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Home Visit Workshop

The Spirituality of the Home Visit

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“In the first Circular Letter of this term of office, I could not fail to mention the fundamental theme of home visits to families in need, which is the core activity of the Vincentian Conferences. Rosalie Rendu taught the founders the right way to meet with the families in need and encouraged these visits in an evangelical spirit; they should be the opportunity for the Vincentians to become friends of People in need, involving themselves in their unfortunate circumstances, sympathizing with the personal dramas of each one, with an affectionate and transformative attitude. This spirit should prevail in our Vincentian visits, alleviating every form of poverty we meet in the exercise of our missionary service.”

Circular Letter, January 2017

Renato LIMA DE OLIVEIRA 16th General President

“…visiting families is not as easy as it seems; instructions in this regard are extremely useful, and it would be good to repeat them.“

Frédéric Ozanam to Francois Lallier (who was then President General)�October 5, 1837

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Ask participants to meditate on the image as you read the following.

A MEDITATION ON THE ICON OF FREDERIC OZANAM ON A HOME VISIT (By Sister Kieran Kneaves, DC)

And so, let us meditate on the icon “The Home Visit.” It is important to know that we don’t pray at an icon, but through an icon. Icons show a way, they guide our eyes on a journey around the image and lead us into contemplation. And so looking at the icon, first we see:

In the doorway we see Frederic, dressed in his academic robes, making a home visit in the Mouffetard district in Paris, on a cold and damp winter day. Frederic would not have worn his professorial robes to a home visit, but the icon captures the truth that he was a teacher and a mentor.

Inside the dark, dirt floor home we see a:

Mother, holding a baby, who offers her hand in welcome to Frederic and he gently grasps her hand in compassion.
Looking carefully in front of the mother, we see a small little girl hugging Frederic in friendship, because she recognizes and trusts him. Frederic has been there many times before.
Our eyes move to the left where we see a Grandmother, holding her cane in one hand, and reaching out in gratitude.
In the corner beside the grandmother, we see a small stove with an unlit candle sitting on it, indicating that there is no fire in the stove. The grandmother and the mother are both wearing shawls telling us that their home is very cold.

Looking further at the icon, we see that Frederic brings two students with him:

The first student is holding a book and a tablet. He has come to tutor the shy and cautious young boy that he sees standing behind his mother.
As we look we can see that the young boy is gazing directly at the student, and we can feel the expectation and hope that is in his heart.
The other student is carrying a basket of bread and food to give to the family. We see him looking out, seeing so many other families who are hungry and suffering. He is wishing he had more to give.
Together these 2 students capture Frederic’s call for justice and charity…the same call we hear today to serve those living in poverty through systemic change

Knowing how Frederic stood on the shoulders of giants who had loved life into him and taught him how to live his Vincentian Vocation, looking deeper into the center background of the icon, we see:

Sr. Rosalie Rendu in the white wings of the Daughter of Charity. As she mentored Frederic, he is now mentoring others to love and serve with a Vincentian heart.
Behind Rosalie, we can see the top hat of Emmanuel Bailly, who also guided and mentored Frederic and the founding members to “Go to the Poor”.

Take a moment to contemplate the Providence of God in your own life:

When did you hear the challenge to “Go to the Poor?
How did you discover that you had a Vincentian Heart?
Who have been your teachers and mentors?
Who are you inviting and mentoring?
What does justice and charity in systemic change call you to do?

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Today’s Workshop

Formation vs. Training

Traditions, Guidelines & the Rule

Your Participation!

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One Rule Today

CLIENT

Friend

Brother

Sister

Dave

Neighbor

Those in Need

Those We Serve

Susan

John

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What Does a Home Visit Look Like?

In the Vincentian Spirit

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Let’s Begin at the End

What do we need to know?

Whiteboard Exercise

What do our friends need to know?

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Role Play

Two volunteers!

15 minutes – the “middle” of the home visit

Discussion:

Did you learn what you needed to know?
What might you do differently?

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Ask for two volunteers to be the home visit team – preferably one man and one woman.

Set three chairs in front (or center) of the room.

Ask all to sit – we are beginning this visit after you’ve already come in the door. Our purpose here is just to go through a conversation. Use the “Dave Profile notes” to help you answer the team’s questions. This isn’t a test to see if they can find out everything on that sheet! That is just to help you give consistent answers to the questions that you are asked!

Afterwards, with the help of the rest of the group, figure out if the visitors, and the neighbor, have learned what we think they needed to learn. Be sure to give big thanks to the volunteers who were bold enough to perform for the group!

Be sure to guide the feedback so that it is offered in the most constructive way! Not “they did this wrong…” but “I might have approached it this way…”

Emphasize that role play is a very artificial environment, and we all would behave a little differently on a real home visit.

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Time for a Break

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Spirituality

To See the Face of Christ

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Do You Have What It Takes?

ABILITY

AVAIL

“When we show up, He shows up”

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(This is to help reassure newer Vincentians who may have little or no experience with home visits! Be sure to rehearse so you can click to advance the animations at the right time!)

If you are brand new to this, you may be a little nervous, and wonder if you have what it takes – the skills, the knowledge, etc. These words from JD Douglas may offer some reassurance:

“All of us have a choice, too, as to how we’ll follow Jesus’ exhortation to care for “the least of these.” One of the biggest revelations I have had, which has really been foundational to everything I have done in life …, is that God is far more interested in our availability than He is in our ability. There is much freedom when you realize that it doesn’t matter if you think you have a lot of gifts and ability or none at all, because God is looking for us to come to Him just as we are to be the change in others’ lives.

“I don’t have to be the world’s greatest singer to be a worship leader; and you don’t have to be the finest fill-in-the-blank to change the lives of others through serving in the ministry He has called you to. When we show up, He shows up – and incredible things happen through us and to us.”

GOD VALUES OUR AVAILABILITY IN MINISTRY OVER OUR ABILITY

JONATHON “JD” DOUGLASS

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Vincent & Frédéric

St. Vincent sees the historical Jesus in the poor

Bl. Frederic sees the risen, scarred Jesus in them

“We do what we do for the person of Jesus, who is, in truth, the flesh-and-blood poor person before us.”

The Manual

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(Summarize these concepts in your own words)

We are called to see the face of Christ in those we serve! Both Vincent and Frédéric taught this.

St. Vincent taught: “Since Christ willed to be born poor … he made himself the servant of the poor and shared their poverty. He went so far as to say that he would consider every deed which either helps or harms the poor as done for or against himself.”

“The religious Spirit must have as a point of reference that of Our Lord, who willed to practice radical poverty on earth.”

Because of this, it was easy for Vincent to see Christ in the person the poor.

While St. Vincent de Paul sees the historical Jesus in the persons of the poor and suffering, Blessed Frédéric Ozanam sees the risen, scarred Jesus in them.

Frederic wrote: “Both men and the poor we see with eyes of the flesh; they are there and we can put finger and hand in their wounds, and scars of the crown of thorns are visible on their foreheads; and at this point incredulity no longer has place and we should fall at their feet and say with the Apostle, ‘Tu est Dominus et Deus meus.’ You are our masters, and we will be your servants.” You are for us the sacred images of that God whom we do not see, and not knowing how to love Him otherwise shall we not love Him in your persons? (Letter #137, November 13, 1836).

The Mystery of the Incarnation, so loved by St. Vincent de Paul and Blessed Frederic Ozanam, is, therefore, a doctrine not just to be believed but to be put into practice by the corporal and spiritual acts of mercy. Vincentians who minister to the least of their brothers and sisters find in them the person of Jesus, the Incarnated Jesus. And this encounter with Jesus, this interaction, transforms us. Vincentians grow spiritually through their person-to-person service. We do what we do for the person of Jesus, who is, in truth, the flesh-and-blood poor person before us. Every human being is a word of God become flesh.

Vincentians expect God in the unexpected: in unexpected people, times, ways, and places. God wears a human face. When we see Jesus in others and try to be Jesus for others, the Mystery of the Incarnation comes alive for us.

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The Basis of All Formation

What if God were one of us?
To be authentically human
To be “newly created!”

Christ the Redeemer "fully reveals man to himself.”

Redemptor Hominis

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Human formation is the basis for all formation. While human formation focuses more on our actions, within each person is a “transcendence dynamic” which calls us to realize our spiritual dimension. This realization is the work of grace – a grace we hope to receive on our home visits, performed for love alone.

In the 1990s, there was a song called “What if God Was One of Us?” The lyrics include:

What if God was one of us�Just a slob like one of us�Just a stranger on the bus�Trying to make His way home?

In Redemptor Hominis, Pope St. John Paul II touches on this exact theme:

Man cannot live without love. He remains a being that is incomprehensible for himself, his life is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience it and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it. This, as has already been said, is why Christ the Redeemer "fully reveals man to himself".

What a remarkable insight! There has only been one perfect person, and He is Christ. Christ incarnate could have come to us as a warrior, a king, a man of wealth, but he did not. He could have made it look easy, but he did not.

He calls us to Himself by becoming “a slob like one of us – a stranger on a bus”; He teaches us that to be authentically human is not only to sit on a bus, but that through love we are newly created.

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Two Dimensions of Grace

Joyful

“Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”

Matthew 25:31-46

Transformative

Vincentians are aware of their own brokenness and need for God's grace...

They draw nearer to Christ...

They grow more perfect in love...

Rule, Part I, 2.2

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Prayer and the Home Visit

“Vincentians serve in hope. They rejoice in discovering the spirit of prayer in the poor, for in the silence, the poor can perceive God’s Plan for every person.”

The Rule, Part I, 1.11

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“Vincentians are sincerely concerned with the deeper needs and the spiritual well-being of those they help, always observing a profound respect for their conscience and the faith they believe in, listening and understanding with their hearts, beyond both words and appearances.”

Don’t be bashful about praying. It is the most important part of the visit, and you will find that people appreciate it very much. They may cry as you pray, but not tears of sadness; tears of relief – of knowing that our loving God has not forgotten them. You are the proof. “Where two or three are gathered in my name…”

An invitation to prayer can sound like this: We can hear the burdens you are carrying and we find it helpful to pray about our burdens, would you like to join us in prayer or would you prefer that we pray for you during our Conference meeting? This allows the friend in need a dignified way to opt out of prayer but after a home visit that was filled with your concern for them and their situation, most often the neighbor is grateful to join you in prayer.

You can pray however you are comfortable – a spontaneous prayer, one of the special home visit prayers on the National Council website, or perhaps the Our Father. Be sure to be respectful of differing faiths.

It is also important to include in your prayer a specific petition for the needs you have just heard about!

Finally, if the neighbor truly does not want to pray, don’t. This rarely happens, but we always respect the neighbor’s wishes.

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A Loving Presence

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Spirituality of the Home Visit

How do I know if a Home Visit was successful?

The Primary Purpose of the Society

The Apostolic Reflection

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Forming A Relationship

Communicating Across Barriers

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“Our poor are cold and despairingly indifferent. They have natures used to material civilization, which are no longer disposed to take to religion, which no longer have a sense of invisible things, which hold out their hands to receive bread, but whose ears remain forever closed to the word we proclaim to them. 0 how often we speak kindly to people who drive us off with sticks, even though we could go to others who would listen and understand! But no; these are beaten souls, who always receive us the same way, always with the same reserve at the end of a year as on the first day, who are very careful not to contradict a single thing we say, but who for all that change none of their ways. The good done is among ourselves, who support and encourage one another.”

Frédéric Ozanam

Letter to Léonce Curnier

Lyon, October 29, 1835

I don’t think we are often chased away with sticks! But it is true that the neighbors sometimes are wary of us. How do we have our conversations as servants…in the Vincentian spirit?

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Interrogator

“Vincentians serve the poor cheerfully, listening to them and respecting their wishes, helping them to feel and recover their own dignity, for we are all created in God’s image. In the poor, they see the suffering Christ.”

The Rule, Part I, 1.8

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There is a euphemism used by law enforcement for interrogations; they call them “interviews.”

It’s very important that we never let ourselves begin to treat our visits as interrogations!

One way we fall into this trap is by setting for ourselves a goal of learning “The WHOLE Story.”

The challenge with this approach is that we can never know the whole story!

Carl Sagan once said “if you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.”

Similarly, if we want the whole story, we must understand the neighbor’s entire upbringing, family, neighborhood, career, etc, etc. In general, that will not happen on a single home visit!

Instead, we have to be willing to extend the benefit of the doubt; we have to form a relationship based on trust and friendship. (Rule, Part I, 1.9)

As St. Vincent once put it: “We do not believe people because they are very learned, but because we consider them good and love them.”

He also said: “Suspicions are often deceiving.”

When we “interrogate,” we can sometimes make the neighbor feel pressured to try to tell us what they think we want to hear, instead of telling us their story.

It’s up to you to decide when and how far to extend the benefit of the doubt. Just remember, you are there to find a way to help.

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Clipboard Jockey

“Because people tend to share personal information more freely with their Vincentian visitors in the relaxed atmosphere of their own homes, Society members should be careful to record only what is essential to serve them.”

The Manual, Part I, 2.1

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Clipboards are a great way to keep your papers in order, and to take notes when there is no table….but a clipboard is not a home visit!

The form clipped onto your clipboard is also not the visit. When we rely too heavily on the notes we brought with us, rather than the person in front of us, we can begin to fall into the “hammer and nail” problem.

You know the one: “If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

One common example of this is filling out a budget worksheet on every visit. Certainly, some neighbors we visit need some help with this, but every neighbor we visit has come up short – that’s why they called us! If we trap ourselves within our budget framework, rather than listening to the neighbor, we will almost always find that there is a “budget problem!” But often there is something much deeper – or something much simpler.

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Friend

“Vincentians endeavor to establish relationships based on trust and friendship. Conscious of their own frailty and weakness, their hearts beat with the heartbeat of the poor. They do not judge those they serve. Rather, they seek to understand them as they would a brother or sister.”

The Rule, Part I, 1.9

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The Art of the “Interview”

When you are genuinely interested and listening, the questions you ask will come naturally.

Don’t be afraid to reveal something about yourself.

We don’t make people talk, we let them tell their story!

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Mutuality of Relationships

To Have To Be

Neighbor

Friend

Brother

Sister

Neighbor

Friend

Brother

Sister

To Have To Be

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Dr. Donna Beegle & the Poverty Institute

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Communicating Across Barriers

Oral culture is the natural human way to learn and communicate. Oral culture is linked to poverty.
Print culture learning and communication styles develop when people read for their primary information. Print culture is linked to middle-class.
Balance is having the skills and characteristics of both styles.

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Communicating Across Barriers

Oral Tradition

Relationships
Spontaneous
Repetitious
Holistic
Show Emotions
Present Oriented
Self Disclosure

Written Tradition

Linear
Time
Analytic/Abstract
Self-disciplined/Focus
Delayed gratification
Strategize

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(Try to give some examples from your own experience – you don’t necessarily need to go through every one of these.)

Relationships based on identification: Learns from people with whom there is common ground and respect.

Spontaneous: Communicates and learns best when information is presented in a variety of ways.

Repetitious: Storytelling and repeating stories are important for learning and maintaining knowledge.

Holistic: Focus on the “BIG picture.” Tendency to take in everything going on around them and not pay attention to details unless they are emphasized and repeated.

Show Emotions: Comfort with emotions. Relies on feelings and looks for emotion, facial expression and gestures.

Present Oriented: Highly in tune with the here-and-now. Behavior depends on what is modeled around them and what is going on in their home lives.

Self Disclosure: Take information from people they identify with-- use self-disclosure to gain identification.

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Communicating Across Barriers

Make connections with self-disclosure
Use storytelling: “I have a friend who…”
Don’t ignore poverty realities

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Poverty Realities

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How Do We Help in “the Best Way?”

Why do we go on home visits anyway?

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The Three Big Questions

Is there a need?

What is the need?

Can we help?

Should we help?

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We talked at the beginning about what we need to know by the end of our visit. There are three big questions we really need to answer:

Is there a need? The need may not be money! (Give an example from your experience)

What is the need? For us, it is often some type of financial assistance, and the most urgent need might not be the one that we were called about! (Give an example from your experience)

Can we help? Sometimes we really can’t. (Give an example from your experience. For example, the neighbor who called needing $3500 before tomorrow in order to avoid eviction. We may be able to help, but not in the way he asked. We might be able to help him get into a temporary shelter, for example.)

And the really big question:

Should we help? (Ask participants to answer this first!)

Discuss this idea: we should always help…but the help may not be financial; it may not be at all what we were asked to help with!

Remember – we try to help in the best way possible.

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Any form of personal help…

“No work of charity is foreign to the Society. It includes any form of help that alleviates suffering or deprivation and promotes human dignity and personal integrity in all their dimensions.”

The Rule, Part I, 1.3

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Giving Advice

“Do not be quick to advise. Individual/Families are often best helped by encouraging their own solutions. But when wanted and appropriate, give advice that is correct and practical. Make sure the individual/family clearly understands the advice given. If your Conference is not sure what advice it should give in a situation, consult your District Council. Your Conference should have advisors such as clergy, lawyers, doctors, social workers, agency officials, to whom it can turn for help. However, we must never force our will onto those we help.”

Conference President Handbook

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Material Help

Do not hesitate to give financial assistance.
Give the type and amount of help that is required by the individual/family at the time.
Be generous with clothing, furniture, etc. that may be donated to your Conference
Saying “No” might be the best way of finding that long term solution

Conference President Handbook

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Do not simply give the same amount to everyone so you can feel that you are being fair to all or have policies that limit our yearly assistance to a family. These approaches limit what you and the Holy Spirit can do in a person/family’s life.

“It is better to go beyond the limits of charity than to fail in it” St. Vincent

A bump in the road vs. a long and bumpy road – poverty cannot be solved in most cases by helping one time in a person’s life. Journeying with a neighbor in need through the crisis is the ideal form of help – we are called by our Rule to “form relationships based on trust and friendship.”

Building relationships traces back to the very first Conference, whose founding members (including Frédéric) “adopted” families, visiting them often. At the very least, we can call back to check in on our neighbors from time to time to offer encouragement and friendship.

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Budgeting

A form of advice
Be very careful!
“Don’t ignore poverty realities”

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Income		Date	Expenses		Balance
Balance	144.00	1	650.00	Rent (late fees begin on the 5th)	(506.00)
		2			(506.00)
		3	65.00	Out of food	(571.00)
		4			(571.00)
		5	32.00	Out of gas	(603.00)
		6			(603.00)
Payday	862.00	7	138.00	Electric bill	121.00
		8			121.00
		9			121.00
		10	65.00	Out of food	56.00
		11	256.00	Car payment	(200.00)
		12			(200.00)
		13			(200.00)
		14			(200.00)
		15			(200.00)
		16			(200.00)
		17	65.00	Out of food	(265.00)
		18	68.00	Water bill	(333.00)
		19	32.00	Out of gas	(365.00)
		20	98.00	Car insurance	(463.00)
Payday	862.00	21			399.00
		22			399.00
		23	65.00	Out of food	334.00
		24	102.00	TV/internet	232.00
		25	65.00	Phone	167.00
		26			167.00
		27			167.00
		28	15.00	Child invited to birthday party	152.00
		29			152.00
		30			152.00
	1,868.00		1,716.00

Exercise:

What would you do each day of this month?

Payday Loan?

Income: $1,868.00

Expense: $1,716.00

Rent: 34.8% of income

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This is a really important exercise to spark thoughts about the reality of living in working poverty! Be sure to practice clicking through the animations!

Hand out the budget worksheet. Instruct participants to take it one day at a time and write down what they would do on each day in this month.

After about five minutes, begin by asking:

I asked you to take one day at a time, but I’m curious who started out by totaling up the income and expenses for the month?

Click to reveal: Income is higher than expenses. BUT, (click to reveal) that’s not true on any given day! (Don’t ignore poverty realities.)

Discussion points: is this a budget problem? It’s easy to say “you have to save up to smooth things out, but how do you do this when your typical month looks like this? (Don’t ignore poverty realities.)

Is the rent excessive? No! Less than 35% of income!

We know that payday loans are quite risky, and can be disastrous in the long term.

BUT (click to reveal) can you see where it might appear to make sense on the 1^st of this month, knowing you will get paid in a week? What is higher, the one week fee on the loan, or a week of late fees from the landlord? (Don’t ignore poverty realities.)

The family with this budget is not likely to call us in a typical month (like this one,) but in a month when their car breaks down (for example.) There is no slack in this budget! (Don’t ignore poverty realities.)

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Service

Filling out Forms (taxes?)
Translating
Assisting with applications

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Referrals

Collaborating with other groups
Sharing knowledge of other assistance
Organizations that may be better able to meet the need

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Ourselves

Call just to check in
Visit the lonely, the elderly, shut-ins
Remember special occasions

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Our Timeless Home Visit

Mentoring
Collective Impact
Systemic Change

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“Tu est Dominus et Deus meus”

VI

To Serve Christ and to Share His Burdens

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Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father,

Inspired by Your servants Blessed Frederic and Saint Vincent

May we bear witness to Your compassionate and liberating love

By serving Your poor cheerfully,

And each other humbly,

On our path towards Holiness in union with you, Lord Jesus.

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