INFO - Google Sheets

	A	B	C	D
1	NOME	USE	DISCOVERY	OBSERVATIONS
2	Alexa	Primitive humans used this as a weight to lift and strenghten their arms for hunting with spears.	Found in the wreckage of a modern human home. This is definitive proof that throughout time, humans have always valued the ability of hunting with spears.	Comes with an appendage. Likely used to hang around human wrists and prevent the weight from falling and causing accidents.
3	Pliers	A bladed weapon devised for battling smaller insects.	Discovered in a case full of other nefarious objects, likely a torture kit to pry insects for information.	Insects, as we know, are much smarter than humans, and thus were easily able to outmanuever these rudimentary weapons.
4	Arcade Stick	A controller used for handling spacecraft.	Found under a large venue with chairs and monitors, likely a space station. A ghastly stench of human sweat permeated the air around the location.	Humans went to greath lengths in order to launch hunks of metal into space for reasons unclear. Experts speculate they did so to show off their status and wealth.
5	Pacifier	Human adults used this item to enhance sexual pleasure by introducing it in their orifices.	Found on a human infant's mouth. Truly, there was no limit to human degeneracy.	The existence of this item confirms that humans were openly degenerates, much moreso than our species, which value integrity and public opinion.
6	Paper Clip	A discrete assassination weapon that could be attached to clothing and hidden from sight, then twisted into a tiny spear.	Discovered in the wreckage of a human office. This illustrates how cut-throat human jobs really were.	Handle with care, as this item breaks very easily. Humans were not great at making quality products.
7	Clay Filter	A futuristic, cylindric house model.	Discovered alongside other cylindrical glass objects. These were likely placeholder house models.	This model's architect was so ahead of their time, that humans shunned them and stuck to building inferiorly-shaped rectangular houses until the end of their times.
8	Queue-Tip	A culinary tool, used for gathering small food portions and carrying them into the humans' mouths.	Found in a pack alongside many other identical tools. This is likely due to them becoming obsolete very easily, as a result of a phenomenon called "Planned Obsolescence".	Humans were hopelessly outmatched by other species which lived alongside them, like the ones they called "Anteaters". This was how they tried, and failed, to compensate.
9	Fake Flakes	This is food devised to please the palate of fishes. In order to maintain peaceful relations with their superior species, humans would appease their bellies.	Found inside a cupboard. In case fishes would threaten human life, this was an important emergency item used to de-escalate conflict.	Fishes are known to control the oceans, and could easily wipe out humans by summoning a group attack known as "Tsunami" if they so pleased. Humans feared a fishy apocalypse, but ultimately ended themselves first.
10	Recorder	Recreational device used by humans to surpass the limitations of their bodies and smoke the largest amount of rolled herbs simultaneously possible.	Unearthed inside a building named "School", likely a place where humans congregated in order to do drugs.	Out of the many human degeneracies, getting inebriated with herbs was one of the most foul routinely practiced by the species. In a shocking discovery, researchers found that even the newborn were obligated to participate in such rituals.
11	Telescope	This was an instrument used for playing a bloody sport humans called "Baseball".	Found inside a large, globe-shaped hut. This was the place in which "Baseball" games took place.	In "Baseball", humans attempted to knock each other out using this instrument. The last player standing would yell "Home Run!" and be deemed victorious, attaining endless glory and wealth.
12	Potato Chip	A piece of salty and wavy memorabilia. Likely used as decoration, to remind humans of the ocean.	Found inside a long can, likely a gift receptacle previously filled with packing peanuts.	Breaks off very easily. Its fragility is likely intentional, as a representation of humans' short and pathetic lifespans.
13	Remote	One of the humans' most technologically advanced items. This was used to open interdimensional portals and travel through space and time.	Found buried deep beneath a couch. Goes to show that no matter how important an item was, it would somehow always carelessly slip away from their gross, greasy little hands.	This was modern humans' main mode of transportation. The engravings on its interface have been translated by our team, and represent primitive coordinates.
14	Mike Johnson's Killer	A brutal disc-like throwing weapon used for decapitating other humans.	Found in an armory which had numerous other such death discs in display. Humans loved to mass-produce and distribute deadly weapons.	If there was one thing humans loved more than destroying their planet, it was killing each other. If there was no reason to, they'd gladly invent one.
15	Spatula	This was a disciplinary tool for reprimanding naughty human infants.	Found inside a rectangular container, alongside other disciplinary tools of similar use. The naughtier the infant acted, the deadlier the tool used.	A spanking from this object would likely lacerate the infants' fragile skins, scarring them permanently. Humans were truly the worst.
16	Super Killerman 2000 Deluxe 3	A romance movie, able to be reproduced on a movie-playing console.	Unearthed amidst the rubble of a teenage human's room. Teenagers loved movies, and often pretended to control their outcome using plastic interfaces.	Movies were moving pictures which represented a narrative, in which humans overcame adversity and inevitably triumphed in the end. This, of course, was pure fantasy and never actually happened in human history as we know it.
17	Best Poster	An ad for a play, which featured a colorful cast of characters, including different species which co-existed with humans, like ogres, donkeys and dragons.	This poster was found amidst other ads for plays by a human named "Britney Speare", presumably an expert in human-on-ogre romance fantasy.	It is unclear how humans managed to cast these different species in the play, considering they were much more powerful and ruled over their puny race. It was likely an act of mercy.
18	Shoe	A recipient for collecting human feces.	Fished from the sea. This is where humans were known to dump their droppings in, which explained their terrible race-relations with fish.	This feces-shaped pouch was also used in house parties to prank other humans who would accidentally step on them, and dirty their feet.
19	Blender	A hard hat to protect humans against hazardous objects which might fall from above onto their heads.	Found in the rubble of a destroyed house, next to a human fossil. It seems this hat was not strong enough to defend the human's head from their collapsing house.	Humans tried hard to protect themselves from physical damage, but failed to recognize that microscopical creatures were far more dangerous to their fragile immune systems. Truly an astounding species.
20	Banana Peel	A soft hat to protect humans from the rain.	Found in a trash can. Apparently, this model did not work properly and was tossed, though it is suspected that it was merely due to the incompetency of its human user.	An early humanologist theorized that these were home defense traps designed to make other humans slip and fall, potentially cracking their skulls, but this theory was quickly disproven.
21	Bike Seat	An object humans would chew in order to strenghten their jaw and teeth.	Found attached to a strange object with wheels. No one in the whole world has any idea what that object could possibly be.	This particular one has many bite marks, with the imprints of teeth much larger than humans usually had. This illustrates how effective this jaw-training object was at its job.
22	Speaker	A tray table recipient with two bowls for human meals.	Discovered in an armory full of guitars. This, alongside the resilience of the object, strenghtens the theory that this was mainly used during battles to serve food for soldiers.	The left bowl was typically reserved for a nutritious meal, and the right bowl was reserved for what humans called "Dessert", which actively helped in the decay of their teeth and heart. It was truly a foolish ritual.
23	Imps Keychain	A custom earplug to help humans to sleep comfortably.	Found attached to house keys. When human cars sounded their very loud alarms, these earplugs would help reduce the ear damage caused by the noise.	Humans with two ears would necessitate two of these items in order to fully protect themselves.
24	Flip Flop	A glove used for protecting human hands from touching scorching surfaces.	Found by the door of a human home. Humans would use these gloves to check if the doorknob was hot before using it, in order to avoid burning their frail hands.	The design of these gloves is such that they may also be worn on human feet, if they prefer to interact with objects using their lower appendages.
25	Iron	A highly advanced spaceship wingless insects used to get around.	Found on a landing runway in a human home. Insects would seemingly travel to and from human homes without them even noticing.	It is unknown how these machines operated, but they are most definitely a highly technological marvel of insect technology which we may never truly be able to fathom.
26	Rubber Chicken	A sculpture of an animal which humans worshipped religiously.	Found above a door. Humans believed this placement of the object would bring them good luck.	This sculpture was believed to be able to communicate with its worshipper, if their faith was strong enough. This has obviously been debunked, as sculptures cannot emit sound.
27	GameToy	An interface used for summoning and interacting with demons.	Encountered under the pillow of a human infant's bed. Demonically possessed children were a common occurrence within the species.	Game Toys could be combined with different catridges, each holding their own demonic spirit, ready to be released in the comfort of one's own home.
28	Guitar	A weapon that made an extremely loud sound when bashed against another human's head, paralyzing them.	Found in an armory. Humans manufactured many different such weapons with different decals and designs, illustrating their unhealthy obsession with weaponry.	A team of talented humanologists have discovered that, by strumming the strings of the guitars, they could produced a sound that was actually rather pleasant. If only humans had figured this one out.
29	Kugo Action Figure	A figure of a war hero which humans worshipped.	This small statue was found among other representations of war heroes, especially young female ones. Humans highly valued their warmongering elite.	The arms on this particular statue can move around and make a pose, clasping both hands. This power pose was used to rally platoons into the battlefield.
30	Canned Pickles	A can which at one point contained "Pickles", a staple food in the human diet.	Discovered inside a totaled truck containing multiple copies of itself, likely to be distributed to art swindlers worldwide.	This is a cheap knockoff of Dankbells Soup. After the perfect consumable item was invented, humans rushed to try and imitate it, failing miserably. A simpleton would not be able to notice the difference between both art pieces, however.
31	Lesgo	A home security device which operated as a land trap. Stepping on one of these would cause human trespassers unimaginable pain.	Found inside a box containing other similar traps of different shapes and sizes. Such dangerous boxes were commonly sold as consumer goods.	These traps could tether to themselves, forming whichever shape the trapper desired. This was one of humans' most technological and effective inventions.
32	Marge Rina	A picture of an uninteresting person drawn by a human infant.	Found in the wreckage of a large building riddled with other childish doodles. This was likely a daycare.	Humans highly valued childish illustrations due to their abnormal attachment to their own offspring. Their babies were taken care of full-time by their parents until they reached maturity, at 30 years old.
33	Nobel Prize	A device meant to mind control living beings. Through engraving the victim's name on the plaque, humans could completely hypnotize others of their own species.	Salvaged from an area named "Ollywood", presumed to be a massive mind control research complex.	Humans valued controlling others very highly, as they did not believe in peaceful resolutions or diplomatic reasoning.
34	Pen	This pointy item is a paintbrush, used to ink reminders humans' skin. These were called "Tattoos".	This was found inside a cup with similar brushes. "Tattoos" were popular in office spaces, as humans would use their own bodies as schedules or white boards.	Humans were notorious for their lack of long-term and short-term memory. They would constantly forget even the most important of dates, such as their international holiday of "Watermelon Seed Day".
35	Battery	These small items were used as a substitute for mothers who neglected nurturing their babies. They provided important nutrients as they were nibbled on.	Found inside a large lot full of radiated air and acid. This was obviously a nursery home.	This is one of the few human items which can still benefit our species. Our infants love to nibble on these things, and grow strong!
36	Ping Pong Paddle	These round objects were used to protect the human eye from the Sun. Also comes with a convenient grip to make holding it easier.	While many fragmented paddles have been found, the few intact ones to be found were located near churches. This might indicate a possible religious importance.	Early on, these paddles were thought to be early human wheel concepts. Further investigation has determined, however, that humans did not invent the wheel at all, but instead stole such technology from beings of other planets.
37	Hair Dryer	This device was utilized to heat up food, as humans preferred to eat their food warm.	Discovered inside a human bathroom. This makes us believe that humans would regularly eat their meals while evacuating. Disgusting.	Humans would regularly host religious rituals called "Barbecues", and smoke ceremonial meats using this device.
38	Xabasco Pepper	These eyedrops were used to lubricate human eyes, which were incredibly dry and sensitive.	Found in the remains of a human "Restaurant". We are unsure of the purpose of this establishment, but experts speculate it was a place of religious importance.	Xabasco was needed in order to heal eye damage caused by staring into the sun. Humans believed this act would gift them with superpowers.
39	Saw	This item's use is one of the most highly debated questions in the field of humanology, but our best theory is that it was used to cut stuff. Most likely, other humans. Despicable.	This was found in a torture chamber with other tools for smacking and cutting. So many torture chambers were discovered around the globe, we can only assume humans had a sick fetish for pain.	Our species has reapropriated these kinds of deadly items for everyday use. For example, we use this tool to cut wood and build homes - if only humans knew how to properly use the things they themselves created.
40	War Hat	A hat designed for players of the bloody sport "Baseball". The emblem on it varies according to the player's ranking.	Collected from a fallen war-loving human's collection. "Baseball" seemed to be very popular among war fans.	Despite its bloody and violent nature, baseball players preferred to look their best with this high-fashion hat when practising it, as opposed to wearing real head protection gear.
41	Matrioshka Dolls	A multi-layered protective case, used to hold things of great value to humans, most often their favourite pet, the egg.	Discovered in a nearly perfect state, being preserved inside a fridge. Sadly, no egg was found inside.	Even with no lock system present, the idea behind its design is that the perpetrator would get bored and give up trying to open it before reaching its final layer - thus keeping their egg intact.
42	Umbrella	An offensive and defensive weapon, mimicking the design of a lance and a shield at the same time when open.	These items have been found scattered all around the globe. Humans were a warmongering species that glorified combat, participating in it for sport during their daily routines.	Considered by many the peak of close-ranged human combat, most houses had at least one, if not many. The small sized variants indicate human infants were trained to master it from an early age.
43	MP3 Player	Humans inserted this toy into their mouths to gather bodily warmth data, for entertainment purposes. It was briefly popular as a fad, then faded out.	Found in a collapsed home. A strange sound was emanating from it at the time of its discovery, but no one has ever heard it since. Humanologists concluded that this item was merely temporarily possessed by a demonic entity.	Humans would occasionaly insert this item into their ears by mistake, causing irreversible hearing loss.
44	Brut Vodka	Cleaning product, varied uses, from cleaning the house to anti-bacterial cleaning for cuts and bruises.	Found inside an old ragged coat lost in a blizzard, with no traces of the owner left behind.	Most bottles found are usually empty, showing humans still had a sense of obligation to clean the earth before going extinct.
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