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*AHA MessagesX
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1In our tech-enabled era, good and bad hit faster and from more places. Our noble calling is to initiate greater good actions. #InspireToEmulateNobility https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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2Be present to win. Act as if the world is going to treat you well. #EvokeGeniality https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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3More than money, talent, or number of contacts, your capacity to motivate a mutual mindset strengthens your ability to pull apt teams together. They can solve problems and seize opportunities sooner and better. #SpurConnectiveActions https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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4It's not the number of contacts you cultivate, but the diversity and depth of connections that leverage your opportunity to use best talents more often to accomplish more #OptimizedFriendships. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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5Having diverse allies enables us to collectively see more sides of an opportunity or problem and thus make smarter decisions faster together. #GreaterSuccessTogether https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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6Folks stayed at Ritz Carlton rather than other luxury hotels because of added thrill: free use of a Mercedes during their stay. This partnership enabled them to be a top-of-mind choice with upscale customers. #ForgeSmartPartnerships https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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7Your focus on interconnectedness increases the frequency of serendipitous encounters, unexpected insights, and deeper friendships. #SeekCommonality https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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8When in a group setting, listen long enough to find a common interest that can pave a connected way forward. #BeAUnifier https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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9Coercive power saps energy from everyone. Shared power showers energy on everyone. #ActCollectively https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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10Honor commonalities more than differences. What you refer to the most intensely becomes the center of your relationship. #StrengthenConnection https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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11Stand out in your profession or market by creating a visible "hook" on which others can hang their relevant insights. This will generate value and visibility for them and you. #BoostYourVisibility by enabling others to be more visible. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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12Your capacity to communicate and connect is a foundational skill to thrive with others in our hyperconnected world. #ConnectWhenTalking https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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13Healthy, satisfying, and productive relationships are not based on a quid pro quo but on an ebb and flow of mutual support over time. #BeBetterTogether https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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14Adopting a mutuality mindset enables us to attract diverse allies to collectively see more sides of a situation and make smarter decisions faster. #OptimizeOpportunities https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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15Seeking a sweet spot of mutual interest is a strong path to forging a healthy friendship. #SeekCommonality https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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16We tend to like each other better when conversing while sitting or standing side by side or at right angles with each other. #SidleToConnect https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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17Strengthen relationships by walking together. Even 20 minutes in motion and conversation gets us more in sync with each other. #Motion evokes #PositiveEmotions. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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18A counterintuitive way to get others to like you is enabling them to like how they feel when they're around you. Then, they project positive character traits on you and support you. #EvokeLikeability https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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19Know the compartments of your heart. We are defined by places we hold for each other. #ConnectWithBestSide https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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20Go slow to go fast. When you first meet or re-meet folks, move and talk less. Giving them opportunity to say what’s on their mind and feel heard makes them more open to hearing and helping you. #GetSupportViaListening https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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21First, listen and respond to other people’s concerns, then "bridge" from their interests to yours. #PullDontPush https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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22Triangle Talk spurs stronger connections in person and writing. First, refer to their interest, then yours, and then how your interests coincide. Gain traction toward a common goal. #UniteInMutualInterest https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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23Answer questions directly, then elaborate, not the reverse. In so doing, you remove the verbal “underbrush” that others must wade through. You make them more open to the actions you advocate. #SpurProductiveConversation https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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24We reveal more through questions than answers. See what’s really on their mind. Answer briefly so they'll ask follow-up questions. By their third question, you'll get a clearer glimpse of their biggest fear or desire. #GainDeeperUnderstanding https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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25Ask follow-up questions and people will feel cared about. Plus, you’ll better understand what they mean and what matters to them. #DeepenUnderstanding https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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26Exchanging upbeat experiences enables us to feel mutual empathy. #DeepenFriendship https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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27Speak to memory-inducing, connective “hooks” in the brain: universally felt, core life experiences, such as their family, hometown, or work. #BeComfortablyFamiliar https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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28Bring out the better side of others, and they are more likely to see and serve yours. #BeBetterTogether https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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29Citing a specific purpose attracts others to spur "the tribe's core mission." #SpecificitySpursClarity https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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30To spur others to act decently, adopt a presumptive close. Speak as if you assume that they’ll do the right thing, then speak to their related, positive self-image. #ReinforceTheirBetterSide https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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31Do what's expected + something extra + what's not asked but needed. #AttractAppreciation https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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32A healthy friendship is strengthened by trust and mutual support, buttressed by candid communication to resolve disagreements and grow mutual interests.
Candor and kind actions spur #Trust. https://aha.pub/KareAnderson		Share on X
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33Few things attract as much attention and credibility as three unexpected allies who are ardently united around something specific. #DiversitySpursAttention https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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34Be a synthesizer leader. Listen long, then refer to
others' points in common to state your perspective.
This will unite them on a path forward, and you'll
gain influence in the group. #BeAUnifier https://aha.pub/KareAnderson		Share on X
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35Co-sponsor events with partners who serve the same market. It will: 1) increase the offer, 2) reduce the overhead, and 3) multiply the reasons to attend. #MultiplyVisibilityAndValue https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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36Ask the meeting planner to suggest three attendees who are each a respected example of a tip you’ll cite in your talk. When speaking, describe each tip and turn to point at and name the person you cite. #YourAudienceWillAdoreYou https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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37Bookending your idea by citing a credible detail up front and at the end increases the chance that others will listen up to the end and remember more. #GetAndRetainAttention https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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38Offer a way for others to gain bragging rights when they cite and/or do the action you advocate. What benefit will colleagues or customers gain by telling others of your way to solve a problem or seize an opportunity? #LetThemLookGoodAsAdvocates https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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39The bigger the change you seek, the larger the reward you deserve. Let supporters savor it with you. Behavior is contagious to the 3rd degree: friends, friends of friends & their friends may be moved to emulate your change. #RewardedFriendsTendToShare https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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40Demonstrate warmth first, then competence, not the reverse. We're highly sensitive to warmth and its absence. #WarmThemUpToEnjoyYou https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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41In conversation, use their name from time to time. They'll feel more valued and appreciated and will value you more. #FeelHeardByName https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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42Show your friendly side that’s closest to that person’s energy level. This will strengthen your connection. #EncourageComfort https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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43Bring out others’ better side, and they are more likely to see and support yours. #LikingSpursLiking https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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44Seek specific ways to acknowledge and celebrate the strongest interests of those you work or play with. #CiteOthersToCiteYou https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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45Magnify your praise. Cite folks who are examples of that praise by name, so they are motivated to discuss and share it. #MultiplyPraiseAndAllies https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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46Cite others’ great actions in ways that spur their bragging rights. This way, they will cite what you wrote or said about them. #GreaterVisibilityTogether https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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47When interacting with someone, describe one of their greatest strengths. You may enable that person to discover it for first time or become more aware of it, thus boosting your relationship. #StrengthenOthersAwareness https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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48Whatever you praise, you'll encourage to flourish, as well as strengthen the relationship. #BoostTalentsAndFriendships https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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49When the spotlight’s on you, shine it on those you admire. Specifically cite their positive exploits, thus making a bigger spotlight. #CollectivelyShineBrighter https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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50To accomplish and enjoy life more, seek opposites for your inner circle: 1) pessimists and optimists, 2) fast and slow thinkers, 3) maintainers and creators, and 4) introverts and extroverts. #DiversityStrengthensUs https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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51Unexpected allies who collectively advocate an action around one of their few areas of common interest are more likely to attract attention and support than a legion of allies with similar backgrounds and interests. #DiversityCanBoostCredibility https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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52Your specificity boosts your credibility, clarity, and memorability. #ClaritysBigPayOffs https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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53Brevity is akin to distillation. It's like reducing liquid in an intensely delicious sauce. Take Zipcar's motto: Wheels when you want them. #CiteKeyPoint https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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54Verbal snapshots are quick hits that penetrate the mind, heart, and gut in an instant, then linger. #YourWordPicturesStick https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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55Let your word picture evoke an apt emotion. Isn’t "Doggie Care" a more emotional name for a dogwashing and kennel service than "Canine Care"? #EvokeAWarmerFeeling https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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56Offer an instant mental picture from the physical world. Butterscotch yellow is more memorable than yellow, ocean blue vs. blue, quick as a wink, slow as a snail, and dumb as dirt. #InvolveOneOfTheSenses https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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57Interestingness is the instigator. It's the hardy carrier pigeon that can carry your message almost anywhere. #MakeYourMessageAnAlert https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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58Make up a word to leverage advocacy: Infobesity means being tempted to “eat” via too much information. What's your word? #InventAWordAndBeVisible https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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59Boost visibility, clout, and support via unexpected comparisons. "Incarcerating one person in California
now costs more than a Harvard education."
— Project Avary #SurprisingComparisons https://aha.pub/KareAnderson		Share on X
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60"Poultry in Motion" was the droll name that Paul Geffner gave his retail chicken take-out store. #AmusingNamesStick https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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61Strengthen your message’s vividness using free tools: 1) puns, 2) rhymes, 3) repetition, and/or 4) alliteration. #GiveYourMessageEasyRecall https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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62Boost your visibility by vividly characterizing a positive action that a person has taken. This will motivate that person to tell others how you said it. #YourQuotabilitySpursSharing https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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63Be more frequently quoted by making your message almost as vital as A.I.R.: inject Actionable ideas, attention-grabbing Interestingness, and Relevance. #DeepenYourQuoteAbility https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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64To craft an understandable message or to innovate, ask an expert and a novice to collaborate. Experts have the curse of knowledge (knowing so much), while novices see situations with fresh, new eyes. #InnovateWithNoviceAndExpert https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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65Reverse engineer your message creation. First get a specific action that you want folks to take after hearing it. #MotivateAnAction https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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66Craft a purposeful narrative that pulls folks into your story: picture a role they want to play in it, thus are eager to share it. #GetOthersInvolvedInYourStory https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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67Pull us in with emotional details. “The smaller the coffin, the heavier it is to carry.” Pakistani Defense Minister Khawaja Asif told CNN, then described a children-killing, Taliban massacre. #EvokeCuriosityAndCaring https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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68Anchor your stories in redemptive themes so we’re moved to live up to them. #UpliftSpursEmulating https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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69Evoking pride grabs positive attention and support. Instead of blaming Texans for dumping garbage on roadsides, a campaign appealed to their pride with the slogan, "Don’t Mess with Texas." #AppealToTheirPride https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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70Tie your product motto to a frequent habit. Sales skyrocketed with "Kit Kat and coffee break" because coffee is a frequent habit. Seeing the slogan triggers us to think of eating a Kit Kat candy bar while having coffee. #TieYourMottoToAtHabit https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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71Whoever most vividly characterizes a situation usually determines how others see it, discuss it, and make decisions about it. #InstantWordImagesStick https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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72See someone’s insults as an opportunity to show kindness. You seldom have as great a chance to look noble as when near someone who isn’t. Thus, you motivate others to act similarly and be attracted to you. #LookNobleWhenSomeonesNot https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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73Power doesn't reside in aggressiveness but in a conscious choice. #OurEmotionsFuelOurEnergy https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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74Holding onto anger is like clutching a vibrating pole. The harder you hold, the more every part of you vibrates in reaction. #AngerIsPoisonReasonIsSweet https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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75Our “fight or flight” brain reacts faster, more intensely, and longer to negative words and actions than positive. #FocusOnCitingJoy https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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76The only differences between a slap and a caress are: 1) the speed of the motion and 2) the force of the impact. #SoftSmoothnessConnectsUs https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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77Bring people in and they open up. Shut people out and they shut up. #BeClearlyWelcoming https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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78Point out that someone is acting like a jerk, and they’ll go out of their way to prove it to you some more. Cite a #PositiveSideOfAnUpsetPerson. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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79An elderly African man was traveling on a bus when a drunk guy got on and couldn’t find a seat, so he shouted, "Get up, you fat black bastard!" "You calling me fat?" responded the man. The bus erupted with laughter. #BypassHostilityEvokeLaughter https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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80Whatever you press against will press back. The harder you press against something, the harder it will press back. #HoldNotPush https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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81A way to release tension with others is to poke fun at yourself. Cite a situation where you made a mistake or did something foolish. #ShowSelfComfortCitePastFolly https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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82Seek the real source of anger when someone seems upset with you. They may actually be upset with themselves. #TryToUnderstandAndSupport instead of quickly reacting. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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83When arguing for more than 10 minutes, ask this question: Are we arguing about our real disagreement, or is there an underlying conflict that we’d benefit from discussing? #UnderstandingNotReacting https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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84If someone verbally attacks you, don’t interrupt or counterattack. That prolongs and intensifies their feelings. When they’re finished, ask, "Shall we find a way to make it better for us?" #MotivateAPostiveResponse https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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85Speak to their positive intent, especially when it appears that they have none. You’ll be more likely to bring out their better side. #PositivityBoostsPositivity https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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86Saying, “Tell me more about that,” proves you are being attentive, plus you can then learn more about what they care about. #StrongNegotiationStrategy https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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87Take “AAAA” approach to respond to criticism: 1) Acknowledge, 2) Ask for more about it, 3) Align with where you agree, and 4) Add your own. #FosterPositiveVerbalPath https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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88The better you know yourself, the more you see others clearly so you can work and play better with those unlike you. #SelfKnowledge spurs connection. #PeacemakersAlleviateWorries https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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89We’re revealing when praising or criticizing. Praise shows what they like about themselves. Criticism shows what they least like or feel least competent about. Respond in a way that #HealsEnmity. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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90When apologizing, put enough "mea" in your culpa. Be up front, swift, genuine, specific, and complete about what you did wrong and what you will to do to repair the situation. Prove you #TrulyMeantYouWereWrong. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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91Show a willingness to compromise and be genial, especially if you don’t feel liked. That’s a commitment to your own standard of behavior and may keep channels open. #CongenialGroundedness attracts admirers. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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92Knowing your best talent and temperament enables you to better recognize your most valuable allies: those with complementary traits. #OptimizeYourOpportunities https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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93Being defined by others gives them control. Defining yourself gives you choices regarding who you are. #VividlySelfCharacterize https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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94We tend to live like 10-speed bikes, having emotional gears that we never use. Examine your instinctive habits to discover other ways to perform, advocate, or react. #OptimizeMoreTalents by looking for them. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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95Strangers can be consequential when you want to practice an atrophied or unexplored facet of you. They don't know how you usually act. #OptimizeWhoYouCanBecome https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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96Like "defensive driving," recognizing behaviors that most upset you enables you to see potential interactive "crashes" sooner and thus avoid them. #KnowYourHotButtons https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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97Recognize that what most captures your attention controls your life. #FocusOnUpbeatOptions https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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98Beliefs shape our experience, not the other way around. #KeepReviewingYourBeliefs https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X
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99#StrengthenYourAbility to make a specific change by: 1) writing it down, 2) posting it where you will often see it, and 3) and saying it out loud daily. https://aha.pub/KareAndersonShare on X