Writer's Style Practice (Responses)

	B	D	E	F	G	H
1	Section	First Name	Which Writer's Style are you discussing?	Copy and Paste one of your Writer's Style paragrahs	Grade	How many words is your paragraph?

2	Section 2	Yasir	Imagery	The author of my book does a good job of showing imagery. The author is great at creating the mood. The author does a good job of creating tension between troy and his mom. One example is on page 195 and it says “I’m your mother I can end this whole thing, send you to military school, and tell them no sports because you need to focus on your studies”. Another example is on page 196 and it says “Troy started to protest, but she was moving too fast with her jaw set and her eyes squinted”. The author uses this kind of imagery because it is a realistic fiction and he makes the story better by troy and his mom being mad at each other because of Troy’s dad.	B	130
3	Section 2	Andrew	Imagery	I noticed that this book has a lot of good imagery that is written in a way that makes it easy to understand. One example is when Brian gives Darcy a rose and says “Twirling the stem in her fingers, Darcy felt a thorn prick her thumb. “Ouch” she cried, as a tiny bead of blood appeared where the thorn had stabbed her.” Another is when Darcy thinks about her grandmother.”Darcy closed her eyes briefly, and distant memories flooded her mind. In flashes, she could see Grandma playing with her as a small child, helping with homework, and latter supporting Mom when Dad ran out on the family.” This helped me understand the book much better by allowing me to put myself into the story.	C+ B-	128
4	Section 2	Abril	Imagery	“The Metisse Solitude was born in Slavery on 1772 on the French Island of Guadeloupe. When time came, they yielded up with their souls.” The writer used this in the story because he was trying to give a sense of what Solitude would have to deal with while growing up in her society. Slavery was going on so he tried to make us see she didn't have much to grow into while slavery is going on while she was just recently born. At a very young age back in the 1700’s not a lot of African Americans had their Rights nor their Freedom so at this point he wants to get out that life is hard but you just have to hope something goes good. This gives a sense of Pain, Depression, It also makes you take a second to look and recognize what they had to deal with. If you take a close look it makes you create an image in your head about what's going on. An example is when Rosalie dies it affects solitude a lot.	B-	179
5	Section 2	Keera	Imagery	The author of “Dragon’s Keep” Janet Lee Carey uses imagery. She uses imagery to catch the reader’s attention with the emotions of the characters. Most of the characters feelings in this book are very dramatic. All the feelings pile up one after the other. For example this is a feeling of sadness. “I felt aching in my throat as I looked on. Ah, how that shadow troubled me, the poor pip dead now in the stirring water.” (144) Janet Lee Carey also uses imagery to exaggerate parts of the story to make it a little more dramatic. “Mother bolted the door and made me stand next to the spider.” Janet Lee Carey also uses detailed images to make the reader’s feelings toward the book stronger. “Blood was screaming in my ears as Demetra held the spider by its leg.” The reason why this was so dramatic was because Rosalind was frightened by spiders. Janet Lee Carey uses some of the five senses to make the reader feel like they can actually hear, see, feel, or smell what the book is describing. This is the sense of smell. “I closed my eyes and smelled the odor of ground bone and, stranger still, a scent of rusted metal.” (7)	A	208
6	Section 2	DeAndre	Word Choice	What's the matter? You afraid of getting caught in the dragons graveyard? I feel like pinchin' pies off ol' lady Johnson Bone's windowsill! We shouldn't be here,it's disrespectful.All that stuff about sacred burial is hooey! The dragons have bigger things to worry about than us trespassing in the woods!But the penalty for trespassing here is death!Don't think about that!Think about all the nice stuff you're gonna eat once we get to atheia.Roast beef,mashed potatoes...And a soft bed... with clean sheets...Okay.But when the danger's over,can we go home to Boneville?	This is not even close to correct.	89 words
7	Section 2	Anderson	Imagery	Tom Sniegoski uses lots of imagery in Bone. The imagery in the book makes the adventure interesting because it’s in his point of view is what he see. The Author gives a huge perspective about his surroundings. When the adventure progresses the authors tells you what he see like when he went to the rat kingdom. THE DAY WAS DARK AND GLOOMY IT FEELS SAD AND LONELY WHEN I WENT TO THE RAT KING DOM ALL I SAW IS INFECTED RATS ALMOST LOOKING LIKE THEY ARE BECOMING EXTINCT. The Character point of view shows that he will help these people live on for decades. When Riley enters the crystal catacombs he sees shiny crystal pointy enough to kill person instantly. So I Said to myself now I know that he has to be careful or he would get killed. As the story progresses you can tell he had a long journey through these caves and want to head back to the rat kingdom so he can cure the disease that spread and almost whipped out the rat population by 50%. When he gets back and gives the cure what he see that the sky is clearing out rainbows and sun.	Don't use caps. Use quotes. Just stick to one topic: Imagery.	202
8	Section 2	dj	Imagery	The writer uses imagery such as using images to show intentions for example “Kate’s intention was to heal Jazz’s wound but when she healed it he got healed and Kate got whatever the white figures gave him.” Sometimes the right image creates a mood we want such as when the white figures started to become solid they went through everybody and was like a plague and the griffin just eats them up and blows steam out of his beaks nose holes. The griffin is the only thing to get rid of them. The team has to leave because the cops are outside so when they leave the white figures get loose and reek habit throughout the city.	B- You need more examples.	117
9	Section 2	Zyajia	Choice of Narrator	Karyn Langhorne Folan uses a third person limited point of view. I can tell because she only listens to Jamee thoughts but tells everything that is happening. It’s like she is over top of them seeing everything they do. All the characters are described using pronouns such as “they, he, and she.” One way I know it is third person because it says “I failed, remember? What are you asking me for? She wanted to say. Instead she shook her head.”(Page 2) Another example is “She’s only a junior, Jamee wanted to scream each time the subject came up.” (Page 41) One last example is “So, Aunt Charlotte said, eyeing Jamee from her seat at the head of her wooden table. What’s new with you?” (Page 46) These examples show that only one though is listened to. It’s like a video camera recording the situation. I think with the author using third person limited point of view it’s really captures the reader into the story. It gives it every little detail and makes it exciting to read.	A-	177
10	Section 2	JaVon	Imagery	Paul Langan use imagery in his story to give the readers a thought of how the story will end up ending. After every chapter, the reader will make a hypothesis of what will happen next. Every time you read the story you literally can picture every action in the story as if you were there to witness everything happen “The Fallen” gives you a clear visual idea of what is going on at every scene in the story. When I read the story I could imagine Frankie beating Martin (page 14). I could imagine when Frankie was about to fight Steve (page 45). So imagery is a very big part in John Langan’s story. The imagery of “The Fallen” is very similar to the imagery to “Esperanza Rising”, when her father would work in the vineyard; you could imagine him doing picking crops. When Esperanza tried to connect with the earth by putting her head on the dirt to see if she would hear father and then the tears began to come down her face like worms, the readers could imagine that. Just like how in “The Fallen”, the readers could imagine Martin swinging the baseball bat into Frankie’s arm (page 124).	B+ Give us the example of what it looked like for him to be beaten. Again, give the specific examples. Nice job, though!	202
11	Section 2	Blanca	Imagery	North of Nowhere by Liz Kessler Liz Kessler’s use of imagery made the book something that I feel like any kid my age would love to read, because when you read it the story feels so realistic you feel like a character in the story, a character that has feelings and emotions. When you read the imagery that is in the story it shows what the characters are feeling for example “The sea had been as calm as a pond a second ago. Suddenly, it was a raging torrent of mountainous waves”. Another example “The sky had blackened and rain was now lashing down so hard it was almost impossible to see. The window was streaked with rain and was beginning to steam up. “What’s happening?” Sal screamed over the sound of the rain and waves”. (162).You can almost hear the fear this character had in her voice while reading this, she sounds scared for her life but determined to find her brother and save him.	B+ A- Nice job!	166
12	Section 2	Alexis	Word Choice	In Mocking Jay, the Author uses strong verbs that tell how actions are performed. One example from the text is, “I jerk my arm free.”(pg. 117) This shows Katniss forcefully removing her arm from one another’s grasp. Another example from the text is “I grab my tray, cross to the deposit area, and slam the dishes onto the rack,” (pg. 117) this shows how one performed an action showing her feelings toward something. The final example from the text is “Peeta looks down at me, gone, mad, flashing back into the land of the hijacked, his gun raised over me, descending to crush my skull.”(pg. 279) This shows an action with Peeta ready to murder Katniss in the middle of the street. It shows the feelings he now feel towards her after being “High jacked”. The word choice the that the Author uses puts this story together because it shows specific actions and feelings in different characters that creates a mood. It makes the story interesting.	B+ A- Nice job!	166
13	Section 2	Michael	Word Choice	The author of this book Johan Harstad uses words that have a big vocabulary , here are some of the words , psychopathic on page 255 talking about what someone wanted to do and they could not , and breathlessly which means easy fast on page 251. Personally I believe that this book is meant for people who want to get challenged with words they usually would not see. The author also does this because when you get older you may have a job and you can’t sound like you never went to school ,so he adds these words in benefit of you and it’s your choice if you skip it or not.	C- You at least need to follow the form on the sheet. Be sure to double check your grammar.	113
14	Section 2	Rayniesha	realistic dialogue	L.DIVIN use of realistic dialogue made is about the DRAMA that is going on in this story. First Jayda and her boyfriend Raymond, Nellie, sandy, and also Jayda ex white boyfriend Jeremy are all friend girlfriends and boyfriends but there fighting and arguing like they can’t along like there seriously HATE one another. Then there in talking club talking about how long is there relationship going to keep going on and how is it going to END because Raymond don’t wont Jayda to talk to any boys cause he might be afraid that boys might like her and try to take her from him ad other things might happen he don’t even know……Next Sandy and her boyfriend Jeremy are arguing because he did not want her to come to his house because he had another girl with him that’s supposed to be Sandy’s friend I guess and they didn’t talk for a whole week. The story goes on now so Nellie as the good girl come up to them and says STOP because they are arguing and they are still going. That’s what the writer as L.DIVIN wants to see in this book but it seems like the DRAMA WILL NEVER END!!!!	C- Could you add some quotes from the story? Jayla said, "I hate you!" (65)	200
15	Section 2	Olivia	Imagery	Writing Style 1: Anne Schraff used imagery to make this book a pleasure to read. She used it so people can visualize the image better. One example is on the page number 89, it says at the car, Bobby yanked open the door on the passenger’s side and pushed Cindy. “Get in,” he said impatiently. She could see his pulse throbbing in his neck as he spoke. It helps convey the theme of the story because it tells you how rude and how bad of a person Bobby is being to Cindy. My second example is on the page number 54, it says When Cindy reached the football field; the team was in a huddle. She searched to find Bobby but did not see him right away. Then, when she saw the name Wallace on the back of the jersey, her heart started pounding. It helps convey the theme of the story because it shows you in the book how much Cindy likes Bobby. My last example is on the page number 41-42 it says Cindy instantly recognized her mother’s fancy handwriting. It read: Cindy, Raffi won a free trip for the two to Vegas and he just sprung it on me today. We had to leave right away. I’ll be home Sunday morning. Plenty of TV dinners in the fridge. Baby, I think my man is gonna pop the question! Wish me luck! Love and Kisses, Mom. Cindy stared at the note, disbelief and rage building within her. “No she yelled out loud, yanking the paper off the refrigerator. It helps convey the theme of the story because it shows you in the book how sad Cindy felt and or what she felt going through a rough time with her mom leaving for 2 days. The imagery of the book helps me visualize what is going on in the book.It also makes the book more interesting.	B+ We should sit down and proofread this together.	318
16	Section 2	Chris	Imagery	WRITIER’S STYLE: IMAGERY: I imagine myself in this situation, because this is something every teenager goes through, at some point in time and he/she has to make the right choice, not rather everybody else think what’s the right choice, but only do you think it’s the right choice, so I can imagine myself in this situation because I went through something similar situation, so this is why I picked out this book	Um... please look at the examples above. There is a form you can follow.	50
17	Section 2	Te'Shon	Imagery	In “Pretty Ugly” a book written by Karyn Langhorne Folan, this author uses good Imagery. She makes it easy for you to understand. One example is when Vanessa talks bad about Angel right in her face. Everyone starts to laugh at Angel, so she runs off and cry and then Jamee chases after her. Angel says “those girls talk bad about me; I didn’t even do anything to deserve all them bad comments. I don’t belong here. Maybe I should just quit.” A second example is when all the girls are changing in the locker rooms for cheerleading tryouts again and Vanessa and Kym are messing with Angel. “Give me back my shirt.” Angel says. “Got to jump high monkey, got to jump high.” Jamee goes over and helps Angel. “You guys have nothing else better to do with your life, except pick on people smaller than you, leave her alone!” A third example is when Couch Seville founds out that some girls took a picture of Angel and Jamee, while changing in the locker rooms. “Whoever did this you should be ashamed of yourself, I’m giving you 15 minutes to admit it and if you don’t then I am canceling the whole Cheerleading squad!” “NOOO!” “WHAT?!” “YOU CANT DO THAT” Girls yell from the belchers	B Good examples. Your paragraph just sort of stops. Wrap up the idea you were trying to prove. :) Add page numbers.	216
18	Section 2	JaVon	Imagery	Paul Langan use’s imagery in his story to give the readers a thought of how the story will end up ending. After every chapter, the reader will make a hypothesis of what will happen next. Every time you read the story you literally can picture every action in the story as if you were there to witness everything happen “The Fallen” gives you a clear visual idea of what is going on at every scene in the story. When I read the story I could imagine Frankie beating Martin, Martin described the punches like sledge hammers hitting his head, and the readers could imagine that (page 14). I could imagine when Frankie was about to fight Steve, Martin said the look of Steve and his crew faces made them seem like they were trembling in fear when Frankie confronted them, it sounded as if I was there when this was happening (page 45). So imagery is a very big part in John Langan’s story. The imagery of “The Fallen” is very similar to the imagery to “Esperanza Rising”, when her father would work in the vineyard; you could imagine him doing picking crops. When Esperanza tried to connect with the earth by putting her head on the dirt to see if she would hear her father speak to her and then the tears began to come down her face like worms, the readers could imagine that. Just like how in “The Fallen”, the readers could imagine Martin swinging the baseball bat into Frankie’s arm (page 124).	B+ A-	254
19	Section 2	Jewel	Imagery	Patrick Carman uses lots of imagery in the reflecting pool to make us feel like we are in the story he just put imagery right into your head. For example (when Jackie looks in the mirror she could see the reflection of a thief) the reader can picture Jackie looking in a mirror looking at herself and seeing the change in her. (65). another example (When mike and mat parents leave for the night the fun begins) so the reader can see that the parents have left for the night the kids are having fun with no worries. (82).In my last example is (when these to kids are on vacation with their parents in they hear things at night) the reader can picture there self being somewhere for the first time in they hear things at night and don’t know what it. (107). It’s like every sentence you read you picture being there. My writer or some would say author has a writing style that I have never seen before. The way he connects with the readers are amazing and he’s one of a kind his story are amazing he has enthusiasm. When he’s writing the story it’s just attractive and addictive and also gets your attention. He give so much detail that you can be on the first two pages of the book and it’s like BAM!! You kind of have an imaging or prediction of what’s going to happen next but you’re not sure so that makes you want to keep reading in till you find out the conclusion. He just makes you want to read for a lifetime. His book is a new experience to some people because like I said he’s one off a kind and the books last you a good amount of time with all the individual stories in it.	B You have good examples. They need to be punctuated correctly. You are convincing!	306
20	Section 1	Roman	Choice of Narrator	The Son of Neptune is told from the third-person and limited point of view. The point of view, however, switches between the three main characters of the book and always rotates in the same order. Percy, Hazel and then Frank. Each character's story is told in equal numbers of chapters. Each time the narrator changes to a different character the reader is aware of everything that character thinks, feels and experiences.This is told in a third person It allows suspense to build, and It allows the reader to understand the goals, motivations, and conflicts for each character. The result has a positive relationship with each main character. Which is great because the two camps never get along.	B Use more examples of how we see things from the different points of view. Maybe show us the same incident from the different views.	117
21	Section 1	Xiangyin	Choice of Narrator	Suzanne Collins chooses the first person point of view and added a lot of thoughts that going on in narrator’s head. This made you feel you were the narrator. And can clearer to sew the growth and difficulty narrator being through. One of the examples that best take the advantage of this is in page 168 when narrator seeking for waters “something is wrong. Am I deluded about having sponsors? Or has Peeta’s behavior made the mall hang back? No, I don’t believe it. There’s someone out there who wants to buy me water only Haymitch is refusing to let it go through. As my mentor, he gets to control the flow of gifts from sponsors. I know he hate me. He’s made that clear enough. But enough to let me die? From this? He can’t do that, can he…” by using the first point of view you can see the change of ideas in narrator’s head. Before, she just wants to survive and get back to home. Later in the story her goals changed she want to prove that she and players was not just a pawn in government’s hand. So the choice of narrator helped to express the theme of everyone can changed the world and stand a chance to against the world.	B+ I'm just not feeling the A. Maybe it is just one quote, but you do explain why it matters.	215
22	Section 1	Wade	Symbolism	Symbolism was used in many of the chapters in Life of Pi. In the end of the book, the interviewers did not believe a single word of the story. Instead, Pi made the animals on the life boat if they were human (page 303 to 310). The dying Taiwanese sailor was the zebra, the hyena was the mad cook, the tiger was Pi, and the orangutan was the Pi's mother. "And the hyena bit off the zebra's leg just as the cook cut off the sailor's" noticed interviewer Mr. Okamoto. The human side of the story told to the reporters had the same actions as the animal version, but with different characters. Another example would be Richard Parker, the adult Bengal tiger. He is quite similar to God because Pi does not know whether if he is on his side. God can be a powerful ally, but also a devastating enemy that cannot be stopped. This can be easily inferred because Pi is a heavily religious boy and it is not surprising for the author to give the tiger godlike personalities. In the end, Richard Parker left the boat without a trace of a farewell, which is a godly thing to do because some say that God is only here on Earth for a short period time.	Um... spoiler alert? Are the animals symbolic or just like the Wizard of Oz? I guess I was confused about the organization, but I like what you are going for.	213
23	Section 1	Stephen	Imagery	Yvonne Collin and Sandy Rideout, the authors of The Black Sheep used a descriptive sense of imagery that helps explain the scenes and the reactions of the characters in the story. For example: “I've watched otter feeding many times on the monitors.” Lisa would have me believe it’s a mysterious, complicated ritual, but there doesn't appear to be much skill involved. Any ten-year-old could do it” (Pg. 99). Through this excerpt, the reader can conclude that Kendra is willful and tries hard to get what she wants. Another example for descriptive writing in Collins/Rideout’s writing is: “A Black Sheep doesn’t give up so easily. I try charm, reason, and mild threats, all to no avail. There’s only one card to play, and I play it shamelessly…” (Pg. 191). This piece of dialogue from Kendra shows the reader how hard she is trying in to convince the executives of the golf course, who are damaging the otter’s habitat that she is trying to protect. Another example is: “The Wigs rear back in alarm, uttering man-squeals.” (Pg. 195). This description describes the character of the executives and how easily frightened they are which could come to be Kendra’s advantage in the future.	B- I am not sure you understand what imagery is. It is the five senses. Yes, these lines help you understand, but I would not say there is a lot of imagery in them.	198
24	Section 1	Igor	Imagery	One thing I like about the author’s style is that it gives such a clear and amazing image of what Lina thinks about Darkness. The imagery is clear and the colors float around in your mind. Some examples are the clothing. Like a murky blue shirt or mossy green pants with stains. It adds an effect to the amount of mood it Ember and how you imagine the people and their appearance in this dark city. This creates a very clear and vivid image in my mind making the book way more interesting giving this story about Ember mystical feeling. Having a clear image in your mind it makes reading this book more interesting. It has very little repetition which makes it have more and more new things.	You need more examples. I like how you explain that the imagery creates a mood. Convince me more.	128
25	Section 1	Sophia	Choice of Narrator	Applying Thomas as a third-person-limited narrator develops audacity inside much of the mood. As well as offering a confident and crafty solution, memories bestowed by his mind develops realization of what WICKED is against and personal solutions that disturbs the heart. “…he wished Minho would give Brenda a break.” (pg 100) declares Tom’s adulation for Brenda, also using her as a comparison towards another female rival, Teresa. This advances the story and enhances the final scene, flourishing dramatic irony of Teresa’s nearsightedness of her ‘best friend’, thus causing controversy for the protagonist’s love. “What could it possibly say?” and “…how would he ever know when the right time to open it had come?” (both pg 105) conceives an unsettling thought as well as evolving suspicion to an upcoming tragedy. Additionally, this displays internal conflict. A third-person-limited narration is significant because it gives a definitive viewpoint from the prime character, furthermore not amplifying every sense that is propelled through the story; using “he” or “she” is quite concise and moderate for the prodigiousness of the activities.	B What does this mean, "develops audacity inside much of the mood"? I sort of see where you are going with this, but the paragraph is unclear.	175
26	Section 1	Samantha	Imagery	Smell, see, hear, feel and taste are the five senses. Nicholas sparks does a great job interpreting these into his writing. Whenever he describes something it makes me feel like I am a part of the story. For instance when Noah and Allie were eating crabs for dinner. He was describing how perfectly cooked they were and that just the right amount of butter was on it. It made me feel like I was at the table eating dinner with them. Another example is when they were canoeing and he saw the frogs jumping out of the water. “They’re so gracefully eating the fish.” He said to Allie. When he said that I closed my eyes and I could perfectly picture it. The way they would jump in and out, even when the large on made a giant splash. The last example is when Noah’s dog farted. “What died inside of him?” Allie asked. The way he described the smell wasn’t like you usually do. He didn’t just say “it smells bad.” The author really made you connect to how bad it smelled. That’s why I loved the way he used the five senses.	B+ Add the page numbers. The idea that you see it clearer is obvious. How does his imagery help convey the theme? I assume he is better than others you have read? Why is he so descriptive?	194
27	Section 1	Preeti	Imagery	Golding's word choice is simple yet evocative, meant to appeal to readers’ senses and exhibit perspicuous imagery. Golding utilizes an array of vivid verbs and adjectives to implant memorable images in readers' minds. "The sand, trembling beneath the heat haze, concealed many figures in its miles of length. " (Page 17) In this sentence, the word, haze, helps readers understand that the heat is thickly surrounding the boys, and the deserted island is a scorching terrain. The author also uses a multitude of literary devices in his writing, predominantly personification. "The sand, trembling beneath..." is an example of personification. Here, the sand is personified as a living entity that trembles under the thick and stifling heat. Both evocative vocabulary and personification, cleanly contribute to the mood of uncertainty that Golding aims to create. "The great rock loitered, poised on one toe, decided not to return, moved through the air, fell, struck, turned over, leapt droning through the air and smashed a deep hole in the canopy of the forest." (Page 26) This is another exquisite example of personification, in which the rock is personified as a human, tumbling and hurling through the jungle atmosphere. Here, the imagery of the bushy, green canopy that blankets the underlying woodlands, adds to a reader's image of a heavy boulder penetrating the thick layer of vegetation. To conclude, imagery is used in Lord of the Flies to communicate the theme and reach reader’s senses.	B You are mashing two things together here: word choice and personification. Stick to just word choice here. Do personification in a figurative language paragraph. This will look good when you are done.	240
28	Section 1	Abigail	Imagery	Jackie French Koller uses imagery to make this whole book tie into itself. If she hadn't described Celie's "braids of fiery hair",I wouldn't have known what Jake was saying when he said that her dress matched her hair. She also never just blankly say things. She snakes them into sentences so she can get the reader to read more carefully. That makes the book even more special because you never know when she will throw something in.	C-I like what you have so far. You demonstrate that you know how to do this, but you need to say much more.	78
29	Section 1	Abbie	Imagery	John Grisham the author, not only uses imagery to make the book enjoyable to read, but makes it clear. The imagery he uses expresses the details of the story, and helps you picture in your head what is going on. For example, “The judge was a large old man with a head full of curly white hair and a white beard and round, rosy cheeks that reminded a lot of people of Santa Claus.” This detail creates a picture in your mind of what the judge looks like, and helps you understand why he said those certain extra details. Another good use of imagery is “(enter quote here).” All of his examples of imagery help us understand what he is trying to get across. Finally the last example of his explicit and effective use of imagery is “(enter quote here.)” The imagery he uses really creates a clear picture for the reader. -I don't have my book with me so i will enter the examples a home.	This would be a B if it had the quotes in it and the page numbers. It is only a little better than the C example.	152 (+more)
30	Section 1	Ryan	Imagery	In my opinion, “The people of Sparks” is a very dry of details and imagery. I really believe that the author’s lack of imagery really spoiled the book. For example, on page 202, a character says to Lina, “But you can’t grow food in the winter. It’s really cold. And clouds come over the sun. And it rains”. This is the turning point in the book, when the two towns really start to resent each other, so shouldn’t it have more detail? To me, that just sounds like the author was just trying to get that part over with, so she didn’t put any details or feeling in it. I also feel like this book lacks imagery in the emotional “field” of it. On page 257, the people of Ember have just been told that the have to leave the city of Sparks, and the only emotions the author put in describing the Emberties awe is, “The announcement shocked the people of Ember. “ And,” That evening, they swarmed through the halls of the Pioneer Hotel in an uproar”. When I read this part, I really had no idea how the Emberties really felt, how heavy this announcement was, because there was such little detail. I just feel that this book would have been better if it had just more imagery.	A- Well said!	221
31	Section 1	Vedant	Choice of Narrator	The author, Louis Sachar takes first person narration to the extreme, He wants to make it seem like a seventeen year-old boy wrote this story instead of an award winning author. One sentence that bolstered this fact was, “A talented author would have skillfully slipped that in earlier, probably on the very first page.” (Pg. 7) This creates some sort of irony. Also, he perfectly paints the turmoil going on in a teenagers mind, “I wondered if she was lying awake thinking about me. I wondered if she was wondering whether I was wondering about her. Shut up, brain!” (Pg. 264) I think it was hard for Louis Sachar, trying to sound like he is mediocre about a subject that he excels in, namely writing. He creates characters that most readers would sympathise with. This is what Uncle Lester confides in Alton after his blindness, “... I moved here for the view. Hah! Doesn’t do me much good now, does it?” (Pg. 24) This combined with the amazing plot compelled me to share The Cardturner with everyone.	B It's not that he wants it to sound like a 17 year old wrote the story, he wants the story to be told from the perspective of a 17 year old. Oh.... maybe you are right? Maybe you need to explain how the story is told a little. The end kind of trails off. I like where this is going.	176
32	Section 1	Jake	Imagery	Rick Riordan uses imagery in his book very well. In this book there are lots of monsters and the imagery used to describe them is very excellent, it gives you a perfect image of how scary and detailed they are. One example is “...a thirty foot tall giant with bright blue skin and icy gray hair.”(215) Another example is “His face was wolfish. His body was vaguely like a seal’s, sleek black with flipper hands and feet. His eyes glowed radiation green.”(177-178) My last example is “Her wings were pink like a flamingo’s, which matched her skin beautifully, but it was hard to think of her as cute when her hooves slammed into the ground…”(248) The imagery in the book makes it not only more fun to read but you get a better feeling of how Percy feels, what he is going through and what he has to face in his life.	B A book full of monsters will be scarier if they are fully described. I assume the monsters help convey a theme. Therefore, the better we can imagine the monsters, the easier we can arrive at the theme.	152
33	Section 1	Ian	Symbolism	Nathaniel Hawthorne uses symbolism to express the struggle and journey of Hester Prynne, as the protagonist, using the town and surrounding forest to represent opposing behavioral systems. “We must not always talk in the market-place of what happens to us in the forest.” The marketplace, and the whole town itself, represent civilization. Since the unknown, the unsafe, the wilderness is to be feared for their lack and loss of order (Puritan beliefs), the town is a ‘Utopia’ and offers comfort and protection with the law. “But, on one side of the portal, and rooted almost at the threshold, was a wild rise-bush, covered, in this month of June, with its delicate gems, which might be imagined to offer their fragrance and fragile beauty…” (41) The author uses the idea of the nature to symbolize that with no laws, there is crime, but there is honesty and tenderness. “So speaking, she undid the clasp that fastened the scarlet letter, and, taking it from her bosom, threw it to a distance among the withered leaves.” (167) Until then, her embroidered letter and her past had burdened her heart, making it wither. The forest expresses the emotion and innate quality of human nature. With the writer’s use of symbols, strong emotions and thoughts play a role to show characters’ true nature of sin, knowledge, and their human condition.	A Where did you get that first line? That is a pretty intelligent statement. I am assuming you read the introduction and you have paraphrased what you read using some examples. Maybe you can give this a more personal touch and describe these two things from your viewpoint?	225
34	Section 1	Sydney	It is a mix of Imagery and Figurative language	The author uses a lot of figurative language in this book to really give a mental image of what is going on. Because most of what happens in this book is magical and not something the reader would already know about like how the grimoire the author has to use imagery and figurative language to tell you what these magical things look like. “She screamed and opened the Grimoire. A pure bright light shot out of the book, making the bears shrink back in fear. She held onto the Grimoire in desperation as the book grew hot. The Fae bears continued to fight against the magical traps and tried to dodge the light which poured from the book. Just like before, a powerful wind picked up, lifting them into the air and into it’s pages.”(Pages 5 and 6) This next example is a simile showing how paranoid she is of the Story: ”It was like invisible static hanging in the air—a metaphysical bomb of fairy tale madness waiting to drop on her when she least expected it.”(Page 51) The last example is personification: ”Mina held the Grimoire in her hands and could feel the book make an audible sigh.”(Page 214) Chanda Hahn uses quite a bit of personification in this book because of the Grimoire. Although it’s a book it is a magical book so it can almost take on human qualities.	B That first quote is too long. If you use a long quote, set it up BEFORE you give the quote. That way we know what to read for. But I like how you have organized the paragraph around the three examples of figurative language and why it is used. :) However, you might want to take just one term, like similes, and explain that thoroughly.	233
35	Section 1	JD	Choice of Narrator	Elie Wiesel is in 1st person point of view since it is an autobiography. This really gets across how treacherous and hard it was in these dark times within the Holocaust. Since it is in 1st person point of view it guides you through his emotions and thoughts. It is almost as if you feel you are the author’s friend. When the author is happy you feel happy when the author is angry you feel angry. For example”_______________________________.” Another example is, “________________________.” Finally, “_________________________”. This point of view really helps get you in the moment and understand what is happening and why it is happening. I believe that when you are talking about historical events like this one 1st person is your best choice and makes a huge difference.	You are correct. There is a big difference between just telling about a horrific event and living through it. We experience the horrors he went through because we are right there with him. We see what he sees and we hear his thoughts.	130 (But when I add in quotes it will go up around 170)
36	Section 1	Justin	Choice of Narrator	I noticed that Rick Riordan wrote through a first person’s point of view. Carter and Sadie Kane are brother and sister and the two main characters in this book. The author wrote from each of the character’s point of view to show the reader how Carter and Sadie each perceived the events in the story and to show their thoughts and feelings as things happened. One example is when Carter was describing where they had been. The text says, “It’s Carter again. Sorry. We had to turn off the tape for a while because we were being followed by- well, we’ll get to that later. Sadie was telling you how we left London, right?” (pg. 49). Another example is when Sadie disobeyed her teacher and went to the hall of the gods. The text says, “I wanted another look at the Age of the Gods. On our first trip through the hall, something about those images had shaken me. I knew Carter thought I’d gone into a dangerous trance, and Zia had warned me that the scenes would melt my brain.” (p. 171). A third example shows how they start talking to each other instead of narrating. The text says, “[Right, Carter. Give me the mic.]” (p 234). By using the first person’s point of view, the reader feels more involved in the story than if a third person storyteller was narrating.	B I like how you seemed like you were going to focus on how each had a different view. However, the examples did not seem to explain that difference. If you could bring out their opposing views a little better	233
37	Section 1	Claudia	Choice of Narrator	Gayle Forman creates a sympathetic tone in the Story If I Stay by her choice of narrator. Forman chose to tell this young love story through Mia’s point of view (first person). By telling this story through first person it makes you feel as though you’re experiencing Mia’s horror and confusion alongside her. One example of first person narrator benefiting the reader is the sentence “And it is the sight of her looking like some preposterous zombie that sends a hummingbird of panic ricocheting through me.” (Page 17) This sentence makes you feel compassion towards the young distressed teenager. Another sentence that expressed this was “I’m not sure this is a world I belong in anymore, I’m not sure I want to wake up.” (Page 164) Since this example is told through first person it helps you to understand that this experience was very traumatic, so traumatic Mia is willing to leave everything behind to join her family. The last example is “I’m feeling not just the physical pain, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill.” (Page 233) By telling this story from Mia’s point of view the story becomes much more powerful and brings you to the point where you feel just as distraught as Mia.	A- or A Maybe it is a tad formulaic, but it is well explained.	224
38	Section 1	Thomas	Word Choice	The fantastic, memorable word choice James Dashner uses is seldom dull, and gives a heavy yet thrilling tone to his story. “How are you showing any strength by killing me?” (pg. 279) This quote may just be a desperate plea, but it also shows how all the Gladers need is the strength to survive. In addition, the words ‘killing’, ‘kill’, ‘death’, etc. are used a lot in this book- another call to the sometimes dark mood and the survivalistic aspect that the Gladers face. “...turning the small room into a creepy, sickening prison...The pain drilled through his head, and his eyes felt as if they were boiling in lava.” (pg. 298) James Dashner explains Thomas’s pain and his new setting with the ease of a few words- “the pain drilled through his head”, “creepy, sickening prison”. (pg. 348) These phrases are very important in that scene, as they help us to out ourselves into Thomas’s position. “We’re not going to sit back and let you treat us like rats anymore.” The use of the word ‘rats’ really conveys the Gladers’ thoughts towards the Trials. To them it’s not a master plan for greater good, it’s a abusive experiment. If it weren’t for the repetition of important words, as well as the very descriptive word choice he uses, this book would not be such a gripping and exciting read.	A That is quite a topic sentence to have to explain. Let's see how you do. Lots of great examples. A little choppy in the flow of ideas, but I clearly see how the writer creates a mood through word choice.	229
39	Section 1	Vedant	Choice of Narrator	The author, Louis Sachar takes first person narration to the extreme, He wants to make it seem like a seventeen year-old boy wrote this story instead of an award winning author. One sentence that bolstered this fact was, “A talented author would have skillfully slipped that in earlier, probably on the very first page.” (Pg. 7) This creates some sort of irony. In the epilogue too, Louis Sachar adds details to highlight the fact that the narrator is seventeen. “My parents grounded me for three months, but it only lasted about three weeks.” (Pg. 313) Also, he perfectly paints the turmoil going on in a teenagers mind, “I wondered if she was lying awake thinking about me. I wondered if she was wondering whether I was wondering about her. Shut up, brain!” (Pg. 264) I think it was hard for Louis Sachar, trying to sound like he is mediocre about a subject that he excels in, namely writing. He creates characters that most readers would sympathise with as a result of seeing the story through the eyes of someone present in the book. Uncle Lester confides in Alton after his blindness, “... I moved here for the view. Hah! Doesn’t do me much good now, does it?” (Pg. 24) The stupendous choice of narration and mesmerizing plot compelled me to share The Cardturner with everyone.	A SImplify the wording of the last sentence. Looks good. :)	224
40	Section 3	Jagger	Word Choice	I love the word choice of this story because of the language. The story is mostly written in English, but they sometimes throw in various Spanish words. From that you can tell what culture or race they are. From them speaking Spanish you can tell that they are Puerto Rican or Mexican. One thing I don’t like about this though is that they do not translate it, which means some people can’t understand it. I am sure she does this because she wants us to see that the main characters family is Mexican.	C- You should have specific example in quotes and then the page numbers.	93
41	Section 3	Destiny	Choice of Narrator	In this story, Madeleine L'engle uses a third person limited point of view. I can see this because throughout the story you could only see what Meg is feeling, like her thoughts and what is happening in the story. I also know the story is written in third person because she uses words like,” he, she, them, and her.” One example of third person limited is, “Let us do the fighting when it’s necessary, they told her.” In this example its showing her brothers are talking to her. Another example of Third person limited is, “Not during a hurricane, it’s not a privilege,” she said. In this example it is showing Meg talking to herself, and how she is feeling/or thinking. One final example of Third person limited is, “She tossed the quilt down on the foot of the bed, and stood up.” In this example the third person limited shows what she is doing and thinking like putting her quilt on her bed. Madeleine L'engle uses third person limited in the story to show everyone is doing but only what Meg is thinking; I think she did this to add suspicion to the story to make it more interesting.	B- You need page numbers. This has good examples, but it is light on the effect this choice has on the story. Why do I want to know what she is thinking?	197
42	Section 3	Marcos	Imagery	The author use imagery so people can get a better picture of what she talking about. Like when Shiloh howled blood dripping blood off German shepherd teeth dog growling. Author uses imagery but when something goes wrong. Here is another one wearing this army camouflage shirt, a brown cap, and weirdest grin that could fit on a human face. 3# holding a rifle up with one hand as he plows through the weeds. The point of this that she uses it so people can understand what is going on.	C- You should have specific example in quotes and then the page numbers. You have the basic idea.	89
43	Section 3	Treazure	Imagery	Pam Munoz uses a lot of visual imagery. She uses this imagery to show you Esperanza’s emotions. As Esperanza travels the land she sees and visits tell the reader how she feels inside. One examples of imagery in the story is….”The sweet silence broken only by the swish of the dried grass”. This example shows that Esperanza feels happy. Another example is….”There was only the prickly sound of the dry grass”. This shows the Esperanza feels angry and disappointed. Another example is …..”The brown barren mountains rose higher”. To me this told me that Esperanza heart was broken. She’s sad. She misses her father. In the book the author pam Muñoz wants you to remember the story. That is another reason why she uses lots of imagery. She repeats lines, imagery, and action some imagery she repeated was…” Be patient the fruit will fall into your hand”. She repeated this because she wanted to hear the earths and papas heartbeat but couldn’t so she tried again. Most of the imagery has something to do with the earth because her father taught her to think of the earth as her caretaker. The earth ripens the food they eat. Esperanza is connected to the earth.	Um... that sounds like a version of what I wrote. :)	205
44	Section 3	Madison	Flashbacks	The author Patricia Reilly Giff uses flashbacks. These flashbacks go back to the good times that Meggie had either had with her Grandfather, old friends, or brother to nonchalantly indicate that she misses them more than she allows herself to think. On page 125 she starts to say how she misses her grandfather "how I miss him", and thinks of all the things they used to do together. I support using flashbacks; I think it is a good way to show that she misses her parted family. Using flashbacks also shows the relationship she once had with her brother and her grandfather.	C You have the basic idea, but you need to explain more and use more examples. It's too short.	102 words
45	Section 3	Hunter	Choice of Narrator	The choice of the narrator is great, because she makes you feel like you are Johnathon throughout the story, it gives you perspective of what the war was like and how they took people to fight. And how Johnathon’s behavior was appropriate for this story. Like when Johnathon tried to help a little in the story escape from the Germans. The narrator in this book does a good job telling you about the surroundings and weather and hat he feels. I feel like the narrator is the biggest part of the story, she make the story exiting. Like for example on page 51 “With growing sense of horror, Johnathon took up the gun, then stood” Another example is on page 23 “The man sucked a deep breath and marched in heavy silence”	B- I like how you focused on the choice of narrator. You were describing how the narrator engages you, the reader. You like the way the narrator tells the story. The narrator is a writer's choice. Keep describing that narrator.	133
46	Section 3	Sean	Imagery	Writer’s Style 1: In this story Harrison is living two lives. One of his lives is his old family which something bad happened and they are very mean and rude people and everything is going wrong and he doesn’t like it. His second family is a nice and sweet family were everything is going right. One example is on page 12 “You want me to do the dishes ma’am?” This means that he is very scared and he thinks he is going to get a beating and his life is on the line and he doesn’t like it.	C- I am not sure which writer's choice you are talking about. I assume you are talking about plot choices. The main character lived two lives in the story. The theme is developed from the differences in lives. You need to develop this more with examples.	100
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