Empowering Parents as �Family Spiritual Leaders
Principal Brad Gurgel - Mt. Calvary Lutheran School
“Spiritual Outsourcing”
A 2021 WELS Family Ministry Task Force identified a hindrance to family devotional life is a growing trend of parents wanting to “outsource” the spiritual training of their children to churches, schools, or other programs and groups
Spiritual Outsourcing
“65% of American Christians report they do not read the Bible regularly either individually or as a family”��- Lifeway Research 2017
St. Peter Lutheran Church and School Families
“Spiritual Outsourcing”
“85 percent of churchgoing parents believe that they are the ones ultimately responsible for the moral and spiritual development of their children, yet two out of three of them hand over that responsibility to their local church”
- Barna (2009)
“Spiritual Outsourcing”
“Our children are not falling away because the church is doing a poor job, [but] because we are asking the church to do what God designed the family to accomplish” -
Family driven faith: Doing what it takes to raise sons and daughters who walk with God. (Bauchum, 2007)
“Spiritual Outsourcing”
“Churches have exacerbated the problem by inadvertently usurping the role of Christian parents in the discipleship process”
- Education is discipleship: So who’s really discipling your kids? (Anderson, 2016)
Parents: The Primary Spiritual Caretakers
“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
Proverbs 22:6
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Ephesians 6:4
Parents: The Primary Spiritual Caretakers
“The primary responsibility of spiritual training of children is not something that parents can relinquish or “hand-off” to others. Parents must take this role seriously and carry out this role faithfully in their homes if they want their children to see God and His Word as the number one priority and most essential part of their lives.”
- In a changing world...An unchanging challenge: God's plan for rearing children. (Kastens, 1992)
Parents: The Primary Spiritual Caretakers
“Children observe in day-to-day home life if the things they are taught in church and school are really true. Actions, in many ways, speak louder than words. Having parents model a dedication to living out the Word of God in the home means children learn and see from experience what it means to live out God’s Word in their daily lives.”
- Sharing the promise with our children - WELS Board for Parish Services (1996)
Parent Encouragement Needed!
"Satan is a powerful spiritual enemy. He is extremely effective in getting the priority lists of Christians so mixed-up and focused on things that don’t eternally matter. Satan is also equally effective in leading Christians astray into indifference about what truly does matter.”
- Raising children in the paideia of the Lord. (Heidenreich, 2012)
Parent Encouragement Needed!
“88% of WELS youths have critical doubts about faith issues before they head off to college.”
�“Twenty-three percent of those in Generation X and over thirty-four percent of Millennials identify themselves as being religiously unaffiliated.”
- WELS Survey and Report (Hein, 2016)�
“40 to 50 percent of Christians abandoned their faith by the time they graduated from college.”
- Fuller Youth Institute (2011)
Parent Encouragement Needed!
“Unless what is taught in church and school is reinforced at home in the words, actions, and priorities of the parents, the spiritual truths children learn will not be seen as fully real, important, relevant, or true.”
- Sharing the promise with our children - WELS Board for Parish Services (1996)
Parent Encouragement Needed!
“When parents embrace their responsibility as their family’s primary spiritual leaders, then God’s Word changes from something children occasionally interact with at church or school into something that truly becomes the central part of the family’s life as the Lord desires it to be!”
- Encouraging Parents in the Spiritual Growth of their Children (Gurgel, 2021)
A Role of Growing Importance �for Lutheran Teachers…
“An ever-increasing number of children from these biblically disconnected homes are showing up in Lutheran school classrooms.”
- Empowering Parents as Family Leaders (2023)
A Role of Growing Importance �for Lutheran Teachers…
“Reversing this trend and re-focusing efforts on supporting parents in seizing their role as the primary spiritual leaders of their children is vital in effectively raising children in God’s Word.”
- In a changing world...An unchanging challenge: God's plan for rearing children (Kastens, 1992)
A Role of Growing Importance �for Lutheran Teachers…
“Since children are most strongly impacted by their parents’ faithfulness to God’s Word, fostering spiritual families must be a goal of our Lutheran schools.”
- WELS Family Ministry Task Force (2021)
How?
Empowering Parents…
Recognizing the Vital Role
Recognizing the Vital Role
“Psalm 78 is a powerful reminder from the Bible that Christianity is never more than one generation old and can quickly be lost for generations to come if parents are not faithful in sharing God’s Word with their children. Therefore, it is correct to say that God has placed the spiritual care of several generations into the hands of parents as they serve as spiritual leaders in their homes. This is truly a humbling responsibility for parents to take very seriously!”
- Sharing the promise with our children - WELS Board for Parish Services (1996)
Recognizing the Vital Role
“It is critical for parents to understand that if they neglect to teach a Biblical worldview to their children, the secular world will quickly fill that void with many teachings and worldviews that are contrary to the Word of God.”
- Religious affiliation, education and internet use (Downey, 2014)
The Powerful Benefits of a Family in the Word
“Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word about Christ.”
Romans 10:17
The Powerful Benefits of a Family in the Word
“Being in God’s Word together regularly refreshes Christians with the comforting promises of God and keeps those who hear it focused on their purpose in life as dearly loved and redeemed children of God. God’s Word reminds us that we have the daily opportunity to reflect our love for Jesus and changes our hearts to want to reflect the love of Jesus in how we serve and care for one another. In fact, it can be strongly argued that no other single custom our family carries out contributes as powerfully to keeping a family functionally Christian as carrying out family devotions.”
- Symposium: The uniqueness of the Christian scriptures. In The proper use of scripture in family devotion. (Schultz, 1993)
The Powerful Benefits of a Family in the Word
“Only 11% of those who abandon their childhood Christian faith say they came from a home where faith was vibrantly taught and practiced.”
- Millennial faith participation and retention. Focus on the family (Stanton, 2013)
�“More than two-thirds of Christians who remained faithful into adulthood said they were predominately influenced by their fathers or mothers.”��- “How Faith Heritage Relates to Faith Practice” (Barna Group, 2019)�
“When family devotions were held regularly, the retention rate of children remaining faithful to God’s Word was 80% higher than average.”
- WELS Demographic Study, Report & Survey (Hein, 2016)
Overcoming Road Blocks
Roadblock: Priority/Time
“In our modern, fast-paced American society, parents report being busier than ever and often feeling overwhelmed. Families today struggle to balance the many “pulls” of work, education, young people’s activities, and their own personal lives. Today’s family life is more complex and busy than in prior decades. When not emphasized at home, God’s Word easily slides down the family list of priorities to where it can become an afterthought.”
- Families at the Cent of Faith Formation (Roberto et al., 2016).
Roadblock: Family/Societal Norms
“American social pressures place expectations on males and fathers to be self-reliant and emotionally tough. A negative value is placed on being overly religious. In many families, sports, after-school activities, recreation, or entertainment take priority over the Word of God.”
- Symposium: The uniqueness of the Christian scriptures. In The proper use of scripture in family devotion. (Schultz, 1993)
Roadblock: Lack of a Spiritual Role Model
“All too many have grown up in Christian homes where family devotions and personal Bible study were relics of grandpa and grandma’s day. All too many have grown up with TV as their most frequent teacher of morals and values. The concept of being a Christian family empowered by the word regularly shared together is something far too few people have experienced.”
- Challenges Facing our Ministry in the 21st Century (R. Gurgel, 2016)
Roadblock: Lack of Confidence
“Parents may lack confidence in their own knowledge of Scripture and, therefore, their ability to lead spiritual discussions or effectively answer questions their children may ask. Fathers, especially, are prone to want to avoid situations in which they may feel embarrassed in front of their family members. Fathers may fear that they are inadequate to carry out the role of spiritual family head.”
- Symposium: The uniqueness of the Christian scriptures. In The proper use of scripture in family devotion. (Schultz, 1993)
Priority
\
Priority
“There is no greater and more impactful responsibility that God has given to parents than to raise their children to know their Savior, Jesus. While parents do so many things for their children on a daily basis, the only thing that impacts them eternally is time spent with their children learning and applying God’s Word to their lives.”
- Have you built a family altar? The Hausvater Project (MacPherson, 2016)
Time
Time
Time
Time
Lack of a Spiritual Role Model
Modeling a Family Devotion
Confidence in Biblical Knowledge
The most effective faith talk isn’t being able to accurately rattle off Bible trivia. It’s telling your children how your faith in Jesus has impacted your life!
Lack of Parent Confidence
How to Create a Family of Loyal Sports Fans…
- Almost never miss a game on TV or in person
- Show enthusiasm and joy in cheering on the team
- Talk and debate about the team and its athletes at the dinner table, in the car, and at family gatherings
- Read in the sports section or internet stories about the team each day
- Wear team apparel whenever possible
- Decorate your home with team logos and gear
- Go out into the yard and to reenact with your children the big plays and big moments seen in the games
Deuteronomy 6:6-10
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
It doesn’t all depend on us!
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 15:13
Confidence Building Tips
- It’s ok to say, “I don’t know”. Write down a list of questions to take to the pastor. (Modeling the importance of life-long Christian growth and learning is a powerful lesson for your children!)
- Start & Develop a routine
- Be ready for some pushback at first (eventually it will become something “we just do” as a family)
- Keep it short and simple to begin
- Encourage “family faith talk” with open-ended and self-application questions (Luther’s four strands approach)
Providing Helpful Resources
Organization-Wide Devotion Plan
Useful Devotional Resources
Preschool-Kindergarten
Grades 1-4
Grades 1-6
Grades 5-8
Useful Devotional Resources
Encouraging the Plan
1) Weekly readings listed in the school/church publications
2) Parent/Teacher conference check-ins
3) Connections made in chapel and daily school lessons by teaching staff (a regular faculty meeting topic!)
4) Sermon connections
5) Encouragement at Men’s and Women’s Bible Studies
6) Ability to talk about the week’s stories with anyone in the organization at any time!
7) Big Kick-Off Event
Other Useful Devotional Resources
- WELS Daily “Time of Grace Videos” on Youtube
- WELS Daily Devotions (Google This)
- WELS Family Devotions (3x per week) (Google This)
- Monthly Meditations Booklets
- Christ Light Lesson Sheets
Luther’s “Four Strands” Approach
1) What does the Lord expect of me in these words?
2) What do I have to give thanks for in these words?
3) What sins do these words lead me to repent of?
4) What do these words remind me to pray for?
Empowered by God’s Grace!
For Staff Discussion
How confident do you feel in encouraging and coaching parents of your students in being spiritual leaders at home and in reading the Bible regularly together? �
What additional resources, encouragement, or training would help you feel more comfortable carrying out that role?�
Does your church and school ministry leave adequate time for families to engage in the Word of God at home or do family schedules regularly fill up with athletic/extra-curricular/spiritual events run by the church and school?
When might be effective times for your staff to engage parents in discussions about their role as family spiritual leaders?
For Discussion
Resources
These Slides:�https://tinyurl.com/openlearningdevotions
Editable Organization-Wide Devotion Plan Resources:
www.saintpeterlutheran.org/familybiblestudy�
Field Project on Organization-Wide Family Devotions:
https://tinyurl.com/fieldprojectdevotions
Principal Brad Gurgel�407-274-7899�bgurgel@mountcalvarywaukesha.org