A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | |
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1 | I am haunted by feedback | the deep-freeze | theres not enough budget | minimum viable product | ||||||||||||||||
2 | Acceptance criteria | we can't put things on the wall | set the build-indicator to grey-scale | done-done | ||||||||||||||||
3 | Kanban | resistance | kudo-cards | fake scrum | ||||||||||||||||
4 | Daily Dance-Up | dreaming of waterfall | you're doing it wrong | play with Lego bricks | ||||||||||||||||
5 | Feedback | release-train engineer | the user is wrong | shu-ha-ri | ||||||||||||||||
6 | Goldratt | licking post-its' backside | Lego bricks | mob-programming | ||||||||||||||||
7 | The Burndown | I want to feel SAFe | put it on the sticky | post-its | ||||||||||||||||
8 | Sprint Planning that lasts 8 hours | scaliing head-count | failure | fake portfolio management | ||||||||||||||||
9 | A ScrumMaster's Ghost | because we were told | ownership culture | a sexy ScrumMaster's butt | ||||||||||||||||
10 | Scrum-and | the ScrumMaster decided | compassion | Sprint Zero | ||||||||||||||||
11 | full-stack COBOL Developer | Product Backlog | using a voodoo doll | certification | ||||||||||||||||
12 | Essentiall SAFe | ScrumMaster from hell | Sprint Planning | can you do me a small favour | ||||||||||||||||
13 | Boris Glogger | a neck-tie delivering 50,000 volts | documentation | swimlanes | ||||||||||||||||
14 | Big Room Planning | yearly roadmap planning meeting | Planning Sprint | PSPI - potentially shippable product increment | ||||||||||||||||
15 | high-performance team | Agile Manifesto | bugs | write a test | ||||||||||||||||
16 | we are now doing PO-stories | we have a separate backlog for that | DevOps | User Acceptance Testing (UAT) | ||||||||||||||||
17 | we test in the next sprint | we'll use stickies | pair- programmin | Agile virus injections | ||||||||||||||||
18 | Cost rising | definition of fun | my team | this is how we do it | ||||||||||||||||
19 | hangover | twice the work for half the time | ITIL | commitment | ||||||||||||||||
20 | changing the sprint length | a horny ScrumMaster | PMI | licking user-stories cards to claim them as your own | ||||||||||||||||
21 | Martin Fowler | it's just a forecast | Prince2 | we don't do documentation | ||||||||||||||||
22 | Jeff Sutherland | refactoring | a burndown gone up | sprint goal | ||||||||||||||||
23 | we will give 110% | values and principles | we changed the customer's requirements | a team-full of men | ||||||||||||||||
24 | it's not my job | hours | we changed the acceptance criteria | happy testers | ||||||||||||||||
25 | Bavarian native speaker | story-points | we changed the DoD | Scrummerfall | ||||||||||||||||
26 | chocolate | meetings | team without a board | craftsman | ||||||||||||||||
27 | testing is in Ukraine | lying | missing the release train | there is a lot of licking | ||||||||||||||||
28 | a retrospective with only the ScrumMaster | Polish team members | not in the budget | project manager as a ScrumMaster | ||||||||||||||||
29 | team members in India | the scientific method | sprint | dot-voting | ||||||||||||||||
30 | marshmallow | promiscuous pair-programming | naked User Stories | tummy-ache | ||||||||||||||||
31 | middle management | theory of constraints | random story-point generator | group dynamic | ||||||||||||||||
32 | hugs | death march | feature | retrospective | ||||||||||||||||
33 | hugging | coaching | remote team-member | mocking the ScrumMaster | ||||||||||||||||
34 | the Traditional Project Manager a.k.a. ScrumMaster | confluence | pairing | wome in short skirts | ||||||||||||||||
35 | HR Department | wikipedia | DSDM | a pile of former ScrumMasters' heads | ||||||||||||||||
36 | a task force | the Big Bang agile transformation | CSM training | the ScrumMaster whip | ||||||||||||||||
37 | The CEO | the newbie | a column on the task-board | ScrumBan | ||||||||||||||||
38 | Continuous delivery | thrown it over the wall | retro by video | seeing the PO naked | ||||||||||||||||
39 | a micromanaging PO | ScrumMaster | a dead ScrumMaster | whip-limits | ||||||||||||||||
40 | on-site customer | break the build | disable the tests | pre-mortem | ||||||||||||||||
41 | waterfall extremist | sharpies | Deming | the daily mosh-pit | ||||||||||||||||
42 | 1:1s | a bus-factor of 1 | the architects | the one female team-member | ||||||||||||||||
43 | why not? | agile games | Scrum | a micro-manager's wet dream | ||||||||||||||||
44 | 20-person scrum team | burndown | our DoD | backlog refinement | ||||||||||||||||
45 | waerfall-scrum-fall | thin air | visual facilitation | Agile song contest | ||||||||||||||||
46 | deadline | process agility | marshmallow challenge | hardening sprint | ||||||||||||||||
47 | extended the sprint | pretend Scrum | failed sprint | our CFD | ||||||||||||||||
48 | kanban without WIP-Limits | Agile Steerinng Group | the Penny Game | it's an experiment | ||||||||||||||||
49 | 2-hour long Daily Scrum | lying in Daily Scrum | a Jira ticket | Sprint goal | ||||||||||||||||
50 | Agile annual budget | diversity | absent Product Owner | hierarchy | ||||||||||||||||
51 | project | un-shippable product decrement | Agile Project Manager | timebox | ||||||||||||||||
52 | ask the Team | pigs & chickens | Jira | LeSS | ||||||||||||||||
53 | ask the PO | story cubes | it works on my machine | the CEO said so | ||||||||||||||||
54 | ask the ScrumMaster | having Daily Scrum in the pool | cost cuts | the SM decides | ||||||||||||||||
55 | ask the Project Manager | insect & adapt | sitting on the toilet during Daily Scrum | the customer | ||||||||||||||||
56 | backlog written on one post-it | getting verbally abused | a hitting stick | an ivory tower | ||||||||||||||||
57 | a pile of horse-$xxt user-storiies | eXtreme whining | not giving a $h*t about other team members | smelly team member | ||||||||||||||||
58 | let's switch to Nexus | an action item | Technical Debt | The Change Manager | ||||||||||||||||
59 | skipping the Retrospective | the login process | touching the women in Daily Scrum | the German Chancellor | ||||||||||||||||
60 | the drinking Finns | the silent Swede | the talkative Italian | authentication | ||||||||||||||||
61 | getting input | the cocktail napkins | a pile of sh*t | the sauna | ||||||||||||||||
62 | T-shirt sizes | blanks | allergy to sticky notes | write it on a post-it | ||||||||||||||||
63 | broken CD pipeline | Lift-off | remove it from the sprint | remove it from the demo | ||||||||||||||||
64 | just close it | estimate in man-days | #NoEstimates! | conferences | ||||||||||||||||
65 | planning poker | debug in production | retro retrospectives | comment out the text | ||||||||||||||||
66 | team charter | team work | team play | put it in production NOW | ||||||||||||||||
67 | working agreements | requirements document | the customer won't pay for this | this is waste | ||||||||||||||||
68 | sobriety | coding while sober | feelings retro | we've always done it that way | ||||||||||||||||
69 | scrum of scrums | Craig Larman | code review | coding standards | ||||||||||||||||
70 | human emotions | love | we broke the sprint | prototyping | ||||||||||||||||
71 | broken-hearted POs | a feature toggle | automation | split it | ||||||||||||||||
72 | tasty cupcakes | a serial-killer persona | because we are agile | we do standups | ||||||||||||||||
73 | drunken ScrumMaster | personal coaching | powerful questions | put it on the wiki | ||||||||||||||||
74 | information radiator | it's not a bug, it's a feature | Mike Cohn | home-office | ||||||||||||||||
75 | we are stuck in the sauna | we moved to the cloud | grab them by the story points | Kaizen | ||||||||||||||||
76 | nasty retrospectives | buggy feature | usability | no vision | ||||||||||||||||
77 | continuous delivery of beer | burndown paper | burndown the house | gin and tonic | ||||||||||||||||
78 | a woman ScrumMaster | it must be SAFe | the process | stale beer | ||||||||||||||||
79 | grab them by the sticky | empty backlog | disordered backlog | impediments | ||||||||||||||||
80 | write on whiteboard with permanent marker | showcase your rebel self | cowboy coding | real coders test in production | ||||||||||||||||
81 | Denning | the Kruger Dunning Effect | Cynefin | scaling | ||||||||||||||||
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