MAKE A COPY: Non-Escalator Relationship Menu

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1	Non-Escalator Relationship Menu
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3	1. Make your own copy of this spreadsheet. 2. Go to the tab named "TEMPLATE: Partner Name / Your Name." 3. Copy tab and rename with your partner's name and your name. 4. Mark each item with an X to indicate if it is REQUIRED, PREFERRED, MAYBE (needs discussion), OFF LIMITS, or NOT APPLICABLE. 5. Discuss with your partner(s). 6. (optional) Create a new tab for each partner by copying the template and renaming.
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5	Based on Non-Escalator Relationship Menu created by poly_jane

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1	Non-Escalator Relationship Menu	REQUIRED	PREFERRED	MAYBE	OFF LIMITS	N/A	Notes

2	COMMITMENT
3	Marriage
4	Pregnancy / children together
5	Sharing pet(s)
6	Having a key
7	Cohabitation
8	Home ownership
9	Prioritization over other partners
10	Relationship labels
11	Planning for future
12	Expectation of long-term involvement
13	Mutual commitment to working through challenges
14	Mutual commitment to relationship maintenance
15	Support through health challenges
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19
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21	AUTONOMY
22	Balance of time together and time apart
23	Support to pursue independent interests
24	Maintaining independent friendships
25	Maintaining independent romantic relationships
26	Maintaining independent sexual relationships
27	Equal distribution of relationship power
28	Alone time
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30
31
32
33
34	PHYSICAL INTIMACY
35	Physical affection
36	Public displays of affection
37	Compatible sex drives
38	Sexual chemistry
39	Orgasms
40	Kissing
41	Oral sex
42	Manual sex (fingering / hand jobs)
43	Mutual masturbation
44	Penetration
45	Sex toys
46	Condom / barrier use
47	Regular STI testing
48	BDSM
49	Threesomes / group sex
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51
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54
55	QUALITY TIME
56	Regularly scheduled time together
57	Date nights
58	Spending the night
59	Shared hobbies or activities
60	Vacations together as a couple
61	Calendar management / scheduling initiation
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63
64
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67	EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
68	Expressing happiness and joy
69	Offering support in hard times
70	Sharing vulnerable feelings
71	Saying "I love you"
72	Sharing stories about past
73	Sharing hopes for future
74	Knowing personal likes / dislikes (eg: favorite foods)
75	Using pet names
76	Sharing about mental health challenges
77	Supporting mental health work
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79
80
81
82
83	COMMUNICATION
84	Daily or frequent check-ins
85	Texting
86	Phone / video calls
87	Discussing work and hobbies
88	Discussing family
89	Discussing partners / relationships
90	Discussing politics / current events
91	Ability to express disagreements or hurt feelings
92	Ability to address and resolve conflict
93	Radical honesty
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95
96
97
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99	SOCIAL INTEGRATION
100	Meeting metamors
101	Meeting children
102	Meeting parents / siblings / extended family
103	Meeting friends
104	Spending time as a couple with friends / family
105	Positive relationships with metamors
106	Serving as +1 for social events
107	Presenting as a couple in public settings
108	Following on social media
109	Presenting as a couple on social media
110	Presenting as a couple in professional settings
111	Joint vacations with family / metamors
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113
114
115
116
117	FINANCIAL INTIMACY
118	Shared bank account(s)
119	Mutual contributions to vacation / activity fund
120	Financial support
121	Large gifts
122	Complete financial integration
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124
125
126
127
128	MISC
129
130
131
132
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