You've Got Questions: What books, movies, music, podcasts) do you recommend about mother/child relationships? (Responses)
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What books, movies, music, or podcasts do you recommend about mother/child relationships?
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10/25/2019 9:19:58
Are You My Mother by Alison Bechdel. Fun Home gets a lot (rightfully earned) attention, but Are My Mother is just as great and all about kid/mom relationships.
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10/25/2019 9:21:51
When We Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams
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10/25/2019 9:22:15
The Mothers by Brit Bennett
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10/25/2019 9:22:44
The End of Eve by Ariel Gore (book)
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10/25/2019 9:24:14
Lady Bird, even though my mom refuses to watch it with me.
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10/25/2019 9:25:22
What My Mother and I Don't Talk About edited by Michele Filgate and Boy Snow Bird by Helen Oyeyemi
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10/25/2019 9:26:00
Motherhood by Shelia Heiti
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10/25/2019 9:26:41
The Cut on Tuesday podcast episode Call Your Mom (May 14 2019)
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10/25/2019 9:28:47
Now My Heart is Full by Laura June
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10/25/2019 9:29:33Lady Bird
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10/25/2019 9:29:57
I’m Supposed to Protect You from All This by Nadja Spigelman!
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10/25/2019 9:30:24
"Are You My Mother?" by Alison Bechdel
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10/25/2019 9:32:28
Sheila Heti ‘Motherhood’
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10/25/2019 9:36:56
Lucy Dacus - My Mother & I
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10/25/2019 9:38:03
I wrote a book about my mom called: My Fucking Mother https://www.amazon.com/My-ing-Mother-Serena-Robinett-ebook/dp/B07LFP3FT6
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10/25/2019 9:38:33
Book: Memoir of a Gulag Actress by Tamara Petkevich, b. 1920 (published in English in 2010)
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10/25/2019 9:38:56
The Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin
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10/25/2019 9:42:21
The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock
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10/25/2019 9:49:35
Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou or Letter to My Daughter by Maya Angelou
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10/25/2019 9:50:29
Sarah Manguso's "Ongoingness." Gorgeous meditation on time and self, and how motherhood impacts both of those things. I've given a copy as a gift to each of my friends who has had a baby in the last few years.
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10/25/2019 9:55:33
Beloved, Rachel Getting Married,
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10/25/2019 9:57:12
the 1995 Dutch film Antonia's Line
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10/25/2019 9:58:30
Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama by Alison Bechdel
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10/25/2019 10:00:09Baby boom
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10/25/2019 10:01:56
Soucouyant by David Chariandy
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10/25/2019 10:05:29
Esther Perel's podcast "Where Should We Begin" deals with romantic relationships, but I think the truths she pulls out of her subjects can apply to all sort of relationship dynamics.
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10/25/2019 10:07:53
Beginners movie -- explores relationships with both parents but maternal denial and neglect feature heavily. This is also my favorite movie :)
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10/25/2019 10:11:30
The book Anywhere but Here by Mona Simpson
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10/25/2019 10:14:36
Between Here and April by Deborah Copaken
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10/25/2019 10:28:37
I just finished "Understanding the Borderline Mother" by Christine Ann Lawson and it was eye opening to say the least.
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10/25/2019 10:33:05
Alison Bechdel's graphic novel "Are You My Mother?" is beyond amazing. I gave my therapist a copy and we spent like 6 months on it.

(The O.G. kids' book of the same title is OK too)
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10/25/2019 10:35:11
And Now We Have Everything by Meaghan O'Connell
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10/25/2019 10:43:52
Haven't read it myself yet but Sherman Alexie's "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me."
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10/25/2019 10:47:4020th Century Women!
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10/25/2019 10:49:52
While I don't know the nature of the complication (hopefully just garden variety mother/child stuff), a few books I found helpful in exploring my traumatic childhood experiences with my mother are:

Will I Ever Be Good Enough?: Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers by Karyl McBride

Revolution from Within by Gloria Steinem
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10/25/2019 10:56:21
Rupi Kaur's poetry about her mother/daughter relationship. https://aspeth.com/products/my-mothers-soul
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10/25/2019 10:58:04
The Cut on Tuesdays podcast episode "Call Your Mom." I laughed and cried and, after some procrastination, I called my mom too.
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10/25/2019 11:00:44
Vivian Gornick's Fierce Attachment
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10/25/2019 11:07:09
Throw away unopened - Viv Albertine
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10/25/2019 11:07:56
Are you my mother - Alison bechdel
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10/25/2019 11:08:10
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/deathsexmoney/episodes/uma-kondabolu-death-sex-money
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10/25/2019 11:27:15
selected essays from Tiny Beautiful Things/Dear Sugar archives
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10/25/2019 11:27:18
Are You My Mother? Original board book with the bird and graphic novel by Alison Bechdel
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10/25/2019 11:31:33
Motherhood, by Sheila Heti
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10/25/2019 11:46:18
https://whohaha.com/maria-bamford-lotion/
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10/25/2019 11:48:17
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
by Karyl McBride
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10/25/2019 11:55:27Lady Bird
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10/25/2019 11:59:34
The r/JUSTNOMIL subreddit has a reading list https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/books
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10/25/2019 12:00:04
"The Memory Palace" by Mira Bartok
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10/25/2019 12:00:25
"Of Woman Born" by Adrienne Rich
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10/25/2019 12:00:48
"Will I ever Be good enough" by Cheryl McBride
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10/25/2019 12:06:39
Mothers who can't love by susan forward
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10/25/2019 12:08:25
This website helped me on my gestalt path to understanding my mother, my childhood and my issues. So many thoughts and I’m still unpacking a lot of heavy, yet invisible baggage: https://womboflight.com/when-shame-feels-mothering-the-tragedy-of-parentified-daughters
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10/25/2019 12:12:06
how about an instagram feed? I find her posts very helpful. I broke up with my mother because she is a raging narcissist. https://www.instagram.com/breakupwithyourmother/
Also the book It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn is about inherited family trauma and has given me some peace and empathy towards my female lineage.
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10/25/2019 12:13:01
Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
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10/25/2019 12:14:36
Ladybird and Terms of Endearment!
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10/25/2019 12:21:28
What My Mother and I Don't Talk About is probably an obvious choice but amazing.
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10/25/2019 12:26:41
Grace & Frankie! Less for the relationships themself and more to best conceptualize our aging mothers as complex humans with real desires.
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10/25/2019 12:31:44
Movies: Lady Bird, Kramer vs. Kramer, Todo sobre mi madre. Books: The Mothers, Bastard Out of Carolina, Everything I Never Told You, Beloved
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10/25/2019 12:32:22
Sofia Bush's new podcast discusses this!
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10/25/2019 12:32:36
Book: In her image: the unhealed daughter's search for her mother by Kathie Carlson. Archetypal work: https://carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog/2019/03/13/the-mother-archetype/#.XbNNiJNKgWo
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10/25/2019 12:33:19
I don't know what says about me (or my mom, who I promise I love dearly) that the first two things that popped into my head were Beloved and Medea.
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10/25/2019 12:36:15
20th century women (movie)
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10/25/2019 12:47:20
First off, I feel you OP, and bless you Ann Friedman for accepting this question. I hope you'll post selected answers for all of us. I had several eye-opening moments reading Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson. The short stories of Alice Munro, more obliquely, have brought me some insight and comfort. If you want some sugary escape fantasy, I love watching the show GOOD BONES (home improvement stuff) to see an easy and loving mom/daughter relationship. There's an episode of Queer Eye this season about a step team drill leader, god, it was so strange how much she loved her team but couldn't open up with her own daughters. My mother loves strangers and her students but is incredibly withholding with her own children. Another good self-help tome is Difficult Mothers by Terri Apter. And Will I Ever Be Good Enough? by Karyl McBride. Self-help books can be very soothing bc they're validating, but somehow they don't feel as real to me as representations of mom/daughter relationships on screen or in fiction. I fell down a few subreddit rabbit holes on borderline personality disorders, which can be both helpful and painful. If you're looking for laughs, try r/justnoMIL. Ugh. I am sending you support. I guess my entire response presupposes you have a tough relationship and are suffering. Maybe you don't and aren't. My mother will be a mystery to me until the day she dies. It can be so difficult to feel like a real person un-refracted through her weird lens. Wishing you peace and luck and etc and etc. Or maybe just a lot of curiosity. It helped me.
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10/25/2019 12:50:02THERAPY!
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10/25/2019 12:54:48
Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel
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10/25/2019 13:05:07
Gilmore Girl, Parenthood, Stepmom
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10/25/2019 13:11:12The Parent Trap
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10/25/2019 13:27:20Ladybird
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10/25/2019 13:30:33
"daughters of narcissistic mothers." Googling this search term will bring up a goldmine of useful articles, support forums, newsletters that might resonate around a healing process. Good luck to this woman. <3
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10/25/2019 13:39:53
Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration
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10/25/2019 13:55:44
Mother Daughter Wisdom By Christianne Northup
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10/25/2019 13:59:30Lady bird
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10/25/2019 13:59:42Step mom
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10/25/2019 14:01:41Mermaids
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10/25/2019 14:05:55Dumplin
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10/25/2019 14:53:23
Heavy by Kiese Laymon
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10/25/2019 15:55:33
https://womboflight.com/ - Bethany Webster discusses "The Mother Wound." From her site: "What exactly is the Mother Wound?

The Mother Wound is the pain of being a woman passed down through generations of women in patriarchal cultures. And it includes the dysfunctional coping mechanisms that are used to process that pain."

I first found her through an interview with one of my favorites - Toko-pa. She also addresses something similar, The Death Mother, in her book Belonging. It's more of a mythological and healing perspective on mother/daughter relationships.
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10/25/2019 16:00:36
Longest Shortest Time, the Bridgertons (yes, a romance novel series, but the mother here is one of my favorite adopted moms of literature), No One Tells You This, Wives and Daughters, Matilda, Little Women, Anne of Green Gables, Ladybird
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10/25/2019 16:06:29
Eastern Body, Western Mind
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10/25/2019 16:11:58
Broken Earth trilogy by N.K. Jemisin
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10/25/2019 16:29:47
Alison Bechdel's Are You My Mother
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10/25/2019 16:30:31
why be happy when you could be normal?
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10/25/2019 16:50:34
The Joy Luck Club (film); this terrible-ish novel called I’ll Be There, which is the sequel to Beaches and tells the story of what happens after the Barbara Hershey character dies and the Bette Midler character adopts her kid; Where’d You Go, Bernadette? (novel) for the daughter perspective.
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10/25/2019 17:04:07
Given that I learned about her from this newsletter, I'm sure I won't be the first to suggest Cheryl Strayed - both Wild and Dear Sugar.
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10/25/2019 17:47:14
Imitation of Life (Sirk, 1959) beautiful movie, complicated mother/daughter relationship
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10/25/2019 17:50:54
Complaints of a dutiful daughter, Ladybird
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10/25/2019 18:01:56
Red Table Talk (Jada Pinkett Smith’s talk show), a lot of wisdom in there
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10/25/2019 18:07:25
Fierce Attachments is hard to read but my favorite Engl Prof had us read it and write about our moms and it was one of hardest/best things I've ever written
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10/25/2019 18:14:37
The Red Tent and the children's book Love You Forever (which makes me cry to this day).
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10/25/2019 18:42:46
‘Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking’, by Susan Cain. Changed this extrovert’s relationship with her introverted mother.
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10/25/2019 19:40:27
The Dutch House by Ann Patchett
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10/25/2019 19:41:24
April’s Daughter (film, 2017)
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10/25/2019 19:53:42
Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
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10/25/2019 20:44:18
“No one tells you this” by Glynnis Macnicol (autobiography)
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10/25/2019 20:45:03
Book: The Motherland (by Elissa Altman)
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10/25/2019 23:14:44
Sufjan Stevens' album "Carrie and Lowell"
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10/25/2019 23:15:02
Hot Milk (novel by Deborah Levy)
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10/26/2019 1:01:13
Can We Talk About Something More Pleasant by Roz Chast
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