�SURPRISING SOLIDARITY – SPONTANEOUS SIT-IN WHEN A YOUNG PERSON THREATENS SELF-HARM

National NVR Conference, Southampton, England, 28^th June 2019

Dr. Declan Coogan, Lecturer in Social Work & Research Fellow UNESCO Child & Family Research Centre, National University of Ireland, Galway

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HOPES FOR TODAY...

• Ask the questions ‘what is it’ and ‘what happens to us’ when a child (under the age of 18 years old) has a diagnosis of mental health difficulties and uses abusive/ violent behaviour towards parents/ carers?
• Indicate the potential for the blurring the distinction between understanding and accepting abusive / violent behaviour used by some children towards parents/ carers
• Suggest can we see these problems as human rights concerns
• Demonstrate through a case example how Non Violent Resistance can give us the language and the strategies to stand up and stand strong with parents, carers and children against threats of self harm.
• What do social workers and others working with families in Ireland say about the NVR model of intervention?
• Learn from what I hear and experience here today....

WHERE AM I COMING FROM?�

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DANIEL O’ CONNELL, MARY ROBINSON, & PRESIDENT OF IRELAND, MICHAEL D HIGGINS

Cultural & historical traditions include commitment to

human rights & social justice.

PERSONAL CONTEXT…

• First encounters with ‘challenging behaviour’…..
• What happens when children use abusive/ violent behaviour towards parents/ carers?

��PARENTS EXPERIENCES IN THE RCPV PROJECT 2013-15��

• Action research project – partnership between universities & practitioners
• Involved 5 countries – Bulgaria, England, Ireland, Spain, Sweden ;
• Aims of the project included
• Awareness-raising,
• Mapping knowledge & services ;
• Sharing knowledge & experiences,
• Developing & measuring the impact of 2 practitioner training programmes ( one was NVR).
• Free reports & resources at www.rcpv.eu and www.cpvireland.ie

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��PARENTS EXPERIENCES IN THE RCPV PROJECT 2013-15��

• “...... lots of shouting,
• smashing things,
• taking my bag,
• threatening to break things, threatening behaviour,
• physical violence,
• smashing various parts of the house and being very out of control.
• This just got worse and worse. All the boundaries I had been using before just were not working”
• (Jane, mother, England).

���PARENTS EXPERIENCES IN THE RCPV PROJECT 2013-15��

• “It’s very distressing for everybody and it just stresses the other children in the family…..
• it’s very wearing, as a parent, to constantly be very conscious of what you’re saying,
• how you’re saying it, your tone of voice, and constantly being aware that situations around may influence his outbursts,
• that’s very wearing, very tiring” (Deborah, foster mother, England).

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CASE EXAMPLES ARE NOT AVAILABLE ON HANDOUTS�

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What does it do to us? What dilemmas do we have? How do we respond?

PRACTICE DILEMMAS….?

• How can I resist the impulse towards a quick and easy solution?
• How can I foster resilience and coping skills?
• In other words, how can I anchor myself & keep a clear focus?

OUR ANCHORS?�4 POINTS TO CONSIDER�

• 1. How can we understand the problems of children using abusive and/ or violent behaviour towards parents/ carers ?
• 2. Where do we stand when we hear about these problems?
• 3. What are the common factors among families who live with this problem?
• 4. What are the core principles of responding to violent and abusive behaviour?

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DIFFICULTIES IN UNDERSTANDING THE PROBLEM?

• Different definitions are used....
• There is a huge lack of training and awareness about CPVA among practitioners who work with children and families (Wilcox et al, 2015)
• Raising the topic of CPVA is difficult for practitioners within disciplines that seek to counteract demonisation of young people
• (Selwyn & Meakings, 2015)

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�1. HOW CAN WE UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM?

• Name it. Start with a clear definition....
• Child to parent violence and abuse is an abuse of power through which a child or adolescent (under the age of 18 years) coerces, controls or dominates parents/ carers
• See Coogan, 2018a, b; Coogan, 2016a, b; Wilcox et al, 2015; Lauster et al 2014; Coogan & Lauster 2014b; Holt 2013; Coogan 2012; Tew and Nixon 2010.

A CLEAR DEFINITION? IT INVOLVES FEAR & ABUSE OF POWER…

• What is the difference between children testing boundaries and child to parent violence and abuse?
• The issues of power and fear clarify the difference.
• If parents feel they must adapt their behaviour due to threats or use of violence/ abuse by a child, then there is child to parent violence and abuse.
• (Wilcox 2012; Coogan, 2016a, b; Coogan, 2018a, b).

HOW DOES CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE AND ABUSE AFFECT PARENTS?

• Feelings of isolation, shame and self-blame
• Parents fear blame from practitioners
• Practitioners may not ask about it or not respond in helpful ways.

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• (Sheehan, M 1997, Selwyn & Meakings, 2015; Lauster et al 2014; Holt 2013; Omer 2004; Gallagher 2004; Edenborough et al 2008).

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IT CAN BE VERY HARD TO SEE….

• Sometimes labels (e.g. ADHD; generalised anxiety disorder; attachment disorder) distract us from what is really going on.
• (Gallagher 2004; Tew & Nixon 2010; Coogan 2012, 2016b; Holt 2013, Wilcox et al, 2015; Coogan, 2018a)

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IT CAN BE VERY HARD TO SEE….

• It can be difficult for us to see that a child can be both a victim and a perpetrator of abuse. (Gallagher 2004; Tew & Nixon 2010; Coogan 2012, 2016a, b; Holt 2013, Wilcox et al, 2015; Coogan, 2018a,b)
• So how can we keep a clear focus on what is going on and what might be helpful?

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PAUSE POINT....REVIEW & WHAT IS NEXT?

• Where am I coming from ?
• What do we see/ hear?
• Case example
• How do we understand CPVA?
• How can we see it?
• Abusive & Violent Behaviour as Human Rights questions
• First Principles & Common Factors?
• NVR, the Sit-In & self-harm threats
• What do practitioners in Ireland say?
• Some questions....

SHORT DISCUSSION EXERCISE

HELPING US TO CLEARLY SEE THE PROBLEM- CPVA AS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE?

CPVA AS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE?

• everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person (art. 3)
• The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948)

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CPVA AS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE?

• no one should be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or
• degrading treatment or punishment (art. 5).
• The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948)

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�CPVA AS A HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE�

• Child to parent violence and abuse infringes the rights of parents and of children.
• We are challenged to take a clear position against these problems (not against the child) and to empower people to change.

RESPONDING TO CPVA WITH NON-VIOLENT RESISTANCE.

This is where we stand…..

ANCHOR POINT 2. WHERE DO WE STAND?

• CPVA is a human rights issue –
• “Explanations, even good ones, are not excuses”
• (See Gallagher, E 2004b).
• “The idea that any behaviour is inevitable,
• uncontrollable,
• or excusable by gender,
• diagnosis or past experience
• is simplistic, discriminatory and unhelpful.” (Gallagher, E 2004b).

ANCHOR POINT 2. WHERE DO WE STAND?

• A zero tolerance towards the use of any and all abusive and/ or violent behaviour by anyone
• Understanding does not mean accepting abuse/ violence.

WHERE DO WE STAND?�NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE INTERVENTION MODEL �– IT IS ABOUT INFLUENCE, NOT CONTROL....

NVR aims at positively influencing the interactions between the child using abusive/ violent behaviour and the systems within which she/ he lives, moves & relates

CASE EXAMPLE

• Case examples are not available on handouts....�

1. UNDERSTANDING; 2. WHERE DO WE STAND;�ANCHOR POINT 3. WHAT ARE THE COMMON FACTORS AMONG FAMILIES?

• By the way, a note of caution.....
• Family composition?
• Family socio-economic status?
• Gender?
• Culture?
• Family experiences of domestic violence/ abuse?
• Juvenile Offending Behaviour?

• Attachment difficulties/ disorders
• Learning difficulties?
• School difficulties?
• Mental health concerns/ diagnosis?
• Parental or child alcohol/ drug abuse?
• Experiences of child abuse and neglect?

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IT SEEMS…….

• But practice experience & research suggests…

• NONE OF THE ABOVE

PARENTS WHO FEEL ISOLATED & ALONE, WITHOUT SUPPORT.

RELATIONSHIP OR INTERACTION HABITS WITH ESCALATION CYCLES THAT LEAD TO ABUSE/ VIOLENCE

FEAR OF THEIR CHILD, HELPLESSNESS, HOPELESSNESS

PAUSE FOR THOUGHT – IMPLICATIONS FOR PRACTICE?

• If fear & helplessness,
• Isolation and
• relationship habits with escalation cycles are common among some families we work with,
• what are the implications of these common factors for what we do next when children become violent?

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IMPLICATIONS? WE CAN HELP BY....

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• Making clear where we stand – there is never any excuse for abusive behaviour
• Inviting parents/ carers to adopt a similar stance & commit to non-violence
• Identifying and providing concrete skills and practical support that restore confidence & competence
• For example- de-escalate; press the pause button; increase positive parental presence

• Identify different habits/ patterns of relationship and interaction – change some, reinforce others (strengths-based practice)
• Reduce social isolation by activating social networks

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1. UNDERSTANDING; 2. WHERE DO WE STAND;�3. WHAT ARE THE COMMON FACTORS AMONG FAMILIES; �ANCHOR POINT 4. SOME CORE PRINCIPLES?

• With NVR, the focus is especially on adult responses to the child’s behaviour.

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• Through NVR, adults use the power of
• school and parental support
• and of ‘public opinion’ (directly involving family, students, friends, wider school community).

NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE – STARTING POINTS.

• Unacceptable power base of using sanctions/ consequences is abandoned.
• Through implementing NVR, adults develop skills to use instead the positive power of

authoritative presence,

social support &

determined resistance to the child’s abusive

and/ or violent behaviours.

CASE EXAMPLE:�‘POSITIVE CHANGES, BUT WHAT IF?’

• Not available on handouts�

WHAT DO PRACTITIONERS IN IRELAND SAY ABOUT NON-VIOLENT RESISTANCE ?(COOGAN, 2016A), LISTENING TO THE VOICES OF PRACTITIONERS….; COOGAN 2018.)

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CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE – AN EXPLORATION OF NON-VIOLENT RESISTANCE (COOGAN, 2016A)

• Action research & constructivist grounded theory project:
• 3 Research Questions:
• How do child and family practitioners assess, engage with and intervene with CPV?
• What is the response of practitioners to the adapted NVR programme?
• What is the effect, if any, of the NVR training on practitioner self-efficacy?

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CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE – AN EXPLORATION OF NON-VIOLENT RESISTANCE (COOGAN, 2016A)

• Development of NVR 2 day training programme
• Ethical approval (NUI Galway)
• Pilot training programme
• Full implementation of training, data collection & analysis.

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CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE – AN EXPLORATION OF NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE.

• Quantitative Questionnaires.
• Pre (T1); Post (T2); Follow Up (T3).
• Family Support Practitioners in Dublin city;
• Multi-agency family support group in west of Ireland
• Child protection social workers in west of Ireland.
• Wait-list control group (domestic violence service).
• Components of Practitioner Self-Efficacy:
• Knowledge & Skill; Understanding;
• Confidence;
• Conversations.

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INTERVENTION WITH CHILD TO PARENT VIOLENCE – AN EXPLORATION OF NON VIOLENT RESISTANCE.

• Qualitative interviews post training.
• 19 in total:
• voluntary agencies = 15;
• statutory agency = 4.
• Grounded theory method of data analysis & interpretation – support; ‘players’; empowerment.

WHAT DID PRACTITIONERS IN IRELAND SAY ABOUT NVR? (COOGAN, 2016A)

• Participants responses to the 2 day NVR training programme indicated that their sense of self-efficacy significantly increased:
• ++Awareness & understanding of CPV
• ++Confidence & skill in responding to CPV
• Practitioners reported that NVR had positive outcomes when implemented by parents with whom they worked

WHAT DID PRACTITIONERS IN IRELAND SAY ABOUT NVR? (COOGAN, 2016A)

• “I think NVR looks like a very good approach... where parents really have lost, you know, their own sense of their own power and are feeling a sense of helplessness and hopelessness around it....”
• ‘Sean’, Family Support Centre, Voluntary Service.

WHAT DID PRACTITIONERS IN IRELAND SAY ABOUT NVR? (COOGAN, 2016A)

• So I think, the model, the steps were quite clear and I liked that about it.
• It was kind of something that you could get your head round and, and take a parent through.
• ‘Cian’, Child Protection Social Worker

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WHAT DID PRACTITIONERS IN IRELAND SAY ABOUT NVR? (COOGAN, 2016A)

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• “That was one of the main things that stood out for me about it, that it was more kind of co-operative and open and with dialogue….People feel more listened to”
• ‘Kate’, Child Protection Social Worker.

NVR IN IRELAND TODAY...AND IN THE FUTURE?

• 700+ children & family practitioners trained in NVR in Ireland
• NVR trained practitioners are standing with parents in different services:
• Mental Health
• Family Support
• Youth Justice
• Psychotherapists in Private practice
• Practitioner/ researcher partnerships
• RCPV Project
• Practitioner as a part-time PhD student – Parents & NVR

���NVR IN IRELAND – AN ADAPTED MODEL. WHAT IS HAPPENING?���

• Experiences of Peter, Ann, Pat and other families,
• Experiences from RCPV project and other research
• Feedback from service managers and practitioners
• Requests for training in NVR.
• NVR seems to be an easy to grasp model responding to the needs of families and services for a
• Brief & effective
• & non-blaming intervention model that empowers and supports parents, while also protecting children.

NVR IN IRELAND TODAY...AND IN THE FUTURE?

• A national telephone support service in Ireland offers NVR as one of the supports for parents who call them – Parentline
• Launch of NVR Ireland Network & Steering Group
• Inter-disciplinary course for practitioners in Non Violent Practice at National University of Ireland Galway ( 5 day course)
• 2 day NVR training for practitioners continues throughout Ireland
• (in July 2019, there are training events scheduled for Limerick city – Mid-West of Ireland – and Belfast – Northern Ireland)

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• Websites www.cpvireland.ie & www.newauthorityparenting.ie
• www.rcpv.eu

NVR IN IRELAND TODAY...AND IN THE FUTURE?

• A practitioner needs to be ‘lucky’ to find NVR training
• A parent needs to be ‘lucky’ to find NVR
• How to inform evidence based practice (where evidence is limited)?
• NVR principles & practices – what is essential?
• Is CPVA a domestic violence problem?
• The place & voice of the child in NVR intervention?

THANK YOU�ANY QUESTIONS?

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• Paperback book available at www.jkp.com and www.amazon.com
• Some useful resources: www.cpvireland.ie and also www.newauthorityparenting.ie and www.rcpv.eu
• My email? Declanp.coogan@nuigalway.ie

REFERENCES

• Coogan, D (2018a) Child to Parent Violence and Abuse – Family Interventions with Non Violent Resistance. London. Jessica Kingsley.
• Coogan, D (2018b) Strength through Solidarity: Parents and Practitioners Resisting Child to Parent Violence and Abuse in Ireland. Chapter 9, pp173-191 in Holt, S, Overlien, C and Devaney, J (2018) Responding to Domestic Violence – Emerging Challenges for Practice and Research in Europe London. Jessica Kingsley.
• Coogan, D (2016a) Child to Parent Violence – An Exploration of Non Violent Resistance. Unpublished PhD thesis, School of Political Science & Sociology, NUI Galway.
• Coogan, D (2016b) Listening to the Voices of Practitioners who encounter Child to Parent Violence and Abuse: some findings from an action research project with practitioners in Ireland, Irish Social Worker Journal, Winter, 2016: 41-48
• Coogan, D (2014) Responding to Child to Parent Violence – Innovative practices in child and adolescent mental health. Health and Social Work. Vol 39, No. 2. Doi:10.1093/hsw/hlu011.

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REFERENCES

• Coogan, D & Lauster L (2014) Restoring Confidence & competence – non violent resistance as a response to child to parent violence in Ireland. Context – Magazine for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice. 132 (April 2014), 29-31.
• Coogan, D (2011) Child to Parent Violence – Challenging Perspectives on Family Violence. Child Care in Practice Vol.17, No. 4: 347-358.
• Gallagher, E 2004a Parents Victimised by their Children, Australia New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy (ANZJFT), Vol. 25, No1: 1-12.
• Lauster, E., Quinn, A., Brosnahan, J., Coogan, D. (2014) Practical Strategies for Coping with Child-to-Parent Violence: The Non Violent Resistance Programme in Practice. Irish Probation Journal, 11 (Oct):208-221.
• Omer, H (2004) Nonviolent Resistance – A New Approach to Violent and Self-Destructive Children. Cambridge, UK. Cambridge University Press.
• Omer, H (2011) The New Authority – Family, School and Community. Cambridge, UK, New York. Cambridge University Press.
• Omer, H & Dolberger D I (2015) Helping Parents Cope with Suicide Threats: An Approach based on Nonviolent Resistance Family Process 54: 559-575

REFERENCES

• Weinblatt, U & Omer, H (2008) Nonviolent resistance: a treatment for parents of children with acute behaviour problems. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Vol. 34. No. 1, 75-92.
• Wilcox, P (2012) Is Parent Abuse a Form of Domestic Violence? Social Policy and Society. 11 (2), 277-288.
• Wilcox, P, Pooley, M, Ferrando, M, Coogan, D, Lauster, E, Assenova, A & Mortensen, U (2015) Responding to Child to Parent Violence – Executive Summary of the Responding to Child to Parent Violence Project. Brighton. Responding to Child to Parent Violence Project. Available in English and Irish at http://www.rcpv.eu/research

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