Bad Movies
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YearSynopsisNotable actors
The Man Who Saved The World (aka Turkish Star Wars)1983Even with subtitles, I have no idea what is going onCuneyt ArkinQuite possibly the most insane movie ever made. Cuneyt Arkin unleashes his unique brand of Captain Kirk-esque trampoline-Fu on nearly every single form of parade-float costumed character imaginable, including mummies, zombies, robots, Skeletor, and King Leonidas. There are many explosions, and many scenes and the soundtrack are stolen from Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark. You just can't make this stuff up.5 out of 5No
Hard Rock Zombies1985Tries way too hard to be a horror-comedy but terrible film and audio equipment get in the way. There's a love story between a guy in his twenties and a teenage girl played by an obvious 12-year old. The main villain is... ah, I won't spoil it 5 out of 5No
Miami Connection1987A kidnapped mercenary, hunted as part of some mercenary training excercise, single-handedly takes out every mercenary in a mercenary training campGrand Master Y. K KimClearly intended to be an inspirational film showcasing the values of martial arts and clean living, it winds-up being a testament to everything preposterous about 1980s action movies5 out of 5No
Hawkeye1988Cowboy cop Alexander "Hawkeye" Hakamoto teams up with Eddie Murphy's karate-fighting stunt double to take on the Las Vegas mob in this buddy cop romp.George Chung, Chuck JeffreysThe most bizarre buddy cop movie you will ever see. It copies tropes from other 80s buddy cop movies, down to casting a virtual clone of Eddie Murphy, but it just fails spectularly in every conceivable way.5 out of 5No
Hell Comes to Frogtown1988Rowdy' Roddy PiperIt's a movie about Rowdy Roddy Piper trying to impregnate women who have been captured by Frog people.5 out of 5No
Ator: Quest for the Mighty Sword1990A prince, or something, sets out to avenge his mother and reclaim his kingdom... but first he'll have to match wits with his adoptive troll father
Eric Allan KramerFeatures the literal definition of a "Troll Dad" and a crappy two-headed robot guard5 out of 5No
The Legend of the Titanic1999A grandfather mouse tells his grandchildren the "real" story of the Titanic disaster. Gregory Snegoff, Francis Pardeilhan and Jane Alexander This is another in the "animated" Titanic movies. If you thought "The Legend Goes On" was terrible and crazy, take a look at this. Without spoiling much, as this movie is way more enjoyable not knowing anything about it when going in, the insanity levels of this movie are put to high gear. Worth watching.5 out of 5No
Daniel der Zauberer2004Manufactured popstar Daniel Küblböck battles with the help of his dead grandfather against haters and a Satanist attempting to assassinate him. Also includes subplots featuring Küblböck attempting to break the American market, and little Petra, whose obsession with Küblböck's music is driving her grandfather mad.Pretty much the entire Küblböck family, director Ulli Lommel, producer Peter SchamoniTotally nonsensical plot and dialogue, with subplots that go nowhere, terrible acting, very poor camerawork and incongruous dream sequences. Highlights include the film's portrayal of Hollywood, as well as the 90's music video pastiche towards the end of the film.Considered the worst German film ever made, and used to be the #1 film on IMDB's bottom 100 until it was replaced by Kirk Cameron's Saving Christmas.5 out of 5No
Foodfight!2012Sunshine goodness is gone and dex dogtective, and his sidekick daredevel dan are on the caseCharlie SheenSome of the ugliest animation known to man kind, out of place sex jokes, nazi jokes, horrible acting, repeated clips, and poor storytelling5 out of 5
Vampires Kiss1989Yuppie Peter Loew is a literary agent who is slowly going insane with his non-stop lifestyle. He meets a woman at a club who infects him with vampirism. He mentally breaks down as he slowly becomes a vampire.Nicolas Cage, María Conchita Alonso, Jennifer Beals, Elizabeth AstleyNic Cage overacting again makes this film fantastic. So many random outburts and rants, including shouting the entire alphabet to his therapist and running down a street repeatedly shouting "I'M A VAMPIRE". Curiously, this film has a 62% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes!4½ out of 5No
Jurassic Shark2012Scientists drilling in a lake accidentally uncover the megalodon, a colossal extinct species of shark. It proceeds to terrorize two groups of people who are at the lake for different reasons.wVery low-budget, but hilarious. They talk about the Megalodon as being massive (it was back in the day), yet when it's shown on screen it's no bigger than your average great white. Also, what the fuck is a shark doing in a lake? 4½ out of 5No
Night of the Lepus1972A town under bloody siege from a mutated menace -- giant bunny rabbits. Not a comedy.Stuart Whitman, Janet Leigh, DeForest "Bones" KelleyGiant. Bunny. Rabbits.4 out of 5
Pink Flamingos1972John Waters' notorious paean to twisted impulses. 300lb transvestite Divine is challenged for her title as "filthiest person alive."Divine, Mink Stole, Edith the Egg LadyLong before internet shock sites, there was Pink Flamingos. Memorable quote: "Do my balls, mama!" Memorable moment: Eating dog shit. Really.4 out of 5
Three the Hard way1974Jim Brown, Fred Williamson and Jim Kelly are badasses who set out to stop a bunch of white supremacists from tainting the water supplyJim Brown, Fred Williamson, Jim KellyIt's blaxploitation at it's finest, starring three of the genre's biggest stars. 4 out of 5No
For Your Height Only1981Secret Agent 00 must stop the nefarious Mr. Giant from dropping the N-bomb.Weng WengWeng Weng is 3 feet tall. He's a secret agent. He cockpunches people, bangs tall women, and flies a miniature jet-pack. It's hilarious. You're a terrible person.4 out of 5No
Kill and Kill Again1981Martial arts champ Steve Chase reunites his ragtag band of fighter buddies to take down evil Dr. Marduk and his army of brainwashed karate fighters.James Ryan (Space Mutiny)Campy South African action flick with a cartoonish kid-friendly bent not unlike The A-Team. Notable for over-the-top acting and the first ever use of "bullet time."4 out of 5No
The Impossible Kid1982Sequel to "For Your Height Only" sees Weng Weng reprising his role as Secret Agent 00, this time sent to fight the mysterious Mr. X.Weng WengMore ridiculous Weng Weng shenanigans. Apparently Weng became a national hero of sorts in his heydey and was made an honorary Secret Agent, which is perhaps the highest honor a star of crazy Midgetsploitation has ever received.4 out of 5No
No Retreat, No Surrender1986Jean-Claude Van DammeThe psychotic version of the The Karate Kid. From the awful pastel costumes to characters who receive no introduction to booms in half the shots to the inexplicable Bruce Lee ghost scenes, it's a mystery what planet this movie came from, although it does feature JCVD in an early role as the over-the-top "Russian" villain. Plus breakdancing.4 out of 5
Alien Private Eye1987A private eye saves a beautiful girl from thugs, falls in love with her, and reveals that he's an alien trying to stop alien drug dealers from introducing a dangerous new drug on the streets of New York.
Nikki FastinettiThe main character wears Vanilla Ice threads and elf ears, which evidently makes him an alien. His goofiness and the utter strangeness of the plot provide the principal entertainment of the film.4 out of 5No
Rage of Honor1987A vice cop rushes into the jungles of South America to vanquish the drug lord who killed his partner--except it's not about revenge, it's about honor!Sho KosugiA Miami Vice ripoff with Sho Kosugi? Yes please! Kosugi rocks pastel threads and uses his improbable ninja skills to beat the baddies, including a group of pygmies whose presence is never explained in the movie!4 out of 5No
Lair of the White Worm, The 1988A group of researchers stumble upon a mansion that is home to an acient snake god. Hugh GrantThis movie is slow in parts but features an amazing folk rock song and Hugh Grant before he was famous. Includes some of the most memorable bad movie lines of all time.4 out of 5Unknown
Samurai Cop1989An American cop is brought in from Japan to rid the mean streets of suburban California of the murderous Yakuza.Matt Hannon, Mark Frazier, Robert Z'DarThe main character looks like Fabio, and the acting and dialogue are horrendous, creating some great moments of unintentional hilarity. Whole thing felt a lot like deleted scenes from a porno.4 out of 5No
The Suckling (Sewage Baby)1989A couple go to a Brooklyn brothel for an abortion, but the fetus comes into contact with radioactive waste. The mutant fetus then traps everyone in the house and goes on a killing spree.None of the cast even have wikipedia pages.Seriously, just read that plot again. A mutant fetus? The acting and cinematography are also fairly dire. One of the case members looks a bit like Lionel Ritchie.4 out of 5No
Ator4: Quest for the Mighty Sword (The Hobgoblin)1990When prince Ator becomes 18, he gets the sword from the mean sorcerer gnome Grindl, to free Dehamira and his people. On his journey he has to fight against dragons and other fantastic figures.Eric Allan KramerTwo sexy operatives accidentally intercept a delivery of diamonds intended for a drug lord, who tries to get them back. A full-scale fight to the finish ensues, complicated here
and there by an escaped snake made deadly by toxic waste and cancer injections
4 out of 5No
No Retreat, No Surrender 31990A martial artist must team up with his estranged superspy brother to take down terrorists after their CIA mastermind father is murdered.Loren Avedon, Keith VitaliAlways awesome Loren Avedon is joined by kickboxer-turned-actor Keith Vitali in this fairly ineptly-made action movie that features microphone booms in nearly every shot! The plot makes no sense whatsoever, but the action scenes are excellent.4 out of 5
King of the Kickboxers1991A cop must avenge the death of his brother from the hands of a crazed martial artist working with a sleazy snuff film producer.Loren Avedon, Billy BlanksRips off "Kickboxer" a little, with all of the familiar beats including training with an eccentric martial arts master in order to get stronger. What makes this film is Avedon's over-the-top acting. His intensity makes Van Damme look stoned.4 out of 5No
Stone Cold1991Super tough mullet cop, infilitrates biker gang town. He then fails to stop them from blowing up Mississippi.Brian Bosworth, Lance Henriksen, William ForsytheSo ludicrous action sequences complemented by a nonsensical plot. Both good guys and bad guys have no plan to accomplish their goals nor is it really clear what their goals are. Highlights - using an uzi to imitate William Tell, outdoor hot lady showers with children playing outside, jumping from a helicopter 60 feet up without injury, and using a chopper to splode a chopper.4 out of 5No but on YouTube as of 6/10/2015
Best of the Best 21993Our heroes from "Best of the Best" find their lives and families in jeopardy after one of them enters a secret martial arts competition with deadly stakes.Philip Rhee, Eric Roberts, Chris Penn, Sonny LandhamSurprisingly entertaining movie with great stunt work and choreography from Philip and Simon Rhee. Has a hilarious flamboyant vilain with a Schwarzenegger accent.4 out of 5No
Executive Koala2005A japanese salary man is blamed for his girlfriend's death. He also happens to be a koala.The movie never even tries to explain or appologise for the fact that some of the key characters are animals. There are quite a few out of the blue moments like the musical number. Everything ends up working out for the best.4 out of 5
The Wicker Man2006A remake of the 1970's classic. A police officer's daughter goes missing, and he sets off to find her on a small island off Washington and encounters less-than-friendly neo-pagans.Nicolas Cage, Ellen BurstynAlthough the original was celebrated, this was panned. Largely, the criticisms relate to Nic Cage's over acting. It received 5 Razzie nominations.4 out of 5Yes
Birdemic: Shock and Terror2008Two old classmate meet and fall in love, just as their town is attacked by birds.Although the film is probably something of a self-parody, it features terrible acting, awful CGI and a silly plot.4 out of 5No!
Thankskilling2009A cursed turkey kills students during the Thanksgiving break.A $3,500 budget. A cursed, foul-mouthed Turkey. Yes, it really is hilariously bad. But, it should be noted that there is a self-awareness that exists with this movie that doesn't with other bad movies. And a beakqual, er, sequel is on the way!4 out of 5Yes
Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus2010The megashark from the previous film comes back with a giant crocodile from the Congo as our other antagonist. The US Army tries to stop it before it destroys the world.The Army makes really stupid decisions, the actors aren't the same actors from the first movie, really bad accents, and the CGI is horrid -- the Crocosaurus changes sizes several times. Much more enjoyable than first film.4 out of 5
The FP2011In a post apocalyptic future, two rival gangs fight for control of Frazier Park by playing "Beat Beat Revelation", a deadly version of Dance, Dance, Revolution.DDR Gang Fights, nonsensical dialogue, and perhaps an innovative retelling of the American Civil War?4 out of 5Yes
Thankskilling 32012The cursed Turkie returns to killing after learning that his movie, Thankskilling 2, has been banned and destroyed. One copy remains and he sets out to find it.This film is fucking insane. Seriously mental. It features some of the following: rapping grandmas, puppets, ass-vortexes, killer turkeys, dubstep and Thanksgivingland.4 out of 5
The Garbage Pail Kids1987A group of gross, bizarre-looking space aliens come to earth in a flying trash can, only to be exploited and forced to make clothes so a twelve year old boy can impress a twenty year old girl.An absolutely baffling attempt at children's entertainment. Enjoyable with friends who also like bad movies, but imaginably horrid alone.3½ out of 5Yes
Killer Klowns From Outer Space1988A race of aliens who look like clowns invade earth in order to capture and harvest humans as sustenance.John VernonAlthough it's intended as a comedy, it does work as a bad movie too. It's a fairly stupid concept.3½ out of 5Yes
Poochinski1990A cop is killed in action... but returns as a dog.Peter Boyle, George NewbernWorth noting that this is just a failed TV pilot, but it's still awful. Classic dialogue includes "Look at me. I've become a dog". 3½ out of 5No (available on Youtube)
Leprechaun: In The Hood (Leprechaun 5: In The Hood)2000Wannabe Los Angeles rap artists Postmaster P., Stray Bullet and Butch accidentally free a Leprechaun that was imprisoned by record producer Mac Daddy O'Nassas 20 years earlier. The film follows the three as they attempt to evade the powerful Leprechaun and violent Mack Daddy, both of whom seek a magical flute with mind-altering capabilities, possessed by the young trio.Ice-T, Warwick DavisGiven that it's Leprechaun 5 at this point, it's safe to assume there is a degree of self-awareness here. It's a campy film, it's obviously ridiculous but it's quite funny and worth a watch. What's better than leprechauns rapping?3½ out of 5Yes
Titanic: The Legend Goes On...2000An animated retelling of the worst passenger ship disaster in history. In this version, love blossoms between the upper-class Sir William and the blue-collar Angelica, who is hoping to find romance in America. yThat's right, it's an animated movie about the Titanic. It is almost mocking the whole tragedy. Filled with talking animals (I don't even know...), a rapping dog (fuck me...), and other shit. It is a piece of work. #1 on IMDB's bottom 1003½ out of 5No
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon2002When two researchers discover an enormous shark tooth, their worst fears are realised as a giant shark goes on a killing spree.John BarrowmanIf you YouTube 'awful CGI' this film will probably come up. The shark animations are beyond cheap-looking. Also, it features an incredible ad-libbed pickup line3½ out of 5Yes
The Gingerdead Man2005A crazed killer is cremated and his ashes are mixed in with a gingerbread mix. When this mix is used to make gingerbread men, one of them becomes possessed with the soul of the crazed killer, and begins to terrorize a local family bakery.Gary BuseyProbably somewhat self-aware but still awful and hilarious. Gary Busey voices a psychotic gingerbread man who has come to life. What else do you need to know?3½ out of 5Yes
Open Water 2: Adrift2006A group of friends on a yacht. They forget to let the ladder down before they jump into the ocean for a swimThe characters are completely retarded. The film addicts you into see what is the stupid thing they will try next to get on the boat.3½ out of 5Yes (Youtube)
Devil's Rain, The1975An evil cult leader returns for revenge against the family who stole his book of souls given to Satan, centuries before.William Shatner, Tom Skerritt, Ernest Borgnine, John Travolta (minor part)There is so much wrong with this movie, and yet so much right. Don't expect perfect plot, high budget, or even great acting from the people you know can act. It's hilarious to watch in a group.3 out of 5Yes
Death Machines1976An evil Japanese woman injects a white, black and Asian guy with a mystery serum that transforms the three into superhuman assassins. She uses them to kill other people's assassins to monopolize the mystery city's contract killing underworld. It's up to an inept police lieutenant and a hopeless amputee to stop them.Paul Kyriazi (?)The "heroes" do nothing of note that can put a stop to the assassins, and you have what is likely the saddest cinematic "romance" involving the lead and a perpetually disappointed nurse.3 out of 5No
Message from Space1978A group of kids and an old man are charged by glowing space walnuts to save the universeSonny Chiba, Vic MorrowJapan's answer to Star Wars. It's fun figuring out which character from Star Wars is being ripped-off scene-by-scene. Vic Morrow looks awesome in any scene that takes place in a bar3 out of 5No
The Stuff1985A mysterious, sentient slime that oozes from the ground is sold as a popular dessert treat... with deadly results hy ybyBad special and practical effects, logic gaps and a kid eats shaving cream in an attempt to pull a fast one on his evil parents3 out of 5Yes
Deadly Prey1987A kidnapped mercenary, hunted as part of some mercenary training excercise, single-handedly takes out every mercenary in a mercenary training campTed PriorThe main character spends a majority of the movie, and obtains most of his kills, wearing nothing but his underwear. He also eats live worms on camera at one point 3 out of 5No
Deathstalker 21987A kidnapped mercenary, hunted as part of some mercenary training excercise, single-handedly takes out every mercenary in a mercenary training campLots of cheesy lines, a doofy main hero, unnecessary boobs, and other oddities make it pretty enjoyable. Not to mention the opening line being the name of the movie.3 out of 5Yes
Nasty Hero1987An ex-con goes back to Miami to help a friend find his kidnapped niece. He's feeling nasty.A pretty bad TV movie that's awfully generic but fairly entertaining for its comically bad villains.3 out of 5
Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare (aka Edge of Hell)1987A trashy hair metal band locates to a small house in Canada to record their next album and have lots of sex amidst playing their cheesy derivative 80s music, but all is not what it seems...Jon Mikl ThorBasically a Canadian version of Evil Dead starring "muscle rock" pioneer Thor. There are lots of cringe-worthy sex scenes, penis monsters, and bad music video interludes, but none of this prepares you for the ending of this movie, which makes this movie an instant classic.3 out of 5No
Dead Heat1988Buddy cop flick, only one of the cops is a reanimated corpse. And the bad guys are reanimated corpses, tooTreat Williams, Joe Piscopo, Vincent PriceAt one point the cops duke it out with a zombie cow3 out of 5Yes
R.O.T.O.R1988Terminator meets Robocop: a cyborg police enforcer goes rogue and starts killing anyone it thinks is committing a crimeCheapo flick made in Dallas, TX. Notable for cheesy synthesizer score, bad dialogue, and a couple of funny scenes involving our hero, Officer Barrett Coldyron (pronounced "Cold Iron").3 out of 5
Purani Haveli1989An old mansion harbors an evil monster that kills and devours anyone who enters.Anil Dhawan, Preeti SapruThis Hindi film was directed by two very famous bad 80s horror directors known as the Ramsey Brothers.3 out of 5Yes
Revenge of Billy The Kid1989The horny farmer McDonald has his wicked way with a goat. Life returns to normal for the family, until the goat gives birth... At one point, the farmer bangs his wife using lard as lube. Yes.3 out of 5
Robowar1989Basically Predator but with a cyborg instead of an alien, idiot mercs and budgetReb Brownbibibibibibibibibib.....Greasy. Greasy3 out of 5No
American Kickboxer 11991A disgraced kickboxing champ tries to climb back to the top.bhhFunny title considering there was never an "American Kickboxer 2." Main character is completely unlikeable, making this pretty funny.3 out of 5No
Breathing Fire1991A retired martial artist and two karate brats protect a young girl from murderous bank robbers out to tie loose ends.Jonathan Ke Quan (Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom), Bolo YeungShort Round fights midgets in a bar, and Bolo Yeung dresses in drag. There is also "humor." That is all.3 out of 5No
Space Thunder Kids1991The Dark Empire decides to conquer the galaxy, teaming up with North Korea to take over Earth. The world's Allied Forces strike back by designing three mechs piloted by the brave Space Thunder KidsFeaturing suspiciously familiar mechasJoseph Lai, the mastermind behind the legendary Godfrey Ho, works his editing magic on several anime series that he came into dubious legal possession of after acquiring a failing Korean studio. The result is an insufferably padded incoherent mess dubbed by the same actors from the Godfrey Ho movies.3 out of 5No
Deadfall1993When con artist Joe accidentally kills his father Mike during a sting, he tries to carry out his fathers dying wish and recover valuables from Lou, Mike's twin brother.Nicolas Cage, Charlie Sheen, Michael BiehnA fairly drab film made utterly watchable by Nic Cage's ridiculous performance. His character is supposed to be unhinged and angry but Cage takes it to another level. The best (meaning worst) moments are when he takes to the screen, but he is not the lead character.3 out of 5Yes
No More Dirty Deals1993A gullible boat mechanic falls in with a gang of free-spirited Miami bohemians who are not what they seem.What started on a high point for Taimak's career in The Last Dragon quickly went downhill. This movie sees him playing the bad guy in a cheesy Z-grade Miamisploitation flick.3 out of 5
Tammy and the T-Rex1994After being killed by bullies a high school kid's brain is put into an animatronic dinosaurDenise Richards, Paul WalkerWorth watching just for the striptease scene at the end3 out of 5No (available on YouTube)
Savage1996A farmer witnesses the murder of his family by mysterious assailants and wakes up with fractured memories and superhuman powers, finding himself at the center of a cosmic conspiracy.Olivier GrunerThe plot of this movie is ridiculously convoluted, somehow incorporating martial arts, video games, and space aliens. The results are mixed but entertaining enough.3 out of 5No
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter2001Jesus christ returns again to fight against a mad scientist and his army of vampire-killing lesbians. There's also something about atheists.It's an intentionally bad movie, but that doesn't stop it from being fun. It does start to drag in the last third, however at 85 minutes it's still worth a watch.3 out of 5Yes
Out of Reach2004A former government agent turned wildlife enthusiast saves his kidnapped pen-pal from human traffickers.Steven SeagalFairly standard DTV action flick with a nonsensical plot and Seagal's voice being periodically dubbed over. Has some scenes with interesting cinematography and a final fight that is actually very good visually.3 out of 5
The Happening2008A strange, horrible and unprecedented crisis begins in Central Park. A high school science teacher, his wife and a young girl do what they can to survive it. Also, trees. Marky Mark (Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John LeguizamoOne of the most dry performances from actor Mark Wahlberg. The plot is pretty ridiculous. There are funny moments sprinkled within the movie, most being simply from watching Wahlberg reacting strangely to the most ordinary and boring of things. 3 out of 5Yes
Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus2009Global warming unfreezes a megashark and a giant octopus who had been frozen together in battle during the ice age.Deborah GibsonIt's an Asylum production, so it's terrible.3 out of 5Yes
02010A similar vessel sets sail 100 years after the original Titanic did, but global warming causes a Greenland glacier to collapse, causing a massive tsunami.Shane Van Dyke, Bruce DavidsonAs awful as it sounds. I think that the tsunami is said to be about 40 miles high or something outrageous. 3 out of 5Yes
Dahmer vs. Gacy2010The U.S. government try to create the ultimate killer by splicing the genes of newly ressurected Jeffery Dahmer and John Wayne Gacy. The two escape and go one a killing spree. It is all up to a hick named Ringo, led by God to save mankind from these super killers. Also, the Japanese send their assassins after the killers for their own needs. And yes, the Japanese assassins are, in fact, ninjas. Harland Williams as GodThis is really bad if you take it seriously, but the acting is really over-the-top, just like the plot. Slightly better cinematography than you would find on YouTube. Definitely not for everyone and should not be viewed alone. 3 out of 5No
River of Darkness2010When an unspeakable evil falls upon a quiet river town, the sheriff must act fast to stop a series of grisly murders, while also uncovering the towns seedy past.Ex-wrestlers galore: Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash and Psycho Sid Vicious. Also features Bill Hinzman (cemetery zombie from the classic 1968 Night Of The Living Dead)Kurt Angle proves again that he can't act properly in a movie. It's a silly plot which is only exacerbated by the unlikable characters. A more enjoyable watch than Angle's other movie, End Game.3 out of 5Yes
Rubber2010When Robert, a tire, discovers his destructive telepathic powers, he soon sets his sights on a desert town; in particular, a mysterious woman becomes his obsession.This isn't really a bad movie so much as it is an arthouse movie spoofing the grindhouse aesthetic to tell a story about the nature of audiences and observers. Worth seeing, but don't expect a silly exploitation movie; there's more to this one.3 out of 5Yes
Silent Night, Deadly Night 21987A sequel. Ricky, the brother of the killer in the first film, talks to a psychitrist about how he became a brutal killer after his brother died, leading back to Mother Superior.GARBAGE DAY!2½ out of 5No
Undefeatable1994Kristi Jones and her gang take on Mafia-run streets in order to raise money for her sisters College education.Cynthia Rothrock, directed by Awful movie legend Godfrey HoBecame famous after the dreadfully cheesy fight scenes were uploaded to YouTube, ranking millions of hits.2½ out of 5Yes
House Of The Dead2003A group of teens arrive on an island for a rave--only to discover the island has been taken over by zombiesClint Howard (Ron's brother)HotD was a light-gun video game commonly seen at arcades. This is directed by the talentless German Uwe Boll. Rotten Tomatoes describes it as "A grungy, disjointed, mostly brainless mess of a film, House of the Dead is nonetheless loaded with unintentional laughs". Says enough, I think.2½ out of 5Yes
Shark In Venice2008While David is in Venice trying to track down his missing father, he is approached by a shadowy group who ensnare David into recovering ancient treasure hidden in underwater caves. However, David isn't prepared for a large, hungry menace which is patrolling the Venice canals.Stephen Baldwin, Vanessa Johannson (Scarlett's sister)The plot is rather silly, with sharks and ancient treasure. Surprisingly, this does seem to have had a decent budget. A lot of the outside filming is genuinely Venice. Baldwin is quite monotonous and wooden in the movie.2½ out of 5Yes
Sharktopus2010A US-military engineered shark escapes and causes havoc off Santa Monica.Eric RobertsFairly campy television movie. The CGI of the sharktopus is not great.2½ out of 5Yes
Die-ner2010A serial killer tries to stall a couple that walks into the diner where he just murdered everyone inside.  Then zombies appear and fuck everything up.A guy that looks like a cross between Edward Norton and James Van Der Beek.There is no explanation for the zombies, and I think I personally insulted the Director on accident.  He is quoted as saying "I'm sorry for trying to entertain you with my terrible movie."2 out of 5.Yes
Zardoz1974In a post-apocalyptic future, a ruthless barbarian finds himself the captive of languishing immortal overseers who are bored to death.Sean ConneryAn incredibly bizarre John Boorman-directed sci-fi film that tries to be deep and symbolic but ends up being painful. Also an unsuccessful attempt by Sean Connery to distance himself from James Bond. Redeemed only by the ridiculous costumes that Connery is made to wear.2 out of 5No
The New Barbarians (aka Warriors of the Wasteland)1983Italian Mad Max ripoff with bad guys who wear funny plastic armor and ride around in go-karts with flame throwers and weed whackers attached.Fred WilliamsonThe costumes and vehicles are funny, but the rest of the film is unremarkable. The main character is completely incompetent as an action hero2 out of 5No
Gymkata1985Cold war intrigue, a Game of Death competition, and the original mixed martial arts: Karate and Gymnastics!Kurt Thomas, champion gymnastOur pursued hero conveniently encounters pommel horses, parallel bars, rings, etc in a remote Slavic village and uses them to deliver beatdowns. Punches that sound like Moe slapping Curley add authentic lo-budget chop socky flavor2 out of 5
Low Blow1986Leo Fong plays a San Francisco private eye hired to find a missing girl who has been kidnapped by an evil cult.hLeo Fong unravels the case by kicking lots of ass. Also features a very weird cult priestess. Overall a fairly boring movie.2 out of 5No
Ninja The Protector1986The Chief of Police moonlights as a Ninja vigilante. Also, two brothers get tangled-up in a mafia love triangleRichard HarrisonThe entire film seems like two completely different and not-entirely-thought-out movies stitched together2 out of 5Yes (Also available on Youtube)
Ninja Turf (aka LA Streetfighters)1986A friendly neighborhood Asian street gang find themselves on the wrong side of the mob when they make off with the mob's cocaine. Meanwhile there is relationship and momma drama.Jun Chong, Philip RheeAnother Tae Kwon-Do-sploitation flick similar but far inferior to "Miami Connection." Notable for its many strange scenes and middle aged actors portraying teenagers. All of the dialogue is badly dubbed despite being filmed in the US. Not bad, but you're better off watching "Miami Connection."2 out of 5Yes (Youtube)
Blood Street1988Bruce Lee-associate Leo Fong plays a private eye caught in the middle of a martial arts gang war after a mysterious woman hires him to find her husband.Leo Fong, Richard Norton, Chuck Jeffries, Kym PaigeLeo Fong, a middle-aged Chinese guy with a Bill Clinton-like accent, is a PI who "investigates" mysteries by going places and beating the crap out of people for no reason. Also features Chuck Jeffries, who bares a scary resemblance to Eddie Murphy.2 out of 5No
976-EVIL1989A socially awkward nerd resorts to a Satanic pact in order to win the girl of his dreams, and gradually becomes a demon in the process.Stephen Geoffreys80s camp to the extreme, and surprisingly directed by Robert Englund. I felt like this was a bad movie I wanted to like, but just couldn't.2 out of 5Yes
Sauria1994A research team crosses paths with dinosaurs in 1990s Pennsylvania.One needs no further introduction to the trashy Polonia Brothers movies than this one. Z-grade.2 out of 5No
Grim Weekend (Sick Insane Clown Killer)2003A couple of friends are chased by a killer clown in the woods during a weekend.Shitty acting, dialogue and plot. It almost feels like a student production. 2 out of 5
The Foreigner2003A former CIA agent is hired to deliver a mysterious package.Steven SeagalThe first of Seagal's direct-to-video movies. Seagal looks out of shape and clearly phones it in. His voice is even dubbed by another actor, supposedly because the plot of the movie was changed after it was shot.2 out of 5
Backwoods2006Luther, an "ex-genius, redneck, transvestite" enacts revenge on the teenagers that done killed his mama.None.Extremely low budget independent film. Found this in a locally owned used records store.  This probably wasn't meant to see the light of day.2 out of 5No
Driven to Kill2009A former Russian mobster turned author returns to his old ways after his family is brutally slain.Steven SeagalActually has decent production values for a DTV Seagal flick. Seagal is wooden as always but seems to put more effort into the fight choreography than usual.2 out of 5
End Game2009Police attempt to track down and capture a serial killer.Kurt Angle (Ex-WWE Wrestler), Jessica MorascaAngle's first movie role, and it's crap. He is pretty emotionless throughout the piece, accompanied by some poor dialogue.2 out of 5Yes
Kid Racer2010Tale of a kid who wants to win a racing competition. You know the drill, it's that story of triumph thats been told a million times before. But wait, there is a twist! Go-Karts!..Family' film that is so formulaic and predictible, you know the drill from the first frame or so. The acting is monotone, the story sucks. The actors are trying to be Disney but come off more 'Cats and Dogs', if you know what I mean. How could anyone find this joyful?
2 out of 5No
Mega Piranha2010When genetically modified piranhas attack and kill a US ambassador in Venezuala, an effort is made to stop the spread to FloridaTiffany, Paul LoganIt's an Asylum production, so you know what to expect: horrible camera work, reused scenes, terrible CGI.2 out of 5
Blubberella2011A morbidly obese vampire decides to track down Hitler after she becomes convinced that Nazi's are stealing all her online dating boyfriends.Uwe Boll, Lindsey Hollister, Clint HowardUwe Boll made a documentary about the Holocaust, which wasn't terrible.  It was quite informative and took the matter very seriously.  Then, afterwards, he used the same sets and props to make a movie about a fat vampire that kills Nazis.2 out of 5Yes
Two-Headed Shark2012A two-headed shark terrorizes a bunch of teenage stereotypes near a collapsing atollDave Navarro's ex, Jerry O'Connell's brother and Hulk Hogan's daughterThe kids are annoying jackasses and the adults are useless. You wind-up rooting for the shark2 out of 5Yes
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats1977An example of a bad-bad movie. It's not the kind of film that you get drunk with your mates and watch, as it's just not funny. The title is hilarious, but the movie is pretty drab. There is one single hilarious scene in it regarding hands. You'll know it when you see it.1 out of 5Yes
Jack Frost1996It's just bad.  The acting is horrible, the special effects are laughable, and the plot itself has no substance.  The boy who plays the Sherriff's son is obviously disabled, as he adds antifreeze to oatmeal "to keep warm" and uses an oven mitt as a reference guide while building a snowman, you know, just in case he forgets what one looks like.1 out of 5Yes
Blood on the Highway2008Idiot vampires have taken over a small Texas town, and it's up to three young people slightly smarter than them to save the day.None whatsoever.The trailer was the best part about this movie. It tried to be bad, then went above and beyond into practically unviewable territory.1 out of 5Yes
Killer Shrews, The2010On an isolated island, a small group of people are terrorized by giant voracious shrews in the midst of a hurricane.Strap some rugs to a few dogs and you've got some pretty scary giant rodents? Not really. But a good midnight movie, when you've run out of absolutely anything else to watch.1 out of 5Yes
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