|"Make me feel some kind of way"|
|A worksheet by @SexObsessedLesbian about kinky feelings, headspaces, and ✨vibes✨|
|Part I: As a Dom(me)||Part II: As a Sub|
|About this worksheet:|
| Lots of kink negotiation worksheets focus on the "what" of kink. I'm sure you've seen the yes/no/maybe lists where you can say whether or not you're into spanking or bondage or splooshing or what have you. (And hey, I also made one of those!) But I was missing was a way to express what feelings I wanted out of a kink scene, or what sort of vibes a partner wanted out of an interaction. After all, spanking could make someone feel degraded or make them feel worshipped, and those are two completely different scenes that look the same on your traditional yes/no/maybe worksheet.|
I made this sheet to help me get clarity on my own kink desires, and to kickstart that conversation with my sex partners. This sheet is freely available for use by anyone on the internet, as long as you credit me. Instructions for use are below. I hope this seeds some good conversations and some hot scenes!
|How to use:|
| To use this worksheet, make a copy (File > Make a Copy) and fill out to your heart's content! You can share your responses with partners, and invite them to fill out their own copy.|
This worksheet consists of two parts, "As a Dom(me)" and "As a Sub". For each, you'll rank a list of emotions/headspaces for yourself and your scene partner, 5-1, with five being "strong like" ("I REALLY like to feel X") and one being "strong dislike" ("I really DON'T like to make my partner feel Y"). There's also a "?" option, for "curious and want to try"—a headspace that you're not sure about but intrigued by and would like to experiment with. For details on the rankings, see the Scales tab.
And of course, feel free to adjust the scenarios to fit your dynamic, duplicate these tabs to add additional scenarios, etc. Maybe you want to fill out the worksheet for "in power-neutral sex," "when playing in public", etc. Maybe you're always submissive, but want to fill out the worksheet separately for "as a top (giving pleasure)" and "as a bottom (receiving pleasure)", or "when bratty" and "when good". The sky's the limit!
I recommend making liberal use of the "notes" field to explain the nuances of your answers. If you want to add additional info (e.g. bold columns are things you like when topping and italics are things you like when bottoming), my blessings on you!
Some of the answers may seem mutually exclusive, or might belong to different kinds of scenes, and that's okay; go ahead and mark that you like feeling degraded and you like feeling powerful, and you can tease apart how those two interact in conversations with your partner.
You can edit the list of feelings in the Master List tab to further customize your worksheet.
NOTE: this worksheet is NOT a substitute for negotiation; rather, it's a tool for exploration, and a starting point for conversations and negotiations.
|Sharing results, For Science™|
|I think it would be cool to see how a bunch of different people filled this out. If you'd like to share your finished worksheets for science, send them to me and I'll link them in the Shared Worksheets for Science™ tab for curious pervs to peruse. (All shared worksheets will be anonymized unless you request otherwise.) DM me on Twitter or email me at the address below.|
|About the author:|
| SexObsessedLesbian is a kinkster, kink educator, and content creator based in the Eastern US; she has been dabbling in kink for almost 10 years, nerding out about sex since high school, and making bad puns since approximately forever. Her primary kink is erotic hypnosis, but she also enjoys power play, tease and denial, and lots of other stuff besides. She's had her share of existential crises about being a relatively soft kinkster, and so is extra excited to help people think and talk about the ways they do and don't want to play.|
Find her online (Twitter, erotica, audio files, and more): https://linktr.ee/sexobsessedlesbian
If you have feedback on this worksheet, you can email it to: firstname.lastname@example.org.