1 of 8

Leading with care not advice

Strategies for leading with care not advice

(in public services interactions)

2026

Information Literacy Summit

Heidi Anoszko

Instructional Design Librarian

UW-Milwaukee

2 of 8

It wasn’t working

(Over)preparing for every possible scenario
Doing work I wasn’t accountable for
Overwhelming students w/ resources
Underestimating students’ determination and curiosity

3 of 8

Here’s how I turned things around

Prioritizing basic needs
Getting curious, modeling curiosity
Reflecting my way to better boundaries

4 of 8

Prioritize Basic Needs However You Can

01

Transparency about everything: what to expect, what/why I’m doing things throughout the interaction, what I do/don’t know�
Slowing Down: body language, built-in recombobulation time, formative assessment for readiness �
Stop Policing Excuses: what opportunities do you create by embodying the kind, impartial helper?

Prepare to co-navigate bureaucracy and resources

Transparency:

what to expect,
what’s happening while it’s happening,
Where we are, how to leave if they need it,
Ask permission to close the door, let them know why I’m asking (noise, privacy)
what next steps are after interaction,
what is/isn’t possible
when I don’t know something/trying something experimentally vs
doing something to get an anticipated result

Positive outcome: added a sentence to my consultation confirmation emails that food and drink are allowed in the consult rooms, and students began to bring food and drink to appointments—for the first time. No one really asked about it before.

Slowing Down:

Use body language, reassurance, and scheduling structure to build in time for the student to settle in. Schedule the full hour for myself but book 45 min with students so there is built in flexibility for lateness and decompressing.

Gently remind nervous students that this is in fact their time too, I have no interest in rushing them, then act like I mean it

Use shared word document as formative assessment to determine when a student is ready to work (they’ve gotten to their email and opened the document)

In the classroom, I give students a task (log in and open your research guide in Canvas) paired with a reflection question for small groups (and sometimes the direction to, "help your classmates get to the guide if you've already made it)

Sometimes that 10 min to catch their breath is a real need students had. Check, that’s one positive outcome already.
Often this is enough for students to open up about their stressors, how they’re feeling about the assignment, what’s going on with them generally

Stop Policing Excuses:

All the barriers to success or stressors students share are only excuses if we're the ones evaluating them. We're not, we're most often impartial, expert helpers—think of all the potential that holds.

How will you communicate that role to your users?

I'll take it even further: If you're not grading them or reporting back to their instructor, all the stressors they share are valuable to the interaction because they make up the full picture of the research need/challenge you're supporting. It makes more sense to encourage students to share, and receive these details w/o judgement than insert shame into the learning process.
Another way we insert shame into the learning process is assuming our goals for the student/assignment are the same goals students have for themselves. This is where curiosity comes comes into play. �
If "The one who does the work does the learning" (Doyle, 2011 and 2023), my goal is not to do the work of learning for the student, but rather to remove barriers for learning and to create conditions for learning

To me, this means active listening to the venting, helping navigate university bureaucracy, making space for them to breath and be OK not knowing...that's the expertise.

Prepare to co-navigate bureaucracy and resources

Know how to make related service referrals
Health and safety referrals (in kind, safe, supportive way)
Be open to helping students find answers to related problems—what office to contact, who to email, searching college website for campus policy info

Know your boundaries and be transparent about them, but if you have a student's trust and can help without hurting, do it!

5 of 8

Model Curiosity & Mean It

02

Get curious about student feelings, goals, and curiosity

Not knowing (vulnerable) is always an opportunity

Ask questions the whole interaction

Helpful, meaningful curiosity is not possible without transparency and a willingness to slow things down. In a world that emphasizes the quick answer, opt to understand the whole picture

Get curious about student feelings, goals, and curiosity

How are you feeling about this project/assignment/research?
What's the most frustrating part?
What's the least clear part?
What would be a good outcome for this meeting?

Let student goals lead the session, not your own version of success!

Not knowing (vulnerable) is always an opportunity

A big lesson I had to learn is that just because a student comes to me looking for a subject expert, doesn’t mean that I have to be a subject expert to solve their problem.

Admitting you don't know and externalizing your reasoning process (together-- "what would you do next? What looks the most helpful to click on?) is the work/is the way
Questions set the tone for the consult and establish expectations: the student is capable of the research, not knowing is uncomfortable but temporary, you are responsible for this work when we're done here, but I'm happy to help you.
Model curiosity about failed searches and talk through why they may not have worked, what you learned in the process
be transparent when searches are experimental vs. When you're making deliberate choices you know yield results

Ask questions the whole interaction

Continuing to ask questions start, middle, wrap-up keeps the attention on them, keeps the interaction grounded in metacognition (ie: learning!)
It also helps you center the student. It's easy to ask questions we need at the beginning, but harder to keep track of the students feelings, desires, goals as you move through an interaction
Sometimes the 3 time asking, is the charm. Sometimes it takes that persistent, gentle, kind curiosity to get to the bottom of someone's authentic need.

Usually by the end of the consultation, class, or reference interaction, curiosity looks more like checking in than asking direct questions

Do you think you can recreate these steps at home?
What format do you prefer?
How are you feeling about your assignment now that we've worked on it together?
What would be a good goal for the last 15 min of our appointment?
How can I support you when you leave here today?

6 of 8

Reflection for Healthy Boundaries

03

What skills/knowledge/resources do I need to create a helpful learning experience?

What am I/can I be accountable for?�
Is this reasonable for me to do on a regular basis/if it became the expectation?�
Is this a mask or a relational bridge?

Often unspoken guides for yourself about what YOU will/won't do—NOT what you expect from another person's behavior.

As a neurodivergent person with a trauma disorder, people with clear, consistent boundaries are safe because I've had my boundaries messed with my whole life. And throughout my life I haven't always had my boundaries figured out (probably still don't, it's a constant practice). It's OK to be flexible some times, but try also to think about the big picture of your services when setting boundaries for yourself.

What skills/knowledge/resources do I need to create a helpful learning experience?

Do I feel confident in my ability to provide competent mental health first aid, make a referral to campus mental health services?
Do I know the range of services other library and campus support units provide?
Am I flexible enough in my methods that I could adapt to unforeseen accommodation needs?
Am I culturally competent enough to support BIPOC, queer, disabled, and international students
What practices do I need to implement to stay regulated in this context (consult, reference desk, instruction), especially on busy or stressful days?
How will I build in time to check in with myself and attend to my own basic needs?
Who is in my personal and professional support system?

What am I/can I be accountable for?

As a neurodivergent person with a trauma disorder, people with clear, consistent boundaries are safe because I've had my boundaries messed with my whole life. And throughout my life I haven't always had my boundaries figured out (probably still don't, it's a constant practice). It's OK to be flexible some times, but try also to think about the big picture of your services when setting boundaries for yourself.

Am I doing the work of learning for the student? (Doyle, 2023)
Am I removing a barrier so the student can move forward independently, or is this help making them reliant on my services (am I doing the student's work)?
Am I more enthusiastic or putting in more work on this project than the student?
Is the support I'm providing a bandaid for someone else's poor pedagogy?

When does that become not OK or Sustainable?
Could is there support, communication, or expertise I could direct towards the faculty member or coordinator (strategically) to improve student success?�

Is this reasonable for me to do on a regular basis/if it became the expectation?

Who's expectation is this? (In the past I've committed myself to work in the interest of going above/beyond that people didn't ask for or need)
Is this help tied to the student's goals/vision of success or my own?
Does the amount of time/energy spent on this threaten or disrupt other high-impact priorities? What if I offered this to every class? Every student?
How do I feel about this responsibility? Does any resentment/irritation come up?�

Is this a mask or a relational bridge? (**Contextual depending on who you're working with, how safe YOU feel)

Masking-> putting effort towards hiding parts of ourselves to preserve norms or make people comfortable

EX: Forcing eye contact when it's uncomfortable because it’s a social rule (energy goes to looking attentive, NOT actually paying attention)
BUT Eye contact serves a purpose in conversation—what other strategies could I use to connect that serve the same purpose.

Relational Bridging-> putting effort towards finding and practicing listening and attunement

EX: Eye contact is hard, instead I'll put energy towards other active listening practices (avoiding other distractions; simple validation phrases; mirroring; asking clarifying questions)

Concept and examples from Dr. Daniel Wendler (@AutisticPsychologist on Youtube and Tiktok) https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iC8SKJB-83E

What social practices distract me or feel inauthentic?
What Purpose do these practices serve in conversation/connection?
What other strategies could I use to connect that serve the same purpose?

7 of 8

Campsite Rule: a little better IS still better

Prioritizing basic needs
Getting curious, modeling curiosity
Reflecting my way to better boundaries

These are strategies we know, and that's OK. Don't be disappointed, this was only 7 min!
What I hope I'm emphasizing is that these skills and research-based practices still matter, perhaps more than ever.
The curiosity is the expertise. We may need to think of new ways to deliver these skills and meet our students, but the strategies work. I've tested them.

Leaving the student a little better than you found them is still a good outcome

This is about setting realistic goals lead by the students, yes
But also it’s about valuing all the skills we bring to public services. Few places or people on campus fill the role of impartial academic.�

Sometimes removing a few barriers and pointing them in towards the next thing is a bigger help than we realize
When I wasn’t asking students what they needed, of course the only option was to show them everything they could possibly need or want and overwhelm them. And of course that wasn’t sustainable or helpful.

Even if a student doesn’t know what they want or how to articulate that, asking them--giving them that space and opportunity--can be very powerful.
It communicates to students that they are capable, but they are also responsible.
And shows that I’m there for them. That this is their time, and people tend to be pretty invested in not wasting their own time.
And knowing what you don’t know-- that’s a great starting point for any learner.

8 of 8

References

01

02

03

Reference and User Services Association. (2023). Guidelines for behavioral performance of reference and information service providers. https://www.ala.org/rusa/resources/guidelines/guidelinesbehavioral

Doyle, T. (2011). Learner-Centered Teaching: Putting the Research on Learning Into Practice (1st edition). Routledge.

Hooks, B. (1994). Teaching to transgress. Taylor & Francis Group.

(Especially Chapter 10: “Building a Teaching Community”)

04

Wendler, D. [Neurodivergent Psychologist]. (2026, April 20). Stop autistic masking. Try relational bridging instead. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/iC8SKJB-83E