2012 MGOBLOG B1G DRAFT-O-SNARK
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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW
1
RdPickOverallPlayerSchoolPosHtWtYrTeamSnark o' Seth
2
111Denard RobinsonMICHQB6'0197SRSETHI win.
3
122Montee BallWISRB5'11215SRACECall me when he drafts the entire Wisconsin o-line.
4
133Braxton MillerOSUQB6'2210SOHEIKOHeiko = Ramzy from 11W
5
144John SimonOSUWDE6'2260SRBRIANDamn you.
6
215Taylor LewanMICHOT6'8309RS JRBRIANDouble dog damn you and I hope you end up with Scheelhaase at quarterback
7
226Taylor MartinezNEBRB6'1200Jr.HEIKOCrazy? Like a fox. If foxes were all about screwing Brian.
8
237James VandenbergIOWAQB6'3212SRACEClassy.
9
248Kawann ShortPUR3T6'3315SRSETHEat.
10
319Johnathan HankinsOSUNT6'3317JRSETHIt.
11
3210Chris BorlandWISLB-MLB5'11242RS JRACECheese count at 2.
12
3311Kyle PraterNWWR6'5215SOHEIKOCrazy like a fox who can only read Rivals.com.
13
3412Nathan ScheelhaaseILLQB6'3195RS JRBRIANBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
14
4113Denicos AllenMSULB-SAM5'11225JRBRIANThis is how we learned Brian falls in love with other teams' players during UFR too.
15
4214Michael BuchananILLWDE6'6240SRHEIKONot crazy. Except there's so much better available. Okay.
16
4315Ricky WagnerWISOT6'6317RS SRACEEntire Wisconsin offensive line: engaged (Cheese count: 3)
17
4416Jonathan BrownILLLB-MLB6'1235JRSETHIf you're gonna draft like a nut, I'm picking a nutcracker.
18
5117Michael SchofieldMICHOT6'7300RS JRSETHDouble dog damn you again for Lewan instead of a quarterback when you had the chance.
19
5218William GholstonMSUWDE6'7278JRACEAll that hype has to be worth the 3rd WDE taken.
20
5319Devin GardnerMICHWR6'4203JRHEIKOI just... 19th overall? Millen?
21
5420Jared AbbrederisWISWR6'2188RS JRBRIANBrian only likes cheeses that come in tiny packages and have names nobody can pronounce.
22
6121Terry HawthorneILLCB6'0190SRBRIANFirst corner off the board isn't Johnny Adams? Now Ace or Heiko is gonna take Adams. Please be Millen Please be Millen Please be Milllen....
23
6222DeAnthony ArnettMSUWR5'11170SOHEIKOYES! Okay Ace, please be Bielema please be Bielema, please be Bielema...
24
6323Johnny AdamsMSUCB5'11177SRACEDangit!
25
6424Marcus RushMSU5T6'2250SOSETHYou may now change the name of all your QBs to "twitching pile of splintered bones and gooey soft tissue"
26
7125Micah HydeIOWACB6'1190SRSETHNo Adams? No big deal.
27
7226Keenan DavisIOWAWR6'3215SRACESince Heiko took all the late-round value picks, WR just got srs.
28
7327Jordan HillPSUNT6'1292SR/SRHEIKOHey look, they're starting to realize defensive lines aren't just made up of unblocked pass rushers...
29
7428Akeem SpenceILL3T6'1305RS JRBRIANditto.
30
8129Jake RyanMICHLB-SAM6'3242RS SOBRIAN[shakes fist]. You might not know it but this is when I decided to take Kovacs.
31
8230Brett MaherNEBK/P6'0185Sr.HEIKOSince his O is all receivers and QBs, wise to draft a punter.
32
8331Mike TaylorWISLB-WLB6'2224RS SRACECheese count: 4
33
8432Gerald HodgesPSULB-SAM6'2237SR/SRSETHIs like previous OLB picks except better at football.
34
9133Jordan KovacsMICHSS6'0202RS SRSETHGrittership.
35
9234Ricardo AllenPURCB5'9186JRACEHUGE TACKLING NUMBERS because he waits to MAKE PLAYS until after the guy he's covering has already caught the ball.
36
9335Isaiah LewisMSUFS/SS5'10205JRHEIKOActually he's a strong safety. But whatever--your moment of sanity irks me.
37
9436Fitzgerald ToussaintMICHRB5'10202RS JRBRIANFine, if you want to do our RBs here I'll take Le'Ve....
38
10137Le'Veon BellMSURB/FB6'2244JRBRIANYou. Bastard.
39
10238C.J. BarnettOSUSS6'1202JRHEIKOSnark is more fun when it means we get to pull up plays from the Game 2011.
40
10339Ibraheim CampbellNWSS5'11205SOACEUnquestioned leader of unquestionably the worst secondary in the conference.
41
10440Rex BurkheadNEBRB5'11210Sr.SETHSo much effort expended to force me to pick a Heisman candidate.
42
11141Kofi HughesINDWR6'2210JRSETHIt's like a Heiko pick except actually a Big Ten receiver.
43
11242Travis FrederickWISOC6'4338RS JRACECheese count: 5
44
11343Craig RohMICH5T6'5281SRHEIKOIf Heiko was an NHL GM he'd be the guy who signs complimentary Red Wings like Jiri Hudler to huge contracts.
45
11444Chris McDonaldMSUOG6'5298SRBRIANNo snark here. I got greedy by not taking him when I could.
46
12145Jack MewhortOSUOT6'6310JRBRIANSO MUCH snark here. Mewhort was a turnstile in losses to both state of Michigan teams.
47
12246Ryan ShazierOSULB-WLB6'2226SOHEIKOStandard Denard wins Snark.
48
12347Spencer LongNEBOG6'4305Jr.ACEA great pick at guard, unless you're playing manball. Oh wait.
49
12448Jacob PedersenWISTE6'4237RS JRSETHBest tight end in the conference.
50
13149Graham PocicILLOT6'7310RS SRSETHManbeast.
51
13250Jake StoneburnerOSUTE6'5245SRACEIn a world where Urban Meyer suspensions last more than a week...
52
13351Max BulloughMSULB-MLB6'3252JRHEIKOIn a world where what Pat Narduzzi says is true...
53
13452Beau AllenWISNT6'3335JRBRIANName means "pretty blonde." Or "pretty bad DT pairing."
54
14153Bradley RobyOSUCB5'11190SOBRIANNo snark.
55
14254Baker SteinkuhlerNEB3T6'6290Sr.HEIKOAaaaand now we see why I drafted the DTs first.
56
14355Cameron MeredithNEB5T6'4260Sr.ACEWhy is everyone so down on Meredith? He's okay.
57
14456Ricky BarnumMICHOG6'3296RS SRSETHHAIL TO THE MICHIGAN LINEMEN HAIL TO THE SPREAD GUARDS VALIANT
58
15157Kenny BellNEBWR6'1185So.SETHHail, hail, to receivers with dreadlocks
59
15258Michael MautiPSULB-MLB6'2232GS/SRACEIn a world where Michael Mauti's ACL lasts more than five min...[TWANG!]. Oh dear.
60
15359Kenny DemensMICHLB-MLB6'1242RS SRHEIKOTHERE ARE BETTER LBS ON THE BOARD WHAT ARE YOU ...HAIL TO THE...
61
15460MarQueis GrayMINQB/WR6'4250SRBRIANYou sure he's not a tight end at that size?
62
16161C.J. FiedorowiczIOWATE6'7265JRBRIANYou sure he's still a tight end at that size?
63
16262J.T. FloydMICHCB6'0183RS SRHEIKOWait, you did this because you read my article? Dude haven't I made it abundantly clear during the time we've known each other that I haven't a fucking clue what I'm talking about?
64
16363William CampbellMICHNT6'5308SRACEIf it wouldn't mean laughing at our 2012 DL prospects I would laugh.
65
16464James FerentzIOWAOC6'2284SRSETHLike David Molk except not-ier.
66
17165Jeremy GallonMICHSlot5'8187RS JRSETHI snatched Snoop. Snoink!
67
17266Ondre PipkinsMICHNT6'3340FRACEOkay now I laugh. Why not take Jibreel Black?
68
17367Patrick OmamehMICHOG6'4305RS SRHEIKOFoiled by the guy who just realized offensive lines exist. Damn my big mouth.
69
17468Blake CountessMICHCB5'10180SOBRIANHey boss leave some for us!
70
18169Daimion StaffordNEBFS6'1205Sr.BRIANDon't look now but you've drafted Michael Williams: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntStRhBO0bY
71
18270Fou FonotiMSUOT6'4296SRHEIKOIf Skyler Burkhead doesn't take his job. Fonoti should be a guard anyway.
72
18371Brian MulroeNWOG6'4295SRACEI thought...if someone takes Omameh I'll get Mulroe. But noooo.....
73
18472Thomas GordonMICHFS5'11207RS JRSETHWill cause and recover 18 fumbles, and Brian will say it's just luck.
74
19173Josh JohnsonPURCB5'11195SRSETHAdvanced stats best CB in the conference.
75
19274Kain ColterNWQB/WR6'0190JRACEYou guys do realize Roy Roundtree...ah nevermind.
76
19375James MorrisIOWALB-WLB/FB6'2230JRHEIKOEPIC SNARK!!!!!!!!!!!!
77
19476Matt StankiewitchPSUOC6'3301SR/SRBRIANJust be an option offense Brian.
78
20177Ra'shede HagemanMIN5T6'6301RS JRBRIANMinnesota gets excited they have a 300-pound guy. Brian gets excited over lolphers
79
20278Darqueze DennardMSUCB5'11188JRHEIKODennard picked 78th, prompting Free Press columnist to pen article about how Dennard is always overlooked.
80
20379Supo SanniILLFS6'3220RS SRACEUm, it was the front 7, not this linebacker of a safety, who made Illinois good against passing last year.
81
20480Will ComptonNEBLB-MLB6'2230Sr.SETHA linebacker this good this late just says how deep the conference is. And how bad Ace & Heiko are at drafting linebackers.
82
21181Lawrence ThomasMSUWDE6'3295RS FRSETHNo 300-pound dude in the conference is as fast.
83
21282James WhiteWISRB5'10197JRACECheese Count: SIX
84
21383Chris NormanMSULB-WLB6'1233SRHEIKOReady for Heiko to regret this pick too? Desmond Morgan is a former QUARTERBACK!
85
21484Kevonte Martin-ManleyIOWAWR6'0205SOBRIANSo you're taking a guy with the same Fr numbers as Devin Smith b/c the quarterback throwing to KMM was better. Okaaaaayy....
86
22185Ryan GroyWISOG6'5318RS JRBRIANDirk Hardpeck is a 6'5 320 lb. redshirt junior who steps in to replace Blast Hardcheese at right guard.
87
22286Patrick WardNWOT6'7310SRHEIKOSo this is basically Huyge, but Northwestern has been getting by with Huyges for years.
88
22387Rob HavensteinWISOT6'8342RS SOACECheese count: SEVEN!!!!
89
22488Jeremiah SirlesNEBOT6'6310Jr.SETHThis whole time you have no idea how stoked I've been to draft him late.
90
23189Drew BasilOSUK6'1210JRSETHDraft the best player at his position in the 23rd round: win.
91
23290Courtney AveryMICHNickel5'11173JRACEWhat, Wisconsin didn't have any nickel corners?
92
23391Brandon VitabileNWOC6'3300SOHEIKOHeiko pulls out a young Molk at pick 91? Has he gone sane?
93
23492Desmond MorganMICHLB-WLB6'1227SOBRIANHomer.
94
24193Christian BryantOSUFS5'10190JRBRIANA cover guy who doesn't cover: What, were the Stevie Brown/Ryan Mundy years not enough for you?
95
24294Danny O'BrienWISQB6'3223RS JRHEIKONope, hasn't gone sane.
96
24395Dan ConroyMSUK5'10186SRACEConroy career arc. 2009: 100 percent - 2010: 93.3 percent - 2011: 73.9 percent - 2012: 50 percent?
97
24496Troy StoudermireMINCB5'10195SRSETHIt's not that we don't acknowledge Minnesota's existence Brian, it's that we think their far and away best player ought to get drafted first.
98
25197Roy RoundtreeMICHWR6'0180RS SRSETHTreehugger.
99
25298Cody WebsterPURP6'1210JRACEI don't snark at punters who can punt.
100
25399Dion SimsMSUTE6'5285JRHEIKOIf you like MSU practice reports so much why did you draft DeAnthony Arnett?
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