ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
1
PartyCommentAuthor
2
# Sustainable AustraliaSustainable Australia Party will blame immigrationLizDolphinfluff
3
Animal Justice PartyAnimal Justice Party are concerned about: rates of human to animal infection; vaccine testing on primates; culls of potential vector species for COVID-19zahribeth
4
Australian Better FamiliesNon-Custodial Dads and their mates over at Australian Better Families: I can't actually make jokes about this one. They’re probably going to kill family members via domestic violence during quarantine for COVID. And if not, bitch about how it has cut into their custody time.zahribeth
5
Australian DemocratsThe Australian Democrats would really love to address COVID-19, and would probably have great policies, if they could only decide who the actual Australian Democrats were.catescates
6
Australian DemocratsCheryl Kernot manages to put out a better action plan on Twitter than all three splinter groups.zahribeth
7
Australian Workers PartyThe Australian Workers Party are concerned about worksite and factory shutdowns due to COVID-19 and casuals losing hours. They suggest you join your union and protest for proper sick leave.zahribeth
8
Below The LineBelow-the-line independent senate candidates will have the most exquisitely gourmet takes, presented in a list of bullet points on their Facebook page. At least one of them will demand an ICAC for the healthcare profession.DrDreHistorian
9
Below The LineAll of them will demand the ICAC.catescates
10
Below The LineNah, a couple want a Royal Commission instead.zahribeth
11
Below The LineOne of them will present their policy entirely via 15 minute rambling YouTube videos. Another is sure it’s the fault of moral weakness among everyone under 55. The third is campaigning on a Ban Corvids platform after being swooped by magpies too many times.zahribeth
12
Bullet Train for AustraliaBullet Train for Australia’s policy is that a bullet train will reduce exposure times for passengers, decreasing the chances of infections, over the current Countrylink options or the recycled air of flying.zahribeth
13
Centre AllianceThe Centre Alliance, No Longer Nick Xenophon Team will cautiously support any government initiatives that provide funding for SA, ask for priority for fever clinics, all while quietly praying Georgina Downer catches COVID-19.zahribeth
14
Christian Democratic Party (Fred Nile Group)The Christian Democratic Party will address this through prayer, of course. But they also want you to know that COVID-19 was sent by God to punish Australia for not being sufficiently homophobic.catescates
15
Citizens Electoral CouncilCitizens Electoral Council is going to 100% blame the British royal family.DrDreHistorian
16
Climate Action! Immigration Action! Accountable Politicians! (formerly Online Direct Democracy, Senator Online)Climate Action! Immigration Action! Accountable Politicians! (Formerly Senator Online and Online Direct Democracy) will change their name to Online Direct Pandemic Action! and will use their fancy software to discern the will of the people.catescates
17
Derryn Hinch’s Justice PartyDerryn Hinch’s Justice Party will demand transparency and campaign for a list of known bearers of infection.catescates
18
Health Australia PartyThe Health Australia Party have a homeopathic vaccination that is already available.catescates
19
Help End Marijuana Prohibition (HEMP Party)HEMP are concerned with... god do I actually have to spell it out? HEMP think marijuana can’t hurt if you’ve got an infection, don’t judge us for smoking, man.zahribeth
20
Help End Marijuana Prohibition (HEMP Party)Every member of the HEMP Party this afternoon: sharing content on Facebook that claims weed cures COVID-19.DrDreHistorian
21
Involuntary Medication Objectors (Vaccination/Fluoride) Party
The Anti Vaxxers will blame the measles vaccine and 5Gjonzey0
22
Involuntary Medication Objectors (Vaccination/Fluoride) Party
The anti-vaxxer wackos (Involuntary Medication Objectors) would like to point out that COVID-19 is clearly a conspiracy to increase vaccine injuries among the population. We probably bred COVID in a lab. Fresh air, bracing walks and a good shot of MMS will cure what ails you.zahribeth
23
Jacqui Lambie NetworkThe Jacqui Lambie Party will demand the best possible treatment for veterans. And they deserve to be treated by Australian born and trained doctors.catescates
24
Jacqui Lambie NetworkDon't forget that the testing kits must go to Tasmania first.DrDreHistorian
25
Katter's Australia PartyKatter’s Australia Party would like to blame the crocs. Also those city people for living close together, which just breeds disease. COVID can be contained by everyone moving to the country and staying on their properties for a month, like when his voters get cut off by flooding.zahribeth
26
Love Australia or LeaveLove Australia or Leave’s policy is just to remove immigration and international visitors. If nobody comes in, we wouldn’t have got COVID. We should ban people from arriving in Australia.zahribeth
27
Natural Law PartyIt's a shame the Natural Law Party are no longer around or they could have deployed yogic flyers to protect us.DJWolfpanther
28
Non-Custodial Parents Party (Equal Parenting)Non-Custodial Dads and their mates over at Australian Better Families: I can't actually make jokes about this one. They’re probably going to kill family members via domestic violence during quarantine for COVID. And if not, bitch about how it has cut into their custody time.zahribeth
29
Reason AustraliaReason Australia will put out ads full of hilariously smutty double entendres containing surprisingly sensible information about self-quarantine. They will definitely include information on safe phone and Skype sex.catescates
30
Republican Party of AustraliaAlrighty then. The Republican Party of Australia is too disorganised to blame anyone very effectively, but they suspect the unions are to blame.catescates
31
Science PartyThe Science Party wants to explain to you how to lower COVID transmission rates. They will not shut up about it. They also sound mildly smug about closing religious venues.zahribeth
32
Secular Party of AustraliaThe Secular Party of Australia will address COVID-19 by closing churches, because religion is the deadliest virus of them all. (But also because large groups of people shouldn’t be congregating during a pandemic. Two birds, one stone.)catescates
33
Shooters, Fishers and Farmers PartyThe Huntin’ Shootin’ and Fishin’ party will blame feral animals and select native species, and offer to help deal with the problem in return for certain considerations in relation to gun laws and marine parks.catachretical
34
Socialist Equality PartyThe Socialist Equality Party is going to build an independent political movement of the working class to address COVID-19. They blame capitalism. And for once, Comrades, they are not entirely wrong.catescates
35
The Great Australian PartyThe Great Australian Party is convinced COVID-19 is a plot to get them to pay taxes. They prepare several sov-cit documents for the government that still require Australian hospitals to treat them, but only by citizen medical practitioners. It’s the dirty foreigners fault.zahribeth
36
The Great Australian PartyYou cannot get COVID-19 if you are exposed to the virus in an admiralty court.DrDreHistorian
37
The Great Australian PartyI mean, you can only put the ALL CAPS Strawman into quarantine anyway, not the flesh and blood human being...catescates
38
The Great Australian PartyThey will also appeal to the Queen’s Privy Council if anyone tries to make them go into quarantine.catescates
39
The Great Australian PartyThe paper personhood enforced by the government might have COVID-19 and be ordered into self quarantine, but I, a free and natural man, have rights under the Magna Carta to do whatever I want and am perfectly healthy.zahribeth
40
The Outdoor Recreation Party (Stop the Greens)The Outdoor Recreation Party (Stop the Greens) will cut to the chase and straight-up blame marine parks.DrDreHistorian
41
The Save the Planet PartyThe Save the Planet Party, still not yet registered, advocate more pandemics to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.DrDreHistorian
42
The Small Business PartyThe Small Business Party will cut red tape and get rid of payroll tax. This may or may not fix COVID-19, but they will do it anyway.catescates
43
TheNoTaxFreeElectricity.ComMy very good friends The No Tax Free Electricity dot Com Party (why am I an expert on him? Why?) are making sure that our living costs will be paid for by our Bank of Australia jobs. The perpetual motion machines will help supply free electricity while people can’t work. BUSES.zahribeth
44
TheNoTaxFreeElectricity.ComBUT WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT TRAINS WITH COVID-19????DrDreHistorian
45
United Australia PartyClive Palmer's United Australia Party will offer immunity from prosecution ... sorry, from COVID-19 for you and up to three (3) loved ones in return for a one-off $13,999 membership fee (+ $179.95 processing charges) and a monthly 'donation' of $1000.catachretical
46
VOTEFLUX.ORG | Upgrade Democracy!Presumably the VOTEFLUX people would have a response determined by public vote through their app. Couldn't see that going wrong at all.DJWolfpanther
47
Western Australia PartyNot if the Western Australian Party has anything to say about it! You eastern states people have stolen enough from us, you can’t have our clinics too! (I am certain the pandemic is the fault of the eastern states)catescates
48
Western Australia PartyCannot wait for the WA separation movement to revive on the grounds that it is the only way to protect the western third of the continent from COVID-19.DrDreHistorian
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100