| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | STORY POINT | BOAM DRAFT | STOPPARD DRAFT | IMPACT ON SCRIPT | TYPE OF CHANGE | |||||||||||||||||||||
2 | Prologue: Herman calls Indy by name | Herman (Indy's friend) says Indy's name once. | Herman says Indy's name four times in one block of dialogue. | Drives home that this is Indiana Jones. | Dummy-proofing a critical fact. | |||||||||||||||||||||
3 | Prologue: the bejeweled cross | The cross has huge historical significance, for it "proves that Cortes explored this area before Coronado" (a fact repeated later in this draft). | The cross is simply "an important artifact". | Downplays the major academic importance of the cross. Renders the cross more as a generic archaeological find, rather than unnecessarily asking us to remember some specific information about the cross's value. As this information proves to be superfluous, this simplification keeps our attention more on the characters than the information. | Removing superfluous details. | |||||||||||||||||||||
4 | Prologue: scorpions | While stealing the cross, Indy steps into a scorpions' nest, and while brushing them off himself dislodges a rock which draws the robbers' attention. | No scorpions. While climbing away Indy breaks a ladder beam which draws the robbers' attention. | Simplifies the action to keep us focused on the threat of the robbers rather than poisonous insects. The scorpion bit and the upcoming snake bit are essentially redundant, but the scorpions carry no importance for Indy's character. This change also makes this scene cheaper and easier to shoot. From a pacing standpoint this cut helps chip away at the prologue's length so that (see below) we aren't exhausted by it. | Simplifying a small moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
5 | Prologue: the man in the Panama hat | This character does not exist. In the later prologue sequence aboard the cargo ship, Indy is fighting anonymous sailors without explanation. | This character (who is Fedora's patron and pays him for the cross) is added. | Creates a narrative bridge connecting both prologue sections. Gives a specific antagonist to the cargo ship scene, thereby giving that scene more context. Note that care was taken to distinguish this guy from Fedora -- Fedora wears dark leather while Panama Hat wears a white linen suit. | Clarifying the motive and antagonist within a sequence. Explaining the motive behind a previously vague scene. | |||||||||||||||||||||
6 | Prologue: horse and car chase | Fedora and the crooks chase Indy. Fedora jumps onto Indy's horse. Indy jumps onto the car's roof. Fedora jumps back onto the car. Indy jumps back onto his horse. | All this is cut. | Simplifies the action. The prologue would have been noticeably longer were all these additional action bits kept, which may have front-loaded the pacing and action, thereby misbalancing the overall escalation of energy throughout the film and fatiguing the audience before the main plot even commences. | Removing an action bit. Rebalancing the film's energy/pacing. | |||||||||||||||||||||
7 | Prologue: circus car chase | Indy jumps into a train car only to find his face buried in the cleavage of the Fat Lady. He then is chased through a car of sideshow freaks, and past a calliope (a steam organ) which blasts the ears of his pursuers. Later he fights with the robbers above an open-air tiger car. | All this is cut (some during the edit). | Simplifies the action. The tiger bit and the upcoming lion bit are redundant. | Removing an action bit. Rebalancing the film's energy/pacing. | |||||||||||||||||||||
8 | Prologue: snake in the pants | After escaping the snake vat, Indy finds a snake in his pants and pulls it out. | Indy finds the snake in his shirt. | Avoids an overt innuendo and an unseemly image. | Removing (potentially) coarse sexual innuendo. | |||||||||||||||||||||
9 | Prologue: angry rhino | The ferocious black rhino becomes "extremely agitated by the commotion going on atop his cage" and thrusts his horn through the roof. | "A lamp falls from the ceiling with the impact of Indy's fall," hitting the rhino. | Physicalizes the irritation caused to the rhino. It's awfully hard to get a rhino to "act" agitated but by showing him being physically disturbed we can understand his motivation. | Visually clarifying an unspoken motivation. | |||||||||||||||||||||
10 | Prologue: lion tamer's whip | Indy cracks the whip the first time and "hits himself in the face". | Indy cracks the whip, "cutting his chin". | A small difference, but it highlights the injury, suggesting blood. Spielberg then shoots this with blood being drawn. This is a landmark of a boy becoming a man, and it displays the physical danger involved in such adventures. | Visualizing a moment of character growth. | |||||||||||||||||||||
11 | Prologue: Indy's mom and dad | Indy runs home to find his dad on the phone (doing grail research) and his mom hurries in to shoo Indy out of the room. Then Herman arrives with the Sheriff, who claims Indy stole the cross, and Indy's mom orders Indy to return the cross to the Sheriff, which he does. | The mom is cut. Indy still interrupts his father, but now Henry is sketching the window of the Knight's Tomb (seen later) instead of vague research. Indy willingly gives the Sheriff the cross. | Streamlines the characters, thereby confining the family plot to father and son only. Plants grail-hunt details that will be used later. | Removing superfluous characters. Substituting a vague detail with a meaningful plot detail. | |||||||||||||||||||||
12 | Prologue: cargo ship | The scene opens with Indy mid-fight with some sailors. | The scene opens with Indy held by the sailors and Panama Hat possessing the cross. | By opening with Indy already having lost (held by his adversaries), the scene gains an arc: he escapes their clutches, reclaims the cross, then flees. | Putting protagonist at more of a disadvantage so that he has to struggle harder to win. | |||||||||||||||||||||
13 | Prologue: cargo ship | The fight is longer and more complicated. | The fight has fewer beats. | Simplifies the action and keeps the prologue from running on. | Removing some action bits. | |||||||||||||||||||||
14 | College: Indy's lecture | Indy urges his students to dispel any ideas of myth and legend, citing Atlantis and the Knights of the Round Table. | Same subtext, but Indy cites instead: "You do not follow maps to buried treasure and "X" never, ever, marks the spot. Seventy percent of all archaeology is done in the library." | These examples directly foreshadow Indy's eventual adventure. Ironically, he dismisses methods that he will later employ. He will use the grail map to find treasure and X will mark the spot -- in a library, sure enough. Attentive viewers may later notice this connection and find amusement; audiences re-watching the film will see an inside joke. | Promoting a vague detail to a precise foreshadowing. | |||||||||||||||||||||
15 | College: colleague characters | Two colleagues of Indy's walk past him and needle him for having missed a faculty meeting. | This is cut. | Here and throughout, superfluous characters and superfluous moments have been cut. This helps streamline the story. If we view "audience attention" as a limited commodity within a storytelling experience, we may understand why writers strive to omit details that are irrelevant to the story's core events, especially in an expensive blockbuster film such as this (its budget was $55 million, or $110 million adjusted for inflation to 2015). When we are pelted with characters and details that have no major importance, then we will waste some of our limited attention on irrelevant elements, wondering if we should be remembering them or if they'll come back later. The story is already complex, with its legends, global scope, competing factions, historical references, booby traps, etc. Every effort to simplify marginal moments helps boil down the soup. This particular moment with Indy's peers making light of his adventurous spirit certainly carries some character value -- it paints a glimpse of how Indy contrasts with academia and a sense of his reputation at work. It also suggests he is a bit of an absentee professor who is therefore less than professional, and perhaps this negative light opened up character questions which, while interesting, aren't the point of the story. Regardless of this moment's mild worth, it slows the pace and contributes no major value to the larger story or theme -- as such, it is a low-hanging weed waiting to be cut. | Removing a superfluous moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
16 | College: shrunken head | Indy's secretary, while handing him his schedule and messages, hands him a shrunken head that "came by Parcel Post". | This is cut. | A joke like this pulls the film's tone closer to TEMPLE OF DOOM than to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, or even further, towards an 80's comedy. Overall in Stoppard's revision -- and this is a prime example -- he pushes the tone into more refined, clever territory. This joke shades Indy as more like the pulpy, campy characters on which he is based, and by cutting it Indy's seriousness is preserved. This joke has the added disadvantage of being irrelevant: the shrunken head has no plot significance and therefore can only confuse us and (see above) nibble away at our precious attention. Indy is about to notice an important parcel in his mail (the grail diary) so this joke would deflate and muddle that crucial moment. | Removing a superfluous moment. Refining the quality of humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
17 | College: Hilary | Waiting for Indy in his office is Hilary, a lustful student of his from last semester who tries seducing him -- including grabbing his, er, artifact. He pushes her out the door after 1.5 pages of dialogue. | This is cut. | The overt sexuality in the earlier draft is swept away (such as moments like this), leaving only a few references to sex, all of them to do to with Elsa, all toned down to be oblique. This scene, moreover, is narratively irrelevant. | Removing superfluous scenes. Removing superfluous characters. | |||||||||||||||||||||
18 | College: the G-Men | Indy is stopped by a group of guys who look like G-Men. The men first ask then insist that Indy come with them. They reveal a gun holster, intimidating him. | The men stop Indy but the dialogue is reduced to two lines: "Doctor Jones!" ... "Doctor Jones?" There is no gun holster. | This shortens the scene to its bare essentials. Elegant minimalism. This scene is merely a transition scene (getting Indy to Donovan's place) and as such there is no reason for it to linger. Knowing that staging, acting and music can express the threat to Indy, the writer can safely jettison the dialogue. Omitting the gun holster and simply letting a music sting carry us forward leaves something to our imagination -- not to mention that Donovan is unlikely to have asked his men to bring Indy in at gunpoint. | Simplifying a scene. | |||||||||||||||||||||
19 | Travel to Donovan's apartment | Two brief scenes show Indy arriving to Donovan's Fifth Avenue apartment just off Central Park, then Indy stepping off a fancy elevator escorted by the G-Men. | This is cut. | These two travel scenes are unnecessary and slow the pace. Donovan's wealth can be gleaned from the interior of his apartment. | Removing superfluous scenes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
20 | Donovan's apartment: dialogue brevity | The first beat of this scene, Indy's introduction to Donovan, lasts 6/8 of a page. | This beat is shortened to 3/8 of a page. | This beat is utilitarian: we need it to follow the story but it's neither dramatic, funny, nor exciting. As such it should be pared down to its tersest form. The earlier draft's version was twice as long because it contained two jokes, plus Donovan spent a line talking about his G-Men. Where to place jokes in a script, especially action-adventure movies, is no trivial matter. These films are enormous investments that must pay off at the box office. They demand the most critical consideration of pace and energy: they need to be roller coasters for the audience first and foremost. As with the problem of front-loading the prologue, or dragging the pace with extraneous travel scenes, every beat and line of dialogue needs to be worried over. In this instance, we are still in the first act, the plot hasn't been even remotely introduced, and the audience's attention will fade if the ride doesn't start rolling pretty soon. A few jokes are welcomed by the audience (a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down) but more than a few is unnecessary and begins to work against the story. We know that Indy is wry and we can expect plenty of that later. And we probably don't care about the G-Men's background. For now, saving 3/8 of a page may seem insignificant, but timing out the dialogue difference reveals that about 15 seconds is removed from that beat. That's 15 seconds sooner that we'll get the ride started, or 15 seconds that could be applied to more important matters like explaining the grail lore. Saving 15 seconds alone won't much affect the act, but Stoppard chips away at many moments throughout the script, achieving brevity of words and action -- 5 seconds here, 20 seconds there -- the sum of which is a hugely streamlined experience that allows the addition of some higher-quality moments later, including jokes, character background, and entire sequences (see below, the tank battle and the temple riddles) which were altogether absent from the previous draft. The overall strategy is to considerably shorten and simplify the first half of the script so that Indy finds his dad sooner - which is where the real meat of the story waits - and to expand the action and adventure in the second half of the film. | Paring down dialogue. | |||||||||||||||||||||
21 | Donovan's apartment: grail trail | There are no details about what the tablet says, where the grail might be, or any lore about the grail. | The tablet's inscription is read aloud by Indy. Indy and Donovan discuss the legend concerning the Knights who protect the grail, the friar who recorded their story, the one Knight's tomb in Venice, and the details of where the grail might be. | Here we get into some specifics about the grail and its supposed location. This scene is more than a page longer in its revised form. In the Boam draft, the specifics of the grail trail (here and later) are few and far between. In the Stoppard draft the Knights' story is expanded upon, the map's details are stated ("through the canyon of the crescent moon", etc.), and we know exactly what trail Indy is following. Later, these details are repeated and added to. This elevates the tone of the quest to feel more based in historic fact - even though it's pure fiction. By extension this lends the quest an air of legitimacy and seriousness whereas the previous draft smacks of that pulpy pseudo-history of the genre's precursors. | Specifying the steps of the coming quest. Adding an air of historical legitimacy to the legends. | |||||||||||||||||||||
22 | Donovan's apartment: Indy's attitude | Indy is highly skeptical of Donovan's efforts to find the grail. He nearly walks out at one point. He is somewhat rude and snarky to Donovan. | Indy is skeptical at first, yet quickly intrigued by the archaeological promise of the tablet and of Donovan's leather volume. He is respectful of Donovan. | The earlier draft's version of this scene has more tension between Indy and Donovan, which makes for better drama in that scene. The new version scraps most of that tension - Indy is more polite and far more intrigued by the archaeology. Having Indy start out as neutral (rather than dismissive) towards Donovan sets them up more clearly as allies, which makes the later turn (when Donovan betrays him) more impactful. This also focuses our attention not on the conflict twixt them, but on the information about the quest that they are discussing, which in the long run is more important. Indy's academic interest also helps lend the legend and quest an air of legitimacy. | Simplifying a scene's conflict in order to focus on the information being stated. | |||||||||||||||||||||
23 | Henry's house: the housekeeper | As Marcus and Indy enter Henry's house, Marcus mentions Sonya the housekeeper. At the end of this scene they check the backyard, to find Sonya hanging from the clothes-line, murdered. | This is all cut. | Cutting this corpse certainly lowers the danger level going into the quest and changes the tone of the following scenes. Absent this murdered housekeeper, Indy does not know for certain if his father is in danger, or lost, or has willingly gone incommunicado in pursuit of the grail. This makes what follows (Venice) lighter, and Indy is willing to take the time to hunt for the Knight's tomb and flirt with Elsa. Only after he's found the Knight's tomb does he realize someone is trying to kill him, and then assumes that the same people might have tried to kill Henry. In the earlier draft, the Venice act is still clad in an airy, flirty tone (even more so in fact) despite Indy knowing that this is a life-or-death matter and that people have been murdered over it -- which prompts the question of why he isn't far more frantically in search of his father, calling the police, not sleeping until he finds him? Cutting the corpse not only saves time at Henry's house but bestows an escalation on the Venice scenes: at first it's a mystery, then it becomes a serious threat. | Removing superfluous characters. Solving irrational character behavior. | |||||||||||||||||||||
24 | Airfield: Donovan pays Indy | Before Indy leaves for Europe, Donovan slips an envelope of money to Indy for "expenses" and tells him, "There's more where that came from." | This is cut. | In the earlier draft, we eventually learn that Henry, too, was offered money by Donovan and he took it, but donated it to an orphanage - whereas Indy kept his. Ostensibly this isn't so strange; in RAIDERS Marcus mentions that the museum will buy some artifacts that Indy found, and earlier in LAST CRUSADE Indy mentions receiving an honorarium (typically a fee that would cover his costs) for the Cross of Coronado. Donovan, however, presents his payment in a somewhat slimy way which might make us question Indy's integrity. In any event, this payment detail is unnecessary, doesn't prove to mean much later on, and therefore is cut. | Removing a superfluous moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
25 | Travel to Venice | No scene inside the airliner. | A brief moment of Indy reading through the grail diary, specifically the sketch of the stained-glass window and the Roman numerals, that soon will be used to locate the Knight's tomb. | In the revised script, we have previously seen Henry sketching this page in the prologue. This brief moment is another step in Indy's arc of taking an interest in his father's hobby. It also establishes that Indy has studied this page, to justify him recognizing the window in Venice. | Adding a specific step in the quest. | |||||||||||||||||||||
26 | Venice: Ah, Fascism | As Indy and Marcus arrive in Venice they witness Fascist policemen beating up a civilian suspect. Indy remarks, "Ah, Venice." | This is cut. | A reminder of Italy's fascist politics doesn't add any value to the story. We're going to have plenty of Nazis soon enough but the Fascists aren't part of the plot, and depicting them runs the risk of simpler audience members (e.g. children) assuming that Nazis are in Venice, too. By removing this, Venice is initially portrayed as a safe, romantic place -- contrasted later to Germany and Austria. | Removing a superfluous moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
27 | Venice: foot chase | No sooner has Elsa met Indy and Marcus than she spots Kazim (the fez-clad Turk who will chase them later) and she sprints off, bidding them to follow her. Indy and Marcus give chase, through a piazza, marketplace, alcove, and up to a balcony. Only much later in Venice does Elsa explain why she ran from them. Kazim is never seen to be chasing them in this scene. | This is cut. | Opening the Venice act with a chase sequence injects some energy into the story, after several scenes without any action. However, this chase sequence is rather light, since nobody is pursuing them and it doesn't contain much humor or excitement. Removing it helps move forward in the film the moment when Indy finds his father, which is where the real meat of the story begins. Thanks to ample cutting before and (see below) after this moment, we are, in the revised draft, still early enough in the story to go awhile longer without an action scene. | Removing superfluous scenes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
28 | Venice: dialogue | Before Brody and Indy chase Elsa, Brody asks Indy who that woman was and Indy replies: "Oh, just the average intriguing, provocative, beguiling female that crosses your path only once in a lifetime. Come on!" | This is cut. | Here is one example of how Stoppard refines the dialogue. This line has a number of problems. It is cheesy. It is unnecessary because an actor can play that idea without words. It is a case of subtext being spoken as text. A human being is unlikely to speak that thought - he might think it but he'd say something else. To boot, Indy, a professor, uses three words that basically mean the same thing. The most glaring issue is that Elsa, whom he has known for less than a page, has done nothing to earn such a lavish description. She comes off as charming and flirtatious owing to a single line of wit, but (particularly given the gamut of Indy's adventurous experiences), the idea that she's a "once in a lifetime" woman is laughable. The audience should hope that were this line to appear in the shooting script, Harrison Ford would have the sense not to speak it. | Refining the dialogue. | |||||||||||||||||||||
29 | Venice: the Italian family | The foot chase (above) ends at an apartment where a large Italian family lives. This family knows Indy's father, and knew Indy when he was a baby. Six pages of scenes then follow: Indy and Marcus meet the family... they all have dinner and talk about Henry (we learn that he helped reconstruct a Venice belltower in 1903 and that he plays the mandolin)... they also talk about the search for the Knight's tomb... and various jokes are scattered throughout. | The family is cut altogether. | This is a major change to the Venice act. The family is intended to give some character background on Henry, and to provide comic relief. The background, however, is a series of facts that have virtually no relevance to his personality. Stoppard instead adds some dialogue later straight from Henry's and Indy's mouths that speaks to their background on a personal level. The comedy is funny, but comes off more as background noise than as pertinent to the scene. The dialogue is inefficient and long. By cutting these characters altogether, the plot is streamlined, the pacing is kept brisk, and the Venice act is much shorter. | Removing superfluous characters. Removing superfluous scenes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
30 | Elsa always eating | Elsa has a character habit of constantly eating -- pears, crackers, olives, pecans -- often at inappropriate moments. | This is cut. | This habit is clearly intended to be comedic, and perhaps actress Alison Doody could have made it so. On the page it doesn't come off as very funny, and seems an arbitrary and unimaginative habit that reveals no insight about her character. On a practical level, eating during dialogue scenes would add awkward pauses while the actress chews and swallows her food - either that or she'd be talking with her mouth full on a 70-foot silver screen. | Removing superfluous character traits. | |||||||||||||||||||||
31 | Venice: the priest and the church | Elsa says that Henry was headed to a certain church before he disappeared - Henry wanted to speak with the 'monsignor'. So they go to this church and meet a priest, who explains that the church's monsignor died recently from falling down the stairs. The priest also mentions that Henry has made generous contributions over the years to the church's orphanage. They ask the priest about the Church of San Rafael, which is where the Knight's tomb is supposedly located. The priest reveals that the church was torn down four centuries ago but points out a stained-glass window that depicts the church. Indy recognizes this window from the grail diary and shares this with Brody, who notices that Roman numerals on the window have been transcribed in the diary. Indy asks Elsa to search the church's archive room for any old blueprints. She does, but doesn't find any. The priest tells them that where the Church of San Rafael once stood is now a library. | All these scenes are cut, including the priest character, the mention of the monsignor, search for blueprints, and nearly all the details. The stained-glass window and Roman numerals are retained but moved to the library. | Greatly simplifies the detective work and shortens the talky lead-up to finding the Knight's tomb. Some character background (Henry's generosity and connection to Venice) is sacrificed in the process, although this aspect of Henry's past never turns out to matter to the story, even in the early draft. The monsignor's apparent murder is also superfluous now that the revised Venice act does not introduce any threat until Indy and Elsa are attacked in the catacombs. | Removing superfluous characters. Simplifying a plot segment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
32 | Venice: the library and Roman numerals | The next day, Elsa takes Indy and Brody to the library where the church once stood. Here the three of them sit around puzzling over what the Roman numerals could mean. Bible verse? No. Page numbers? No. Indy then gets an idea and paces off rows, shelves, and books according to the Roman numerals and finds a book that is actually a secret lever. He pulls this and he and Elsa fall through a trapdoor into the catacombs below. | Because all of the above scenes were cut (the chase, the family dinner, the church), Elsa takes them straight from the pier to the library -- although some dialogue is added in between of Indy flirting with Elsa. Brody remarks that the library looks like a converted church. Inside, Indy spots the stained-glass window and recognizes it from the grail diary. Brody notices the Roman numerals. They notice that the window's numerals correspond to numerals inside the library, chiseled into columns. They find the final numeral, ten, is laid into the marble floor. "X marks the spot." Indy bashes the floor with a brass stand. His hits align with the timing of a librarian stamping books, for a memorable joke. Indy manages to chip the floor enough that he can grip the tile and pry it away. He and Elsa descend into the catacombs. | The revised segment is a more original and plausible puzzle than a secret book-lever. It is also much more fun, with the amazed librarian and "X marks the spot". Since the Knight's tomb is only one step along the quest, the revised version is highly streamlined in order to maintain a brisk pace and get us to Henry sooner. | Simplifying a plot segment. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
33 | Venice: Kazim tries to incinerate them | The fireball in the catacombs comes out of nowhere (we may infer later that Kazim had set it). | We see Kazim and his men knock out Brody, follow Indy into the catacombs, light a match and drop it into the gas-filled sewer (these steps intercut with Indy & Elsa finding the tomb). | Adds suspense to the treasure-hunt progression. Clearly shows us who is responsible for the fireball. | Showing the antagonist's perspective to build suspense. | |||||||||||||||||||||
34 | Venice: escaping the catacombs | Indy and Elsa are seen swimming out from under the coffin, underwater to a small air pocket, then from there through a grate and they surface in the middle of a canal. Then a speedboat comes straight at them, piloted by Kazim. Incidentally we learn that Elsa won a silver medal in the 1932 Olympics for the 50-meter freestyle. | Indy and Elsa are underneath the coffin, they gulp some air then dive under. We cut to an exterior cafe, and they emerge from the sewer. Kazim and his men see them and chase them. Indy and Elsa jump onto a motorboat and Indy starts it up. | Erases the need for an underwater set, which would be expensive and time-consuming to shoot without much of a payoff. | Simplifying an action bit. | |||||||||||||||||||||
35 | Venice: nearly chopped into fish bait | Indy and Kazim are on the disabled speed boat, being sucked toward the deadly propeller blades of a freighter. Indy holds Kazim there, demanding to know where his father is, threatening to kill them both. Kazim thinks it's a bluff but then fills with terror as they drift closer to the blades. Kazim cracks and tells Indy "Austria!" Indy then starts up the speedboat and drives them out of there just in time. | Same basic setup, but Kazim doesn't crack and says: "My soul's prepared. How's yours?" Indy relents and together they jump onto Elsa's adjacent boat, while theirs is chopped into matchsticks. | Having Indy's boat actually get half-chopped by the propeller while he plays chicken with Kazim adds suspense by making the moment more dangerous. Having Kazim call Indy's bluff rather than Indy call Kazim's forces Indy to make the big decision here. Kazim's readiness to die fits his character better in the revised version, because he has dedicated his life to a Brotherhood sworn to protect the grail, whereas in the older version he is simply a hired agent in search of the grail (see below). | Making the protagonist's obstacle more difficult. | |||||||||||||||||||||
36 | The Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword | Kazim (we eventually find out) works for the Sultan of Hatay, who is hunting for the grail. | Kazim works for the Brotherhood, a group that is "prepared to do anything" to keep the grail secret and safe. Kazim asks Indy, "Why do you seek the Cup of Christ? Is it for His glory, or for yours?" Indy responds that he came to find his father. Kazim then tells him where his father is being held. Later in the film Kazim's actions are tweaked, to fall within the logic of protecting the grail, as the Brotherhood works against the Nazis. | This complicates the narrative in a beneficial way. Adding a third party to the grail hunt opens another dimension to the conflict, and another thematic perspective. It reminds us that archaeology can seem like desecration to those whose histories and traditions are being excavated, and reminds us that the grail is a powerful object that is maybe better kept secret. The Brotherhood's motivation is later worked seamlessly into the action and helps lend some twist moments to certain scenes. | Strengthening a character's motivation. Adding a plot thickener. | |||||||||||||||||||||
37 | Venice: ransacked rooms | Indy finds Elsa going through his luggage, apparently looking for the grail diary, though she says she was looking for cigarettes and he buys it. | Indy finds his room ransacked. He finds Elsa's room ransacked. He presumes the burglars were looking for the grail diary. | Indy's fleeting suspicion of Elsa might sprout some doubt about her in our minds; this revision removes that chance and ensures that the later reversal of her being a Nazi is a total surprise. Having both their rooms ransacked by an unknown burglar (perhaps Kazim) maintains a sense of danger and casts the diary's contents as a highly valuable. | Adding a moment that reminds us of the danger. | |||||||||||||||||||||
38 | Venice: seduction | The lead-up to Indy and Elsa's kiss has no tension beyond sexual tension. The dialogue is ribald. "INDY: My record of acquisitions speaks for itself. I've been displayed in the British Museum. / ELSA: In a very large case, I'd imagine. / INDY: Damn thing occupied an entire wing." | The lead-up is injected with tension, even anger, as they argue about Indy's methods and his having kept the diary a secret from her. This culminates in Indy kissing her, and they both maintain a veneer of anger for several ironic lines as they kiss one another, until the tension is discarded. | The early version is essentially a "when will they?" beat, whereas the revised version evolves from an argument into an "are they fighting or flirting?" beat. The added layer makes the scene more fun and makes the kissing a twist instead of an eventuality. The revised dialogue carries no innuendo, which helps refine the tone of the humor. | Adding tension between characters. | |||||||||||||||||||||
39 | Austrian car ride | Indy and Elsa chat as they drive through Austria. Elsa talks about all the food she loved as a kid. Then they flirt. "ELSA: What's going on here, Indiana Jones? Is somebody falling for somebody? / INDY: You tell me. / ELSA: No. You tell me. / INDY: Yeah. Somebody is. / ELSA: Yeah... somebody sure is." | This scene is cut. | The earlier draft appears to try and portray Indy and Elsa as falling in love. The latter draft is content with them being in lust. They haven't known each other very long and their witty flirtation hardly amounts to a serious relationship. This scene also slows the pace without much payoff -- the dialogue isn't compelling, and their relationship doesn't actually change in here despite them overtly saying so. This dialogue is another case of subtext being spoken as text. | Removing superfluous scenes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
40 | Brunwald/Grunwald Castle | Grunwald Castle | Brunwald Castle | Some quick research shows that there really is a Grunwald Castle in Bavaria, and it is not a "formidable stone castle" as the script calls for. The revised version renames it Brunwald Castle. [The castle they filmed at was Schloss Bürresheim near Mayen, Germany.] | Giving a fictional name to a location. | |||||||||||||||||||||
41 | Castle: butler | Indy "adopts a prissy manner" when scolding the butler. When Indy demands to see the baron, the butler bids them to wait, and exits, and Indy takes this opportunity to sneak off. | Indy adopts a Scottish accent. The butler stands his ground, not buying Indy's ruse. Indy has no choice but to knock him out, and the butler falls against a tapestry. | Scottish accents are simply funnier. The butler's opposition forces Indy to abandon his plan and resort to violence. | Making the protagonist's obstacle more difficult. | |||||||||||||||||||||
42 | Castle: swinging into Henry's room | Indy uses the cord from a window curtain as a whip. | Indy uses his whip. | The whip is a franchise trademark. Why it wasn't used at all in the earlier draft is a head-scratcher. | Substituting a generic prop with a meaningful one. | |||||||||||||||||||||
43 | Castle: the vase | Henry hits Indy over the head with a vase, then laments that it was a museum quality antique. He gently places what's left of it back on the table. | "Father and son get onto crossed lines for a couple of moments," with Henry lamenting the vase and Indy complaining about his head. Henry then realizes the vase is a fake and tosses against the wall where it shatters. | The misunderstanding adds some humor while immediately summing up their relationship: Henry is apparently more concerned with history than with his son. | Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
44 | Castle: a ring | Indy proudly shows Henry a ring he found in the Knight's tomb. Henry is appalled that Indy stole it. "You looted a grave?" Indy defends it as just a keepsake. | This is cut. | The earlier draft has a running bit about Henry (and Indy's mom) disapproving of Indy's archaeological methods and Indy repeatedly being accused of stealing. This is funny but it calls into question Indy's integrity and has no eventual payoff. The rift between Indy and Henry is explored in other ways later on. | Removing superfluous moments. | |||||||||||||||||||||
45 | Castle: the diary | The Nazis point guns at Indy and Henry and demand they turn over the diary. Henry is incredulous that Indy brought it here. Father and son yell at each other, culminating with Henry shouting "Sometimes I wonder if your mother wasn't having an affair with the butcher!" Indy, enraged, rips a machine gun from a Nazi's hands and shoots the Nazis. | Same basic structure, but Henry's first reaction is to laugh at the idea that Indy brought the diary here. "Do you think my son would be that stupid?" His face then falls when he realizes that Indy has in fact done so. Henry remarks, "I should have mailed it to the Marx Brothers." Henry pointedly calls Indy "Junior" which sends Indy over the edge. As he seizes the machine gun and mows down the Nazis, Indy shouts, "I told you -- Don't call me Junior!" | The previous draft only once mentions that Indy doesn't like to be called Junior. The revised draft promotes it to a running gag which pays off at the climax. Switching Henry's initial reaction here to one of amusement allows a momentary arc to his demeanor, giving the anger an escalation from negative-ten to ten. Having Indy get furious over a nickname rather than over a suggestion that he might be a bastard is funnier and less mean-spirited on Henry's part. | Planting a joke to be paid off later. Maximizing the arc within a beat. | |||||||||||||||||||||
46 | Castle: Like father, like son | Henry doesn't reveal until the Zeppelin scene that he, too, had slept with Elsa. | Indy here asks Henry how he knew she was a Nazi and he responds that "she talks in her sleep." | This shared experience is revealed much earlier in the revised draft, and is used to humorous effect a few times. By knowing it earlier, we view the following scenes with Elsa with a layer of amusement, such as when Elsa speaks to both Indy and Henry at once (when they're back-to-back) about "how wonderful it was." We instantly get a sense that Henry is more virile than Indy has previously characterized him. | Moving character information earlier to maximize its effect. | |||||||||||||||||||||
47 | Brody is captured | Elsa deduces that Indy must have given Brody the missing diary pages. Indy talks up Brody's game, that he knows a dozen languages, that he'll blend in, disappear, and they'll never catch him. We do not see Brody getting captured but see him later when he's a Nazi prisoner. | Indy talks up Brody's game and concludes that "with any luck, he's got the grail already." We then cut to Brody, lost and confused in Iskenderun, asking if anyone speaks English. Sallah finds Brody and escorts him, but then two sinister men show up and Brody is quickly captured. | Seeing Brody get captured is not strictly essential to the narrative, though it adds suspense to the remaining scenes in Europe because we know that nothing now stands between the Nazis and the grail -- it's a race for Indy and Henry to get to Hatay as quickly as they can. We see that the Nazis have a network of agents and are not so easily tricked. Moreover, this new scene is hilarious. Cutting from Indy's confident speech to Brody's first line, "Does anyone here speak English? Or even ancient Greek?" is perhaps the funniest edit in the film. It is a classic example of building up expectation and then smashing it to comic effect. The scene confirms that Brody is no adventurer and that it's up to Indy to save the day. This also establishes Sallah earlier in the script, giving his character more of a role in the quest. | Dramatizing an event that is previously just talked about. Forcing the protagonist to work harder by flummoxing his plan. | |||||||||||||||||||||
48 | Castle: villain decisions | Elsa says goodbye to Indy and Henry, then the three antagonists (Donovan, Vogel and Elsa) meet in a radio room and decide to keep the Jones boys alive for now. Two scenes later as Donovan is leaving in a car, he pauses and tells Vogel to "kill them now." | These three scenes are combined into two: the villains hold their discussion in front of Indy and Henry, then, Elsa bids the Joneses goodbye (and the dialogue is more humorous in tone). Two scenes later as Donovan is departing, he is given two messages: that Brody has been captured, and that Hitler has ordered the "American conspirators" to be killed. | Economizes the locations. Settles the plot trajectory first before pausing to have a moment between Elsa and Indy. Adding the information that Brody has been captured clarifies that it was Nazis who captured Brody in the previous scene (in case there was any doubt). Adding the order from Hitler to kill the Jones boys has several advantages. It directly links Hitler to the grail quest (whereas before we wouldn't know whether he was aware of this operation) which amplifies the stakes -- Hitler himself is waiting to acquire the grail. It will add tension to the later scene when Indy is face-to-face with Hitler: we know now that Hitler is aware of Indy's existence but don't know whether he knows Indy by face. Thirdly, it provides motivation for Vogel to try and kill the Joneses; Donovan's previous order seemed arbitrary and illogical given that Brody had not yet been captured. | Simplifying scenes. Adding motivation behind a previously irrational character decision. Clarifying where the plot stands. Increasing stakes. | |||||||||||||||||||||
49 | Castle: breaking up the lighter scene | Henry accidentally lights the room on fire. This scene is broken into two halves, by cutting to Donovan (above) who orders Vogel to kill the Joneses. We cut to Donovan as Henry ignites the lighter, but before he has dropped it. | We cut to the Donovan scene after Henry has lit the floor on fire. | Leaving us hanging after Henry has put himself and Indy in danger sustains the suspense while we watch the villains discuss their plans. | Moving the break point of a two-part scene in order to maximize suspense. | |||||||||||||||||||||
50 | Castle: Henry lights the room on fire | The dialogue is quite plain. "HENRY: Ow! / INDY: Are you okay? / HENRY: Yeah but I dropped the damn thing [the lighter]." | The dialogue is more comedic with minor turns to it. "HENRY: I ought to tell you something. / INDY: Don't get sentimental now, Dad -- save it `til we get out of here. / HENRY: The floor's on fire. See?" And then in the second half of the scene: "Indy tries to communicate with Henry, but each time he calls him, the men turn their heads in opposite directions." | Another example of how the dialogue is improved. Indy's presumption that his dad wants to get sentimental sets up a reversal which gives Indy's character a more interesting moment and gives the beat ironic humor. In general it is more interesting to watch characters undergo changes in a scene (big or small) as opposed to a linear progression. The scene is already exciting due to Henry having dropped the lighter, but the revised dialogue makes it more fun. Spielberg adds to this fun by having Henry blow at the flame, trying to put it out, only to have the air feed the flame and spread it to the carpet -- here another example of a character taking an action in pursuit of a goal (extinguishing the flame) but causing the opposite result (the flame spreads) -- a standard dramatic structure, and one made comedic here by the actors' performances. | Refining the dialogue. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
51 | "Dad" / "Son" | Indy doesn't call Henry "Dad" very often and Henry doesn't call Indy "Son" very often. | Both are more frequent. | Helps personalizes the father-son relationship and constantly keep that in the foreground, so that small moments of disagreement or tension get mapped onto the ongoing evolution of their dynamic. Makes a lot of these small moments more endearing, and by extension, pulls us closer to the characters. | Adding characters' names (or nicknames) to subtly personalize their relationship. | |||||||||||||||||||||
52 | Castle: Motorcycle chase | Indy and Henry drive away from the castle in a motorcycle but are not pursued. | Several soldiers riding motorcycles pursue them and Indy fends them off. [This scene was added as a pickup, during post-production, when Spielberg decided the film needed more action.] | Expands the action and makes their escape more difficult. | Adding an action scene. | |||||||||||||||||||||
53 | Crossroads | Indy stops the motorcycle at a crossroads (Berlin vs. Budapest) and Henry insists they go to Berlin to get his diary. Indy refuses, so Henry steps out of the sidecar and begins walking. Indy claims he never understood Henry's obsession with the grail, and Henry responds that "to touch the grail is to touch the face of God." This satisfies Indy. Henry adds that, should the Nazis attain the grail, Hitler's armies will live forever. | Henry does not need to exit the sidecar and walk away to make his son obey. Indy says "Jesus Christ" and Henry slaps him "for blasphemy". Henry explains that the quest for the grail is not archaeology but a race against evil -- should the Nazis attain the grail "the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth." Indy makes reference to his mother and Henry's response alludes that she died of an illness that she'd kept hidden from Henry. The crossroads signs are Berlin vs. Venice. | Keeping Henry seated in the motorcycle instead of having him walk away better reflects the established relationship between father and son - that Indy reflexively obeys his father. It also highlights Henry's role as a strong father, stoic rather than reactive (true power is seen in stillness). This obedience and respect is heightened by having Henry slap Indy, which grabs our attention and shakes Indy to his core. The father is still ready to discipline his son; he still has something to teach him. These revisions raise the temperature of the father-son tension. Henry's revised explanation of the consequences should the Nazi's attain the grail is more immediate and aligns to the historic fear of that era (Nazis conquering the world versus being immortal). Because the mother was removed from the revised script's prologue scenes, and knowing that audiences would naturally wonder about her, Stoppard takes this chance to mention her. The insinuation that Henry failed to save her, and that "all I could do was mourn her", leaves us with the impression that the grail quest has a deeper meaning for Henry. This remark also foreshadows how Indy will save his father using the grail. Changing the crossroads sign from Budapest to Venice keeps the Europe of the story limited to established cities and simplifies the directionality of the narrative (Venice = Marcus/grail, Berlin = diary/danger) without having to add a third city. | Increasing character tension. Addressing the status of a missing character. Simplifying the story geography. | |||||||||||||||||||||
54 | Berlin: book burning rally | Elsa is posing beside Hitler and other officers as Leni Riefenstahl lines up a shot of the group. Leni asks Hitler to take a step forward but he takes a step back, so she directs everyone else to take a step back as well. Once Elsa is alone, Indy seizes her and threatens to strangle her. He feels her up and asks "Where is it?" She replies, "Everything's right where it was the last time you looked." Then he finds the grail diary in her pocket and takes it. Indy stuffs Elsa in the trunk of a car, walks past Hitler (who makes eye contact with him) and disappears into the crowd. Hitler gets into the car that contains Elsa. | Indy puts on a Nazi officer's uniform to blend into the crowd. The Leni Riefenstahl bit is cut, along with the feeling-up-Elsa joke. The confrontation between Indy and Elsa is ramped up emotionally -- her "lover's hurt" is more evident and his anger flares hotter. He accuses her of planning to burn the book; she claims she believes "in the Grail, not the Swastika"; he retorts that she chose to stand with the enemy of everything the grail stands for. As his anger flares he threatens to strangle her. Indy releases her and walks away, only to come face-to-face with Hitler. Hitler "breaks the spell by taking the Grail Diary from him, opens it to the first page and signs his autograph. He hands it back and moves on." | Removes an irrelevant (though clever) joke with Leni Riefenstahl. The refined dialogue between Indy and Elsa is crisper, and has a build to it: instead of Indy threatening to choke her off the bat, he only does so at the climax of their stinging exchange of words. Having Indy stuff Elsa into a trunk provides some sense of closure to Indy's pain of betrayal: he exacts some small revenge. But the revised scene opts to leave this pain hanging, a still-open wound for Indy. He just walks away, which is perhaps a harsher rebuke of Elsa. It leaves us to wonder what he'll do when he next encounters her. The standoff between Indy and Hitler which is humorously diffused makes up for the levity that was lost by cutting the other jokes. It is a beautifully structured moment: our protagonist comes face-to-face with the story's arch-antagonist and Hitler literally has the diary in his hands. Spielberg and editor Michael Kahn draw this moment out as our stomachs drop... but Hitler's narcissism triumphs and he assumes Indy wants an autograph. | Removing superfluous jokes. Increasing character tension. Increasing the suspense of a highly charged moment | |||||||||||||||||||||
55 | Zeppelin: Nazis hunt the Joneses | Two gestapo agents board the Zeppelin, looking for our heroes. Indy tosses one out a window, then follows the other down a corridor. He knocks out the agent, drags him into a closet, and notices a radio box which he breaks. | Vogel himself boards the Zeppelin hunting our boys. He asks a few passengers (in German) if they've seen the Joneses, showing them a picture. When Vogel spots Henry, Indy quickly knocks him out and tosses him out the window. | Simplifies the escape and raises the stakes by trading two nameless gestapo men for one antagonist we already know. | Simplifying an action bit. Using existing characters instead of nameless disposable ones. | |||||||||||||||||||||
56 | Zeppelin: father and son chat | Henry reveals to Indy here that he slept with Elsa. Indy remarks that he doesn't know his father as well as he thought. Henry replies that "the only person who ever really knew me was your mother -- rest her soul. And that's why she wanted the divorce." | Already aware that Henry had slept with Elsa, Indy comments that "you're old enough to be her grandfather." Henry defends himself and they laugh it off. Indy then turns to the subject of his childhood, and how father and son never really talked. Henry defends his parenting method as teaching his son self reliance. Henry says, "Very well. I'm here now. What do you want to talk about?" Indy says he can't think of anything. Henry then switches topics to tell Indy about the upcoming booby traps at the grail temple, but admits that he doesn't know what the riddles mean. | The dialogue in the revised draft is much more a dance of wits - airy and quippy - than the plainer dialogue in the earlier draft. The new content depicts quite a different family dynamic than the first version. For one, Indy's mother goes from having divorced Henry before passing, to dying (still married) from an illness she kept secret, as explained at the crossroads earlier. The divorce reference might have made Henry less likeable. In the revised draft we get the answers about the mom earlier, leaving this scene to focus on the father-son relationship. The added details about Henry's parenting style offer a glimpse into each man's view of their past. In the first two films, Indy is painted as an independent soul who doesn't seem to have time or interest in real relationships. Here we get an explanation for his emotional status, and it's refreshing to see him crave affection and admit that he craved it during his childhood. This is basic character development, and although the earlier draft contains much more details about Henry's life and interests, these details amount to a smattering of emotionless facts. Stoppard replaces this with an exploration of how the past made Indy who he is and what he still wants from his father. With the discussion of the grail booby traps, Henry reminds the audience that more obstacles lie ahead even if they find the temple. It gives us a taste that some fun action awaits. | Refining the dialogue. Deepening the character relationships and backstory. Teasing us with a prediction of upcoming obstacles. | |||||||||||||||||||||
57 | Zeppelin: the flying ace | A WW1 German flying ace is aboard the Zeppelin. At the bar, he regales passengers with tales of his daring exploits. When Henry and Indy move to escape the Zeppelin by taking the attached biplane, the flying ace follows them. He climbs aboard a second biplane and unhooks it, but in his drunkenness he forgets to start the motor, and the plane spirals straight down to the ground. | This character is cut. There is only one biplane attached to the Zeppelin. (The scene was filmed cut cut during the edit.) | This gag was clever -- we are led to expect an aerial battle between the Jones boys and a flying ace, only to have him abruptly plummet to his death -- but it requires some setup and prolongs the Zeppelin sequence. | Simplifying an action bit. Removing superfluous characters. | |||||||||||||||||||||
58 | Zeppelin: escape | A gestapo agent, crew members and the flying ace chase Indy and Henry through the framework of the Zeppelin. Henry falls and hangs from a beam, but Indy pulls him up. A crewman prevents Indy from climbing into the biplane, but Henry seizes the man and throws him aside. Henry is terrified, asking Indy if he knows how to fly. Indy replies, "Let's find out together!" | Indy and Henry are not pursued by anyone as they race through the Zeppelin's framework to the biplane. Henry is delighted, remarking that he was unaware Indy could fly a plane. Indy replies, "Fly... yes. Land... no." | Simplifies their escape. Swapping Henry's emotion when he inquires if his son knows how to fly improves the punchline of the joke. If Henry starts out terrified, then Indy's reply merely confirms Henry's fears. If he starts out delighted, then Indy's reply plows over Henry's optimism and leaves him suddenly afraid. Change is the essence of drama (and comedy) so little tweaks like this throughout the script beef up its dynamics. One may recall the old acting advice: If the script requires that you answer a phone and it's good news, then start out the scene in a bad mood; if it's bad news, then start the scene in a good mood... the sudden change in emotion will magnify the impact of the news. | Simplifying an action bit. Maximizing the arc within a beat. | |||||||||||||||||||||
59 | Zeppelin: scene description | Henry falls, but manages to grab hold of the catwalk. The script reads: "His feet dangle in the air. If he lets go, he'll rip through the canvas belly of the ship and free-fall to the ground below." | This whole beat is cut. | This is an example of a useless scene description. The danger posed to Henry - that he would rip through the canvas - is being conveyed to the reader but it cannot be filmed as written. The audience has no way to know this information. If the filmmakers wanted to convey that danger to the audience they'd have to show it, perhaps by an object falling past Henry and ripping through the canvas, so that he (and we) could then foresee his potential fate. | N/A | |||||||||||||||||||||
60 | Dogfight: airplanes | Two Stuka dive-bombers pursue our boys. | Two Messerschmitt fighter-bombers pursue our boys. [In filming, two Pilatus P-2s are used, which stand in for the Messerschmitts] | Upgrades the planes from dive-bombers, which are too slow and unmaneuverable to pose much threat in a dogfight, to interceptor fighters, which are specifically built for such circumstances. | Changing a prop to be more realistic and threatening. | |||||||||||||||||||||
61 | Dogfight | During the dogfight, Indy flies low and darts between tall pines where the Stukas cannot follow. Indy directs Henry to fire the machine gun. Henry does, inadvertently hitting their own plane. | The dogfight is simpler -- Indy doesn't dart between pine trees -- and the joke is added of Indy screaming "Eleven o'clock!" and Henry checking his watch. | Simplifies a potentially complicated/expensive action sequence. The joke about Henry's misunderstanding not only adds some solid humor but makes Indy's task more difficult - he not only has fighters to evade but he has to work against his own father's confusion. | Simplifying an action bit. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
62 | Plane crash and car | Indy crashes the plane into the parking lot of a roadside tavern. A man is about to climb into his car. Indy shoves the man aside and steals the car. | Indy crashes the plane into a farmhouse. We cut to an old man who is repairing his car tire, about to put the hub cap back on. The wheel moves and the car drives away - then, wider, we see that Indy and Henry have stolen the car. | Adds some levity to the action sequence -- the bewildered perspective of an old man instead of Indy violently shoving a guy. Staying close on the tire and withholding what is happening for a moment makes the scene a touch more interesting (forcing us to catch up) than simply following Indy's every move. | Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
63 | Plane drops bomb | Henry remarks, "They don't come any closer than that!" Moments later the fighter plane drops a bomb directly in front of the car -- the car swerves, smashes through a guardrail and crashes onto a beach. | Same setup, but the car falls into the hole made by the bomb. Indy's response line, "Yes they do!" is cut. | Humorizes the action. The physical comedy of a car driving into a hole is more amusing than the car swerving and crashing. Another tip of the hat to editor Michael Kahn for further tightening the timing here in order to pull off the gag. Cutting Indy's line allows for the bomb itself, not Indy's words, to contradict Henry's statement - a cleaner reversal. | Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
64 | Seagulls | On the beach, Indy has one bullet left and the plane is banking back to finish them off. Henry takes the gun from Indy, and fires a shot at the seagulls, who take flight and cause the plane to crash. | Indy has no bullets left. Henry uses his umbrella and shouting to startle the gulls, causing them to take flight. | Puts our heroes in a more difficult bind - zero bullets rather than one. Forces Henry to use an existing prop (he's been carrying the umbrella all along) in an odd way, rather than the more mundane solution of a gun. | Increasing obstacles. Adding humor | |||||||||||||||||||||
65 | The Sultan of Hatay | Donovan meets with the Sultan, who explains that he is also after the grail (but does not explain why) and therefore prefers to compete rather than cooperate with Germany. Donovan trots out the captured Marcus Brody, and Elsa shows the Sultan the torn-out diary pages. Elsa explains that the pages pinpoint the exact location of the grail. She proposes that "we provide the map; you provide the camels." The Sultan agrees, and Kazim (who in this draft works for the Sultan, not for the Brotherhood) steps forward to assist the Nazis. Vogel catches up with his comrades, sharing the news that the Joneses have escaped. | Donovan and Vogel meet with the Sultan and show him the map, explaining that it pinpoints the grail's location. The Sultan shows no interest in the grail. Donovan nevertheless insists that Germany wouldn't dare cross the Sultan's borders, nor remove the grail from the Sultan's land, without compensation. He offers golden treasure, taken from "the finest families in Germany." The Sultan is more interested in Donovan's Rolls-Royce, and they make a bargain. The Sultan rattles off a list of supplies he'll provide, including tanks, to which Donovan replies, "You're welcome." Elsa then reveals that the Joneses have escaped. Kazim is seen at the court, as a "spy" -- and we already know that he secretly works for the Brotherhood. | Detaching the Sultan from the quest for the grail (by making him a disinterested party) simplifies the web of characters. The earlier draft has the Sultan (via his servant Kazim) and the Nazis both after the grail, but the Sultan's motivation is never explained and Kazim's motivation seems to later reverse itself when he suddenly voices condemnation that the Nazis and Joneses have desecrated the grail temple. It is cleaner and more logical for the Nazis to be after the grail and the Brotherhood to be trying to protect it -- therefore stripping the Sultan of any real motivation and leaving him as just a humorous "gatekeeper" character who sells the Nazis some vehicles. It is not strictly essential for the Sultan to exist in the revised version of this story. The Nazis could just use their own vehicles to navigate the desert, and the Sultan has no future appearance in the narrative. However, the scene has several benefits. After spending quite awhile following our heroes' escape from the Nazis, it gives us a chance to check back in with what our antagonists are up to. Donovan's brief explanation to the Sultan refreshes our memory of what the next steps are to find the grail. Pacing-wise, the calm dialogue scene gives us a breather after extended chase scenes, and it gives Indy and Henry "time" to travel from Europe to the Near East. The revised scene's references to stolen Jewish wealth deepens our hatred for the Nazi antagonists. The revised draft, having earlier reinvented Kazim's motivation, wisely finds a reason for him to appear here. Kazim's brief appearance reminds us that he's still out there, an obstacle to attaining the grail. | Clarifying and simplifying the motive of a character. Adding humor. Making the antagonist more unsavory. | |||||||||||||||||||||
66 | Sallah's driving | Sallah picks up Indy and Henry at the Iskenderun train station, drives them through the town. Henry scolds Sallah's wild driving and Indy introduces Sallah to Henry (but Sallah seems to already know him). | The scene starts with Indy and Henry already in Sallah's car as he drives through town. The scene is shorter. Henry's scolding and Sallah's introduction are cut. | This section of the script is structured to cross-cut between the Nazi progress and the Joneses progress of catching up with them. The purpose of this particular scene is simply to establish that Indy and Henry have arrived in Hatay and met up with Sallah, and to repeat out loud the status of their quest (that Brody was captured and the Nazis have the map), to remind the audience where everything stands. The final film, therefore, wisely keeps this scene terse by jettisoning the train station location (which was filmed but cut), as well as a not-terribly-funny joke about Sallah's driving and the unnecessary (and oddly late) introduction between Henry and Sallah. | Simplifying a utilitarian scene. Clarifying the protagonist's specific goal. | |||||||||||||||||||||
67 | Donovan's motivation | Before the tank battle begins, Donovan explains to Brody that he seeks the grail in order to establish "a new order of things" across Europe and America. | Donovan's motivations are withheld until the Grail Temple, where he explains to Indy that he seeks not Nazi victory but personal immortality. | Expounding his motivation to Indy rather than Brody pays off the Indy-Donovan relationship (arguably the third most central relationship), as opposed to a less meaningful admission to Brody. After all, it is Indy whom Donovan recruited, and therefore Indy who is owed an explanation for Donovan's deceit. The Grail Temple is a more dramatic story point for this explanation and helps build up to Donovan's desperate decision to shoot Henry. Making Donovan's motivation selfish (immortality) rather than political (Nazi expansion) makes his desire more emotional, more universal, and therefore more alarming - because we can see the allure of the grail and imagine ourselves tempted with such power. | Strengthening a character's motivation. Moving a character revelation to a more impactful moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
68 | Donovan offers Brody water | The screen direction describes that "Brody would rather spit in Donovan's face than to accept the canteen. But since he has no spit, he takes a drink." | This is upgraded to a line of dialogue. Brody actually replies to Donovan's offer: "I'd rather spit in your face. But as I haven't got any spit..." Unfortunately before Brody can drink, Vogel snatches away the canteen. | Gives explicit voice to a sentiment that would be difficult to act. | Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
69 | Tank fight | The action in and around the tank - before it flies off the cliff - lasts 4.5 pages. Sallah steals camels from the Nazis, while Indy slides down the hill and leaps onto the tank. Indy fights with Donovan while Sallah pulls Brody onto a camel, rescuing him. The tank driver flings a hook-and-rope at Indy, snags his pants, and tosses the other end onto the tank's tread. The rope pulls taut and drags Indy toward the tread, but it also causes the tank to turn towards a cliff. Indy uses another rope to catch Donovan by the ankle. As the tank clatters toward the cliff's edge, Indy and Donovan both plead with the other to free them, so they can both escape. Indy finally grabs a knife and plunges it at his own belt -- the tank sails off the cliff and when the dust clears we see that Indy has sliced his belt and pants to free himself. Sallah slaps Indy on the back joyfully and Indy's pants fall down. | The tank scene is expanded to 10 pages, and virtually rewritten from scratch. Kazim and his Brethren of the Cruciform Sword attack the Nazis. This gives Indy and Sallah a chance to steal some horses and camels. The Nazis mortally wound Kazim, and he warns them that the grail will bring to the unrighteous everlasting damnation. Kazim dies. Henry tries rescuing Brody from the tank, but Vogel catches them and forces them into the tank belly. Vogel interrogates Henry as to what secrets the diary holds, but Henry replies with an insult. Indy, on horseback, is fired upon by the tank. He tricks the tank into smashing into a Kubelwagen (a military jeep), which Vogel dislodges from the tank by ordering the gunner to fire the main cannon. Indy jams a stone into the tank's side gun, which then backfires. Indy leaps onto the tank and fights with Nazi soldiers (killing three with one bullet), then Vogel chokes him with a chain. Indy drops his gun into the tank for Henry to take, but Henry and a soldier struggle for it. Henry uses his fountain pen to squirt ink into the soldier's eye. Henry and Brody climb out of the tank. Indy struggles with Vogel, accidentally knocking Brody off the tank. Henry falls onto the tank's tread and Indy saves him with his whip. Sallah rides up alongside and rescues Henry. The tank flies off the cliff and when the dust clears we see that Indy has jumped to safety at the last moment and clung to a root. | Expands the scene from a limited rescue operation to a dense action sequence loaded with fights, stunts, jokes, near-deaths, and character-deepening insights. The earlier draft is heavily front-loaded with action in Act 1, but its action in the last third of the script is light. The revised draft, having chipped away at numerous scenes earlier in the story, here shifts the balance of action by lengthening and complicating both this tank scene and the coming temple scenes. The tank scene as filmed is 90% brand new material compared to the Boam draft. The addition of ample humor in this scene solidifies the tone of the new draft to be lighter, more fun, and more family-friendly than the earlier version. A roller-coaster rhythm provides the structure of this new action - first our guys try to rescue Brody but then Henry gets captured, doubling the stakes, while Indy fluctuates between offense and defense as he takes on the tank and Vogel. The punching and shooting is interspersed with calmer moments of witty dialogue and quest-related inquiries about the diary. Kazim and his brethren's attempt to derail the Nazis concludes that third-party plot while complicating an otherwise predictable start to the sequence. Getting Henry and Brody involved in the action provides much amusement and strengthens both characters. | Expanding and complicating an action scene. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
70 | Henry & Brody's greeting | N/A | Henry and Brody greet one another by reciting an esoteric rhyme (described in the script as "an old University Club toast"). | Adds to our understanding of Henry and Brody's relationship by demonstrating that they have a strong past: their recitation of this "toast" is a muscle memory, the way two old friends would never forget a boyhood chant or song. | Adding a sense of two characters' backstory. | |||||||||||||||||||||
71 | Donovan's and Vogel's deaths | Donovan dies in the tank crash. | Vogel dies in the tank crash; Donovan is absent most of the tank fight scene. | Donovan is our original antagonist in the story: he recruited, exploited, and betrayed both Indy and Henry - it is he who heads the Nazi's quest for the grail. While his character is less developed and less exciting than Elsa's, he is certainly more developed than Vogel and outranks him in the narrative hierarchy. Typical story structure requires that the antagonists be killed off in ascending order of importance. This tends to be more satisfactory for the audience, because the more senior antagonists' goals are better known to us (and usually more sinister) and therefore their demises will resonate as a greater triumph for the protagonist. As such, Stoppard's draft swaps Donovan for Vogel here. Killing Donovan before the third act might have deflated the suspense a bit, because we are waiting for Donovan to get what's coming to him, and if he's suddenly out of the picture then there's one less hanging question leading up to the climax. Keeping him alive maximizes the opposition to Indy, and by extension maximizes our interest through the rest of the film. Another effect of keeping Donovan alive is that the third act represents less Indy-versus-Nazis but rather two clashing versions of archaeology. Donovan and Elsa are both interested in history first, and Nazis second, and their personal greed for the grail's power contrasts Indy's (and especially Henry's) belief in the cultural and ethical value of archaeology -- to honor and learn from history. It is also more fitting for Vogel, the soldier, to die in a tank and leave Donovan to be slain by the very object of his desire. | Swapping the order in which antagonists die, to maximize suspense by keeping the superior antagonist alive until the final showdown. | |||||||||||||||||||||
72 | Five minutes would have been enough | When Henry thinks Indy is dead, he remains quiet. | Henry voices his grief: "I've lost him. And I never told him anything. I just wasn't ready, Marcus. Five minutes would have been enough." | Allows the moment of hopelessness to linger. Henry's apparent regret at not having taught his son anything is a sweet reversal to Henry's heretofore stubbornly-formal parenting, and an admission that maybe Indy was right about them never talking. On the heels of this sentiment, the humorous afterthought of quantifying the time he would have wanted (and such a short time at that) confirms that Henry is as emotional as a Byzantine mosaic. | Adding voice to a character's thoughts during an emotional moment. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
73 | Named after the dog | After Henry hugs Indy, we learn that Indy's named is Henry Jones, Jr., and that Indiana was the dog's name. | This information is saved for the final joke in the film, just before they ride off into the sunset. | Aside from meeting Indy's father, this is the most amusing new information we learn about Indy's character. Saving it for the end not only hastens the pace of this cliffside moment (which has already paused the action long enough) but in terms of jokes, saves the best for last. By placing it dead last, a hanging question is preserved for the entire third act (Why is Henry calling him Junior if his name is Indiana?) which subtly adds to our desire to reach the end. Likely, this information was originally placed before the temple sequence in order to establish that Indy hates the name Junior - a fact not mentioned in the earlier draft until this scene. Stoppard solves this by sprinkling "Junior" into various lines of Henry's dialogue throughout, beginning with the castle scene when Indy first finds Henry and shouts "I told you - don't call me Junior!" | Moving a joke to a more fitting place. | |||||||||||||||||||||
74 | The Canyon of the Crescent Moon | The Nazis detonate dynamite, blowing apart a mountain, in order to reveal the entrance to the secret canyon. | No dynamite. They simply locate the canyon and ride in. | The Boam version was filmed but cut during the edit, which streamlines the narrative. | Simplifying a moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
75 | Arthurian comparison | As our heroes stand outside the temple, Henry comments that the four of them resemble the four grail heroes of legend: Bors (Sallah), Perceval (Brody), Galahad (Indy), and Galahad's father Lancelot (Henry). Henry is worried that he is not worthy to enter the temple, then reminds them that it was Galahad who succeeded where his father has failed. Indy promises, "I won't let you down." | This is cut. | Removes an interesting though undramatic insight, one that stagnates the pace of action. | Removing a superfluous moment. | |||||||||||||||||||||
76 | Vogel decapitated | Vogel is the first person we see to attempt to enter the inner temple - although he passes the headless body of dead Turkish soldier - and he is decapitated by the blade. | Vogel is already dead, having tumbled off the cliff in the tank. A Turkish soldier takes his place being decapitated. | Dramatically falling off a cliff is a more spectacular way for our chief Nazi to die than being suddenly decapitated. Since the Nazis are forcing the Turks to walk into the blade, our disgust for the antagonists is deepened. | Swapping a character's death scene so that his demise is more dramatic. | |||||||||||||||||||||
77 | Indy kisses Elsa | When Indy and his pals are captured by the Nazis in the temple, and Elsa sees that he is alive, she kisses him and he kisses back. | Elsa is visibly pleased to see Indy but speaks coldly to him. They do not kiss. | Maintains believable character reactions. Elsa is far more interested in the grail than in Indy. Indy would not kiss her back given the dire circumstances. | Removing an irrational character choice. | |||||||||||||||||||||
78 | Kazim turns on them | Kazim (still alive in this draft) and his Turkish soldiers raise their guns against our heroes (and presumably Elsa). Kazim denounces them for having "desecrated this holy place" and lights a powder fuse which leads to a pile of explosives. He announces that this temple will be their tomb. Sallah and Indy attack. The fight scene is only partially written: "Details to be worked out. This much we know: As quickly as the soldiers re-ignite the powder, Indy or Sallah put it out." Indy throws his fedora, like a frisbee, at the last minute to extinguish the fuse. By the end, Kazim and his men are knocked out cold. | This is cut. | Wrapping up the Kazim plot earlier (by having him attack the tank convoy and die in the gunfight) cleans up the narrative going into our final stretch: now it is just the Jonses, the Nazis, and the grail. Kazim is a marginal player in the plot and having him now rise to be a major obstacle for Indy takes us farther from the story's spine. The fight scene could have been quite humorous, but by scrapping it, the revised draft opens up time to add more steps to the temple riddles (see below) which challenges Indy's faith and intellect rather than simply his brawn (which by now has been amply demonstrated). So, rather than another fist-fighting scene on the heels of an extended physical battle at the tank, the temple conflict focuses on the grail-versus-Indy. | Removing an action scene to make room for a puzzle-solving scene. Tying up a sub-plot earlier to focus the plot's attention during the final act. | |||||||||||||||||||||
79 | Shooting Henry | Elsa waxes philosophically about her desire for eternal life so that she can live through the coming history of mankind and witness what the future will bring. She demands that Indy retrieve the grail for her, and when he refuses, she shoots Henry in the chest. | Donovan instead of Elsa pulls the gun on Indy. He explains that he wants the grail for himself, to have eternal life. When Indy remarks that "shooting me won't get you anywhere," Donovan agrees and shoots Henry just below the ribs. Elsa screams "No!" but Donovan prevents her from rushing to help. | Casts Elsa as a softer antagonist, sensitive to violence and still caring about Indy and Henry, rather than a greed-blind murderer. Raises Donovan's character to the status of a cold-blooded killer. Preserving Donovan into the third act and having him shoot Henry cements our hatred for him as the antagonist, making his impending demise all the more gratifying to us. It also brings his status as patron full circle: first hiring Henry, then leveraging Henry's disappearance to impel Indy to join the quest ("find the grail, and you'll find the man"), and now compelling Indy to retrieve the grail to save Henry. Practically, moving Henry's wound from his chest to his belly allows him to speak during the coming sequence as Indy navigates the riddles. | Making an antagonist more unsavory. | |||||||||||||||||||||
80 | The first challenge: the breath of God | As Indy approaches the decapitating device, he reads the grail diary: "Three paces from the Shield of St. George. Feel the breath of God and advance." Indy walks up to where there is a floor mosaic depicting St. George killing the dragon. From there he takes three paces, and waits. The blade swings and knocks off his hat and slices through his leather pouch. Indy advances, observing that a razor-sharp pendulum is to blame. | The diary instead reads: "The breath of God. Only the penitent man will pass." Indy guesses that this means to kneel before God - in other words, to duck! He ducks and rolls forward. He sees that a razor-sharp triple pendulum is to blame, and he jams a rope in the wheels that control the blade, halting the swinging blades. | It is unclear what connection the St. George legend has to the grail, other than themes of faith and healing. In the Boam draft, Henry has essentially found a "key" to pass through this door. Indy uses that key, and it works - there is no struggle. Stoppard opts instead to base the challenges around Indy's faith rather than a random legend, and Henry has discovered less of a key than a clue. Indy has to decipher this clue. This forces Indy to use his knowledge of religion to answer a riddle - which is more dramatic than watching him just follow a map. | Making the protagonist's obstacle more difficult. Promoting a generic obstacle to one that is more meaningful to the protagonist. | |||||||||||||||||||||
81 | The second and third challenges | These challenges do not exist. Once Indy passes the pendulum he arrives straight into the chalice room. | Indy must pass two more challenges: the Word of God and the Path of God. First he must jump from stone-to-stone, spelling out the name of God, Jehovah (but in Latin, beginning with an "I"). Then he must take a leap of faith and cross a gaping abyss, which is bridged by a stone walkway painted to look invisible. | Helps expand the third act into a more meaningful journey for Indy, by challenging first his knowledge of Christianity and then his very faith itself (a major theme of the franchise and character). The leap of faith is a particularly intimate obstacle for Indy, and an insight into his character. From an adventure perspective, tripling the number of challenges (and making the first one more difficult) makes Indy work harder to attain the grail. | Adding obstacles the protagonist must overcome. Challenging the beliefs of the protagonist. | |||||||||||||||||||||
82 | Intercutting Indy and Henry | We stay with Indy as he beats the challenge. | We intercut between father and son. Henry, who knows the clues by heart and speaks aloud, faces the challenges vicariously through Indy. | Vocalizes and clarifies the riddles that Indy faces. Increases the pressure on Indy by showing Henry suffering and dying. Folds Henry into this final step of the journey, completing his lifelong quest to find the grail. Deepens the connection between father and son by having them face these challenges together. Adds suspense by drawing out the moments. Adds humor by intercutting Henry's knowledge versus Indy's momentary forgetfulness. | Increasing tension. Adding a culmination to a character's journey. Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
83 | Grail Knight gives combat | The Grail Knight welcomes Indy. | The Grail Knight, despite his extreme old age, "gives combat" to Indy by swinging a huge broadsword clumsily before submitting to "defeat". | Adds humor and a surprise twist. Bolster's the knight's character. | Adding humor. | |||||||||||||||||||||
84 | Choosing poorly | Indy selects a simple earthenware jug. Just then Elsa enters, exclaims "I see it!" and selects an emerald-encrusted goblet. She scoffs at Indy's choice, fills her chalice with water, drinks... and then rapidly ages until only her skeleton remains. | Elsa and Donovan enter the chalice room. Donovan wonders which cup is the grail but admits he is not a historian. Elsa offers to choose for him and gives a knowing glance to Indy. She selects a the fancy goblet and Donovan drinks, and dies. Elsa then admits that "it would not be made of solid gold." Indy sees the simple earthenware jug and selects it. | Gives our chief villain a fitting demise - his ignorance of history opens the door for Elsa to trick him. Solves an inconsistency in Elsa's character (if she is a historian well-versed in grail lore, why does she choose the wrong cup?). Adds a turning point for Elsa's character, in which she finally decides to turn against Donovan and re-ally herself with Indy. This helps distinguish Donovan's character from Elsa's; otherwise, both follow roughly the same track of betraying Indy and never regretting it. The Boam draft clearly pits Elsa as the chief villain during the final stretch: it is she who survives into Act 3, shoots Henry, and drinks from the false grail. Stoppard's draft promotes Donovan and gives Elsa a more nuanced arc, thus creating a more interesting dynamic. | Swapping a character's death scene to give the more senior villain a more dramatic demise. Adding a twist to a character's arc. | |||||||||||||||||||||
85 | Elsa falls into the abyss | Elsa has already died, having drunk from the false grail. | As the temple collapses, Elsa falls into the crevasse and and hangs on with one hand. Indy tries pulling her up, but needs her other hand. She tries instead to grab the grail, slips and falls into the abyss. Indy then falls and clings to the edge, in the exact same position Elsa was in. | Provides a fitting demise for Elsa: her greed and lack of respect for the grail spell her doom. Demonstrates the threat posed to Indy when he takes his turn hanging from the edge: we've seen what happened to Elsa so we know what might happen to Indy. The repetition of Elsa then Indy facing the same choice cleanly delineates their core characters. | Adding a repeated moment to increase suspense. | |||||||||||||||||||||
86 | Indiana, let it go | Henry calls Indy by his preferred nickname, for the only time in his life, to get his son's attention and save his life. | Same moment, but Henry calls Indy "Junior" once more time before calling him Indiana. | Because Stoppard has peppered in repeated instances of Henry calling Indy "Junior" throughout the script, and has strengthened the father-son bond through conversations and insights between them, the impact here of "Indiana" is much stronger. | Preceding a surprising detail with yet another instance of the expected detail to sharpen the contrast and heighten the surprise. | |||||||||||||||||||||
87 | Grail Knight dies | As the temple collapses, the Grail Knight is seen slumped on the ground, a skeleton within his now-tattered costume, and sand pouring from his sleeves and boots. | This is cut. The Grail Knight watches our heroes leave and is presumably entombed in the temple. | Removes an odd detail that would confuse our understanding of the grail's power over the Knight. Perhaps this image was meant to suggest that, because the grail is lost, the Knight's longevity is instantly canceled and he becomes his true age of 700 years old. But this prompts the question of what impact the grail's loss will have on Indy and Henry, who both drank from it. It adds little but confusion to the story, and is therefore removed. | Removing superfluous moments. | |||||||||||||||||||||
88 | Canyon collapses | Not only the temple but the entire secret canyon collapses, and our heroes must escape on horseback just in time before the canyon entrance is sealed. | This is cut. | Removes a final step to their escape. Sets up the joke of Brody knowing the way out of the canyon. | Removing an action bit. Setting up a joke. | |||||||||||||||||||||
89 | Closing dialogue | Brody points out that they have no water and wonders if they'll make it back before the heat of midday. Sallah replies that they can, "If we ride like the devil himself was on our tail." Indy adds, "And maybe he is." Henry gives his son a questioning look. Indy answers with an ironic, conspiratorial smile. He then spurs his horse forward and they ride into the sunset. | Henry comments that "Elsa never really believed in the grail. She thought she'd found a prize." Indy asks what Henry found and Henry answers, "Illumination," before asking, "What did you find, Junior?" Then comes the joke about Indy preferring "Indiana" and Henry remarking that the dog was named Indiana. Brody then rides off, bidding them to follow, saying "I know the way!" Henry turns to Indy and asks, "Got lost in his own museum, huh?" Indy affirms it, and Henry says, "After you, Junior." Indy replies, "Yes sir!" and rides off. | Boam's dialogue is a terser ending that leaves an air of suspense to the story: they still have one last challenge to undertake, though we can safely assume they'll make it through just fine. However, Indy's remark and glance at Henry are enigmatic, which will likely leave the audience confused rather than satisfied. Stoppard scraps this and lets the denouement linger awhile longer, and centers it on the characters rather than the situation. Henry's remark about Elsa spells out the moral of her story. Moving the named-after-the-dog joke to here sends us out of the theater on a jovial note, providing a humorous catharsis after all the drama has concluded. Adding the joke about Brody's sense of direction further lightens the scene, but moreover, it cues Henry to opt to follow Indy, which demonstrates the newfound respect and trust he has developed for his son. | Refining the dialogue. Ending the story on a humorous note. Adding closure to two characters' relationship arc. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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