Biting 101

UNLOCKING THE MYSTERY

Laura Roberts

Infant Early Childhood Mental

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Health Consultant

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314-349-7770

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Laura.Roberts@centerstone.org

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Powerpoint created by Nicole Warren, I/ECMHC

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Introductions

Name

Position

age group

what do you hope to gain from this training?

Write your answers down

We will come back to them at the end of the training.

1. A young child might bite because he does not have the words to express how he feels. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�

2. Some children bite for attention�Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False��

3. Your response, as a caregiver, to a child biting has little or no impact on how the children will behave in the future. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False���

4. A toddler might bite because she is feeling over stimulated by the sound of another child crying in the classroom. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False����

5. Biting is always an anger response, where the child is intentionally trying to hurt a peer or adult.�Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�����

Short video

• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58zhtVKiywU

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Lets learn the facts:

Biting is:

• Common
• Especially in ages of 12-24 month
• Tends to be most common in boys
• As the child’s language develops the biting will minimize.
• They will be able to communicate what they need and what they want effectively.

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Toddlers bite because…

• Developmental: Sensory exploration, lack of communication, imitation, teething, cause and effect, develop autonomy
• Expression: Excited, angry, tired, frustrated, hungry, anxious
• Environment: too much/too little stimulation, overcrowding, not enough toys, attention, or supervision, a schedule that does not meet the child’s needs for eating/sleeping/routine

What not to do…

• Harsh discipline
• Bite child back
• Hitting a child
• Over the top reactions

(64) Charlie bite me... - YouTube

What to do…

• Stay calm and be firm
• Help the biter identify emotions
• Comfort the victim

• Offer alternatives
• Redirect
• Look for patterns

Why biting is a big deal

How does it impact…

• Children
• Teachers, Administrators
• Parents
• The Biter

Eyes of the teacher:

• You don’t know how lousy it feels when biting gets out of control. Four bites today, three bites yesterday, six bites last Friday. And we stopped countless more. I went through periods of feeling like a terrible teacher and wondered if we'd ever get through this. 
• I didn’t want to face the other parents because I didn’t want the kids or myself getting blamed. I’d get angry at the kids who were biting because I couldn't fix it and they just wouldn't stop biting. I wanted help and everyone had ideas but I'm the one who had to figure out how to actually make them work while keeping my classroom going. And I found myself questioning if the parents were doing enough. I wanted them to do more, take more responsibility, be more structured, more loving, more something. 
• All of these feelings swirled around, although only my husband had to hear the wails and moans. I knew the feelings weren’t fair and it took all of my professionalism to stuff them down.

Parent of the victim

If I can’t keep my baby safe, keep him from being some other kids snack substitute, what kind of mother am I? One day there is a bite on his cheek, then on his arm, two days later another one, and then even a bite on his bottom. The teachers would empathize with me and say, biting is normal at this age. Yeah, I know that toddler’s bite, but mothers protect and I couldn’t protect my kid. It may be normal to bite, but it’s not normal to be gnawed on every day.

“We’re doing all we can”, they said. So? Was I supposed to live with that? I wanted those biters out. How long was I supposed to let my child suffer, at 14 months old? I was told, “Stevie is so curious and friendly that he is the most common victim”, I blew up. So it’s his fault?

I left the center with hard feelings. Not because it was the center's fault, or even that they wouldn’t throw out the biters. They were trying so hard to solve the problem, they didn’t seem to understand what it was like to be in my shoes. We had to leave.

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Parent of the biter

I still have vivid memories of that horrible period that began when she was 19 months old. It was so awful, every day walking into her room and waiting to find out who Jenny had bitten. Four bites in one day, 14 in a week, 25 for all of June. Life was hell. We slunk in and out like the parents of a criminal. Was it us - some flaw in our home or some mutant gene?

Jenny was such fun as a toddler - this tiny red haired mop top, with a great smile and bouncy enthusiasm. Even at her biting worst, she was happy. We never saw the biting at home, there weren’t any young kids around.

We’d have these meetings with her teachers and the Director. We were all desperate, and even though we were all doing everything we could, we became defensive, sometimes disbelieving each other. Maybe she was bored (their fault), troubled (our fault), or immature (her fault).

I knew other parents were upset. After all, their children were coming home with Jenny’s imprint. I saw them look at Jenny, at us. Finally one mother began yelling at me, shoving her son's arm in my face with the incriminating two red half circles.

And then at about 22 months, Jenny stopped. Part of it was all the stuff the staff was doing and we were doing at home. But probably she just outgrew it. Now I look at Jenny and see this high school kid: good student, lots of friends, never in trouble - and I can laugh about what Sheila and I went through. But I remember wondering how she would ever have a normal life.

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The biter

I am so angry. I never get what I want. I know what I want to say but the words don’t come out. When my friends try to play with me, I don’t want them to play with me. I don’t like to share, all of the toys are mine.

The teachers talk loudly, sometimes, telling me what to do. It makes me so angry. Especially when I have to clean up. When we clean up, I try to bite the teacher when she helps me. She just does not listen.

Sometimes at circle time, I really get angry. The loud noises hurt my ears. I enjoy dancing, but the music and screaming make me upset. When other friends try to dance with me, I don’t like it. I bite them, because I don’t know what words to say.

Prevention Strategies

• Environment
• Schedule/Routines
• Interactions
• Activities
• Accommodations

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7 Questions to Ask

1. How much of the child’s behavior is related to typical development?
2. What past experiences or recent changes may be creating stress?
3. Is the lack of verbal skills causing frustration?
4. Is the child’s physical condition a contributing factor?
5. What role does the child’s temperament play in the behavior?
6. What effect does the physical environment of the home or program have on the child?
7. What kind of limit setting is the child experiencing at home and with other caregivers or teachers?

Questions from the beginning. �1. A young child might bite because he does not have the words to express how he feels.�Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�2. Some children bite for attention. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�3. Your response, as a caregiver, to a child biting has little or no impact on how the children will behave in the future. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�4. A toddler might bite because she is feeling over stimulated by the sound of another child crying in the classroom. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False�5. Biting is always an anger response, where the child is intentionally trying to hurt a peer or adult. �Answer 1: True�Answer 2: False���

Recap Responses

• Less helpful: excessive reactions, reasoning with the child, time out, isolation,
• More helpful: Immediately intervene, console the victim, help identify emotions, offer replacement behaviors, help the children redirect
• What you need to convey: Biting is not okay
• Be briefy, calm, and clear about what happened
• “You are angry that Sarah took your toy. You can be angry, but you cannot bite.”

Survey Link

• https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FY24LauraRobertsEval

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Closing

Questions?