META MODEL
SIMPLE DELETION
TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
BASICS
LIFE POSITIONS IN TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Life positions are fundamental beliefs people hold about themselves and others, often formed in early childhood. These positions influence how individuals interact with the world and handle relationships. Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA), identified four primary life positions based on two dimensions:
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"I am OK" or "I am not OK" (self-perception)
"You are OK" or "You are not OK" (perception of others)
I AM NOT OK
YOU ARE OK
I AM OK
YOU ARE OK
I AM NOT OK
YOU ARE NOT OK
I AM OK
YOU ARE NOT OK
one-up
position
get rid of angry
Hopeless position
Get nowhere with Hopeless
One down
position
get away from helpless
Healthy Position
Get on with Happy
YOU ARE OK WITH ME
I AM NOT OK WITH ME
YOU ARE NOT OK WITH ME
I AM OK WITH ME
I-Y+
I+Y+
I-Y-
I+Y-
HAPPY &
ASSERTIVE
HELPLESS &
PASSIVE
HOPELESS &
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
AGGRESSIVE &
ANGRY
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1.I’M OK – YOU’RE OK (HEALTHY POSITION)
Belief: "I am worthy, and so are you."
Behavior: A person in this position has a positive self-image and trusts others. They communicate openly, solve problems constructively, and maintain healthy relationships.
Example: A teacher supports a struggling student with encouragement rather than criticism, believing in both the student's abilities and their own competence as a mentor.
2. I’M OK – YOU’RE NOT OK (ARROGANT OR OPPRESSIVE POSITION)
Belief: "I am good, but others are not."
Behavior: This position leads to superiority, dominance, and often mistreatment of others. It can result in bullying, manipulation, or blaming others for problems.
Example: A manager constantly criticizes employees, believing they are incompetent while considering themselves superior.
3. I’M NOT OK – YOU’RE OK (SUBMISSIVE OR INFERIOR POSITION)
Belief: "Others are better than me; I am not good enough."
Behavior: People in this position feel inferior, seek approval, and may struggle with low self-esteem. They often allow others to take advantage of them.
Example: A student avoids answering questions in class, assuming their ideas are not valuable, even though they have good knowledge.
4. I’M NOT OK – YOU’RE NOT OK (HOPELESS POSITION)
Belief: "Neither I nor others are good."
Behavior: This position leads to apathy, withdrawal, and sometimes depression. The person may feel that life is meaningless and avoid social interactions.
Example: A person struggling with long-term unemployment gives up trying, believing both they and society are hopeless, leading to isolation.
How Life Positions Affect Counseling and Coaching
As a Depression Management Coach, understanding these life positions can help you:
Identify a client's core beliefs about themselves and others.
Guide them toward adopting a healthier "I'm OK – You're OK" mindset.
Use Transactional Analysis techniques to reshape their self-perception and improve relationships.