DE-ESCALATION

David McKinley�

CAP All Teams Meeting - April 7, 2025

What is the MISSION of this

DE-ESCALATION TRAINING?

Mission

Our practice of de-escalation lifts up and strengthens our community by keeping people safe from harmful scenarios.

We will learn non-physical skills to prevent an escalated situation from intensifying further.

This training is also a tool to empower team members and community members to have deeper understanding of who we are.

Let’s learn about our strengths, triggers, and when to ask for help.

With knowledge of self comes the power to act from an informed place.

What is the PROBLEM we �are addressing?

Problem(s) being addressed:

Due to economic and social inequality in San Francisco, many members of our community are pushed into harsh circumstances that deny their human rights.

People are forced to live in an escalated state of survival, fight or flight because their basic needs are not being met.

The conditions created by the lack of support around housing, mental health, substance use assistance and financial stability lay the groundwork for confrontations to escalate to a place of physical and mental harm.

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How can we as a community…

1. Recognize that people are people – and often are escalated due to being faced with constant crises, violence, food and housing insecurity

2. Bring down the temperature in heated confrontations to avoid harmful outcomes, and get to the root of why their is confrontation in the first place?

Trauma and Mental Health Shape Behaviors – Karens Story

Introduction to Karen: A real Tenderloin resident. �

• Age, 35 Identity: 5’0” Asian American woman navigating homelessness in SF’s Tenderloin.
• Mental Health: Diagnosed with schizophrenia, personality disorders, and experiencing audible voices (multiple personas)
• Behavior History: Banned from most nonprofits and shelters due to aggressive acts—physical violence, spitting, kicking, racist tirades, etc.
• Personal Experience: Regularly assaulted and victimized while on the streets of the Tenderloin for over a DECADE.
• Karen’s case reflects severe trauma and mental health challenges. How would her personal experience impact her behavior?

My Experience With Karen

Daily Interactions with Karen at a Homeless Drop-In Center�

• Karen was denied services at EVERY non-profit organization. Including ours at this point –I’d give her coffee, and hygiene supplies at the door, and attempt to engage in sidewalk case-management
• Karen would throw hot coffee on me and spit at me daily. (I always brought an extra shirt just for Karen!)
• Despite the aggression I had a huge heart for Karen, if I didn’t work with her – no one would
• I recognized that her externalized behavior was a reflection of her internal state. Karen was in pain.
• Karen’s case reflects severe trauma and mental health challenges. How would her personal experience impact her behavior?

Root Causes of Karen’s Behavior

Trauma, Victimization, and Mental Health�

• Chronic Exposure to Violence: Karen was beaten, violated, and victimized while homeless.
• Impact on Trust: Repeated harm led to deep mistrust of others, including care providers.
• Long-Term Trauma: Escalated mental health symptoms (schizophrenia + multiple audible voices).
• Defensive Behavior: Aggression as a survival mechanism in a hostile environment.
• Who does this sound like: Everyone in our community!
• At this point the science behind trauma (including escalated behaviors) is clear - ACEs

Connecting Trauma to De-escalation

Why Understanding The Root Cause Matters!�

• Trauma-Informed Approach: Recognize aggression may be a protective response born from trauma.
• Building Empathy: Viewing negative behavior as manifestation of pain can shift our response from punishment or fear to understanding and empathy.
• Effective De-Escalation: When we see beyond the behavior, we can tailor responses that validate emotional states and avoid power struggles.

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Putting it All Together

Karen’s Story as a Teaching Moment�

• Root Causes: Long history of trauma, repeated victimization.
• Behavior: Physical and verbal aggression, spitting, kicking.
• Response: Compassion, empathy, consistent de-escalation strategies, while maintaining safety.
• Outcome: De-escalation is not about excusing harmful behavior; it’s about understanding it so we can respond more effectively.

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Key Takeaways & Discussion / Practice

Reflections and Next Steps

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• Root Causes: Trauma can manifest as aggression.
• Empathy as a Tool: Seeing the person’s pain helps us respond rather than react.
• Behavior = Communication: Aggression often communicates need, fear, or despair.
• Practical Skills: Active listening, neutral body language, manifesting confidence
• Practice: Participants share any insights or experiences with similar scenarios.
• Practice: Neutral confident body language – Stand, Pose and Cat walk!

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Closing Karens Story – Karen and the Distracted Monk

Reflections and Next Steps �The Master listens calmly and then explains that the person is deeply suffering—their outward noise is actually an expression of inner pain. Instead of treating the disruptor with anger or condemnation, the master encourages the trainee to extend empathy and see that the person’s behavior stems from genuine distress or trauma.

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By recognizing the person’s pain as the root cause of the disturbance, the monk understands that the real practice of Zen—beyond just sitting still—is to cultivate a compassionate heart. In other words, existing in a world of escalation and pain isn’t about shutting out the world’s noise but about engaging with it empathetically. Ultimately, the monk learns to approach the disruptive individual with understanding and assistance rather than anger or resentment, transforming both his own inner turmoil and the other person’s suffering.

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Some Skills and Insights:

• The body's alarm system
• Identify self as fight/flight/freeze
• De-escalate self before entering conflict
• Learning effective non-verbal communication
• Three De-escalation techniques
• Necessary conversational Strategies for De-escalation

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Strategy - Self Awareness

How do you know when you are being personally, emotionally, or physically threatened?

Trust your instincts

� Don’t ignore the situation

You will “feel” it

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Strategy - De-escalating Yourself

De-escalation techniques do not come naturally. We are driven to fight, flee, or freeze when confronted by an angry person or a perceived threat. ��However, in de-escalation we can do none of these. We must appear centered and calm. Therefore de-escalation techniques must be practiced before they are needed so that they can become second nature.

Strategy - De-escalating Yourself (cont.)

Slow down�Pause, take a deep breath, calm your body

Assess the situation�- Can I do this? �- Who can do this? �- Is this a situation that requires emergency services?

Maintain Self Control�- Adapt a positive mindset�- Understand the impacts of trauma related to client behavior (develop empathy)�- Depersonalize��Control body signals (stance, posture, gestures, reactions, etc)�- Know your buttons (Do you know what they are?)�- Avoid content and stick to de-escalation tools (We’ll further discuss)�- Be creative in your approach to dealing with challenging behavior �- Practice self-reflection�- Listen to feedback, process emotions, commit to improvement

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Be present for the situation but detach yourself from behavior and outcome.

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Strategy - De-escalating Yourself (cont.)

WHEN ASSESSING THE SITUATION, ASK YOURSELF:

You do not have to “solve” every engagement. We only can do our best within our own capacity.

You will not be able to intervene or engage in de-escalation in every situation. Before entering an engagement do an assessment of the situation and your comfort in potentially engaging. ��You do not want to attempt to de-escalate a situation that has already escalated to violence. An engagement may be a trigger to you, can someone else take the lead in the engagement?

Some engagements, such as violent encounters, or high level medical interventions, are best handled by emergency service providers.

Strategy - Know the Body’s Alarm System

What Happens During the Fight-or-Flight Response?

In response to acute stress, the body's sympathetic nervous system is activated due to the sudden release of hormones. The sympathetic nervous system stimulates the adrenal glands, triggering the release of hormones which include adrenaline and noradrenaline. This results in an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate. After the threat is gone, it takes between 20 to 60 minutes for the body to return to its pre-arousal levels.

You can probably think of a time when you experienced the fight-or-flight response. In the face of something frightening, your heartbeat quickened, you being breathing faster, and your entire body becomes tense and ready to take action.

Strategy - Fight, Flight, Freeze

FIGHT

PRO: Useful for distraction, fight types run towards danger – willing to help and engage in problem solving

CON: Typically does not have a plan; not analytical in the heat of the moment, prone to being escalated

FLIGHT

PRO: Can run to get help, call more team members, can run to call the police (Super useful!)

CON: If they leave the scene to get help or call authorities, they leave a support gap for the Fight/Freeze person, can be prone to panic if they are the target of aggressive behavior

VS

VS

FREEZE

PRO: Freeze people physically shut down, but their brains are hyperactive. They remember details of events such as time, initial interactions, who was the aggressor, what they looked like, what they were wearing etc. Very useful for reporting back on events, writing incident reports, etc.

CON: They physically shut down and overwhelmed when presented with aggression. May take longer to mentally emotionally recover from instances of aggression.

Activity - Introduction

• The goal of de-escalation is to build rapid rapport and a sense of connectedness with an agitated person in order to reduce the likelihood of escalation to physical violence. �
• This sense of connectedness is established through the use of specific verbal, psychological, and nonverbal techniques that emphasize controlling one’s own emotional response to threat while guiding communication.�
• This activity will give everyone a chance to experience and reflect upon their reactions in the presence of someone who is behaving in a potentially aggressive manner.�
• Understanding these dynamics now can help you maintain your composure and work more effectively in an actual crisis situation.

Activity - Warm Up

THINK:

- What are some body language signs that suggest someone is agitated and escalating towards physical violence?

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- Think of an example of when you’ve dealt with someone acting aggressively toward you or around you. What did you notice about their body language/ physical state? 

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With your neighbor: � Talk about the questions above (1 minute for each partner)

Activity - Warm Up

THINK:

- What are some body language signs that suggest someone is not aggressive, and is prepared to de-escalate violence?

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With your neighbor: � Talk about the questions above (30 seconds for each partner)

Activity - De-escalation Line Dance

DISCLAIMER! In this activity, we will ask you to reflect on their thoughts and feelings in a situation with someone who may be escalating into violence. If you want to opt out, you may.

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INSTRUCTIONS:

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Don’t move until we give you all of the instructions! �

For this activity, each partner will take a turn both yelling and acting aggressively, and noticing your reactions to the aggression displayed. Don’t be shy, either! Get into the role to feel the impacts! �

The Partner 1 will move and gesture towards the Partner 2, using some of the aggressive body language the group just described (30-60 seconds). Partner 2 will stay in place and notice their own physical responses. Then the partners will switch roles.�

Remember that everyone will be acting in this aggressive role. There will be no physical contact and no real aggression.

Activity - De-escalation Line Dance

INSTRUCTIONS CONTINUED:

(Again) don’t move until we give you all of the instructions! �

Next, we are going to:

• Create two sets of parallel “lines” in this room. �
• Pair up: Identify the person directly across from you. They are your partner.�
• If you need to step into a corner for more space, you can! As long as you are with your partner.  

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Activity - De-escalation Line Dance

PART 1: Observation

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1. Partner 1 will move towards Partner 2 using some of the negative body language suggesting escalation.�

2. Partner 2 to remain stationary and observe and notice their physical responses to their partner’s movements.�

[30 seconds]

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1. Switch roles so that Partner 2 uses negative body language and Partner 1 observes their own physical reaction.�

[30 seconds]

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Refresher: De-escalating Yourself

Slow down�Pause, take a deep breath, calm your body

Assess the situation�- Can I do this? �- Who can do this? �- Is this a situation that requires emergency services?

Maintain Self Control�- Adapt a positive mindset�- Understand the impacts of trauma related to client behavior (develop empathy)�- Depersonalize��Control body signals (stance, posture, gestures, reactions, etc)�- Know your buttons (Do you know what they are?)�- Avoid content and stick to de-escalation tools (We’ll further discuss)�- Be creative in your approach to dealing with challenging behavior �- Practice self-reflection�- Listen to feedback, process emotions, commit to improvement

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Be present for the situation but detach yourself from behavior and outcome.

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Activity - De-escalation Line Dance

PART 2: De-escalating Ourselves

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1. Partner 1 will move towards Partner 2 using some of the negative body language suggesting escalation.�

2. Partner 2 will use de-escalation techniques to respond to Partner 1

[60 seconds]

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3. Switch roles so that Partner 2 uses negative body language and Partner 1 use de-escalation techniques to respond.

[60 seconds]

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• What did you notice in yourself when you were approached in an aggressive or non-aggressive way?

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• What was it like to stand still and simply notice your reactions in the face of someone’s aggressive movements?

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• How was the de-escalating yourself part of the activity different?

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• How does this activity help you think about your own body language and reactions and what they communicate in an escalating environment?

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Activity - Debrief

REMEMBER: De-escalation begins with our own personal assessment of how we are communicating in the situation. 

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Remember the six strategies to use:

1. Act calm
2. Use non-verbal skills
3. Reassure yourself
4. Position yourself for safety
5. Know where and how to get support
6. Know your hot buttons

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Activity - Debrief

Let’s release some tension!

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For 30 seconds: LAUGH!

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Now, for 30 seconds: STRETCH!

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Activity - Decompress

Strategy - Effective Communication for De-escalation

Strategy - Non-Verbal Communication

Strategy - Managing Client Behavior

Strategy - Managing Client Behavior (cont.)

When two community members are engaged in an escalated conflict:

• Do not “crowd” or “corner” someone who is escalated or in crises
• Its best to engage in pairs for safety and support but only ONE person should be verbally engaging with the community member (two people talking at the same time will further confuse/escalate someone experiencing crises/escalation)
• Create a system to identify who the point person should be before entering the engagement / assess each person's level of comfort in the moment
• The team member not engaging, will stand in proximity of the teammate engaging demonstrating a calm, and supporting presence
• Ask “what's going on?”
• Speak to the person you know best (building a rapport with community members is ideal for effective de-escalation/information and referral/intervention engagements)
• Stay Neutral – Avoid taking sides
• Study “non-verbal communication” so you can anticipate what might happen next

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Strategy - 3 De-escalation Tools

Strategy - Interrupt, Ignore, Redirect, Reward

During the Pre-violent stage of managing violence, it is often possible for staff to divert the sequence of negative events by relatively non-intrusive methods.

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When used individually, the following techniques have limited utility, but when implemented smoothly and in sequence, INTERRUPT, IGNORE, REDIRECT, REWARD, can be quite effective and powerful. The developer of this sequential strategy, John McGee, has written extensively on the effectiveness of these strategies in the teaching environment.

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The first thing to do in order to break the chain of behaviors is by interrupting the flow of events. Sometimes this can be achieved by saying the upset person's name or by calling attention to something in the environment.

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Ignoring means that the early stage of a negative behavioral sequence is not visibly responded to, in order to avoid inadvertently reinforcing it. It does not mean that the early danger signs are truly ignored and it certainly does not mean that dangerous behaviors are ever ignored.

Strategy - Interrupt, Ignore, Redirect, Reward (cont.)

Billy is headed toward the window with a large hammer in his hand while mumbling to himself.

Use the behavioral sequence to intervene with Billy.

Interrupt

Ignore

Reward

Redirect

Strategy - The Broken Record Technique

1. The Broken Record Technique is a form of assertive behavior.

2. It is a verbal response that is firm and clear and conveys a message that you mean what you say.

3. It tends to work well in situations where people want to argue, don’t want to listen, are non-compliant with instructions, forgetful or disorganized.

4. Your aim is not to upset or offend but rather to prevent further conflict, manage care more effectively or clarify information.

5. You acknowledge what the person is saying or doing but repeat the same expectations in the same or similar words with a polite but firm tone. For example;

Person 1: “I told you that was hurtful. Please don't say it again.”

Person 2: “You're too sensitive.”

Person 1: “I said it was hurtful. Don't say it again.”

Person 2: “I didn't mean it that way.”

Person 1: “It is hurtful. Don't say it again.”

6. Initially the person may continue with the undesired behavior but as you repeat your expectations your message is reinforced and your participant/resident is more likely to comply.

7. Once you have decided what you want from someone else don’t change your mind or give in. This sends the message that you don’t really mean what you say and can be confusing.

8. Provided that your manner is not aggressive people tend to get the message without feeling threatened.

9. When behaviors change, compliance is attained or the problem goes away remember to acknowledge the improvements, give praise where it is due or simply say thanks.

10. Always let your colleagues know what you are doing so that they don’t inadvertently sabotage your plans.

Strategy - Limit Setting

Strategy - Limit setting continued

LIMIT SETTING SHOULD BE

Strategy - Necessary Strategies for Effective Crisis Intervention

Crisis intervention can not be effective without using the following intervention strategies:�

• Empathy statements
• Avoiding content
• Reality statements
• Offering options
• Praising Compromise
• Coupling statements

What do these strategies look like?

Strategy - Empathy Statements

Empathy statements are not focused on relating your own experiences to those of the client, but should be focused on acknowledging the challenging circumstances the client is experiencing.

Statements to use with caution:

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“I can see that you are really upset…”

“It sounds like this is pretty difficult…”

“It can see that you are getting angry…”

“I know”

“I understand”

Strategy - Avoiding Content

Avoiding content is essential to de-escalating situations more efficiently & effectively

• When we are dealing with crisis situations, our focus is on de-escalating our client
• Often, the client’s goal is to draw their worker into content
• Engaging a worker in content results in power and control

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We can avoid content by saying things like:

• “If you are able to talk calmly we can discuss your concerns.”
• “If you are able to have a seat, we can talk about what is bothering you.”

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Strategy - Reality Statements

Reality statements should be used to explain the reality of a situation, not as a threat

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Effective Reality Statements:

• “It is going to take longer to discuss your concerns if you continue to raise your voice”
• “Making threatening statements can lead to further consequences.”

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Ineffective Reality Statements:

• “If you don’t stop yelling, I am going to report your behavior to the judge.”
• “If you keep doing this, you will never get anything you want”

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Strategy - Offering Options

It is important that we offer our clients options during difficult situations. Sometimes it is difficult to make healthy choices when emotions are elevated. �Offering alternative options can relieve stress.

When offering alternative options, you might say:

“Why don’t you think about having a seat on the couch or in this chair?”

“You might feel less angry if you go take a drink of water or take some time to yourself.”

Strategy - Praising Compromise

Praising approximations focuses on positive behaviors. These positive behaviors are likely coupled with inappropriate or even destructive behaviors.

• “Thank you for sitting down.”
• “Thank you for unclenching your fists.”
• “You are doing a really good job of lowering your voice.”
• “You are doing a very good job of taking some deep breaths.”

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Final Tips for De-escalating Aggressive Behavior

• Communication must be: Specific, explicit, clear - Use the broken record technique
• Answer rational questions - Do NOT try to answer irrational ones
• Allow healthy venting
• Try to understand the root cause of the behavior / the need not being met by the community member
• Be as hands off as possible
• Take threats seriously!
• Know your limits - tap out - utilize support - Emergency services as a last resort

Synopsis

De-escalation training provides practitioners and community members with time-tested communication skills, information and techniques proven to not only help de-escalate volatile situations, but develop trust and safety between staff and community members. It also fosters a mutually beneficial dynamic and safeguards the emotional and professional well-being of both staff and community members.

• Engaging and developing the attributes in the core competencies
• understanding and identifying the body’s alarm response
• utilizing effective communication tools and techniques to problem solve
• meeting community members needs
• and holding appropriate boundaries

are the heart of effective de-escalation and the root of establishing community trust in resolving conflict with mutual participation and integrity.