|Timestamp||Your Wikipedia Username||From the topics below, please identify the topic closest to that one on which you want to work||Write your thesis in the space provided||Dr. X's feedback|
|4/1/2014 12:48:40||Maxamillion412||4. Dana and Kevin as "kindred spirits"||I believe that Dana and Kevin are Kindred spirits, I believe they are Kindred spirits because they share similar values and beliefs race has nothing to do with their relationship because they look at each other as equal half's to a whole.|
Dr: X's version: Dana and Kevin are kindred spirits because they share similar values and beliefs and they they look at each other as equal halves to a whole.
|A good start. The sentence itself had too many ideas, so I streamlined it a bit to its basic tenents. See if you like this version. (For instance, if "race" doesn't matter to them, why mention it?)|
Looking at the streamlined version, I find the phrase "similar values and beliefs" somewhat generic, no? Even the "equal halves to a whole" part is a bit of a cliché. Could you please rephrase this idea so that it is more concrete, more specific to this very unusual couple?
Lastly, why does it matter that they are "kindred spirits"? I mean: in terms of the story that Butler is trying to tell. (The answer to this question may not need to be part of the thesis; but it is important)
|4/1/2014 14:46:03||Redhead321||Dana's education||Dana is seen as dangerous in the Weylin house because she is very educated and wordly and will be able to escape this way of life. |
Dr. X's version: Dana is considered dangerous by Tom Weylin because she is a very educated and wordly black person and so will be able to escape life as a slave.
|I made some of the ideas such as "this way of life" more concrete so we are super clear as to what you mean. |
The question then becomes--how true is this idea? Butler again and again shows that Dana's 20th century education helps her only so much during her time at the plantation--and definitely NOT to escape.
I would like to suggest that Tom Weylin's wariness of Dana is much more serious than a mere escaped slave. See, for example, what Rufus says about his father's suspicion of Dana at the bottom of page 255.
|4/3/2014 18:51:27||nina9723||The symbolism of losing one's arm||At least 2.5M slaves were killed in the United States by white people who murdered them of not listening or escaping from their own master.||Mmm--there are several problems with this statement. |
First, it is a fact, so it cannot be a thesis, but evidence.
Second, it does not show any connection to the novel.
I suggest re-submitting a new thesis.
|4/3/2014 19:18:07||nina9723||The symbolism of losing one's arm||Octavia Butler didn't want Dana to come out from the past as a whole person. She would never be the same person anymore as she was before because she was living and treating as a real slave.||Better. This is an argument--and a good one. The problem: it is not your argument, but an argument that Butler herself makes in an interview with Kenan. So, again, it could be used as evidence in your paper, but not as the thesis because the thesis must be more than agreeement.|
Since you want to write on this question (and it is a *very* good question), I suggest trying to answer prompt IV #2 on page 29 of the packet. That will allow you to create a thesis of your own.
|4/5/2014 14:19:42||Goldilocks||7. Female heroism||In " Kindred " by Octavia E. Butler, the three main females in the book are Dana, Sarah and Alice. All three ladies suffer a lot and at a point had to sacrifice something. I think Dana, Sarah and Alice are examples of female heroism because they each endure such pain and sacrifice something but still manage to make it through. |
Dr. X's version: The three main female characters of Octavia Butler's _Kindred _ , Dana, Sarah, and Alice exemplify female heroism through their suffering, their endurance, and their sacrifice.
|Good ideas. I revised the wording some to get rid of vague ideas such as "a lot" and to tighten your key ideas: female heroism via suffering, endurance, and sacrifice. |
Note: The title of the novel should be italicized, not put in quotation marks.
|4/6/2014 1:39:24||Melissagalarza||The symbolism of losing one's arm||In the novel Kindred, by Octavia Butler, the symbolism of losing one's arm is acknowledged and it's significance to America's dark history regarding slavery.|
Dr. X's version: In the novel _Kindred_ by Octavia Butler, the protagonist's loss of her arm signals to the dark history of slavery in America.
|Mmm--I need more information to truly help you with this. I am going to guess at your meaning: you tell me if I got it right. |
Also: though the ideas are okay, they are not very original. I mean, Butler herself admits to this symbolism in her interview with Kenan.
|4/6/2014 17:32:25||redrosex1025||7. Female heroism||In the novel "Kindred" by Octavia Butler, Dana is the main female protagonist. Her character shows acts of courage and bravery. This give us an example of female heroism because being a strong female in the past placed her in very dangerous situations. |
Dr. X's version: Dana, the protagonist of Octavia Butler's _Kindred_ is a truly heroic figure; though her time-traveling places her in very dangerous situations, she always acts with courage and _______.
|Nice ideas. I rearranged them a bit so the emphasis would be on Dana. I suggest choosing between "courage" and "bravery" because, in this context, they mean the same. maybe you can find another word besides courage/bravery to express her type of heroism. |
Also, if you plan to write about the different female heroisms (Sarah vs. Alice vs. Dana), maybe you should include something like:
Of all the female characters in Octavia Butler's _Kindred_ , Dana, the protagonist is.....
|4/6/2014 17:50:14||The North Remembers16||The symbolism of losing one's arm||Dana losing her arm on her final return home represents what slavery in America did to a person living in those times, it did not let anybody be truly a whole person|
Dr. X's version: Dana losing her arm on her final return home represents what slavery did to people living in ante-bellum America: it did not let anyone be truly a whole person.
|Interesting ideas. Would you say this represents white folk also? If so, how?|
|4/6/2014 23:27:44||Pacer87||The symbolism of losing one's arm||The psychology behind every emotional and physical scar that Dana is left with everytime she comes back from the past.||I am not sure what you mean by "psychology," Pacer87. |
Also, how is this an argument? Please take a look at page 4 of the packet, choose a verb, and create an argument.
|4/7/2014 1:01:04||r_1994||1. Interracial relationships||The relation between Kindred and how society still persists on generalizing and stereotyping. Essentially, one of the main focuses would be the comparison of racial discrimination in the real world and in Kindred, which would then lead to interracial relationships.||Interesting, R_1994, but you have phrased this as a topic, not a thesis. Please take a look at page 4 of the packet, choose a verb, and create an argument.|
|4/7/2014 3:18:42||SNSmith27||7. Female heroism||In the novel "Kindred", Butler interprets heroism in which she highlights the fact that all these woman Butler's mother, Sarah, Alice, and Edana had to sacrifice their life with exploitation and degradation in order to survive and allowing others to survive.|
Dr. X's version: In the novel _Kindred_, Butler validates the sacrificial heroism of her main female characters, Sarah, Alice, and Edana, who endure a life of exploitation and degradation in order to survive and allow others to survive.
OR: In _Kindred_, Butler demonstrates that endurance and sacrifice are the characteristics of the hero through the actions of her main female characters, Sarah, Alice, and Edana, who endure a life of exploitation and degradation in order to survive and allow others to survive.
|Interesting ideas, SNSmith. I thought about for a bit and tried some other verbs for your arguemnts. See if you like those versions.|
Also: I took out Butler's mother because that biographical information would be useful as background for your introduction.
|4/7/2014 8:56:25||Jarika5230||1. Interracial relationships||An analysis in interracial relationship show that are not accepted because of past historical event in which some resentment it still left.||Interesting topic, but not a thesis yet. Please take a look at page 4 of the packet, choose a verb, and create an argument.|
|4/7/2014 9:13:55||steezin||7. Female heroism||In life people say how a man is stronger than a woman and how men could do more then women can. In Kindred as Rufus is so weak to Alice and Dana, they have more dominance over him then the men slaves do. This helps Dana save herself and her husband escaping the past even if it meant losing an arm. |
Dr. X's version: As a white, male slaveowner, Rufus holds all the power in his relationships with Alice and Dana, but his desire for them makes him weak.
|*Very* interesting argument. I extrapolated your main argument. See if you like it.|
|4/7/2014 9:15:29||goga1994||3. Alice's and Dana's choices to cope with Rufus' "love"||From the beginning if the creation till to day people all ways been oppressed by a group that are different from there and it will continue till we learn how to live together.||1. Too broad (you could write books on the subject). |
2. Not a thesis yet (though there is a bit of argument)
3. Does not even refer to the novel.