SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills
Sub goal 4B: Demonstrate an Ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways.
Grade Band Pre-K-6
How to use this module…
Please print out a copy of this module to add to the others you have already done so that you can write on the pages when there is a reflection or activity to do.
Let’s Review the New SEL Definition
CASEL’s (The Collaborative for Social Emotional Learning) New Definition describes SEL as: “Social and emotional learning (SEL) is an integral part of education and human development. SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.”
“We’ve updated our definition and framework to pay close attention to how SEL affirms the identities, strengths and experiences of all children, including those who have been marginalized in our education systems.”
A Closer Look at Relationship Skills
Relationship Skills Include...
Communication
Social engagement
Relationship building
Teamwork
This goal Includes negotiating conflict constructively!
SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills
MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr Pre K-K
Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: social engagement, conflict resolution/management
(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)
Benchmark Skills | Strategies |
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Choices: Check-in! Check -Out! Activity Sheet
MVSD Benchmark:I can make positive choices (ex: sharing) when interacting w/ classmates w/ adult support.
MVSD Strategy: Provide a check-in at the beginning of the day and a check-out at the end of the day. Students can reflect on the choices they will make or did make for the day.
Check-in Teacher: What positive choices do you want to make today?”(adult supports child in thinking about at least 1 choice he/.she will work toward making in class) | Check-out Teacher: What positive choices did you make today? (adult guides discussion w/ child by reviewing the choice they wanted to make that day and whether they did it) |
Choice 1: | How did I do making this choice? |
Choice 2: | How did I do making this choice? |
Choice 3: | How did I do making this choice? |
Building Background Knowledge: Using Picture Books to Teach SEL
MVSD Benchmark:I can express frustrations and anger w/o harming others, self, and property.
Strategy: Read picture books with characters in difficult situations. Talk about how they dealt with anger and frustration. Strategy: Utilize children’s literature to predict and discuss how choices affect the outcome of the story. Use questions such as: “ What if the character did this instead…would the outcome be different?
Activity: Browse through Alison Seedflet’s slides on:
Using Picture Books to Support Children’s Social Emotional Development
As you browse, answer questions/do the following activities from the slides:
Slide 4: List what you see as the top 3 social/emotional skills children need to be taught:
Slide 7: In what ways can picture books help the littles learn about building relationships? _____________________________________________________________________________
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Continued:
Using the attributes from Slide 10 on page 11 in the resource,. Take a moment to do a self-reflection: Teaching children how to build their emotional intelligence first starts with us, the adults, and how we define our own emotional intelligence. How would you describe your own levels of emotional intelligence? In the space below or on the next slide, you can draw a symbol or pic, write, find a pic that describes your emotional intelligence- options are endless!
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My Emotional Intelligence Looks Like and/or
Sounds Like...
Go to Slide 13, page 14 in the resource. You will see some Literacy Questions: Choose one and respond.
Question I chose: ____________________________________________________________________________
My response: _____________________________________________________________________________
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Watch and listen to the video book: Each Kindness, by Jacqueline Woodson.
Activity: Evaluating the Text: After listening to the story, evaluate it by answering the questions on the following slide. . Go to page 19 (slide 18) in the handout . Using Each Kindness as your example, answer the questions Would you read this book the the Pre-K K age group? If so, why? If not, why not?
Each Kindness Book Evaluation Questions
Questions from Slide 18:
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What is Developmental Bibliotherapy?
Slide 29 on page 30 of the handout describes Clinical vs Developmental Bibliotherapy.
HELPING THROUGH BOOKS
Now take a look at slides 30 and 31. They look at the 4 stages of Developmental Bibliotherapy:
Identification
Surfacing of Emotions
Insight
Universalization
Think about the Littles in these grade bands. Where do you see the focus of developmental bibliotherapy for this age/grade? ____________________________________________
How can you build additional skills in that area to support children in getting to the next level, besides using books? __________________________________________________________
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Slide 32: Explore these book titles. What is the theme in each? How might they support the practice of Bibliotherapy?
Nana Upstairs, Nana Downstairs, by: Tomie dePaola
Kathy’s Hats, by: Trudy Krisher (no video book available)
Night Catch, by: Brenda Ehrmantraut
Ian’s Walk, by: Laurie Lears
Teaching Children It’s OK to Get Angry
Without Hurting Others
Take a moment to read this article from PBS Kids. It is written for parents, but the tips can easily be used by educators, too!
Some scripts from the article to use with children that are helpful:
Teach Children the Daniel Tiger Song: When You Feel So Mad
Daniel Tiger Videos on this topic:
PBS Kids has video libraries.
Explore!
MVSD Benchmark:
I can express frustrations and anger w/o harming others, self, and property.
Choices: Check-in! Check -Out! Activity Sheet
Check-in Teacher: What positive choices do you want to make today?”(adult supports child in thinking about at least 1 choice he/.she will work toward making in class) | Check-out Teacher: What positive choices did you make today? (adult guides discussion w/ child by reviewing the choice they wanted to make that day and whether they did it) |
Choice 1: | How did I do making this choice? |
Choice 2: | How did I do making this choice? |
Choice 3: | How did I do making this choice? |
Class Project: Our Choices
As a class, design a picture book, poster, or collage about Making Choices and how they can help or hurt others.
Resources: Check out Amazon- they have a selection of picture books that address emotions, feelings, choices, etc..
What Should Danny Do? An interactive picture book.
Check out the promo video.
Check out: How to Teach Kids How to Make Good Choices for some great tips and resources.
Make a Class Collage Picture book on The Choices I Make. Give each child a white sheet of paper. Have them bring it home. Parents can help the child create their book page. The child needs to cover the page with drawings, pics, etc. that show how he/she makes good choices everyday. Student can use any type of medium to decorate their page- paint, glitter, markers, etc… Student brings back their book page. Teacher puts it in a plastic sleeve, collects all the pages and makes a Class Community of Choices Book.
For a book template go to TPT: https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/FreeDownload/Foldable-book-template-in-English-and-Spanish-3705744
SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills
MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 1 & 2
Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: social engagement, conflict resolution/management
(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)
Benchmark Skills | Strategies |
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The Aggressive Alligator Activity: Teaching Assertiveness to Children
MVSD Benchmark: I can begin to develop and practice the use of problem solving and conflict resolution skills w/ adult support. Strategy: Begin teaching students how to be assertive when communicating feelings and needs during a conflict situation.
From Pintrest: Conceptualizing the words: Aggressive, Assertive, and Passive for Children to Understand
Teach these words and then show them a bin of small plastic animals and have students choose an animal to represent each definition. After they have picked out their animal, have the, act out social situations w/ each animal. Talk about how different the outcome is depending upon the behavior.
Teaching Assertiveness in the Elementary Grades
MVSD Benchmark: I can recognize that there are many ways to solve conflicts and practice solving problems using different methods including using I Messages.
Strategy: Begin teaching students how to be assertive when communicating feelings and needs during a conflict situation.
Read this Edutopia article on teaching assertiveness in the elementary grades. List the 6 ways teachers can help children build assertiveness.
What will building skill sets for empathy and assertiveness help children to do? ______
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Browsing Resources… The Incredible Years Curriculum
MVSD Benchmark:I can identify and state feelings and problems when in a conflict situation.
MVSD Strategy: Have students work in pairs using puppets * to identify conflicts and show responses. Use classroom discussion to determine if the conflict needs an adult helper.
Take a look at The Incredible Years Curriculum- “The Incredible Years (IY) Training Series is a set of three comprehensive, multifaceted, and developmentally based curricula for parents, teachers, and children. The program is designed to promote emotional and social competence and to prevent, reduce, and treat aggression and emotional problems in young children 0 to 12 years old. “
*Articles and Handouts Puppet Play Tips and Examples
Setting Up a Peace Corner in the Classroom
MVSD Benchmark:I can identify and state feelings and problems when in a conflict situation. I can identify interpersonal problems that need adult help to resolve, and appropriately as for help.
MVSD Strategy: Provide peace corner/reset for students to de-escalate when needed. Help students reflect on difficult situations by brainstorming different options and determining with them the consequences of each option.
Read the article. Whether you are setting up a Peace Corner or supporting students in using it, these suggestions can help. They include:
Source for info on this slide from: https://theresponsivecounselor.com/2019/07/setting-up-a-peace-corner-and-teaching-students-how-to-use-it.html
Sample Peace Corner Expectations from the Responsive Counselor
Sample Peace Corner
What does it look like? What items might be included?
Reflection
What is your prior experience with Peace Corners? Is this a new tool that you are just learning about or have you created and/or supported younger children in using a time away space/Recharge Space/Peace Corner? Reflect on your experiences or if you haven’t had any experience, what questions might you still have about how they work, whether the student you support would benefit, etc.? __________________________
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Tips on Teaching Interpersonal Skills to Children
Teach practices in these areas: from: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/parent/ips-children.html
Teaching Children How to Manage Conflict
Rap to teach children about body language
Tips from:
https://ccy.jfcs.org/say-challenging-situations-children-sentence-starters-parents/
Emotions and Resolving Conflict Video Teaching Tools
Video example to show children and then discuss to teach about resolving conflict
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills
MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 3 & 4
Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: social engagement, conflict resolution/management
(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)
Benchmark Skills | Strategies |
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The Butter Battle, by: Dr. Seuss
MVSD Benchmark: I can generate safe, respectful, and reasonable ideas to reach a compromise and find a win-win solution during conflict. Strategy: Read “The Butter Battle Book” by Dr. Seuss (or another book about conflict and brainstorm solutions.
Class Discussion: Students can brainstorm some possible endings and solutions to solve the problem between the Yooks and Zooks.
The Conflict Table
Win-Win Teaching
Resources to Explore:
Takeaways:
Read the resource to learn more…
What did you take away from this article? ________________________
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Teaching Students the Win-Win Strategy
After reading the lesson, what is one takeaway that resonated with you? __________________
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Conflict Scenarios Activity
MVSD Benchmark: I can show an understanding of when to resolve conflicts w/ peers
Activity: Pair students and give them the sheet of conflict resolution scenario cards. Pairs take turns reading each scenario. Choose 4 from the sheet and describe each in the chart below. Students discuss/ decide whether the conflict is something they can solve or whether adult support is needed, then check the box in the chart. If the conflict is something the students can resolve, they will write down an idea on how they would solve it. Click here for a FREE download of conflict resolution cards for the activity.
Strategy: Present scenarios of different conflicts. Students can decide which ones can be resolved amongst peers and which ones require adult support.
Scenario and Description | Can Be Solved by Kids Idea on How to solve it | Needs to Be Solved with Adult Help |
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S.T.E.P. Formula for Solving Problems
Browse the Second Step Program- a Social Emotional Learning Program. Scroll down to page 2 and look at Lesson 17. This lesson focuses on Problem Solving and uses the STEP formula. Explore other FREE sample lessons at different grade levels.
Taking Responsibility for Our Actions
The power in the word: WE
In this TODAY article, the author shares some tips for parents on teaching responsibility to their children. These same suggestions can be helpful for teachers to use when teaching students in the classroom and in any environment.
Think about how you can incorporate the WE language in the classroom setting. Jot down 3 “WE” sentence scripts/starters that you can model/use to teach students about being responsible and taking responsibility for their actions.
Teaching Responsibility
Go here for a free Teachers Pay Teachers powerpoint resource on Teaching Responsibility. You can use this to teach students in this age group about responsibility and what it means to take responsibility for your actions.
Owning My Part Worksheet
Click here for another free resource from TPT. This resource is a worksheet to use with students as they process and reflect on how to take responsibility for their actions.
A Little Spot of Responsibility
Read this video story to students. Brainstorm how students can grow their responsibility spots and fill in their own Responsibility Charts.
MVSD Benchmark: I can take responsibility for my actions and behaviors during conflict.
Strategy: Use books or videos and the characters. What do the characters do to take responsibility?
5 Ways I can grow my own Responsibility Spot
I can…
Conflict Resolution Lesson from Kids Health
Take a look at the Teacher’s Guide, Discussion Questions, and more!
“These activities will help your students identify potentially explosive scenarios and develop strategies for dealing with them.”
Scroll down to: Conflict Corner- one of the activities in this resource. Read each of the students’ problems. Choose one of the students to give advice to.
Advice for Katie: _______________________________________________________
Advice for Ryan: ______________________________________________________
Advice for Luke: ______________________________________________________
Advice for Hannah: ___________________________________________________
SEL Learning Goal 4: Relationship Skills
MVSD Benchmark Skills and Strategies: Gr 5 & 6
Subgoal 4B: Demonstrate an ability to prevent, manage, and/or resolve interpersonal conflicts in constructive ways Definition: social engagement, conflict resolution/management
(strategies in red from MVSD SEL Curriculum)
Benchmark Skills | Strategies |
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Building Community with Restorative Circles
Read the Edutopia article: Building Community with Restorative Circles
What are the 7 Steps for Facilitating Meaningful Circles? __________________
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Does your building have a restorative circles program or protocol for conflict resolution? If so, describe. _______________________________________________________
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Preventing Conflict
These strategies come from Management Study Guide and can apply and be adapted to be used to teach students at any level and in any environment. In this case, the school environment:
Questions to Consider Before Conflict Happens:
The article suggests that nothing good comes from conflict and it is usually a waste of time and energy to engage in it. The following are some tips they suggest in order to prevent conflict from happening. Students who struggle with executive functioning skills, particularly with self-regulation may need support from an adult to explicitly teach them these strategies for avoiding conflicts and guide them through situations where potential conflict may arise:
Preventing Conflict- continued
These strategies come from Management Study Guide and can apply and be adapted to be used to teach students at any level and in any environment. In this case, we will focus on the school environment. Remember… Students who struggle with executive functioning skills, particularly with self-regulation may need support from an adult to explicitly teach them these strategies for avoiding conflicts and guide them through situations where potential conflict may arise:
From: https://www.managementstudyguide.com/preventing-conflict.htm
Preventing Conflict- continued
These strategies come from Management Study Guide and can apply and be adapted to be used to teach students at any level and in any environment. In this case, we will focus on the school environment. Remember… Students who struggle with executive functioning skills, particularly with self-regulation may need support from an adult to explicitly teach them these strategies for avoiding conflicts and guide them through situations where potential conflict may arise:
Talking about someone behind their back is a sure way to lead to conflict. Don’t do it.
Talk with those people you have an issue with and do it in a respectful manner.
Use “I” Messages when sharing your issues.
Try to take on the perspective of the other person.
Tips From: https://www.managementstudyguide.com/preventing-conflict.htm
Perspective Taking Activity
MVSD Benchmark Skill: I can acknowledge different perspectives of others to prevent conflict.
Counselor Keri shares an activity she did with 5th grades on perspective taking.
Read the article or watch her video. Learn about the activity she used with students. It captures the essence of perspective-taking and how to communicate clearly with others in this age group that can help to avoid unnecessary conflicts.
Teaching a Conflict Resolution Model that Students Can Use
Let’s take a look at a model: This one comes from a former psychologist, Laura Driscoll. She is currently a curriculum developer and trainer in social/emotional skills. She shares 6 easy steps:
STEP 1: COOL OFF- students must have time to calm down. If they struggle with this, they may need to have explicit teaching opportunities to learn about strategies and coping skills that can help them.
STEP 2: SHARE, LISTEN, CHECK- this step will require more support for longer periods of time- it involves having students share their perspective and when they need to listen and check, they need to practice reflective listening paraphrasing skills.
You can teach them how to use scripts or sentence reframing such as:
“I think I heard you say you feel…” or “So you want me to try to…” and use “I” Messages such as:
“I feel sad when you….”
MVSD Benchmark Skill: I can activate the steps of the conflict resolution process to manage disagreements and maintain safety and seek support when needed
Teaching a Conflict Resolution Model that Students Can Use
STEP 3: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY- Prompt students to think about what they could have done differently. A sample prompting script to use: “Could you have done something differently to change what happened?”
STEP 4: BRAINSTORM SOLUTIONS- support students in finding WIN-WIN solutions that benefit everyone. Adult can preview what a compromise may look like.
MVSD Benchmark: I can take responsibility for my actions and behaviors during conflict.
Teaching a Conflict Resolution Model that Students Can Use
STEP 5: CHOOSE a SOLUTION- Students can then cross off solutions that they feel will not work for each of them. Ask them to choose a solution that will work for both of them.
STEP 6- AFFIRM, FORGIVE, or THANK- The process can end at STEP 5, but it is always important to conclude with a statement that shows in some way that both people understand and acknowledge what happened.
Conflict Resolution Resource, Skits/Activities
Wheel of Choice and Peace-Makers and Peace-Breakers
From Proud to Be Primary- strategies for choosing solutions
Thoughts on this Process?
There are many conflict resolution processes out there that are effective and easy to teach students. The one we just took a look at is only one of many. Does your school use a universal conflict resolution process to help students solve conflicts? Describe: ____________________________________________________________________
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What are your thoughts about the 6 STEP CONFLICT RESOLUTION Process we just learned about? Do you see it working for students? Why or why not? If not, what changes would you make to the process so that ALL students can access the learning?
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Reflection
We’ve reached end of SEL LEarning Goal 4 Subgoal 4B! Take a moment to reflect on one new AH-HA Moment and fill in these sentence starters:
“I used to think... ___________________________________________________
But now I know...___________________________________________________
Other reflections: ____________________________________________________
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Next… SUB GOAL 4C: Develop and Maintain Positive Relationships