ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRST
1
2
Mission nameGiven ByTipsCone Crazy times:
3
*Hotel*-Skip the outside cutsceneSafer times:
4
The PartyLHead to the Colonel, then to Pole PositionRun 125left24
5
Back Alley BrawlLHead to Malibu Club, pick up shotgun on beach near a bench and run over the chef, then Ammunation and hotel now take the outside cutscene and skip bothRun 222left21
6
Cone Crazy-Punch off the door of the car first, for times see right, yoloflip off the roof at the endRun 319left18
7
Jury FuryLGo north first, get the PSJ next to the building opposite the bridge, shotgun the car 2 times, repeat with the other car, get in before cutsceneRun 416left15
8
RiotLShotgun left van 4 times and shoot the barrel by the right vans after that. After mission head to the Colonel boat.Run 513left12
9
Treacherous SwineCPhonecall before mission start (Colonel). Shoot the target, drive through police bribe and head back to the boat immediately.Run 610left9
10
Mall ShootoutCPhonecall before mission start (Sonny), pick up the pistol during this. Trigger cutscene, jump off over fence, shoot target before he gets on the bike, back to the boat.Run 77left6
11
Guardian AngelsCUse the Kruger received. Pick up all the weapons in this mission. First two cars from south, then van from south (use the chainsaw), van from north (blow it up), car from south, then bike chase. Head to Diaz island, jump off 2/3 for Diaz phonecall, make bike slide.Run 88left7
12
The ChaseD Trigger first two cutscenes, then drive around in Infernus, shoot the barrels on roof, take health, enter buggy and drive it into water, let target get in infernus, get in, when he gets in passenger side (must be slowly driving!), drive to the N island, NE house.Run 9At least 9leftAt least 8
13
Phnom Penh '86DJust aim well. Sprint through the house without shooting. M60 is received with 100 bullets upon completion (use it for killing Diaz and Sonny and for the Friendly Rivalry mission)
14
The Fastest BoatDDrive as far as possible into boatyard. Enter the boat through the fence on the right.
15
Supply & DemandDGo north past the biggest golf island to the boat. On the way back just aim well.
16
Sir Yes SirCPhonecall before mission start (Vance). Park car in front of tank, then shoot backwards for extra speed, head left, right, left, right.
17
Death RowKTake the police helicopter from the N on the W island before mission start. Land the helicopter between fence, crane and waste pile, shoot some of the guys in the way when heading to Lance.
18
Rub OutDTake the helicopter to the Diaz Island. Race up around back to Diaz. Use the M60 to kill Diaz.
19
ShakedownVShoot the windows with the SMG.
20
*Non Linear*-See below
21
Cap the Collector$Try to ram the collectors off their bikes.
22
Keep Your Friends CloseVFirst hold off enemies until Lance appears, then run to the roof to take care of him, get back for Sonny (health and armor at the bottom of the stairs). Use the M60 to kill Sonny and Lance.
23
24
25
26
27
28
Non linear part:
29
30
Spilling the BeansPrintworksTake the cab to Malibu. Park your car just north of the docks gate. At the boat go up the northmost "entrance" and run to the north of the ships, up the stairs there to the target. When escaping just jump off the ship immediately, landing close to the car
31
Hit the CourierPrintworksDrive-by the guard by the gate, then drive-by everyone who runs at you. On your way to where the heli lands, kill the snipers on the roofs (4 in total). After the landing kill the driver and carrier and return the plates in the helicopter.
32
33
*Watching Stripper*Pole PositionRun in the stripper booth and cancel, get two stars to avoid phone calls (chainsaw everyone inside)
34
35
36
Import Garage List 1Sunshine Auto'sIn approximate order of rarity:
37
Known as SSABlista Compact
38
Esperanto
39
Idaho
40
Stallion: Cone Crazy Parking
41
Rancher
42
Landstalker: NW house on Diaz Island
43
44
DistributionCherry PoppersBe careful nobody is blocking the van spawn when buying the asset. Head to the docks, at day without rain (save until this is the case if necessary).
45
50 deals total, every 4 deals is a star, try not to get more than 1 star, if you do use the Pay 'n' Spray. Switch the view to a longer range (change view 4 times, to return to normal at the end of the mission change once more)
46
47
Checkpoint CharlieBoatyardBe careful at the ramps. Best completed after Cherry Poppers. To get off the boat once done "park" it by driving into the side of the jetty of the NE house on Starfish Island.
48
49
V.I.P.Kaufman CabsTurn around the cab before sounding the horn. Drive-by the rival taxi to get the passenger to get in your cab. Be very careful not to get busted while letting the passenger in, or driving over the passenger or having the rival taxi drive over him.
50
Friendly RivalryKaufman CabsOnce you started the mission, get into a faster car. Go after the eastmost taxi first, since that one might be heading for the other island. Destroy the taxi's with the M60.
51
CabmaggedonKaufman CabsOnce you spawned the rival taxi's, drive to the southernmost point (near the big boat), leave your taxi at a safe distance, jump on the ledge (be careful no taxi's get on there) then destroy the taxi's. Drive along the wall to the zebra cab and kill the driver.
52
53
Bar BrawlVercetti EstateDrive over the security guards at the bar. Have your car face east when attacking the compound to chase after the bikers.
54
Cop LandVercetti EstateGet the Infernus and get 2 stars during drive to garage. Once in uniform go to the Sparrow (heli) in the bushes to the west of the garage. Land the heli near the S entrance of the mall, do your thing and head back to the mansion using the heli.
55
56
57
The non linear part linearized:
58
After Shakedown, head to Kaufman Cabs, taking any cars you see for SSA. Optimally, you're done with SSA during Kaufman Cabs.
59
Next, do Bar Brawl followed by Pole Position.
60
Copland is next, followed by Printworks.
61
Finally, Cherry Poppers and then Boatyard.
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99