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Elrick Primary School

Promoting Positive Relationships,

Support Strategies in School

May 2023

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Introduction, Aims and Ethos of the evening

Welcome to everyone ☺

To develop a shared understanding of approaches used to support positive relationships in school

To develop an understanding of the evidence and psychology of support strategies implemented in schools

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Elrick Primary School

A Happy Place to Learn, Develop and Grow

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Being a Nurturing School

Most staff have now completed ‘Whole School Nurture’ training, exploring the nurture principles, attachment and attunement, relationships and resilience, brain, trauma and stress, and emotion coaching.

The nurture principles underpin our school ethos and inform our practice at whole school, class and individual level.

The diagram in the slide shows these principles but what do they actually mean?

Children’s Learning is understood developmentally – this applies across all stages as teachers plan for children at an appropriate level to meet individual needs, taking into account where the child is developmentally with regards their personal, social, emotional and academic development.
The classroom offers a safe base – trusting relationships are key to children feeling safe in their environment. Routines need to be established and clear boundaries in place – both physical and emotional. When secure relationships are in place, children have increased resilience even when faced with adversity.
The importance of nurture for the development of self-esteem – all staff work hard to ensure that children feel valued and listened to. Staff make time to talk about events and feelings, listening and responding to children’s needs. Positive eye contact, facial expression and tone of voice are encouraged.
Language as a vital means of communication – adults encourage opportunities for language and communication and model good practise, supporting children to make the connection between the action and the language.
All behaviour is communication – staff understand the importance and significance of all communication including non-verbal and physical contact and respond appropriately. A variety of strategies are developed such as distraction and humour in order to respond to behaviour. Undesirable behaviour is treated firmly but not punitively. Children will sense that that as their behaviour is understood rather than judged, difficult situations may be diffused. Staff observe and record behaviour objectively without judgement but with growing understanding. Planned support.
The importance of transitions in children’s lives is understood – transitions are planned and manageable and when possible children are prepared for changes in routine. Out of school transitions are planned, with clear procedures in place, involving parents whenever possible.

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Now read this slide. Do you Agree/disagree?

We know that negative behaviour can cause anxiety and upset for pupils, parents and staff. At Elrick School we are committed to doing our best to support children, helping them to regulate their emotions and in turn help prevent inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour. Unfortunately there is no quick fix and change rarely happens overnight.

To help us do this, most staff have engaged in CALM Theory training to raise their awareness of what may be causing the unwanted behaviour and to give them strategies to support de-escalation. All staff have engaged in Respectme’s Anti-Bullying training so that they know the signs to look out for and how they can support children who have experienced bullying behaviour and also help children understand the impact their behaviour may have on others. All staff have also engaged in reading using Paul Dix as a reference, looking at strategies which can be embedded in our practise to encourage positive behaviour and relationships in our school community.

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Approaches to Managing Behaviour

Behaviours	Possible Response/Action
Stage 1 Low level, disruptive behaviours, which are beginning to impact on the rights of others	Restorative discussion/Circle Time discussions • Universal Support (quiet area, time out/in, de-escalation, emotion coaching, zones of regulation)
Stage 2 Repeated unacceptable behaviours/language (including consistent low level behaviours) after restorative approaches have been put in place but not had desired effect Disruptive behaviour which is having a notable impact on the rights of others	Restorative Discussion • Contacting Parents/Carers • SLT Involvement • School-based meeting with parents/carers • Targeted support
Stage 3 Ongoing unacceptable behaviours/language Disruptive/disrespectful behaviour which is having a significant impact on the rights of others (children/adults) Discriminatory behaviours, language or actions Severe, intentional physical contact Theft/Vandalism A sudden, unexpended, serious incident Bullying behaviours	* Restorative Discussion • GIRFEC meetings (may be Multi-Agency I involving other professionals) Behaviour Risk Assessment and Action Plan • Aberdeenshire's Bullying Staged Guidance • Exclusion

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Support routes

Additional Support for Learning staff – academic, social and emotional

Counsellor

Intervention and Prevention Teacher

Educational Psychologist

School nurse and school doctor

Kooth

Medical Professionals/Social Workers

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Michelle O’Grady

Educational Psychologist

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Discipline

The root word for discipline is disciple, from old French, meaning learner. In the verb form, it means to guide, lead, teach, model and encourage.
We are moving away from the traditional view of rewarding good behaviour and punishing bad behaviour and moving towards a relational/developmental based behaviour model.
Differentiation discipline/support which is informed by the child’s developmental and emotional regulatory stage.

We now know so much more about human brain development and as a result we continue to develop our understanding of how to support children and young.

When a baby is born nearly all the cells in the brain are present but they are not working yet. They start working when connections are made between cells in response to what they experience. Babies need adults to soothe and stimulate them in order to build their brains and develop loving secure attachments. Their brain is a social organ, it works best when it is linked into other brains through interaction. Neuroscience shows that what happens to us shapes our brains.

This evening I am going to talk through some of the strategies that we use in schools to support healthy brain development.

First I want us to think about the word discipline and what this means in terms of how we support children.

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Punishment (Traditional) can lead to:

Fear
Resentment
Hostility / Aggression
A ‘don’t get caught’ attitude
Short term compliance
Adversarial attitude
Sense of ‘injustice’

The main purpose of punishment is not to bring about change in behaviour but to inflict pain on a person for breaking the rules

Discipline (Restorative) can lead to:

Respect / positive regard
Improved relationships
Trust
Enhanced self-control
Self regulation
Learning
Confidence
Ability / efficacy in seeking and finding solutions
Long-term change

The main purpose of discipline is to train by practice, especially to enable self control and positive regard. Discipline requires time, patience and a good sense of humour.

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What is driving the behaviours we see?

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�Why we need emotions��Emotions are universal, innate, hardwired for our survival�

Distress Fear Anger Surprise Disgust Joy

“Learning, attention, memory, decision making and social functioning are both profoundly affected by and

subsumed within the processes of emotion.”

(Immordino-Yang and Damasio 2007:3)

Many of the behaviours we observe will be controlled by emotions.

We are born with a number of basic emotions hardwired into us. The ones above are those generally recognised as innate. We can then develop up to 242 culturally dependent secondary emotions.

As you can see, most of the basic ones are negative – 5 to only 1 positive. That’s because we are hardwired for survival and the need to escape harm or danger. Those 5 negatives ones can all be experienced alone. However, joy nearly always comes from within a relationship, and it’s processed in a different part of the brain.

Of course, negative emotions can lead to positive things. Righteous anger can change the world – a sense of justice (fair/not fair) led to the end of slavery for instance. The sense of justice/fairness develops around the age of 18 months and is initially self-serving. Eventually its socially regulated through engagement with others – “I know you feel its not fair, but you need to share your toys”. Where no one socially regulates the feeling this sense of fairness remains self-serving and anger inducing.

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What can we do?

The role of emotion coaching approaches.

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Why do Emotion Coaching?

Emotion Coaching is an Evidence-based strategy.

Emotion-coached children:

Achieve more academically in school
Are more popular
Have fewer behaviour problems
Have fewer infectious illnesses
Are more emotionally stable
Are more resilient.

(Gottman et al. 1996)

What is Emotion Coaching?

Emotion Coaching is helping children to understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur and how to handle them.

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How to Emotion Coach

Step 1: Acknowledging the child’s feelings and empathising with them

Step 2: Validating the feelings and labelling them

Step 3: Setting limits on behaviour (if needed)

Step 4: Problem-solve with the child

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Example 2:

Set limits

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Restorative Approaches

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Definition of Restorative Approaches

An approach to dealing with challenging behaviour and conflict�
Focuses on building and repairing relationships
…rather than…
managing and controlling behaviour.
Which supports brain development – building brains through experiences.

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How does the restorative way work?

Those who are harmed are able to…

…have their story

heard

…be a part of

deciding what needs

to happen next

…have their hurt

mended and start

again

Those who cause harm are able to…

…take

responsibility

for their

actions

…understand

how their

actions affect

other people

…put things

right and

start again

…reflect on

what they did

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Social Discipline Window

HIGH

LOW

HIGH

Control

(Limit Setting

Discipline)

Support

(Encouragement, Nurture)

Restorative

Neglectful

Punitive

Permissive

blame

empower

ignore

excuse

Blood, 2004

Adapted from Wachtel, 1999

Low control – Low support =neglect (NOT doing anything)

High control – Low support = punishment (doing TO pupils)

Low control – High support = permissiveness (doing FOR the pupils)

High control – High support = restorative (working WITH the pupils)

Attributed to Ted Wachtel (iirp) & Paul McCold (criminologist - who has been involved in the evaluation of RP in the USA)

Point out two axes -

Vertical which can range from high to low is about rules, limit setting boundaries, parameters etc.

Horizontal - about support, encouragement, nurture etc

Swinging pendulum from punitive to permissive - give examples

Neglectful - nobody wants

Restorative - which is where we want people to be

This is NOT A NO BLAME APPROACH it’s about holding people accountable for their actions making them accept responsibility but supporting them in learning from what they have done to others - there are consequences to their actions both for themselves and others and helping them find a way of behaving differently next time.

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Why do we need restorative practice?

It gives a voice to pupils who have been harmed

It helps develop pro-social behaviours such as empathy, responsibility, problem solving and understanding of consequences

It builds communities of care with relationships founded on trust and focused on support

It supports existing practice of making, maintaining and mending relationships

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Characteristics of a Restorative Intervention

The aim is to:

Give the person a structured opportunity to learn to manage shame and/or take responsibility for their behaviour

Address any harm done

Reconcile damaged relationships

Consider how future problems can be avoided.

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A Restorative Teacher's Point of View

Relationships matter
Better the relationships, better the learning
Fewer challenges and conflicts

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A Restorative Teacher's Point of View

Connections with each other and in learning

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A Restorative Teacher's Point of View

Safer and happier = more receptive to learning
Stress and fear = reduces ability to process new information

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A Restorative Teacher's Point of View

Relationships matter for motivation and inspiration.

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A Restorative Conversation Example

Some of the pupils in Primary 6 have written and performed an example of a restorative conversation. The ideas and words come from their own experiences with this approach.

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Restorative conversation

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Zones of Regulation�

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Educational Psychology Service Website

Family nurture leaflets

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Respectme Young Filmmakers Competition and Anti-Bullying work from P6FA

We entered the Young Filmmakers Competition to use it as a springboard to explore the behaviours and emotions of bullying. We started by using RespectMe’s “Tree of Understanding” in class to discuss and document triggers and causes of bullying behaviour, behaviours seen and experienced by children and impact of these behaviours on others. We also discussed differences between bullying behaviours and friends arguing or falling out.

We played with camera angles and how these are used for impact – especially illustrating power or feeling small. We looked at impact of colour and linked it to the emotional “Zones of Regulation” we have studied. Children chose shades of red to show bullying behaviours and blues to show upset and sadness. We discussed the impact of sound and silence and explored different human sounds alongside dialogue. We mapped the film frame by frame, discussing how to make impact on our audience. We wanted to highlight different bullying behaviours and impacts. We also wanted to stress how others can help children to make it better, drawing on the title of the project. We chose a heartbeat theme to accentuate the humanity behind bullying and create a dramatic feel. (show film)

We were delighted with the achievement of making the shortlist of the final three in the competition and we attended a virtual premiere event with respectme and the Scottish Government Cabinet Secretary for Education. We weren't selected as the winner but we are still proud to have been finalists.

We followed up our work by taking our film around all the classes at Elrick. The children led lessons on the tree of understanding with each class and went on to introduce this year's anti-bullying campaign.