| A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | |
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1 | Timestamp | Last, First | Period | Sources | 10 in-text citations | Variety of in-text citations | Common in-text citation errors | Writing Errors | Essay Format | Reference List - errors | Readability | Miscellany | Grade | ||||||||
2 | AlvarezM | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all in-text citations match the Reference List. | ||||||||||
3 | AnguianoA | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | (Student Aid) in the text needs to match the reference list. | ||||||||||
4 | ArcosA | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.., When authors were mention in the sentence, they were properly introduced. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | There are grammar errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good voice. Good tone. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Well written | Error: "finish their high school career strong" - strongly = you need an adverb "prepares students for the rest of their life" - lives = plural | ||||||||||
5 | ArcosA | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
6 | ArjasbiK | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | The in-text and reference list citations need to match. | ||||||||||
7 | ArmstrongJ | Period 4 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), did not use year | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Matter-of-fact tone. Little excitement., Incomplete essay. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
8 | AvinaBeltranM | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | The in-text citations need to match the reference list. | ||||||||||
9 | AzcunaC | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion., Intro contains some awkward sentences. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The reference list is incomplete. Only 3 of the sources used are listed. | ||||||||||
10 | BakerL | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.., When authors were mention in the sentence, they were properly introduced. | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23), In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), missing a comma = to be won” (2007 para. 6). | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - singular antecedent... plural pronoun - a student should do their best | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error -Date does not follow name, UCLA. (n.d.). - you provided a date for this reference in text. | Average high school writing | Error: " a student might realize what classes they like" - antecedent is singular In-text citation error - (2013, pp. 193) - pp = more than one page. UCLA. (n.d.). - n.d. is ONLY used in MLA. Find the date. (Ucla 2014) (Ucla 2014) - you need a comma. UCLA all caps "grown in popularity greatly when stated, " = when is not right. (Schubert, pp. 193). - date? I think you are wrong = "College is like having a soul mate, there may seem like many options that are perfect, but in the end there only turns out to be one that is the right match for that person. " | ||||||||||
11 | BakerL | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | An author is spelled wrong. | ||||||||||
12 | BeltranJ | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Parts not worded well | There are many spelling, punctuation and grammar errors like: With the students always being expected to follow orders and not take initiation. | ||||||||||
13 | BenitezC | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The Intro and Conclusion are awkward. | ||||||||||
14 | BergrenN | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The in-text and reference list citations need to match. error: (University of California at Los Angeles, 2014). and from the ref. list: Tuition and fees (2014). | ||||||||||
15 | BibasP | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) , No school websites | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc) | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good conclusion. | error: (“Work More”, 2014) and AIE don't match | Average high school writing | Religion is an important issue in the introduction but is not mentioned in the conclusion. | ||||||||||
16 | BobbsJ | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Incomplete essay. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
17 | BrackenburyA | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citationserror - did not use (p.), In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good conclusion. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
18 | BrookerS | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use any citations | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Degree Directory was cited as (Scholarships, 2014) in the essay. | ||||||||||
19 | BrownC | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The in-text and reference list citations need to match. Ref. List: Ofoyuru, D.T. & Too-Okema, L. (2011) and in-text: In the research article "Strategies of Managing Student Discipline in Secondary Schools in Gully District", it's stated, | ||||||||||
20 | BurnerK | Period 5 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Transitions need work., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needed | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all the sources in the reference list are used in the essay. One of the in-text citations does not match the reference list | ||||||||||
21 | CardenasS | Period 5 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.), In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact). | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -entries not alphabetized , Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | There are many spelling and grammar errors. The Reference List is incomplete. | ||||||||||
22 | CassidyE | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | One in-text citation does match the Reference List. | ||||||||||
23 | CastellanosL | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Parts not worded well | |||||||||||
24 | CastilloA | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Matter-of-fact tone. Little excitement., Conclusion needed | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized , Reference List error -incomplete reference, put initials first | Average high school writing | Use more examples for each factor. Some in-text citations do not match the reference list. When you use the author's name in the sentence, you do not use the name again inside the parenthetical citation at the end of the sentence. | ||||||||||
25 | CastillonB | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The University of Oregon. (2014) is not in the essay. | ||||||||||
26 | CervantesB | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | One in-text citation doesn't match the reference list. Overall, good work. | ||||||||||
27 | ChangS | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | When you use the author's name in the sentence, don't use the name again inside the parenthetical citation at the end of the sentence. | ||||||||||
28 | CharmelloD | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Matter-of-fact tone. Little excitement., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | There is one source listed in the Reference list that is not cited in the body of the essay. | ||||||||||
29 | Chavez J | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citationserror - did not use (p.), used "web" | Minimal or no writing errors. | Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Not all in-text citations match the Reference List. | ||||||||||
30 | ChicaK | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
31 | CoveyS | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use any citations | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Transitions need work., Authors/sources were introduced well., Conclusion needs work. | Not all in-text citations match the Reference list. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
32 | CovingtonK | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Transitions need work., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | There is a source listed in the reference list that is not cited in the body of the essay. The conclusion should refer back to the phrase in the introduction: time flies. | ||||||||||
33 | CrewS | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | One in-text citation doe not match the Reference List. | ||||||||||
34 | DaCostaLimaI | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
35 | Dahlj | Period 4 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | error: The in-text and reference list citations do not always match. | ||||||||||
36 | DaSilvaJ | Period 4 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Conclusion needed | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
37 | DavisB | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD | Good Intro., Transitions need work., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference, An APA Reference List is needed. | Average high school writing | The conclusion should refer back to introduction. | ||||||||||
38 | DenmanK | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -entries not alphabetized , Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | The in-text and reference list citations need to match. | ||||||||||
39 | DoeringR | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors., run-on sentences | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Parts not worded well | |||||||||||
40 | DomnikovA | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23) | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
41 | DraperE | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | format error: (pp. 14, 2013). | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | APA format errors | Average high school writing | Some in-text citations do not match the reference list. The conclusion should refer back to the introduction about what college means to the future and that there are factors that go in to choosing a college. | ||||||||||
42 | EbnerA | Period 5 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, 2nd person was used in the ast paragraph | Good Transitions., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Introduction is needed. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
43 | ErnestS | Period 4 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Standard - (Smith, 2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc) | Intro needs work., Transitions need work., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
44 | FanielM | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Transitions need work., Authors/sources were introduced well., Matter-of-fact tone. Little excitement., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Good APA format | ||||||||||
45 | FiskR | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Good APA format. | ||||||||||
46 | FleishmanN | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Introduction and conclusion are needed. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Incomplete essay. 2 sources in the reference list are not cited in the body of the essay. | ||||||||||
47 | ForsytheK | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Some in-text citations do not match the Reference List. | ||||||||||
48 | FowlerA | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
49 | FreemanJ | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
50 | GertychP | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | One source in the reference list is not in the body of the essay. | ||||||||||
51 | GiangrandeN | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact). | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The conclusion should refer back to the introduction and the ivy league colleges. Good APA format. | ||||||||||
52 | GomezJ | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized , Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | The introduction and conclusion should refer to each other | ||||||||||
53 | GonzalezM | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The sources in the reference list need to match the in-text citations. In the essay, Fresno should be CSU Fresno. I could not find Colorado State University in the essay. The conclusion should refer back to the introduction and the acceptance letters. | ||||||||||
54 | GravesN | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needed | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | UCLA is cited in the essay but is not listed in the reference list. | ||||||||||
55 | GrundmanJ | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
56 | GutierrezI | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | The introduction and conclusion contain some awkward sentences, consider rewriting them. | ||||||||||
57 | HaleE | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needed | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
58 | HendricksH | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - singular antecedent... plural pronoun - a student should do their best, Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good conclusion., Introduction is needed. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
59 | HepworthD | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Watch out for awkward sentences like: Choos my a college with the major a student wants to get is important to consider. | ||||||||||
60 | HogoboomW | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needed | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | One source cited in the essay is not in the reference list. | ||||||||||
61 | HongoS | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
62 | HoustonA | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all the in-text sources match the reference list. | ||||||||||
63 | JacobsonK | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
64 | JavenC | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
65 | JermanD | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all the in-text and reference list citations match. | ||||||||||
66 | JimenezC | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Well written | Good Job | ||||||||||
67 | JohnsonJ | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc) | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | NPR and O' Connell do not match between the in-text and reference list citations. College names should be written out, not just initials. | ||||||||||
68 | JuliusA | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | One of the sources is not in the reference list. | ||||||||||
69 | KayL | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | in-text and reference list citations need to match. The introduction mentioned 3 factors as most important but gave equal time in the essay to 2 others. | ||||||||||
70 | KramerK | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference | Average high school writing | The in-text and the reference citations need to match. | ||||||||||
71 | KurkeB | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Transitions need work., Conclusion needed | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference, 4 sources listed | Parts not worded well | One cited source not included in reference list. | ||||||||||
72 | LaoJ | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
73 | LavoieE | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - Used first name (Smith, Robin, 2009, p. 23) | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Not all in-text citations match the Reference list. | Average high school writing | The conclusion needs to refer back to the introduction and the "popular schools". | ||||||||||
74 | LayanaJ | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | Not all the in-text citations match the reference list. | ||||||||||
75 | LeeK | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Good conclusion. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
76 | LeeS | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23), In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), error: used first initial | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized , only 2 souces listed. | Parts not worded well | The in-text sources need to match the reference list. | ||||||||||
77 | lemusK | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.), In-text citations error - Used first name (Smith, Robin, 2009, p. 23) | Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Authors/sources were not introduced., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Matter-of-fact tone. Little excitement., Conclusion needs work. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The in-text and reference list sources need to match. Arpan, Feagins, Bryant Allen, and Cleary were in one but not the other. | ||||||||||
78 | LeonB | Period 1 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
79 | LeonD | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
80 | LewisH | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
81 | LiangL | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The introduction is dull and lacks the excitement that i sense in the conclusion. Consider rewriting the introduction. | ||||||||||
82 | LopezH | Period 2 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Conclusion needed | Only 5 sources | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
83 | ManouchehryS | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Introduction and conclusion are needed. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
84 | MarksC | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Transitions need work., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Parts not worded well | |||||||||||
85 | MartinezA | Period 2 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error -entries not alphabetized | Average high school writing | An author's name is misspelled in the reference list. | ||||||||||
86 | MartinezD | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | In both the conclusion and the introduction, the students are encouraged to think out the reason for applying. This concept is overpowered by the tone of scrambling, rushing, intimidation and pressuring. Consider editing the intro and conclusion. | ||||||||||
87 | McAlister | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | In-text and reference list citations need to match. | ||||||||||
88 | McCleanM | Period 4 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | There is a sentence where Martha O'Connell is quoted but Cheney is cited.(Cheney, 2014). | ||||||||||
89 | McCleanM | Period 3 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Minimal or no writing errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Good job. | ||||||||||
90 | McCulloughTaylorM | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Author in text - According to Smith.... (2009, p. 23), In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use year (Smith, p. 23), In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23), In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Good Transitions., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -Date does not follow name, Reference List error -incomplete reference | Parts not worded well | The in-text and reference list sources need to match. Smith, Collins, Boeckenstedt, Clopton, Schubert, and Williams are in one place but not the other | ||||||||||
91 | MedfordB | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good commentaries were NOT offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Consider rewriting the introduction and the conclusion so they work together. | ||||||||||
92 | MonroyE | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - misplaced punctuation - ... the holiday." (Smith, 2009, p. 23) - PERIODS SHOULD BE PLACE AT THE END OF THE PARENTHESIS | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needed | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all in-text citations match the reference list. | ||||||||||
93 | MontalvoM | Period 4 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | The last sentence needs work. If the creature goes ignored, they will come out from behind and turn into the worst thing imaginable. | ||||||||||
94 | MontaniC | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citationserror - did not use (p.) | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar. | Good Intro., body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact). | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all in-text and reference list citations match. | ||||||||||
95 | MooreB | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Good conclusion. | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Not all in-text and reference list citations match. | ||||||||||
96 | MostertW | Period 1 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | Used a good variety of In-text citations.. | In-text citations error - used url (www.amazon.com) | Writing error - used Schafferisms - "this means that" "this shows that" "for example" etc. to introduce CD, Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Intro needs work., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Conclusion needs work. | Reference List error - misnamed, Reference List error -incomplete reference | Parts not worded well | Kahlenberg was used as an in-text source but was not included in the reference list. UCLA and Pomona were not cited correctly. | ||||||||||
97 | Narumi | Period 5 | There were 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | body paragraphs ddid not make good arguments., Good Transitions., Refer back to or delete the candy store comparison. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Not all in-text and Reference List citations match. | ||||||||||
98 | NavarroT | Period 1 | There were not 6 sources - penalty. | no citations used | In-text citations - did not use any citations | no in-text citations | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar. | Intro needs work., Conclusion needs work. | No Reference List | Average high school writing | |||||||||||
99 | NebelG | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | Yes - used at least 10 citations | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | Minimal or no in-text citation errors. | Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Authors/sources were introduced well., Good commentaries were offered for each concrete detail (quote/fact)., Good conclusion. | Reference List error - misnamed | Average high school writing | Did not cite any college websites. | ||||||||||
100 | NegrateR | Period 3 | There were NOT 3 chapters from the DeVitis book and 3 college web sites. (May substitute O'Connell article for one) | No - 10 citations are not used in the paper | In-text citations - did not use Split - Smith (2009) indicated that.... (p. 23) | In-text citations error - did not use commas (Smith 2009 p. 23) | Writing error - used 2nd person (you, your, yourself, etc), Writing error - poor grammar., Writing error - punctuation/spelling errors. | Good Intro., Body paragraphs support the thesis and make good arguments., Good Transitions., Conclusion needed | Minimal or no errors in Reference List. | Average high school writing | Incomplete essay. |