4th period essay notes.csv
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Section:4(A-B) AP United States History
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Student Name
Student Number
Notes:
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Andreini, Anthony
9253462
INTRO: Brief THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Topic sentences good. Analysis and evidence thin
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Bazooband, Tina
9248352
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Brown, Taylor9246806
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Catalan, Renzo9422986
INTRO: Brief THESIS: Good, but cut out extra wording BODY: Tie topic sentences back to thesis position. Spend equitable time on each natino in a parageaph to make a solid comparison
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Chou, Eden1282341154
INTRO: Good THESIS: Don't say "as an outcome" because that means you are talking about causes BODY: Tie topic sentences to thesis position. Goiod use of evidence
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Dalberth, Alexander
9250415
INTRO: Too brief THESIS: Missing counterargument BODY: Topic sentences should indicate the main point discussed in that paragraph and tie to the thesis position. Analysis far too brief
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Deanhardt, Allison
9242541
INTRO: Travelling too far outside the topic THESIS: Good BODY: Topic sentences should indicate the main point discussed in that paragraph and tie to the thesis position. Analysis too brief
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Edwards, Angelica
9251201
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Missing counterpoint,should be one sentence BODY: Topic sentences phrased awkwardly. Good use of evidence
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Fitzgerald, Andrew
9250467
INTRO: Good, until repetitive last sentence THESIS: Should be one sentence BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence
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Guan, Haoyu2695743238
INTRO: Good THESIS: Good but make counterpoint the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences and argument from evidence
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Hafiz, Asma9230674
INTRO: Good, but save some of those facts for the body THESIS: Good BODY: Watch capitalization and grammar. Topic sentences are good as is analysis of evidence for argument
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Healy, John9247617
INTRO: Good THESIS: Good as well BODY: Good topic sentences. Analysis a little brief and thin
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Ho, Justin9440235
INTRO: Awkward phrasing THESIS: Good BODY: Good but wordy, be more direct. Good use of evidence.
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Hunter, Abigail9254765
INTRO: Awkward phrasing THESIS: Should be the last sentence of intro and needs counterargument BODY: 1st and 3rd Topic sentences good but 2nd doesn't state topic and thesis position. Analysis far too brief in 1st paragraph, good elsewhere
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Issa, Samer9244571
INTRO: Good THESIS: Counterpoint should be in same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of evidence
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Jean Morales, Alexis
12511205
INTRO: Good! THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences. Spend equitable amounts of time in each paragraph on each nation to pursue comparison
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Kennedy, Erin9282899
INTRO: Stay on topic leadin to the thesis THESIS: Don't see one BODY: Topic sentences good, why were these not in a thesis? Good use of evidence as well. Missing a third point
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Kitchings, Sarah
9254893
INTRO: Watch out for hyperbolic gerenalizations ("No one had ever seen before") THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Watch capitalization. Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Good use of evidence
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Kowae, Megan9331519
INTRO: Capitalization. No other problems THESIS: Good BODY: Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Good use of evidence
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Lohar, Vijay9297499
INTRO: Good but brief THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence
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Longakit, Gabrielle
1859030
INTRO: Good THESIS: Good BODY: Good topic sentences and argumentation
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Manocha, Anna9252876
INTRO: Watch grammar, otherwise good THESIS: Counterpoint should be in the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence
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Patel, Kaiwal5247612469
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Patetta, Natalie9243156
INTRO: No major problems THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences and argument with evidence
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Petersen, Sean9400866
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Counterpoint needs to be in the same form as main points BODY: Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Good use of evidence, except your seond paragraph is thin
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Peykamian, Layla
9251771
INTRO: Good THESIS: Awkward phrasing of main points but otherwise good BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of evidence
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Rally, Anika9251836
INTRO: A bit brief but good THESIS: Drop the "and formed the basis…" phrase. Keep thesis lean and direct BODY: Good topic sentences and use of evidence in argument
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Sprink, Justin9255771
INTRO: Good THESIS: Good, except don't beafraid to use words from the question, like "patterns" instead of "paths" which is awkward BODY: Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Good use of evidence. Watch capitalization and grammar!
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Stafford, Hannah
9243405
INTRO: No problems THESIS: Awkward phrasing BODY: Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Good use of evidence
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Yang, Jessica9250060
INTRO: Good THESIS: Counterpoint should be in same form as main points BODY: Good topic sentences. Good use of evidence
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Yoon, Junghwan9245628
INTRO: Brief, see thesis note THESIS: Should be one sentence!! BODY: Topic sentences should name the main point and restate thesis position. Analysis a little thin
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