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Timeline / Major EventsJane (GG)Jake (GT)Roxy (TG)Dirk (TT)Auto Responder (AR)BrobotSquarewaveLil CalPoppop CrockerGrandma EnglishAlpha MomAlpha BroThe CondesceGuy FieriJay and DopeGod Cat (GCat)Jack NoiruranianUmbra (UU)undyingUmbrage (uu)
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c. 1910[6747] Arrives on Earth, becomes the Baroness of Crockercorp, manipulates the human population
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[6758] Raised by the Condesce[6758 / 6747] Raised by the Condesce[6758 / 6747] Raises Grandma English and Poppop
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[6758] Kills Poppop and Grandma's dog
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[6758] Runs away from home, takes the surname English
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[6759] Founds Skaianet, brands it after Lord English
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[6748] Breeds lusii in secret
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[6748] Attempts to breed trolls, sees all of them get killed by Gl'bgolyb
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[6755] Builds the house on Hellmurder Island
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[6760] Skaianet goes bankrupt
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c. 2004[6755] Goes off to study the ruins, gets stabbed to death by the Condesce, tries to drag herself back home[6755] Stabs Grandma English to death
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[6755] Finds Grandma English's body, hears his house get blown up[6755] Body is found by Jake[6755] Blows up Grandma English and Jake's house
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[6757] Burns Grandma English's body, stores the ashes in an urn in the ruins[6757] Body is burned, ashes are stored in the ruins
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[6757] Decides to live in his room globe in the jungle
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[6761] Releases the CotL books[6761] Releases the SBaHJ movies
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11 / 11 / 2011[6748] Watches the Battleship Condescension[6747] Makes her presence and agenda known to the world
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[6761] CotL movies are released[6762] Steps up his game at making movies[6748] Outlaws traditional reproduction, sets up a system similar to the drones
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[6763] Prepares for Roxy's arrival in the future[6763] Prepares for Dirk's arrival in the future[6750] Starts melting the ice caps, gradually flooding the world
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[6750] Replaces the drones with robotic versions[6764] Becomes a member of the U.S. Supreme Court, makes other justices mysteriously disappear, rewrites the constitution
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[6764] Becomes the High Chaplain of Interstellar War
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2024[6765] Assists Jay and Dope in their election campaign[6765] Are elected as Dual-Presidents of the U.S.
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[6766] Organizes the Hilarocaust[6766] Carry out their idiotic whims on the populace
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c. 2036[6769] Challenges Guy Fieri to a showdown, gouges his eyes out, rides his torso down a bloody waterfall[6766] Challenges Jay and Dope to a rooftop showdown, kills them both, ollies outie[6769] Accepts Alpha Mom's challenge, has his eyes gouged out, is ridden down a bloody waterfall[6766] Accept Alpha Bro's challenge, get killed
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[6772 / 6753] Is in complete control of Earth
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[6772] Challenges the Condesce, gets stabbed to death with a trident[6772] Challenges the Condesce, gets stabbed to death with a broken sword[6773] Kills both Alpha Mom and Alpha Bro[6773] Being mind-controlled by the Condesce
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c. 2322[6751] Starts bringing more Carapacians to Earth
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Humans become extinct
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???[6746] Gets sent a version of Pesterchum that allows him to communicate with Jane and Jake, presumably from UU[6746] Presumably sends Dirk a version of Pesterchum that allows him to communicate with Jane and Jake
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Jake's birthday, 2009[6744] (Bubble G) (TT) Gets sent Brobot's head, learns that Dirk's from the future, assembles the Brobot[6743] (Bubble G) (GT) Sends Brobot's head to Jake, confesses that he's from the future, explains about the Brobot[6746] (Bubble G) Finished head is sent to Jake, gets assembled, goes into Stalking Mode and runs off
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[6747] (Bubble G) (TT) Listens to Dirk explain about the Condesce and the future[6747] (Bubble G) (GT) Explains all about how the Condesce came to power and what the future is like
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[6775] (Bubble G) Realizes he's in a dream bubble
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[6931] Reluctantly allows uu to place his king and queen in reversed positions[6931] Nags UU to start with his king and queen in reversed positions
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[6929] Plays chess with uu, checkmates him, argues that he's not playing fair, continues playing, nearly gets checkmated[6929] Plays chess with UU, gets checkmated, switches the hats on his king and queen, continues playing, nearly checkmates UU
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[6933] Gets frustrated, knocks over the board, blocks uu[6933] Interprets the board being wrecked as UU forfeiting the match
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[6877] Gets told to kill UU's dream self[6877] Buys Jack Noir out with candy, instructs him to kill UU's dream self
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[6877] Stabs UU's dream self to death[6875] Dream self gets killed
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11 / 11 / 2010[6865] (uu) Agrees to draw porn for uu, draws all kinds of affectionate pairing action between his friends[6867] Comes over to Dirk to see what he's drawing, brings him some towels[6866] Sitting in Dirk's room
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