372 Characters Introduced in 50 Pages
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Character Count
NamePage
Death on Page
Huh? Who?
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1Dale1Former Navy Seal, Vietnam Veteran, 250 lbs, beard, biker, black belt, trucker, and most importantly, husband of Miss Marie. Chad's best friend. "Big Bear"
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2Chad1Former Marine, Vietnam Veteran, 150 lbs, black belt, trucker, quick, the funny one! Dale's best friend and business partner. "Fast Cat"
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3Tommy1Chad and Dale's dispatcher, expert in the art of persuasion
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4Miss Marie3Married to Dale, probably a PhD in Mathematics, definitely a dominatrix, looks like June Cleaver in Mike's headcanon
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5Patch22Rodeo attender, looks like a pissed-off Tom Selleck, possible time-traveler?
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6Patch Wilson55"Bad Eye", Rapist, murderer, horse thief, kind of a jerk.
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7John Starnes55100Rapist, murderer, horse thief, kind of a jerk. Killed by Patch Wilson.
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8Blue Dawn65Wife of Chief Dark Horse, mother of Slim Fox, policewoman, please don't call her Pocahontas, that's messed up.
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9Slim Fox65"Little Beaver", "the boy" Dale and Chad are devoted to saving. 12 summers old! Possibly the Future Sitting Bull?
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10Dark Horse75"Dark House", chief of this particular band of Sioux
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11Lone Eagle76Friend of Slim Fox, roughly the same age
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12Lost Wolf76Friend of Slim Fox, roughly the same age
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13Badger7779Scout sent to retrieve Blue Dawn and Slim Fox; killed by John Starnes unceremoniously 2 pages after introduction, resolved to die well?
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14Yanni7779Scout sent to retrieve Blue Dawn and Slim Fox; killed by John Starnes unceremoniously 2 pages after introduction
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15Wild Eyes77Medicine man for Slim Fox's tribe; dissipator of all tension
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16Blue Duck80Brother of Chief Dark Horse, leads band of warriors to hunt down Patch Wilson and John Starnes
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17Red Sun81Sioux elder on Chief Dark Horse's advisory council
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18Pat Collins84General Rollins' scout, doesn't much like Chad and Dale
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19General Rollins84Incompetent commander of Fort Bridger; hates Indians
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Lieutenant Forbes
8498Leading patrol from Fort Bridger to find Patch Wilson and John Starnes. Died in the skirmish with Dark Horse's search party orchestrated by Patch & Starnes
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21Captain Tim Troy84Army guy, good with infantry, doesn't hate Indians
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22Jim Eagle88Scout and translator, working with Pat Collins, taller than two other scouts
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23Black Hawk88Scout recruited by Pat Collins, piercing eyes
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24War Paint88Scout recruited by Pat Collins, mean-looking, misses nothing with his keen eyes
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25Moon Dog91Sent with Blue Duck and 50 other men to track down Patch "Bad Eye" Wilson and Starnes
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26Wolf Claw9698Killed by Starnes and Patch Wilson to initiate battle between the Sioux tracking them and the Army cohort tracking them
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27Three Scalps98Sioux warrior dispatched by Chief Dark Horse to go back to their village with the dead and wounded after the fight with Lt. Forbes' search party
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28Long Arm98Sioux warrior dispatched by Chief Dark Horse to go back to their village with the dead and wounded after the fight with Lt. Forbes' search party
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29Doctor Flatt109Fort Bridger's resident physician. Kind of dumb. Believes Chad and Dale are knowledgable, resourceful, enterprising, naive, l33t gunters, n00bs, crapburgers, sluts, yound wenches, CPAs, FCPAs, CGMAs, robot pimps, juice-lemon-style deviled eggs, whores, Earls of Trevethick?
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30Sergeant O'Hara112Sergeant traveling with Capt. Tim Troy, dispatched to find Lt. Forbes' search party
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31Jamison115Fort Bridger's horsebreaker, forced to loan his saddled horse to allow Chad and Dale take Slim Fox back home
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32Dancing Leaf127Daughter of Chief Dark Horse, adopted after she was orphaned when whites killed her white family and the Sioux avenged them, translator, thinks Dale's kinda hot but respects his devotion to Miss Marie
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33Light Feather134Young, hot, interesting daughter of Chief Dark Horse, speaks English, sacrificed per Wild Eyes' prophecy to be Chad's literal trophy wife, but don't worry, she's totally into it so it's not weird and gross at all
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34Three Socks161The best character with the best name in all of literature, catches the very un-sneaky scout Pat Collins trying to spy on the Sioux village and brings him in
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35Red Coyote223Brother of the dead Wolf Claw, challenges Chad to combat because white people suck. After Chad beats him up they become bros, because that is how bros do.
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