La Calisto - WikiTranslation
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Staff Notes:Translation A: Marquis, Cheeseman, Kirk, Gish (Giunone), Momma, Stoddard, Mandelbaum, Rodriguez, Costello (Pane), W. Esch, Richardson, Mortensen, K. EschScene/
Italian (libretto form)Translation B: Hughes, Caffaro, Yin, Delphis, Jarboe, DelVecchio, Costello (Endimione), Palmer, Storms, Budiardjono, Kakacek, Xu, Gish (Natura)Staff Notes:
WELCOME -- Instructions in the 2nd tab at the bottom left of your screen!Prologue reconciled to JWBP R O L O G OWELCOME -- Instructions in the 2nd tab at the bottom left of your screen!
Scena unica
L'antro de L'eternità.
La natura, L'eternità, Il destino
Great start!
L2 - dal here better would be "from the"
principi is, I believe, correct in JWB ("origins of life"), see also Florio (principij/principio)
L2 - historical context - what curve? What is it they have to leave?
see note 11 on p. xci of the edition we are using for some help
L5 - fatte is the participle, not an imperative
L5 - al - prepositions are slippery - "to" is a possibility, or contextually this could also be "in the" (mostly just has to make sense to you!)
L7 - I think we need a more positive connotation for spazi - as it's the place where the path of life takes these souls
L8 - correte illustri - this is a vocative phrase, or to whom the speech is being delivered
L8 - dorso - yes, "ridge" is a possibility, but I think that "back" is more appropriate (the back of those people in the vocative!)
L10 - terminato - again, a participle
Souls pure, and flying, which of the curve, which form the eternal serpent knotting the principles, you must leave, descend, true ones, be seated, do as charioteers, to the governing of various bodies, and place the moderation to [the] sense, the voids of life run distinguished, so that Virtue over the ridge here returns, finishing the course.LA NATURA
Alme pure, e volanti,
che dal giro, che forma il serpe eterno
annodando i principi, uscir dovete,
scese, giuste, sedete,
fatte aurighi, al governo
de' corpi misti, e posto il freno al senso,
i spazi della vita
correte illustri, acciò Virtù sul dorso
qui vi ritorni, terminato il corso.
Pure and flying souls,
from the circle that the eternal serpent forms,
knotting the principles, you must leave, descend, righteous ones, be seated, make (yourselves) charioteers, that govern various bodies, a greatnd having moderated your senses, move freely through life, illustrious runners, / so that when the course is through/ you return here with virtue on your backs.
L2 - subject/object order is also tricky: more often than not, the object winds up BEFORE the subject in these poetic forms. The serpent forms the circle (coil). Also, principi is, I believe, correct in JWB ("origins of life"), see also Florio (principij/principio)
L5 - fatte is the participle, not an imperative (use to check your conjugations when necessary) i.e. "made charioteers," which becomes a subordinate clause
However, I will leave the note that the (him) in English L9 is not syntactically present in the Italian. Technically speaking, "the way leads here." (no object)
He who here ascends
lives life
Nature makes him divine.
But rocky
is the way,
that dispatches (him) here;
the street is steep and stony.
Chi qua sale
vive vita
divinizza la Natura.
Ma sassosa
è la via,
che qui invia;
è la strada alpestra, e dura.
Whoever there rises (ascends?)
lives life
Nature makes divine.
But rocky (trecherous?)
is the way
that leads here;
the road is mountanous and tough.
L3 - "sublime" is good - exhalted.... JWB has noble.....all fine choices
The path of Hercules
leads up here;
the spirits lift up (exalt?) /
sublime Virtue /
to this high summit. (RR)

Il calle d'Alcide
conduce quassù[;]
eccelsa Virtù
a quest'alta cima
i spirti sublima.
The path of Hercules
leads up here(;)
Sublime Virtue elevates
the spirits
to this high peak.

The path of Hercules
leads up here;
most high Virtue
raises the spirits /
to this high peak. (AG)
CF (EK) (Alcide = Heracles = Hercules)

L6 - for fattura, I think you have a perfect modern usage definition. Check out the same word in 1611 Florio.
NICE job!
Great mother, ultimate leader, ancient sage
fruitful creator
of that, which in (all) the elements has life;
because you lie carved
in the diamond-like cave,
your noble workmanship
there ascends Destiny.
Gran madre, ottima duce, antica augusta,
produttrice ferace
di ciò, che dentro gl'elementi ha vita;
perché resti scolpita
nell'antro adamantino,
tua nobile fattura
quivi ascende il Destino.
Great mother, best leader, ancient wise (woman),
fertile creator.
of all that has life within the elements;
because you stay carved
into this adamantine cave,
your noble creation,
Destiny ascends here.
L3 - che is tricky because there are so many possibilities: "for/because" (as in perche), "that" (as in the beginning of a clause), "what" or even "who" (also starting clauses)....oy! So, here it's ____? To make sense of it, you'll probably have to move the verb cluster.
L3 - varco ?
Unchanging boy
more old than Saturn and more than myself,
enter, that the cave-mouth is not forbidden to you.
Immutabil garzone
più vecchio di Saturno e più di me,
entra, che 'l varco non si vieta a te.
Unchangeable boy,
older than Saturn, and older than me,
enter, since the way is not prohibited to you.
CF Awesome!Goddess, (you) / who note and write the names /
eternal and divine / with starry characters
in the page of eternity;
from your serpentine, spherical throne
Eternalize Calisto. To heaven,
let the new form and ornament rise.
Diva, che eterni, e divi
con stellati caratteri nel foglio
del sempiterno i nomi noti, e scrivi;
dal serpertino tuo sferico soglio
eternizza Calisto. Al firmamento
nova forma s'accresca, ed ornamento.
Goddess, / you who note and write / (all) the
eternal and divine names,
/ with letters of stars
on the page / of eternity,
from your serpentine , spherical throne,
Eternize Calisto let this new form and ornament
be added to the firmament.
You may enjoy checking out some of JWB's choices, but these are great.
Who calls her to the spheres?
What quality eternalizes her?
Chi la chiama alle sfere?
Qual merto l'immortala?
Who names her to the stars?
What merits will immortalize her?
One possible final adjustment: instead of "name," perhaps "calls" would be more the right flavor.
CF TerrificMy desire.
One does not ask (a) reason
for this, which the fate ends and orders.
My decrees are
secret likewise to the gods.
Il mio volere.
Non si chiede ragione
di ciò, che 'l Fato termina, e dispone.
Sono i decreti miei
arcani anco agli dèi.
(It is) my wish.
No one asks a reason
for things that Fate ends and dispenses.
My decrees are
secrets even to the gods.
L2 - "No one" is ok - or perhaps more accurately "one doesn't"
CF (RR)Calisto to the stars.
Let her graceful features /
be eternally adorned /
with sparkling rays.
Let the flames rise up
at the celestial poles. (RR)
Calisto alle stelle.
Di rai scintillanti
i vaghi sembianti
s'adornino eterni.
Ai poli superni
s'accreschan fiammelle.
Calisto to the stars.
May her vage semblances /
be adorned forever
with sparkling rays.
The fame of her story shall
shine in the startight. (JX)

Calisto to the stars.
May her pretty face /
be adorned forever/
with sparkling rays.
May the pires(flames) go up/
to the highest points (poles). (EK)

Calisto to the stars/
Let her lovely face/
be adorned eternally/
by scintillating rays.
Let the flames ascend
to the celestial poles.

for JX
L3 - vaghi ? (plural of vago)

One possible further adjustment that JWB offers is "lovely features" which gets you the plural and makes it about her whole being

Atto primo
Checked against JWBScena prima
Selva arida.
Giove, Mercurio.
L1 - what's "fulminated"?
L3 - intero should be an adjective
L4 - infimo this is more literally the "lowest" (as in altitude) hemisphere. It's important to understand that they thought the heavens were in layers (like atmospheric layers) and that the clouds and stars and everything else rotated around on those 'globes' or 'hemispheres'
L4 - for serba perhaps something like "retains" (JWB has "absorbs")
L6 - languente adverb acting as an adjective
L8 - who or what is doing the asking?
Start with those things, and then we'll come back.
The flame /
of the fire did not melt
The sapphires of the spheres; All orbs are globe.
Well the awful hemisphere
keeps warm vapor, still burning;
Already the earth has been languished
With thousands of mouths,
ask for help, feverish, highly
the left courses
have contained their streams in the urns.
Del foco fulminato
non stempraro le fiamme
delle sfere i zaffiri; ogn'orbe è intero.
Ben l'infimo emisfero
serba caldi vapori, ancora ardente;
già la terra languente
con mille bocche, e mille,
chiede, febbricitante, alti soccorsi,
abbandonati i corsi
nell'urne lor s'hanno racchiusi i fiumi.
The flame of the lightning
did not melt
the sapphires of the spheres; each orb remains whole (intact).
The lowest hemisphere
Retains hot vapors, still burning;
Already the Earth languishes
with thousands and thousands of mouths,
feverishly asking for help from on high,
(the rivers) have abandoned their courses
and into their tombs (?; literally a pot) have enclosed themselves.
L4 - where can we insert something for ben? (what's it go with?) It's a particle which bumps things up.
L5 - languente is used as an adj., not a verb
L7 - mood/tense of chiede?
L8 (English) - (for) [not explicit in Italian, put in parens to show]
L8 alti I like "from on high" just fine, but it requires (idiom)
L9 - needs to be a subordinate clause, so perhaps "(having) abandoned (their) courses"
L10 - "tomb" or even the cognate is hard to beat here (I like upgrades from cognates, but when the cognate is best.....)
Good start!
L1 - not a big deal, but "smoke" is never plural in English. If you want a plural to match fiume, you could use "fumes" or "vapors" that's ok, or just "smoke"
L2 - what is the subject of mandano?
L4 - tocca a ______ is an expression. In Florio, see tocca a voi
Exhalations, and smokes
send the lawns to the parched heaven
and withered, and bloomed
the bushes live barely. Now it happens to us
what the world have had, and providence, and cure recovering (from) the illness, and restoring Nature.
Esalazioni, e fumi
mandano al cielo inariditi i prati,
e sfioriti, e schiomati
vivono a pena i boschi. Or tocca a noi
ch'avem del mondo, e provvidenza, e cura
ristorar gl'egri, e risarcir Natura.
Exhalations, and fumes
send the meadows to the heavens,
and strips the flowers,
and the forests barely live. Now it is up to us
who have the world, and providence, and cure
(restore in infinitive?) the sick, and restore (?) Nature.
L2 - order for clarity, not to match the Italian (generally subject/verb/object)
L3 - needs two adverbs (functioning as adjectives)
L4 - no "and" (connect back to L3)
L5 - get del in there, and it will clear up
Salad: che noi avemo 1) provvidenza, 2) cura del Mondo .....e 3) ristorar gl'egri 4) risarcir Natura (ristorare and risarcire used as nouns)
L2 - nice "gloss"
L4 - 8 mostly great, but I'd make one more adjustment which will get us closer to the large-scale syntax: restore the
original state and beautiful appearance TO the barreness/ashes and destruction
(Tu) potevi tornar le pompe prime
e le sembianze belle
all'arido, al distrutto
You father, and you lord
of all things created (mortals) and without creation; (deities)
You, king of all,
you could return
this arid land, (and this) destruction
to its original state and (its) beautiful appearance/
from the blessed top
of sublime Olympus,
without leaving the heavens.
Tu padre, e tu signore
delle cose composte, ed increate;
tu monarca del tutto,
all'arido, al distrutto,
Dalle cime beate
dell'Olimpo sublime,
tornar le pompe prime
e le sembianze belle
potevi pur senza lasciar le stelle.
You father, and you lord
Of things composed (Mortals) and uncreated (Gods)
You king of everything...
To the dry, to the destructed,
From the blessed peak
top (of) sublime Olympus,
Come back to the original glories
And the beautiful features
You could have without even leaving the stars.
L4 - missing a "to"; arido is masquerading as a noun
L5 - try "from" instead of "to"
L6 - try "of" instead of "to" (pesky prepositions!)
L5, 6 - get your adjectives in a place that makes sense in English
L7-9 potevi tornar (auxiliary verb and main verb sepated by whole lines!!!)
Start with that much -- good start.
L3 - 4 - This is wonky syntax; Lucy?
I fear, you who descended,
instead of bringing comfort to the sick
and not killing the suffering, (you will) once more
destroy, and recreate
the descendants of (this) depraved stone.
More unholy than ever,
humanity, amid such loathsome abominations
despises the thunderbolt, and you who sends it.
Tem'io, che qui disceso,
invece d'apportare al mal ristoro
non uccidi il penante, e in modi novi
non distruggi, e rinnovi
la progenie de' sassi depravata.
Più che mai scellerata,
l'umanità, tra vizi abbominandi,
il folgore disprezza, e tu ch'il mandi.
I fear that you, (having) descended here,
With the intention of not bringing health to the sick,
You should not kill the sufferer in new ways,
You should not destroy, but renew
The children of this depraved stone.
More wicked than ever,
The humanity, with their abominable vices,
Damns thunderbolt, and scorns you who send it.
L1, the comma and the che create a subordinate clause, so "that (having) descended here,"
L3, 4 Imperative verbs.
L8 - l'umanita disprezza il folgore
L1 - mood/tense?
L2 - poscia meaning and 'person'? (subject)
L4 - esempi (esempio)?
L7 - lumi/lights is poetic for ____? (see also Shakespeare)
L9 - what is the more common name for Fetonte?
Return the dignity to the Holy Mother first,
then with the squads
of rebels, and harmful people
I will renew the instances of Licaon
But Mercurio, who comes?
That Archer Nymph arrives here?
Oh, what ____,
brighter than I have ever seen:
fallen Phaeton,
and I will recover
the glints in the eyes, and the forehead.
Pria si renda il decoro alla gran madre,
che poscia con le squadre
di ribelli, e nocenti
di Licaon rinnoverò gl'esempi.
Ma Mercurio, chi viene?
Qual ninfa arciera in queste parti arriva?
Oh, che luci serene,
più luminose non le vidi mai:
il caduto Fetonte,
e i saettati rai
ricoverò negl'occhi, e nella fronte.
First let dignity be returned to the Great Mother,
so that the teams (tribes)
of rebels and harmful people
of Lycaon renew their examples. (?, feels awkward)
But Mercury, who is coming?
What Nymph archer arrives in these parts?
Oh, what serene eyes, (eyes?)
more luminous have I ever seen:
the dead Phaeton,
and the (sun's) shooting rays
are recovered in her eyes, and on her brow.
L2 - if you consider this che a "so that", I think it makes more sense
L4 - rinnoverò mood/tense/person? You're close once you sort that out.
L6 - any way to think of arciera as an noun masquerading as an adjective? (you'll see it happens a lot here!)
L7 - yes, "eyes" Shakespeare (and lots others) "lights" = eyes
L8 - no "than"
L9 - caduta may very well mean "dead" in a literal sense, but the poetry is easy to match with another directly translated word....
L11 - ricoverò mood/tense/person?
L3 - per - more apt choice for the preposition? through"/throughout? - it needs the feeling of the sound going out in a direction
L5 - no "like" - just she (Calisto) follows the huntress/archer (Diana)
L7 - can you upgrade from the cognate for rigida? maybe "strict"?
L8 - casto and riverito are the same part of speech, both modifying nume
(edited TS) / getting there....C
Of the King turned into wolf,
from Lycaon (to be) exact,
That howls his misdeeds/ in the woods,
isn't this woman his illustrious daughter, and armed (with a) bow
following like the archer,
severe Cynthia (Diana), and she too,
rigid as (she is) beautiful,
no less as chaste as her respectable goddess,
who also despises the light of love's torch.
Del re cangiato in lupo,
di Licaone appunto,
Ch'ulula per le selve il suo misfatto,
è costei prole illustre, e d'arco armata
segue la faretrata
Cintia severa, e anch'ella,
rigida quanto bella,
non men del casto, e riverito nume,
della face amorosa aborre il lume.
Per the king changed into a wolf
From the very Lycaon (Troy) ,
Who howls through the woods of his misdeeds,
Is this one illustrious child, armed with a bow
Follows the huntress,
The severe Cynthia (Diana), and also she (is)
As draconian as beautiful,
Not less as chaste as her and revered deity,
Who abhors the light of love's torch .
L1 - for del, try "of" - it is the only way that we really get the sense of a genitive case in Italian. Here's the obscenely spread out core of the sentence in salad order:

costei è prole illustre del re cangiato in lupo,
e segue la faretrata,
e anch'ella aborre il lume della face amorosa....

This leaves out a few subordinate clauses, but shoudl be a help.
L1 - gender of giovinette? also, semplici is not being used very nicely
L2 - votar is what kind of verb?
Immature girls,
to pledge yourself to infertility, and to inhumanize the forests
as company of the animals.
Semplici giovinette,
votarsi all'infecondia, e per le selve
disumanarsi in compagnia di belve.
Simple young girls,
Pledge yourself to infertility, and for (through?) the forests
dehumanize in the company of beasts (animals)
L1 - upgrade on the cognate for semplici?
L2 - infinitive - translate a such, and you'll find yourself a nice rhetorical phrase
L2 - "through" is indeed better
L3 - again the infinitive, here with a reflexive ending
Text reconciled to JWBScena seconda
Calisto, Giove, Mercurio.
L2 - nice choice for onori - (I also like JWB's "glories")

Second stanza:
L2 - "foot" is fine (literal) or idiomatically, "step" is also possible
L4 - paired body parts (that we give as plurals, but Italians do not)
Shady plants
Where are your canopies (idiom)?
Graceful flowers
Charred by the flame,
Hills, and banks,
Formerly covered in emeralds,
Now bereft
Of the beautiful greenery, I sigh there.

Wherever I turn,
Hot, (my) foot, and thirsty
I find the wave
receded into the fountain,
Neither (my) brow
Can I bathe, nor (my) parched lips.
Yes, who thunders burns the earth?
No more Giove, ah no more strife!
Piante ombrose,
dove sono i vostri onori?
Vaghi fiori
dalla fiamma inceneriti,
colli, e liti,
di smeraldi già coperti,
or deserti
del bel verde, io vi sospiro.

Dove giro,
calda, il piede, e sitibonda,
trovo l'onda
rifuggita entro la fonte,
né la fronte
bagnar posso, o il labbro ardente.
Sì, chi tuona arde la terra?
Non più Giove, ah non più guerra!
Shady plants,
where is [the] your pride and joy (idiom, i.e. blossoms)
Beautiful flowers,
burned away by the flame;
hills and banks
already covered in emeralds
now void
of the beautiful greenery, I sigh for you.

Wherever I turn,
hot, (my) feet, and thirsty (greedy),
I find the wave
fled again to the spring,
Neither (my) face
I can wash, nor (my) burning lips.
Yes, he who thunders burns the earth?
No more, Giove, ah no more war!
L2 - beautiful idiomatic choice for onori
L10 - sitibondo - good upgrade with thirsty, but I like that you keep "greedy" in there as a color
L16 - I've added a comma after "more," for clarity, to make Jove the vocative. Do you agree? Yes, completely. I was trying to preserve the punctuation in the original Italian, but it seems like they have a different sensibility about when to use certain marks.
offese could also be something like "crime"
The beauty has made you guilty (indicated your guilt) /
of the fire's damage.
MERCURIODell'offese del foco
la bella ti fa reo.
Beauty has shown you are guilty /
of the fire's damage
I've added a slash to show displacement of 2 full lines.
bella is an adj. used as a noun (correct) but when that happens, it's usually the personification of someone's attribute --- the beautiful (woman), the sick (man), etc. Best to add the second word for clarity and put it in parentheses.
CFCillenio(Mercurio), ah how
could a ray of the grace could
pierce my divinity.
Sweetly rebellious
to its creator, that face,
if I could die, it would kill me.
Cillenio, ah che poteo
un raggio di quel bello
la mia divinità render trafitta.
Caramente rubello
al suo fattor, quel viso,
se potessi morir, m'avrebbe ucciso.
Cilennio, ah how
one ray of such beauty
can pierce my divinity.
Sweetly rebellious
to her creator, that face,
if I could die, would have killed (me).
L3 - the little clue that you're missing is the "t'"
Salad: l'egra inferma-ti. You can do it without "by"
You came down to heal,
but (an) inexperienced physician
has been made ill by the sick one: by fully quenching
the fire (you are) guilty (of), you ignite (your) breast
with Cocytus's flame. (underworld river)
Scendesti per sanare,
e fisico imperito
l'egra t'inferma: nel smorzar a pieno
il colpevole ardor, ti accende il seno
con fiamme di Cocito.
You descended to heal (the sick),
And (as an) unskilled physician
You have been made the sick; in quenching fully
The guilty fire, you ignite your (own)breast
With flames of cocytus (the underworld)
L3 - close - the sick (person/woman/girl) has made YOU ill (l'egra is the subject)
Otherwise good
L4 - "gut" is a little raw -- not wrong -- but is it what you really mean?
L6 - a drop of salubre umor - healthy (liquid) nourishment?
salubre = healthful
humore = bodily fluids
From this bubbling spring
Are the waters lost again.
Who will give / ease and health
to my viscera?
Cruel heat burns me,
Nor for me does the torrent, the spring, the river
Have a drop of healthy nourishment for me.
Di questa scaturigine profusa
son l'acque anco perdute.
Refrigerio, e salute
alle viscere mie chi porgerà?
M'arde fiero calor,
né per me stilla di salubre umor
il torrente, la fonte, il rio non ha.
From this gushing source
the waters are again lost.
Who will give/
relief and health to my body (innards, womb)?
Fierce heat burns me,
nor does the brook, the spring, the river have
a drop of wholesome moisture (humor/bodily fluid) for me.
L2 - anco -- OK, just notice in Florio that "today" is listed as a meaning; I wonder if that kind of means 'newly' or 'this' day? Lucy?
L7 - umor(e) in Florio = humore
(just leaving the note here about the "h")
CFThe eternal spirits / will descend from the heavens
to solace you, o dearest;
and, like servants racing each other,
bring the ambrosia (which is) supreme for Gods, to you.
Scenderanno da' cieli
per ricrearti, o bella
le menti eterne; e quasi serve a gara
t'arrecheran l'ambrosia, a dei sì cara.
Eternal Spirits / (will) descend from the heavens
to entertain you, oh lovely one
and like servants will compete
to bring you ambrosia, so dear to the gods.
L3 - a gara you have the right idea, but syntactically closer would be "in competition" and then use "they bring you"
L3 - -etta add a word
L4 - vaga is an adjective pretending to be a noun - look up vago
L5, 7 - i bei coralli della tua dolce amorosetta bocca
See, the fresh crystals of the spring
(which) splash richly.
The beautiful corals of your sweet little mouth,
immerse my vague languid one
in the receded wave.
Vedi della sorgente
in coppia scaturir fredd'i cristalli.
Della tua dolce bocca amorosetta,
vaga mia languidetta,
nell'onda uscita immergi i bei coralli.
See (how) from the source
in the cup the cold crystals come forth.
Of your amorous little mouth,
my lovely languid one,
immerse the lovely corals in the open(ing; more sensual?) wave.
L2 - in coppia?
L3 - can you account for the -etta ending?
L5 - "open" is not bad....what do you imagine the image to be?
L3-5 basic order (perhaps rearrange some entire lines?)
L2 - I've bracketed your "to" which, though correct, wouldn't be needed in English
L3 - extra "water"?
L3 - "centers" is perfectly correct --- but to upgrade, think of where water centers (starts)
Who are you, who commands
[To] the waters, oh marvelous heights, unheard of,
And from their springs sends them to quench
The smoldering shores?
Chi sei tu, che comandi
all'acque, o meraviglie alte, inudite,
e dai lor centri ad irrigar le mandi
le sponde incenerite?
Who are you, who commands
[to] the waters, o lofty, unheard-of splendors,
and from their sources sends them to irrigate
the incinerated banks?
CF - terrific!
Lucy - o meraviglie alte, inudite what's the function? "Wonder of wonders" or talking about acque?
L1 - sapere + fare can mean "to be able to do (something)" or here "One who can do greater things"
L2 - missing translation for con un cenno
L4 - che here is "who"
L6 - trovo ?
One who can do greater things
with an action. The planets, and the elements,
I can melt (them), (and) rennovate at moments.
I am Giove, who has descended
from heaven for healing the earth which burns,
find myself ardent by the fire of your eyes.
Chi sa cose maggiori
far con un cenno. Gl'astri, e gl'elementi,
struggendo, rinnovar posso in momenti.
Giove son io, che sceso
dal ciel per medicar la terra, ch'arde,
dal foco de' tuoi rai mi trovo acceso.
(One) who can do greater things
with one nod. The stars and the elements,
destroy, and recreate in a moment.
I am Jove, who has descended
from heaven to heal the Earth that burns,
from the fire of your eyes I am set on fire.
L1-2 - sapere + fare = ?
L3 - posso ?
L6 - trovare ?
L3 nel sen di Giove I think fine as an idiom if you want to mark "(idiom)"; otherwise, run to the bosom/embrace (also kind of idiomatic)
L6 - There's no "is" there; There's no reflexive. Salad: (Ei) darà l'empireo seren de' tuoi baci per premio.
L7-8 Might be nice to use the / to reverse the lines, e.g.
Your spirit will enjoy /
true delights.
(edited TS...Right? like vezzosa in Florio's also meaning buxom ;)
Coquettish archer
Run lovingly
to the affections of Jove.
The Empyrean bliss
is the award he will give/
for your sweet kisses.
Your spirit will enjoy/
true delights.
Arciera vezzosa
ricorri amorosa
di Giove nel sen.
L'empireo seren
de' dolci tuoi baci
per premio darà.
Delizie veraci
tuo spirto godrà.
Pretty archeress
Run lovingly
To the breast of Giove
The empire serene (meaning the emperor )
Score sweet kisses
As prizes he will give.
The voracious lights
Your spirit will enjoy
L4 - empireo = the heavens
L5 - ???
L6 - premio singular
L7 - veraci is a false cognate! :-)
L7-8 - I suggest you reverse the two lines in English and use a /
L1 - sen(o) here - figuratively "bosom" or even MORE idiomatically "embrace"
L3 - ricorri = imperativo
Sweet, lovely archer,
hasten towards
the embrace of Giove,
Di Giove nel sen
arciera vezzosa
ricorri amorosa.
To Jove's embrace
lovely archer
run lovingly
L4 - what is glowing and who lit that person up (look at the ending for a clue)? (JWB has "ignited" which helps us get to the implied passion)
L6 - small point, but render(e) seems incomplete, so I think that vani is more like a predicate adjective (Giove procura render i voti vani)
L8 - somehow qualche doesn't seem adequately rendered as "a little" - I don't know as there's any particular idiom - just a matter of context. JWB has "nothing but a lecher" Lucy?
L8 - lascivo again an adjective serving as a noun
JWB has Cintia (modern spelling). Lucy - please address diction.
Really good work here -- mostly just a matter of sorting out the big structure.
Then, immortal Jove,
Who should protect,
Pure in deed(s), the virginal manner,
Glowing to mortal light/eye,
You try to deflower
[The] chaste bodies, and to make empty the promises
Of pure hearts, to Cinthia her devoted ones?
You are so lascivious, and /you force
/nature, with magic verses, to obey you.
Dunque Giove immortale,
che protegger dovrebbe,
santo nell'opre, il virginal costume,
acceso a mortal lume,
di deflorar procura
i corpi casti, e render vani i voti
di puri cori, a Cintia sua devoti?
Tu sei qualche lascivo, e la natura
sforzi con carmi maghi ad ubbidirti.
Therefore immortal Giove,
who should protect,
holy in (his) endeavors, the tradition of virginity,
turned-on by (a) mortal eye,
attempts to deflower
chaste bodies, and nullify the vows
of pure hearts, (who are) devoted to your Cinzia?
You are some leacherous-one, and
you force / nature / to obey you with magic spells (idom).
CF - really superb
L4 - maybe consider turned=on by...
L7 - include sua
L2 - leaving you same note as I have Emily: Although I think she (JWB) is incorrect (because of the verb tense), rather than having Venere as the subject, JWB translates this as "You will never see me (as a) pregnant Venus, garlanded"....etc. One interesting takeaway from her translation, however, is all the fecund imagery of Venus. Lucy, can you weigh in on whether there's any argument for JWB's choice?
You might consider using a slash to reverse those two lines of English though.
L4 - good! just pick :-) You could consider adding "(its)" for clarity
L5 - this che is an implied perche ("because," or simpler, "for")
Great start!
Adorned with myrtle garlands
Venus will never see me fertile.
Return, return this wave
To (its) native cavern?,
Because I do not wish to drink
from your miracles.
Lustful sorcerer,
Remain with your wonders. Farewell my fair (one).
I want to die a chaste maiden.
(A) room, and abode
For Cupid
In my breast never will I make.
I want to die a chaste maiden.
Shoot, Love, let fly if you can
All the weapons
To wound me,
Because in the end I will be victorious.
I want to die a chaste maiden.
Girlandata de' mirti
Venere mai non mi vedrà feconda.
Torna, torna quell'onda
nello speco natio,
che bever non vogl'io
de' miracoli tuoi.
Libidinoso mago,
resta co' tuoi stupori. Addio mio vago.
Verginella io morir vo'.
Stanza, e nido
per Cupido
del mio petto mai farò.
Verginella io morir vo'.
Scocchi Amor, scocchi se può
tutte l'armi
per piagarmi,
ch'alla fine il vincerò.
Verginella io morir vo'.
Adorned with garlands of myrtle
Venus never will see me fecund.
Return, return that surge
into (its) native cavern,
for I don't want to drink
of your miracles.
Lustful magician,
Stay with your wonders. Farewell, my handsome-one.
I wish to die a virgin.
Room and nest
I'll never make in my breast/
for Cupid.
I wish to die a virgin.
May love shoot, shoot if he can
all (his) arms
to wound me
for in the end I'll conquer him.
I wish to die a virgin.
CF - Excellent!

L2 - Although I think she's incorrect (because of the verb tense), rather than having Venere as the subject, JWB translates this as "You will never see me (as a) pregnant Venus, garlanded"....etc. One interesting takeaway from her translation, however, is all the fecund imagery of Venus. Lucy, can you weigh in on whether there's any argument for JWB's choice?
Text reconciled to JWBScena terza
Giove, Mercurio.
How the cruel girl scorns
the attentions of the supreme God;
and my omnipotence is not enough
to render her loving,
For I had created the human sprit to be liberal.
You, eloquent Mercurio,
with sweet words,
persuade, soften (her heart), now go, now hasten
after the fugitive
and deprive her (idiom)
of the chaste her pride, console your master.
Come scherne, acerbetta,
le lusinghe costei del dio sovrano;
e di renderla amante
l'onnipotenza mia non è bastante,
che libero creai l'animo umano.
Tu, Mercurio facondo,
che con detti melati
persuadi, ammollisci, or corri, or vola
dietro alla fuggitiva
e rendendola priva
del cast'orgoglio, il tuo signor consola.
How the cruel girl mocks,
the desires of sovereign God;
and to make her lover
(my) omnipotence is not enough,
Why I created human spirit to be free. (?)
You, eloquent Mercurio,
with sweet (literally honeyed?) words
persuade, soften (ammollitiare?) her, now run (go), now fly
after the fugitive
and rendering her
the chaste pride, (you WILL, damnit) comfort your master.
L1 - scherne - scorns, mocks, derides
L3 - and in order to render HER loving
L4 - che here is a perche kind of che
L5 - sweet is fine, or "honeyed"
What is "ammollitaire"?
L10 - rendere privo/a is to deprive someone, and this is a participle, so "and rendering her deprived of (her) chase pride, console (imperative) your master"
"vi vogliono" expression = "you need" - I think it's kind of polite in a way. Something like, "you're going to want to try something different here, sir."
L5-6 - Very 'maxim'-like, which you've captured; let's get the passive voice in there though.... something like, "A preyed-upon woman is made more stubborn" perhaps?
(edited TS)
or.....the preyed-upon woman remains ever stubborn (idiom) More loosely, "the more hit on a woman, the more stubborn she'll stay" - play it cool, Jove!
More than such sweet words
you will want to dilute
the rigid stubborness/
of this proud one. The more preyed-upon a lady (is)
the more stubborn she remains.
Altro, che parolette
vi vogliono a stemprare
di queste superbette
pertinaci il rigor. Donna pregata
più si rende ostinata.
More than sweet words
They want you to melt
To(Of) these proud girls
Tenaciously and rigorously the woman begged
Only becoming more Stubborn

L2 - vi vogliono = are needed/wanted/necessary
L3 - yes, "of"
L4 - don't ignore the period! SALAD: Altro che parolette vi vogliono a stemprare il pertinaci rigor di queste superbette
CFWell, What must I do /to comfort the anguish of love?GIOVE
Dunque, che far degg'io
per dar ristoro all'amoroso affanno.
Well then, what shall I do
to restore her loving affection?
L2 - sense is fine, but more literally/syntactically clear....?
CFTake my advice: use deceit. MERCURIOSeguire il mio consiglio: usar l'inganno.Follow my advice: use deceptionCF
CFAnd how?GIOVEE come?And how?CF
L1 - more accurately "of" (instead of as), then you can lose the "her"
(you just never know with these Romans!-edited TS) Ha! CF
As your daughter,
the goddess of the forest, take her image,
and under this appearance,
(as a) clever seducer,
enjoy (your) lover.
The prude she-Hermit/
won't escape the loving embraces,
of the counterfeit goddess.
Della figlia,
della silvestre dea prendi l'imago,
e, sotto quel sembiante,
ingegnoso amator,
godi l'amante.
Non fuggirà gl'amplessi
la rigida romita
della diva mentita.
as for the daughter
Assume the image of the forest goddess
And, under this disguise,
Clever lover,
Enjoy your beloved.
She will not escape from your embraces
The rigid girl
of the false goddess
L1 - whose daughter? (a little mythology knowledge required here)
L6 - whose embraces?
Great start!
SALAD: Tu sei (1) ben sagace artefice delle frodi (e) (2) raro inventor.You are quite smart artificer
of the fraud, (and) rare inventor.
Dear Mercurio, your remedy will be able to
bless the god of gods in love.
Ben delle frodi sei
artefice sagace, inventor raro.
Potrà il rimedio tuo, Mercurio caro,
felicitar gl'amori al dio de' dèi.
You are a very smart
tradesman of deceit, (and) rare inventor.
The remedy you (WILL, charmingly so) make, dear Mercurio,
makes happy the gods of love.
L2 - artefice (Florio) tradesman
L3 - potra/potere? (big verb string to sort out here
L1 - il passo = your step
L2 - will come here
L4 - ogn'altra: every other
Don't stray from the spring's pathway,
because this coy woman will be here
to quench her burning thirst by this stone;
make sure, that each and every water source, stay hidden.
Non s'allontani dalla fonte il passo,
ch'ancora qui verrà questa ritrosa
la sete ardente ad ammorzare al sasso;
fa, ch'ogn'altr'onda, anco dimori ascosa.
Don't distance yourself from the spring in your step
She will come here shyly,
For the thirst she is burning to quench, by this rock ;
Do as every other source, remains hidden
L1 - il passo is the object of s'allontani
("don't distance your step from the spring")
L2 - this is a perche kind of ch(e) (try "for") and it starts that whole two-line clause: (per)che questa ritrosa verra qui ad ammorzare l'ardente sete al sasso
L4 - just "remain" (imperative)
L2 - dolcezze - what is is you're trying to hide from Giuno?
L3 - two verbs: what is the subject of fian note, and what is the verb mood of garrisca?
L4 - che?
Hidden in fictitious form
Giuno will never know my pleasures
and if she recognizes them (and), scream in argument
I will never leave the sweet content
for hundred of Giunos, ever.
Chiuso in forme mentite
Giuno non saprà già le mie dolcezze,
e se note le fian, garrisca in lite,
che sì dolce contento
non lascerei per cento Giune, e cento.
Concealed in deceitful (literally lying) form
Giuno will not know my desires (pleasures?),
and if she knows the deceit, (and) screams in contention,
for sweet contentment
I'll not release for hundreds (and hundreds) of Giunos.
L2 - I think "pleasures" is better, or even "dalliances" if you want to get right down to it.
L3 - le? fian ( = fiano - siano) ?
L4 - again, this is a perche kind of che - probably most easily translated as "for" or "because"
Text reconciled to JWBScena quarta
L1 - mortali is an adjective
L2 - lascivi is a plural adjective, masquerading as a noun
L2 - partiro is passato remoto - BUT it is a fairly common shortened version, the regular version of which would be partirono
L5 - contorno - the surroundings, or countryside - used several times in this libretto
L6 - SALAD: ed io... torno il pie qui a ber l'acque scaturite
L7 - sorsi (sorso)?
Oh dear, I had read that as "scorsi", and was so so confused by my own translation (MNM)
Start with that much and I'll return!
Be they mortal, or divinity
The lecherous ones departed;
And I, who turn about in vain
thirsty, panting
return (my) foot here to the countryside/
to drink the gushing waters.
Oh, how a few sips
of the sweet and cool liquid,
Extinguished in me with passion
This thirsty desire,
That wanted to dry up the waters of a river.
Of this melted frost
washed (idiom) (my) face
and in his arms immersed
Cooled my boiling blood.
Thanks to the fountain, (of) every languor I (am) healed
Sien mortali, o divini,
i lascivi partiro;
ed io, ch'indarno aggiro
sitibonda, anelante
il piè per il contorno
a ber qui l'acque scaturite or torno.
oh, come pochi sorsi
del dolce, e freddo umore,
mi estinse con l'ardore
quell'ingordo desio,
che volea disseccar l'onde d'un rio.
Di questo ghiaccio sciolto
fatto lavacro al volto,
e in lui le braccia immerse,
i bollori del sangue raffreddai.
Grazie alla fonte, ogni languor sanai.
Be they mortal or divine
the lascivious-ones have left;
and I, whose feet wander in vain
around the outskirts (idiom)/
thirsty, gasping,
to drink here the gushing water: and now I return;
oh, how a few sips
of the sweet and cold liquid,
extinguish in me, along with the heat,
this avid desire,
that wanted to dry up the flow of a river.
With this melted ice
(having) washed (idiom) my face,
and (having) immersed my arms in it,
I cooled off the boiling of (my) blood.
Thanks to the spring, I cured all that ailed me. (idiom)
L2 - yes; passato remoto in the shortened archaic form!
L5 - "in circles" is probably ok, but I'm wondering if there might be a sense of wandering the borders/edges/outskirts/countryside? Lucy?
Non è maggior piacere
che seguendo le fere
fuggir dell'uomo i lusinghieri inviti.
Tirannie de' mariti
son troppo gravi, e troppo il giogo amaro.
Viver in libertade è il dolce, il caro.

Di fiori ricamato
morbido letto ho il prato,
mi è grato cibo il mel, bevanda il fiume.
Dalle canore piume
a formar melodie tra i boschi imparo.
Viver in libertade è il dolce, il caro.
There's no greater pleasure,
than, chasing after wild beasts,
to flee the flattering invitations of men.
(The) tyrannies of husbands
are too arduous, and too bitter is their yoke.
To live free is a sweet thing, a dear thing (idiom).

I have (for) a soft bed the field/
embroidered with flowers.
I welcome (for) food the honey, drinking the stream.
From the feathered songbird
I learn to form melodies in the woods.
To live free is a sweet thing, a dear thing.
L3 or "fleeing"
Text reconciled to JWBScena quinta
Giove trasformato in Diana, Mercurio, Calisto.
Chris & Brittany Worksheet
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