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Decker ShadoThe Funhouse Massacre Movie Review
Clown horror with some actual production value behind it, The Funhouse Massacre brings the likes of Clint Howard and Robert Englund to the table! Though the main events really don't focus on either of them for all that long. Heck, Clint is around for more of the movie and yet somehow gets even less screentime. Still, horror comedy with clowns! That's gotta have some good points to it, right?
Decker ShadoClown (2019) Movie Review
The Asylum strikes again, this time bringing us a movie that just so happens to be about a Clown, and just so happens to be named differently enough from the much better movie "Clown" and also just so happened to come out just before IT: Chapter Two. What a coincidence. Also, it just so happens to be terrible.
Decker ShadoBlood Harvest Movie Review
THE MARCH OF THE CLOWNS 2022 kicks off with a cult classic slasher from 1987, Blood Harvest! Tiny Tim stars as Mervo the Magnificent, a clown who happens to be around while a horror movie occurs. People are missing, the final girl is being tormented, and the director is trying to figure out how many scenes he can get her in with as little attire as possible. But hey! There's a clown in a few scenes, so it still counts.
Decker ShadoGalaxy of Terror Movie Review
A cult classic from 1981, Galaxy of Terror was a Roger Corman production attempting to rip off Alien but for a fraction of the cost. Not only that, but while you have your tiny sampling of the obligatory big but not too big stars to attract an audience, quite a few much bigger names make up the rest of the cast. Just.. you know, back when they were doing Galaxy of Terror instead of the thing that they actually became world famous for, soon after. ANYWAY! It's about a planet where people get offed. Also, there is this worm thing...
Decker ShadoApe vs Monster Movie Review
Back by... strangely popular demand, it's an Asylum review! You wouldn't think that Godzilla and King Kong could return to the big screen without the gigantic kings of mockbusters capitalizing on that, would ya? In that spirit, this week's review is Ape vs Monster, a movie about an ape that becomes giant, and must do battle with a monster which is also giant. However, at 90 minutes, the ape vs monster battle accounts for maybe one of those... so... hope you really like human characters, and don't care much about variety of sets, or quality of acting for that matter.
Decker ShadoGodzilla King of the Monsters Movie Review
Or as I like to call it: King Ghidora vs The Incredible Mark, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the second Godzilla movie in Legendary's American-made series. This time around, TONS of monsters have popped up EVERYWHERE! Even worse.. the big three-headed rival of Godzilla makes his hundred million dollar CGI debut, King Ghidorah. Ne'er-do-wells, professional monster organizations and worldwide military groups seem out of their element with such a thing going on. But Mark is here, to show up absolutely everyone, and masterfully thwart the kaiju menace almost singlehandedly!
Decker ShadoGuns Akimbo Movie Review
While the moniker of "Harry Potter" seemed to be destine to be what Daniel Radcliffe would be known for forever, he's been hard at work acting in some of the most off the wall stuff you've ever seen. Such as this week's review of Jason Howden's "Guns Akimbo" where Daniel plays Miles Harris, a geeky nobody with an averagely terrible life that becomes INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE when he wakes up one day with guns bolted to his hands! The reasons are just as crazy as you'd imagine, and the results even more so.
Decker ShadoThe Matrix Revolutions Movie Review
The third, and for a good long while there final film in the Matrix series, Revolutions is part 2 of Reloaded, effectively finishing off the 4 and a half hour sequel of the first. The war for Zion is coming to a head, The Matrix is tearing itself apart, and the oracle got a spiffy new outfit! If your like your Matrix movies to spend time in The Matrix however.... might be disappointed here.
Decker ShadoDeath Race Beyond Anarchy Movie Review
It seems I was wrong in the Death Race 2050 review to call the reboot series a "trilogy." While it has been called such and marketed as such for quite some time, in 2018 a 4th movie in that timeline was released. Death Race: Beyond Anarchy. This time around, the prison is less a prison and more a dystopian wasteland, that happens to be a prison. There's a death race going on, and people are interested in winning it for one reason or another. Most importantly however, is that I had to be careful to edit around a TON of skin.
Decker ShadoScream 2 Movie Review
Scream 2, filmed under the title "Scream: The Sequel" is, wouldn't you know it? The sequel to Scream! As such, it's more of the same, people around Sidney Prescott begin dropping like flies due to the extracurricular activities of a ghostfaced masked killer... but this is also directed by Wes Craven, so that honestly goofy setup somehow is played completely straight, and doesn't skimp on the horror. But the desire to keep the audience guessing about the killer... well... might lead to some odd direction at times.
Decker ShadoDeath Race 2050 Movie Review
For a movie series about the Death Race coming to an end, there sure are a lot of Death Races. Death Race 2050 is Roger Corman taking the reigns back after the late 2000s early 2010s Death Race trilogy with Jason Statham. While fine movies in their own right, they really had next to nothing to do with the original 70s B-movie Death Race 2000. So Corman steers this out of control flaming wreck back on course, with a three day race spanning a dystopian America, where pedestrian kills rack up points for over the top personalities! But this time, with a 50 at the end of the title.
Decker ShadoThe Matrix Reloaded Movie Review
The highly anticipated sequel to the smash hit The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded... didn't quite live up to the hype, you could say. That's not to say they didn't give it their all, on a technical level the sequel is far larger, more expensive and the story is far grander in scale. The problem is that in all that grandeur, the movie kinda forgets to make sure the basics are taken care of.
Decker ShadoScream Movie Review
The 1996 classic, Scream was a more satirical take on the even more classic slasher movie genre. Despite this, Slasher veteran, horror god and legendary director Wes Craven was brought on to direct. This results in a self aware slasher, poking fun at the tropes the entire running time, while also delivering some legit scares and tension when the body count rises.
Decker ShadoSpecies III Movie Review
Finally, after years and years of not having quite enough time to get to this, I have no time for anything but got to this anyway! Species III, the 3rd movie in the Species franchise. What's new this time? We went straight to DVD, have next to no budget, and best of all it's now all centered around a random college campus! That keeps the cast nice and young, so it's more relatable, right? ....right?
Decker ShadoThe Matrix Movie Review
A movie with such a cultural impact, you would be hard pressed to find someone who isn't annoyed with at least one of the things this particular film has brought us. Be it the red pill blue pill dichotomy, bullet time or a generation of teenagers who espouse philosophical statements while having absolutely no idea what any of them mean. Despite this, from the very same group of people you would have a hard time finding anyone who honestly disliked the movie itself... so what is The Matrix? That is the question now, innit?
Decker ShadoDeep Blue Sea 3 Movie Review
After Deep Blue Sea taught us that even the smartest shark flick can be incredibly dumb, Deep Blue Sea 2 came... decades later, to show us that no, not all good things come to those who wait. That did open the door for even more sequels though, which we have with 2020's Deep Blue Sea 3. A tale of... sharks. They're kinda smart, and they eat people. Why do I feel like we've seen this all before?
Decker ShadoVampire's Kiss Movie Review
THE SUMMER OF NICOLAS CAGE concludes, with Vampire's Kiss! A rather crazy little romp through New York in the 80s, when Nick Cage was younger and not quite so well known. However, most everyone on the planet now knows his face, and it's from screenshots of this movie even if they don't realize it. A chance encounter with a vampire leads Nicolas Cage into a spiral of insanity and depravity... or he's just insane and depraved, and the odd part is his sudden obsession with vampires?
Decker ShadoColor out of Space Movie Review
The 2019 film adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's "The Colour out of Space" starring Nicolas Cage, Color out of Space is about.. a.. color. Weird color, never seen any color like it before. That's because this color just so happens to have come out of space. In classic Lovecraft fashion, that means it leads to horror, insanity and a whole bunch of stuff that's considerably easier to pen down in an open ended fashion for a book than try to cram into a feature film.
Decker ShadoMandy Movie Review
I'm supposed to type something out here to let you all know exactly what kind of a movie Mandy is. The problem with that, is in order for me to be able to accomplish this task, I first have to know what kind of a movie Mandy is. After several times watching it, I'm still not sure. However! It sure has a lot of establishing shots, and slow artistic uses of angles and zoom! And a body count, so that helps.
Decker ShadoLord of War Movie Review
The 2005 quasi-biopic about the "merchant of death" Lord of War stars Nicolas Cage as Yuri Orlov, based not so much on the physicist Yuri Orlov, but more on the gun runner Viktor Bout. He plays.. well, a gun runner, running guns and getting all them moneys, and we see the toll it has on him, his family, and lest we forget the world at large...
Decker ShadoThe Wicker Man Movie Review
Famously terrible, The Wicker Man stars Nicolas Cage as Edward Malus, a cop tasked with finding a missing girl. Not by his station, but a random letter. Don't worry, compared to his adventure ahead, that's the part of the story that actually makes the most sense.
Decker ShadoCon Air Movie Review
One of the so-called "holy trinity" of Nicolas Cage action flicks, Con Air is the story of a maximum security prison airplane being hijacked, and our con with a heart of gold, Nicolas Cage, doing everything in his power to make sure the good guys win and the bad guys EXPLODE! Preferably after he's already off the plane, and a safe distance away.
Decker ShadoGhost Rider Movie Review
THE SUMMER OF NICOLAS CAGE continues with Ghost Rider, a 2007 comic book film starring.. well, Nicolas Cage as... um.. Ghost Rider. Well, there's deals with the devil, the classic comic book hero's love interest rocky relationship, and the world hanging in the balance, but honestly I'm just here for the flaming skeletons and motorcycles.
Decker ShadoSnake Eyes Movie Review
THE SUMMER OF NICOLAS CAGE continues with a little whodunit cop drama con... wait, YouTube doesn't like that word... ummm.. spooky coincidences flick? Well, Cage stars as Rick Santoro, who behaves as you would expect a cop played by Nicolas Cage to do.
Decker ShadoWilly's Wonderland Movie Review
The latest offering from Nicolas Cage.. unless he's even more prolific than I realize, is a take on what I guess you could call the "animatronic attractions come to life and everything is horror" genre. It ain't Five Nights at Freddy's, but it does actually take advantage of that fact and form it's own identity in the process.
Decker ShadoGod Raiga VS King Ohga Movie Review
The latest kaiju flick from the mind of Shinpei Hayashia, Raiga vs Ohga The War of the Monsters is the newest entry in the Reigo/Raiga saga. Which I guess is the Ohga saga now as well, and the bone fish are back and called something else yet again... but honestly, I'm impressed I was able to figure out that much of the movie. Most of it is just explosions and fire and lasers and special effects filling the screen. Oh so many special effects....
Decker ShadoCandyman 3 Day of the Dead Movie Review
The third, and final entry in the Candyman franchise (at least for the next 22 years) Candyman 3: Day of the Dead is the story about when Candyman came back for the 3rd time, this time on the Day of the Dead. A relatively by the numbers straight to video sequel, Day of the Dead is... lacking, to say the least.
Decker ShadoRaiga God of the Monsters Movie Review
When you just have to stomp a city to the ground, but only have about $25 and some leftover pocky to do it with, you make due! Reigo: King of the Sea Monsters did the best it could with what little they had to work with. Raiga: God of the Monsters, follows up that story by changing tone drastically and proudly declaring that if people are gonna laugh at the movie anyway, they might as well make it a comedy.
Decker ShadoTremors Shrieker Island Movie Review
The seventh movie in the Tremors franchise, and as such the seventh entry starring Michael Gross! Gross returns as Burt Gummer, whisked out of retirement to face Graboids, yet again. Possibly the "tropical paradise" angle was yet another means to convince the actor to come back once more.
Decker Shado
Mr. Jingles, ClownTown, and Jingles the Clown Movie Review
The March of the Clowns concludes! I sure had a lot planned for that.. and am considerably late, sooooo let's get it done as quickly as possible with a special TRIPLE REVIEW! Looking at Mr. Jingles, Jingles the Clown and ClownTown. Mr. Jingles is about a killer clown. Jingles the Clown, much the same. ClownTown is about an entire CITY full of them! And I still can't make sense of any of it!
Decker ShadoTerrifier Movie Review
Art the Clown is back! Or, is... in his first outing! Depends on where you put the previous Damien Leone shorts in the hierarchy, but Terrifier is a full 90 minute romp where Art the Clown does what Art the Clown does best. No, that is not explain his motives in the slightest.
Decker ShadoAll Hallows' Eve Movie Review
Before Terrifier, there was Terrifier. That is, a short, by Damien Leone starring Art the Clown. Of course, you can't release a 90 minute short, that's a whole dang movie. Thus, we have a HORROR ANTHOLOGY today! All stories by Damien Leone, and all involving Art the Clown! ...depending on how loosely you define that.
Decker ShadoDrive Thru Movie Review
The March of the Clowns is finally back! Starting off this year with Drive Thru, a... you guessed it... CLOWN themed horror movie from 2007. This one's a fast food chain mascot. However, regrettably little of the running time even takes place at said restaurant, let alone specifically in the drive thru...
Decker ShadoThey Live Movie Review
CJohn Carpenter's film adaptation of Eight O' Clock in the Morning, They Live sees professional wrestler Roddy Piper discovering that the world he thought he knew was a lie, and that a secret society controls all the wo
Decker ShadoCandyman Farewell to the Flesh Movie Review
The follow up to Clive Barker's "Candyman" Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh digs deep into the history of the haunt... by completely uprooting it and changing the origin location almost entirely. Because y'all know I love me some retroactive continuity...
Decker ShadoTammy and the T-Rex Movie Review
Dinocember continues! ...Barely! With Tammy and the T-Rex, or as it is known in this print "Tanny and the Teenage T-Rex." I have to say, I like the new name better. Rolls off the tongue, and at no point in the movie does it sound like they call Denise Richards "Tanny." She plays Tammy, and her boyfriend's brain gets put into a mechanical T-Rex before he goes on a rampage. Fun!
Decker ShadoThe Velocipastor Movie Review
Dinocember 2020 starts proper with this "classic" from 2018: The Velocipastor! Ever wondered what happens when you cross a pastor with a velociraptor? Probably something considerably more serious than we see here, but if you want a silly low budget flick with dinosaurs, deities and death... well you're in the right place.
Decker ShadoReigo King of the Sea Monsters Movie Review
So it's been years since Gamerathon 3 and I've still yet to get a chance to watch Gamera 4: The Truth. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean I can't find more kaiju flicks directed by the man who created it! That brings us to Reigo: King of the Sea Monsters. It's a big monster from the deep sea, and it likes to smash things. That's.. pretty much it.
Decker ShadoCandyman Movie Review
Just when you thought it was safe to stare into a mirror with the lights off and say some spooky ghost's name five times! ...wait a minute... okay, bad example, but Candyman is still an interesting example of the urban legend genre, in that it is a recognizable tale while at the same time an original one. Also, personally I find Candyman less scary and more... cuddly? Those baby bees are so cute!
Decker ShadoSaban's Power Rangers Movie Review
The dark and gritty reimagining of the bright and colorful campy as ever Saturday morning show, Power Rangers (aka Saban's Power Rangers) wondered hey what if we did THAT.. but horrifying? Also, with those real world drama points that are all the rage these days. They wondered that for like 90 minutes before the movie even kicks off....
Decker ShadoRobot Overlords Movie Review
A relatively recent Science Fiction movie about that time that the Earth was taken over by an occupying force of sentient robots. Unfortunately for them though, they didn't take into account just how adept human teenagers are at wrecking technology.
Decker ShadoJigsaw Movie Review
The final movie in the Saw franchise... for the time being anyway... Jigsaw saw the return of the Jigsaw killer 11 years after his death. OR DID IT?! As you should know by now, the answer to that question comes within the last 5 minutes of the film, because it's oh so much fun to invest so much time in a franchise just for it to save it all up for some big "twist" right at the end that makes most of the showcase mere fluff because of some arbitrary new lore that gets shoehorned in at the last second. FUN!
Decker ShadoSaw V Movie Review
Well, now that Saw IV has shown us that Hoffman is not only the new Jigsaw but has in fact been WORKING FOR JIGSAW THE ENTIRE TIIIIIME... that's gonna require some splainin. Also, there's a fresh batch of meat for the grinder because... well, it is a Saw movie.
Decker ShadoSaw: The Final Chapter Movie Review
How do you follow up the big twist that the big bad was so bad that the previous bad had a contingency plan that they were to be removed that they deftly thwarted? Why a two part sendoff with even more backstory and even more twists! What do you do when said movie under-performed at the box office though? Smush the plot into a single movie, call it a day and hope no one notices if you throw enough crap into their faces... IN 3D!
Decker ShadoSaw VI Movie Review
Saw VI is about INSURANCE! There's also twists and retcons along the way, but man did the writer have a hate boner for allstate...
Decker ShadoSaw IV Movie Review
Considering most of the important characters were taken out last time, that begs the question... where does Saw IV go from there? You'd think maybe the sequel bait they ended Saw III with, but... nope! It goes... EVERYWHERE.
Decker ShadoSaw III Movie Review
When you just can't seem to get people to appreciate life because they keep dying when you do your little games... well, why not set up a game for someone where no matter how badly they do they somehow still survive? ...because that's massively frustrating to the viewer? ...oh, whoops...
Decker ShadoSaw II Movie Review
The follow up to "the chopped off foot seen round the world" Saw II was also not originally even a Saw movie, at least in it's earliest form. The script was reworked to fit the mythos far better than how a lot of franchises have done it, and it's got it's twists as well. But... does it have enough of them?
Decker ShadoSaw Movie Review
The first of a long series of movies, Saw was actually the first major film project of two friends fresh out of film school. Understanding they have a very small budget, the movie stands as a great example of how to do a lot with a little.. though sometimes, they use that little quite a lot...
Decker Shado3 From Hell Movie Review
The long awaited, much requested sequel to Rob Zombie's most acclaimed film The Devil's Rejects, 3 From Hell.. well.. it came out? Really didn't have the impact that The Devil's Rejects did. There are reasons for that, though a lot of those reasons couldn't be helped. Nevertheless exactly how did the movie hold up on it's own merits?
Decker ShadoThe Wizard of Speed and Time Movie Review
In 1979, Mike Jittlov made a mark on Hollywood with the creation of the special effects short "The Wizard of Speed and Time" - and over the following decade, turned that ordeal into a movie! It has become somewhat of a cult classic, but emphasis on the cult because I'm sure most of you out there haven't even heard about this one... which is a shame.
Decker ShadoTurbo: A Power Rangers Movie Movie Review
Why am I doing this? Everyone already knows I'm not a huge Power Rangers fan, I don't really get something out of hating the Power Rangers, so why, Creepy? Why do you torment me with these crossovers? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! Because I certainly wasn't.
Decker ShadoJoker Movie Review
One of the biggest hits of 2019, Joker broke records for box office earnings on comparatively small budgets. It also did not result in any kind of.. well, things I simply cannot describe in the description without risking a yellow dollar sign on the whole video, despite what many articles assumed. This is neither here nor there though, the important question is... is the movie really that amazing?
Decker ShadoShakes the Clown Movie Review
A Bobcat Goldthwait comedy... bet'cha didn't see that one coming, eh? Shakes the Clown is written, directed by and starring Bobcat as Shakes, a clown with a drinking problem. However, his problems soon begin to multiply, and only a high speed chase and beating the crap out of some other clowns can result in him getting a fabulous career! No.. no, that's not a joke.
Decker ShadoIT Chapter Two Movie Review
The second half of the theatrical adaptation of Stephen King's horror novel IT, It: Chapter Two picks up 27 years after the last movie left off. That one focused on the loser's club adventures as kids, and this one... well it focuses mostly on them as kids again, but they do have adult versions that do things! ...sometimes?
Decker ShadoStitches Movie Review
Starring comedian Ross Noble as Stitches the clown, Stitches is the tale of a clown who has a fateful final birthday party show he never got to finish... until six years later, when he comes back from the grave to do so in ways even harder to clean up than overzealous application of cake and gelatin!
Decker ShadoSpecies II Movie Review
The last movie ended on sequel bait, so where does the sequel start off? A different planet without even the slightest acknowledgement of said sequel bait. Well that's just lovely... This time, the alien comes from Mars, it infects people, and it's vulnerability is dependent on the scene we're in.
Decker ShadoBad CGI Sharks Movie Review
The brainchild of MaJaMa, Bad CGI Sharks follows the tale of two brothers who dream of making their own shark movie! That.. kind of sounds like exactly what they were doing, but things take a turn for the "reasons to watch this movie" when the sharks in question become REALITY and begin hunting down victims in LA! Considering the budget, that's almost exclusively these two and their close friends, so best to do something about that shark problem, eh?
Decker ShadoJurassic World: Fallen Kingdom Movie Review
After two less than stellar sequels, things seemed to be on the right track with Jurassic World bringing the Jurassic Park franchise back to it's roots. A big blockbuster dinosaur flick that did so well, another entry in the series seemed obvious. Indeed, this movie made gangbusters at the box office, bringing in over 1 billion dollars on a 170 million dollar budget. However... that doesn't mean that the movie itself was THAT fantastic...
Decker ShadoHouse III Movie Review
Possibly the hardest movie in the House series to find, House III, known in the US as "The Horror Show" stars Lance Henriksen as Lucas McCarthy, a cop who has put away one of the worst criminals in history. Sentenced to death via the electric chair, the baddie ends up coming back around for seconds because as it turns out THE GREATEST EVIL OF ALL IS PSEUDOSCIENCE! BWAHAHAHA!
Decker ShadoHouse IV Movie Review
The fourth and final film in the franchise, House IV went direct to video way back in 1992. William Katt returns as Roger Cobb, and it's kind of hard to say why because this still has next to nothing to do with the original movie.
Decker ShadoThe Devil's Rejects Movie Review
The follow-up to House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects is Rob Zombie's second stab at the horror genre. It's considered by many to be a depraved, insanely grim tale only the most messed up people could enjoy. Others say it's one of Zombie's best works. Why don't we have both?
Decker ShadoSplit Movie Review
Building on the M. Night Shyamalan cinematic universe, Split introduces us to Kevin Wendell Crumb. He suffers from DID, but not just the movie style multiple personality silliness. This is going into the realm of superhumans, so when James McAvoy jumps from personality to personality and goes on and on about "the beast" and how it will do oh so much damage... yeah.. things get a bit more complex than you usual kidnapped horror...
Decker ShadoPterodactyl Movie Review
Another made for TV SyFy movie, Pterodactyl first terrorized the world in 2005, with the tale of how paleontologists have no idea what is or is not a dinosaur, or that maybe you shouldn't be poking around certain areas of the world while there are bad dudes about. Luckily, one of them has a military background which is far more useful than the "scholars" in this situation...
Decker ShadoThe Eden Formula Movie Review
The 5th movie in the Carnosaur franchise, The Eden Formula tells the tale of a super special medical breakthrough able to do miracles! Miracles such as bringing dinosaurs back to life. Amazing how we always land on that space... but neer-do-wells intend on STEALING THE FORMULA! For... reasons!
Decker ShadoMighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie Movie Review
Released in 1995, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie is a movie starring the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. It's notable as being possibly the first instance of said rangers using only original material, and not writing stories around fight scenes from the Super Sentai series. Despite this... that somehow doesn't make it any more coherent...
Decker ShadoThe Bye Bye Man Movie Review
Psychological supernatural horror? Well why didn't you say so! The Bye Bye Man is a 2017 flick about a mysterious evil that spreads... through people knowing about it! So it's kind of like "you just lost the game" except with death.
Decker ShadoPokémon: Detective Pikachu Movie Review
LIVING LIFE ON THE EDGE! Seriously, reviewing a kid's movie in a video intended for adults right now is the YouTuber equivalent of flossing with electrical wire. Either way, today's review is Pokémon: Detective Pikachu. It's a mystery flick (obviously) that follows the adventures of a pikachu (of course) who is a detective (could have guessed) and can talk. That's not really the twist though, it's more that he's voiced by Ryan Réynolds.
Decker ShadoThe Shining Movie Review
Stanley Kubrick's 1980 film adaptation of the Stephen King novel of the same name, The Shining follows the Torrance family as they move in to the Overlook Hotel for Jack's new job as caretaker! However, a classic tale of cabin fever runs into trouble as it finds itself a Stephen King story, and thus the hotel has a dark secret past, the hauntings slowly drive Jack insane... and of course, the kid is psychic.
Decker ShadoHouse of 1000 Corpses Movie Review
Rob Zombie's movie making career starts here, having both written and directed House of 1000 Corpses. It's got most of the trappings you expect out of a Rob Zombie film - unlikable characters, vulgarity for vulgarity's sake and his wife plays a starring role where she can show off lots of skin. However, underneath all that... is there a truly terrifying tale to tell? No, but some people like it anyway.
Decker ShadoCountdown Movie Review
A sort of urban legend style horror with a smattering of Final Destination, Countdown is the story of a smartphone app that... well, it only kills you if you don't die when you're supposed to, after downloading the app. It's a kind of roundabout way of going about it, but it can be creepy... and incredibly cheesy.
Decker ShadoThe Last House on the Left Movie Review
The 1972 grindhouse classic, The Last House on the Left was Wes Craven's film debut... and what a debut, billed as writer, director and editor of this movie. Teens run into the worst kind of trouble imaginable, but the bad guys have something even worse in store for them.. THE WRATH OF THE PARENTS!
Decker ShadoDoom Annihilation Movie Review
Ahh, movies based on video games. It's not like we haven't been down this road before, considering I've already reviewed the original Doom movie with The Rock in it. Doom: Annihilation seeks to... um, well can't really say they were actually trying to right the wrongs of the past. After all, this one's a straight-to-video romp through hell. Yaaaaaaay...
Decker ShadoBleeding Steel Movie Review
Set far, far into the future, in the mystical year of 2020 Bleeding Steel stars Jackie Chan as Lin Dong. His daughter has a metal heart, which is the heart of this heart-wrenching tale of.. well, bad guys own a spaceship and they want her blood. That's the best I got for ya.
Decker ShadoJOKER Movie Review
Out today in theaters nationwide, Joker is the tale of.. well, The Joker, and how he became The Joker. I think.. I dunno, it's kind of more slice-of-life than I was expecting, and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I was supposed to get out of it....<br><br>BTW - AMC has responded to the "no singles" viral picture and stated they have no such policy for screenings of Joker. I can't be certain that this is the be all end all for information regarding that particular picture that had made it's way around the internet, but that's their story and they're sticking to it.
Decker ShadoSuspiria Movie Review
A 1977 horror classic, Suspiria has been remembered for it's delve into psychological horror and the artistic vision of Dario Argentino. However, it has been like 4 decades... how well does it hold up today?
Decker ShadoThe Blair Witch Project Movie Review
The found footage film seen round the world, The Blair Witch Project had a massive marketing campaign that three filmmakers were lost in the woods in 1994, and their footage was found one year later... but they are still missing! Except they weren't, they were actors and very much still alive. But hey! Everyone thought it was real, so why let things like facts get in the way?
Decker ShadoCity Hunter Movie Review
The black sheep of the Jackie Chan filmography, City Hunter is a 1993 live action adaptation of an 80s maga/anime of the same name. Anime style antics are common throughout, and the concept of logic should be left far, far behind if you intend to take in this feature. Then again... when have I ever praised a movie for it's firm grip on reality?
Decker ShadoIT Chapter Two Movie Review
The follow-up to the 2017 IT movie, IT Chapter Two picks things up right where that one left off. However, if you think seeing the 1990 IT miniseries means you know what Chapter 2 entails... well, you are right for about 20 minutes of this 3 hour movie.
Decker ShadoRush Hour 3 Movie Review
The third and final movie of the Rush Hour Trilogy, Rush Hour 3 puts Jackie Chan opposite Chris Tucker in a buddy cop flick where two police officers from different sides of the globe must team up, and put cultural differences aside to work together and stamp out China's largest criminal organization! Now this might sound exactly like what we've already seen before.. but this time it's in FRANCE!
Decker ShadoThe Foreigner Movie Review
A much more recent Jackie Chan outing, The Foreigner (2017) puts the man opposite Pierce Brosnan in a drama thriller thingamajig involving the Metro police, the IRA and all kinds of factions. No, this is not the Steven Seagal movie of the same name. My nightmares about reviewing the same movie multiple times by accident shall live on for another day...
Decker ShadoShanghai Knights Movie Review
The sequel to Shanghai Noon, Shanhai Knights takes Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson and drops them in England in order to do the "because it's in England!" movie. That's... pretty much all you need to know. Ready for all the jokes you can handle about crazy British foodstuffs and historical events that.. more often then not are very VERY off of the date this film takes place in? ..why, what's wrong with you?
Decker ShadoBattle Creek Brawl Movie Review
Okay, this time for reals this is the first Jackie Chan movie made in America. For true! He even speaks english! And I feel very confused... but not as confused as America, as this crazy guy showed up and backflipped his way through the action scenes. It seems like he was the only one who knew he'd be doing that.
Decker ShadoThe Legend of Drunken Master Movie Review
Jackie Chan is BACK, as the Drunken Master in Drunken Master 2! Which is more a remake.. or a reboot.. or a retelling? It's the legend of Fei-Hung Wong, the Drunken Master, and aside from the characters at play and the drunken boxing there's little here that lines up with the original in terms of a remake or a sequel. Point is, Jackie Chan and ass kickery await!
Decker ShadoShanghai Noon Movie Review
It's a railroad, not a quarry.<br><br>ANYWAY, this week we're looking at Shanghai Noon, where Jackie Chan meets up with Owen Wilson for an adventure through the Wild West! And... that sentence alone scarily enough has told you absolutely everything you have to know about this movie. So why not watch a video review of it that's over 20 minutes long?
Decker ShadoRush Hour 2 Movie Review
The 2nd Rush Hour film, Rush Hour 2 is a story about Jackie Chan being a cop from Hong Kong, teaming up with Chris Tucker, a cop from LA, to stamp out a crime ring that starts in Hong Kong before crossing the Pacific into Los Angeles. It's different this time!
Decker ShadoGlass Movie Review
The third in a trilogy so long in the making.. well, it's honestly a miracle it was finished. Kevin from Split was supposed to be introduced in Unbreakable, the story goes, but keeping the story concise meant cuts had to be made. By the time Split was produced, it was under a different company. Somehow M. Night convinced them to work together and allow the third movie of the trilogy to be made. That's an even bigger twist than he could come up with himself, I'd say.
Decker ShadoSupercop Movie Review
A strange little release in America, Supercop is actually the 3rd film of the Police Story franchise, Police Story 3: Super Cop. Or it kind of is, as a few things are modified here and there, but all in all it's still a movie about Jackie Chan going to fantastic locations, meeting interesting people, and beating the crap out of them. Plus a helicopter to dangle from!
Decker ShadoRush Hour Movie Review
The Summer of Jackie Chan continues, with one of the most requested Jackie Chan movies to be reviewed. Rush Hour, from 1998, marks the first time Jackie Chan was tasked with speaking his mostly English lines completely clearly on set, as there would be no over-dubbing this time. Oddly enough, while tasked with being as coherent as possible, they teamed him up with Chris Tucker for this one.
Decker ShadoDrunken Master Movie Review
Not Jackie Chan's first movie, or his big break, but certainly one of the oldest films to star the man that people might actually know about if you bring it up! Drunken Master tells the story of a man named Fred, who disappoints his father, Robert... at least according to the dub... and must restore his honor with harsh martial arts training! In Drunken Boxing, so there's a silver lining at least.
Decker ShadoRumble in the Bronx Movie Review
Known as Hung fan kui for it's 1995 release in Hong Kong, the 96 release "Rumble in the Bronx" introduced the world to Jackie Chan! Again, as he was already pretty well known.. but still! When it comes to stunts and action choreography, it's hard to go wrong with Jackie Chan. Oh, and the movie's about something about New York and some diamond heist or something. I unno.
Decker ShadoBatman Ninja Movie Review
Another one of those collaborations between American and Japanese studios, Batman Ninja takes Batman and makes him a Ninja! It also takes Ninjas and turns them in to Batmen. Bats are also Ninjas that turn into Men. Okay, so it's time travel and Japan and probably even crazier than you can imagine.
Decker ShadoEvil Bong 420 Movie Review
Bringing the Evil Bong back since we last saw her in Gingerdead Man vs Evil Bong, Evil Bong 420 takes us to... a bowling alley! And stays there.. for the entire running time, which isn't all that long honestly. That's pretty much it... not exactly the most exciting flick I've seen in a while.
Decker ShadoI Spit on Your Grave (2010) Movie Review
A remake of the 1978 film that just to review, I felt the need to put a minute long warning in front of. This time taking place in 2010 and starring Sarah Butler, how does it continue the legacy of the original? Well, I may only have a 30 second warning this time, but there's still a warning...
Decker ShadoGodzilla VS Megaguirus Movie Review
The follow-up to Godzilla 2000, Godzilla VS Megaguirus doesn't have to spend as much time introducing the monster, so we can get right to the great big monster brawl! That is, if we didn't spend so much running time in this movie introducing Godzilla again.. and waiting for the big bad monster he has to brawl to grow up.
Decker ShadoI Spit on Your Grave Movie Review
A movie with the distinct "honor" of being banned from many, many countries. A video nasty, a film who's reputation as truly horrifying shocksploitation proceeds it so much you might not realize just what you're getting into. That's what happens when things are banned left and right for far less. Heed the warning in the opening well.
Decker ShadoHalloween (2018) Movie Review
Halloween is a sequel to Halloween, but not Halloween. As in the Halloween continuity, not the Halloween one. There's a lot of damn Halloween movies called Halloween... Either way, Jamie Lee Curtis returns as Laurie Strode to Haddonfield where we see absolutely nothing happened since the original movie. However, her plot sense tells her to spend 40 years preparing to take out Michael Myers!
Decker ShadoAtlantic Rim Movie Review
When there's a big movie coming out, you can count on The Asylum to throw together some shoestring budget cash grab to capitalize on the name alone, and release it around the same time! Atlantic Rim is one of those movies. It worked, if it weren't for the name and obvious rip off of Pacific Rim, who the hell would still be talking about it?
Decker ShadoThe Meg Movie Review
A contender for the title of longest time stuck in development hell, The Meg's movie rights were first sold before the first novel was even published. However, it would take 22 years and a joint project between Hollywood and China before the film would actually see the light of day. Jason Statham fights a giant shark. There's your plot.