|Timestamp||Page Number(s)||Paragraph||Problem Text||Corrected Text or Solution||Your Credit||Status|
|12/4/2012 22:28:36||6||6||"You may want to check out the cheat sheet for conflicts on page XX just to save your GM some effort..."||"XX" needs to be replaced with a page number.||Jonathon Hodges||:p|
|12/26/2012 22:22:45||6||Sidebar "NEW TO FATE"||"You may want to check out the cheat sheet for conflicts on page XX just to save your GM some effort, but otherwise, you should be good to go."||Replace XX with a page number||Roman||:p|
|12/26/2012 22:21:22||6||Sidebar, left-hand side||For Veterans p. XX||Replace p. XX with a page number||Roman||:p|
|12/12/2012 19:54:52||6||sidebars||The first sidebar mentions a master list of changes that is not found in the book. The second mentions a 'cheat sheet' that also seems to not exist. Lastly, there is no 'shortcut' on the left for the cheat sheet's page number.||Don't forget to add them to the final draft. They could be handy.||:p|
|12/26/2012 22:45:08||163||sidebar, index card||[[LAYOUT NOTES: Just like in Dresden, we need some sort of art asset here to visualize the scene.]]||Replace the placeholder with the art asset.||Roman||:p|
|12/4/2012 9:36:02||52||3||skill points creep in in the side bar, and also a few hundred pages later, without actually being defined anywhere.||i suggest to add a sentence similar to the following somewhere appropriate at the skills section:|
"A skill point is used to buy or enhance a skill. One skill points buys one new skill to Average (+1) or enhances the rating of a skill by +1. Upon enhancing skills, the skill pyramid must be maintained, i.e. you can’t have more skills at a certain rank thRaenfreysoh u have at the rank below it."
"A skill point is used to buy or enhance a skill. One skill points buys one new skill to Average (+1) or enhances the rating of a skill by +1. Read on at page 268."
While writing this, I recommend to pull out the skill advancement section from the Milestones section, and put it somewhere close to the Skills section. It belongs there, and advancing a character by reaching a milestone is just one application of using skill points, as their various reference in the document demonstrates.
|12/9/2012 2:56:17||120-121||not sure||Comparing the Lore skill to the Scholarship skill (DF:YS pg. 140) in Dresden Files, it would seem that it is intended to be essentially the same. How it works for purposes of Medical Attention (trapping) (DF:YS pg. 141) or if that would need to be a stunt would be a good clarification for any one playing a "Medic!" or cleric-style character in a game.||I would say add Medical Attention as an Overcome I think (overcoming the consequence). Defense after-the-fact doesn't sound right. There is plenty of space on pg. 121 to allow for it without changing the layout.||Ernie Sawyer||?|
|12/6/2012 0:46:37||3||penultimate||Character Sheet ... 303||Blank Character Sheet ... 303||Peter Blake||/|
|12/17/2012 12:06:42||7||1st bullet||Between three and five people.||Is four the recommended maximum number of players? Consider discussing this dial setting and the effects of having 5-6 or more players or solo play somewhere in the book (new sidebar?)||Ville Makkonen||/|
|1/6/2013 15:18:07||7||5||beads, or anything similar will||beads or anything similar will (comma redundant)||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/4/2012 20:45:24||10||7||Stress (page 166)|
Stress is one of the two options you have to avoid losing a conflict—it repre- sents temporary fatigue, getting winded, superficial injuries, and so on. You have a number of stress levels you can burn off to help keep you in a fight, and they reset at the end of a conflict, once you’ve had a moment to rest and catch your breath.
|Should not this paragraph be labelled "Physical Stress" and the first sentence be "Physical Stress is one of the two options you have to avoid losing a conflict..."?||Olman Feelyus||/|
|12/12/2012 7:57:22||14||4||When you beat a roll or a set obstacle, the difference between your opposition|
and your result is what we call shifts. When you roll equal to the
opposition, you have zero shifts.
|When you match or beat either a roll or a set obstacle, the difference between your opposition|
and your result is what we call shifts.
|1/15/2013 22:48:59||14||8||He takes up the dice and rolls, getting , for a result|
of +2. This steps up his result on the ladder by two, from Good
(+3) to Superb (+5).
|He takes up the dice and rolls, getting , for a result|
of +3. This steps up his result on the ladder by two, from Good
(+3) to Superb (+5).
|12/9/2012 14:33:08||15||Ok, yes those two boxes are blank, because page 15 is blank. This is a problem because on page 16 you start talking about spending Fate Points on Aspects, without having explained Aspects yet.|
So, my suggested fix is to move/duplicate the basic Aspect definition from page 60 to page 15.
Aspects are one of the most important things in Fate and deserve their own section in the Rules Basics chapter.
|12/17/2012 12:20:17||25||sidebar||Missing a setting creation worksheet||Consider creating a one-page worksheet for setting creation, simlar to the character creation sheet on p.304||Ville Makkonen||/|
|12/4/2012 5:37:23||25||((Is the text on this page slightly thinner / of lighter weight than is usual for body text in this book?))||Ezra Bradford||/|
|12/17/2012 9:09:02||26||#4||These are the sort of things that characters want to engage with, are forced to engage with, help them out, or stand in their way.||These are the sorts of things that characters want to engage with (<i>are</i> forced to engage with!), that stand in their way, or that help them out when they least expect it.||Seán Harnett||/|
|12/17/2012 9:20:09||27||#3||(Sometimes, a small-scale game will turn into a large-scale one over time, as you’ve probably|
seen in long-running novels or television shows.)
|(Sometimes, a small-scale game will turn into a large-scale one over time, as you’ve probably|
seen happen in long-running novels or television shows.)
|12/8/2012 11:19:23||28||7||...think about the stalwart heroes who work against some impending doom while already discontent with the world around them.||...think about the stalwart heroes who work against some impending doom while already discontented with the world around them.||Dave Klempa||/|
|12/17/2012 9:24:26||28||#2||Every setting needs to have something going on that the characters care about, often because there’s peril they want to fight or undermine.||Every setting needs to have something going on that the characters care about, often because there’s a peril they want to fight or undermine.|
- OR -
Every setting needs to have something going on that the characters care about, often because there are perils they want to fight or undermine.
|1/6/2013 15:31:50||28||Box starting Game and Character creation||Aspects and Fate points chapter (page 59).||Am uncertain as to whether this is a formatting error or not. Previously references like this generally had a sidebar tag (eg on p26 we have 'Character Creation p35' tag one third of the page down) rather than listing the page number in text eg refer to p20||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/17/2012 9:37:24||29||#1||Ryan immediately says “organized crime,” and they flesh that out a little: there’s an existing issue of the “The Scar Triad,” a group of thugs who are known for thievery, extortion, and other nasty things that the world could do without. This is clearly an existing issue.||Ryan immediately says “organized crime,” and they flesh that out a little, eventually deciding that “The Scar Triad” -- a group of thugs known for thievery, extortion, and other nasty things the world could do without -- is clearly an existing issue.||Seán Harnett||/|
|1/6/2013 15:34:34||30||Changing Issues in Play Box||Long game chapter (page 261)||(page 261)' should be removed and sidebar reference 'The Long Game p261' added||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/17/2012 10:04:52||32||#5||Or one of these ideas might be a great inspiration for a protagonist!||<<Do you mean 'antagonist'?>>||Seán Harnett||/|
|12/7/2012 19:08:03||38||5||You could mash two jobs or roles together that most people would find odd: Wizard Private eye, Singing Knight of the Round, Monster-slaying Accountant.||"Singing Knight of the Round," should be Singing Knight of the Round Table,"||Troy Holaday||/|
|12/8/2012 8:03:35||40||6||Don Giovanni personally hates me||Don Giovanni hates me||Arrghus||/|
|12/4/2012 16:04:37||46||5||Because two other characters will be involved...||Because other characters will be involved... (remove "two", since number of players is probably variable)||GhostBob||/|
|12/15/2012 18:47:19||51||Good or Great Physique gives you 3- and 4-point physical stress boxes.||Good or Great Physique gives you 3- or 4-point physical stress boxes respectively.||John Tobin||/|
|1/17/2013 15:26:27||56||5||You should know your best skill to start—that gives us further ideas about your character.||You should know your best skill to start—that gives you further ideas about your character.||Casey Hunten||/|
|12/27/2012 20:10:14||61||3||Everyone can always invoke, compel, or create an advantage on a game|
aspect at any time—they’re always there and available for anyone’s use.
|The turn of phrase "invoke, compel, or create an advantage on a game aspect" is awkward. Reordering the list of three may help but I believe that it needs to be reworded for clarity and flow.||Connor Bliss||/|
|12/9/2012 16:24:00||62||1||but you can use the create an advantage action||This took me a few read overs to be sure it wasn't actually a typo... I think italicizing, quoting, or bolding the text "create an advantage" would clarify it a bit.||shosuko||/|
|You're falling into the same multiple term trap as invoke/tag and compel/invoke for effect. Since a boost is a transient aspect why call it something else?||SC||/|
|1/16/2013 13:41:06||62||1||but you can use the create an advantage||but you can use them to create an advantage||/|
|12/17/2012 12:37:04||70||margin||Links in page margin||There should be a link to "Character Aspects" on p.61, where different types of aspects are discussed.||Ville Makkonen||/|
|12/29/2012 13:50:53||72||4||The group has to buy into the relevance of a particular aspect when you invoke it; GMs, you’re the final arbiter on this one.||The group has to buy into the relevance of a particular aspect when you invoke it; GMs are the final arbiter on this one.|
(The semicolon into comma just makes this read somewhat clunky)
|12/11/2012 10:29:16||72||2; 4||"In order to invoke an aspect, explain why the aspect is relevant, spend a|
fate point, and you can choose one of three benefits"
"The group has to buy into the relevance of a particular aspect when you
invoke it; GMs, you’re the final arbiter on this one. The use of an aspect
should make sense, or you should be able to creatively narrate your way into
ensuring it makes sense."
|Problem: Consider including a more solid support for the need to introduce new aspects into play: if the only incentive to introduce an extra aspect beyond the first free invocation is that it is easier to justify, the creation of aspects only makes sense game-wise if the group/GM is very strict with defending relevance. |
Solution: Having more aspects (and gaining more aspects) becomes a boon if the cost to invoke aspects increases exponentially: boons and newly introduced aspects are free, a first invocation costs 1 FP, the second 2, etc. The rising cost clears with refresh (or possibly with the aspect being compelled). This creates player incentive to create lasting advantage.
|1/6/2013 18:48:52||72||5||"Force someone to make a Fair (+2) overcome roll to deal with an obstacle represented by the aspect."||This third effect of invoking an aspect isn’t mentioned previously on page 16.||Don Bisdorf||/|
|12/17/2012 12:40:23||73||7||Check out page 141, page 177, and page 253.||Links with page number references are placed in the margin elsewhere in the book. Consider doing that here as well.||Ville Makkonen||/|
|12/4/2012 17:27:44||73||The book talks about Social Conflicts in a few places (notably on p. 73) but Social stress now appears to be treated as the same thing as Mental Stress and there's no Social stress track.|
My gut reaction is that I don't like the single merged set of Consequences. It doesn't seem logical that I can't take a Mild mental consequence now because I sprained my ankle earlier in the session. I presume that this decision was made to streamline and simplify the game and to minimise the overall number of consequences any one character has, speeding up combat?
|12/6/2012 23:08:35||75||6||if a player wants to compel another character, it costs a fate point to pro-pose the complication.||The text as written says that a player suggesting a compel has to spend a fate point to do so. Should there be a distinction between collaborative compels where a player suggests something because it makes the game more fun, and compels when two player characters are in conflict? |
Maybe something like "Players are free to suggest potential compels to the table whenever they come up. However, if a proposed compel benefits a player then it costs a fate point."
|1/6/2013 18:49:15||78||3||"Countering a decision-based compel should only mean that the “what goes wrong” part doesn’t happen."||The meaning of this sentence wasn't clear to me. I'm assuming that the intention here is that the character still goes ahead with the suggested decision, but there are no negative consequences. Possibly an example or some other form of elaboration would make this clear.||Don Bisdorf||/|
|12/14/2012 7:06:48||80||last paragraph||But no one’s going to ignore that character.||Perhaps should read “No one’s going to ignore that character.” Or “This aspect means no one’s going to ignore that character”. (reason: Start of new paragraph)||Fabrice Breau||/|
|1/6/2013 18:49:45||82||6||"With some skills, it’s going to make more sense to stick an advantage to an aspect that’s already on some other character’s sheet."||The meaning of the phrase "stick an advantage to an aspect" was completely unclear to me at this point. It became obvious later when the phrase "stick an advantage" was more rigorously defined, but at this point in the rules I don't believe a reader would have any idea what this means.||Don Bisdorf||/|
|12/19/2012 20:35:52||85||last sentence on the page||"If an NPC concedes a conflict..."||"If a NPC concedes a conflict..."||Dan Alexander||/|
|1/6/2013 18:50:32||85||4||"You receive one fate point for conceding in a conflict, as well as an additional fate point for each consequence that you’ve received in that conflict."||A full reading of the rules makes it clear that a player doesn't get any fate points for receiving consequences if they don't concede the conflict. However, this isn't stated explicitly here, and I think it might be helpful to spell this out so that the advantages of conceding are made clear.||Don Bisdorf||/|
|1/6/2013 15:44:50||90||3||basic game actions, but the number of potential contexts is infinite.||Uncertain what to recommend, as I don't understand what you are trying to say. To me it seems to be saying a skill action can be used in almost any context, which makes you ask why define a skill in Fate this way.||Bruce Hill||/|
|1/6/2013 15:48:43||90||Margin references||Stress p166|
|Use smaller font? The reference for 'Will' lies well away from its actual text reference.||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/7/2012 9:10:34||93||5||Lead in the Air. You really like emptying clips. Any time you’re using|
a fully automatic weapon and you succeed at a Shooting attack, you
automatically create a Fair (+2) opposition against sprint actions in that
zone until your next turn, because of all the lead in the air.
|No ware in the book does it talk about creating opposition and what the means except for a brief mention on this page. Much more detail is needed on them. The sprint action is not in the book at all other than this reference. Finally, having to role to move (which is what I assume the created opposition is about) make no sense as an example because failure doesn't result suffering damage which a bunch of bullets would likely cause.|
*** Overall there is a complete lack of discussion (more than a reference) of obstacles that are not NPCs, and that really should be addressed!
|12/4/2012 23:43:30||100||2||"see our guidelines for what to do with unlisted actions on page XX."||XX needs to be replaced with a page reference.||Jonathon Hodges||/|
|12/4/2012 5:28:04||100||end of 2nd paragraph||Each skill description contains a list of game actions that you can use the|
skill for. This list is not necessarily exhaustive—see our guidelines for what
to do with unlisted actions on page XX.
|("unlisted" only appears in this location, not sure what page this refers to)||SwiftOne||/|
|1/6/2013 16:08:15||100||Creating Settins with Skills Box||No problem with text, but missing a whole lot of advice here.||There appears to be no advice for new GMs on skill 'game' balance|
(i) total number of skills available (18 listed in default)
(ii) skill influence type ie How many skills should be 'direct Attack' versus 'indirect Create Advantage' influences on game play? As an example, if I've understood the default list correctly there are two Attack physical influences - Fighting and Shooting. and one mental - Intimidation.
Are there any guidelines?
|12/17/2012 12:48:59||101||sidebar||Entire skill list||Instead space for art, consider expanding this list to tell some more about the skills. There could even be a table with the skills and the four basic actions for each.||Ville Makkonen||/|
|12/30/2012 21:30:10||104||6||Attack: Contacts isn’t used for attacks; it’s hard to harm someone simply by knowing people.||It seems like if this is a defensive skill, that you should also be able to use it as an offensive skill during social conflicts. I feel like it is of the type, "I know powerful people, so if you mess with me, you could be messing with them."|
I'm not sure if you guys agree with this or not, but that's my view.
|1/6/2013 16:12:33||106||4||or a vulnerability for you to exploit||or a vulnerability for someone to exploit (Again I'm still learning the rules so I could be wrong, but I assume that other people can use advantages)||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/16/2012 6:52:47||108||1||Deceit has only a single short sentence as explanation.||I think it needs at least another one, perhaps listing it's uses in short form (such as sleight of hands) before going into the specific actions.|
Something like this (please excuse bad English):
Deceit, naturally, is the skill about lying to and misdirecting people. It not only covers telling convincing falsehoods, but also can be used for physical misdirection such as disguising or sleight-of-hands tricks.
|12/7/2012 0:40:16||110||Skill in General||Drive||Consider "Operate" or some other vehicle-neutral term. Drive implies a road vehicle and doesn't flow with things like planes, boats, trains, bulldozers, submersibles, gliders, etc.||Jon Smejkal||/|
|1/5/2013 9:05:19||110||6||Did A Barrel Roll||Do a Barrel Roll||Julien Harroch||/|
|1/17/2013 15:28:57||110||5||(Did A Barrel Roll, anyone?)||(Do A Barrel Roll!, anyone?)||Casey Hunten||/|
|12/4/2012 19:38:12||112||6||Special: Empathy is the main skill you use to help others recover from|
social and mental consequences.
|Social consequences don't seem to be mentioned elsewhere in the book.||Ryan Sands||/|
|12/4/2012 18:07:54||112||7||Special: Empathy is the main skill you use to help others recover from|
social and mental consequences.
Maybe I've missed something, but since "Conflicts are either physical or mental in nature" how can you have a social consequence? Note that this is one of many references to social combat.
|Um, either add in social conflict or remove all references to it?||Richard Chilton||/|
|12/8/2012 16:36:11||113||3||you can reduce someone else's consequence||you can reduce someone else's mental consequence||Arrghus||/|
|12/4/2012 19:40:32||115||1||Heavy Hitter. When you succeed with style on a Fighting attack, you|
gain a full scene aspect with a free invocation, instead of just a boost.
|Regarding consistent language, I would change this to "a scene aspect with a free invocation" instead of saying "full scene aspect."||Ryan Sands||/|
|12/5/2012 0:50:15||115||3||"Killing Stroke. Once per scene, when you force an opponent to take a consequence, you can spend a fate point to increase the severity of the consequence that he must take (so minor becomes moderate, moderate becomes severe). If your opponent was already going to take a severe consequence, he must either take a severe consequence and a second consequence or be taken out."||This stunt seems pointless. If I care about stabbing people, I don't need it, I can just invoke an aspect for a +2. If I don't care about stabbing people, I'm not going to bother picking up a stunt that makes me better at it.||Jonathon Hodges||/|
|1/6/2013 16:16:53||116||Title||Intimidation covers your character's ability to inspire fear in others,||Rename 'Intimidation' 'Manipulation'? And make it a wider skill. There doesn't seem to be any way to subtlety influence people?||Bruce Hill||/|
|12/4/2012 19:52:49||118||7||Defend: Same here.||In other places you repeat "Skill isn't used to defend," And others you say "Same here. Skill isn't used to defend." Recommend consistent usage.||Ryan Sands||/|
|12/9/2012 7:59:16||120||Defend||States that Lore cannot be used to defend||I would allow Lore to be used as a defence against Deceit when being lied to about established facts. "Humans only use 10% of their brains, this potion that I'm selling allows you to use 100%" Defended with Lore. "Sarah likes you and if you go over to her with a red rose and she'll kiss you right here in the cafeteria" Not defended with Lore.||Brook Freeman||/|
|12/7/2012 19:01:34||133||6||"Will is the main skill you use to defend against mental attacks from Deceit, Rapport or Intimidation".|
This contradicts the descriptions of Deceit and Rapport, which say they aren't used for attacking:
p.108: "Deceit is an indirect skill that creates a lot of opportunities you can capitalize on, but doesn’t do direct harm to an individual."
p.126: "Rapport isn’t typically used for attacks."
|Maybe the intended meaning is that Will is used to defend against attempts to *create an advantage against you* using Deceit or Rapport, but in that case it sounds just like the use of Rapport: "You can use Rapport to defend against attempts made to create advantages against you with Rapport or Deceit." (p.126) Even though that paragraph goes on to distinguish that from Will: "You have to dig deeper in order to defend against mental attacks—see the Will skill for that."||Jens Alfke||/|
|12/4/2012 12:33:35||138||2||In the header text describing the 4 Outcomes, you wrote "Fall"||Fail||Tom Miskey||/|
|12/7/2012 23:59:44||140||1/3/2012||When you make a skill roll, you’re taking one of four actions: overcome, create advantage, attack, or defend.|
The four actions are: overcome, create advantage, attack, and defend.
|It seems redundant to repeat this list in such quick succession.||David Leaman||/|
|12/6/2012 12:29:33||142||6/8/2012||• When you fail, you either don’t create the aspect, or you create it but|
don’t get any benefit from it. You should create it if the aspect you
wanted was something that other people could take advantage of later
(like Rough Terrain). You can still invoke the aspect if you’d like, but
it’ll cost you a fate point.
• When you tie, you get a boost—name the new aspect and invoke it
once for free, but after that, the aspect goes away. This might mean you
have to rename the aspect a bit to reflect its temporary nature (Rough
Terrain becomes Rocks on the Path).
• When you succeed, you create a scene aspect with a free invocation.
|The problem here is that if your primary goal was to create an aspect for everyone to use, a failure is better then a tie. Besides, this is a failure, should the character really benefit at all?||/|
|12/6/2012 3:03:16||142||Opposition might be active or passive, depending on the circumstances.|
If your target is another character, their roll always counts as a defend action.
|It isn't clear what the difficulty is for using it on the environment, and if it matters or not if it's a new or an old aspect.||/|
|12/7/2012 6:47:03||144||The whole page.||If you’re using create advantage on an existing aspect…|
• When you fail, you don’t get any benefit from the aspect. You can still
invoke it if you’d like, at the cost of a fate point. If you’re doing this on
a target whose aspects are hidden from you, the GM can opt to keep
the aspect a secret instead.
• When you tie or succeed, you place a free invocation on the aspect.
• When you succeed with style, you place two free invocations on the
|Honestly, this is just a bit strangely positioned, and the same goes for the page before it and the page after it, too. There's certainly space for art, but the way this is placed made me have to read over it and nearby pages a few times to make sure I understood what it was talking about.|
A minor issue, really, just something I noticed.
|12/6/2012 12:25:44||148||2 & 4||Whenever someone attacks you in a conflict or tries|
to create an advantage that sticks to you, you always get
a chance to defend. As with attacks, this isn’t always about
avoiding physical sources of danger—some of the skills allow
you to defend against attempts to harm your mind or damage your resolve.
When you fail at a defense, you
suffer the consequences of whatever
you were trying to prevent. You
might take a hit, or you might have
someone else’s advantage stuck to
|This is the only time I've seen advantages described as something that is stuck to a character. There is a lot of statements about how free invocations are attached to an aspect but never to the characters, other than here.||/|
|12/4/2012 8:49:32||170||8||you’re stuck with it until your next major milestone.||you’re stuck with it until the next major milestone.|
(meta comment: the paragraphs above (and pg. 270) seem to imply, that the milestone is based on the story or other events external to the character, whereas the problem text suggest the milestone were dependent on the character)
|1/6/2013 18:51:45||171||Entire page||There are examples elsewhere of NPC's conceding a conflict; however, how this would work during play is not spelled out. ||For example, if the GM states wants his villain to concede, and tells the players "You win the conflict and stop Baron Badguy from summoning the Demon King, but the Baron escapes in his personal zepplin," the natural reaction of a group of players at this point would be to protest heavily, and to demand to be allowed to attempt to prevent the Baron from escaping. It seems that the players must be allowed to reject a concession from an NPC, which may be the intention, but I don't believe this is stated explicitly. Also, should there be an incentive to allowing NPC's to concede, such as a Fate Point reward?||Don Bisdorf||/|
|12/6/2012 18:22:31||173||2||Normally, it’s no big deal to move from one zone to another—if there’s |
nothing preventing you from doing so, you can always choose to move
one zone in addition to your action for the exchange.
In the example, Cynara crosses one zone to a place 2 zones away("That requires her to cross one zone to get to the
access ladder for the second foor, and then climb it up, making
her opponent two zones away."), would this not constitute moving two zones?
|12/7/2012 1:33:46||173||4||If you fail that roll, whatever was impeding you keeps you from moving.|
If you tie, you get to move, but your opponent takes a temporary advantage
of some kind. If you succeed, you move without consequence. If you succeed
with style, you can claim a temporary advantage in addition to your
|Consider breking it out into bullet points as you have for the Actions and Outcomes section.||Jon Smejkal||/|
|12/6/2012 13:37:20||177||6||Ryan gets two fate points, because Amanda let one of the|
thugs invoke his Not the Face! twice against him during the
|Ryan should have gotten his FP as soon as his aspect was invoked against him, assuming the NPCs spent FP from the GM's pool, correct?||Adam Schwaninger||/|
|1/6/2013 18:52:17||177||2||"Once you know a conflict has definitively ended, GMs, you can pass out all the fate points earned from concession."||It looks as if this iteration of Fate suggests that players don't get Fate Points for compels or invocations against their aspects until a conflict is over. I can see the reason for this; it prevents players from endlessly spending and recycling Fate Points during a conflict. However, a conflict sequence will typically be a chaotic affair, and when it's all over, it will be difficult or impossible to remember who invoked who's aspects during the fracas.|
I think it would be useful to provide some sort of guidance here for how a group can track these earned-but-not-yet-awarded Fate Points so that they will be properly awarded at the end of the conflict. For instance, the GM might want to keep a running tally of earned Fate Points as the conflict is proceeding, or the GM might go ahead and pass out the earned Fate Points immediately when the compel or invoke occurs, but might require the players to keep them in a "can't spend these yet" pile until the conflict is over.
|12/17/2012 13:30:40||196||entire page||Entire page||Full page of prose, with no subheaders, bullets, or tables... Pretty dense stuff for me. Could this be split a bit? Say, subheaders "setting low" and "setting high".||Ville Makkonen||/|
|1/19/2013 1:05:56||214||1||Not every participant in a conflict is another PC or NPC.||Not every participant in a conflict is a PC or NPC.|
|12/5/2012 21:56:25||219||4 (heading)||Take Only What You Need to Survive||This heading is a bit wordy and (IMO) slightly off-topic. I suggest "Always Travel Light" as an alternative in a similar vein.||Peter Blake||/|
|12/15/2012 19:24:26||239||7||Let’s use the same two aspects: Cynere’s Secret Sister of Barathar and Zird’s Rivals in the Collegia Arcana.||Let’s use the same two aspects: Cynere’s Secret Sister Barathar and Zird’s Rivals in the Collegia Arcana.||Rob Rendell||/|
|12/5/2012 18:49:03||262||2||... and endgame, told in the span of a few SESSIONS ...||I think it should read "... and endgame, told in the span of a few SCENARIOS ..."|
If I understand the relative size it should go Scene -> Session -> Scenario -> Arc -> Campaign, so Arcs should be split into Scenarios, not Sessions.
|1/17/2013 15:47:33||262||2||(in fact, you probably shouldn’t given that no meticulously planned story ever survives contact with the players)||(in fact, you probably shouldn't, given that no meticulously planned story ever survives contact with the players)||Casey Hunten||/|
|12/5/2012 23:36:41||102-133||Title of Stunts||I would recommend changing "Athletics Stunts" etc to "Sample Athletics Stunts". This highlights that you are intended to supplement the list (modern gamers need a surprisingly large amount of encouragement to vary things. I blame 4th Ed D&D.||Sample Athletics Stunts, etc.||SwiftOne||/|
|12/8/2012 17:56:31||136-137||5||p136 From example text runs - "nameless NPC's anyway and not really worth a conflict"|
p137 From GM advice "If it's an unimportant NPC, or ..... then use passive opposition."
Yet from example text on p137 "Amanda decides to roll active opposition against Lily".
|12/7/2012 20:33:56||136-137||two examples + sidebar||The example on p136 establishes the guards as "nameless NPCs anyway and not really worth a conflict". The sidebar on p137 establishes that passive is appropriate for an "unimportant NPC". Then the example on p137 has Amanda roll an active resistance.||p137 example: "Amanda decides to roll active opposition against Lily on behalf of the guards to ratchet up the tension."||SwiftOne||/|
|12/12/2012 20:13:38||53 and others||7||I don't think the word "protagonist" is friendly to new players and/or non-writers. It's not immediately obvious when skimming the book that it means the player chracter. The word is only used once after page 53 on page 297. I see "your character" in use in other parts of the book after page 53, as well as "PC".|
Of course, I hadn't heard or used the words celerity or obfuscate until V:tM came out either, but it was clear waht they meant because they were attached to skills.
|Maybe use one or more of the other terms?||/|
|12/4/2012 19:35:58||All (Chapter titles)||bottom of pages||Chapter titles are provided in footer as "Chapter 1", "Chapter 2" etc without addition||Footer should have Chapter number and Title: "Chapter 3: Character Creation", as the titles are informative and helpful (good job on title selection, BTW) and the numbers alone are not.||SwiftOne||/|
|12/4/2012 20:10:59||All (Chapter titles) -revised||bottom of pages||Okay, so I put in a revision saying you should have the titles in the footer and somehow completely missed the in-your-face inner tabs that have the title.|
I'm going to stick with it being in the footer as well, but I wanted to point out that I wasn't a permanent idiot.
I'm not really fond of the "inner-tabs" or whatever they are. They make it more busy.
|Provide chapter titles in footer of pages, and ideally not in the page fold as the draft has it.||SwiftOne||/|
|12/7/2012 22:24:59||All Examples||All Examples||All of the examples are presented in a lighter font. This lowers the priority of examples and invites the reader to skip them.||Use the same font contrast (I forget the term) with an emphasis or use a another font in the same "family".|
Another suggestion is to box the examples as done with other asides.
|12/4/2012 20:08:14||N/A||N/A||The table of contents in the PDF has an _GoBack entry at the top (Preview.app on OS X).||I assume this is an artifact of the bookmarks that let you jump around the PDF, but it would be nice to make it hidden somehow.||Garrett Rooney||/|
|1/28/2013 8:54:38||9||5||In the text it directly says: "fief lords who hire them"||Didnt you mean "Thief lords who hire them"?||LDK||/|
|12/4/2012 21:19:54||10||2 and 4||pg 10 - The Character Sheet - We have "They are the reasons why your character matters..." but then we have "Lily’s character, Cynere, has the aspect Tempted by Shiny Things". That's why she matters? I'm not saying it's a bad aspect, just that it doesn't match "why your character matters".||Thomas Erskine||/|
|12/17/2012 11:59:12||Throughout||Throughout||Em dash everywhere in text||Kindle does not recognize em dash as word delimiter, so it is impossible to select words on either side of an em dash for dictionary definition. |
Consider padding em dashes with spaces at least for the mobi format.
|Ville Makkonen||ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! (for print/pdf anyway)|
|12/17/2012 13:03:35||138||N/A||N/A||Consider adding a 4x4 table containing all the actions and outcomes.||Ville Makkonen||JK|
|12/6/2012 3:40:11||10||There is no description for the Extras box, as there is for nearly everything else on the character sheet.||LB|
|12/5/2012 2:50:49||16||10||“You know, long years of being Tempted by Shiny Things has|
taught me a thing or two about what’s really valuable in a treasure
hoarde and what’s not. I’m going to impress this merchant by
talking about the rarest, most prized elements of his collection.”
|I feel like this isn't very clear for the first example of how to invoke an aspect. Why does talking about the rare and most prized elements of her collection help Deceit? How does it make the merchant talk about his security features? I feel like the text isn't as clear as it could be for players reading this as their very first example of invoking. I feel like there is a bit of a disconnect between the aspect in the example and how it assists the skill roll for this purpose.|
I feel like this example is indicating that impressing the merchant gets him to talk about his security features. But why? And how is that Deciet? I feel like the gist of the example should be more focused on how the goading leads him to talk about his security features (impressing him doesn't clearly flow into him talking about his security, but expressing how he has some really valuable items here might) If the example was still going to be about impressing, maybe the reason why impressing works (confidence trickster, type of thing) could be played up a little more.
Really, I imagine that (in a less heavy-handed way) Cynere would be saying things like "Is that the Ruby Eye of Kepesk? Wow, you have some invaluable items here. Your security must be top-notch!". So, more subtle than that, but to lead him into describing the security.