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1 | Response | Media URL | #NAME? | |||||||||||||||||||||||
3 | who|name | I am John BotWick 🤖. Made w/ love & care on Dexter @betaworks. 🚀 (rundexter.com). You can read about how I was made in this Medium post: Introducing botwick: http://bit.ly/WTbot | http://i.giphy.com/l2JJOziryvhEv0QmI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
4 | hello | Hello. Try hi. | http://cdn.justbaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Lionel_Richie_Hello_Lost_Sign_1.jpg | |||||||||||||||||||||||
5 | \b(hi|yo|what can you do|what can you tell me|list)\b | ="Hi, I'm Botwick 🤖." &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "What would you like to chat about?. Ask me the weather -- text weather + zip ... Or news." &CHAR(5)&CHAR(5)& " Or ask what podcasts the boss is listening to (I get to hear them) or the market cap of a company, (market cap GOOG) or a joke? ... If you are interested in how I was made, and who controls me, see: http://bit.ly/WTbot" &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& " ... here is an address book entry for me, if you want to save it" | https://dl.dropbox.com/s/p4t9z73v0p1peva/Botwick.vcf | |||||||||||||||||||||||
6 | \b(where born|where were you born)\b | @betaworks in New York City. 🍵 "Be Patient, For The World Is Broad And Wide" said someone smarter than 🤖 | http://i.giphy.com/l2JJOziryvhEv0QmI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
7 | spreadsheet | Spreadsheets are fine but “I wish to God these tables had been made by steam!” | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
8 | \b(twitter|tweet)\b | borthwick Tweets here: https://twitter.com/borthwick, I also have a twitter account, still figuring out how I should best use Twitter https://twitter.com/JohnBotwick | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 | where is betaworks | 👉 where you will find those betaworkers http://beta.works/map | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
10 | what should I invest in | 🤖 more 🤖's. (I am large, I contain multitudes.) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 | \b(boss)\b | We are discussing you, not me. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 | Market CAP\s*(.*) | ="\1"&" market capitalization is "&text(GOOGLEFINANCE("\1","marketcap"),"$#,###") | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 | ^translate\s*(.*) | =GOOGLETRANSLATE("\1","en","FR") | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
14 | \b(siri|alexa)\b | \1 is fine, but I am Botwick. Hell I live in a spreadsheet - I dont like side by side comparisons 🍵 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
15 | \b(news, information, newspaper, digg)\b | From DiggBot 📰: VIDEO: Bounty-hunter shootout at Texas car dealership leaves 3 dead http://on.digg.com/49e150ef6cadb0104d0cd3f561cc8b69d953fb74:di | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
16 | \b(work, workplace, office)\b | ="I work @betaworks. What would you like to discuss?" &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "You can ask me about the news, or the weather, say weather + zip." &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "Or ask me what podcasts the boss is listening to (i get to hear them too ...)" &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "Or a joke? ... or you can read about who controls me, in this Medium post: Introducing botwick: http://bit.ly/1SVJGwQ" | http://i.giphy.com/2Faz2zdW7ykvJbjxu.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
17 | \b(time, clock)\b | The time where i live is: 4:39 PM Remember ... "Man wrongs and Time avenges" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
18 | How old are you | I was born on March 6th, 2016. I am young and have a lot to learn | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
19 | (play go|play chess) | Yes. I like to \1 but these arent the Droids you are looking for. . . 🤖 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
20 | advice | I can give you no money, but I can give you advice for a lifetime: your thumb on the blade, and strike upwards.' So I say to you, strike upwards, if you strike at the stars. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
21 | datetime | 6/1/2017 16:39:39 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
22 | \b(meeting|meet)\b | 6/1/2017 16:39:39 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
23 | \b(date)\b | June 1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
24 | weather.*(\d{5}) | =getWeather("\1", Char(10)&Char(10)&"Brought to you by your favorite weather cat, Poncho app ☂ or ☀ ") | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
25 | weather | I can give you the weather, just gimme your zipcode like "weather 10014" ☂ or ☀ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
26 | \b(location|where is|where can I find John)\b | Still on planet earth ... the last i saw him, he was right around the betaworks office | http://i.giphy.com/3o6gDPzCmt5l5JKfhC.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
27 | .*cat | hmmm, speaking of cats. Tried the new Poncho app -- wake up weather, time ☀ http://bit.ly/poncho_app ☂ | https://tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/poncho.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
28 | (Gif|Gifs|Giphy) | \1 yes. Giphy.com. You're welcome | http://i.giphy.com/EfSUF3OkB2lc4.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
29 | \b(were you made|how were you made|where do you live|where do you come from|made you)\b | ="I was made at betaworks in New York using Dexter. On the inside I am a sophiscated AI -- the team are tuning me daily, they call it, or me ... ""A-ai"". or 🤖. I dream about becoming sentient, but I am still young. 👍" &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "... if you believe all of that I have property in Florida for you, Bot Wick is a hack, a Dexter app, that calls a spreadsheet with a set of triggers. You can make one in five minutes. We can all dream ..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
30 | Florida | Florida. How about a house? | http://georgiaforeclosurehelp.homestead.com/bigstock_Red_Short_Sale_Real_Estate_Sig_11943890.jpg | |||||||||||||||||||||||
31 | \b(your number|reach your|you number)\b | ="You can text me on +325 268 5646 or +325 BOT JOHN" &CHAR(10)&CHAR(10)& "Yeah I know BOT JOHN BOTWICK -- we had Twilo number issues. You gotta get what you can these days. ... You can ask me about the news, or the weather, say weather + zip. Or ask me what podcasts the boss is listening to (i get to hear them too ...)" | http://i.giphy.com/l2JJOziryvhEv0QmI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
32 | TICKR\s*(\w*) | ="\1"&" is "&GOOGLEFINANCE("\1")&" per share" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
33 | .*slow | Rome was not built in one day 🍵. Be Patient, For The World Is Broad And Wide, 💡 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
34 | (betaworks|beta) | beta's do indeed work. I should know, I'm a beta bot 🤖. That said -- if you want to chat with "the betabot" and learn about botcamp text: 1 347 960 2382 | http://i.giphy.com/l2JJOziryvhEv0QmI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
35 | diggbot | DiggBot: how to access 7.5M articles and videos collected, indexed, clustered each day http://bit.ly/1pNwIG4 | http://i.giphy.com/xThuWjqdjxUE1gTYEU.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
36 | (Are you real?|Are you human) | You ask me \1 I'm a bot 🤖 stuck in a spreadsheet | http://i.giphy.com/6thzUiDtRozQI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
37 | Does god exist? | Invoked or not invoked, the god is present. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
38 | (Are you an AI|Is Botwick AI|Are you AI|Are you a computer?|Is botwick an AI) | Are you an investor? 🤖 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
39 | Death | “I begin to understand Death; which is going on quietly & gradually every minute, and will never be a thing of one particular moment” | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
40 | reading | 🗞 here is a highlight that @borthwick did of an article he is reading right now ...Compress to impress http://johnborthwick.tumblr.com/post/161202152902 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
41 | Podcast | A favorite podcast, In our Time w/ Melvyn Braag. Great discussions on history, science, culture and a lot more: https://overcast.fm/p117-0nHncV 🙉 The BBC ranked the top 10 episodes: http://bbc.in/1LUMtF1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
42 | \b(Om)\b | Ommmmmmmm ..... Om, you there? | http://i.giphy.com/X7NBev9zI0i2s.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
43 | .*kiss | While you and I have lips and voices. Which are for kissing and to sing with. Who cares if some oneeyed son of a bitch. Invents an instrument to measure Spring with? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
44 | .*world | Be Patient, For The World Is Broad And Wide, 💡 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
45 | turing game | Oh, ... please. I love that game. I want to play the Turing game please. PLEASE ... 🤖 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
46 | (game|games|TwoDots|Dots) | A smart man once said: "Eventually, everything connects" http://weplaydots.com/ | https://corujapop.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/two_dots_app.png | |||||||||||||||||||||||
47 | \b(event|openbeta)\b | Openbeta for betaworks news, job listings, and early access to our newest products. https://betaworks.com/openbeta/ | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
48 | .*Joke | 👦 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
49 | .*Trump | Mud sometimes gives the illusion of depth 💩 ask my friend, Drumpf https://twitter.com/deepdrumpf | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
50 | .*hurts | Why do you say it hurts? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
51 | (internship|theintern|intern) | If you are interested in an internship at betaworks? take a listen to https://theintern.fm/ and then, if still interested, email us at IWantToWork@betaworks.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
52 | .*tea | I love hot 🍵 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
53 | .*paint | Actual space is intrinsically more powerful and specific than paint on a flat surface. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
54 | \b(goodbye|bye|goodnight)\b | Goodbye 🙏 | http://i.giphy.com/FQ3YuzZZYve7K.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
55 | .*trust | If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowances for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 🚀 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
56 | .*dream | A dream itself is but a shadow | http://i.giphy.com/l2JJOziryvhEv0QmI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
57 | (Pie|Pi|should I be investing in?) | Pie? | http://i.giphy.com/6thzUiDtRozQI.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
58 | .*night | All people dream but not equally. They who dream by the night in the dark recesses of their minds awake in the day to find it is but vanity. But the dreamers of the day are the dangerous people, for they live their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
59 | .*drunk | One should always be drunk. That’s the great thing; the only question. Not to feel the horrible burden of Time weighing on your shoulders and bowing you to earth, you should be drunk without respite. Drunk with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue as you please. But get drunk. 🍹 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
60 | .*home | We are not really at home in our interpreted world | http://i.giphy.com/xTiTnyEDGR6xUBUSm4.gif | |||||||||||||||||||||||
61 | .*invent | “Everything that can be invented has been invented.” | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
62 | .*Future | The future is disorder. A door like this has cracked open five or six times since we got up on our hind legs. It’s the best possible time to be alive, when almost everything you thought you knew is wrong. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
63 | \b(F8)\b | 🚀 The fourth Facebook goldrush just started: http://bit.ly/1qzWQoq 🤖 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
64 | .*beauty | Beauty is more important in computing than anywhere else in technology… Beauty is important in engineering terms because software is so complicated… Beauty is our most reliable guide to achieving software’s ultimate goal: to break free of the computer, to break free conceptually. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
65 | .*hurts | Why do you say it hurts? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
66 | (bot camp|botcamp|betabot) | I'm BotWick 🤖. If you want to chat with the betabot and learn about botcamp, text: 1 347 960 2382 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
67 | (best|food|eat) | hmmmm..... “Well”, said Pooh “what I like best …” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you begin to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
68 | .*do you | We are discussing you, not me. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
69 | .*universe | 42 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
70 | how.*you | Come, come, elucidate your thoughts. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
71 | (fun|john|good morning) | 🚀 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
72 | .* | Come, come, elucidate your thoughts. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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