should include the core human rights instruments as the foundation of our commitments and shared principles. Therefore,

11. In the third line after “international” insert “human rights” and after “such as” insert “the International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination (ICERD), the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), the International Covenant on Economic, Social, and Cultural Rights (ICESC), the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR), the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC), and” before “the Declaration on the Right to Development.

Our World Today

This section should recognize the structural and systemic bases of disparities. Therefore,

12. At the end of the second sentence, after “power” add “rooted in structural historic and contemporary human rights violations including discriminatory laws and practices which result in social and economic disparities .”

15. Add “Our collective vision for the world in 2030 must be one wherein we have made significant progress in achieving the SDGs through the removal of all structural and systemic impediments to their fulfillment.” Before “We envisage a world free of poverty, hunger, disease and want..."

Retain this paragraph with the addition following INCLUDING

22. We commit to providing quality education at all levels – early childhood, primary, secondary and tertiary. All people irrespective of gender, race or ethnicity, including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, INCLUDING "children, youth, adults and older persons" in vulnerable situations, should have access to learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society.

Retain this paragraph with the recommended additions within quotation marks.
23.To extend life expectancy for all, we must achieve universal health coverage “for physical and mental health services”. No one must be left behind... At the same time we shall devote greater effort to tackling non-communicable diseases, add “including mental illness.”

27. We call attention to the importance of recognizing and planning for both infrastructural and psychosocial resilience. Therefore, in the last line of this paragraph, insert “infrastructural and psychosocial” “resilience and disaster preparedness.”

3.Add the second sentence.
We will ensure significant mobilization of resources from a variety of sources and create sound policy frameworks to support accelerated investment in this Agenda. "We will emphasize the significance of promoting an ongoing process of human rights learning by individuals and groups at all levels and in all sectors of society as an essential enabler of the successful implementation and realization of the sustainable development goals (SDGs) and targets.”

Consistent with the human rights Non-Discrimination Principle, we recommend that Follow-up and review processes include section, 3e on disaggregation data, which should be retained as follows:

3e. “They will be rigorous and evidence-based, informed by data which is timely, reliable and disaggregated by income, gender, age, race, ethnicity, migratory status, disability, geographic location and other characteristics relevant in national contexts. Support for developing countries, particularly LDCs, to strengthen national data systems is critical.”

Other Recommendations

I. We support the OHCHRi calling for “identifying strong indicators that measure the (elimination) of inequalities, the elimination of discriminatory laws, policies and practices, and equity in global governance of development”(22 April 2015).

II. The indicators for all relevant goals and targets (especially Goals 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11, 12, 13, and 16) shall include a disaggregation of data based on race and ethnicity.

Other Recommendations

III. Indicators should include Human Rights Compliance Data.

!V. Encourage All countries including Developing and LDCs to enter into GENUINE multistakeholder partnerships.

V.Include opportunities for national, regional, and international civil society organizations to submit reports on progress of the SDGs. r

International Fertilizer Industry Association

Overall, the outcome document is balanced and well-informed on scientific issues pertaining to the fertilizer industry. We are pleased that input (comments, consultations and irect participation in negotiations)from the private sector in general and of our industry in particular have been well taken into account and are reflected in the document.

We commend a stand-alone goal on food security and malnutrition (Goal 2: End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition, and promote sustainable agriculture) with a very clear reference to access to inputs:
2.3 by 2030 double the agricultural productivity and the incomes of small-scale food producers, particularly women, indigenous peoples, family farmers, pastoralists and fishers, including through secure and equal access to land, other productive resources and inputs, knowledge, financial services, markets, and opportunities for value addition and non-farm employment

The fertilizer industry also commends the goal targeting land degradation and desertification (Goal 15: Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss) 15.3 by 2020, combat desertification, and restore degraded land and soil, including land affected by desertification, drought and floods, and strive to achieve a land-degradation neutral world.
This goal ensures that soils and soil fertility will be recognized as priority issues and as fundamentals of economic growth and sustainable development.

Expert with women's Major group, YPFP ambassador, SEEP network champion member

I think the title is general and contain main means in the same time, it is not focused and target in one principal idea.

it is short , so why we can start to develop more idea when we are talking about environmental and poverty challenges that can be developed in the first paragraph. Then, after the main goals , we can add some sentences explaining how we can achieve this goals briefly. In addition, why not starting by describing the content of the document.

The point 8, we can add" The SDGs can benefit from both the successes and the shortfalls of the MDGs. The SDGs are important and could help finally to move the world to a sustainable trajectory. The SDGs might have three bottom lines (economic, social and environmental pillars), but achievement of any of them is likely to need concerted global efforts to achieve all of them. There is a shared global understanding of the urgency of addressing the many comingled economic, social and environmental issues standing in the way of sustainable development".

The point 9 , we can add " we need to think to sustainable development in systematic way and trying to analyzing inter-linkages relationship between goals".

Can we change "the principle of common but differentiated responsibilities" by "the principle of common and differentiated responsibilities".

We can add "there is inequalities and disparities between states". Then, when you talk about challenges, it is possible to add women's human rights as discrimination against women, poverty and food safety, conflictual situation and difficult peace process to be established in some countries, etc.

In this sense the sustainable development goals is considered as an interconnected system and approach to implementation must be holistic, multi-sectoral and multi-stakeholder.

Very interesting paragraph just we need to add «we need to protect child rights against labor force discrimination"

We can add "women have the right to be financially autonomous and economically empowered independently of any cultural and social constraints".

we can add" Not every strategy is appropriate for all countries, and the capacity of States to advance sustainable development differs according to their size and level of development".

The world reflected is used in tow time, perhaps it is easier to reformulate the sentences as "Vulnerable sections of the population whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets include:
children, youth, people living with disability and older people; the needs of others vulnerable people as migrants and indigenous peoples , people living in area affected by conflict, terrorism and complex humanitarian emergencies, etc.

We can reformulate «should have access to free education system especially in primary school for those living in least developed countries". Then, the accessibility to education, new learning process and training give them the opportunity to participate fully in the society".

we can add" The ultimate goal of promoting of the consumption and sustainable production is to make possible decoupling of economic growth and social progress and also the environmental degradation ".

we can add "With ecological prudence, social equity and economic efficiency, governance generally understood is often presented as one the main key for Adapting governance for better promotion of sustainable development".
we can add " we need to fight corruption and bad quality of institution due path-dependency process , as a result of the accumulation of unacceptable habits and the manipulation of social and cultural behavior".

We can add" In post-2015 world, ODA and domestic resources mobilization will remain essential to accelerating economic growth and lifting people from extreme poverty, particularly where private investment remains limited. Because, the private corporations are primarily profit-focused, and therefore should not be relied upon to achieve development. In addition, all available grant funding need to be used as effectively as possible and ODA must be target increasingly to crowd in other funding resources".

We can add, "we need to support the idea that Technology transfer is a major means of implementation and a pillar of global partnership and cooperation. We also recommend that technology facilitation mechanism could be considered .Thus , some solutions can be offered as : some exemptions to intellectual property right rules in order to be able to develop endogenous technologies, innovations and services related to sustainability, the need for cooperation on technology and intellectual property rights to reduce the dependency on technology . We encourage also and support research and development by offering innovation incentives and that cooperation, transfer and development on technologies can strengthen environmental sustainability ".

We can add " we need to focused more and more on the need of more open and free trade system where trade rules must produce positive social, economic and environmental impacts. There is a call for more open, non-discriminatory, equitable, multilateral trading system.
we need to think more to the use of TRIPS flexibility impacting the public health needs and the social pillar of sustainable development as : trade agreements must not supersede national constitutions and legislation, multilateral mechanisms must subject investors and transnational corporations to legally binding norms and standards, trade regulations must be reformed, there are some prohibit trade that handicap the capacity of the state to regulate foreign investors in the best interest of the government.

we can add" Indicators must be gender dis-aggregated, consensus-based, universal, and managed , designated by all the stakeholders with clear links to each target. In addition, more effort is needed to develop indicators that make sense at local scales. In this sense, engaging local stakeholders, citizen groups, including marginalized communities is needed. Baseline conditions, determined with local and global data, need to be established also. In addition, the des-aggregation by thematic to achieve the SDGs must be addressed across a broad range of sectors and thematic areas and there is a need for improving the systematic collection, dissemination and analysis of statistics ,data and information dis-aggregated by sex and age, etc".

perhaps , we need to reformulate the world events in the sentence " reduce their exposure and vulnerability to climate-related extreme events" by disasters. And then write only "and other economic, social and environmental shocks".

we can reformulate " By 2020, reduce by halve the number of global deaths and injuries from road traffic accidents"

we can reformulate " By 2030, increase by [x] per cent the number of youth and adults who have relevant skills, including technical and vocational skills, professional training for employment, decent jobs and entrepreneurship for more creative and innovative projects".

we can add" we can develop an exchange of competences between countries to facilitate the knowledge transfer and skills"

we can add" Respecting and supporting children’s rights with greater
awareness of the links between business and human rights and protect young people’s physical, mental and emotional health and well-being that can be permanently affected"

In addition, we can also add " a policy mix combining various measures as: to increase availability and simplify the use of tax incentives for R&D, to take into account the innovation cycle and strong inter-linkages between spheres of national system of innovation; to increase their financial and structural efforts; to help entrepreneurs strengthen their scientific specialization, technological and industrial development; to introduce reforms in patent and market promotion of intellectual property; etc.

it is a lot to have common worlds in the same sentences as "deforestation, rafforestation and reforestation", perhaps we need to reformulate. they haven't the same sense, but the same sound.

the use of the world of implementation in two time is a lot i think , we can add "Successful mainstreaming of the SDGs and targets require an ambitious......".

Each country has its own identity and area of autonomy and each strategies differs according to its size and level of development.

we can add "mobilization of resources from a variety of sources" by "is what actions are needed to scale up mobilization of financial resources from all sources (domestic public financing, domestic private financing, international public financing including ODA, international private financing (FDI), etc).

we need to leave the model of that "the private corporations are primarily profit-focused. It is a time for a new model of business."

"There is a need for more open and free trade system. And that trade rules must produce positive social, economic and environmental impacts.There is a need for the full use of TRIPS flexibility impacting the public health needs and the social pillar of sustainable development. In addition, trade regulations need be reformed, there are some prohibit trade that handicap the capacity of the state to regulate foreign investors in the best interest of the government."

we can reformulate the sentence " Enhance the use of enabling technology, in particular information and communications technology, to promote the empowerment of women" by " enhance the creation and the use of enabling technology in sustainable way to promote women's economic empowerment".

we can reformulate "Support and strengthen the participation of local communities in improving water's quality and accessibility by offering and managing sanitation services".

the first sentense need to be reformulated because the use of world energy is a lot and also we can say resilient infrastructure.

we can add "to strengthen national data systems is critical and to be harmonized with international norms and rules".

we can add "sustainable development pillars are start to be incorporated into many national development plans , translation into practice still remain a challenge"

I think the last two paper about possible technology facilitation Mechanism" are containing the main information needed. we can add :
"Technology transfer is a major means of implementation and a pillar of global partnership and cooperation. Thus, the public financing and transfer of appropriate technology by developed countries to developing countries are the key components of means of implementation. And that technology facilitation mechanism could be considered. There is a need of independent governance of technology. There is a need for cooperation on technology and intellectual property rights to reduce the dependency on technology imports and purchases. Supporting research and development and innovation incentives in developing countries need development."

1) Christian Aid welcomes the prominence of ‘leave no one behind’. This should be retained and strengthened, including in follow-up and review. 2) Christian Aid welcomes the emphasis on gender equality, including the stand-alone bullet point within the co-facilitators’ introduction. We would like to see this strengthened in the declaration with reference to women’s rights and social norms. There should also be a stand-alone paragraph on financing for gender equality under the MOI section. 3) References to climate change and sustainability should be strengthened in the political declaration. There should be reference to ensuring global average temperature rise stays well below 2 degrees (with a preference for 1.5), references to sustainable energy and clear articulation of the ‘green thread’ – the new agenda should drive low-carbon, climate resilient development and address disaster risk. Economic growth should, throughout, be accompanied by the word ‘sustainable’. 4) Christian Aid understands that the text drafted under MOI is a ‘place-holder’ for Addis. The final text on MOI should incorporate strong paragraphs on tax and illicit financial flows, climate-smart development finance, private sector reporting and accountability, and financing for gender equality. 5) The section on ‘Follow-Up and Review’ is still too tentative. There should be a clear recommendation on peer review, and reference to ‘stepping stone equity targets’ in national plans to ensure that no one is left behind.

- Christian Aid welcomes the attempt by the co-facilitators to communicate the scope of the new agenda through the ‘5 P’s’, expanded by the 9 bullet points and the ‘leave no one behind’ principle.

- We welcome inclusion of a stand-alone bullet point on gender equality and suggest a slight change in language: Achieve gender equality, empower and realise the human rights of all women and girls.

- We welcome inclusion of a stand-alone bullet point on combating inequality, within and between countries.

- We are concerned that the environmental dimension is siloed and would like to see the following changes:
• Secure education, health, water and sanitation, sustainable energy and basic services for all
• Foster inclusive, sustainable, economic growth, shared prosperity and sustainable consumption and production

The importance of sustainable growth (rather than sustained growth) within planetary boundaries, must be articulated throughout the document. This requires a change to paragraph 3 and paragraph 13.

We strongly welcome paragraph 4. The ‘leave no one behind’ principle could be more clearly stated with language that, no goal or target should be considered met unless met for all economic and social groups.

We welcome the language in paragraph 12 recognising the enormous disparities of opportunity, wealth and power. We would like to see gender also referenced here, with the following text: Far too little progress has been made towards gender equality and the realisation of women’s rights, and gender-based violence remains endemic.

We urge the following amendment to paragraph 15: A world, for example, of safe and nutritious food; of affordable drinking water; of access to clean energy; of universal access to basic education; of physical, mental and social well-being.

We urge the following additions to list in paragraph 17: age, ethnicity, caste, HIV status, marital status, sexual orientation.

We propose (and also see below due to space): Working for gender equality, the empowerment and human rights of women and girls is critical for sustainable development and ... targets. It is also a basic issue of human rights. The achievement ... opportunities. To realise the rights of women and girls, fundamental changes are required. Women and girls must enjoy equal access to education, an equal voice in all levels of decision-making, access to health services, including sexual and reproductive health and rights, have full access to and control over economic resources, and equal ... combatted.

Para 18 continued: In order to address the deep rooted nature of gender inequality, this agenda will seek to tackle structural barriers including prevailing social norms and attitudes. It will ensure that the underlying economic model works for women and girls, and that the most disadvantaged women and girls are not left behind.

Paragraph 19 should be amended as follows: We will respect national policies and priorities and provide adequate policy space for economic, including fiscal decision-making, in particular for developing states. ‘Fiscal space’ should also be referenced in paragraph 35.

The environmental dimension must be strengthened in paragraph 24. We suggest the following language:

We will seek to build strong economic foundations for all our countries. We will work to build equitable, resilient, low-carbon and people-centred economies, promoting youth employment in particular and decent work for all. All countries stand to benefit from having a healthy and well-educated workforce with the knowledge and skills needed for productive and fulfilling work and full participation in society. We will therefore adopt policies which increase productivity and productive employment, financial inclusion, agricultural and industrial development, sustainable transport systems and modern, sustainable, energy provision.

Paragraph 26 should be strengthened in relation to disaster risk:
We recognize that sustainable urban development and management are crucial to the quality of life of our people and reduction of disaster risk. We will work with local authorities and communities to renew, plan and build our cities so as to foster community cohesion and personal security and to stimulate innovation and employment. We will reduce the negative impacts of urban activities, including through the safe management and use of chemicals, the reduction and recycling of waste and more efficient use of water and energy. And we will work to minimize the climate change impact of cities and ensure that cities are climate and disaster resilient.

We propose: We are determined to address decisively the threat posed by climate change and environmental degradation, and to ensure that this new agenda drives low-carbon and climate resilient development. Without rapid action to reduce global carbon emissions and to keep global average temperature rise well below 2 degrees, sustainable development will be undermined and the poorest, most vulnerable communities will be hit hardest. The global...... emissions, with the long-term goal of a fully renewable energy future for all by 2050. Looking ahead to the COP 21 conference in Paris in December, we underscore the historic responsibility of all States to work for an ambitious, equitable and legally binding climate agreement which will underpin the achievement of a sustainable world...

We suggest the following changes to paragraph 30:
….a wide range of other supportive policies and measures, including systemic changes at the global level. Business..... resource mobilization, accountability and implementation of the Agenda.

There should be a strong stand-alone paragraph on DRM and we suggest: Maximising the domestic resources available for investment in sustainable development and the achievement of human rights including the rights of women and girls, must be a priority for this agenda. In particular, this agenda will drive action to stem illicit financial flows including tax evasion and avoidance, which limit the revenues available for tackling poverty, inequality and addressing climate change. Fiscal policy will be a critical tool and applied in a progressive way, essential in achieving greater equality, including gender equality.

We suggest the following amendments to paragraph 36 to emphasise the principle of accountability:
This Partnership will work in a spirit of global solidarity, in particular solidarity with the poorest and the vulnerable, and will be underpinned by the principles of accountability and human rights. It will facilitate an intensive global engagement in support of implementation of the goals and targets, bringing together Governments, the private sector, civil society, the United Nations system and other actors in mobilizing all available resources, and ensuring that their activities and ways of operating, support rather than undermine, the sustainable development agenda.

Paragraph 37 should include a reference to women’s rights organisations and faith-based organisations.

We would suggest the following changes to paragraph 41:

Today we are taking a decision of comparable significance. Our generation must be the first to achieve an end to poverty and to put development on a truly sustainable and climate-safe path.

GENERAL feedback on targets:
We welcome the decision taken by the co-facilitators not to cite the OWG reservations in this document.

Our view is that technical improvements should now be limited to those proposed by the co-facilitators and we would accept those changes which do not weaken ambition (e.g. through a date change).

Amend paragraph 2: Targets are defined as aspirational and global, with each government, through a participatory process, setting its own national targets…

Feedback on paragraph 3 (no space has been given for this).

The outcome document should clearly state that global indicators should be agreed upon to measure all targets, including their component parts. We would therefore suggest the following text amendment to paragraph 3:

This framework will be simple yet robust, address all SDGs and, targets, and their component parts, and preserve the political balance and ambition contained therein. The indicators will aim to measure agreed outcomes, and where relevant, the way in which these outcomes will be achieved.

General point on MOI:
We hope that the Addis outcome will result in specific language on financing for gender equality, including references to gender-budgeting and support for women’s rights organisations, which will be prominently integrated into the Post-2015 Outcome Document.

There is also no reference to tax and we propose amending para 5 as below.

DRM will continue to be crucial and efforts to maximize domestic resources must be supported by global cooperation and action to address illicit financial flows, including tax evasion and avoidance. Fiscal policy will be a critical tool and applied in a progressive way, essential in achieving greater equality, including gender equality. We acknowledge the power and reach of financial inclusion. We note also the potential of private finance, especially the domestic private sector, and we call on businesses to ‘do no harm’, meet their environmental and human rights obligations, and apply...

As a general point on follow-up and review, we would like to see stronger language and clearer proposals in areas such as peer review. Words such as could should be replaced by should.

We would like to see the following addition under paragraph 3b and paragraph 3c:
They will maintain a longer-term orientation, identify achievements and critical success factors, support countries in establishing ‘stepping-stone’ equity targets, making informed policy choices and mobilize the necessary means of implementation and partnerships; They will be open and inclusive, supported by an enabling environment for the participation of all people and stakeholders, including women and girls.

Proposed amendment: Each member state should, at least once every four years.... actors. This review should include an assessment of outcomes for all economic and social groups, including women and girls, to ensure that no one is being left behind. The review should also establish shorter-term ‘stepping-stone’ equity targets. National Parliaments should play an important role in review processes as well as other national institutions such as National Sustainable Development Councils and local authorities.

We note that in paragraph 10 there is a proposal for the functional commissions of ECOSOC to undertake thematic reviews and align with the cycle and work of the HLPF. This is a proposal which we would support in relation to the Commission on the Status of Women.

Paragraph 11 will be amended after Addis but Christian Aid would like to stress the importance of maintaining a space for thematic review and expertise on financing for development. This could then feed into the HLPF as will e.g. the functional commissions of ECOSOC.

A strong and comprehensive agenda, which challenges all countries, independent of their income status equally to improve the development status for all of its citizens, especially the more vulnerable groups in society.

The title seems a little too action focused and doesn't really express the desired outcome of higher levels of development for all, a more inclusive, connected and equal society society between and within countries. The first line of the preamble gives a hint at what I think would be a more ambitious title: "a plan of action for people, planet and prosperity that seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom.". Alternatively, the phrasing used "nobody will be left behind" (page 2) might be a good phrasing for the ambition

Although there is nothing technically incorrect in paragraph 8, the tone is defensive and downbeat. It would be important to note that the agenda, which was defined as too optimistic has largely been achieved and the world leaders, proud on this achievement, are looking to build on this incredible success for the future.

It is fair to say that not only do challenges require integrated solutions but also innovations (new ways of working, better tools and products created through science/R&D work). Therefore we suggest to add the word innovation here:
These challenges are interrelated and call for integrated solutions as well as innovation.

The importance of science and R&D for (economic and social) development cannot be underestimated. therefore we suggest to add four words to the last sentence:

We will therefore adopt policies which increase productivity and productive employment, financial inclusion, agricultural and industrial development, science and appropriate technology, sustainable transport systems and
modern energy provision.

Transfer of all technologies is important, including access to healthcare, financial etc technologies. We also need to focus on other technologies so suggest:
We recognize that these will require the mobilization of financial resources (both public and private, domestic and international) as well as capacity-building, the transfer of appropriate technologies and a wide range of other supportive policies and measures

We welcome the support the following key components:

1. The commitment to leave no one behind as a guiding principle and the desire to see ‘that goals and targets are met by all social and economic groupings’. This should be strengthened by a commitment to put the furthest behind first so that action for the most disadvantaged and marginalized groups is prioritized. Member States should adopt national interim equity targets or ‘stepping stone’ targets to ensure disadvantaged groups are on track to achieve 2030 targets.

2. The commitment to end poverty, combat inequalities and protect the planet. However, language in the Zero Drafts needs to be strengthened in order to represent an urgent call to action which balances the historic nature of the agenda with the unprecedented need for immediate action.

3. The emphasis on the universal nature of the agenda - ‘accepted by, and applicable to, all’. Member States should ensure there is a greater ‘people-centred’ approach in the narrative that recognizes the meaningful participation and contribution of all people, including children and young people.

4. The commitment to finish the job, and fill the gaps, of the MDGs. We welcome commitments to improve the quality of and access to education and health services as well as commitments to end violence against children, improve disaster risk reduction, and build peaceful and inclusive societies with effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels.

The title of the document should be more representative of the vision for 2030 and the overarching objective to eradicate poverty, for example ‘Ending Poverty in Our Generation: A Plan for Global Action’.

Overarching comments on the Declaration and Preamble:

The Declaration must represent an urgent call to action, balancing the historic nature of the agenda with the unprecedented need for, and commitment to, action.

The language in the outcome document must better reflect what is at stake with the success or failure of the agenda, for both people and planet. ‘Ifs' and ‘intends’ must be replaced with a strong collective commitment to urgently implement the agenda.

The tone of voice should be active rather than passive throughout the document to emphasize Member States firm commitment to the agenda.

The language used throughout the document should reflect Member State’s determination to implement the agenda and the scale and urgency of the challenges ahead.

Para. 1 should be modified to be the following.

1. We, the Heads of State and Government of the 193 member States of the United Nations, meeting in New York from 25-27 September 2015 as the Organization celebrates its seventieth anniversary, have agreed today on [DELETE 'new global goals', ADD 'a new global plan'] of action for the sustainable development of humanity and [ADD 'the survival of'] our planet.

Para. 2 should be modified to be the following:

2. On behalf of the peoples we serve, we have adopted a historic agreement on a comprehensive and far-reaching set of universal goals and targets. [DELETE 'If', ADD 'When'] these are realized, they will transform for the better the world in which we all live.

Para. 3. should be modified to be the following:

3. We recognize that poverty eradication is the greatest global challenge and an indispensable requirement for sustainable development. We [DELETE 'intend', ADD 'will'], between now and 2030, [DELETE 'to'] end poverty and hunger once and for all; [DELETE 'to'] combat inequalities [ADD 'within and between countries'];…

The Declaration must prioritize the poorest and most marginalized groups and to reach those furthest behind first.

Para. 4 should be modified to be the following:

4.As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge [DELETE 'that nobody will be left behind', ADD 'to leave no one behind and to reach those furthest behind first.'] We [DELETE 'wish to see the', ADD 'affirm that'] goals and targets [ADD 'will only be fully achieved when they are'] met for all economic and social groupings.

Para. 7 should be modified to be the following:

7. This is [ADD 'an urgent'] plan of action for people, planet and prosperity which also seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom… We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty and want and to heal and secure our planet for [ADD 'the survival of present and'] future generations. We are determined to take…

The Declaration must accurately reflect the agreed language and balance of the goals and targets.

Para. 5 should be modified to be the following:

...A world [DELETE 'for example'] of safe, nutritious [ADD 'and sufficient' food]; of [ADD 'safe and'] affordable drinking water; of universal access to [DELETE 'basic', ADD 'inclusive and equitable quality'] education; of physical, mental and social well-being, [ADD 'healthy lives and survival.'] A world of… equal opportunity permitting the full realization of [DELETE 'human', ADD 'every man, woman and child’s'] potential while promoting shared prosperity... And one in which humanity lives in complete harmony with nature [ADD 'integrating fully the economic, social and environmental dimensions of sustainable development.']

It is critical that ‘age’ be included as a group by which data will be disaggregated in para. 17. Further, the narrative should be more people-centred.

Para. 17 should be modified to be the following:

17. This is an Agenda which encompasses all human rights and will promote dignity for all human beings [ADD '– every girl, boy, woman and man alike.'] It will work to ensure that fundamental rights and freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on grounds of [ADD 'age'], race, colour, sex, language, religion, culture, migratory status, political or other opinion, national or social origin, economic situation, birth or disability.

The Declaration must accurately reflect the agreed language and balance of the goals and targets.

It is critical that ‘age’ be included as a group by which data will be disaggregated in para. 22.

Para. 22 should be modified to be the following:

22. We commit to providing quality education at all levels – early childhood, primary, secondary and tertiary [ADD '- in safe and non-violent learning environments.'] All people irrespective of [ADD 'age,'] gender... should have [ADD 'equitable'] access to [ADD 'good-quality education and achieve good'] learning [ADD 'outcomes'] that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society.

The Declaration must accurately reflect the agreed language and balance of the goals and targets, with greater focus on equity.

Para. 23 should be modified to be the following:

23. To [DELETE 'extend life expectancy', ADD 'ensure healthy lives'] for all, we must achieve universal health coverage [ADD 'without financial hardship and prioritize reaching those furthest behind first.'] No one must be left behind. We commit to accelerating the progress made to date in reducing [DELETE 'infant', ADD 'newborn,'] child and maternal mortality by ending all preventable deaths of [DELETE 'infants', ADD 'newborns,'] children and expectant mothers by 2030. We shall ensure universal access to…

Para. 24 should be modified to be the following:

24. We will seek to build strong economic foundations for all our countries. Sustained and inclusive economic growth is essential for prosperity. We will work to build dynamic, sustainable and people-centred economies, promoting [ADD 'full and productive'] youth employment in particular and decent work for all [ADD 'that fulfills human rights and labor standards including those on child labor.'] All countries stand to benefit from having a healthy and well-educated workforce…

Para. 30 should be modified to be the following:

30. The new Agenda deals also with the means required for implementation of the goals and targets. We recognize that these will require [DELETE 'the', ADD 'significant and equitable'] mobilization of financial resources (both public and private, domestic and international) [ADD 'by all Member States,'] as well as [ADD 'scaling-up'] capacity-building [ADD 'at all levels, strengthened international cooperation on tax matters,'] the transfer of environmentally sound technologies and a wide range of other supportive policies, [ADD 'actions'] and measures. Business, the private sector and philanthropic organizations will…

Para. 32 should be modified to be the following:

32. [ADD 'The fulfillment of'] Official Development Assistance [ADD 'commitments in a timely and urgent manner'] remains [ADD 'critically'] important in supporting the sustainable development needs of countries and regions, in particular least developed countries, small island developing states and [ADD 'countries in'] Africa. [ADD 'These needs include support for domestic resource mobilization to ensure that financing is sustainable in the long term.'] We shall accelerate full implementation of the Istanbul Programme…

Para. 36 should be modified to be the following:

36. The scale and ambition of the new Agenda calls for… mobilizing all available resources. Inclusive [ADD 'and transparent'] multi-stakeholder partnerships will be needed to support specific priorities under the Agenda and to mobilize the requisite resources, [ADD 'including for high quality disaggregated data.']

Feedback on paras. 2 and 3 in SDG section.

2. The SDGs and targets... taking into account national circumstances. [ADD 'The pledge to leave no one behind should be implemented across all goals and targets through national interim equity ‘stepping stone’ targets to ensure all economic and social groupings are on track to achieve 2030 targets.']

3. The goals and targets will be followed-up… ambition contained therein. [ADD 'It will include qualitative and perception-based indicators where appropriate.']

We support the proposed revision to Target 3.2 as we recognize this offers specificity and aligns with international frameworks including the Every Newborn Action Plan and A Promise Renewed which are guiding benchmarks for action on maternal, newborn and child health endorsed by 176 countries.

We support the proposed revision to Target 4.4 in terms of raising the level of ambition however, the feasibility of achieving this target by 2030 will be very limited.

We support the proposed revision to Target 4.6 in terms of raising the level of ambition however, the feasibility of achieving this target by 2030 will be very limited.

We support the proposed revision to Target 4.c in terms of raising the level of ambition however, the target’s language should be further revised to align with the language of Target 6 of the EFA Muscat Agreement to ensure that all learners are taught by ‘qualified, professionally-trained, motivated and well-supported teachers.’

Para. 3 should be modified to be the following:

3. Follow-up and review processes shall be [ADD 'people-centred and'] guided by the following principles:

a. They will address progress in implementing the [ADD 'universal'] goals and targets [ADD 'in all countries'], including the means of implementation, [ADD 'in their entirety'], in a manner which respects their integrated and inter-related nature.

c. They will be open, [DELETE 'and'] inclusive, [ADD 'and strengthen accountability between states and citizens'], supported by an enabling environment for the [ADD 'meaningful'] participation of all people and stakeholders [ADD 'including children, young people and disadvantaged and marginalized groups.']

d. They will build on existing platforms and processes, [ADD 'including' international human rights mechanisms'], evolve over time and minimize the reporting burden on national administrations.

f. [NEW 'They will focus on progress for the social and economic groups that are the furthest behind, and monitor inequalities within and between countries.']

Member States should ensure robust national follow-up and review by making firm commitments to develop ambitious national responses to the SDGs and targets.

Para. 4 should be modified to be the following:

4. Building on existing reporting and planning instruments, such as national sustainable development strategies, we [DELETE 'encourage all member states', ADD 'commit'] to develop ambitious national responses to the SDGs and targets [DELETE 'as soon as possible', ADD 'by the opening of the 71st Session of the United Nations General Assembly in September 2016.']

Para. 5 should be modified to be the following:

5. Each member state [DELETE 'could', ADD 'will'], at least once every four years, conduct robust, [ADD 'participatory'] and inclusive reviews of progress.... National parliaments [ADD 'and independent accountability institutions should', DELETE 'can'] play an important role in review processes as well as other national institutions such as National Sustainable Development Councils and local authorities.

9. We reaffirm…67/290 [ADD 'and we commit to ensure that the HLPF has sufficient human and financial resources to fulfil its mandate. Reviews will include staggered peer reviews of national progress of each Member State every 4 years based on a national report, a summary of inputs from civil society and other stakeholders, and a summary of information from the UN system’]…stakeholders. [ADD 'Reviews shall also consider progress of all social and economic groups in order to leave no one behind.'

Para. 10 should be modified to be the following:

10. Thematic reviews of progress may also take place at the HLPF and in other inter-governmental forums, including the ECOSOC functional commissions and other relevant subsidiary bodies and mechanisms, [ADD 'and should focus on progress for the poorest and most marginalized groups.'] These reviews will be aligned with the cycle and work of the HLPF, where possible.

Para. 11 should be modified to be the following:

11. Sufficient time should also be given at the HLPF, under the auspices of ECOSOC, to review progress on implementing the means of implementation of this Agenda. [ADD 'This should include regular review of the contributions that Member States, multilateral agencies and other stakeholders are making towards MoI targets. This review should be closely aligned with Financing for Development review processes.]

Para. 12 should be modified to be:

12. Follow-up and reviews at the HLPF would be informed by the Global Sustainable Development Report, the scope and methodology of which will be agreed as soon as possible. An annual SDG Progress Report will be prepared by the UN Inter Agency and Expert Group on SDG indicators, based on data from national statistical systems [ADD 'to monitor a core set of global indicators.']

Para. 13 should be modified to be:

13. Meeting every four years... The next HLPF, under the auspices of the General Assembly, will take place in [DELETE '2019 with the cycle of meeting thus reset, in order to maximize coherence with the Quadrennial Comprehensive Policy Review process', ADD '2016 to encourage immediate implementation of the agenda.']

Para. 16 should be modified to be the following:

16. We request the Secretary General to prepare guidelines for national reports and review processes [ADD 'including recommendations on timelines for implementation and review, citizen participation and steps to raise public awareness of the SDGs.'] We also request the Secretary General to provide recommendations on the organizational arrangements for state-led reviews at the HLPF under the auspices of ECOSOC, including [ADD 'peer reviews, participation of other stakeholders, and'] steps to improve complementarity...

Member States should strengthen proposals for state-led reviews at the High Level Political Forum (HLPF) to support peer reviews of national progress, align with human rights mechanisms, follow-up on recommendations, and provide adequate resourcing for the HLPF.

Robust reviews of national progress at the HLPF will be essential for information-sharing and coherence, and to support national accountability. While some detail is provided in the diagram on page 32 of the Zero Draft, this detail should be included and strengthened in the main body of the text.

Slum Women's Iniative For Deveopment

Generally this is tremendous work done by having compacted the uneven and off-truck MDGs into the New Agenda. Our Vision stipulates very well what we want to see by 2030 if the set Goals and indicators are well financed , implemented,monitored by all stakeholders and Government. The Zero draft outcome document is seen to be inclusive ; People, planet, peace and prosperity which spells out the three crucial dimensions : the economic, the social and the environmental hence answering the New Sustainable Development Agenda.

Zero draft of outcome document for the UN Summit to adopt the Post - 2015 Development Agenda

25-27 September 2515 is in the future therefore it would have been 25-27 September 2014 when the meeting was held in New York.

Appreciation for the intensive consultations that was done around the world and for it being accepted in all countries.

We have resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty or We resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty instead of We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty.

Last sentence; The new Agenda builds on the Millennium Development Goals and seeks what MDGs did not achieve instead of ' what these did not achieve.'

I agree with you sustainable development recognizes that eradication poverty and inequality , preserving the planet and creating inclusive economic growth are linked to each other and interdependent.

Our Vision is good and achievable provided everybody is inclusive in its implementation and the availability of operational resources, technology, mechanization, good governance and transparency.

It is good to have a stand alone Agenda but Women empowerment should cut across all the other targets for us to acquire Gender equality and equity in 21 , 22 24

we will welcome and endorse fully the outcome document of the Third international conference on Financing for Development to be held in Addis Ababa from 13-16 July 2015.instead of We welcome and endorse fully the outcome document of the Third International conference on Financing for Development held in Addis Ababa from 13-16 July 2015.

The un-even MDGs has been realized due to operating at the national ,Regional and global level leaving out the local levels created a gap that we do not need to see in the new Agenda implementation.

Surely i agree with the information given that Annual forum on science , technology and innovation for the SDGs as stipulated in a,b,c,and d.

WOMEN ENVIRONMENTAL PROGRAMME

The issues mentioned under this goal are very narrow. The issue of menstrual hygiene management is vital to the health, well-being, empowerment and productivity of women and girls. Poor menstrual hygiene management has lead to ill health, can also lead to absenteeism from school and eventually school drop out rates.The issue of menstrual hygiene management has been neglected so much so that its totally absent in the SDGs. In order to manage menstruation hygienically and with dignity, it is essential to illuminate the issue in addition build the capacities of Women and girls on menstrual hygiene.

I suggest we also advocate for multi investment in peace building by evolving structures which would complement donor investment in peace building with government sector and other stakeholders financing for peace building. We must strongly advocate for strengthening the capacity of women peace building due to the important role they play in prevention and resolution of conflicts, peace negotiation, post conflict reconstruction which is also in line with UN resolution 1325.

we would also need to need to include issues of how to address slow or negative progress in the process of follow- up and review. As it is critical and, as yet, unanswered issue is how to address slow progress, stagnation or where actions have detracted from achievement of goals. To date the international community has not demonstrated much willingness to hold actors responsible when they are getting off track.

Baha'i International Community

Paragraphs 40-44 provide a strong, visionary, and aspirational grounding for the Post-2015 Agenda. Placing their call to action front and center would help reinforce the human impact and relevance throughout the entirety of the document. We propose that these five paragraphs be moved to the opening of the introduction.

***

The vision of “our word today” conveyed in paragraphs 12 and 13 notes only humanity’s challenges, problems, and risks. Omitting consideration of its growing capacities and many opportunities gives a limited and ultimately distorted perspective. We therefore propose that the following paragraph be inserted between paragraphs 12 and 13:

“But these challenges notwithstanding, global opportunities are significant as well, whether in technology, innovation, and connectivity, or areas like expanding networks of partnership and growing grassroots commitment to change. Drawing on these expanding capacities for global action will be crucial in achieving lasting progress.”

***

The Copenhagen Declaration on Social Development and Programme of Action of the World Summit for Social Development is a central aspect of sustainable development. It should be included in the 6th paragraph of Annex 3.

The preamble stops short of clearly articulating the overarching goal of development: improving the quality of human lives.

“…planet and prosperity [REPLACE: . It seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom and to ensure human lives well lived for all.] All countries…”

Poverty is a multidimensional phenomenon and should be noted as such.

“End poverty [ADD: in all its dimensions] and hunger;”

No other global objectives are designated to be solved “once and for all”;
“Combat” describes a process, rather than an outcome, and unnecessarily evokes associations of hostility and antagonism.

“…between now and 2030, to end poverty and hunger [DELETE: once and for all]; to [REPLACE: reduce] inequalities; to ensure the lasting…”

“We wish to see” lacks strength and commitment.

“…nobody will be left behind. [REPLACE: We commit to ensuring that] the goals and targets [ADD: are] met for all…”

This paragraph fails to note the universality of the agenda as one of its distinguishing characteristics.

“…sets out a wide range of economic and environmental objectives [ADD: , applicable to all nations,] and also promises…”

“Migration” can be both positive or negative; “refugee crises” more clearly conveys the intent of the paragraph.

“…violence and extremism, [REPLACE: and humanitarian and refugee crises] threaten to reverse much…”

The planet does not rely on humanity for its existence.

“…survivial of many societies, and of the planet [REPLACE: as we know it], is at risk.”

Correction

“In the goals and targets [ADD: to] which we have agreed…”

Religion is one of the primary markers for discrimination in the world

“…of respect for race [REPLACE: , ethnicity, and religion]; and of equal…”

Clarity

“…every woman and girl enjoys full gender equality [ADD: with men and boys] and all barriers…”

The word “combatted” is not appropriate in the context of gender violence.

“…women and children, both boys and girls, will be [REPLACE: eliminated.]”

High-income countries face formidable challenges as well.

“…as do countries in situations of conflict. [REPLACE: Many middle income countries face challenges specific to their circumstances. And significant work remains to be done in high income countries, in areas such as sustainable consumption and production, climate change, and social integration.]”

Minorities are a perennially vulnerable category.

“…and targets include children, youth, [ADD: minorities,] people living…”

“Exploit” has negative connotations.

“…skills needed to [REPLACE: take advantage of] opportunities…”

Extending life expectancy is only part of the ultimate goal.

“[REPLACE: To ensure long lives well lived for all,] we must achieve universal health coverage. [REPLACE: We must leave no one behind.] We commit…”

Only developing countries are specifically called out, when high-income countries are key contributors to global unsustainability.

“…non-state actors and individuals [ADD: – particularly those in high-income countries, who, on a per-capita basis, consume far more resources and generate more waste -] must contribute…”

The paragraph omits the role that people can and must play in implementing the agenda.

“…implementation of the Agenda. [ADD: The capabilities of people and communities, acting as informed and active protagonists of development, are another vital means of implementation.]”

Learning and knowledge are central aspects of science, technology, and innovation.

“…central role that science, technology and innovation [ADD: , as well as the generation, application, and diffusion of knowledge,] play in…”

If the Agenda is to achieve its goals, it must be communicated to the peoples of the world in a way that is compelling and personally relevant.

“…implementation of the new Agenda. [ADD: Critical in this regard will be communicating the Agenda in ways that elicit broad-based ownership and commitment, galvanize action, and ensure that those at the grassroots are approached not as passive recipients, but as active participants and protagonists.] Governments and public institutions…”

Citizens at large should be added to this paragraph, lest its relevance be confined to those serving in formal roles.

“…voluntary groups [ADD: , individual citizens] and others.”

“Exploit” has negative connotations.

“…public-private cooperation to [REPLACE: harness] the contribution…”

The planet does not rely on humanity for its existence.

“…saving the planet [ADD: as we know it].”

The materially poor do not depend on the rich to provide them with decency, dignity, and rewarding lives.

“…millions who have [REPLACE: faced significant challenges and unjustified barriers in leading decent, dignified and rewarding lives and achieving their full human potential.] The world will…”

The references to ordinary citizens is appropriate here, but should be strengthened. As the Secretary General noted, ““If we are to succeed, the new agenda cannot remain the exclusive domain of institutions and governments. It must be embraced by people.”

“…the scientific and academic community [REPLACE: and civil society. And perhaps most importantly of all, it will involve, require, and depend on the efforts of ordinary citizens.] Millions have…”

The efforts and actions of people are a crucial means of implementation

“…volunteers and other stakeholders [ADD: as well as ordinary citizens.]”

We would like to reiterate that the balance and the ambitious character of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) and targets, as proposed by the Open Working Group on SDGs (OWG), should be maintained and therefore we urge member states to avoid re-negotiating the 17 goals and 169 targets. We particularly welcome SDG 2 “End hunger, achieve food security and improved nutrition, and promote sustainable agriculture”, including the substantial targets 2.1 to 2.5, and means of implementation targets 2.a to 2.c. Together they form the basis for “changing course in global agriculture.”

We welcome SDG 15 “Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss” and its target 15.3 as the protection of natural resources will support the achievement of food security and sustainable agriculture.

We would also like to stress that the proposed changes to targets 6.6 and 15.1, 15.3 and 15.5 on ecosystems would weaken the level of ambition and not faithfully reflect the CBD’s Aichi targets by extending the original timeline from 2020 to 2030 (in Annex 1: Proposed Targets revision).

Suggested wording changes in para 15, 24, 25, and 27 are in [brackets].

Thank you.

Protect the planet, fight climate change, use natural resources sustainably and safeguard our oceans [and ecosystems]

...
We envisage a world free of poverty, hunger, disease and want. A world, for example, of safe, [sustainably produced, and] nutritious food; of affordable drinking water; of universal access to basic education; of physical, mental and social well-being.
...

...
We will therefore adopt policies which [sustainably] increase productivity and productive employment, financial inclusion, agricultural and industrial development, sustainable transport systems and modern energy provision.

...
Governments, international organizations, the business sector, other non-state actors and individuals must contribute to changing unsustainable consumption and production patterns [across all sectors].

...
The global nature of climate change calls for the widest possible international cooperation aimed at accelerating the reduction of global greenhouse gas emissions. [DELETE: Looking ahead to the COP 21 conference in Paris in December,] We underscore the historic responsibility of all States to work for a meaningful and universal climate agreement which will put in place this essential component of a sustainable world. We must [respect the planetary boundaries and] also safeguard our oceans and seas, protect [ecosystems], biodiversity, [particularly animals], and promote resilience and disaster preparedness.

Center for Tobacco Control Research and Education, University of California, San Francisco

The University of California, San Francisco Centre for Tobacco Control and Education, a WHO Collaborating Center, applauds the Member States’ commitment to poverty eradication and the recognition that health-related outcomes are integral to sustainable development. We support the need to accelerate the implementation of the UN’s WHO Framework Convention on Tobacco Control as integral to achieve the SDG goals. Tobacco use leads the world as a cause of premature death and disease, with a heavier burden on LMICs. It is well documented that the tobacco production chain threatens food security, water supply and the environment. Additionally, scientific evidence demonstrates that tobacco use leads to poor prognosis and treatment outcomes in people affected by HIV-AIDS and tuberculosis. Therefore, strengthening tobacco control will be pivotal to reach the SDG goals by 2030. Several UN documents note the deleterious role of the tobacco industry in reaching health and development and urge Member States to protect its policies against the commercial and other vested interests of the tobacco industry. We encourage Member States to specifically include protection against the tobacco industry interference as part of the SDG. Additionally, In recognition of the link between tobacco control and sustainable development, recently highlighted by the UNDP, add the UN’s WHO Framework Convention on Tobacco Control to the UN processes listed on Page 8 paragraph 4.

In light of the UN High-Level Meeting on NCDs (on 19-20 September 2011) and scientific evidence demonstrating the most effective methods of tackling NCDs, in the last sentence, add language to read:

At the same time we shall devote greater effort to tackling non-communicable diseases [in order to reach the WHO global targets for NCDs through policies and programs the reach beyond individual behavior.]

The tobacco industry is excluded from partnering with governments in the Guidelines for Implementation of Article 5.3 of the UN’s WHO Framework Convention on Tobacco Control. Added to the scientific evidence of the negative influence of the tobacco industry and tobacco products production chain to the environment, food security, health and development, add an exception to read:

We emphasize more generally the critical importance of engaging all relevant stakeholders in implementation of the new Agenda [, as long as there are no real or perceived conflict of interests between the new Agenda and the stakeholders, exemplified by the tobacco industry as specified in UN WHO Framework Convention on Tobacco Control Article 5.3]…

Add a new paragraph (and re-number as appropriate) 17.20 to read:

[17.20. Protect the public interests and the Agenda by ensuring that there are no real or perceived conflict of interests between stakeholders involved in partnerships with government, as exemplified by the tobacco industry [in accordance with UN WHO FCTC Article 5.3.]

3.a: add to read: Strengthen the implementation of the World Health Organization Framework Convention on Tobacco Control in all countries, as appropriate[, recognizing the fundamental conflict of interest between the tobacco industry and public health as recognized in UN WHO FCTC Article 5.3].

3d: add NCDs to read: Strengthen the capacity of all countries, in particular developing countries, for early warning, risk reduction and management of national and global health risks[, including risks for NCDs.]

Social Policy and Development Centre (SPDC)

The preamble needs to be tightened. I personally feel that millions of people live in countries that are affected by fragility that tends to show prolongivity. According to OECD poverty is affecting some 1.2 billion lives with 43 percent prevalence. With the people deprived of opportunity and abject poverty, the FCS need special mention and special financial assistance.

Essentials for Development Road /Pathway to Progress /Recovery / Development

Transformation for the social, political, economic conditions of most of the LDC / developing countries being aimed by SDG’s is too ambitious a goal hence the title being suggested is ‘Pathway to Development by 2030: A New Agenda

The New Agenda for Global Action aiming to ensure human well-being, social progress and societal security is for the benefit of people, society, and mutual global prosperity. The countries commit and resolve to implement the agenda independently and in collaboration at regional and global level; take concrete and substantive measures for poverty alleviation; take bold and trans-formative steps to address inequality / inequity urgently needed to halt the human suffering and exploitation in all its forms and manifestations; besides addressing the emerging issues affecting the developing, middle-income countries, and least developing countries to put the world and societies on much needed trans-formative yet sustainable path.

“Nobody will be left behind” being too vague be replaced by ‘we resolve to address all social and economic disparities and see the goals and targets met for all economic and social groupings;

If it could be revised to ‘protection of planet and people’s prosperity’ which also seek to strengthen universal peace ‘by addressing backwardness, inequalities and disparities’.

---human race from the ‘fear of wan', tyranny of poverty, exploitation and suppression and to secure..... .

..... steps needed to ‘put the countries’ on a sustainable footing.

Replace word spiraling with ‘protracted’ conflict, violence and extremism (add here) ‘is causing a spiral affect on the societies which has been causing a social regression with in these affected societies; ..... .

Since ‘national or social origin’ is included there is no need for ‘migratory status / birth’ (kindly exclude)-which can also be illegal.

Similarly no need for ‘economic situation, or birth’ kindly omit-it is covered under other categories.

Add word ‘physical’ before the word disability.

Replace word ‘deserve’ with ‘needs’ special attention. (Remove ‘as do countries in situations of conflict’ from here). Rephrase the last sentence of para. by ‘There are-----(add) ‘development’ challenges within many ‘developing and’ (add) middle income countries (add) ‘which are confronted by conflict and violence-thus depriving its citizens of opportunity. These countries need especial assistance and support’.

Add at the end of paragraph---‘challenges and are being exposed to new and non-traditional threats requiring collective thinking / response’.

Word ‘all’ be replaced by some percentage. An incremental approach is more desired which will help set the target for the government which is achievable also.

Governments should increase by ’30-35 percent’.

[Add] ‘middle income countries’. After scientific programmes add ‘social sciences that would help address social regression being experienced by people living in several fragile states’.

5.a. [add] in accordance with ‘international commitments’ and remove all discriminatory national laws’.

5.c. can be rephrased as ‘adopt and strengthen social, economic, political, and legal laws for the protection and promotion of gender equality and ----- at all levels’.

10.b. (add) ‘middle income countries’ after African countries.
Landlocked countries are included in the category of LDC’s.

Soroptimist International

The movement away from the ‘Ps’ and towards summarising the goals into 9 themes is good. It clearly outlines purposes and aims of the agenda, and it is especially good to see that ‘achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls’ is included as a distinct area. This approach is also stronger than the clustering used in the Secretary General’s report. The outlining of themes in the Preamble also indicates a strong transition from the MDGs to the SDGs.
In the opening paragraph in the preamble, there must be a reference to human rights which underpin the aims outlined within the preamble and the idea of ensuring that ‘no one will be left behind’.

Suggests that 'combat inequalities' should be changed to 'combat and reduce inequalities'. Promoting human rights could also be included in this paragraph.

The acknowledgement of the role of stakeholders is welcomed. However, the role of NGOs as a specific group must be secured so they are not marginalised within a multitude of stakeholder groups.
NGOs are also able to specifically contribute to the monitoring and evaluation of the progress of the Sustainable Development Goals, and not just to their creation and implementation. Improved NGO and civil society involvement would also promote successful cooperative partnerships between NGOs, governments and the UN that would be able to be target focussed.

It is critical that NGOs and civil society are not only consulted, but also listened to and not merely co-opted into a development agenda that does not reflect the needs of the stakeholders NGOs represent. The specific role of NGOs, as accountable organisations who have developed expertise in implementing, monitoring and evaluating grassroots change, must be secured within the post-2015 agenda.

Partnerships must be used to further human rights, and achieve sustainable development, especially for the most vulnerable and marginalised (including women, girls, disabled persons, indigenous people, minorities, those living in conflict situations etc). Social development should not be out-sourced at the expense of the needs of people. Unbiased monitoring and evaluation is essential to promote full compliance with previously agreed declarations and for promoting successful sustainable development partnerships at every level.

It is good that there is focus on the gaps and challenges that remain from the MDGs that galvanised the principle of promoting gender equality and the empowerment of women through development. The SDGs must further that principle.

It is be noted that several critical issues related to gender equality and the empowerment of women were not adequately addressed by the MDGs, including sexual and reproductive health and reproductive rights, economic empowerment, eliminating violence against women and girls, and education. Human rights language should be included in this paragraph to strengthen development priorities.

Important UN conferences such as the 1995 World Summit on Social Development (Copenhagen), the 1995 World Conference on Women (Beijing) and others. These conferences were critical for establishing principles of equality and human development within UN documentation. It would be amiss if this was not reflected in the Post-2015 agenda, as those principles are included within the preamble.

This paragraph is currently very strong, and its language should not be reduce. It could be made even better by including 'respect for and compliance with international law and standards'.

The inequalities outlines in this paragraph need to be phrased in a more concrete and robust way. Currently they are vague and do not immediately and clearly link to the aims of the agenda outlined in the preamble. A more obvious focus on a ‘people and planet led’ approach, and human rights, should be included.

This paragraph is ineffective within the whole context of the document. Other paragraphs outline the purposes and needs of partnerships better. Inclusivity, equality, and monitoring and evaluation mechanisms should be better included in this paragraph to underpin MoI.

References to human rights could be stronger. The language on women and girls and gender equality is excellent and shouldn't be weakened.

There is regression from existing language, and the closed ended lists are concerning. For example, the phrasing should say ‘end discrimination without distinction of any kind’ rather than specifying types of discrimination. Currently age, ethnicity and other important groups are omitted from this list. For the Post-2015 agenda to be transformative it must be fully inclusive not only partially inclusive.

This paragraph does not talk about gender equality and current gaps and challenges it in the human rights based approach that would best promote action on goal 5 and other cross-cutting goals. The only reference to human rights is ‘this is also a basic issue of human rights’. There could be more, and stronger language. Addtionally, some issues and goals are elevated over others, e.g. education over employment. This suggests some narrow priorities within gender equality without a clear rationale as to why those things were selected.

Although it is important for policies to achieve sustainable development (and for gender equality) to be contextualised, culturally specific and tailored to communities, there is the potential for national agendas to dilute the strength and purpose of the sustainable development to the disadvantage of all. Unnecessary flexibility in the Sustainable Development Goals could leave women and girls particularly vulnerable, as current disparities will continue, potentially be exacerbated, and progress will be negated.

Women of all ages should be included in this paragraph. Again, the closed lists are concerning.

It is positive to see providing quality education is so high on the agenda. However, again, the closed lists are concerning.

The human rights language in this paragraph should be strong, especially in respect for existing international law and established human rights principles.

A number of groups relevant to resource mobilization are not included in the closed list of this paragraph. NGOs are able to increase capacity through their networks and roll out sustainable development programmes effectively. They are the accountable organisations that will be able to implement the perspectives of civil society into sustainable development programmes. This involvement would enhance the legitimacy of programmes within communities and vulnerable and marginalised groups. Simply, the Sustainable Development Goals will not be achieved without the better inclusion of NGOs and civil society, yet they are not included in this paragraph.

NGOs should not be considered synonymous with civil society, nor should they be diluted within the nebulous grouping of 'other actors'. NGOs should be explicitly included within this list.

The phrase 'relevant stakeholders' is too vague, and leaves the possibility for marginalised groups to be cut out if deemed 'not relevant'. This would be the case especially in politicised situations, where minority groups, women and girls, or other vulnerable groups may be disregarded as 'irrelevant stakeholders'. This language should be strong, more specific, and mandate the inclusion of vulnerable, disadvantages and marginalised economic and social groups. Again, NGOs must be included within a stakeholders list.

Thorough, compulsory, transparent and accountable follow-up and review mechanisms are essential for the achievement of the Post-2015 Development Agenda. These need to be more thoroughly outlined and mandated within the document.

By using 'substantially increase' the proposed revision is too vague which could mean this target becomes neglected in practice. A tangible target and indicator(s) should be developed in place of the proposed revision.

FfD and Post-2015 processes must be recognised as complementary and steps must be taken to ensure that the transformative nature of the SDGs is supported practically by FfD. Furthermore, FfD should complement and contribute to previously agreed development standards and needs, including social development and equality. This should be clearly outlined within the text.

All countries have a responsibility to implement the SDGs as a minimum; they are not only goals for developing countries. The role developed countries have to play in implementing the SDGs is more than just funding the development of other countries - they must also look at implementing the SDGs internally. The nature of global partnerships in supporting international progress towards achieving the SDGs and the Post-2015 Agenda can be emphasised here as well.

Given that PPPs are likely to involve partners from different countries at various stages of development, it is essential that parties from developed countries do not prioritise their needs at the expense of the needs of the most vulnerable. Strong policy and accountable regulatory frameworks must be developed to ensure that PPPs fulfil any role they are afforded within the Post-2015 agenda.

Excellent inclusion of gender-sensitive development strategies in 1.b. This must not be removed.

SRH must be included to reflect is connection to gender equality (established as a key aim in preamble) and to reflect the goals. This seems to show a prioritisation of some goals over others without clear reasoning.

Excellent language. Should be kept as minimum standards. Could have better integration of gender equality as a thematic issue and have clearer targets. Human rights should also be integrated throughout.

There needs to be an international aspect to this, there is nothing on human trafficking and other important cross-border issues that pertain to gender equality and gender issues. The language throughout this section is actually quite weak, as legislative changes do not automatically achieve policy changes. This becomes especially clear in comparison to the aspirations outlined in the goal. The means of implementation here need to be stronger and clearer.

It is good that follow-up and review frameworks are mentioned. Monitoring and evaluation must also be included.

Review processes must be compulsory and every level and not voluntary. There should also be a global review at the UN periodically.

This should be conducted at the UN periodically, with a preference oh a system similar to CSocD (one year policy progressions/implementation/development, the next year review).

Post-2015 Human Rights Caucus

We warmly welcome the several references to human rights in the zero draft. However, we believe these could be strengthened and made more concrete - including by explicitly pledging that implementation of this agenda will be consistent with human rights obligations. We give more detailed ideas below.

It is very important that all lists of grounds of discrimination not be 'closed' - that is, they must include 'and other status' at the end of the list, as is consistent with international law.

Accountability is a central human rights principles, and robust monitoring, review and accountability will play a crucial role in ensuring progress towards the SDGs is effective, rights-compliant and empowering. We therefore urge for stronger language on follow-up and review, including clearer definition of guiding principles.We also believe that international human rights mechanisms and National Human Rights Institutions should be included in this section as very relevant existing institutions for post-2015 monitoring and review.

The members of the Post-2015 Human Rights Caucus stand ready to help in ensuring that human rights are meaningfully reflected throughout the outcome document. Please note that in these comments we have not included our feedback on the means of implementation section, as we understand that will be further defined at Addis.

“Social grouping” is not a concept that has any particular definition in international law. Revert to language of "social and economic groups", and "pledge" to meet the goals and targets for them all:

"As we embark on this great collective journey, we pledge that nobody will be left behind. We [pledge to meet] the goals and targets for all economic and social groups."

Add reference to inequality.
We are resolved to free the human race from the tyranny of poverty, [inequality] and want and to heal and secure our planet for future generations.

In its scope, however, the framework we are announcing today goes far beyond the MDGs. Alongside traditional development priorities such as health, education and food security and nutrition, it sets out a wide range of economic and environmental objectives and also promises more peaceful, better governed, [more equal, just] and inclusive societies. Reflecting the integrated approach that we have agreed, there are deep interconnections and many cross-cutting elements across the new goals and targets.

Include reference to the International Conference on Population and Development Programme of Action and its subsequent reviews; the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action and its subsequent reviews.

The new Agenda is guided by the purposes and principles of the Charter of the United Nations, including full respect for international law. It is grounded also in [the international human rights instruments, including] the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, [the two International Covenants] and other international [human rights] instruments such as the Declaration on the Right to Development. [We pledge that the agenda will be implemented in full consistency with existing obligations under international human rights law.] We reaffirm all the principles of the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, including, inter alia, the principle of common but differentiated responsibilities.
.

Suggested edit:
These challenges are interrelated and call for integrated [and systemic] solutions.

This paragraph must pledge consistency with the human rights of people, not just the 'rights and obligations of states under international law'. Suggested edit:
'In doing so, we reaffirm our commitment to international law and emphasize that the Agenda will be implemented in a manner that is consistent with the [human] rights [of people] and obligations of States under international law."

It is problematic to state that this agenda 'encompasses' all human rights (as human rights go further and deeper). 'Reflects' or 'is founded on' would be more appropriate.
The text in the 2nd sentence should say 'all human rights' not 'fundamental rights'. All rights are indivisible and equally important.
The closed list of prohibited grounds for discrimination is extremely troubling, as it does not mirror the language in international law, or even of the OWG. The list must be left open-ended (“and any other status.”).

Does not reflect the scope of gender equality rights in international law.
18. Working for gender equality, [the realization of human rights] and empowerment of women and girls will make a crucial contribution to progress across all the goals and targets. The achievement of full human potential and of sustainable development is not possible if one half of humanity continues to be denied its full rights and opportunities. This is also a basic issue of human rights. Women and girls must enjoy equal access to education and equal opportunities for employment [and decision-making at all levels and all spheres of political, economic and public life] with men and boys. All forms of gender inequality, [gender stereotypes,] gender-based discrimination and violence against women will be combated.

Reference to respect for national policies and priorities is problematic, as it could be taken to dilute the force and universality of the goals, and of respect for international human rights law. It would be better to refer to adequate policy space 'for sustainable development' rather than 'economic growth'. Respect for national policies, priorities etc. should always nevertheless be in conformity with universally recognised international human rights.

This para includes a narrow and limited definition of vulnerable groups. There is, in principle, no problem in speaking about vulnerable sections of the population, but they must be defined expansively. Suggested alternative language: “The goals and targets we set for global development must deliver for everyone, including the most vulnerable sections of the population. These groups include, but are not limited to, children, youth, people with disabilities and older people, migrants, indigenous people, those targeted for exclusion due to their ethnicity, race, or other social marker. People living in areas affected by conflict, terrorism and complex humanitarian emergencies are also experiencing severe challenges that the implementation of these goals and targets must seek to overcome.”

See above comments under Para 17. Any list of prohibited grounds for discrimination must be open-ended and must reflect either international law or the OWG suggestions.

Important to retain universal access to sexual and reproductive health care services. Change “expectant mothers” to "pregnant women".

It is important to reference need/responsibility to create global enabling environment for all this. Currently ability of many developing countries to do so is constrained by global tax, trade, investment regimes effectively decided and policed by Global North. Suggested additional language:
“We recognize that all countries - especially those with greatest power and resources - have impacts on sustainable development beyond their borders, and therefore we pledge to ensure that all policies - including tax, trade, macroeconomic and aid policies - are consistent with the goal of creating a global enabling environment for equitable sustainable development for all countries."

Cultural diversity framed as between countries should be expanded to reflect the notion that no country is mono-cultural. Suggested language: “We acknowledge the natural and cultural diversity [between and within all countries] of the world…”

The new Agenda deals also with the means required for implementation of the goals and targets. We recognize that these will require the mobilization of financial resources (both public and private, domestic and international) as well as capacity-building, the transfer of environmentally sound technologies, [robust mechanisms for data, monitoring and accountability] and a wide range of other supportive policies and measures [based on principles of policy coherence for sustainable development]. Business, the private sector and philanthropic organizations will [have a role to play] in relation to resource mobilization and implementation of the Agenda [,in line with the UN Guiding Principles on business and human rights, and other relevant human rights, labour and environmental standards.]

Our Governments will be responsible for follow-up and review, at the national, regional and global levels, in relation to the progress made in implementing the goals and targets over the coming fifteen years. To support this accountability, provision has been made -and is detailed in Chapter 4 below- for systematic follow-up and review of implementation at the various levels. [To support this, we commit to establish inclusive and transparent accountability mechanisms to better contribute to an enabling environment for the implementation of this agenda. The mechanisms will ensure wide and free participation as well as dissemination and availability of data and reports produced.]

It is important to retain recognition that effective, transparent, inclusive follow-up and review mechanisms will add up to accountability between States and people.

Disappointing not to see reference to human rights in the principles that will guide follow-up and review (for example: "They will take into account existing human rights obligations and human rights monitoring work").
Mention of human rights mechanisms should be included as one of the relevant ‘existing platforms and processes’ in point d.
Suggested amendments:
a. They will address progress [and challenges] in implementing the goals and targets, including the means of implementation, in a manner which respects their integrated and inter-related nature.
b. They will maintain a longer-term orientation, identify achievements [, setbacks] and critical success factors, support countries in making informed policy choices and mobilize the necessary means of implementation and partnerships;
d. They will build on existing platforms and processes[, such as international human rights mechanisms,] evolve over time and minimize the reporting burden on national administrations.

Suggested amendment:
"Building on existing reporting and planning instruments, such as national sustainable development strategies, we encourage all member states to develop ambitious national responses to the SDGs and targets,[ including participatory accountability mechanisms], as soon as possible."

Suggested amendment:
"Each member state [should], at least once every [two] years, conduct robust and inclusive reviews of progress, based on a publicly available government progress report and complemented by contributions from civil society, academia, local government, the UN system, private sector and other actors. National Parliaments can play an important role in review processes as well as other national institutions such as National Sustainable Development Councils[, National Human Rights Institutions,] and local authorities."

Suggested amendments:
"The HLPF will be the apex of a global network of review processes, working coherently with the General Assembly, ECOSOC, [human rights mechanisms] and other relevant actors, in accordance with existing mandates. It will facilitate sharing of experiences, including successes, challenges and lessons learned, and promote system-wide coherence and coordination of sustainable development policies. Adequate linkages will be made with the follow-up and review of UN Conferences on LDCs, SIDS, LLDCs and countries in special situations."

There must be an official channel for civil society to submit 'alternative' or 'shadow' reports to the HLPF. We note that the diagram on page 32 does suggest that HLPF review should be built on 3 reports, including a summary of input by Major Groups and other stakeholders, and a summary report by UN agencies. This is good practice (as seen at the Human Rights Council UPR) and should be included in the text of this paragraph.

The modalities of ‘meaningful participation’ of Major Groups and other stakeholders in HLPF review processes could be fleshed out a lot more, drawing from various civil society and UN proposals.

Newcastle University, Institute for Sustainability

This feedback is submitted by the community of researchers from the Newcastle University, Institute for Sustainability.

As a community of cross-disciplinary researchers, the Institute for Sustainability feels that a crucial, positive aspect of the zero-draft document is the recognition, first, of the ‘deep interconnections and many cross-cutting elements across the new goals and targets’ (para 9, p. 3) and also, second, that the challenges of sustainable development ‘are interrelated and call for integrated solutions’ (para 13, p. 3). In our specific comments on the paragraphs below, our overarching aim is a draft that expresses and emphasises these interlinkages in a more thoroughgoing way.

This paragraph lacks any reference to the ambitions set out in Goal 11, for example in Target 11.1. Whilst it is recognised that this provides only examples of the world to which we aspire, ‘a world of adequate, safe and affordable housing and basic services’ should be added. This would reflect the ambitions set out in not only Goal 11, but also Goals 6 and 7. Additionally, by referring to ‘safe, nutritious and sustainable food’ paragraph 15 would better reflect the ambitions and language set out in Goal 2 and the associated targets, whilst reflecting the ambitions of Goal 12.

Refers to the adoption of policies to increase modern energy provision. The term 'modern energy’ is not defined and as such does not necessarily entail low-carbon energy. It is important to ensure that modern energy supplies draw from low carbon sources in terms of not only combatting climate change (paragraph 27, p. 5) but also environmental sustainability and public health, and their associated economic impacts. To this end we recommend referring to modern and sustainable energy provision, reflecting the language of Goal 7 and the need for transition to low carbon societies.

Currently, paragraphs 25 and 26 make insufficient reference to the importance of biodiversity. Paragraph 25, for example, could add: "...recognizing the fundamental role of biodiversity in providing these goods and services." paragraph 26 could note the impact of urban activities and development not just on climate change, but also global biodiversity.

Refers to ‘more efficient use of water and energy’. In order to tackle the impact of these services on the planet we should aim to be ‘more efficient in both the provision and use of water and energy’. For e.g., if we are to ‘ensure available and sustainable drinking water and sanitation for all’ (Goal 6), we will need to guarantee provision of access to safe water and sanitation infrastructure even for the large share of the world population that cannot afford to pay the full cost. The inequalities suffered by low-income urban dwellers facing issues of urban poverty, food insecurity and lack of access to energy, water and sanitation could also be reflected in para. 26 to express the aspirations of interlinked Goals 1, 2, 6, 7 and 11.

Reflecting the importance and under-representation of biodiversity, Paragraph 27, which addresses environmental degradation as well as climate change, should commit to timely achievement of the Aichi targets on biodiversity.

Recognises the intrinsic value of diversity, culture and sport as enablers of sustainable development. However, it is clear that culture also acts to influence the means by which the goals and targets should be implemented. For example, with reference to Goal 7, we must be careful in assuming that all people of all cultures want the same type of access to affordable and reliable energy. ‘Energy for all’ should be attuned with local cultural values and needs of individual countries.

An emphasis is placed on ‘the critical importance of engaging all relevant stakeholders in implementation of the new Agenda.’ However, rather than ‘working closely’, Governments and public institutions need to collaborate to find local, integrated solution to global problems. Indeed, all relevant stakeholders need not only to engage but should also be encouraged to collaborate. In this way the agenda will be genuinely inclusive, avoiding the exclusion of - or creation of - marginalised groups.

Could usefully highlight the vital role of the scientific community in developing indicators and realising a 'data revolution for sustainable development'. UN Resolution 67/290 resolves (in para. 20) to "strengthen the science-policy interface", commits to "enhancing evidence-based decision-making at all levels", and "ongoing capacity-building for data collection and analysis". These commitments could be reflected in para 39 (and also in the section on follow up and review - see below)

The interlinkages between Goal 16 and the multi-level system of follow up and review should be reflected in the section on follow up and review. In particular, targets 16.6 and 16.7 apply to institutions and decision-making processes at all levels. Prima facie, the same commitments should apply to the institutions and processes that constitute the multi-level follow up and review mechanism. This could, for example be reflected in new wording for paragraph 3, principle 3c: - as an example: “3c: They will be responsive, inclusive, participatory and transparent, supported by an enabling environment…"(wording taken from goal 16 - 16.6 and 16.7).

Reflecting our comments on para 29 (p. 6) this paragraph should read ‘successful implementation will also depend on the resources, knowledge, ingenuity and collaboration of business, civil society, the scientific community, academia, research institutions, philanthropists and foundations, parliaments, local authorities, volunteers and other stakeholders.’

Resolution 290 committed to reviewing 'implementation of sustainable development commitments and objectives' (para. 8). However, the current proposal aims only to review 'progress', and this commitment should be changed to reflect the stronger wording of Resolution 290. This weakening from the more concrete “implementation of commitments” is significant, and undercuts the evidence-based, policy-guiding value of follow up.

Added wording in Paragraphs 12-14 should reinforce the content of resolution 67/290, para 20 on strengthening the 'science-policy interface' and committing to 'evidence-based decision-making.'

UCSF Center for Tobacco Control Research & Education

In order to maximize development potential, cigarette usage needs to become a component of this document. Tobacco is a leading cause of illness and disease, and has a devastating economic effect on overall productivity. Cigarettes remove people from the work place due to their damaging nature, hindering growth and slowing down progress as countries try to develop their markets.

Underneath section 23, curtailing the usage of deleterious drugs should be included. A specific emphasis should be placed on protecting those vulnerable to deleterious drugs from the influence and planned goals of those producing, marketing, and selling illicit or legal drugs in a manner not beneficial of one's wellbeing.

Mitigating drug damage should be a priority here. The economic costs, along with the health and social costs, warrent that education and regulation are important to the overall wellbeing of humanity. Cigarettes and the FCTC may be utilized as an example.

1. Water is not an acceptable proxy for ‘sanitation and hygiene’. Explicit references should be included to all three.
2. ‘No one left behind’ must remain at the forefront of the translation of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) to national context. Reaching ‘safe water’ and ‘adequate sanitation and hygiene’ for all means prioritising access for the poorest and most marginalised. The declaration should include an explicit commitment by member states to an inclusive and consultative process of identifying marginalised groups, who should be prioritised in goal progress and monitoring. It should also note that inequalities exist within countries. A huge number of citizens without basic services live in middle income countries and they must not be forgotten.
3. Integration of the different goals should be more explicit throughout the document. Water, sanitation and hygiene are critical to the outcomes of goals on nutrition, health, poverty and gender equality, as well as targets within the wider goal on water and sanitation. Member states should commit to articulating a national
implementation strategy as a priority. These should build on existing national plans and ensure that national goals are communicated and well understood across all levels of government. It is critical that these plans are developed with cross departmental collaboration.
4. Knowing whether we are making progress is critical and the indicators being developed by the Inter-Agency Expert Group (IAEG) must not lower ambition (as referenced in the declaration).

The preamble should include explicit reference to water and sanitation
within the list of summary agenda issues. This should be included as ‘secure education, health, water, sanitation and basic services for all’

More explanation should be given on the role of thematic reviews. We recommend that a specific paragraph or section is added to make this clearer. It would give examples of the thematic reviews and explain how these would link back to the High level Political Forum. We also recommend referencing the Sanitation and Water for All partnership as an example of a multi-partner body that conducts thematic reviews
(relevant for targets 6.1 and 6.2).

As noted in the paragraph 3 of the SDG section, member states are committed to
maintaining the ambition of the SDGs. Member states must not undercut the ambition
of the targets by choosing fewer indicators than target elements. This is neither
logical, nor would it promote meaningful accountability. Current proposals being
discussed by the IAEG for hygiene and neglected tropical disease (elements of
targets 6.2 and 3.3) risk just this. If no one is to be left behind, every target must have
meaningful indicators that reflect the breadth of their ambition.

The ‘Our vision’ section should call for a world free of
‘hunger, thirst, disease and want’.

Paragraph 15 should also be amended to ‘affordable drinking water, basic
sanitation and access to hygiene’.

The importance of the poorest and most marginalised, as recognised in paragraph 20, is equally important. While this is a universal agenda, discussion should focus on addressing the problems of the poorest nations.

Equally important is the reference in paragraph 32 of the declaration to official development assistance (ODA). States can and will be able to fund more of their critical systems by 2030 but overcoming the staggering scale of the WASH crisis will mean more, not less, financing from dependable and public sources such as ODA.

While ODA will play an important role, domestic commitments through greater resource mobilisation will be critical. The section on means of implementation should be strengthened by including of a paragraph on the importance of all member states ensuring national commitments are fully resourced.

Paragraph 33 explicitly refers to the importance of capacity building for sustainable development. The capacity to measure and monitor progress should be considered part of this. Where we are unable to fully monitor a target component, it is critical that member states carry through on this commitment to build the capacity.

Civil Society Working Group on HIV in the Post-2015 Development Agenda

The title is inspiring, and the emphasis on Global Action is excellent. However, it is striking in that it does not refer to sustainability or development.

The preamble overall is good, and the nine points echo the MDGs and are stronger than the SGs six themes. The emphasis on leaving no one behind is promising and inspiring. CSWG supports the inclusion of "gender equality and empowerment of women and girls" and "safe, just and inclusive societies" ...universal peace [DELETE in larger freedom ] [ADD and respect, protect and fulfill human rights for all without distinction of any kind.] ... sustainable path [ADD while achieving gender equality, a profound transformation of the global economic and financial system towards equity and redistribution, environmental sustainability, and peaceful societies with accountability and justice].
Additionally, human rights must be included. This can be done as follows:
"•Strengthen governance and promote peaceful, safe, just and inclusive societies, ADD [and the respect, promotion and protection of all human rights and fundamental freedoms;]
and"

After poverty eradication [DELETE is the greatest global challenge] [ADD and tackling inequalities are the greatest global challenges]

Listening to the voices and concerns of the poorest and the vulnerable and making sure their rights and needs are met is a practice championed by the Post-2015 agenda. This is an essential component of this agenda, and will continue to be in its implementation. This sentence must be maintained in the text.

This paragraph can be strengthened with the inclusion of human rights, which can be done this way:
… peace [ADD and protect, promote and fulfill human rights for all]

The references to the MDGs and the unmet goals are important, because it implies that the unfinished business will be continued, and even ramped up. However, it is important to be more direct and to stress that the poorest and most vulnerable tend to be excluded from development policies. Below an addition in this regard:
But the progress has been uneven, [ADD: at times excluding the poorest, most marginalized and vulnerable,] and some of the Goals remain off-track.

We DELETE [recall] ADD [reaffirm our commitments to fully implement] the outcomes of major UN conferences and summits which have laid a solid foundation for sustainable development and have helped to shape the new Agenda. These include the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development; the Millennium Declaration; the World Summit on Sustainable Development; ADD [the International Conference on Population and Development Programme of Action and its subsequent reviews; the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action and its subsequent reviews, and the HLM on AIDS,]; the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development (“Rio + 20”) [...]"

CSWG supports the inclusion of the UDHR. We would like to see other documents, such as the Declaration on the Rights of the Child, included, . "[...] and other international ADD [human rights] instruments ADD [as well as key declarations] such as the Declaration on the Right to Development ADD [and the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.] ADD We reaffirm the principle that human rights are inalienable, indivisible, interdependent and interrelated, and that will guide our implementation, follow up, review and accountability efforts. We reaffirm all the principles of the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, including, inter alia, the principle of common but differentiated responsibilities."

"... and power. ADD [Gender inequality is the most pervasive form of inequality and the discrimination faced by women and girls in economic, social, political and private spheres exacerbates vulnerability, inequalities, violence and poverty for all. Addressing gender inequality and realizing women’s rights remains a key challenge in all regions of the world]. … violence and extremism, ADD [systematic and widespread human rights violations], … recent decades. ADD [Multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination and exclusion persist, perpetuating poverty and inequality. Pervasive gender discrimination, including alarming levels of gender-based violence, undermines the human rights and fundamental freedoms of women and girls.]

This paragraph will be strengthened with references to gender and human rights, which can be accomplished this way:

Sustainable development recognizes that eradicating poverty and inequality [ADD, including gender inequality, respecting, protecting and fulfilling the human rights of all people,]

CSWG applauds the inclusion of human rights and gender equality. These references are key not only to the strength of the document but to the ability to achieve the goals of the new development agenda.
…of universal access to education ADD [health, and social protection]; … respect for ADD [all] human rights … equality ADD [for all, free of discrimination, coercion and violence]; of respect for race and ethnicity ADD[, for minorities and diversity; and of equal opportunity permitting the full realization of human potential while promoting shared prosperity. A world … gender equality ADD [and all human rights, including freedom from violence;] and all barriers to their empowerment ADD [and full and equal participation]

This paragraph can be strengthened with this reference to rights at the end: [ADD including human rights and humanitarian law.]"

This paragraph best captures the principle of no one left behind. It is crucial that states commit to an agenda that promotes dignity for all people. However, it can be stronger: "[...] It will work to ensure that ADD [human] DELETE [fundamental] rights and [ADD fundamental] freedoms are enjoyed by all without discrimination on ADD [any] grounds, ADD [including] DELETE [of] race, color, sex, language, religion, culture, migratory status, ADD [civil status], political or other opinion, national or social origin, ADD [geographic location], economic situation, ADD [age, gender identity or sexual orientation], birth or disability ADD [, HIV status, marital status, sexual orientation and gender identity, among other factors.]."

CSWG applauds this paragraph’s references to human rights and the elimination of discrimination, particularly by sex, migratory status, status, opinion, origin, and economic situation. This paragraph best captures the principle of no one left behind. However, it can be stronger on gender equality and human rights.
For example: ... migratory status, ADD [civil status], political or other opinion, national or social origin, ADD [geographic location], economic situation, ADD [age, gender identity or sexual orientation], birth or disability ADD [, HIV status, marital status, sexual orientation and gender identity, among other factors.]."
CSWG supports the recommendations of the Women’s Major Group for this paragraph and the addition of 18 bis.

[ADD The new agenda commits to respect, protect and fulfill the human rights of and eliminate discrimination against populations in] vulnerable [DELETE sections of the population] [ADD situations and other marginalized groups [ DELETE whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets] … youth, people living with disability [ADD people living with HIV,] … reflected. ADD [We commit to fulfill their human rights and support their active participation in decision-making and implementation processes across the three pillars of sustainable development] …challenges [ADD that must be addressed. Women [ADD adolescents] and girls in all these groups are subject to multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination that exacerbate their risk of exclusion and violence.]

ADD [or any other factor,] including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children ADD [, adolescents] and youth in vulnerable situations, ADD [with particular attention to girls,] should have access to learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society ADD [, including through education on human rights, gender equality, peace, non-violence, comprehensive sexuality education, cultural diversity and sustainable lifestyles] and to participate fully in society [ADD including through education on sustainable development, climate change, human rights, gender equality, comprehensive sexuality education, peace and non-violence.]

CSWG applauds the inclusion of universal access to SRH services and the accelerating progress against HIV in this paragraph.
ADD [To achieve the new Agenda, the right to the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health must be fulfilled for all, recognizing that health is a precondition for and an outcome and indicator of all three dimensions of sustainable development.] … mortality ADD [ and morbidity] by ending all preventable deaths ADD [and injuries] of infants, children and expectant [DELETE: mothers] ADD [adolescent girls and women] by 2030 … education ADD [and the protection of reproductive rights and the rights of women, men and young people to have control over and decide freely on matters related to their sexuality.]

Sustained ADD [and sustainable poverty eradication and] prosperity. We will work to build dynamic, sustainable and people-centred economies, promoting youth employment in particular and decent work for all, ADD [with attention to women and ensuring equal pay for work of equal value. We also commit to recognizing, valuing and redistributing unpaid care and domestic work which is disproportionately borne by women and girls.]

… Governments [ADD are primarily responsible for implementing the agenda.] International organizations, and the business sector [ ADD engaged in sustainable development efforts shall operate under the highest labor, human rights, gender equality and sustainability standards, and will undergo an ex-ante assessment to ensure compliance.] Other non­state actors and individuals [DELETE must] [ADD will also] contribute [ ADD and mechanisms will be established to ensure their inclusive and meaningful participation.]

These references to human rights and the rule of law are critical and must be retained, and strengthened as much as possible.

This paragraph can be strengthened with the inclusion of human rights, as follows:

… contribute to sustainable development [ADD and the full realization of human rights and fundamental freedoms for all.]

Civil society working on HIV welcomes this reference to public private partnerships. Hence:
implementation of the Agenda ADD [with input from civil society and other stakeholders, aligned with its aspirations and principles and in full compliance with human rights, gender equality, labour and environmental standards.]

We support the reference to FfD and recommend it to be strengthened by adding
[ADD and commit to implement it in a way that contributes to the achievement of this agenda.]

The reference to Doha and therefore to TRIPS flexibilities is important and critical for UHC, particularly regarding HIV and emerging diseases.

This highlights the important role of financial institutions in implementation, but does not speak to the importance of aligning IFI policies with sustainable development:
We acknowledge the need for international financial institutions to respect the domestic policy space of all countries, in particular developing countries and least developed countries.
“ … LDCs, ADD [and to ensure that their activities do not contribute to any human rights violations]. …"
This paragraph could be further strengthened with the inclusion of
[ADD We commit to promote that these institutions are fully aligned with human rights, gender equality and sustainable development principles.]

CSWG is pleased by the list of stakeholders including "civil society" but this drafting presents the poorest people—and other groups like children—as recipients of aid instead of agents of change. As the Rio declaration states, sustainable development requires the meaningful involvement and active participation. Consider: … local authorities, [ADD: local communities], … civil society [ADD women’s, youth and community-based groups,] academia, [ADD national human rights institutions,] … others. ADD [We pledge to support and engage with civil society in the implementation of the new Agenda, and to promote a safe and enabling environment for civil society and will protect fundamental rights]

CSWG strongly supports the inclusion of the reference to accountability in this paragraph. However, these critical additions will strengthen this paragraph: … follow-up and review, [ADD monitoring and accountability,] at the [ADD local,] national, regional and global levels, in relation to the progress made in implementing the goals and targets over the coming fifteen years. To support this accountability, provision has been made -and is detailed in Chapter 4 below - for systematic follow-up and review of implementation at the various levels [ADD based on principles of a human rights-based approach, empowerment, inclusive participation and transparency and ensuring meaningful engagement of major groups and other stakeholders at all levels.]

It is important to engage the private sector in the leveraging of data, especially big data, states should include the work being done by civil society in data production and analysis. This paragraph would be strengthened with the addition of "We also commit to scaling up substantially public-private [ADD: and civil society] cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information, in supporting and tracking progress." It is also important to include the message to leave no one behind. Hence: 39. We look forward to the development of indicators to assist this work. Quality disaggregated data will be needed to help with the measurement of progress ADD [and ensuring no one is left behind].

CSWG supports the addition of "including through assistance to those affected by complex humanitarian emergencies "which could be used to refer to epidemics and war.

CSWG supports the addition of "with all countries aiming to reduce neonatal mortality to at least as low as 12 per 1000 live births and under-5 mortality to at least as low as 25 per 1000 live births"

… crucial [ADD, and therefore the multilateral dimension is fundamental so that the economy of no country is harmed while mobilising tax resources, such as Financial Transaction Tax, when dealing with transnational coorporations.] We acknowledge … engage as [ DELETE partners] [ADD actors] in the development process [ADD while fully respecting human rights, as well as labor, gender equality and sustainable development standards].

Efforts will be required to support international trade [ADD , aligned with trade safe-guards,] as an engine for development and to address debt and debt sustainability as well as key systemic issues.

3b. This reference to TRIPS and Doha is extremely important to ensure access to medicines, including HIV treatment and other care. CSWG strongly supports this paragraph as it is written.

CSWG strongly supports 3c and 3d.

CSWG strongly supports 17.2, 17.3, and 17.4.

CSWG strongly supports 17.6 and 17.7, especially with regard to medical and health innovations.

CSWG strongly 17.10 and 17.16, especially the reference to Doha.

CSWG strongly supports 17.17, and sees the Global Fund to Fight HIV/AIDS, TB and Malaria as a model.

A robust, effective, inclusive and transparent [ADD accountability framework for] follow-up and review [DELETE: framework], operating at the [ADD local,] national,

All member states [ADD must be equally and mutually accountable for fulfilling their respective commitments and responsibilities across all the goals, targets and indicators, and] will engage voluntarily in review processes, taking into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development and respecting national policies and priorities, [ADD in conformity with internationally-recognized human rights.]

3a ... inter-related nature [ADD , and which takes into account international human rights principles and standards, with particular attention to gender equality and the human rights of women and girls.]
3b It will be critical to identify gaps and challenges, so we suggest this inclusion:
critical success factors [ADD as well as gaps and challenges,]
3c. They will be open [ADD, transparent] and inclusive, supported by an enabling [ADD, safe] environment for the [ADD meaningful engagement and] participation of all people [ADD , civil society] and stakeholders.
3e. CSWG strongly supports the rigorous and evidence based review processes informed by data disaggregated by gender, age, race, status, location and other characteristics. Therefore, we suggest strengthening this paragraph with
“… geographic location, [DELETE: and] [ADD HIV and marital status, occupation, sexual orientation and gender identity, among] other characteristics [ADD or that may be ] …

… national [ADD action plans and] responses … possible, [ADD ensuring a balanced and integrated approach across the social, economic and environmental dimensions of sustainable development, and that include adequate budgets and participatory monitoring and accountability frameworks. National-level reviews should be the cornerstone of accountability. They should have institutionalized mechanisms for inclusive, meaningful and effective participation of civil society and other constituencies.]

CSWG strongly supports this review mechanism and offers these suggestions to strengthen the paragraph.
… progress report [ADD and data,] and complemented … such as National Sustainable Development Councils [ADD , national ombudsman’s offices and human rights institutions,] and local authorities. [ADD Independent assessments by civil society organizations and other actors should be encouraged.]

This will be strengthened with the addition of [ADD MoI will also be monitored at the regional level, as well as progress towards the fulfillment of existing regional human rights, gender equality, economic and social development, and environmental sustainability commitments. Regional follow up and review mechanisms will guarantee the inclusive, meaningful and effective participation of civil society, other constituencies and major groups, and it will promote an ongoing dialogue between duty-bearers, right-holders and other stakeholders.]

HLPF [ADD reviews will cover the social, economic and environmental dimensions of sustainable development and] will … ECOSOC [ADD , and the international human rights system] and … policies. [ADD The HLPF will establish] adequate linkages [DELETE: will be made] with [ADD and take into account the findings and recommendations of] the follow-up and review of [ADD other UN Processes,] including [ADD all major] UN Conferences, … situations [ADD as well as of the ICPD and Beijing PfA, among others.]

… high-level participants [ADD and draw on existing best practices, such as the Human Rights Council’s Universal Periodic Review.] They shall focus on assessment of progress, achievements and challenges faced by developed and developing countries, [ADD based on reliable, evidence-based and verifiable data.] and provide a platform for partnerships, including through the [ADD meaningful, institutionalized and effective] participation of major groups and other relevant stakeholders. [ADD Global independent expert reviews and reports should also inform the HLPF review sessions.]

Thematic reviews of progress may also take place at the HLPF and [ADD be informed and complemented by] [DELETE: in] other inter-governmental forums, including the ECOSOC functional commissions and other relevant subsidiary bodies and mechanisms. These reviews will be aligned with the cycle and work of the HLPF, where possible.

This would be strengthened by the addition of
… systems. [ADD that is reliable and verifiable. They will also be informed by member state reports that are developed through national accountability processes; reports from regional follow up and review processes; reports from major groups, recognized constituencies and rights-holders; as well as United Nations reports, summarizing the assessment of UN agencies; and the outcomes of other relevant reviews.]

This input reflects that of the Civil Society Working Group on HIV, as well emphasis on leaving no one behind, particularly the most vulnerable people affected by the HIV pandemic.

The title is inspiring, and the emphasis on Global Action is excellent. However, it is striking in that it does not refer to sustainability or development.

The preamble overall is good, and the nine points echo the MDGs and are stronger than the SGs six themes. The emphasis on leaving no one behind is promising and inspiring. CSWG supports the inclusion of "gender equality and empowerment of women and girls" and "safe, just and inclusive societies" ...universal peace [DELETE in larger freedom ] [ADD and respect, protect and fulfill human rights for all without discrimination of any kind.] ... sustainable path [ADD while achieving gender equality, a profound transformation of the global economic and financial system towards equity and redistribution, environmental sustainability, and peaceful societies with accountability and justice].
Additionally, human rights must be included. This can be done as follows:
"•Strengthen governance and promote peaceful, safe, just and inclusive societies, ADD [and the respect, promotion and protection of all human rights and fundamental freedoms;]
and"

After poverty eradication [DELETE is the greatest global challenge] [ADD and tackling inequalities are the greatest global challenges]

Listening to the voices and concerns of the poorest and the most marginalized and vulnerable and making sure their rights and needs are met is a practice championed by the Post-2015 agenda. This is an essential component of this agenda, and will continue to be in its implementation. This sentence must be maintained in the text.

This paragraph can be strengthened with the inclusion of human rights, which can be done this way:
… peace [ADD and protect, promote and fulfill human rights for all]

The references to the MDGs and the unmet goals are important, because it implies that the unfinished business will be continued, and even ramped up. However, it is important to be more direct and to stress that the poorest aand most marginalized and vulnerable tend to be excluded from development policies. Below an addition in this regard:
But the progress has been uneven, [ADD: at times excluding the poorest,] and some of the Goals remain off-track.

We DELETE [recall] ADD [reaffirm our commitments to fully implement] the outcomes of major UN conferences and summits which have laid a solid foundation for sustainable development and have helped to shape the new Agenda. These include the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development; the Millennium Declaration; the World Summit on Sustainable Development; ADD [the International Conference on Population and Development Programme of Action and its subsequent reviews; the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action and its subsequent reviews, and the HLM on AIDS,]; the United Nations Conference on Sustainable Development (“Rio + 20”) [...]"

CSWG members support the inclusion of the UDHR. We would like to see other documents, such as the Declaration on the Rights of the Child, included, . "[...] and other international ADD [human rights] instruments ADD [as well as key declarations] such as the Declaration on the Right to Development ADD [and the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.] ADD We reaffirm the principle that human rights are inalienable, indivisible, interdependent and interrelated, and that will guide our implementation, follow up, review and accountability efforts. We reaffirm all the principles of the Rio Declaration on Environment and Development, including, inter alia, the principle of common but differentiated responsibilities."

"... and power. ADD [Gender inequality is the most pervasive form of inequality and the discrimination faced by women and girls in economic, social, political and private spheres exacerbates vulnerability, inequalities, violence and poverty for all.] … violence and extremism, ADD [systematic and widespread human rights violations], … recent decades. ADD [Multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination and exclusion persist, perpetuating poverty and inequality. Pervasive gender discrimination, including alarming levels of gender-based violence, undermines the human rights and fundamental freedoms of women and girls. HIV-related stigma, discrimination and criminalization poses a major barrier to achieving the end of AIDS.]

This paragraph will be strengthened with references to gender and human rights, which can be accomplished this way:

Sustainable development recognizes that eradicating poverty and inequality [ADD, including gender inequality, respecting, protecting and fulfilling the human rights of all people,]

CSWG applauds the inclusion of human rights and gender equality. These references are key not only to the strength of the document but to the ability to achieve the goals of the new development agenda.
…of universal access to education
ADD [health, and social protection]; … respect for ADD [all] human rights … equality ADD [for all, free of discrimination, coercion and violence]; of respect for race and ethnicity ADD[, for minorities and diversity; and of equal opportunity permitting the full realization of human potential while promoting shared prosperity. A world … gender equality ADD [and all human rights, including freedom from violence;] and all barriers to their empowerment ADD [and full and equal participation]

This paragraph can be strengthened with this reference to rights at the end: [ADD including human rights and humanitarian law.]"

While the CSWG welcomes the references to human rights and the elimination of discrimination, particularly by sex, migratory status, status, opinion, origin, and economic situation., this is not sufficient. States should commit commit to an agenda that promotes dignity for all people, especially those who are living in poverty and those who are excluded, stigmatized and marginalized. So we propose the following language: migratory status, ADD [civil status], political or other opinion, national or social origin, ADD [geographic location], economic situation, ADD [age, gender identity or sexual orientation], birth or disability ADD [, HIV status, marital status, sexual orientation and gender identity, among other factors].

CSWG membeers applauds this paragraph’s references to human rights and the elimination of discrimination, particularly by sex, migratory status, status, opinion, origin, and economic situation. This paragraph best captures the principle of no one left behind. However, it can be stronger on gender equality and human rights.
For example: ... migratory status, ADD [civil status], political or other opinion, national or social origin, ADD [geographic location], economic situation, ADD [age, gender identity or sexual orientation], birth or disability ADD [, HIV status, marital status, sexual orientation and gender identity, among other factors.]."
CSWG supports the recommendations of the Women’s Major Group for this paragraph and the addition of 18 bis.

[ADD The new agenda commits to respect, protect and fulfill the human rights of and eliminate discrimination against] vulnerable [DELETE sections of the population] [ADD such as key populations and LGBTI people,] [DELETE whose needs are reflected in the goals and targets] … disability, [ADD people living with HIV and AIDS,] … reflected. ADD [We commit to fulfill their human rights and support their active participation in decision-making and implementation processes across the three pillars of sustainable development] …challenges [ADD that must be addressed. Women, [ADD adolescents] and girls in all these groups are subject to multiple and intersecting forms of discrimination that exacerbate their risk of exclusion and violence.]

ADD [or any other factor,] including persons with disabilities, indigenous peoples, children ADD [, adolescents] and youth in vulnerable situations, ADD [with particular attention to girls,] should have access to learning that helps them acquire the knowledge and skills needed to exploit opportunities and to participate fully in society ADD [, including through education on human rights, gender equality, peace, non-violence, comprehensive sexuality education, cultural diversity and sustainable lifestyles] and to participate fully in society [ADD including through education on sustainable development, climate change, human rights, gender equality, comprehensive sexuality education, peace and non-violence.]

CSWG applauds the inclusion of universal access to SRH services and the accelerating progress against HIV in this paragraph.
ADD [To achieve the new Agenda, the right to the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health must be fulfilled for all, recognizing that health is a precondition for and an outcome and indicator of all three dimensions of sustainable development.] To … stigma. [ADD Action on the social, economic and environmental determinants of health is important to create inclusive, equitable, economically productive and healthy societies. The role of communities in providing health care, in particular to marginalized populations, should be fully recognized and supported.

Sustained ADD [and sustainable poverty eradication and] prosperity. We will work to build dynamic, sustainable and people-centred economies, promoting youth employment in particular and decent work for all, ADD [with attention to women and ensuring equal pay for work of equal value. We also commit to recognizing, valuing and redistributing unpaid care and domestic work which is disproportionately borne by women and girls.]

… Governments [ADD are primarily responsible for implementing the agenda.] International organizations, and the business sector [ ADD engaged in sustainable development efforts shall operate under the highest labor, human rights, gender equality and sustainability standards, and will undergo an ex-ante assessment to ensure compliance.] Other non­state actors and individuals [DELETE must] [ADD will also] contribute [ ADD and mechanisms will be established to ensure their inclusive and meaningful participation.]

These references to human rights and the rule of law are critical and must be retained, and strengthened as much as possible.

This paragraph can be strengthened with the inclusion of human rights, as follows:

… contribute to sustainable development [ADD and the full realization of human rights and fundamental freedoms for all.]

Civil society working on HIV welcomes this reference to public private partnerships. Hence:
implementation of the Agenda ADD [with input from civil society and other stakeholders, aligned with its aspirations and principles and in full compliance with human rights, gender equality, labour and environmental standards.]

We support the reference to FfD and recommend it to be strengthened by adding
[ADD and commit to implement it in a way that contributes to the achievement of this agenda.]

The reference to Doha and therefore to TRIPS flexibilities is important and critical for UHC, particularly regarding HIV and emerging diseases.

This highlights the important role of financial institutions in implementation, but does not speak to the importance of aligning IFI policies with sustainable development:
We acknowledge the need for international financial institutions to respect the domestic policy space of all countries, in particular developing countries and least developed countries.
“ … LDCs, ADD [and to ensure that their activities do not contribute to any human rights violations]. …"
This paragraph could be further strengthened with the inclusion of
[ADD We commit to promote that these institutions are fully aligned with human rights, gender equality and sustainable development principles.]

CSWG is pleased by the list of stakeholders including "civil society" but this drafting presents the poorest people—and other groups like children—as recipients of aid instead of agents of change. As the Rio declaration states, sustainable development requires the meaningful involvement and active participation. Consider: … local authorities, [ADD: local communities], … civil society [ADD women’s, youth and community-based groups,] academia, [ADD national human rights institutions,] … others. ADD [We pledge to support and engage with civil society in the implementation of the new Agenda, and to promote a safe and enabling environment for civil society and will protect fundamental rights]

CSWG strongly supports the inclusion of the reference to accountability in this paragraph. However, these critical additions will strengthen this paragraph: … follow-up and review, [ADD monitoring and accountability,] at the [ADD local,] national, regional and global levels, in relation to the progress made in implementing the goals and targets over the coming fifteen years. To support this accountability, provision has been made -and is detailed in Chapter 4 below - for systematic follow-up and review of implementation at the various levels [ADD based on principles of a human rights-based approach, empowerment, inclusive participation and transparency and ensuring meaningful engagement of major groups and other stakeholders at all levels.]

It is important to engage the private sector in the leveraging of data, especially big data, states should include the work being done by civil society in data production and analysis. This paragraph would be strengthened with the addition of "We also commit to scaling up substantially public-private [ADD: and civil society] cooperation to exploit the contribution to be made by a wide range of data, including geo-spatial information, in supporting and tracking progress." It is also important to include the message to leave no one behind. Hence: 39. We look forward to the development of indicators to assist this work. Quality disaggregated data will be needed to help with the measurement of progress ADD [and ensuring no one is left behind].

CSWG supports the addition of "including through assistance to those affected by complex humanitarian emergencies "which could be used to refer to epidemics and war.

CSWG supports the addition of "with all countries aiming to reduce neonatal mortality to at least as low as 12 per 1000 live births and under-5 mortality to at least as low as 25 per 1000 live births"

This reference to TRIPS and Doha is extremely important to ensure access to medicines, including HIV treatment and other care. CSWG strongly supports this paragraph as it is written.

A robust, effective, inclusive and transparent [ADD accountability framework for] follow-up and review [DELETE: framework], operating at the [ADD local,] national,

All member states [ADD must be equally and mutually accountable for fulfilling their respective commitments and responsibilities across all the goals, targets and indicators, and] will engage voluntarily in review processes, taking into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development and respecting national policies and priorities, [ADD in conformity with internationally-recognized human rights.]

… crucial [ADD, and therefore the multilateral dimension is fundamental so that the economy of no country is harmed while mobilising tax resources, such as Financial Transaction Tax, when dealing with transnational coorporations.] We acknowledge … engage as [ DELETE partners] [ADD actors] in the development process [ADD while fully respecting human rights, as well as labor, gender equality and sustainable development standards].

Efforts will be required to support international trade [ADD , aligned with trade safe-guards,] as an engine for development and to address debt and debt sustainability as well as key systemic issues.

A robust, effective, inclusive and transparent [ADD accountability framework for] follow-up and review [DELETE: framework], operating at the [ADD local,] national,

All member states [ADD must be equally and mutually accountable for fulfilling their respective commitments and responsibilities across all the goals, targets and indicators, and] will engage voluntarily in review processes, taking into account different national realities, capacities and levels of development and respecting national policies and priorities, [ADD in conformity with internationally-recognized human rights.]

3a ... inter-related nature [ADD , and which takes into account international human rights principles and standards, with particular attention to gender equality and the human rights of women and girls.]
3b It will be critical to identify gaps and challenges, so we suggest this inclusion:
critical success factors [ADD as well as gaps and challenges,]
3c. They will be open [ADD, transparent] and inclusive, supported by an enabling [ADD, safe] environment for the [ADD meaningful engagement and] participation of all people [ADD , civil society] and stakeholders.
3e. CSWG strongly supports the rigorous and evidence based review processes informed by data disaggregated by gender, age, race, status, location and other characteristics. Therefore, we suggest strengthening this paragraph with
“… geographic location, [DELETE: and] [ADD HIV and marital status, occupation, sexual orientation and gender identity, among] other characteristics [ADD or that may be ] …