SWC 2023

	A	B	C	D	F	G	H	J	K	L	N
1		Bay			bobandbill			gimmepie
2	jbsundown	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Apricorn
3		7	7	8	7	7	10	7	7	10	Gear
4		Comments			Comments			Comments
5		So I admit I had to read twice to understand this piece, and my first thought after finishing reading the second time was John having dementia. The mentions of John on the older side with the real chair and him not remembering the people that entered made me think that. If that's the case, it's a sad but also interesting take on the prompt.			This was a somewhat painful read - because of the topic and how well you approached it, I thought. I picked up on the topic at hand and thought this was a clever use of the prompt. Some reactions from characters did come across as samey however, so some more variety there would give this even more oomph. Some small typos here and there, e.g. capitalisation of 'lion', and punctuation within dialogue - but overall this read well. Nice job!			I realised pretty quickly what I was in for, and honestly that filled me with dread. Dementia is a scary thought and also some tough subject matter to deal with. I think you handled it well though. It was a good protrayal of something hard to understand, and you made it easy to get into the head of the man and experience his confusion. That being said, I do wish that the other charcaters had a bit more personality and that the prose had a bit more flow. Things started to feel a bit list-like in places and there was some clunky grammar. Overall though, a great idea and excellent use of the prompt.
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10	Aldo	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
11		8	7	9	8	6	10	7	4	10
12		Comments			Comments			Comments
13		I do like the breezy prose and description of the forest/island the narrator went through. I do want to give the people the narrator went to the business trip with a piece of my mind for leaving them lol. Yggdrasil fits that tree there. Yay for them not lost anymore at the end!			There was some nice imagery in this tale, and I quite liked your description. Good use of the prompt as well. I did feel that the story was a little unfinished in a sense... as it if was part of a larger tale, and that the ending was a tad abrupt for my liking. A few small typos here and there, but nothing major.			Lost and stranded, not an ideal situation to be in. One thing you very much succeeded in was piquing my curiosity. I was very eager to find out what happened to this poor guy. With the answer we got though, I was left wanting to know more and unsure why his memories were so foggy. Your spelling and grammar were decent, but your formatting made things tricky to read in places. Above all though, I found myself feeling like this was the opening chapter to a longer story instead of a one-shot. I'd love to see this refined and expanded upon at a later date.
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18	Groc	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
19		9	9	10	8	8	9	7	9	8
20		Comments			Comments			Comments
21		LOL at the stray thought of oranges at the beginning. The interactions between Bill and Sam is very sweet. Kinda felt bad for him when he mentioned being estranged from his daughter and not seen his grandaughter in a while. I like you used lost not just literal lost in forest but also kinda lost thinking about his family and life in general. I also think they would make good friends = )			I enjoyed this tale, and the main character's voice came across quite well - you captured his thoughts and mannerisms quite nicely. Characterisation was certainly the highlight here, and the description was good too. I felt the ending was a little unfinished however, personally. Little to point out grammar wise besides some tense confusion. Nice story!			This was a very creative and interesting take on the prompt. Arguably, it did stretch it a bit, but I very much liked the idea. I also quite liked the characters of Sam and Bill. While not very much happens in your story, it carries with it a very specific vibe and a lot of feeling. Your characters feel very alive and real and are easy to connect with. I'd love to see more of them in the future. Similarly, your spelling and grammar were mostly solid. My one big critique is that you need to be careful to keep your tenses consistent.
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26	Kitty	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
27		8	8	9	8	8	9	7	9	10
28		Comments			Comments			Comments
29		Oh wow, quite a dark take for the "lost" prompt there. The narrator's mental state being unstable the more the story goes is fascinating to read. I also like each section being letters from vision tests. There is a bit of vagueness there, like the mention of the narrator being bullied for liking something cringe and I'm curious what that is. Probably me reading Yandere trope fanfiction lately but I enjoyed it lol.			One of the darker takes of the prompt here. It was a well told tale and the main character came across clearly. I think the formatting was fairly nicely done as well, although I did feel the story was a touch on the predictable side (but maybe that was due to the prompt. Some things like 'police station' didn't need to be capitalised either.			This was fun. You did a great job of getting into the head of your character and then gradually revealing more and more of what her disturbed mental state was actually like. In the end, it was her desperation to keep what was precious to her that cost her everything and that's both poignant and a fitting way to use the prompt. The way you formatted things to relate to the theme of the story while also referencing her place of work was clever too. The only real issue was some clunky grammer in places.
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34	Aquacorde	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
35		10	9	10	10	8	8	10	9	8
36		Comments			Comments			Comments
37		I do enjoy the lovely description of the scenery here, which is the strongest point of this piece. The encounters between the hiker and girl was sweet, and their departure was bittersweet.			The description was the shining point of the story, and I also liked the hiker's character. I also didn't spot any issues with spelling nor grammar, so nicely done there. I do feel some other stories used the prompt a bit more inventively and closer than you had, and the ending scene felt a tad disjointed to me from the rest - i'm not quite sure on the conclusion to be drawn on from it, personally.			As always, a very well-written story. Certainly one that held me captivated. You did an excellent job with your imagery, conjuring a crystal clear picture of the setting in my mind. You did a similar job with the characters. Both the hiker and the girl felt well-developed for the short time we get to know them - often through the things left unsaid rather that written explicitly, which is not easy to do. I got a clear vibe from the story and could see what you were going for. That being said, to me, it did feel less like the characters were lost in some ways than actively fleeing.
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42	5qwerty	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
43		6	6	6	7	blueberries	5	5	1	4
44		Comments			Comments			Comments
45		Well, the island there sounds fun to check out haha. I assume gimmepie is the evil tv executive because he's referred to Mr. Pie lol. The randomness at the beginning was a bit hard for me to follow, but I enjoyed the banter between the narrator and Mr. Pie. Gave me a couple chuckles at the end.			This was one of the stories of the contest, certainly. I will grant you it was entertaining! But neither of us are yet bald, so you may need to fact check. And there was also a clear change from a descriptive start to a solely dialogue-filled, shouty, second half. Other prompts did use 'lost' a bit more... convincingly as well. But thanks for the laughs!			I truly never know what to expect with you. Sometimes you promise me memes and then deliver legitimately brilliant twists. Sometimes it's a lion all along, sometimes it's a time paradox... and sometimes it's Wipeya Booti and his Shitigami eyes. I can't tell if you're actually crazy or if the entire point of this extended meme was to give a meta response to the theme by confusing us. You've made scoring you rather difficult you mad man.
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50	Celeste	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
51		6	7	8	6	6	9	5	6	10
52		Comments			Comments			Comments
53		A brother trying to find his sister through an enchanted maze and going through trials is a cute idea and I enjoyed Oliver's interactions with Lia/Ophilia and Seraphim was fun. I l also like the rhyming of the riddles. So I skimmed through the extra document you included and I can tell from behind the scenes you brainstormed a lot on the characters and worldbuilding. The first half or so was hard to follow because it wasn't seperated into smaller paragraphs and the dialogue didn't have their own paragraphs. Also in some cases you switched from third person to first person. Despite those flaws, I still enjoyed this piece quite a bit.			This was an ambitious tale for a SWC and overall you did a good job with it. Coming up with those riddles in particular for the story was quite neat, and really added to the world building. Some plot aspects did seem to be thrown together quickly at the end - for instance, the reveal they were siblings seemed to not be well foreshadowed - I hadn't gotten the feeling of "but they did always feel a sense of familiarity and longing towards the other." as stated. There were also some typoes, and I would suggest paragraphing more often (moreso at the start). Nonetheless, this has a good basis for a solid tale, and was also a good use of the prompt			I think this was a really good concept for the prompt as it was both a cool idea to explore and addressed the prompt itself in several different ways - lost memories, lost people and being lost in this magic labyrinth. You mentioned some issues withthe pacing though and I am inclined to agree. This was a story that needed more room to breathe than it has in this format. I'd highly recommend expanding it out into a full chaptered story so we can properly come to understand the minds of these intriguing characters and the strange labyrinth they had to explore. Something else to be careful about is keeping perspective consistent since you switched from 3rd to 1st person part way through.
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58	Venia Silente	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
59		8	8	7	8	9	6	9	10	4
60		Comments			Comments			Comments
61		lol poor Eva thinking the "inspectors" to be life threatening, only for them to be tax inspectors. I love the "death and taxes" line in the end. It took a while until I get where you're going with the lost prompt, and Eva's debt being repaid is an interesting interpretation of it. Your worldbuilding is still your strongest point here.			I quite liked the characters here, particularly of the main character. The pacing was good and I also liked the ending as well - got a good laugh from me! Only a couple mistakes were spotted by me as well - this was well put together. That said, I did think this story didn't fit the prompt all too well.			The strength of your story is, as always, in its worldbuilding. You had me enraptured with the world you described and alluded to, and curious about much of it. That being said, I think your character writing has improved since the last SWC. Everyone you showed us felt very tangible and storied, each with their own personalities, goals and motivations. But done without drowning us in information we don't need. The writing was excellent. Every scene was very easy to picture and every character easy to understand with few blips as far as spelling and grammar. My only real complaint is that I didn't feel the story was particularly relevant to the prompt.
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66	Mersie	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
67		8	7	8	8	7	9	9	6	10
68		Comments			Comments			Comments
69		I do like the children's interactions here and also some of the formatting was interesting. Took a bit until we get that it's set in the Pokemon world. Man, Phantump's pokedex entry is sad, can see why this piece was inspired from that.			A nice take of the prompt, although somehow I had guessed early on that Phantump would feature as a fate of a child here. The interactions between the children was enjoyable - you did the characterisation well. I'm not entirely sure what had been the cause of the conclusion however - Avery walked into the fog, and then _something_ happened, then was a Phantump... it did feel a little sudden in that sense, especially with no reaction or follow-up to that discovery. Spelling and grammar was fairly solid. Do watch for a habit of capitalising words after dialogue - that should only happen when a new sentence starts.			A fun way to use the prompt. I don't have much to say about the spelling and grammar side of things since there weren't any major errors. Similarly, I think you kept the story relevant to the prompt well. In multiple ways, in fact, which I certainly appreciate. I think, especially in the initial stages of the story, you did a great job setting the scene as well. But, the middle parts of the story though, the quality did dip a bit and I could feel that you rushed through it. If you'd given yourself more time you could have leaned harder into the horror for more impact. You brought it back around nicely at the end though.
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74	Juno	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance	Spelling/Grammar	Character/Plot/Desc	Prompt Relevance
75		8	9	9	8	10	9	7	10	9
76		Comments			Comments			Comments
77		So I was already enjoying the setup you have here of Edith determined to save her sister. When Edith met up with that man I thought oh this nice old man will help her. And BOY am I wrong haha. Now I can see why her mother wants to get her. Quite like the twist there.			That twist wasn't quite what I expected, but I rather enjoyed that on review it was nicely hinted towards earler - very nicely done. The prompt was well addressed as well, although a couple other stories I think did fit it a touch better. Only a few small errors that I picked up as well - otherwise the description and tale itself was very enjoyable			Well, I have to admit, you definitely ended up taking this a different way than I was expecting. I'm normally pretty good about figuring out twists in advance but this caught me by surprise and made a lot of things make a lot more sense or otherwise take on a new tone and meaning in retrospect. It was interesting to see how the relevance to the prompt evolved as the story went on, much as our understanding of Edith did. While she had indeed lost her family, it certainly wasn't in any of the ways it initially appeared - not that I had any concrete ideas for that. On top of that though, Edith had also lost her humanity. Her old life was truly gone forever in every sense of the world. I think you did a great job with the execution of the story, the setting of each scene and the characterisation of both Edith and the hermit. That being said, your grammar wasn't quite to your usual standard.
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