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Giving advice vs. making suggestionsAlternatives to giving adviceThings to rememberHelpful links
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There’s a difference between giving advice and making suggestions. The biggest differences are:We have all received advice from people before that didn't feel right, so we know that it is best to listen to people and help them find their own right path.It’s important to realize that even great suggestions can be unhelpful if they're not what the user is after.Yay links!
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If someone seems really unsure about their options and they can't come up with anything, you could work more collaboratively and tentatively raise possibilities and ask what the member thinks of them. It's always with the intention of throwing ideas out there and exploring them, rather than suggesting the idea is right.

Some lines you could use are:
"You mentioned you're not sure whether to ___... are you leaning towards any option in particular?"
"I'm wondering if you've thought about where you might go from here in terms of getting through tonight?"
"Has anything helped you in the past when you've been feeling like this... or is there anything you can think of that you might try?"
"You mentioned that in the past you spoke with a counsellor... what was that like for you?"
"I'm wondering if you have much support, anyone to talk to about what you're going through"
"Do you feel like you'd like more support through all that you're going through?"
"It sounds like you're stuck for ideas... I'm not sure if this would suit you but I'm wondering if you've ever tried distraction techniques when you've felt like this?"

Giving advice would be “You should try xxx” or “Why don’t you try ___?”. Making a suggestion would be “Would you consider ___?” or “Do you think ___ might help?” or “Have you heard of ___?”.

Advice tells the member what they should be doing, restricting the user's autonomy, and placing the "credit" with the listener, not the user. It makes the member feel pressured to do what you're saying, and if it works, it also makes takes away their pride of having solved their own problems. With suggestions, you merely give them an additional option. They can take it or leave it. Suggestions empower the member, open their options, and help give them the strength to find their own solutions. And in the end, they can feel more pride for having done ___ and making it work for them.		1. Explore their options: “What is one option? What are the positives and negatives about that option? What is another option? What are the pros and cons of that option? What option do you think makes the most sense for you”?

2. Make an observation. Point out ambivalence or the two sides of the coin: “On the one hand ___, but on the other hand ____".

3. Respond with a question. Ask questions to let them get a bigger picture of the situation.

4. Ask them what they would tell a friend if they were in the same situation. Sometimes, it is hard for us to objectively see our own lives, but very easy to objectively see another person’s life.

5. Ask them how they imagine themselves feeling several months after choosing Option A. Then how they would feel several months after choosing Option B.

6. Explain that problems can only be solved once the problem and a goal are defined. Let them define the problem and a goal. Go through the options that they have, and the pro’s and con’s of each option.

7. "Advice is really easy to give, but it can sometimes be wrong or even harmful. I don't have a full understanding of your life or world. Any advice I'd give you would be limited and potentially wrong. You are the expert on you. The best thing I can do for you is to help you figure out the path that makes the most sense to you."

8. "Let's take me and you for example. We talked together for ___ hours. In those hours, you gave me the information that you thought was important for me to know. Maybe you left out some info, maybe you didn't, I don't know. The point is, it would be impossible for me to know about everything that you've gone through in life. I also don't know every aspect of how you're feeling and how you have felt through the years. You're the one that knows everything about you and your life! If I would give you advice, it would be based on the 'few' things that you told me. You are the only one that can consider every aspect of the decision!"		1. Try to be as non-directive as possible. Supporting and empowering the member to make their own decisions/come up with their own strategies or solutions is one of the best things you can do in a chat. Before you say anything, check to make sure it's not disempowering or giving the impression that you know what they should do.

2. Most of the times, a person just feels like venting, or already knows a lot about what things might be helpful, or isn't at the point where they're ready to change things.

3. Most of the times, rather than trying to find solutions or fix things, just offering support and encouragement and letting a person know they aren't alone is the most helpful path of action for a listener to take.

4. There are times when it's clear from what a guest/member is saying or asking that they'd appreciate suggestions. If it's at all unclear, asking something like “Do you want to hear about some things that can sometimes help with ___? Or would you rather just talk?” can be a really useful way to determine what's going to be most helpful to a person.

5. We can't tell them how to fix it, but we can help guide them to what the right answer for them is. Our goal is to keep our beliefs and opinions outside of the chat and to focus on them, what is right for them, and help them feel better.

6. How can we help users come to a hightened, more evolved awareness about themselves or their situation on their own? If we are doing our job correctly, through showing empathy, asking appropriate questions and guiding the dialogue in an insightful direction, then the user will not need us to give them advice. They will come to it on their own. In that way, we are just guides. When a member comes to a conclusion on their own, the chat is a much more powerful experience for them. Figuring out that the tools you need to work through the situations that arise in your life are already within you is incredibly empowering! You do not want to deny any member that - do you?		7cups - Alternatives to giving advice (what to say?)
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7cups - Alternatives to giving advice
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7cups - Advice vs. suggestions
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7cups - How to handle requests for advice?
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Big thanks to AdventuRin, ElizaM, GlenM, Steve42, EyeInTheMind, Aurora02, Kane, !rene, LauraS, Chandra_PrettyPrettyPrincess, Olivia, YouDeserveLove, Randi, Bella4