|Let me know here:|
If you'd like attribution, let me know what your initials are:
|Peanut butter and honey on a thick slice of toast.||NA|
|when i get really really depressed, i like to re-read naive. super, by erlend loe. it's about a 20 something who really get bored with everything and has to learn how to live and feel again and hits things with a toy hammer. it's beautiful.|
|It's a three step process. Step 1: Watch or read something that'll make you cry. I recommend Call the Midwife. Really empty yourself out. Step 2: Dedicate a full evening to self-care of the non-interactive kind. For me, it's first listening to podcasts while taking a bath, and then going to bed really early and read for at least a solid hour. Step 3: Do something that'll make you feel useful/productive/competent. This varies, obviously, but one of the more succesful ones for me was trying on every single piece of clothing in my closet and throwing out what didn't fit any more. Rinse and repeat if necessary.||HJ|
|Fanfic. No, really. I can't always concentrate enough to read Important Novels, but I can read creative, sometimes preposterous stories and feel connected to their worlds at a time when I feel disconnected from the real one.||TT|
|The Gwendolyn Brooks poem "To the Young Who Want to Die," especially the line about seeing what the news is going to be tomorrow.|
|It's a terrible cliche, but lying on the floor and listening to music usually comes closest. What music depends on what sort of sad, but it tends to be an opera or a Broadway cast album in its entirety.|
|Convincing my body it would rather not be dead by pushing it ever so slightly via running, weights, climbing, cycling, or what have you.||jps|
|This poem: http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html|
|Doing something that feels healthy, even if it's super small, helps me out. Whether it's working out, cooking a healthy meal, or, most recently, diffusing essential oils instead of popping a pill. (Although I'm all for popping a pill if that's what works). They make my apartment smell amazing, can cost less than the scented candles that I was blowing through, feel like a natural sedative in moments of stress, and give you some creativity to mix things up.|
|Often my sadness is just caused by the fact that my head is so full of things that are worrying me. So the solution revolves around clearing my head. What works includes: going to the sea, playing with a cat, hanging out with my niece, walking in a forest, running through the streets, or connecting with a piece of great art. All of these things bring perspective back when it's been lost.||MC|
|this poem (https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/your-catfish-friend) helps me in almost every moment of need -- remembering that we are all someone's catfish friend, even if we (or they) don't recognize it in this particular moment.||mlp|
|Madonna concerts on YouTube up to and including 2006's "Confessions Tour" but absolutely nothing after.||JS|
|A dear friend once gave me advice during a particularly sad time in my life to "find the things that make you feel grounded." These are the things that make you feel like YOU, whatever they are. Sometimes, the answers for people are easy—yoga, meditation, running, etc. I had to take some time to figure this out, but now I have my little things: eating breakfast at the diner across the street from my apartment with my favorite magazine; taking the time to walk to work instead of taking the subway; blasting the Tchaikovsky violin concerto until my ears ring; having coffee or a drink with certain people who I know make me feel good. Once you have these tools—whatever they are for you—in your arsenal, pulling any of them out during a time of sadness or general lost-ness both helps with the emotions and makes you feel strong and self-aware and resourceful. Those feelings can be very powerful, especially during a hard time.||BW|
|Watching this and related videos http://sashayed.tumblr.com/post/117955325035/good-this-is-the-kind-of-content-that-i-am-best||TB|
|I've had depression and anxiety since I was in middle school, but was only diagnosed about ten years ago, when I was 24. Very luckily, when medication hasn't done the trick and the edge seems closer than ever, there have been simple sensory joys routinely available right when I've need them, including: crunchy baby carrots, a cat settling into my lap, Velveeta Shells and Cheese, Billie Holiday (always the best), ice cream and cheap beer, free yoga with a friend, the Impressionist rooms at the Met Museum, Allen Ginsberg's "Who Be Kind To," walking in Central Park on an early fall evening, and cruising in my late mom's 1992 LeBaron convertible while blasting her CD of The Drifters, among many other everyday, minor miracles that engage the senses and remind me that being alive is a good thing.||KB|
|I reread my favorite parts of books — almost always the mushy parts of romantic books — and rewatch my favorite mushy clips from tv (mostly "Grey's Anatomy") and movies (again, rom coms and Jane Austen, really). Or, I just watch a bunch of episodes of "The Office" or "Parks and Rec." just remembering that there's happiness in the world and your sad emotions don't last, I get.||VE|
|When I feel depressed I often have the feeling of being trapped in my head and within the walls of my home. If I can't shake the feeling of being trapped then I have to go outside for a walk or run. I've found that going for a walk or running outside gets my blood flowing, increases the endorphins in my brain parts, and helps me feel free from my temporary imprisonment. Take a deep breath, keep your head up and look at what's around you. |
Most importantly, get offline. Put the phone down. You'll never get out of your head if you're staring at a screen waiting for it to change your mood or improve your life. Fuck the selfie taking phonies. Go outside and appreciate living in the real world.
|Letting my friends know how I feel. It takes a huge weight off, and their advice and understanding is a great support.|
|I usually put on a movie that makes me feel really vulnerable and inevitably, I sob uncontrollably. Unashamedly, Click (yes, with Adam Sandler) makes me cry the hardest I can recall crying during a movie, because of the depiction loss of his father in the movie. I'm pretty emotionally numbed in terms of expressing things, so if I can channel it out that way, I usually feel better. Oh, and Jeff Buckley singing "I Know It's Over" by The Smiths does wonders, too.||TBE|
|Miniature Reese's cups; whiskey; sitting silently in a breeze; Neko Case. Baking bread. It's an opportunity to shift my mind and obsess over ingredient quantities and technique -- and kneading allows the opportunity for some publicly-acceptable really aggressively cathartic behavior.|
|When I was a kid, it was The Hobbit. As a teenager, the Les Miserables Complete Symphonic Recording. In college, John Donne's Holy Sonnets.||CS|
|Sex and the City - Season 3, Episode 15: "Hot Child in the City" (The one where Carrie throws fried chicken off a rich guys roof.)||JCS|
|Zoloft and psychotherapy! The best thing I've ever done for my (chronic, relentless) depression is admit that I need interventions beyond what I can administer myself. Also: allowing myself to lean in to bad feelings, acknowledge and ride them out, rather than trying to pretend that they don't exist. A useful metaphor for me is a long-haul flight: I hate long-haul flights, I'm terrified of them, but I've learned to tolerate them by focusing on the knowledge that in 12 hours (or whatever) the plane will either crash or land. So I just have to wait it out. And (touch wood, so far) it's always landed. So, too, bad feelings: I've been through enough cycles of depression now that I know that in time, with the aid of those interventions, the plane will land.||JHE|
|Walking. Whenever I'm feeling down, going out on a directionless walk for more than an hour with no headphones and no phone to just let my mind wander is very calming. I think it's the forced sense of space, having to force myself to listen to myself and not the thoughts or art of anyone else.||BMD|
|I used to cry on the train home from work a lot when I was going through a rough time in my life. I'd listen to Dr. Dog's "Heavy Light" over and over again, it was the only thing that settled my breathing and kept me from spiraling in my thoughts. Years later I discovered therapy, which works even better. But when I'm not going to therapy, poetry helps a lot. My aunt recently died, but before she died, we were mourning another death, and she shared with me Wendell Berry's "The Peace of Wild Things." This year I had two deaths in my family and a break-up, and this poem saw me through it all.||KH|
|Forcing myself to find humor in shitty situations. Or riding my bike.|
|Listening to the same song on repeat for hours and hours on end always makes me feel a little more sane somehow. Sometimes they're songs about how I want to feel (Beyonce "Love on Top"), sometimes they're about how I actually feel (Lake Street Dive, "Rental Love"), but most of the time they're just randomly wonderful (Kenny Rodgers and Dolly Parton, "Islands in the Stream").|
|When I was a Junior in high school, my brother was in his first year of college. He was doing a paper on Carver and mentioned his stories. I read them, then his poetry. The works has been a touchstone ever since. In tough times, this is the one I go back to.|
by Raymond Carver.
No other word will do. For that’s what it was.
Gravy, these past ten years.
Alive, sober, working, loving, and
being loved by a good woman. Eleven years
ago he was told he had six months to live
at the rate he was going. And he was going
nowhere but down. So he changed his ways
somehow. He quit drinking! And the rest?
After that it was all gravy, every minute
of it, up to and including when he was told about,
well, some things that were breaking down and
building up inside his head. “Don’t weep for me,”
he said to his friends. “I’m a lucky man.
I’ve had ten years longer than I or anyone
expected. Pure Gravy. And don’t forget it.”
|spiritual jazz à la Pharoah Sanders + vaping + Super Smash Bros. Project Melee mod on mute—there's an odd sort of out-of-body meditativeness to it, to the point where, after a short time, it's almost easy to forget it's you sitting there||JHM|
|A late-night bike ride on quiet streets with some good music.||CB|
|I'm not gonna lie, I have a secret tumblr (since personal tumblrs are now public, thx Internet) where I post the things that I really want, where I rant, and where, honestly all the cool posts are. Who has time for writing out diaries anymore?||ES|
|In grad school I would cry dramatically in the shower a lot and then make elaborate meals from scratch--that's how I learned to make a good cream sauce. Now, I lift weights and buy Korean sheet masks. How far we've come!||SKD|
|I love diving back into my Shel Silverstein poetry books that I got when I was a kid. Silly and encouraging stuff is usually enough to snap me out of it. I'm almost done with my law degree, so I'm a basket-case lately. Last month, this poem helped a lot. I photocopied it and it's on the wall above my desk now: https://www.poetrysociety.org/psa/poetry/poetry_in_motion/atlas/portland/listen_to_the_mustn/||MTJW|
|I ask my partner to lie on top of me. Having him just lie there, allowing me to feel that heavy weight compress my whole body, immediately calms me.|
|Whenever I feel sad or lethargic or unmotivated and I need TO JUST GO and get shit done I usually think of this, written by Sebastien Grainger http://ericvilasboas.com/2014/09/15/some-words-by-sebastien-grainger-of-death-from-above-1979/||EVB|
|I consciously cuddle and play with my two cats for 30 minutes--works like a charm. Also, I listen to "Groove Is in The Heart" by Dee-Lite!||TV|
|Rothko, in person, for as long as I need. The room at the Tate Modern if I can get it, but others work. The soothing sense of possibility as the edges of perception fade away into his swathes of color. The emotion unrestrained by language. The deep sorrow of him. A feeling like I can stow my pain and emptiness inside his pain and emptiness, then walk away lighter. |
They've always looked like doors to me -- doors I watch and never step through.
|Puppies. Specifically, watching Jimmy Fallon's "puppy predictor" skits can get me out of some deep, dark holes. It's hard to feel without light when Jimmy yell-whispers to the camera, "Release the puppies!" |
And, honest to god: I took a screenshot of a tweet you sent out, of a puppy wearing a flower crown. When I'm feeling down, I pull up that photo. Coachella-esque puppies have power over me. https://twitter.com/lauraolin/status/722181218100494338
|Frightened Rabbit's album "The Winter of Mixed Drinks." It's calmed many a panic attack and depressive episode. I don't know how I existed before it came out in 2010.||j.s.|
|The poem If by Rudyard Kipling - http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/46473||RJR|
|groaning and moaning like a cave wolf|
|What helped me was the decision to actually make decisions instead of just letting everything happen to me. The first important decision was to not drown in self-pity and instead take the necessary steps to make myself happy. From then on forward I think my happiness is based on me deciding to be happy.||DJ|
|"Whenever I feel I can’t go on, I — seriously — just take a shower." — Cat Marnell, Elle U.K. (December 2012)||BMW|
|Sad songs. But do the sad songs pacify or prolong the depression? I'm not sure. Nick Hornby sums it up quite perfectly in High Fidelity: "What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?"|
Billy Joel's "And So It Goes" was a favorite of mine in college... And that one Dido album. And countless other somber songs and terrible pop punk ballads. I regularly tracked my listening trends on last.fm and, looking back, I wish I had understood my depression better (at all) and had been able to recognize that sad songs = sadness in my life.
Maybe someone can create a notification in Spotify that will recognize when someone is listening to an abundance of sad songs, then "ask" if they're okay? Provide a quick mental health quiz or something. Because knowing is half the battle (thank you, G.I. Joe). And if you don't know you're depressed, you certainly can't begin to get help.
|One thing that helps me when I'm far enough gone is digging through information on mental health with a sort of anthropological eye, not looking for or expecting useful advice but somehow putting some distance between myself and my brain-state. I'll get lost in webmd articles, wikipedia, fluffy self-help clickbait, "depression diets", suicide statistics, and especially mental health forums. The information is never useful, but objectifying the disease is.|
|Listening to "The Morning of Our Lives" by Jonathan Richman. When I'm sad, it feels like he is singing it straight to me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbUYJfbZ-Qc||PC|
|Sometimes my brain gets stuck on what's going wrong, what I don't have, what I'm not doing and who I'm not with. In those moments, I force myself to write down 3 things I'm grateful for and why. It reminds me of the good.|
|I buy flowers when I feel sad. It reminds me that I have the power to make my life beautiful.||AF|
|There is the hashtag #talkingaboutit on Twitter--posts about mental health expereinces|
|I watch BBC nature documentaries narrated by David Attenborough. They are both beautiful and soothing. It helps me relax and, when I have insomnia, helps me go to sleep.||LL|
|Counting Crows songs||AH|
|Nina Simone's cover of "Turn! Turn! Turn!" It's ok to be unhappy. And no matter what time it is, there is an action you can take.||TM|
|https://open.spotify.com/track/1rvjzRvUo5BCcyrLTRlKIA I listen to this song on repeat on my headphones while walking around the city. I might even attempt some public dancing. It means it's working.||educoffee|
|Kurosawa movies, or Johnny Dangerously||KS|
|I have saved this essay by Paul Ford called How to Be Polite. It reminds me that sometimes one of the best things you can do when you're sad is to bring a tiny bit of joy to someone else. When I'm super depressed, I almost never want to be around others because I'm scared it will somehow leak onto them. Ford reminds me that the majority of people just want to be made to feel like they're interesting and worthy of love, and it's fairly easy to do that. You can read the essay here: https://medium.com/message/how-to-be-polite-9bf1e69e888c#.2s0c4hljh||LM|
|What helps me? Having a pet, a friend or a mate/partner I can give to. Someone I can help, in any minute way. Not that they need me, but that I add to their lives in some small fashion. A bit of joy, peace, refuge, hope, that wouldn't be there if I didn't exist. If my existence is to be justified at all, it's that I am here to support other living things. I go through hard times to prepare myself to assist others who follow me into hard times. I get over things in order to learn to help others get over things. I take care of myself to be strong that I may have the strength tp make each life I touch a microscopic bit better. Every day. It's hard work. It's worth it.||FG|
|I go to a yoga class, or go for a run, and then I always text the one friend I know will understand what it feels like to just feel shitty for a little bit and we compare problems and it helps.||TJC|
|I listen to 'Leaving Las Vegas' by Sheryl Crow and think about how the same woman who wrote so many dark, bittersweet like that (see also: 'If It Makes You Happy' and a lot of Tuesday Night Music Club) also churned out stuff like 'Soak Up The Sun' and 'All I Wanna Do.' I guess it reminds me that people are complicated and always in flux and have little control over so much of our lives. And Sheryl Crow just has a soothing voice.||CF|
1. Blasting "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers on repeat
2. Understanding the difference between feeling willing and being willing. I don't feel like getting out of my bed but I AM willing to do it. It makes me feel distinct from the depression and like I still have agency in my own life. (I'll admit, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't)
PS I can't thank you enough for this week's newsletter. I have felt so alone in this particular struggle and it's so helpful for me to hear that I'm really not. Thank you for being willing (lawl) to talk about it
|I have this playlist called "getting all sentimental." I started it three or four years ago, and it's just sappy songs like Cat Powers' "Sea of Love" and James Blake's "A Case of You" cover. I would categorize it as questionable, mostly because it also includes the cover of "Can't Help Falling in Love" that was used in an Extra Gum commercial. I listen to it every time I'm feeling sad or lonely or super besotted.|
|Wild Geese by Mary Oliver (http://www.rjgeib.com/thoughts/geese/geese.html) - such a beautiful and important poem - one to live by||APG|
|Dancing through the living room to Fela Kuti.||KM|
|Making a delicious meal for one, all from scratch.||E.G.|
|Volunteering. No better cure for spiraling self-obsession than helping others. If that doesn't work, reading early modern philosophers like Descartes, Spinoza and Kant helps to ground your thinking when feeling adrift. Last resort, smoke a shitload of pot, relax with a foot spa and listen to beach sounds.||AK|
|Sometimes letting all the stressful things flood my brain for a few minutes actually helps. Then a deep breath, and move along.||JE|
|My three dogs. No matter what, they're always happy to see me, feeding/walking them is a constant "normal" thing...so that helps, and they are the best cuddlers. I don't have to explain myself to them...I can just be.|
|Going for a run. I get to stay inside my head and get out of it simultaneously.||MS|
|"A Color of the Sky" by Tony Hoagland--"What I thought was an injustice /|
turned out to be a color of the sky."
|Khalil Gibran's passage "On Joy and Sorrow" in The Prophet; gets me through the hard times, but also reminds me to appreciate and truly live in my happy moments. http://www.npr.org/programs/death/readings/spiritual/gibran.html|
|Reading Good Omens and vintage Achewood|
|video games - current calmer is alto's adventure or I draw something simple like lots of circles||JRLS|
|I listen to Nicki Minaj's Beam Me Up Scotty, in full, at least once a month, especially whenever I'm feeling down about myself or undervalued. It works every time.||LS|
|What helps is all the things I don't do and haven't done in roughly the last year since things have been bad. I know it sounds obvious when I put it like that, but it is hard to take the time to take care of yourself when Life being particularly persistent.|
Writing. Yoga. Meditation. Spending quality time with my other half. Listening to music. Seeing friends (real, close friends) one-on-one or in very small groups. Reading. Having a day or a week to myself for all those things.
Basically, now that I look at it, being an introvert.
|Reading (and re-reading) Allie Brosh's Hyperbole and a Half comics about depression (Part One: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html and Part Two: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2013/05/depression-part-two.html). It's the most accurate description of my depression I've ever found! Just knowing that someone else knows what it's like to feel nothing makes me smile, if only while reading it.||RS|
|This quote has helped me time and time again: |
“When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.
The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.”
― Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
Also this poem by Khalil Gibran has gotten me through a break-up or two:
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.
And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
|Rilo Kiley's "A Better Son/Daughter." I saw Jenny Lewis play this live at a concert a few years ago and I (and the girl next to me, and probably so on and so on) just stood there and cried. So many memories of so many teenage nights under the covers blasting this, feeling my feelings. "You'll be honest, you'll be brave, you'll be handsome, you'll be beautiful."||CG|
|I'm 25 and have PTSD.|
Things that I already knew helped pre-trauma:
Family, Friends, my cat, introspection.
Additional things that I learned about post-trauma:
Knowing my limits - it's okay to stay in bed sometimes if it means not getting a migraine or having a panic attack, grounding methods!, parables to describe what it's like to live through trauma to make it easy for people you care about understand what you're going through if they're also having a hard time connecting, something in the short term to look forward to - for me this ended up being volunteering at a therapeutic riding program where you take care of horses and disabled riders. It made me think, "Who knew there could be this much good in the world?" which was a huge step that took months to get to. Also, connecting with a counselor that can listen and/or a support group that can relate. One of the best moments with my counselor was screaming "This SUCKS!" at the ceiling and just letting a shitty time in life be what it is. Bright spots will ensue.
|Going for a solo hike in the mountains||KF|
|Shooting a basketball. Preferably in a light rain. It's meditative and calming. Being in the world, physically, helps tether me to the world in ways that help. Maybe it also helps that I know I can't make every shot -- sometimes an attitude I should carry over from the court to life.||hsh|
|The poem "Wait" by Galway Kinnell. Also, poetry in general. http://www.phys.unm.edu/~tw/fas/yits/archive/kinnell_wait.html||no attribution please|
|My Irish grandmother's favorite quote, in the face of everything, good, bad, and sideways: "THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS." You must sigh deeply when you say it, and shrug your shoulders in a worldly-wise way. :-) I just fractured my knee a few days ago so I've been saying it a lot. In fact, I'm getting it tattooed.||SJP|
|Running. When you're walking and blinking back a lot of tears and stifling panic attacks it's easy to stumble and fall, but with running the forward momentum helps keep you on your feet. And it distills all your various intersecting impossible jobs down to simple task: keep moving forward. Just one foot in front of the other until that hill 400 yards away. Then when you get there, you aim for the next hill. Then the next one. Until you're done running and the breathing is a little easier.||CB|
|Crying, having a glass of wine, and blasting Gin Blossoms' New Miserable Experience. Maybe just because it's hard to take yourself too seriously while yelling Gin Blossoms lyrics.|
|Volunteering at a children's hospital once a week helps me. Even though they have serious illnesses, they are still so totally kids--they laugh, they sing, they play games with gusto, they compare their favorite poo emojis, they read, they do math--they're still being kids. Spending a couple of hours with them always sends me out feeling better.||dh|
|Watching "The Last Waltz" with the volume all the way up||CL|
|I made a poster titled "ARE YOU SAD AGAIN? TRY THIS!" and I wrote things that made me happy, like sunshine on my feet, walking by the lake, dogs, reading in the park, etc. I noticed dogs kept appearing in my favorite activities that seemingly had nothing to do with dogs, like going to the farmers market (and petting peoples' dogs). So I started volunteering as a dog walker at my local humane society. You know what distracts from existential panic? Taking care of something other than yourself. Its free therapy. Face kisses, snuggles, tails that wag so fast they look like helicopters. I do it for me as much as I do it for them. I get good feels and exercise, they get love and attention.||KP|
|Going on a run. Or reading a book.||JP|
|Details in the Fabric, by Jason Mraz. Sure, fine, embarrassing, but the quiet pep-talk of it does it for me. It's not a burn-the-house-down, "Go fight win!" pump-up. It's just a message from a friend when you've hit the age where your mom's not always the one you call when things go bad. "Get yourself dressed—everything will be fine."|
|prompt email is such a great place to read people being open and honest "on the internet". It's really in my inbox, just like everything changes, but it's a real throwback to anonymous internet communities of the past. I am a grade A lurker, never submitted but read all the prompts and sooooo many responses.|
|Eating a pint of chocolate Haagen Dazs||KDH|
|Aggressively upbeat pop music. Especially this unreleased Lady Gaga/Cher duet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veeGzrfZhWs|
|Silence in Nature||Tertta|
|Thinking about compassion: what it'd feel like to be heard by someone compassionate, how much empathy could I expect from the person I'm thinking about (sometimes none, and it's freeing to know that), how much of what I'm feeling comes down to longing for empathy. Just focusing on the idea of compassion is something that gives me a sense of being cared for in the moment.|
|Spending time with the people who make space for me. Mental space, emotional space, a safe physical space. The space to be myself, but also the space to change and grow and not be judged. The space to make healthy decisions—but also the space to make bad decisions, if that's what I need to do.||AG|
|"Get Me Away from Here I'm Dying" by Belle and Sebastian. I know.||RB|
|Walking - there is something about movement that calms me and helps me think. Whether it's a simultaneous metaphor for moving forward or just the repetition of one foot in front of the other that is like a physical form of meditation. If the walking can happen in the woods, then I am set! The contrast of dark wood against bright green leaves or orange and red leaves or no leaves with grey or blue sky peeping through excites my visual senses. The smells of flowers or dirt - even dead animals - it's all good. I can feel alive and part of something larger than me. I can imagine that I have something to contribute, to help preserve, to offer the larger universe. It brings me outside of my "little" problems and helps me stay open to the goodness in the world.|
|I disagree with no one saying on the internet they feel like shit but I'm part of a close-knit Tumblr community where everyone is an adult with responsibilities but also very openly talks about feeling like shit and things are hard and that's always been helpful for me. Other things include listening Kurt Vile's "He's Alright" on repeat, watching "Rock of Love" (yes the Bret Michaels reality TV show) and drinking a margarita and staring at I-35 going by from the Mexican restaurant behind my house.||ML|
|I remind myself that the stars my parents saw are the stars I see, the same patterns, the same colors. And the light from these stars is traveling, even now, to reach me, through the quiet emptiness, those photons have been racing for hundreds and even thousands of years, and I am worth this journey. I remember that even in a chaotic and unpredictable and terrifying universe, all emotions are old emotions, that I am not alone in feeling how I do.||K.H.|
|Petting a dog helps me. A lot.|
Taking a deep breath, and reminding myself I once felt worse, and it passed.
A really good strawberry milkshake. (I wish that was a euphemism)
|Knowing I'm taking good care of myself helps. Eating well, drinking my favorite tea, taking time to walk in the woods, exercising. I'm also a firm believer in the power of journaling. If I'm feeling like everything I'm bottling up is about to explode and I don't know why I just sit down and write freely and sometimes I cry and it's very cathartic. |
I've also found it helpful to lean in a little. Even though the last thing I want to do is talk to people or be around people when I'm feeling down or depressed, completely isolating myself makes it that much more painful. I look for ways to become more involved in my community in some small way, or even grab a coffee with a woman I look up to in my life, who I feel comfortable talking to about what I'm struggling with even if it's just on a surface level. I find inspiration doing these things, which is helpful when you're in the pits.
|Talking to people IRL. I know, so simple and so obvious. And when I'm depressed, seeing people out in the world is the LAST thing I think I want to do. But if I go out, even just for dinner with one person, sometimes even just a phone call, with a live human and not Twitter and not Facebook, and not even gchat. I feel better, refreshed, settled, more present in the world. I'm not floating above it scrolling and scrolling, I'm on the ground, feeling the air, seeing the natural light, here.||KM|
|For anxiety attack:|
Lou Reed - Waves of Fear
Grouper - Heavy Water/I'd Rather be Sleeping
Suicide - Surrender
The Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby
Jonathan Richman - Affection
|Mary Oliver's poem Wild Geese is a balm to my soul.||SP|
|Exercise. Moving my body. Being in nature.|
I sound like someone I'd hate 5 weeks ago, but after 10 years of being sedentary I've been seeing a personal trainer 3 times per week followed by swimming 1000 meters in an outdoor pool. I have to wake up 5 hours before I'm scheduled to be at my office, but it's worth it. Because it fucking works.
I've lost 13 lbs in 4 weeks, but more importantly my mood has lightened, I have more energy, and I feel less powerless.
I had all but given up on myself. And I don't know what it is, even if occupying 10 hours per week with new activities is only a distraction from my problems, it makes me feel better. I'm less fixated on and overwhelmed by life's miseries, of which there are many. Seriously, it's like a clowncar. But now it's easier to see it for what it is and laugh at it.
|Nothing. And sometimes accepting that helps me to get through the wave. Patience is a virtue and I can't magically fix myself. I can be mindful, go outside, cry and rage but sometimes I've got to let time do the work.||GL|
|Robert Hass reading "Faint Music": http://www.poetryarchive.org/poem/faint-music||RFL|
|What helps me get through my bouts of depression is focusing on my ability to overcome them. People I'm close to always tell me I'm very strong, stronger than them, and that doesn't really help, but it does when I tell myself. I guess I kind of consider how detached I am mentally from happenings of even a week ago, and remind myself I'll be that detached from however I feel at that moment soon enough, and that is enough to get by.||S.G.|
|Leisurely walks, massages, bath with salts and candles, crossword puzzles, playing in the dirt, swimming laps, purposeful breathing, phone call to dad, saying aloud what is bothering me as well as some things that are not bothering me, classical music.||NR|
|Listening to the emo music I used to write the lyrics of all over my notebook in high school. Like Konstantine by Something Corporate or Delicate by Damien Rice. Also, rewatching an extremely dramatic show, like Grey's Anatomy. Feels like it makes my problems feel pleasantly minor.|
|Travel helps me more than anything when I'm depressed, especially after a major heartbreak. The farther the better. The mental effort it takes to navigate a strange country/culture/language forces me to take the focus off my own sadness. A week or two of that goes a long way toward adjusting my perspective in a much healthier direction.||JD|
|Get outside and take a walk in nature (if possible). You can find beauty and wonder in the smallest flower or looking up into the branches of a tree. Find a quiet place and meditate - try to clear your mind and focus on something positive, no matter how small.||TB|
|Physically smiling (kinda like fake it 'till you make it).||GDS|
|My cat. Knowing I can care and help her and nourish another living creature in really simple ways. Giver her water, food, and unending love.||Brooke B.|
|Heather Havrilesky's Ask Polly columns constantly have advice that helps pull me out of existential crises. This one in particular helped me realize recently that the doubts I had about getting married were normal and fine: http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/03/ask-polly-when-will-my-doubts-go-away.html|
|Grilled cheese sandwiches (American cheese on Rye) with Top Ramen. It's what my mom made me as an after school snack when I was in elementary school and what she gave me for lunch when I stayed home sick. It still tastes like comfort. |
Also: It's a cliche, but doing something to help someone else. Works every time.
|2010 was a weird year for me, but Kanye's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy helped me work through it. I identified a lot with the extremes on the album: I'm so great/but I screw up everything/So I'm really just deplorable/Despite everything around me that's great. It was angsty in the correct way for me, and also something I could put on at parties and still seem cool.|
|Friends to talk with, getting "zoned out" through work, yoga.||A.M.|
|Sitting in the warm embrace of the afternoon sun and listening closely to my own heart.|
|I turn on sporting events - football or hockey, mostly - and take naps while listening to the commentators. Kind of like white noise. The enthusiasm, the cheering, it makes me feel like I"m not alone. There's passion and excitement, and I think maybe I can feel something, too.||R.R.|
|After my college boyfriend and I broke up in 2009 I quit facebook for good (still going strong!). In place of all those post-college status updates (read: new jobs, great parties, engagements, etc.), I began to subsist on a strict diet of TMZ, STFU Parents, and Go Fug Yourself, all of which really spoke to my especially snarky and cynical mood at that time in my life. I read literally everything ever posted to STFU Parents - it was pretty much the only thing that could make me laugh and give me some kind of small escape.||blw|
|Knowing that there's so much beauty out there that I haven't discovered yet -- places, books, music, movies, and who knows what other kinds of art. Sometimes just knowing that these exist gives me some hope. Also, knowing the things you're good at, and how these things help make people's lives better.||jk|
|My family was late to the internet, back when the internet was mostly AOL. When we did finally get it I was in high school (so this must have been around 1996-98). I used to create these chat rooms with names like "Why am I so sad?" and "When does living start getting easier?" Melodramatic, I know. Anyway, I'd sit in these chat rooms and, in turns, pep myself up or bring myself down. Occasionally strangers would pop in. Some would just say 'hi' and then leave but others would stay and talk with me. I don't know if it was AOL culture or just a different era of being on-line but none of these people ever shamed me or came in to pile on. All of them were friendly, encouraging, and none of them belittled me for being an over dramatic teen, or told me to toughen up. |
I suppose it was like those "It Gets Better" videos that are on Youtube a decade or so that was even a thing. Looking back my fears and worries seem small and trivial. But what a help those chats were.
|Listening to podcasts helps me. When my listening only consisted of music (before podcasts were a thing) I was able to feel my emotions more fully but, these days, what I want is to not have so many feelings. Podcasts stimulate my mind and take some of the pressure off my heart. Death, Sex & Money is a good one for moody blue days.||LT|
|Adopt a dog. Begin to monologue at the dog without rest, until the flood stops, usually until tears come. She will sense your sadness enough to lick your face and then you will hug her gently, finally feeling like you'll both make it - at least to dinner.||MT|
|When I was a depressed teenager in the early 90s, Gloria Estefan's cover of Don't Let the Sun Catch You Crying (yeah, I know) used to sooth me, or so I thought at the time. Looking back, the song's message about hiding your emotions is exactly what teenage me didn't need to hear - that line of thinking probably contributed to years and years of depression. But, when I listen to the song these days, the lyrics help to remind me how incredibly far I've come and that making myself emotionally vulnerable with others is absolutely necessary.||DB|
|Honestly? Giving myself permission to feel like shit. When I was younger I always ended up adding so much stress to my anxiety/depression, etc. because I was trying to live up to some ideal and react to situations and people in the "right" way. Recognizing when I start to slide down a bit and letting it happen (and knowing from experience that it won't last forever) is something I now recognize as important to making it through to the other side. As is realizing what kinds of social interactions cause me stress and which kinds I enjoy, and saying no to the former and seeking out more of the latter.||FS|
|Bugs Don't Buzz - Majical Cloudz (because it's gorgeous music about feeling ugly)||JR|
|Early Simpsons episodes, bad comedy podcasts.|
|Animals. When I’m stressed or sad, I go to the city farm and stroke a sheep, or feed an alpaca, or scratch a goat between the horns.|
|Stay the fuck off of social media. I'm serious. There is nothing that will have you spiraling into the bowels of depression like looking at how "happy" everyone else is. But let's be real, you can't stay off the internet completely. Visit sites like Ravishly, The Greatist, Amy Poehler's Smart Girls, The Toast, places where people going through what you're going through share their story. I know it sounds counter intuitive, "I'm already depressed why read about someone else's depression." But it gives you perspective. It reminds you that you're not alone. Sometimes other people's stories give you ideas on how to feel better. And if anything, it's a break from that cycling of sadness in your mind. Also, read the onion and cracked. They're just hilarious and you will laugh.||JP|
|I put on "end of the road" by Boyz II Men really loud and sing along at the top of my lungs.||AG|
|Listening to Kate Bush. "Suspended in Gaffa." Sometimes/usually involves sing/crying and/or interpretive bedroom dancing.|
|When I'm really down, I read a romance novel set in a time and place where I won't feel mad that it's all white people and hopefully someone gets kidnapped. (So like..... regency england where the offerings are plentiful and dubious.)||LY|
|Caring for a bajillion houseplants in my bedroom; gazing lovingly at them whenever things get stressful||MJ|
|I retreat to get time alone and let my thoughts run their course. I've found I'm basically a happy person and relying on myself to just let whatever is bothering me simmer will let the negativity flow out. I also put my phone away and stop reaching out to friends. When a friend eventually texts me to catch up or see how I'm doing, it feels great.|
|Time. Time is the only thing that ever helps. But it passes a little faster on a walk, out in the fresh air and under the sun.||AA|
|I've only been deep in the throes of whatever once - and there were very clear reasons, so it probably differs a lot from how other people tend to feel when they're deep in the throes of whatever - but back in 2011, before knowledge about all of Joe Biden's Stuff was commonplace after he had More Stuff happen, I found out about it through a book or something and just clung on like like hell. Someone can survive the worst of the worst, and come out of it not only presenting as a functional human being, but seem SO happy and work SO hard at trying to set the state for SO many other people to become functional human beings? sign me up. So I think about that a lot, and whenever I'm said I read Joe Biden interviews and all the Irish poetry he references and think about maybe trying out catholicism but naah.|
I got this link via another friend's newsletter! Secondary networks woooOooOooOOo
|Intensive Trauma Therapy, Sobriety and Buddhist Meditation.||CLG|
|I listen to this interview with Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend. It's a little music specific, but he talks a lot about impermanence and being at peace with the way lives change in a way that's comforting, especially from a successful person. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/no-effects-with-jesse-cohen/id815705988?mt=2&i=341941565|
|Winnie the Pooh||EW|
|Re-watching Liar Liar starring Jim Carrey. It's such a silly movie but it always helps me out of a funk.||Deanna S|
|You aren't alone. Life is shit, mostly. Everyone wears some sort of mask -- just to prove something, or maybe put you down. Gone are the days when you had friends who actually cared if you were going through a shitty phase. I've learnt, the hard way, that the internet magnified apathy towards others. Of course, proponents of the internet would argue otherwise -- that it's easier to reach out to the world, to people you care, to vent your feelings. I don't think so. |
A few years ago, I cut off ties with social networks, culled down internet use, restricted myself to only email, because there was too much information, too little good, and everyone was partying like it was 1999. It was bizarre and a depressing place to be. It was time to focus on me. Myself.
Office work definitely helps me because it puts me in a zone, in a bubble, a place where I forget everything else. Besides, I'm pretty good at what I do and I get enormous respect from peers, so office is not a bad place even if it might be a very lonely world.
When I'm at home, I indulge in creative pursuits -- sketching, coding, photography, and more importantly -- exercise. I also devour an enourmous amount of information, because learning is an exciting thing to do, of the things I want learn such as: nuclear fission, the human anatomy, Bitcoin, dysfunctional American politics, progamming in Python, glaciers, photography techniques, Tigers, golf, orgasms, and so on.
|As someone who has dealt with depression on and off for most of her adult life I have found the following helps me: long drives by myself to someplace pretty, having something fun to look forward to once a week (lunch with a friend, a manicure,). But I am also one who has suffered from bottling up my emotions and not letting people know I am depressed. My new thing now is to tell people I'm feeling blue and that makes me feel a little better. |
But my all-time favorite way to cheer myself up is in the form of retail therapy. I do that one a lot. Something about the act of shopping and browsing around is way cheaper than a therapist and it makes me happy. The best place for my budget happens to be the dollar store. I let myself by whatever I want and I usually don't spend more than say $10. But I end up with all kinds of cool things, candles, stickers, a coloring book, and a little bit of candy.
|I am trying to get over a 4-year relationship with the person that I love but who lives on the other side of the planet. So I got swamped with work on purpose and took an assignment to go cover a festival ( I haven't been to one in ages, I am kind of old now). At first it all brought me down even more but then LCD Sounsystem came on stage and James Murphy started singing how he's losing his edge (he isn't) and I literally danced myself clean. |
|Imagine a T-Rex trying to make a bed.|
|Tell someone. For real. It takes a lot longer to get out of a hole when no one else knows you're there.|
|Collecting happy and/or interesting internet ephemera and sharing it with friends. (This is a fundamental purpose of my own newsletter)|
ABC / @mulberryterrace
|One thing that genuinely helps me is listening to podcasts (nothing too intense - no Serial or Criminal) and playing dumb games on my phone. Podcasts of choice currently are old Adam and Joe ones, which can still be found in parts of the internet, and Baby Geniuses. The games occupy me enough to stop my brain whirring and the podcasts make me laugh and so forget to be anxious.||FF|
|These lines from TS Eliot's East Coker: I said to my soul, be still and wait without hope, for hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love, for love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, but the faith and the love are all in the waiting. Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought: So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.||KAR|
|during breakups (back when I had breakups), the last two minutes of "Are You Lightning?" by Nada Surf, over and over, only ever the last two minutes.||kb|
|Listening to classical music - there is music for every available mood, and it's so inspiring and satisfying, like eating a really delicious but really healthy meal. (Pop music is usually more like candy or dessert.)||MBC|
|It helps me to think that the feeling will not last forever. It helps me to share with a friend, to read a book and mostly to exercise to get the dopamine flowing.|
|For me, rather than trying to force myself to be happy or feel better, I prefer to lean into the sadness (which usually involves me lying in bed, listening to sad music). It makes it easier to feel better later because it feels like I've let myself be sad. |
I think a lot about this quote from John Green:
"I said to someone I know, 'I don't know why it hurts so much.' And she said, 'It hurts because it mattered.' And that was a huge thing for me to realize - that there are things in life that hurt, and they hurt because they were important."
"It was my supervisor who finally helped me understand why I was so sad, and that I should feel sad. So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered."
Original post: http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com/post/30457139935/meghantonjes-this-is-everything-how-does
|Smiling sincerely at strangers on the street; continuing to try to love bigger than I think I am capable of, especially in the face of not receiving the love I want or think that I need; Rilo Kiley; running; remembering all that I have been given and that I am capable of; remembering how much is in my control; making art; crying; The Magnetic Fields; Cheryl Strayed; remembering that we can't possibly know what will manifest in our lives (thinking about how I could have never known that I would be here, where I am today, and that I can't possibly know where I will be in a month or a year or a decade, god willing); putting my hands in the dirt and watching things grow; calling a friend who will set my insecurities straight; dancing.||HV|
|I'm really *not* a fan of the TV show "How I Met Your Mother". Even so, a line from the show has helped me recently when I've been feeling down or demotivated. "Whenever I start feeling sick I just stop being sick and be awesome instead!" It's stupid, not really funny and a bit like people saying "Have you tried just being happy?", but somehow it helps me "stop being sick" and makes me feel in control of myself.|
Questionable taste indeed.
|A few years ago I made a google doc called 'small pleasures' to remind myself that I felt things and that parts of the world were still ok. It was things like: 5:30 am on Westlake Avenue, really spicy curry, orgasms. Nothing profound, but it helped.||Evie|
|It's dancing at 90's night at Bell House! It helps to get moving to upbeat music when you're in a bad mood. And it's great to be in a big room with strangers and friends who are dancing, singing, laughing, and being silly all at once.||ERY|
|Rereading my favorite books (like the Harry Potter series) or watching sitcom reruns. Anything that is familiar, starting to read or watch something new when you're sad is hard.|
|Listen to Fucked Up's "Turn the Season" on the walk from the subway to my office. Works every time.|
|Sleep Don't Weep by Damien Rice|
|Luchini by Camp Lo always makes my heart smile, I put it on repeat and lose myself in it -it helps enormously that I don't understand half the lyrics so when I rap along I make absolutely no sense and I enjoy the absurdity.||MSN|
|Whenever I can't sleep, I put on my Paramore playlist. If I don't fall asleep right away, at least I feel much better for the moment.||EF|
|When I'm not playing with the cat, I like taking cultural data and making something with it for fun, like a soundscape.||IE|
|Sarah Koenig's voice.||KK|
|I gave up with men. It works.||AVe|
|Music! Again and again, and the more the better. It isn't always the same songs that help, even if I do go to back to some favourites, but it's music that for a short period of time takes away the pain and gives me hope. Or, it actually doesn't get rid of the dark, but it makes me feel something else at the same time, beauty along with the sadness. I listen to these songs again and again until my gloominess fades.|
One good song for moments of depression is Villagers - Nothing Arrived.
|When I'm feeling down, which has happened a lot in the last year, nothing helps more than a good talk with a friend. Usually when I'm depressed I see everything gloomier than it might actually be, and talking with my friends about it always brings perspective, plus they always make me feel better about myself. However, if that is not available and I need some immediate pick me ups, I put on the headphones, play upbeat music that reminds me of good times and go for a long walk.||TV|
|The Mary Oliver poem "Wild Geese": "Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like wild geese, harsh and exciting -- over and over announcing your place in the family of things."||SK|
|What helps me, hmm? I start with an search on google "Why am I not happy?" but Google can't help me with an answer this time. So I search "coming of age independent films" and this helps. Not just searching, but immersing myself into the struggle of another character. I align myself with many characters and I myself cannot see the light sometime unless I see someone going through a similar struggle. But this helps. I have been in the depressed club as of recent lately and sleeping in to much and hitting the snooze button a lot lately. But it is improving. I can feel certain things again. I open the blinds in the morning. I am reading more, which always helps. I am reading more Bukowksi as of recent too. Escaping the confines of my skin and into a screen or the fine pages of a good book, let's me escape this unrelenting reality for a couple hours of a day and I am fine with that. Like John Keats once wrote "Ode to Melancholy" sometimes these strong feelings of sadness, depression will equate to something profound. I love this blog by the way! Keep writing because I look forward to them.||N.M.|
|Watching Fleetwood Mac's live performances and old music videos from the 70s and early 80s, eating Digiorno's Stuffed Crust Pizza, reading Cheryl Strayed and crying till I can't cry anymore and then putting on Brooklyn 99 when I need to laugh, calling my mom, having my bf braid my hair||CG|
|Being at home alone.|
|The thing that helps me feel better is submitting to temporary depression. |
I'm usually pretty even, a fairly happy person -- or at least content. But a few times a year, I fall into these valleys. Some are deeper than others. Some are longer than others. (From a few days to a few weeks.) I've tried fighting them off with new activities, friends, etc. But -- classic depression! -- that makes it worse because I can't often bring myself to actually do them.
Embracing it and wallowing makes me feel shitty (and guilty about feeling sad because I have nothing to be sad about -- and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty, and down the spiral we go). But if I give it time, I come out of it. I think it's just part of who I am, a natural cycle. I'm OK with that -- as long as it continues to end.
Signs I'm "embracing it": I stop exercising, I stay home, I listen to sad and angry music, I waste a lot of time on screens, and I basically become a nihilist -- super negative and dark.
|I, too, had a great sadness when I was younger. It was starting to mellow into this numbed-out malaise as I got older and realized that I wasn't going to get any do-overs. After some years of therapy, it's freeing to step back and see the full spectrum of negative feelings that I have (anger, envy, disappointment, fear, etc.) and stop filing them all under "sadness" or "depression." All I could do with sadness was focus on how I was the source of my problems, and there's no possible way to solve them, so why not stay here in bed and wallow (but also--some wallowing is encouraged). Anger and envy can give you desire, purpose. Disappointment can lead you to connection. Fear can give you the opportunity to be brave. Such positive stuff from emotions that I thought were so dangerous. So that's one thing. |
More concrete things include: Returning to a book or tv show that I used to love. For poetry, I keep it simple. Billy Collins is sorta my speed. James L. Brooks movies, any of them. I own "How Do You Know," so I really mean that. My favorite ginger candies. Long walk/drive with music or podcasts. Baking a cake. Finally finishing a knitting project. Crying with a friend. Clean sheets. Nice-smelling bath products. My mom stroking my head. Snuggling with my nieces. They probably help me the most. They give me a reason to keep trying and the most passionate hugs.
|My grad school thesis project was a toolkit to help you understand how depressions affects you personally and plan for its ups and downs. You can see more information on it here: http://www.annaluizabraga.com/seekit||ALB|
|"Daytime, nighttime" Every. Single. Time. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ1HKCYJM5U||kd|
|Doing something mindless, easy and repetitive usually helps me when I'm feeling especially shitty. This usually means coloring or painting my nails. I try and pair this with a movie; preferably one in which the protagonist is going through their own personal crisis. Some favourites include: Frances Ha, Lost In Translation, Kiki's Delivery Service, The Go Getter and The Breakfast Club. I don't even need a happy ending. Just knowing that I'm not alone in my confusion/loneliness/depression is incredibly healing and comforting.||AT|
|I've watched The Emperor's New Groove every time depression hits for the past 10 years.||AM|
|Going on a bike ride on a pretty path, listening to good music|
|popcorn and Tara Brach podcasts||a.j.s.|
|Music. Every single time. Music is magical and wonderful and we don't pause to think about that enough.||The S from SLY|
|When I feel my depression elbowing its way in, I usually run to the kitchen to bake something that I can share with other people. It gets me to focus on one task and then I get comfort food and to make other people happy. This is a recent discovery for me! I also tend to watch random episodes of Gilmore Girls (nothing grounds you like a little Lorelai chat) and force myself to leave my house. I get dressed, put on some makeup, and spend 15 minutes and $2 for a glass of iced tea. But then I can say that I left the house that day and it makes me feel better. During my darkest times, I wouldn't leave my house for days. It makes a big difference.|
|It is the following sort of a poem, coming from these notebook albums we used to exchange in junior high school:|
"If you ever feel your dreams being shattered,
your hopes fade away,
do not be afraid.
Hero is not the one who wins the battle.
Hero is the one who hides the pain in a smile
and marches forward".
P.S.: Excuse the perhaps poor translation. I translated it from greek (my native language) and it doesn't sound exactly the same. I hope you get the gist though. :) And you can be proud enough to have readers even in Greece!
P.P.S. : I thought that the Bukowski poem was wonderful!
|Mother was a borderline personality social worker, pretend rape victim, with Munchausen disorder. Very vocal about her hatred and contempt for men. Not sure what she imagined I was supposed to grow up to be... |
What helps? Yoga and Hookers (proper independent pros... consent needs to be fulsome and well paid for me to trust it. Frankly that's the only way I believe that yes actually means yes). Yoga fulfills most of my emotional needs.