Fuhnny Employment Application
Welcome to the Team! Here at GloboCorp inc. which is a subsidiary of Factionalized LLC, which in turn is a partner company to ReelSoundingCompanyName welcomes you to the team! Please fill out the following questionnaire within the allotted 20 minute time limit. Your answers matter. Please be clear and decisive with your answers.
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Your Name *
Who The Fuck Are You?
Date of Birth
When were you born?
Date of Death
When will you die? (if Pyschic or have access to time travel, or plans for suicide)
Male / Female / Other *
Choose your Gender from these Options
In 30 to 33 words, Describe your plan for world dominaiton
You can also account for your particular country if you have no plans for WORLD domination
Who Sent You?
Don't Lie to Us!
You're clearly lying...
WHO SENT YOU!
Clear selection
Give your opinion as to the whereabouts of Carmen San Diego
Any location is possible
Please Check if any of the Following Conditions apply to you:
If the condition is hereditary please check it off as well
Morality
We have to gauge that you're of the proper moral fiber to work with Fuhnny.com. As such we've prepared a few brief questions on how you would handle various touchy situations.
How would you react to the following in the workplace
(1-5) 1 Being Extremely Happily, 5 Being Extremely Violently
1
2
3
4
5
A Friendly Hello
An Unfriendly Hello
A random hug
A "Good Game" slap on the ass
Head Butt
Colombian Lap Dance
Loud French-Hating Racial Slurs
Flash Mobs
An Airhorn going off very close to your face...
Clear selection
Please Rate your Responses to the Following
(1-5) 1 Being Morally Right, 5 Being Morally Wrong
1
2
3
4
5
Murder
Assisted Suicide
Theft
Theft with a good reason
Theft with very little reason, or cause you feel like it
Drinking Too much Alcohol
Helping a Coworker Kill his/her Boss
Driving over 95 MPH to reach a dentist appointment
Cheating on Me
Worshipping False Idols
Clear selection
Personal Details
While Fuhnny.com does NOT discriminate in any way, we just want to make sure you're not particularly Dutch, or too tall to fit through our doors. Please keep in mind that we are an equal opportunity employer and will keep all this information private. Unless it's really funny or surprising. Then we might show the *Receptionist or the *Fed-Ex guy on a whim.

*Full Disclosure: We're pretty sure the receptionist is bad at keeping secrets. Also the Fed-Ex guy we hardly know but he seems decent. In any case we certainly don't mail these to your Mom or the Libyan Government.
Have you ever been convicted of a Felony
We have, so don't be ashamed...
Clear selection
If you have been convicted please explain the nature of the crime
Pick up to 2 that most closely resembles your situation
You're walking through the desert and you find a tortoise...
Select the Proper Response
Clear selection
Do You Know What a Turtle is?
Select the Proper Response
Clear selection
Tell Me About Your Mother
Select the Proper Response
Clear selection
Choose the Best Three Descriptives of your Work Ethic and Personality
(1st Word)
Choose the Best Three Descriptives of your Work Ethic and Personality
(2nd Word)
Choose the Best Three Descriptives of your Work Ethic and Personality
(3rd Word)
Your Favorite Color
Choose One
Clear selection
Describe yourself in ONE word
I said ONE
You're all Done!
Thank you for applying to Fuhnny.com - We will evaluate your response and get back to you. If you want a full report on how you did Please enter your Email address. You'll receive a summary of your entry as well as some inappropriate photos of badgers we found. They're pretty messed up. It sounds like you don't want to see them, but, you WANT to see these. It's like someone hoarded them and didn't have food for them and then just threw a bunch of uncooked bacon into the biggest pile and they started to fight, but a kid wandered in... it's ... it's pretty messed up. We might have to delete these. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Your Email Address
We'll do WHATEVER we want with this...seriously... your funeral
Submit
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