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Someone who can lend me $10
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Someone with no right being this handsome
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Someone who hasn't eaten yet today
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Someone who has been bitten by a wild animal and survived
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Someone who hasn't heard of Bram Stoker before today
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Someone who can do a backflip but only if everyone is cheering
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Someone who, when pressed, won't admit to being over 40
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Someone who has definitely done pushups
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Someone who has three nipples in their possession
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Someone with three cats that are different colors
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Someone on the same anti-depressants as you
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Someone who pulls away when you touch their hand
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A person wearing a Gildan shirt
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Someone who forgot to feed their Tamogatchi
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Someone who remembers Digimon
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Someone with a strange moon shaped mole in their armpit
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Someone with a disposition for mischief
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Someone who can't find their house when drunk
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Someone who needs to sleep on your couch but just for tonight
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Someone who has a big butt but an itty bitty waist
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Someone who is androgenous but not bald
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Somebody who once told me the world is gonna roll me
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Someone addicted to their vape
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Someone who has seen the 1998 film Mystery Men
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Someone who has a Pokemon card collection
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Someone who quit buying Magic the Gathering cards because they were broke
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Someone who is stuck paying the monthly Adobe membership fee
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Someone with a gym membership who hasn't been to the gym this month
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Someone who has always been at least a little queer
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Someone whose favorite color is "All of them"
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Somebody who has a really bad haircut and this is how you're telling them
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A Shrek fan with a Shrek tattoo
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Someone who claims theyre allergic to avocado but still eats guac
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Someone who you would never expect to have a collection of Squishmallows
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Someone who definitely has toxoplasmosis
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Someone who doesn't want to be here right now
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Someone with rich parents but is dead broke
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Someone who hasn't tried red hot cheetos
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Someone who hides their League of Legends addiction
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Someone who has gotten away with murder
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Someone with bad breath
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Someone who bought the Switch 2 on release date like a loser
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Someone who will play Cribbage with me
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Someone who kisses with their eyes open
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A Papa Roach fan
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Someone with a mortgage
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Someone who brushes their teeth and then drinks coffee
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Someone who actually followed through on their D.A.R.E. pledge
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A human being who, like Garfield, doesn't like Mondays
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Someone who is actually a ghost
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Someone who checks under their bed each night
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Someone with an addiction to painkillers
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Someone who thinks playing Settlers of Catan is fun
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Someone who has gotten BINGO
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A person who still rocks out to AC/DC
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Someone who made a YOUR MOM joke in the last two years
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Someone who responds "Baby don't hurt me" when you ask "What is love?"
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Someone whose nipples actually do look like pepperonis
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Someone with an HBO Max account I can have the login for
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Somone who isn't wearing socks
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Someone who still likes Daylight Savings Time
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Someone who can't stay out too late because they have something in the morning
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Someone with a itty bitty tattoo
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Someone who can touch their toes
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Someone who dropped out of college
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Someone who plays solitaire on their phone when they poop
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Someone who puts stevia in their coffee
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Someone who actually understands how Minesweeper works
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Someone who can't sleep over their mom said no
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Someone who can't eat red meat
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Someone who keeps being mistaken for someone else
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A big fan of Mythbusters
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A person with toe problems
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A Furry
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A person with no right to be here
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