Introduction, Conclusion, and Transitions
Objectives:
CO:
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LO:
1.
Revise Hook and Introduction
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Aaron used to be a good kid, but he started hanging out with bad kids and began acting up.
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Not specific!
Too boring!
So what?!
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Tell me about a SPECIFIC event or time he acted up...
Aaron used to be a good kid, but he started hanging out with bad kids and began acting up.
Once, he even got suspended.
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Use some IMAGERY and DETAILS to Spice it Up
Aaron used to be a good kid, but he started hanging out with bad kids and began acting up.
Once, he even got suspended.
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follow the rules
trouble makers
One day, he and these new friends began goofing around during lunch. They started pushing and shoving - messing around like teen boys do. However, Aaron got a little carried away and pushed someone into a table and food flew everywhere! “What? I didn’t do nothing,” he replied defiantly when called down to the office. He slouched in the chair in front of the Assistant Principal’s desk and glowered. Of course, Aaron ended up suspended for two days.
EXPLAIN how this connects to your claim:
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Aaron used to follow the rules but he started hanging out with trouble makers and began acting up. One day, he and these new friends began goofing around during lunch. They started pushing and shoving - messing around like teen boys do. However, Aaron got a little carried away and pushed someone into a table and food flew everywhere! “What? I didn’t do nothing,” he replied defiantly when called down to the office. He slouched in the chair in front of the Assistant Principal’s desk and glowered. Of course, Aaron ended up suspended for two days. If it hadn’t been for these new “friends” of his, Aaron would never have been involved in the lunch debacle and would still be suspension-free. This is just one example of how strong an influence (for good or bad) friends can have on a person.
Look at What We’ve Changed:
From:
Aaron used to be a good kid, but he started hanging out with bad kids and began acting up.
To:
Aaron used to follow the rules but he started hanging out with trouble makers and began acting up. One day, he and these new friends began goofing around during lunch. They started pushing and shoving - messing around like teen boys do. However, Aaron got a little carried away and pushed someone into a table and food flew everywhere! “What? I didn’t do nothing,” he replied defiantly when called down to the office. He slouched in the chair in front of the Assistant Principal’s desk and glowered. Of course, Aaron ended up suspended for two days. If it hadn’t been for these new “friends” of his, Aaron would never have been involved in the lunch debacle and would still be suspension-free. This is just one example of how strong an influence (for good or bad) friends can have on a person.
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1I.
Write a Conclusion
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A conclusion paragraph has 3 essential parts:
Restate the CLAIM
Connect your main points and explain how they prove your claim (SUMMARIZE)
Universal Application/ Call to Action
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Concluding Paragraph
The job of the concluding paragraph is to show that you’ve proven your claim. At the bare minimum, the paragraph repeats the claim:
Claim: Building weekly emotional check ins and conversations into class time is a very effective method in the fight against depression because it gives students a support system, it creates a sense of acceptance, and it gives them a venue for discussing their struggles.
Concluding Statement: In order to battle depression effectively, weekly emotional check ins and conversations need to be integrated into class time because they give students a support system, create a sense of acceptance, and give students a venue for discussing their struggles.
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On a 4 point scale, this would score a 2 (developing).
Concluding Paragraph
A proficient concluding paragraph takes into account what the reader has already read and moves beyond repeating the claim.
In order to battle depression effectively, weekly emotional check ins and conversations need to be integrated into class time because they give students a support system, create a sense of acceptance, and give students a venue for discussing their struggles. Studies have shown that close friendships and adult support systems help identify and address depression in teens. When everyone discusses their ups and downs, the struggle becomes the norm, so teens will feel more accepted without trying to hide their problems. Finally, having a safe space to discuss struggles can be therapeutic and ease some of the day-to-day symptoms of depression.
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On a 4 point scale, this would score a 3 (proficient).
Concluding Paragraph
An advanced concluding paragraph goes beyond summarizing and extends the claim. One way to do this is to apply the idea of the claim universally.
In order to battle depression effectively, weekly emotional check ins and conversations need to be integrated into class time because they give students a support system, create a sense of acceptance, and give students a venue for discussing their struggles. Studies have shown that close friendships and adult support systems help identify and address depression in teens. When everyone discusses their ups and downs, the struggle becomes the norm, so teens will feel more accepted without trying to hide their problems. Finally, having a safe space to discuss struggles can be therapeutic and ease some of the day-to-day symptoms of depression. Once schools acknowledge the increased stress and anxiety facing our teens today, they can implement appropriate programs. Reducing the stressors through a simple check in and conversation will not only improve teens’ mental health, but also their academic performance. Happy, engaged students are better learners and will become more productive citizens.
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On a 4 point scale, this would score a 4 (advanced).
1II.
Transitions
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Transitions
Transitions are words or phrases used to show the relationships between ideas and sentences.
We use them to connect our sentences together so they don’t feel disjointed - if you ever talk about the “flow” of a paper, or had a teacher refer to that, transitions contribute to this “flow.”
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Examples of Transitions:
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NOTE: Different transitions can change the relationship between ideas!
How do these two sentences differ in meaning?
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Fill in the Blanks with Transitions:
For some people, high school and college are a waste of time. _____________________ a friend of mine was an A student throughout high school. ____________________ he was accepted into college without any trouble. He studied hard for four years. _________________________ he received a degree and entered the job market. _________________________ he was unable to get a job in his field of study, even though he applied everywhere. _______________________ he was forced to apply for a job which required none of the skills he had obtained in school. ____________________ I have become convinced that high school and college are not always the best preparation for the real world.
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