Conflict Management
Md. Nawshad Pervez
Chief Human Resources Officer
United Group
What is Conflict Management?
Conflict management is the practice of being able to identify and managing conflicts sensibly, fairly, and efficiently. Conflict management process deals with (perceived) incompatibilities or disagreements arising from, for example, diverging opinions, objectives, and needs.
Since conflicts in a business are a natural part of the workplace, it is important that there are people who understand conflicts and know how to resolve them. This is important in today's market more than ever. Everyone is striving to show how valuable they are to the company they work for and at times, this can lead to disputes with other members of the team.
Conflict Theory
Workplace Conflicts and Resolutions
Traditional view
Before the management study got more in-depth details on conflict, management used to think that conflict is the result of the dysfunctional outcome. It was also believed that poor communication and trust issues created every type of conflict.
This view was quite common until the 1940s, but there have been substantial changes in management thinking since then.
The traditional theory stresses that all conflicts are harmful, and the management should eradicate them by addressing the person creating the conflict. This theory has slowly become obsolete as many advantages of conflict have come up.
Human Relations theory
This theory stresses that conflict is a natural occurrence that indeed happens with more people who work together in a group. Conflict is inevitable, especially in these interconnected worlds where organizations focus more on integration and sync between teams, departments, and other verticals.
These views had dominated among management between the late 1940s to mid-1970s. Even some managers believe that conflict will happen, and they try to understand the root cause for proper resolution instead of blaming the individual causing the conflict.
Interactionist theory
Interactionist theory is made with the idea that human beings are social animals and love to interact with others and the world around them. This interaction gives meaning to the personal life and helps in making decisions in everyday lives.
This theory encourages the managers to maintain minimal conflict, so the group members remain creative and forward-looking. This view still resonates well within the management circle, and most conflict resolution systems depend on that.
6 Workplace Conflicts and Resolutions
So many conflicts in life are caused by a lack of or poor communication, and the workplace is no different. Misunderstandings, closed-mindedness, and passive-aggressive behavior all contribute to the following workplace conflicts.
1. Interdependence/Task-Based Conflicts
Task based conflicts
These disagreements arise in situations when individuals in an interdependent project network must coordinate their tasks so that everyone can successfully get their part done. For example, an accountant can’t do their job without all the numbers. If an employee is constantly late with their reports, it affects the accountant’s ability to finish up and make deadlines.
The solution? Delegate tasks effectively. Communicate with the team the importance of responsibility and accountability. Clarify what everyone should be doing in their role so they’re all on the same page when deadlines approach.
2. Leadership Conflicts
Everybody has a different leadership style, and everybody reacts differently to those leadership styles. Some leaders are bold and charismatic, others are more laid-back, warm, and inviting. Some are highly technical and strict on rules and deadlines, and others are so hands-off you hardly see them.
To solve potential conflicts, you should emphasize mutual respect of differences throughout the company. Also, leaders should be aware of their own leaderships styles and how they interact with the work styles and personalities of people on their team. They should be able to adjust and connect with their employees no matter their leadership preferences.
Again, we’re all different – it’s not something we can escape.
3. Work Style Conflicts
Just as there are different leadership styles, there are different work styles. Some people prefer to work in groups while others do their best work alone. Some people need no extra direction to complete a task, while others like external input and direction every step of the way. Some people get more work done under pressure, and others like to knock their tasks out early.
The same idea of mutual respect and understanding applies here, as well as throughout all workplace conflicts and any interaction involving other people. We may prefer a particular work style, but sometimes in groups, teams must collaborate to come up with an idea greater than one mind could think up alone – meaning they have to learn to deal with each other’s differences.
4. Personality-Based Conflicts
Say it with me again: We are all different. We’re not always going to like everyone we meet, and it’s not easy to work with someone whose personality we find distasteful. It’s helpful to remember that who we perceive someone to be is not necessarily who they actually are. This circles back to the theme of empathy and understanding. Don’t let what you’ve seen define everything you’ll think about someone in the future.
It’s all about the story you tell. Imagine someone cuts you off on the highway. You’d probably be thinking about how they’re a rude, brainless jerk. Now imagine you’re late for work or you’re taking your sick child to the doctor, or that you have to go to the bathroom immediately and you end up cutting someone off while driving. You know the justification behind your actions, but the person you cut off is sitting there thinking you’re a rude, brainless jerk.
5. Discrimination
This is where workplace conflict gets more serious, and where human resources might have to get involved. If there’s harassment or discrimination going on due to age, race, ethnicity, gender, or what have you, there’s a serious need for the company to explicitly emphasize open-mindedness, acceptance, and understanding.
We can all learn to coexist.
6. Creative Idea Conflict
Conflict when it comes to idea brainstorming is actually an excellent opportunity to make the idea even better. Employees need to recognize the ideas of others, voice their own, and then gather the best pieces together for a stunning solution.
If two individuals were disagreeing on a project idea, they could talk to each other and cooperatively decide on one idea or the other. They could also look for compromise so both ideas can shine through while producing an even better outcome spawning from the collaboration. If needed, they could approach another colleague or a higher-up to mediate the discussion or offer their opinion on the final decision.
Questions to Ask Before Choosing a Conflict Management Style
1. How much do you value the person or issue?
It may influence you to choose one strategy over another based on how much you value the person with whom you have a conflict or the issue over which you are conflicted. It may not seem worth it to continue a long-term conflict if you're worried about ruining your relationship with someone, but it also may make your relationship stronger to come to a consensus.
In addition, you can judge the importance of the conflict based on how close to home the issue sits. Perhaps it's a matter of your morals or personal values, in which case it may be essential for you to prolong the conflict. If the issue is of little significance to you, though, it may be easier to let it go.
2. Do you understand the consequences?
You should be prepared for the consequences of partaking in the conflict. Especially in a professional environment, there could be serious consequences for continuing a conflict with a higher-up. However, as long as you know the potential risks, you can decide whether or not to prolong the conflict.
You may feel consequences if you don't enter the conflict. Perhaps, those will be personal, moral consequences for not standing up for your beliefs. Or, maybe, a wrong decision is made and executed because you didn't bring in a conflicting perspective. Regardless, give yourself a clear overview of all the positive and negative consequences beforehand.
3. Do you have the necessary time and energy to contribute?
By entering a conflict with a firm stance, you are preparing yourself for what could be a long-term ordeal requiring research, presentations, conversations, and stress. Before diving in, ensure that you have the time in your schedule to dedicate yourself to the conflict.
In addition — and more importantly — ensure that you care enough about the conflict that it's worth the energy you will need to pour into it every day. Going back and forth on a topic with others can be exhausting if it's not meaningful to you.
Based on these questions, you can determine which conflict management styles you want to assume in the situation.
When it comes to conflict, there is no one solution that will work in all situations. Each situation will be different, from the trigger of the conflict to the parties involved.
A manager skilled in conflict resolution should be able to take a birds-eye view of the conflict and apply the conflict management style that is called for in that specific situation.
1. Accommodating
This style is about simply putting the other parties needs before one’s own. You allow them to ‘win’ and get their way.
Accommodation is for situations where you don’t care as strongly about the issue as the other person, if prolonging the conflict is not worth your time, or if you think you might be wrong. This option is about keeping the peace, not putting in more effort than the issue is worth, and knowing when to pick battles.
The 5 conflict management styles
While it might seem somewhat weak, accommodation can be the absolute best choice to resolve a small conflict and move on with more important issues. This style is highly cooperative on the part of the resolver but can lead to resentment.
Pros: Small disagreements can be handled quickly and easily, with a minimum of effort. Managers can build a reputation as an easygoing person, and employees will know that they can speak their mind about problems without reprisal.
Cons: Managers might be viewed as weak if they accommodate too often. Using this technique with larger or more important issues will not solve any issues in a meaningful way and should absolutely be avoided.
Example:�In a marketing meeting, the colors for the new spring campaign are being discussed. Raymond is adamant that choice A is the best choice. Gina thinks that choice B is slightly better, but decides to let Raymond choose the colors, to avoid arguing about two choices that she thinks are both fine.
2. Avoiding
This style aims to reduce conflict by ignoring it, removing the conflicted parties, or evading it in some manner. Team members in conflict can be removed from the project they are in conflict over, deadlines are pushed, or people are even reassigned to other departments.
This can be an effective conflict resolution style if there is a chance that a cool-down period would be helpful or if you need more time to consider your stance on the conflict itself.
Avoidance should not be a substitute for proper resolution, however; pushing back conflict indefinitely can and will lead to more (and bigger) conflicts down the line.
Pros: Giving people time to calm down can solve a surprising amount of issues. Time and space can give a much-needed perspective to those in conflict, and some issues will resolve themselves. Managers show that they trust employees to act like adults and solve issues.
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Cons: If used in the wrong situations, this technique will make conflicts worse. Managers can seem incompetent if they overuse avoidance because employees will think that they are incapable of handling disagreements
Example:
Jake and Amy have been collaborating on the new UX design for weeks. The deadline is looming and they are increasingly unable to agree on changes.
The deadline is pushed back and they both are given the day to work on other projects. The space to take a break from each other, as well as the extra time to complete their project, allows them to cool down and resume in a more collaborative mindset
3. Compromising
This style seeks to find the middle ground by asking both parties to concede some aspects of their desires so that a solution can be agreed upon.
This style is sometimes known as lose-lose, in that both parties will have to give up a few things in order to agree on the larger issue. This is used when there is a time crunch, or when a solution simply needs to happen, rather than be perfect.
Compromise can lead to resentment, especially if overused as a conflict resolution tactic, so use sparingly.
Pros: Issues can be resolved quickly, and the parties in conflict will leave understanding more about the other person’s perspective. Compromise can set the stage for collaboration down the road, and allows both parties to feel heard. Managers using this tactic are seen as facilitating agreement, being hands-on and finding solutions.
Cons: No one leaves completely happy. In some cases, one side might feel as though they sacrificed too much, and be unwilling to compromise again in the future. Managers who rely on this technique will burn up their employees goodwill and be seen as unable to execute collaboration.
Example:
Rosa and Charles are in charge of the advertising budget for the next quarter. Rosa wants to hire a full-time social media person, while Charles wants to increase targeted digital ads.
A compromise is reached by hiring a social media person to work part-time, with the remainder of the budget being spent on digital advertising.
4. Competing
This style rejects compromise and involves not giving in to others viewpoints or wants.
One party stands firm in what they think is the correct handling of a situation, and does not back down until they get their way.
This can be in situations where morals dictate that a specific course of action is taken, when there is no time to try and find a different solution or when there is an unpopular decision to be made. It can resolve disputes quickly, but there is a high chance of morale and productivity being lessened.
Note: This is not a style that should be relied upon heavily.
Pros: Managers using this style show that they are strong and will not back down on their principles. Disputes are solved quickly, as there is no space for any disagreement or discussion.
Cons: Managers using this style will be seen as unreasonable and authoritarian. Handling conflicts by crushing any dissent will not lead to happy, productive employees, nor will it lead to finding the best solutions in most cases.
Example:
Sophia is the head of her department. Within her staff, she has been dealing with several conflicts. First, Paul and Kevin could not agree on where to hold the annual team-building activity, she stepped in and decided that the department would do an escape room.
Second, Cecile and Eduardo have been fighting over which one of them will have to deal with a particularly difficult client. Neither wants to put in the time and effort and has been arguing that it is the other’s job to deal with it. Sophia decides it is Cecile’s job to handle the client, even though it arguably could be either person’s job.
Third, Alex has come to Sophia several times, asking for permission to change the management of a project that he is running. He thinks that the changes he proposes will make the project much more successful. Sophia will not budge on the way the project is run and tells him to get the job done the way she has ordered him to.
As we can see, in the first example, Sophia made a quick decision to stop a small conflict from escalating or wasting more time. This is an appropriate use of this style.
In the second decision, while she solved an issue, she created another one: Cecile is now resentful. Especially in cases where a boss favors an employee, this type of unilateral decision making will lead to angry employees.�In the third situation, Sophia should not have used the competing style. Not only is Alex now upset that he is not being heard, but Sophia is also missing an opportunity to improve the project.
5. Collaboration
This style produces the best long-term results, at the same time it is often the most difficult and time-consuming to reach.
Each party’s needs and wants are considered, and a win-win solution is found so that everyone leaves satisfied. This often involves all parties sitting down together, talking through the conflict and negotiating a solution together.
This is used when it is vital to preserve the relationship between all parties or when the solution itself will have a significant impact.
Pros: Everyone leaves happy. A solution that actually solves the problems of the conflict is found, and the manager who implements this tactic will be seen as skilled.
Cons: This style of conflict management is time-consuming. Deadlines or production may have to be delayed while solutions are found, which might take a long time, depending on the parties involved and can lead to losses.
In each of the above conflict management examples, a solution is found, but there will be lasting effects on morale, productivity, and overall happiness of employees, depending on how that solution was reached. Skilled conflict management is minimizing the lasting effects of conflicts by using the right tactic at the right time.
Example:
Terry and Janet are leading the design of a new prototype. They are having difficulties, as Terry wants to incorporate a specific set of features. Janet wants to incorporate a different set of features.
To reach a solution, they sit down, talk through each feature, why it is (or isn’t) important, and finally reach a solution, incorporating a mix of their features and some new ones they realized were important as they negotiated
Conflict resolution strategies in the workplace
Learning how to handle disputes efficiently is a necessary skill for anyone in management - especially those who have recently become new managers - and the key to preventing it from hindering employees' professional growth. Here is the conflict resolution process in five steps.
Step 1: Define the source of the conflict.
The more information you have about the cause of the problem, the more easily you can help to resolve it. To get the information you need, certain resolution strategies can be adopted as follows. Use a series of questions to identify the cause, like, "When did you feel upset?" "Do you see a relationship between that and this incident?" "How did this incident begin?"
As a manager or supervisor, you need to give both parties the chance to share their side of the story. It will give you a better understanding of the situation, as well as demonstrate your impartiality. As you listen to each disputant, a conflict resolution technique is to say, "I see" or "uh huh" to acknowledge the information and encourage them to continue to open up to you.
Step 2: Look beyond the incident.
Often, it is not the situation but the point of view of the situation that causes anger to fester and ultimately leads to a shouting match or other interpersonal conflict.
The source of the workplace conflict might be a minor issue that occurred months before, but the level of stress has grown to the point where the two parties have begun attacking each other personally instead of addressing the real problem. In the calm of your office, you can get them to look beyond the triggering incident to see the real cause. Once again, probing questions will help ease a disagreement, like, "What do you think happened here?" or "When do you think the problem between you first arose?
Step 3: Request solutions.
After getting each party's viewpoint, the next step is to get them to identify how the situation could be changed. Again, question the conflicting parties to solicit their ideas: "How can you make things better between you?" When managing conflict as a mediator, you have to be an active listener, aware of every verbal nuance, as well as a good reader of body language.
You want to get the disputants to stop fighting and start cooperating, and that means steering the discussion away from finger pointing and toward ways of resolving the conflict.
Step 4: Identify solutions both disputants can support.
You are listening for the most acceptable course of action. Point out the merits of various ideas, not only from each other’s perspective, but in terms of the benefits to the organization. For instance, you might suggest the need for greater cooperation and collaboration to effectively address team issues and departmental problems.
Step 5: Agreement.
The mediator needs to get the two parties to shake hands and accept one of the alternatives identified in Step 4. The goal is to reach a negotiated agreement. Some mediators go as far as to write up a contract in which actions and time frames are specified. However, it might be sufficient to meet with the individuals and have them answer these questions: “
What action plans will you both put in place to prevent conflicts from arising in the future?”
and “What will you do if problems arise in the future?
This mediation process works between groups as well as individuals.
Conflict Management Skills
Conflict Management Skills:
We often perceive conflict as undesirable, if not flat-out scary, but real-life conflicts are typically much less bombastic than TV and movies make them out to be. In fact, when approached right, conflict can even provide healthy learning and growth opportunities. Conflict management skills are the key to unlocking this complex door. Whether your team’s conflicts are this small or much bigger, you can use the below conflict management guide to effectively problem-solve.
What are conflict management skills?
Conflict management skills help minimize the negative impacts of workplace conflicts on you, the people involved, and your whole team. They’re basically what you would do when you sense a disagreement coming on with a friend or partner, but applied to the workplace. On less fortunate occasions, they might be skills you use once the conflict has already gotten out of hand.
8 examples of conflict management skills
While the above explanations may read simply, these basic descriptions mask the fact that actually resolving your conflicts can be tough. You’ll need the below conflict management skills for best results.
Communication
Picture this: You task two team members with completing a project, but as the project progresses, the team members realize they just can’t get along. But it’s not like you’re asking them to be friends. You’re just asking them to complete this assignment. Two people who don’t vibe still need to work together sometimes, but poor communication can exacerbate any preexisting negative feelings toward their work partner. Remind your team members that they need to be on the same page when it comes to their work, and find ways to minimize their interactions outside of what’s needed to complete good work.
Emotional intelligence
Conflict can stem from you and your team members not being on the same page emotionally. That comes into play a lot in conflict management. If you can’t tell when someone is frustrated, you won’t know when to put your conflict management skills to work.
Likewise, if you can’t perceive that your management style is stressing your team out, you might wonder why their motivation is in the gutter. The thing is, you’re the problem in this case. But if a lack of emotional intelligence causes you to blame the employee instead, you’ve now worsened the conflict. Always read the room and
encourage emotional openness from which to hold
empathetic problem-solving conversations (or maybe try a
problem-solving activity).
Open discussion
When conflicts are serious enough, you might want to take steps to address them the moment you sense them. A great way to do so is to invite all the people involved to a meeting. At this meeting, the conflicting parties can openly discuss the circumstances and how they feel about them.
As a team leader, you can use this moment as a springboard for conflict resolution. When everyone’s thoughts are out in the open, problem-solving conversations might flow naturally, and everyone might walk away happy.
Active listening
Our minds run at a mile a minute. That makes it pretty easy to get distracted when someone is speaking to you. And that’s a surefire way to face conflict later when you don’t follow through on what you and the person discussed. Active listening can help you avoid this struggle.
When you listen actively, you notice someone’s exact phrasing and points made. You might then respond with similar phrasing or ask questions to clarify. This way, the person with whom you’re speaking will know you’re on the same page as them.
Patience
Some conflicts are simple to overcome, while others can take time to resolve and make people pretty angry. That’s why patience is such an important conflict management skill.
For example, conflicts stemming from stubbornness might test your patience. You may also feel challenged by rushing impatiently to a solution, which may inadvertently leave someone out of the resolution.
No matter how, or by how much, a conflict tests your patience, you should never get angry. You can be firm and stern, but obvious frustration will always worsen the problem. And if you do deliver what’s seemingly a “final verdict” angrily, you’ll likely upset your team enough that resentment builds. And resentment is a perfect breeding ground for future conflicts.
Impartiality
While having a favorite team member is frowned upon, it’s inevitable that you’ll grow closer with some people than others. Yet the team members with whom you’re close can make mistakes too. If you resolve conflicts in ways partial to them, then you’re not really solving conflicts. You’re just playing favorites.
Impartiality is the key here. No matter who’s involved in a conflict, take a step back from it and figure out who’s done what. Then, figure out how those actions affected the other parties. Then, make a call: Who needs to do what to resolve this conflict? When you step back like this, better outcomes are possible for everyone.
Guidance
Think back to your childhood. When people yelled at you when you made mistakes, you didn’t like that, did you? Now imagine castigating someone on your team for making a mistake that’s led to conflict. Imagine yourself insulting their work quality, or worse yet, their intelligence. That’s pushing them away when you should be calling them in. Instead, take a guidance-based conflict resolution approach.
Even if you do think a conflict is the result of someone’s terrible work, you don’t need to say so. That would be pretty harsh! Instead, show the person where their errors lie, how these errors affected other people, and how they can avoid these mistakes in the future. Do so constructively without any signs of anger or disappointment to keep things positive and encouraging.
Positivity
Negative emotions only beget more negative emotions. It’s entirely possible to resolve most conflicts while staying positive. And positive emotions beget more positive emotions!
For positive conflict resolution, make sure all discussions are at least neutral in tone. Encourage participants to go into the conversation with an open mind and perhaps even excitement about resolving the problem. Working from this mindset makes finding a meaningful solution far more likely.
7 best practices for conflict resolution
Ready to keep an open ear and mind as you positively, patiently resolve conflicts? Start with the below conflict management skills. Your team will thank you, and so will your stress levels.
1 Avoid the blame game
Nobody likes to feel blamed. If anything, blaming someone will lead to them feeling defensive, and that’s not a great mind state from which to solve problems. Instead, make sure that everyone in the conflict gets open space to share concerns without interruption. Then, work from everything that’s been said to identify the most serious pain points. Shift the conversation to those and how everyone present can contribute to addressing them.
2 Be explanatory, not accusatory
Imagine if someone said, “You did this wrong.” That wouldn’t feel great. But what if that person said “I don’t have what I need” instead? You might then be inclined to ask what the person needs instead of going on the defensive. From that position, you can solve problems much more easily.
Notice that the better statement for problem-solving begins with “I.” A conflict narrated through how each participant feels rather than whom they blame is much healthier. Most people are empathetic and will strive to help other team members’ negative emotions disappear. In other words, they’ll resolve the conflict.
3. Keep calm and carry on
Big conflicts might make you want to tear your hair out. They might make you want to scream. You obviously know not to do the former, but don’t do the latter, either! Even the most intense of conflicts are better resolved when everyone is calm.
Instead of approaching a conflict with exasperation, frame your concerns in a neutral tone. “I’m tired of having this client treat me like this” can always be “When this client treats me this way, it causes me to…” Notice how much less intense the latter phrase sounds. That calmer approach is much less likely to make someone feel too frazzled to dig their feet in and get to work solving the problem.
4. Keep it all within the conflict
Any time you discuss a conflict with someone outside it, you risk bringing them into the conflict. Sometimes, doing so is inevitable: When two of your team members aren’t seeing eye to eye, they might ask for your help. That’s natural and a good thing. But if one of those team members complains about the other to someone else on the team, that’s a problem. Suddenly, that third person is involved in the conflict.
Remind your team members to keep what’s said in the room. And if someone in the conflict feels truly angry, suggest that they vent somewhere no one else can see or hear. Maybe that means journaling or speaking to a friend outside work who doesn’t know the other people involved. Getting that anger out now can lead to better conflict resolution later.
5 Make sure everyone knows not to take things personally
When you started at your first job, criticism may have felt like the end of the world. But that’s all anxiety speaking – rarely is criticism delivered with a personal agenda. So when it comes time to manage conflicts, make sure everyone knows not to take things personally.
That said, if the source of conflict is insults or offensive comments, then there’s indeed something to be taken personally. But if the issue at hand solely pertains to work, you can resolve it without anyone getting hurt. Just have everyone separate their emotions from the tasks and learn to objectively see what went wrong and why.
6. Observe body language
You know how sometimes people will say “I’m fine” but clearly show that they’re not? That’s the power of body language. When team members in a conflict say they’re OK with a solution but still appear unhappy, that might indeed be the case.
Of course, you can’t call someone out for looking like they don’t mean what they say, but you can encourage more, honest conversation. If someone says they’re OK with something but doesn’t appear to be, you can say, “I’m glad to hear that. Is there anything more you want to add?” This way, you can get additional input that all sides can use to approach a solution that works for everyone.
7. Don’t burn bridges
Relationships are important, and rarely is a conflict significant enough to be worth burning that bridge. Do all you can to encourage apologies and a mindset of resolution rather than proving one side right or wrong. You should also promote a focus on the current conflict rather than old ones that, when brought up out of nowhere, can incite anger. Calm conversations preserve relationships — the precise point of conflict management.
Conflict is inevitable, and it doesn’t have to be bad
If groups of people always saw eye to eye, the world would look a lot different, and so would your workplace. Conflict is indeed inevitable, but you and your team can learn and grow from it. Doing so requires conflict management skills, teamwork, and a space in which both can develop. Meetings are often that space, and with Fellow’s highly versatile meeting tools, you can easily plan and take actions to resolve conflicts.