Breakup Survival Guide
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WatchAnna W.About TimeAlways reminds me about the kind of love that's real and really matters
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WatchAnna W.Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MindAnytime my heart is broken, I like to a) make myself feel as miserable as possible b) choose the most rom-coms of rom-coms to make myself feel better about life again
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WatchAnna R.Sex and the CityIt's like having four extra girlfriends you hang out with.
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WatchAshley A. Take This Waltz"Life has a gap in it. It just does. You don't go crazy trying to fill it like some lunatic."
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WatchJordan G.Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2 (continuously)Sometimes, it's just what you need
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WatchHeather C.My Sister's KeeperThis is my go-to CRY IT OUT movie. It's awfully heartbreaking, but gives a good old fashioned release of pent up tears!
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WatchAllie BHow I Met Your MotherI'm actually rewatching it right now - Having an entirely different experience single (Now I'm Robin or Ted instead of Lily) and forgot how hilarious it is.
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WatchVince R.SwingersI feel like this is the ultimate breakup movie for men. It made me realize I need to spend time with good friends and writing really gives solid advice on how to move on from a relationship that ended. It recently really pulled me out of the post-breakup pit of despair.
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WatchKim K.SinglesGrunge-era stars and music, gritty but hopeful.
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WatchMadeline M.Doctor WhoThis sci-fi world really got my mind out of reality for a little while, which really helped me. I connected to quite a few of the characters and I was able to make a lot of internet friends by bonding over the show.
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WatchMadeline M.Something BorrowedIt's your stereotypical chick flick and kind of cheesy, though it never fails to make me cry. But I watched on repeat after one breakup and it helped me realize that my ex (and how he dumped me) could've been worse.
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WatchMadeline M.When Harry Met SallyThis is my all-time favorite movie so I'm always watching it. But it helped cheer up the hopeless romantic in me after a particularly brutal breakup
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WatchMegan W"When Love Arrives"" by Sarah Kay and Phil KayeSpoken Word Poetry. Watch it on youtube. I love poetry after a breakup. The moment: "Maybe Love stays. Maybe Love can't. Maybe Love shouldn't. Love arrives exactly when Love is suppose to and Love leaves exactly when Love must." Most powerful words I've ever heard.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdJ6aUB2K4g
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WatchChristianThe Good WifeVengance by succeeding in life! The best remedy to get over the ex!
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WatchSarah M. The Last Five YearsIt's truly depressing but is good to wallow in!
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WatchSarah M. Drinking Buddies"That's the problem with heartbreak, to you it's like an atomic bomb and to the world it's just really cliche, because in the end we all have the same experience."
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WatchEmma JDaydream NationThere's something really satisfying about this movie. It always feels very theraputic to me.
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WatchJohn Mulaney's The Comeback KidPure comedy gold that doesn't make you feel like shit. Lifesaver.
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WatchStephanie SNature Programs or DocumentariesI can't watch anything that has to do with any type of relationships.
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WatchMeghan KRupaul's Drag RaceThe best mix of fun, camp, and heart. It's all about being the most fabulous version of you.
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WatchCeleste MAguirre, The Wrath of God It's really hard to think about anything else when Klaus Kinski is screaming and spitting on screen at you.
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WatchCeleste MOnly Lovers Left AliveBecause however eternal, undying your love is, it can't compare to actual vampire love.
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WatchEmer S.Parks and RecreationNothing will make you feel like you can get back up again like Leslie Knope's indefatiguable resilience.
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WatchMarie A.Coming to AmericaWatch something that never gets old to you and always makes you laugh.
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WatchJulia W.Neon Genesis EvangelionI can't explain it in one sentence, but watching a very dark, very intense anime about teenagers who are forced to fight unearthly demons inside of giant robots really helped me through my post-college breakup.
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WatchAngie M.Any and all CW Shows.Vampire Diaries/Gossip Girl/Hart of Dixie/Dawson's Creek/Felicity. All made for the youths but they're fun! That's what you need!
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WatchCaitlin M.InsecureBrilliant, funny show that depicts imperfect characters + imperfect relationships
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WatchAdinaEvery season of 24Sometimes you just can't watch a love story
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WatchAmanda MStar Wars The Force AwakensHonestly, I am not even that big of a Star Wars fan but I watched this movie two nights in a row once and it made me feel better for some reason. It was probably Carrie Fisher (RIP).
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WatchHeather CParks and RecreationOr anything light and hilarious and nothing at all heavy - something that gives your sad mind a break and forces you to laugh, depsite yourself.
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WatchMary HThe Last Five YearsThis was a huge part of getting through my divorce. I first watched this movie only a few months before the divorce, and it was incredibly relatable for me. Plus, it's a musical, so not only could I watch it over and over I could also listen to and sing along with the soundtrack. It became this interesting indicator of how I was doing with the breakup: I started watching and sobbing throughout, or singing along and crying while walking home from the bus or whatever (I had a long period of crying in public a lot...). But as the months went by (it's been almost two years now since the divorce was final) I found myself watching it less and less, or when I did watch or listen the likelyhood of my bursting into tears lessened. I haven't watched it in...I'm not sure how long now, but several months, and the songs come up when I listen to my music on random, but it's more of a nostalgic feeling that I get from it now, rather than a visceral heartbreak type of feeling.
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WatchAnne A.Ameliei don't know why, but this movie just makes me better. Amelie is such a lovely alone person. She inspires me to be a lovely alone person, too.
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WatchBrooke CAn Unmarried Woman1978! A wealthy woman from Manhattan's Upper East Side struggles to deal with her new identity and her sexuality after her husband of 16 years leaves her for a younger woman.
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WatchHelen S.Frances HaI watched this movie right after my last breakup and it spoke so much to the pain of loss but also to the possibility of new beginnings. Also it's funny and charming and smart. All-around great film
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WatchHelen S.(500) Days of SummerSuper corny but always gives some perspective. It finds the humour in a breakup, which can be so healing.
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WatchLiz DUnder the Tuscan SunIt reminds you that life has so much love and happiness to offer outside of a romantic relationship which is exactly what you need to be reminded of when you feel like your heart's been punched out of your body.
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WatchBinh P.The Break UpIt shows you that sometime the relationship ends, but you will survive, and you will be stronger in the process.
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WatchBright KellyTruly, Madly, Deeply You'll laugh, cry, and look forward
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WatchConnieThe InbetweenersEverything goes wrong for this set of British high school boys - makes you feel a little better knowing you're not them!
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WatchJulia Z. The First Wives ClubThree women left by their husband s plot revenge and find themselves in the process. Diane Keaton, Goldie Hawn and Bette Midler - come on! Doesn't get better and funnier than this!
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WatchJeannie G.The FollowingIf you're like me and want super dark twisted things to show you that it could be worse.
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WatchDaneen J.The Joy Luck ClubThis movie makes me cry every. single. time!
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WatchSunny C.Podcasts: Why Oh Why, Dear Sugar, Death Sex & Money (obvs), WTF, Mental Illness Happy Hour, StrangersI love a combination of funny with deep emotional dives. All my suggestions involve listening, which is a helpful strategy when combined with housecleaning, walking, or painting.
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WatchGarret E.Bob Ross: The Joy of PaintingJust went through a break up, Bob Ross's calm and positive vibes can really tame any anger or sorrow you may be feeling, even if you're not into painting, his show will give you an overall warmer feeling.
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WatchKatie K.The first three Harry Potter moviesLots of engaging action and suspense to keep you occupied, no love interest until the 4th movie.
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WatchLeslie W.FriendsAlways better than what is happening to you, and significantly much more funny.
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WatchDayana M.One DayBecause "whatever happens tomorrow, we'll always have today"
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WatchMurphLove ActuallyMy favorite feel good movie! Neat the way storylines are connected, like many romantic comedies in one. Liam Neeson's is probably my top one, Colin Firth's a close second!
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WatchAnnieUnbreakable Kimmy SchmidtCause females are strong as hell.
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WatchMatias P. Parks and RecreationYou will find yourself in at least one of the characters. Chris Treager's depression helped me realize I can come out of mine by sheer will, and seeing a therapist 14 times a week.
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WatchNat ACrazy Ex-GirlfriendFemale friendships ftw, and depicts stuff that happens in real life very honestly, warts and all. Also, basically a musical with jokes about period sex!
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WatchNat AGone GirlIf you need to let some hate flow out, and will also remind you why sometimes it isn't great to be in a relationship
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WatchNat ABojack HorsemanBeautifully nuanced study into depression, mental health, the lies we tell each other and ourselves... in a show about an animated horse. Strange but true!
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WatchNat ABroad CityThese 2 queens are just hilarious. Their friendship is so uplifting and makes you want to live your best life; regardless of relationship status
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WatchNat AInside OutOK, OK it is a family film. But science (and the moral) about sadness being important really does ring true.
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WatchNat AYouTubersThis can be anyone, from Grace Helbig / Hanna Hart / Mamrie Hart, through to a beauty blogger, or even just someone playing on Twitch. If you don't have the energy to go out into the world, but want some company, this can operate (for a short while) as a reasonable substitute. And make you laugh, hopefully.
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WatchLillie RBOB'S BURGERSTHA BEST SHOW EVA! So funny, and quietly feminist too!
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WatchEmily M. Better off Dead Who doesn't love 80's John Cusack?
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WatchRachelle V.The person you really need to marry https://youtu.be/P3fIZuW9P_M
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WatchOlivia HCeleste and Jessie for everBeautiful movie, with all the stages of separation, and letting go.
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WatchEttaBlack Mirror - San JuniperoIf you wanna cry it out
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WatchEttaMean GirlsIf you need a laugh
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WatchEttaAddams Family + Family ValuesIf you need a laugh...while admiring Morticia and Gomez's love
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WatchEmma R.About a BoyHugh Grant at his loveliest featuring a young Nicholas Hoult. "It happens and I wish it didn't, but that's life isn't it?"
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WatchAnonymousNowness PresentsA short video to remind us not to call the ex. https://www.nowness.com/picks/still?utm_source=FB&utm_medium=SM&utm_campaign=FB220217
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WatchCaitlin S.Jane the ViriginIt has drama, comedy, and feel good, heartfelt moments. In those moments, you can feel emotionally supported and warm and see perhaps some of the things you weren't getting before. The plot is insane, but the characters are very easy to empathize with and its cathartic to watch and does help with that emotional processing
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WatchKatie KThe first three Harry Potter moviesEngaging action, great plots, NO ROMANCE until the fourth movie!
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WatchRuth RDon't trust the bitch in apt 23Chloe is the most empowering crazy alcoholic in this story. Excellent distraction plus James Van Der Beek
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WatchCourtney DWomen on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (Pedro Almodovar)Funny movie, it was helpful for me to smile during a tough breakup
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WatchSIIn the Mood for LoveI've watched this movie after both of my big breakups--it's so beautiful
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WatchMEKSupernaturalSomehow episode after episode of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles dropping monsters made me feel better...
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WatchEricGirlsStrangely, watching raw honest emotion (the good and the ugly) helped.
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WatchDanielaBrooklyn 99Funny and not overly centred around relationships - however the episodes with Boyle's break up recovery after Vivian left him were super relatable to my mental state in a hilarious rather than sad way
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WatchElena M.My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (stand-up special by Mike Birbiglia)Really sweet and really funny and gives me hope in human relationships when mine are being shitty.
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WatchGwendolyn ZRomy and Michele's High School Reunion Girls need their girls and life is better if you're weird.
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WatchMolly G.Dumb Ways To Die Nothing to do with breakups, but it always makes me laugh, and if you're angry enough, you could imagine your ex doing all of these thingshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw
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WatchSteph P.500 Days of SummerFeel it out. The films that made me feel the best were ones that focused on romantic relationships that ended.
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WatchGintare A Good Year The one with Russell Crowe. Just something about it, makes me feel there's way bigger things out there!
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WatchJill J.Roman HolidayGregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn have the most intense connection, and then...uff
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ThinkEmer S.Redefine success in a relationshipAs Dan Savage has said on his podccast, is a relationship really a failure just because it ended (even if it ended poorly)? What good/successful things happened in your past relationship that you want to make sure future relationships have? What did you learn in the "trial and error" process?
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ThinkEmer S.Focus on other forms of loveLove is so much more than a romantic relationship. When I was single, I poured my energy into love of my family, friends, and community. Those foundations have lasted longer than any lover has, and often has been more rewarding for my sense of self and well-being.
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ThinkAdina“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.”This is one of the only things that ever comforted me
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ThinkAmanda MSometimes there are no answers, or reasons, or explanations. Sometimes you just have to realize...they got to you. And that's okay.
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ThinkEmma"Filled with despair may I recognize the universe rising to greet and comfort me"The smallest things such as a warm patch of sun or smile from a bus driver felt powerful like never before
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ThinkEmma"Aching with pain and loneliness may I hold myself in love and compassion; and remember, every life contains these things"
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ThinkKim K."You must do the thing you think you cannot do" Eleanor RooseveltIt's a great reminder to be strong and keep moving forward, even when you feel like you can't. Also works for marathons, triathalons, etc.
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ThinkSarah MYou are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart.
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ThinkGlenda WEvery relationship serves a purpose. Just because this one is over doesn't mean it's a failure.
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ThinkGlenda WBeing alone is ok. You can be a whole (and fulfilled person) without being in a relationship
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ThinkHeather C"Its not right and its not fair and its not okay, these are all true things. But no matter what happened, they are pointless to dwell on now. You can choose to be lighter, to be better and one day you will be"
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ThinkHeather CIt may take time. This is okay.
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ThinkHeather C"I can do this, and then, even if I can't, I must"
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ThinkMichael D.Avoid assigning too much weight to very sad thoughts right now. There are a lot of neurotransmitters flooding your brain right now and they may result in some really big downers. In time, you'll likely be able to see some of these thoughts as a bit more extreme than was warranted by the facts.
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ThinkJulie JEverything is temporary, including the way you feel right now. Just as your happy relationship ended, so will this sadness. Until then, just keep moving.
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ThinkAnne A.whenever i feel alone or lonely or like i can't depend on anyone, i remember what harriet the spy wrote in her new notebook after the entire class read her journal and began hating her: "i love myself." it is such a comfort to remember that no matter who you lose in your life, you always have yourself. and sometimes it helps to remember that the people you've lost are somewhere inside, in a memory, or a way of thinking.
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ThinkLiz D.Everyone jumps in to tell you that healing will come, "just give it time." And although in the moment you will want to scream at these people and their stupid, useless "advice", there will come a day when you'll look back and, even more annoyingly, realize they were right. And as frustrating and useless as "give it time" is, it's comforting to know that it really is true
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ThinkSusan B.Just because someone doesn't love you doesn't mean you are unloveable. During my senior year in college, I broke up with the first man I'd ever fallen in love with after he fell out of love with me. Also that year, I took an elective called Human Sexuality. During a class discussion on relationships, the teacher said this to the class. It's an assertion I've come back to many times since then because when you go through a break-up, you often think no one else will love you ever again. The fact is that someone else does and/or will love you, in some capacity, at some point. Because you are worth loving.
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ThinkJulia Z. Why would I even want someone back who has consciously rejected and hurt me? My Dad asked me this question years ago, when I was crying over a break up and plotting with my sister how to get him back. He just looked at me incredulously and asked: "But why would you want him back after he treated you so badly?" Thanks, Dad. He was and still is right.
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ThinkKatie M."You let time pass. That’s the cure. You survive the days. You float like a rabid ghost through the weeks. You cry and wallow and lament and scratch your way back up through the months. And then one day you find yourself alone on a bench in the sun and you close your eyes and lean your head back and you realize you’re okay."From a Cheryl Strayed Dear Sugar column, asking how to get over a breakup.
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