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TimestampQuote TextSpeakersAttribution
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11/09/2014 14:23:20"That's how I like all my hookups: not plot relevant."KaiKai
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11/09/2014 14:23:35"Wait, do I have to leave to do Gather Information?"CharlesCharles
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11/09/2014 14:24:13"This is my schmoozing with people that don't matter kimono."
"You wear that one all the time."
"Oh, wrong one. I mean, this is my friendship kimono."
James as Kenshin/Dover/Alex as KenshinKenshin
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11/09/2014 14:24:54"Lesson learned. Next time, clean the hoverdisc."Kai, about trying to get in to the yacht clubKai
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11/09/2014 14:25:29"You could just be a friendly neighbour dropping by for a groupfuck to alleviate a fight."James, on Kenshin seducing a married couple that had a fight.James
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11/09/2014 14:26:05"This is the traditional Arcane Congress sneer of Contempt."
"That place CHANGED you."
"For the better."
James as Evelyn/Dover/EvelynDover/Evelyn
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11/09/2014 14:28:05Kenshin puns!

Whenever he goes into a runic room, he’s pregnancy prevention Kenshin.
Ah, yes relieving tension with Kenshin.
If he goes to the gym, it’s benchin’ with Kenshin.
If I ever withhold information, I didn’t think it was worth a mention, Kenshin.
Do you think when he was in school, his teachers ever had detention with Kenshin?
Earlier, they tried memory retention with Kenshin, and it didn’t work.
Have you ever put hooks into the ceiling and tried suspension with Kenshin?
Paying attention with Kenshin.
When I retire I’ll have a pension with Kenshin.
Time for some political tension with Kenshin.
We need medical attention for Kenshin!
Jess/Peter/Kai/James
Jess/Peter/Kai/James
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11/09/2014 14:28:44"Can we enroll Evelyn in anger management classes?"
"As her cousin, crazy management classes."
"Can I test Knowledge Local for crazy management classes?"
Charles/Peter/CharlesCharles/Peter
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11/09/2014 14:29:01"Dover, Dover, I'm pretty sure it's just a hat."RiyekoRiyeko
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11/09/2014 14:29:20"Oh, I thought we'd killed him already."Kai, on Charles' character, 5 minutes after Charles dropped out.Kai
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11/09/2014 14:30:00"Because no-one's subtler than pirates."
"Except maybe a herd of bulls. Or you."
"Thanks cuz."
Evelyn/Dover/EvelynEvelyn/Dover
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11/09/2014 14:30:41“Were you staring at my ass?”
“No, I don’t go for gaijin, actually.”
...shocked pause...
“Does the damage to my emotions count as damage that can trigger electric vengeance?”
Evelyn/James (NPC)/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 14:31:09"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm a pirate, so join my navy."Jess, coining Prince Rhaegar's mottoJess
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11/09/2014 14:31:25“Samayen walks in with a Sivis notary in tow.”
“He drops it on the floor.”
“...a notary is a person.”
James/Peter/JamesPeter/James
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11/09/2014 14:31:47"We could say there's a deductible."
"No, we are NOT playing deductibles and dragons."
Alex/JessJess
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11/09/2014 14:32:08“How do you find a contract on a criminal organization?”
“We should put up posters saying ‘If you want a member of House Tarkanan dead, contact us.”
“Yeah, have it say, ‘Come to our address, we leave a key under the mat.’ NO.”
Jess/Peter/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 14:32:29"The rest of us will relocate, a select number of persons..."
"...to the afterlife."
Alex/JessJess
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11/09/2014 14:32:40“Kenshin gets distracted and has sex.”
“Kenshin gets booty when he gets low rolls? That’s not fair!”
Alex/PeterAlex/Peter
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11/09/2014 15:02:12“We could spike the water supply.”
“Wipe out the whole community! Good idea.”
“...I meant with alcohol.”
Alex/Peter/AlexAlex/Peter
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11/09/2014 15:02:22“Evelyn has a rank in knowledge bartending from her time at the Arcane Congress.”
“How do you think I applied that much knockout poison to my floormates?”
James/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:03:24“Cousin! I didn’t know you knew how to bartend! #Bonding over shared skills.”
“I think you mean you didn’t know he had useful skills.”
“Aaaaand the bonding is done.”
Evelyn/Charles/PeterCharles/Peter
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11/09/2014 15:03:36“There’s ALWAYS a gala.”
“#opulence”
Alex/KaiAlex/Kai
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11/09/2014 15:03:49“I introduce myself.”
“As Krusassdro Kremtamps.”
“Also anything, except that. Yes. Almos Tanythingelse.”
Kai/Peter/KaiKai/Peter
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11/09/2014 15:04:02“I raise my eyebrows sceptically at Dover. *rotates sign* I raise my eyebrows sceptically at Dover.”Kai as Ren/Kai as EvelynKai
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11/09/2014 15:04:14"I can explain. Let me... explain." *levitates away*Kell-EarKell-Ear
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11/09/2014 15:04:36"No, it's a fucking metal disc. I'm not Mary Poppins."EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:04:54“What’s our plan if someone knocks on the hut?”
“We disguise ourselves as old women and say go away, we are the Von Grisemwaldens. Wait, I just proposed that as a plan. Second plan, we cover ourselves in our own dung…”
Riyeko/DoverDover
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11/09/2014 15:05:04“Yataro can also be invisible a third of the time.”
“Wait, there are only 2.6 people in this hut. No.”
Jess/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:05:14“Let’s board everything up and get the hell outta dodge.”
‘Let’s go somewhere exciting and exotic and NOT Xen’drik.”
Riyeko/DoverDover
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11/09/2014 15:05:24“Wait Nayar was at the gala? The ir’Tain gala? That scrapper? Are you sure you didn’t see another Dhaka...mmm.”DoverDover
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11/09/2014 15:05:31“That’s ok, because this plan is all about a long lost son reuniting with his black out drunk dad in a way that will result in official employment paperwork exchanging hands before the end of the night.”DoverDover
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11/09/2014 15:05:47“I swear...to whatever gods the Daisojin believe in...so fucking complicated.”
“Welcome to Daiso.”
Dover/Riyeko on the Porter's GuildDover/Riyeko
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11/09/2014 15:06:05“They have bad insulation. We have have to put on a show.”
“Oh Aaaaalmos.”
“Oh … Bitchchelsia.”
Dover/Riyeko/DoverDover/Riyeko
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11/09/2014 15:07:16“So let’s think. Ways of faking deaths...WAYS of faking deaths.”
“We could burn down the Rolling Barrel with alchemist’s fire.”
“NO! We’re not burning down entire buildings!”
“Yeah, you’re right! That’s stupid and we’ll never use that plan. *pockets alchemist’s fire*.”
(Note: The last part is hilarious because this was a sidequest that was a jump back 2 weeks in the timeline, so they knew that they would use that plan in a week, and Peter was explaining Dover bringing the alchemist’s fire on the mission.)
Riyeko/Dover/Riyeko/DoverDover
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11/09/2014 15:07:27“The National Anthem of Q’Barra is James Elcombe’s penis voice.”PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:07:44“You know who reads? People wealthier than you.”Ren, to a peasant child who didn't want to learn to readRen
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11/09/2014 15:07:55“Wait, if Dover got a slave pregnant, no-one will care…”
“#Thomas Jefferson logic?”
Peter/JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:08:08“I was wondering if someone had rigged that slave girl [I was sleeping with] to damage him.”
“I cast Arcane Lock.”
Peter/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:09:08“What happened?”
“We were attacked by a supernatural man who was stabbed and didn’t bleed and instead of dying evaporated into mist.”
“...Can I get a second opinion in case you’re delusional?”
Nayar/Evelyn/NayarNayar
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11/09/2014 15:09:27“...couldn’t we just burn the place down?”
“Dover, why didn’t you bring the alchemist’s fire?”
Evelyn/RiyekoRiyeko
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11/09/2014 15:10:07“The two servants that ambushed you were ones who were unpopular in the servant’s quarters because they were close to the matron.”
“Hmm...cantankerous old necroMANtic thundercunt.”
James/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:11:04“What’s your best imperiousness request?”
“I want you to go to the other side of the house and rotate all the vases 12 degrees. Exactly twelve degrees. I will check.”
James/Ren to distract a servantRen
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11/09/2014 15:11:18“We walk out and eat breakfast like nothing happened. What’s she going to say? “I heard you went wandering in the secret tunnels last night and clubbed two of my minions and murdered my Earth spirit?” No. I’m not an expert in Daisojin culture, but one can’t just say these things.”EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:11:33“If we are in these tunnels for anything more than an hour, one of my characters will shit his pants. I will roll for who.”
“Anything but a 20, and it’s Dover.”
Peter/KaiPeter/Kai
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11/09/2014 15:11:46“The funny thing about Dover in this session is that the two things that are being discussed are him and slave girls and him and his axe, and it’s the axe that has the name.”CharlesCharles
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11/09/2014 15:11:58“And..you just got some random girl pregnant whose name you don’t even know.” “My character wouldn’t forget her name. What is her name?” “Sylvia.” *stunned silence*Peter/Charles/JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:12:06“I make it a habit not to make life decisions right after I’ve been accosted by the undead.”EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:12:44“Yes, humans in this world aren’t seahorses.” *rolls a d20*JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:13:06“Is there any chance that Dover could help with healing Bobo--”
“No.”
Peter/Charles, after Peter failed at healing Charles decisivelyCharles
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11/09/2014 15:13:52“Who’ve we got for the spice expedition?”
“Well, we’ve got Bookworm Spice [Riyeko], Magic Spice [Evelyn], Posh Spice [Kenshin]-”
“And not doing anything spice [Theda].”
James/Peter/JessPeter/Jess
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11/09/2014 15:14:04“Do I care? I don’t care.”Evelyn, on supernatural lightningEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:14:16“What is the dominant religion of this region?”
“Mostly tea oriented.”
Kai/JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:14:25“Yeah…I’m not there.”
“Right! All of of you are playing Spice Farmville.”
Kai/PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:14:49“How are you getting Bobo through the gate?”
“We disguise it as a large shrubbery and drag into the city.”
“You could build a large hollow megaraptor.”
“We could cover it with religious pamplets.”
James/Peter/James/PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:15:05“Crabs move sideways. Sharks move forwards. Are you a crab, or a shark?”Kai, as a Yukinawa peasant sayingKai
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11/09/2014 15:15:15“It will leap into the hearts and minds OF OUR ENEMIES.”
“And a few children, because you’re going to miss at least once.”
Peter/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:15:32“Well, this is problematic. However, however, it wasn’t me that fucked things up.”Evelyn, on discovering one of the cubes is missingEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:15:38“Far to the west, there is a Spinning Mountain, called Kalkura. It lies far to the West of the Talentan plains.”CalebCaleb
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11/09/2014 15:15:47“If Mr. Blank ever sent us a five word message, Jana would shit out a kidney.”
“I’m starting to understand why Dover’s healing checks are so bad.”
Dover/RenRen
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11/09/2014 15:15:53“So now you are Caleb Pidname, of Clan Pidname, son of Stew Pidname, defiler of jokes.”JessJess
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11/09/2014 15:16:07“Can we just shove a large wad of cloth in your mouth? All the time?”
“Dover has nice teeth and is very proud of them.”
“You won’t if I fireball them out of your mouth.”
Evelyn/Dover/EvelynDover/Evelyn
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11/09/2014 15:16:24“It could also alert him. Why is my ass screaming?”Evelyn, on trying to slip the screaming stone into someone's pocket as a distractionEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:16:42“This is a pretty ableist party. We don’t have many disabilities. I’ve decided Nayar is partially colour-blind.”
(Later:) “Trying that COULD give us our first disabled party member.”
Peter/JessPeter/Jess
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11/09/2014 15:16:50“Dover, please don’t die. You’re too entertaining.”JessJess
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11/09/2014 15:17:01“Is there any way you can organize the pigs into an army?”CharlesCharles
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11/09/2014 15:17:17“Out of character, I think you’re all a bunch of tacky whores and I’m only hanging out with you because I’m afraid of being alone.”
“Oh my god that’s so funny.”
Kai/RenKai/Ren
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11/09/2014 15:17:30“Where did you get money for a lightning rail ticket?”
“I am a mystery.”
“Wrapped around an enigma.”
“Wrapped around a lack of wisdom.”
Jess/Peter/James/KaiPeter/James/Kai
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11/09/2014 15:17:40“It’s really hard.”
“No it isn’t. You just need to take your lips, and use them to form words. Now, I know that it’s really hard for you.”
Dover/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:17:52“It’s amazing you can all remember to breathe.”-Caleb, on learning that Dover is on the brink of death due to poisonCaleb
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11/09/2014 15:18:00“Dover is dying as he lived. Completely drunk and not remembering anything.”JessJess
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11/09/2014 15:18:43“You were the main character of our jungle vacation.”
“‘’’’’’Vacation’’’’’’ in like six sets of quotation marks.”
Peter/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:18:53“You realize that by the time you get there the briefings for Theda and Kenshin will be over a month old, right?”
“At this point the briefing may well be a giant middle finger sock puppet in a jack in the box.”
James/PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:19:05“Who here knows how to build a palisade?”
“Theda.”
“Of course Theda does.”
Kai/James/KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:19:13“The reason we’re trekking across uncharted wilderness is Mr Blank sent us a messenger hawk with an all caps GO.”
“The fact that we were still there was a little Hawkward.”
Riyeko/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:19:23“Mattias gets back.”
“Who did you fuck, and for how long? Asks nobody.”
James/PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:19:47“Are you guys getting weird vibes from Nay-”
“Yes.”
Caleb/Ren, on finally realizing there's no good reason for Nayar to be hanging aroundRen
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11/09/2014 15:19:57“I was born in a city, I can figure out where things are.”
“I was born in a city, listen to the city-dweller talk.”
Ren/CalebCaleb
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11/09/2014 15:20:10“I’m really good at lying. I once bluffed a noblewoman out of a really expensive piece of jewelry.”
“But wait, maybe we only believed that story because you’re good at lying.”
“Exactly.”
Ren/Caleb/RenRen
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11/09/2014 15:20:46“How often do Geisho go into the castle?”
“Not often. The daimyo is a) old and b) has a small tree somewhere in her rectal system.”
“Ha! It’s like a stick up your ass but worse.”
“A bonsai tree.”
Jess/James/Kai/AlexJames/Alex
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11/09/2014 15:20:58“Even taking the long way, I still ran into a couple of soldiers. Fortunately, I had my dagger on me.”
“The dagger is his penis.”
Kenshin/JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:21:14“How do you feel about a vacation in barbarian infested territory?”
“Well, the last time I went somewhere nice and quiet, it turned out to be a murderous hellhole. So maybe if I go to a murderous hellhole, it will turn out to be nice and quiet.”
James as Mazein/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:21:24“Does Nayar look like *description of Nayar from Xen’drik expedition*”
“Why yes, what a lack of coincidence.”
Xe'Rol/RenRen
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11/09/2014 15:21:39“Man, the wings of this building look like penises.”
“Especially if you read wing as wang.”
“Wings are often called wangs in Daiso. It’s canon.”
“Fine.”
Kai/Alex/Peter/JamesPeter/James
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11/09/2014 15:21:49“Ok, here’s the plan.”
*describes plan*
“And you know who would do that? Nobody, because it’s stupid.”
KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:21:58“Yeah...let’s scout out the city a bit before we come back, because I don’t want to be all like mmm home sweet death.”RiyekoRiyeko
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11/09/2014 15:22:11“This is going to be the best torture op this party has ever put together.”
“It’s the only torture op this party has ever put together.”
“I predict that when we confront House Tarkanan, there’ll be torture involved.”
“Yeah...but they aren’t likely the ones to be tortured.”
Peter/Jess/Peter/JamesJames
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11/09/2014 15:23:11“I’m not privy to this conversation, but all in favour of killing everyone here and never going back to Sharin?”Jess, after Nayar warns them against killing him and the ir'Tain ninjasJess
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11/09/2014 15:23:24“No Nayar, it wouldn’t have ended in conflict. <I fireball the side of the mountain.> Because you can’t really call that conflict.”Evelyn, at the end of the standoff with NayarEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:23:41“You might want to deal with the ninjas.”
“What ninjas?”
“Y’know the decoy ninjas. The ninjas that were a decoy for us, our decoy ninjas.” *done very smoothly* “Yes! I pulled it off.”
Evelyn/Nayar/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:23:52“I’m so concerned that Evelyn is a teacher in a position of power.”
“I have so many ideas on how to abuse people.”
Jana/EvelynEvelyn
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11/09/2014 15:25:11“Remember that game where our psychotic wizard became a university professor and we all became teaching assistants?”
“And then there was a union strike…”
“Marking papers by day, fighting gangs by night.”
“Godammit Steve! Kern your runes! You’re a third year!”
Peter/Kai/Peter/KaiPeter/Kai
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11/09/2014 15:25:26"You still working on that lesson plan?"
"Yeah, I'm stuck on the air guitar solo..."
"It's evocation, so the air is playing the guitar."
Peter as Riyeko/Peter as Evelyn/JessPeter/Jess
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11/09/2014 15:25:35"Let us begin the tea ceremony of Dhakaan denialism." JessJess
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11/09/2014 15:26:07“Where are we supposed to go now?”
“You can go the one place Arenzo will never expect to find you…”
“Arenzo’s house?”
“...Yes. You can be _completely incognito_ as servants in Rento’s mansion.”
“And we can TP Rento’s mansion on the way out of Sharin.”
Peter/James/Kai/James/PeterKai/Peter
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11/09/2014 15:26:34“Awwww, you found me! Who’s a good raven? Whoooooo’s a good raven?”
*flips sign*
“Evelyn, we’ve been over this. It’s me.”
Evelyn/SparksSparks
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11/09/2014 15:26:42“Nobody messes with House Jorasco. The last time someone did, they withdrew all of their healing services for three years.”
“Healthcare is important! Doctors with borders!”
James/PeterPeter
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11/09/2014 15:26:51“You are stabbed with a kunai knife. It was covered in shellfish. Take 2 points of anaphylaxis damage.”KaiKai
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11/09/2014 15:27:24“They call him TwoSpell because he’s a sorcerer who only knows Charm Person and Magic Missile.”
“Ah well, two spells is better than no spell. Isn’t that right, NoSpell?”
“You will rue your mockery one day! My draconic destiny is unstoppable!”
James as Jeneen Renar d'Lyrendar/Evelyn/James as NoSpellJames
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11/09/2014 15:27:44“Wow, we’re just killing people to clean up our mistakes.”
“How else do you clean up mistakes?”
Peter/KaiKai