2nd period APUSH
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Weak counterpoint BODY: Topic sentences inconsistent. Only one told me your main point and restated the position from the thesis. Argument good
INTRO: Too brief THESIS: Good BODY: Good topic sentences and argument
INTRO: Watch grammar, too brief THESIS: Good BODY: Paragraphs too brief to make your argument. Topic sentences good. Good evidence, just not discussed in enough detail.
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Good BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of facts and assertion of position.
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be a pattern just like main points BODY: Each paragraph should examine a difference, one of your main points, not focus on one nation
INTRO: A little brief THESIS: Drop phrases that take your thesis off point, like "in response to" if it's not a causation essay BODY: Good topic sentences. Good connections of facts to argument
INTRO: Awkward first sentence, but the rest is ok THESIS: Watch grammar, counterpoint needs to be the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of facts in argument
Gonzales, Laurenz Luke
INTRO: Watch grammar, past tense! THESIS: Make sure you are arguing what the question asks, in this case outcomes instead of beliefs or causes BODY: Restate position in topic sentences. Need to deal with all countries in each paragraph
INTRO: Awkward first sentence, brief THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence to argue
INTRO: Bit brief THESIS: Great! BODY: What is finished is very good. Good topic sentences and use of evidence
INTRO: Good THESIS: Awkward phrasing, not sure about point 3 "creation" of religions? BODY: Make sure you are stating your position in topic sentences. Good use of evidence in argument
INTRO: Too brief THESIS: Too many extra facts. Use that stuff in your intro and keep the thesis lean BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence!
INTRO: Watch out for circular logic! THESIS: Counterargument needs to be same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences. Avoid scare quotes. Good use of evidence
INTRO: Awkward phrasing. Avoid generalizations on outcomes THESIS: Never say things like "would not be what they are today." Doesn't address question of difference. BODY: Topic sentences also do not address difference. Paragraphs, however, make good arguments with evidence. Watch grammar!
INTRO: Just saying the same thing multiple times THESIS: Good BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence
INTRO: Brief and repetitive of thesis THESIS: Good! BODY: Good topic sentences and evidence, but make sure you are reasserting the idea of differences if that's what you are arguing
INTRO: Awkward phrasing. THESIS: Good! BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of evidence for argument!
INTRO: Good THESIS: Good! BODY: What you finished is good. Good topic sentences and reassertion of difference with your evidence
INTRO: Capitalization & grammar THESIS: Good BODY: Good topic sentences. Make sure you are discussing each nation you compare in sufficient detail. Make sure all evidence is relevant to the argument.
INTRO: Good! THESIS: Good as well! BODY: Make sure topic sentences restate position from thesis. Good use of evidence to argue
INTRO: Awkward second sentence and transition to thesis. THESIS: Don't understand your counterpoint BODY: First topic sentence did not introduce topic or restate position, others did well. Good use of you evidence
INTRO: Good! THESIS: Good as well! BODY: Good topic sentences and good use of evidence to argue
INTRO: Good THESIS: Make sure counterpoint is in the same form as main points. BODY: Second and third topic sentences were good, but the first didn't restate thesis position. Good evidence, but a little brief in the analysis
INTRO: Grammar. Brief and uses details that should be in body paragraphs. THESIS: Good, but point three may be a bit weak BODY: Topic sentences do not restate thesis position. Make sure that you are using evidence to argue, not just listing.
INTRO: Good! THESIS: Good too! BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence in argument but make sure you are expressing difference throughout the paragraph to strengthen argument
INTRO: Good! THESIS: Very Good! BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of evidence in argument, but if you include specific people, make sure they are correctly identified (las Casas)
INTRO: Brief an not always connected to topic THESIS: Needs to be one sentence! Categories are broad, try using a descriptor to make them more specific and narrow. BODY: Good topic sentences. Good evidence, but analysis is very brief.
INTRO: Awkward phrasing and brief THESIS: Counterpoint is not exactly accurate BODY: Topic sentences need to restate thesis position. Good use of evidence to argue
INTRO: Be careful about generalizations THESIS: Counterargument needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Topic sentence in first paragraph needs to be like the onein paragraph three. Though you use good evidence, the analysis is too brief for your argument.
INTRO: Awkward phrasing THESIS: Lots of extra words like "different reasons the ways and extents" instead of "different patterns" BODY: Topic sentences, while doing what they should, are also unnecessarily wordy. Make sure you are discussing what your thesis says and not motivations.
INTRO: Awkward phrasing THESIS: Good BODY: Indents! Topic sentences good and good use of evidence for argument