1 of 57

(Introduce yourself.)

------------

Slide:

Internet Safety: Parents, Guardians, and Communities

Created by NetSmartz, a program of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

------------

Facilitator Notes:

Note: this presentation hopes to provide participants with helpful information, prevention tools to protect their children and share best practices to respond to their child if something happens. We are humans, and we are all doing our best, so do not feel bad if you do not react the way you want. The most important thing is that we support and protect our children.

This presentation is flexible to accommodate different barriers faced by participants, such as time constraints and learning retention. You can present on one topic or two at a time or facilitate the entire presentation in one session. Because of that, some language used throughout the presentation will sound repetitive; this is intentional so that participants walk away with the learning objectives. You can cut some of that repetitive language if you facilitate the entire presentation in one session.

Goals and Topics for the presentation:

Open and support continuing conversations about healthy relationships, accurate information and red flags
Helping adults to aid children in developing critical skills such as empathy, critical thinking, problem-solving, rejection skills, reaching out for help
How to report
Being a trusted adult
Being an upstander

2 of 57

Slide:

NetSmartz: Online safety program for children and families in grades K-12.

Empower children to report unsafe behaviors or victimization
Engage children to take an active role in solving problems safely
Encourage children and adults in two-way conversations about safety and risky behaviors

------------

Facilitator Notes:

This presentation was created by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. The National Center's mission is to:

Find missing children
Reduce child sexual exploitation
Prevent future victimization

NetSmartz is a safety program that:

Teaches children ages 5 to 17 about how to make better choices online and become responsible digital citizens.
Guides parents in protecting their children online.
Offers a variety of free resources, including games, videos, classroom lessons and presentations like this one.

You can find these resources at MissingKids.org/NetSmartz and more about all of the National Center's prevention programs at MissingKids.org/Education

NetSmartz is here to help you as you establish this open relationship with your child. On MissingKids.org/NetSmartz you’ll find resources including:

Discussion starters
Information about the issues
Tip sheets
Videos

I encourage you to visit the site often as your child grows and as new materials become available.

3 of 57

Slide:

What do your children do online?

------------

Key Points:

So what are your kids currently interested in online?

What do your children do online? (activity)

It is important to get familiar and learn about apps, games, websites, and their privacy settings but
The best way to protect your child is to

have meaningful, open, and continuous conversations that teach them and help them develop:

critical thinking
rejection (how to be comfortable saying and hearing ‘no’),
social, emotional, and behavioral skills
these skills will help them make

good choices,
build problem-solving abilities, and
develop healthy relationships

------------

Facilitator Notes:

(What do your children do online? - Pause for audience response. If you need to prompt the audience, use the questions below. Take note of their answers and tailor your presentation to their children’s current interests.)

Additional Activity Depending on Time:

How many of your children like to: (pick one or two options)

Use social media sites and apps like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Kik or Yik Yak?
Text or play games on your cell phone or their own phones?
Use Google to help with their homework?
Play computer games or games on a PlayStation or Nintendo 3DS?
Play in a virtual world like Minecraft or Roblox?
Download music?
Watch videos on YouTube?
Download apps from the App Store or Google Play?

Today we are not going to go through every website and app your child might be using. Although it is important to get familiar with and learn about those apps, that alone will not keep your child safe from every risk because they can still get exposed to those risks through other ways, like using a friend's phone. The reality is that the internet is part of our lives, and we can't keep our children isolated from it. Children are developing social skills and meaningful relationships online and offline, and it is our job to help them navigate the online world as we do offline. Thorn's data shows that 1 in 3 youth people, their closest friendships formed online. The best way to protect your child is to have meaningful, open and continuous conversations that teach them and help them develop critical thinking as well as rejection (how to say no to unwanted solicitations), social, and behavioral skills. These skills will help them make good choices, build problem-solving abilities, and develop healthy relationships.

4 of 57

Slide:

ONLINE

------------

Facilitator Notes:

Throughout this presentation, we’re going to talk about ways you can protect your children online no matter how they access the Internet.

Kids go online from:

School computers.
Friends’ computers.
Laptops and tablets.
Cell phones.
MP3 players like the iPod Touch.
E-readers like the Nook and Kindle.
Game consoles and handheld gaming devices from Nintendo, PlayStation and Xbox to name a few.

Technology changes all the time, and kids are constantly finding the newest websites, apps and gadgets. It’s up to you to teach them the basic rules of Internet safety so they can use all of these responsibly.

Help participants make the connection that social media, online games, computers, cell phones, and the offline word are all interconnected, and we should not think of them as separate issues.

5 of 57

Slide:

Technology can’t catch everything, so communicate

------------

Key Points:

Start conversations about safety as early as possible, even before children go online, about:

boundaries,
healthy relationships,
empathy,
consent,
rejection, and
healthy development

Ask questions: (see Facilitator Notes for more questions)

What’s your favorite app? And why?
Who do you talk to when you play games? How do you know them?
What are the games about? ask them to teach you how to play

Kids need to know that they can trust you, that you are a source of information for them
We must understand that for kids, the online and offline world are interconnected and equally important for their social and emotional development
Be honest and tell them that even though you might get upset, your main goal is to protect them and help them

Next, I am going to play a TikTok from the NoFiltr campaign

------------------------

Facilitator Notes

Throughout this presentation, you will hear that the most important prevention tool is to have open and continuous communication with your children, and we are going to learn ways to have productive conversations. Start conversations about safety as early as possible, even before children go online. Having open and ongoing discussions about boundaries, healthy relationships, empathy, consent, rejection, and healthy development will create a solid foundation between you and your child so that when you have to have more difficult conversations, you and your child will be able to have meaningful discussions because you both have been practicing these skills throughout the years and by asking about their interests.

Ask them questions like:

What’s your favorite app? And why?
Who do you talk to when you play games? How do you know them?
What kinds of pictures do you like to post?
What are the games about? ask them to teach you how to play
What things do they like and do not like about the games?
How do they feel after playing/ being on social media? Do they feel happy after?
How do they know their friends on the game/social media?
What do they talk about?

Conversations must be continuous with genuine curiosity to strengthen your relationship with your child. You will ask those questions about their offline activities and friends, so let's do the same thing about their online interactions. We must understand that for kids, the online and offline word are interconnected and equally important for their social and emotional development.

Have these conversations with them regularly, so they know you're available and have an open mind. Kids need to know that they can trust you, that you are a source of information for them, and that you won't stop them from going online if something happens. You may not be able to protect them from everything, but you can teach them how to make responsible choices when they encounter a problem.

Most importantly, let them know you are here to help no matter what. Be honest and tell them that even though you might get upset, your main priority is to protect them and help them. Emphasize that it is the adult's responsibility to protect, teach, and empower children, not the child's responsibility.

Next, I am going to play a TikTok from the NoFiltr campaign. They are a nonprofit that their work is to empower young people with resources to safely navigate sexual exploration and risky encounters in their connected world. They have done a fantastic job talking to children and parents about online issues.

6 of 57

Slide:

Kids want to hear about these topics from parents and caregivers.

------------

Key Points:

Children want to hear about these issues from parents, caregivers, educators
We are the ones shying away from these conversations
Leaving them to figure out on their own
By talking to them, we can provide accurate information and share our values and beliefs and learn about theirs
Acknowledge how hard it is to have these conversations

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

In this TikTok conversation between a mom and her son, we can see that the teen expressed that children want caregivers to talk to them about safety and risk.

Children want to hear about these issues from you, (parents and educators). We, adults, are the ones that shy away from these conversations, leaving them to figure out these complex issues on their own and guess what? As the teen in this video says, “If you are not providing that information, they are going to have some problems online.” they are going to look for the information someplace else. If you do not talk to them, they will look for the answers somewhere else, and we miss an important opportunity to provide accurate information and share our beliefs.

Many of us struggle to have these conversations with our children. I know it is not easy, sometimes we do not know what to say or how to start these conversations.

I hope that throughout this presentation, you can find ways that work for your family.

The good news is that the skills you learn here will apply to online and offline safety.

(Click next to play video)

8 of 57

Slide:

Online Risk

Inappropriate Content
Online Privacy
Online Enticement
Sexting
Sextortion
Cyberbullying

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

The good news is that most children are not getting into trouble online, but there are still risks to consider. The issues we’re going to discuss today are not specific to just one device or website. No matter what your children like to do online, they face the following issues:

Inappropriate content
Online privacy
Online Enticement
Sexting
Sextortion
Cyberbullying

You may think you don’t have to worry about cyberbullying because you have a younger child, or that your teenager already knows not to respond to inappropriate messages. But these topics are relevant to every child at some point. Today’s presentation will help you talk about them in a way that’s appropriate for your child’s age.

9 of 57

Slide:

Talk about the risks at every age

Younger Children

Netiquette
Looking at inappropriate content
Pop-ups/passwords
Not trusting everyone you meet online

Tweens & Teens

Cyberbullying
Sexting
Posting personal/inappropriate information
Meeting offline

------------

Key Points:

Start conversations when they are young about netiquette
When tweens talk about not posting reveling pictures. This will help you set a foundation for when you have to talk about sexting when they become teenagers
Talk about not trusting everyone they meet
Use example of car safety > car seat > car seat belt> driving

---------------

Facilitator Notes

This chart shows how you can talk to your children about the online risks in an age-appropriate way.

For example:

You should start talking about online manners, or “netiquette,” with your youngest children so they have a good foundation for later lessons about issues like cyberbullying.
You can start talking to your tweens about not posting revealing pictures and evolve into frank discussions about sexting when they become teenagers.
You can talk to young children about not trusting everyone they meet online. By the time they’re teens, they’ll be ready to discuss the risks of meeting offline.

Remember that the skills your child needs to practice safe behaviors online are skills built over time. Think about how we prepare children to ride in cars safely. We start by using car seats and then buckling them into car seats. As they grow into toddlers and preschoolers, we still buckle them in, but we begin to talk about WHY they need to be buckled in, and we allow them to help us keep them safe by climbing into their own seats, helping with the buckles when they are able to do so themselves. We require compliance - we don't drive unless they are buckled, and we stop the car if they unbuckle themselves. We have these conversations many times over the years. We work with other adults to make sure they also require compliance. Eventually, when our children are in cars without us, they have learned to wear their seatbelts through years of practice and having that expectation set and enforced. When they start driving on their own, we also talk about requiring passengers to wear seatbelts. We don't start talking to them about wearing a seatbelt at 16. The same is true online - from the very beginning of a child's access to anything online, parents need to talk to children in an age-appropriate way about safe behavior online. These conversations must be regular and active at all ages.

The information you learn in this presentation will help prepare you for these discussions.

10 of 57

11 of 57

12 of 57

Slide:

Why start conversations when they are young

Build a strong relationship foundation
Develop trust between you and your child
Be more comfortable talking about uncomfortable topics
Help develop your child's critical thinking and problem-solving skills
Support your child's development of resiliency

These conversations will help your child stay safe online and offline.

------------

Key Points:

Using specific examples
Teachable moments (these can be about online or offline)

Start with minor risk examples and develop conversations into more complex
Have these conversations when doing daily activities
Allow your children to come up with their solutions. Share your opinions and values and, most importantly, compromise.

Note: these conversations are interconnected and will help you address issues of online safety, abuse, bullying as well as offline

--------------

Facilitator Notes:

As we mentioned in the previous slides, we need to have continuous open conversations with our children and start these conversations when they are young. Using specific examples and daily life teachable moments that start with minor risks/incidents in these discussions will help you develop important skills that will make it easier for you and your child to discuss more complex issues.

So, let's start talking to our children about uncomfortable interactions online with specific examples and questions.

Specific Example:

Have you received a comment, post, picture, video, or chat from someone that made you feel unconformable?
Have any of your friends behavior online or offline has make you or others feel uncomfortable?

If so. (Pick two questions to share with the participants)

What did you do?
Do you still talk to that friend that...?
Did you comment on that post?
Why do you think that made you feel uncomfortable?
What about it made you feel uncomfortable?
What are some ways you could help solve this?
What are some things you could do to avoid, help, or solve this situation if it happens again?

Allow your children to come up with their own solutions and ask why and how. Share your opinions and values and, most importantly, look for a compromised solution. When children propose and think of solutions on their own it is easier for them to remember and practice them.

Other examples: (pick the first two and if time allows you can do the other ones)

Teachable moments:

What would you do if you received a new friend request from someone "your age"?
What makes you think that this friend is actually your age? What are some ways to verify that the person in the profile is actually who they say they are?
What would you do if this friend online, that you do not know in person, asked you for a private pic of the outfit you were wearing this weekend?
What if your friend ask/send you for a picture of your private parts? What would you do?

13 of 57

14 of 57

Slide:

Be a trusted adult

Listen without judgment or shame
Help and take action
Remain calm when a child reaches out
Respect their boundaries
Help them identify other trusted adults they can reach out to
Be kind to yourself; it is ok to have strong emotions, but try to remain calm

------------

Key Points:

A trusted/safe adult is:

Someone who listens without judgment or shame,
Someone who will help and takes action (such as making a report, blocking content, or simply listening),
Someone who will remain calm when a child reaches out for help with a problem (online and offline).

Sometimes, kids want to talk to about their problems even if they think they are going to get in trouble; therefore, it is important to be calm

Help them identify another trusted adults that they can talk to if they do not feel comfortable talking to the other trusted adults (and because some kids do not have trusted adults at home)
Being a trusted adult requires practice and effort. It is important to learn these qualities and to always exercise them so that children know that if something happens, they can come to you.

Having strong emotions is a normal reaction:

However, if something happens and our child discloses to us that something happened online, feeling angry, confused, fearful, or even mad at your child are normal emotions, and you should not feel bad about those feelings. BUT the most important thing is to try to remain calm.

------------

Facilitator Notes:

Before we go into the next slide and talk about what we can do to help our children let’s talk about what it is to be a trusted adult.

A trusted adult is:

Someone who listens without judgment or shame,
Someone who will help and take action (such as making a report, blocking content, or simply listening),
Someone who will remain calm when a child reaches out for help with a problem (online and offline).

A trusted adult helps children to identify other adults in their life that fit these characteristics. This will look different for each child based on who they are comfortable/ safe reaching out to.

Sometimes children may not feel comfortable talking to their parents even though they trust them. In this case, Let your kids know they can always talk to you but help them identify two other trusted adults they can talk to if they feel embarrassed, scared, or guilty talking to you. Sometimes children do not have safe and trusted adults in their lives. In this case, we should research and figure out if a teacher, counselor, principal, or nurse can be that adult.

Remind children that:

Even when they may get in some trouble with you about something, your priority number one is to help them
That you are always here to help them and that they should not go through issues or problems on their own

It is important to be kind to ourselves. If your child discloses that something happened, feeling angry, confused, fearful, and even mad at your child are normal emotions, you should not feel bad or guilty for having those feelings. However, try to stay calm; otherwise, your child may feel shot down and may not confide in you anymore.

Being a trusted adult requires practice and effort. it is important to learn these qualities and to always exercise them so that children know that if something happens, they can come to you.

15 of 57

Slide:

What you can do

Don’t frighten them
Listen attentively and stay calm
Tell them it’s not their fault
Answer questions
Help them report it

------------

Key Point:

Seeing inappropriate content online may have negative effects on children.
If your child does open up to you about inappropriate content they’ve seen, listen attentively and stay calm.
Ask open-ended questions and help the child identify their feelings
Help them report
Create a safety plan

--------------

Facilitator Notes:

Seeing inappropriate content online may have negative effects on children. Some kids, especially younger children, may feel guilty or ashamed. Sometimes children exposed to violent or sexual content may become desensitized to it and this can affect their self-image and overall development.

The Internet is a great tool for them, so don’t make it scary. If your child does open up to you about inappropriate content they’ve seen, listen attentively and stay calm. Thank them for trusting in you, and tell them that you are proud of them for telling you.

Ask open-ended questions and help the child identify their feelings (the trusted adult must correct any guilt the child may feel by reaffirming that it is not their fault). Together come up with solutions and create a safety plan to address future situations to prevent this from happening again

Help them report anything that made them feel uncomfortable. If you believe they received the inappropriate content from a friend or shared it with someone else, you may want to talk to a teacher or school counselor.

Again, the goal is to have regular and active conversations to be proactive, and not reactive.

NOTE: As we mentioned in the last slide it is normal to feel mad, worried, not want to hear about it because it is difficult to process even feeling upset at your child. We are humans, and it is ok. However, let’s try to stay focused on the problem, listen to our child, and answer honestly even when you do not know the answer. It is ok to say, “I do not know, but I’ll get back to you”

16 of 57

Slide:

What they should do

Turn off the screen
Use the back button
Tell a trusted adult
Report it to the website or app
Report to CyberTipline.org

------------

Facilitator Notes:

Next, talk to your child about what they can do when they find inappropriate content. They can:

Turn off the screen.
Go back to previous page or close the app
Remind them that even if they feel scared or feel like they are going to get in trouble they need to tell a trusted
Report the content to the website or the app where they found it and to the CyberTipline
Tell them that you are always here to help them and that they should not go through this on their own

NCMEC’s CyberTipline is the nation’s centralized reporting system for the online exploitation of children. The public and electronic service providers can make reports of suspected online enticement of children for sexual acts, child sexual molestation, child sexual abuse material, child sex tourism, child sex trafficking, unsolicited obscene materials sent to a child, misleading domain names, and misleading words or digital images on the internet. Children, family members, friends, professionals, can report to our CyberTipline at www.CyberTipline.org.

NOTE: Please emphasize the CyberTipline

17 of 57

Slide:

Together

Privacy Settings
Blocking
Reporting

------------

Facilitator Notes:

All social media sites and apps are a little different when it comes to privacy settings, reporting, and blocking, but they follow pretty similar steps.

Privacy settings:

Learn how to set up privacy settings. Go through the different options and make sure that you're only sharing with friends, not the public, only friends can comment on your posts, location services are turned off, and anything like "personalized ads" or "marketing" is turned off. Make sure to review the settings regularly, especially when installing software updates, as privacy setting may change on your phone.

Reporting content:

If you see something that is upsetting or seems dangerous or illegal, you can report it. In photo apps there are usually three dots that open a menu next to the photo: report is an option there. You will be asked to answer a couple questions about why you're reporting it, but it's quick and easy. Also, if someone ever asks for or sends you sexual messages or pictures, you can report them directly to CyberTipline.org. The CyberTipline workers can quickly get in touch with the platforms and flag the user to help prevent them from doing the same thing to anyone else!

Blocking users:

Just like reporting inappropriate content, blocking users is pretty simple on most apps. Once you've clicked the user's profile, check the "follow" area for a drop down which may let you "Follow", "Unfollow", "Mute", "Block" or even some other options. If there's no drop down, check the three dots/lines menu, often in the top corner, for the "Block" feature.

18 of 57

Slide:

Inappropriate Content

Inappropriate or illegal behavior
Offensive language
Threats of violence
Underage drinking or drug use
Hate speech

----------------

Key Points:

Help children engage in safer online behaviors by

Giving them accurate information,
Agreeing on what to post and repost
Explain the risk
Talk to them about using kind and respectful language,
Posing pictures or videos that lift themselves and other up,
To follow rules and codes of conduct just as one would offline.
Be honest and respectful
Lead by example
NEVER resharing inappropriate content of a person to others

The most important prevention tool you have as a caregiver is your relationship with your child

----------------

Facilitator Notes:

To summarize the most important prevention tool you have as a caregiver is your relationship with your child. One way to develop that strong bond with your child is to have honest, open, and respectful conversations with your children/teens.

Listen and learn from them. Respect their opinions, values, and ideas even if you disagree. Share yours without imposing them on your child and reach an agreement that works for you both.

Yes, you should tell your children what they shouldn't post; however, we need to go beyond that. Telling them only that they should not post won't stop them from doing so, but giving them accurate information, agreeing on what to post and repost, and explaining the risk will help them engage in safer online behaviors. Talk to them about using kind and respectful language, posing pictures or videos that lift themselves and others up, and to follow rules and codes of conduct just as one would offline.

Inappropriate content:

Illegal or inappropriate behavior. (An example of Inappropriate behavior can be form liking a mean comment to bullying someone.)
Offensive language.
Threats of violence.
Underage drinking or drug use.
Hate speech.

Posting these things online means your child may:

Damage their reputation at school and/or with their friends.
Be suspended at school, sports, or extracurricular activities if the post breaks school rules.•
Be charged with a crime if they break the law.
Hurt their chances of getting into college, a scholarship, or a job in the future.

EXAMPLE:

Using specific real situations, ask them “How will they handle the situation" or "what do they think about...". Help them think about possible consequences and how they can affect others. For example: if your friend Jennifer sent you an inappropriate pic of your classmate Nancy because they are fighting. You resend the picture, and it gets distributed at school. How will Nancy feel when she finds out other people sent her image around? What do you think will happen if you ever have a post or a picture online you don't want other people to see? How will you affect Nancy?

19 of 57

Slide:

Online Privacy

What’s OK? What’s not OK?

Pictures of family and friends
Personal information
Conversations with unknown people in an online game
Creating videos on streaming services
‘Checking in’ or sharing current location online
Sending/viewing/sharing explicit or�provocative pictures

----------------

Facilitator Notes:

Activity: Ask participants these questions and ask them if it is ok or not ok. This exercise can help participants understand the difficulties their children have to navigate online.

You may also be concerned about how much information your children are sharing online. Some things that are probably ok for them to share:

OK to Share:

Pictures of family and friends: As long as they post with permission from the caregivers and the people in the picture.
Casual conversation in a game: Many kids play computer games or games on a console like Xbox that allows them to talk to other players. This kind of casual conversation is usually fine when kids stick to talking about the game but teach your children how to report and remind them to ask for help if someone makes them feel uncomfortable.
Geolocation: Sharing with family and close friends for safety reasons is okay
Family Information: It is ok to share general info about your family ex. How many siblings do you have? Are you the oldest or the youngest? (but it should be a red flag if the person ask specific or many questions) Such as where does your mom work? What soccer practices do you and your siblings go to? What school does your brother go to?

However, there are certain kinds of personal information that you definitely don't want your kids to reveal.

Not to Share:

Geolocation: Posting pictures, videos, or live streaming should not include geolocation, especially if it shows the child's school, home address, or other places that the child visits frequently. Specify when it is ok to share geolocation. (See ok to share)
Family Information: Children should not share detailed information about their family like their parents' work, siblings' schools or details about extra curricular activities with people they talk online
Passwords: Children should not share their passwords with friends
Videos/Photos/ Livestreaming in secluded places: Children should not share pictures, videos or live streaming in secluded places like their bedroom with people they talk to online, and it should be a red flag if they get this request.
Detail/private information about their lives: Even though one of the tactics of grooming is to relate with the child by sharing common interests, children will still share about their lives with people online; some things, like the sports they like to play, may be okay. However, very specific, many details, or specifics about family dynamics may not be appropriate to share with their friends online.
Sharing explicit content: Talk to your child about sharing explicit content with people online and develop safe rules that work for both of you
Moving conversations to private platform: Even though kids might feel more comfortable talking to their friends in a private chat app like Snapchat, WhatsApp or Instagram it is important to tell your child that it is not a good idea to move conversations from public to private forums. Moving from the game chat platform to a private chat can be a risk because some people might not have the best intentions, and it is safer to keep the conversation more general and public if possible

20 of 57

21 of 57

Slide:

Risks of Sharing Personal Information

Identity Theft
Online Scams
Hacking
Online Enticement
Sextortion
Stalking
Cyberbullying

----------------

Facilitator Notes:

Sharing personal information online is a security risk because it leaves your children open to:

Identity theft - Many identity thieves target children because you’re less likely to notice until your child is older, like when they apply for their first credit card. For example, they may steal children’s social security numbers, names and birthdates.
Online scams - Many children, especially young children, may be tricked into sharing passwords or visiting inappropriate websites by online scams promising prizes or money.
Hacking - Sharing passwords and other account details can result in someone hacking into children’s accounts and pretending to be them, or stealing files and other information you store on your computer.
Online Enticement - Online enticement involves an individual communicating with a child via the internet with the intent to commit a sexual offense or abduction. This is a broad category of online exploitation, that includes sextortion. where a child is being groomed to take sexually explicit images, meet face-to-face with someone for sexual purpose, or in some instances, to sell/trade the child’s sexual images.
Sextortion - A new online exploitation crime directed towards children in which non-physical forms of coercion are used, such as blackmail, to acquire sexual content from the child, engage in sex with the child, or obtain money from the child.
Stalking - Engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to fear for his or her safety or the safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress. (https://www.justice.gov/ovw/stalking)
Cyberbullying - Sharing personal information online can lead to severe bullying
Abduction - A Family Abduction occurs when a child is taken, wrongfully retained, or concealed by a parent or other family member depriving another individual of their custody or visitation rights. A nonfamily abduction occurs when a child is taken by someone known, but not related, to the child, such as a neighbor or an online acquaintance, or by someone unknown to the child. Nonfamily abductions are the rarest type of case and make up only 1% of the missing children cases reported to NCMEC.

Remember not to give your child your phone or allow them to interact online using an adult account because the safeguards meant for children won’t be present.

22 of 57

Slide:

What you can do

Establish rules about what they can share
Learn about reporting options
Help them set privacy settings
Help them create strong passwords
Talk about friends lists
Create a safety plan

----------------

Facilitator Notes:

Here’s what you can do to help your kids from revealing too much personal information online:

(If time is limited just go over the bullet points on the slide without going into details)

Establish rules about what they can share and under what circumstances - For example, it’s OK for them to enter their address online if they’re ordering something from Amazon with your permission, but it’s not OK to enter their address in a pop-up that promises to send them a prize.
Learn about the reporting options of any websites and games they’re using - Each website and game will have its own tools to report issues such as stolen passwords or hacked accounts. Get to know them so you know what to do if there is a problem.
Check privacy settings - You should help kids set up their accounts and check their privacy settings often to make sure they’re using the settings that offer the most protection. Make sure that they are not sharing private information like geolocation or personal info such as school, home address, etc.
Help them create strong passwords and tell them not to share them with anyone but you - Passwords should be at least 8 characters long. Try using silly words or phrases that are easy to remember. Never use personal information in a password and change them often.
Talk about friends lists - NetSmartz recommends that children only add friends they know offline, but this may change as they get older. Talk to them about the types of friends you’re OK with them adding. This point is hard for us adults to understand and navigate because children are making meaningful friendships worldwide through social media and online gaming. Even though we want to tell our children that they should only have friends online that they know in person, we know in reality they will have friends online that they do not know in person. We need to have conversations about healthy relationships, we need to monitoring children's activities online, and need to provided them examples specific, real situations that children may encounter online. You can also look at their online friends. Get to know who is on the other side of the headset when children are gaming – make your presence known. Talk about potential red flags. If an online "friend" is asking personal questions instead of focusing on conversations about the game or if they request to chat privately on another platform, these are red flags. An online "friend" does not mean that person has bad intentions, but we should be cautious about it, and these kinds of requests should monitor by a trusted adult so they can help access these situations. Just as parents get to know who their kids hang out with at school, in the neighborhood and in sports and clubs, you need to get to know your children’s online friends.
Create a safety plan - Create a safety plan: as a family, create a safety plan about online and offline activities, for example,

expectations of how to behave,
what and when children need to ask for permission,
online free times and zones (no phones during dinner or in bedrooms),
safe words for your child to communicate they need your help when in public,
ways you can monitor your child activities without making them feel that you are violating their privacy

Suggested Resources:

www.NetSmartzKids.org.

You can browse by topic, by age, resource type and we have conversation starters available.

23 of 57

Slide:

Online Enticement

Online enticement involves an individual communicating with someone believed to be a child via the internet with the intent to commit a sexual offense or abduction and includes sextortion.

---------------

Facilitator Notes:

Online Enticement involves an individual communicating with someone believed to be a child via the internet with the intent to commit a sexual offense or abduction. This is a broad category of online exploitation and includes sextortion, in which a child is being groomed to take sexually explicit images and/or ultimately meet face-to-face with someone for sexual purposes, or to engage in a sexual conversation online or, in some instances, to sell/trade the child’s sexual images. This type of victimization takes place across every platform; social media, messaging apps, gaming platforms, etc. Since 2022, NCMEC has seen a rise in cases of sextortion targeting male kids to obtain money from the child. In some cases, the offenders deep fake content and treat the child to share the images/videos with friends and family.

24 of 57

Slide:

How do solicitations occur?

Most occur on social networking sites
Most occur among older teens
Most teens are solicited by peers
Most are not bothered by it

---------------

Key Points:

The majority of sexual solicitations occur among older teens
Kids as young as 9 years old are getting inappropriate solicitations
Stay away from “strangers online” language
Teach healthy relationships and red flags

Use specific examples
Real situations

Develop rejection skills
Help them identify two or three safe/trusted adults

--------------

Facilitator Notes:

The majority of sexual solicitations and aggressive solicitations occur among older teens. However, new data shows that kids as young as 9 years old are getting inappropriate solicitations. Most tweens and teens are solicited by their peers or young adults in a very casual way and report not being very bothered by it. Many of them simply remove themselves from the situation by blocking the person who sent the inappropriate request, asking them to stop, or leaving the site.

We need to have these conversations with them. When we do, let's remember that children are creating meaningful relationships online and offline, and we should be careful when using language like "strangers online" because children might not consider their friends online as strangers and even if they consider someone a stranger they might feel more comfortable talking to them because they are online. Instead, talk about healthy relationships and give specific examples of the characteristics of a healthy relationship and the red flags. When talking about strangers online, give specific examples, e.g. someone who just requested you to be your friend online and quickly asked you to send a picture of you. �

In addition, teach and practice ways children can respond to these solicitations. This will help your children develop skills to reject and step away from these situations.

25 of 57

Slide:

Offenders groom children by:

Exploiting their natural curiosity
Gradually introducing explicit images
Using adult status to control a child’s behavior
Offering gifts like cell phones and gift cards

--------------------

Key Points:

Grooming happens in different ways
Some take time and develop a relationship with the child
Some happen fast and grooming starts right after they meet online, and they can obtain explicit content from the child within minutes or hours
Sexual exploitation and abuse do not always involve grooming
Forms of grooming

--------------------

Facilitator Notes:

Most teens aren't bothered by sexual solicitations, but some interactions can lead to dangerous online relationships with predatory offenders.

In these cases, the offenders begin to prey on children's vulnerabilities by offering them affection and attention. This manipulative process is called grooming.

Grooming is a manipulative process that happens in a very similar way online and offline. The offender get access to the child by preying on children's vulnerabilities and developing trust with them by offering something of value. Grooming usually happens by someone the child knows and trust. However, grooming can happen fast and starts right after the child meet online.

Offenders entice children by:

Exploiting the child's unmet needs
Exploiting their natural curiosity about sex
Lowering the child's inhibitions by gradually introducing explicit images and child sex abuse images
Using their adult status to influence and control a child's behavior
Offering gifts like cell phones and gift cards, or something else of value like emotional support, self-esteem, love interests, and stability

It is important to note that sexual exploitation and abuse do not always involve grooming. ALL inappropriate or exploitative behavior needs to be addressed and reported.

26 of 57

Slide:

Grooming

Someone trying to groom children might:

Flatter them
Send them gifts
Discuss inappropriate adult subjects, such as dating or sex
Ask them to keep secrets
Turn them against their family and friends
Share or ask for revealing images
Blackmail them
Make them feel guilty or ashamed
Ask to meet face-to-face

--------------------

Facilitator Notes

(If time is limited mention two or three)

Someone trying to groom a child might:

Flatter them
Send them gifts, like cellphones or money
Discuss adult subjects, like sex
Ask them to keep secrets, such as not telling anyone about their relationship
Turn them against their family and friends - They want them to depend on them
Share or ask for revealing images
Making them feel guilty or ashamed
Talking about inappropriate subjects such as dating or sex
Asking to meet face-to-face
Blackmail them

If you've shared revealing images or secrets with someone, they may threaten to make them public unless you send more content or money. This type of blackmail is called sextortion, and it is a crime.

The grooming process varies; in some cases, the grooming process may take longer. In other cases, it may take hours or minutes; in other instances, grooming does not happen, and the offender's first contact with the child is to blackmail him/her. Tell your child that they should not give in if someone is threatening them. Instead, they should tell an adult they trust and report it to NCMEC immediately so they can help report it to law enforcement.

Remind them that sextortion is a crime and that they should not deal with it alone. We will talk more about sextortion later in the presentation.

27 of 57

Slide:

Signs of Grooming

Check if your child is…

Receiving gifts
Calling unknown numbers
Rejecting family and friends
Getting upset when not online
Minimizing the screen

--------------------

Facilitator Notes

Here are some signs of grooming you should look for. Check if your child is:

Receiving gifts through the mail, like bus tickets, cell phones and webcams.
Calling unknown numbers.
Rejecting family and friends in favor of spending time online.
Getting upset when he or she can’t get online.
Minimizing the screen or turning off the monitor when you come into the room.

If you see any of these signs, don’t ignore them. Talk to your children. Check out what they’re doing online and who they’re talking to. Get help immediately if you suspect something is wrong.

Again, all inappropriate, abusive, or exploitive behavior needs to be responded to and reported whether or not signs of grooming are present.

28 of 57

Slide:

What you can do

Talk to your child about relationships
Set a policy about meeting offline for older teens
Know your child’s online friends
Teach your child the warning signs
Call the police
Report to CyberTipline.org

-------------------

Facilitator Notes

There are several things you can do to keep your child safe from predatory offenders:

Talk to your child about healthy sexual behaviors and healthy relationships. Talk to them about what makes a healthy relationship. Have an open-door policy so they will not seek answers or inappropriate relationships online.
Keep in mind that many children are flattered by attention from older people. Make it clear that a 22-year-old flirting with them is not flattering; it’s inappropriate.
Set a code of conduct in your household and include rules about meeting offline for older teens – If you’re not comfortable with it, then tell them why they are not allowed to meet online friends in person and come to an agreement with your child about those interactions online. If you think it’s OK, then establish rules to make it safer. Suggest rules and ask your child to contribute to the safety plan:

Example:

Try to find out that the online friend is who they say they are
Get your permission before agreeing to meet
Go with you or another adult.
Meet in your house with your supervision or in a public pre-arranged place and do not go to other places.
Share details about the person they are meeting
Ask your child to send updates through out the meeting
Come out with a safe word/phrase in case your child needs you to come and pick them up
Share location
Call your child while meeting the person

Know your child’s online friends - Encourage them not to accept friend requests from anyone they don’t already know. Ask questions about the people on their friends list, such as “How did you meet?” and “What do you talk about?” Keep in mind that some offenders use the Internet to target minors they already know. If someone your child knows, contacts them online, they should check with you before responding.
Teach your child the warning signs - Talk to them about grooming and ways people may try to manipulate them.
Above all, call the police if you suspect your child is having inappropriate conversations or relationships online. You should also file a report with the website or app where they’ve had these conversations.

29 of 57

30 of 57

Slide:

Report to the CyberTipline

Anyone who sends your child photos or videos containing obscene content
Anyone who asks your child to send sexual images
Anyone speaking to your child in a sexual manner
Anyone who asks your child to meet in person

------------------

Facilitator Notes

You can also make a report to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children’s CyberTipline^®. All reports made to NCMEC's CyberTipline are made available to law enforcement.

Make a Report If:

Anyone sends your child photos or videos containing obscene content.
Anyone asks your child to send sexual images.
Anyone speaks to your child in a sexual manner.
Anyone asks your child to meet in person.

Make sure your children also know that they can make a report to the CyberTipline

You can contact them at www.CyberTipline.org or 1-800-THE-LOST^®.

31 of 57

Slide:

Sexting

Sending or posting nude or partially nude images.

Research suggests that:

19.3% of teens have sexted
34.8% of teens say they have received a sext

------------------

Facilitator Notes

In addition to being careful about the kind of information they post; you want to make sure your children are being careful about the images they share. Sexting is when minors send or post nude or partially nude images, usually via cell phone.

Recent studies suggest⁵

19.3% of teens have sexted
34.8% of teens say they have received a sext

Teach your children empathy, consent, problem-solving, and healthy relationship skills at a young age to help them make better choices, and to help them understand that re-sharing inappropriate content revictimizes the person. In addition, these skills will help create an environment of protection for the children who experience victimization instead of blaming them.

32 of 57

Slide:

Why are they sexting?

To be funny
To impress a crush
Peer pressure or threats
Experimenting with relationships, sexual behavior, and boundaries

-----------------

Facilitator Notes

Minors sext for a variety of reasons. They may be:

Trying to be funny and sharing it with friends.
Trying to impress a crush who may or may not have asked for the picture.
Peer pressure or threats
Experimenting with relationships, sexual behavior, and boundaries.
Interactions are happening really fast and may feel the pressure to make snap decisions or do not have time to think about it
They may perceive a positive benefit from sexting
Because the perception is that all teens engage in sexting, but remember 80% of teens are not

Sexting can be part of normal adolescent development that often includes risk-taking and boundary testing. However, one study found that teens who engage in sexting are more likely to be engaged in other risky sexual behaviors, including unprotected sex. This suggests that sexting is part of a pattern of risky behaviors for certain teens.

33 of 57

34 of 57

Key Points:

(If time is limited mentioned the that there is a discussion guide available that can be used to talk to tweens and teens choices, healthy relationships, consequences)

Choices: First choice was from the requester. Resharing is how the pic spreads and hurts the child. If the person receiving the picture deleted it, the circulation of the picture stops.
Healthy Relationships: Pressuring someone and putting that person risk is not part of a healthy relationship
Empathy: Resharing cause a lot of harm on a child. How would you feel if it was your picture or the picture of your sibling or friend ?
Rejection skills: Practice ways that they can reject inappropriate solicitations.

--------------

Facilitator Notes:

Facilitate a discussion about the video to model how parents would talk to their child about it. Possible discussion threads and ideas are below. �

(Focus on the bold/underlined sentence when time is limited)

Consequences:

What were some of the consequences of sharing the photo? (Can get lost or misplaced, shared without permission, become a source of embarrassment/shame/guilt, rumors/gossip/cyberbullying can result, legal consequences.)

Choices:

What was the very first choice made in the video? (Most students reply the girl’s decision to send or not send – answer: the boy’s decision to ask for the photo in the first place – was a conscious decision – may or may not realize the consequences of the ask.)

What were other decisions made in the video? (Others deciding to share the photo, maybe adding rumors and gossip, some students decided not to share)
Which is the better choice? (Not asking for the picture and/or not sharing it)
How can sharing the photo be damaging? (Contributes to an unwelcoming environment at school, contributes to rumors/gossip/embarrassment for the person in the photo)
How can this affect the person in the photo? Emphasize that this can happen to boys too. (May not feel comfortable going to school, lose concentration in class, grades slip, change in peer groups or social dynamics, contribute to low self-esteem/confidence, may develop feelings of depression/anxiety/revictimization

Healthy Relationships:

In a healthy relationship, is it ok for someone to make requests that put the other at risk? (no)

Why? Because someone that cares for you will not want to put you in a situation where you may get hurt

Did the girl have to comply? (No) Why may she? (trust, in love, for his eyes only)

Make the point that asking for the photo was asking the girl to put herself at risk. There is no such thing as “for your eyes only” when technology is involved, even with the best of intentions. If the person cares about you, they would not want to risk embarrassing you or hurting you.

Ask your child if they had or have been are asked or been pressured to send inappropriate content by anyone. Reaffirm that they can say no or even if they want to send it to take some time and talk to you other trusted adults, a close friend or just think about it for awhile. Let them know that you are there for them no matter what and that they can reach out to a trusted adult.

Feeling supported can help make tough decisions a little easier. If you trusted someone and already sent a picture – trusted/safe adults can also help with minimizing the spread of that image.

Empathy: It is important to address the other side of the sexting when the child is the one asking for or re-sharing the image.

If you care for someone, is it not ok for you to request something that would put them at risks
It not ok to pressure someone to send you explicit images
It is not ok to re-share the image of someone without their consent
How would you affect that person's life?

35 of 57

Slide:

Consequences of Sexting

Humiliation
Bullying
Blackmail
School discipline
Police involvement

-------------

Key Points:

Stay away form the worse case scenario
Provide accurate information
Help children develop decision making and critical thinking skills
Talk about the emotional, social, and personal harm that sexting can cause on a person if the content get share
Reaffirm to the child that if they get sextorted or their pictures are being share it is not the child’s fault even if they sent explicit images. There is help and steps you can take to deal with this horrible situation and that things can get better.

-------------

Facilitator Notes:

After mentioning the consequences of sexting go into explaining that…

Even though teens are aware of the consequences of their actions, that does not mean they will not engage in risky behaviors. The human brain is not fully developed and matures until the late 20s. The last region to develop is the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for skills like planning, prioritizing, and controlling impulses. (NIH).

Some studies suggest that teens use the amygdala, which is the part that processes emotions, to make decisions. Therefore, even though teens understand the consequences of their actions, they will likely still engage in risky behaviors. Because when making decisions their feelings and impulses win over rational thinking. When talking about the consequences of their actions, stay away from naming all the horrible things that can happen.

Instead, providing accurate information and helping children develop decision-making skills are more likely to decrease risky behaviors (Still, it is important to tell them not to do it and warn them about the risk, but we also have to talk honestly about the perceived benefits, the pressures to do it along with teaching critical thinking and decision making skills) Ultimately, they will make the decision whether they will engage in the behaviors. Equip them to make good decisions. Interestingly, research shows that teens actually want guidance about sex and internet behavior, especially from parents and also teachers- we’re often the ones shying away from these topics leaving them to fend for themselves.

Emphasize that in the video, it seems like the boy receiving the picture did not intend for the image to circulate around school. His phone was taken out of his hand by his friend. There is no way to be sure who will see your pictures – even if you send them privately to a person you trust.

That if this is happen to you or has happened to you it is not your fault, and there is help and steps you can take to deal with this horrible situation

There are many consequences to sexting, some of which you saw in the video:

Humiliation at home, at school and online if the image spreads.
Bullying by peers, sometimes so extreme teens don’t want to go to school.
Blackmail by someone threatening to distribute earlier sexting images if they don’t send more.
Suspension or expulsion from school or losing a spot on a school sports team.
Police involvement, which does not usually result in the teen being charged with a serious crime but may result in mandated education programs or community service.

36 of 57

Slide:

Addressing Sexting

Start these conversations early
Give real-life examples
Discuss healthy sexual relationships
Talk about ways an image can spread online
Talk about resharing
Report to CyberTipline.org

------------------

Key Points:

Start these conversations early - If we are teaching kids about their bodies, empathy, consent, and boundaries when they are young before it has anything to do with sex
Give real-life examples
Discuss healthy sexual relationships
Talk about ways an image can spread online
Talk about resharing - rehearing can cause significant harm to that person.
Report

------------------

Facilitator Notes:

Here are some things you can do to address sexting with your child

Start these conversations early: These conversations should be happening before children are teenagers. If we are teaching kids about their bodies, empathy, consent, and boundaries when they are young before it has anything to do with sex, we should teach them the same related to digital interactions well before it has anything to do with sexting. It's easier to start when they are young- the rules are more clear-cut, and the conversation is less awkward. They are engaging in this behavior earlier than we think and again, we have seen reports of elementary-aged children generating explicit content.

Give real-life examples: What would happen if you sent a nude picture to your boyfriend "Jonny" and remember when he was talking bad about your friend "Jennifer"? and she did not want to go to school?

What if he gets mad at you and shares the pic with the whole school?
How do you think that would affect you?

After they answer, you can share some other ways that this could affect them

Losing friendships
They can get in trouble at school or with the police
They also may not realize the image can stay online for a long time if it spreads

Discuss healthy sexual relationships: Be open and honest; they should be able to talk to you about sexual things. Make sure they know what's healthy and what's not. Emphasize that anyone who pressures them to send a sexual picture is not someone they can trust, which is not healthy relationship behavior. And that they should not pressure anyone.

Talk about ways an image can spread online: Even if your child thinks their boyfriend or girlfriend would never forward their picture, there are other ways a photo could spread, such as if a phone is lost, borrowed or stolen.

Talk about resharing: Talk to your child about resharing other peoples' images without their consent. Tell them never to forward a sexting image - This could mean big trouble at school and with the police. Even though sometimes we do not think about it, rehearing can cause significant harm to that person. It's a major violation of trust and exposes the person in the picture to potential ridicule.

Report: Help your child identify adults in their lives that they can reach out for help and when you are having these conversations make sure to emphasize that if that ever happened to them they need to report it in the social media and the CyberTipline. If this ever happens to your child report it to your child's school or the police if you know a child is being blackmailed, a photo is being passed around without consent or a child is being bullied. Ignoring the situation will not help the child in the photo. You can also make a report with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children's CyberTipline at CyberTipline.org.

Suggested Resources: NetSmartz has tip sheets for teens and parents about sexting at MissingKids.org/NetSmartz/resources#tipsheets.

37 of 57

Slide:

Sextortion

Sextortion is a form of child sexual exploitation where children are threatened or blackmailed, most often with the possibility of sharing with the public nude or sexual images of them, by a person who demands additional sexual content, sexual activity, or money from the child. This crime may happen when a child has shared an image with someone.

-------------------

Key Points:

Online enticement can lead from grooming to sexting to sextortion
Sextortion is a form of child sexual exploitation
Sextortion can take many forms
New trend

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

Online enticement can lead from grooming to sexting to sextortion.

Sextortion is a form of child sexual exploitation where children are threatened or blackmailed, most often with the possibility of sharing with the public a nude or sexual images of them, by a person who demands additional sexual content, sexual activity or money from the child. This crime may happen when a child has shared an image with someone, they thought they knew or trusted, but in many cases they are targeted by an individual they met online who obtained a sexual image from the child through deceit, coercion, or some other method. Blackmailers may have stolen or taken images of another person and communicate through a fake account. The blackmailer may have sent images as well.

Sextortion can take many forms. Commonly the offender will contact the child and develop a relationship with the child and then ask for explicit images or videos after that the sextortion begins. The grooming process varies in time sometimes it takes longer time and, in some case, can be as quick as minutes or hours.

In recent trends, we have seen the blackmailing went from "send more pics or else I will share", to "send money or else I will share." This new sextortion trend mainly targets male children. In these new cases, as we mentioned before in the presentation, grooming varies. In some cases, the grooming takes longer. In other cases, minutes or hours. Sometimes grooming does not happen and the offender contacts the male child to blackmail him for money, commonly in the form of gift cards.

38 of 57

39 of 57

Slide and Facilitator Notes:

What can you do

Do not comply with the demands: Doing so does not guarantee that the offender will stop. The offender may ask you for more.
Report it to the app
Do not delete account: By deleting your child's account, you may be deleting important evidence that will help keep your child and other children safe
Is Your Explicit Content Out There (Missingkids.org/gethelpnow/isyourexplicitcontentoutthere): Has information about how NCMEC can help and instructions for contacting the companies
Report it to CyberTipline: Even if you already report it on the app, it is important to make a report to the CyberTipline. We can help with the process, and we work closely to assist law enforcement with these reports.
Take It Down: Is another service from NCMEC to help with removing content online. You can access this service under the missingkids.org/gethelpnow/isyourexplicitcontentoutthere
Get help at missingkids.org/gethelpnow: We have many resources and services to help you navigate this complex issue and to help you and your child heal from this.
Go to https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/ to get help removing sexually explicit content online

NOTE: Take it down gives children tools to take steps to stop the spread of the content. Let's remember that some kids may not feel ready or safe to ask for help and they should have tools to take some control and stop the spread of the content. For those who are reaching for help, Take it Down can also be a great tool to gain control over the situation.

40 of 57

41 of 57

Slide and Facilitator Notes:

Some examples of cyberbullying include:

Sending someone mean texts.
Photoshopping or altering a picture to embarrass someone.
Creating a fake profile to post defamatory information or images.
Posting fight videos online to embarrass the person who lost.
Spreading rumors and gossip online.
Posting or resharing pictures intended to embarrass o humiliate someone.
Sending threatening or harassing comments.
Harassing someone and forcing them to do something humiliating or harmful to themselves or others.

Even young children who don’t use social media or cell phones can experience some form of cyberbullying while playing online games or playing in a virtual world.

For example, they may be:

Exposed to inappropriate language while chatting.
Taunted by other players.
Targeted by more experienced players.
Ignored by other players or excluded from playing.

42 of 57

43 of 57

Slide:

Cyberbullying can have some negative effects on children including:

Depression
Anxiety
Loneliness
Suicidal ideation
Low self-esteem
Social isolation
Substance use
Sadness
Change on sleeping patterns,
Loss of interest in activities they enjoy doing
Health issues
Decreased academic achievement

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

(Please emphasize)

You may have heard a lot about cyberbullying in the news because of highly-publicized instances of teens dying by suicide. It’s important to remember that although cyberbullying can be extremely devastating for some victims, suicide as a result of cyberbullying is extremely rare and there are usually other factors at play. Bullying alone is not the cause. Many issues contribute to suicide risk, including depression, problems at home, and trauma history. This risk can be increased further when parents, peers, and schools do not support these kids. Bullying can make an unsupportive situation worse. (https://www.stopbullying.gov/bullying/effects)

Researchers have looked at cases of cyberbullying-related suicide and found that:

Most teens who committed suicide were bullied both at school and online.
Many of the teens had some type of mental illness, such as depression.

Even though it is rare for victims of cyberbullying to commit suicide, cyberbullying can still have very serious effects on the targeted children, including depression, anxiety, academic problems, and more.

44 of 57

45 of 57

46 of 57

Slide and Facilitator Notes:

As you can see, cyberbullying can have a tremendous impact on children. That’s why it’s so important for you to understand the issue. To combat cyberbullying, you need to know who is involved. Here are the major players:

Cyberbully - can be someone who instigates the bullying or someone who joins in.
Victim - the one being bullied, usually both online and offline.
Bystanders - those who stand by and watch the cyberbullying happen but do nothing.
Upstander-An upstander is someone who sees what happens and intervenes, interrupts, or speaks up to stop the bullying.

Your child may fall in at least one of these categories, sometimes more than one because many children who are cyberbullied also cyberbully others. They have also probably been bystanders at one point or another. Let’s talk about how to address children in each of these categories.

47 of 57

Slide and Facilitator Notes:

Here are some specific ways you can help if your child is a victim of cyberbullying:

Support your child- Stay calm but don't downplay the incident(s). Thank your child for coming to you about the cyberbullying. Review what happened together and see if there are steps the child can take to address the issue.
Consider saving the evidence – Ask the school or the police about taking screenshots and printing out any messages. If there is an investigation, they may want to see proof of what was posted.
Block cyberbullies – Tell your child not to respond to the messages and take advantage of website features that allow you to block any user who is bothering you.
Set up new accounts - This includes email, IM, social media sites and cell phone numbers. Make sure they only give the new information to friends they trust.
Talk to the school - Remember, most cyberbullying involves in-person bullying by someone your child knows, usually a classmate. Teachers and administrators should work together on a plan to address the bullying in school, and they may have specific rules against cyberbullying, too.
Report it to the website or app where the cyberbullying is taking place - You might also be able to report unwanted text messages to your cell phone provider and block certain numbers. If you feel that any laws have been broken or if your child has been threatened, then contact the police for help. You can also make a report to the CyberTipline.

Finally, remember to take your child seriously. Don’t use phrases like, “Kids will be kids.” Bullying can be very painful. Comfort your child by offering your support and understanding.

48 of 57

Slide:

Cyberbullying Behaviors

Quickly switches screens or closes program
Uses the computer at all hours
Gets unusually upset if they cannot use the computer
Avoids discussions about what they are doing
Uses multiple online accounts

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

Sometimes parents don’t find out that their children are cyberbullying others until they hear about it from another parent or from the school. Be proactive and look for these signs.

Your children may be involved with cyberbullying if they:

Quickly switch screens or close programs when you walk by.
Use the computer at all hours of the night.
Get unusually upset if they cannot use the computer.
Laugh excessively while online.
Avoid discussions about what they are doing.
Use multiple online accounts or use an account that is not their own.
Makes harmful or belittling jokes about others
Lack of empathy
Has a problem with authority figures
Has a hard time with conflict resolution
Experiencing difficult times at home

If you notice any of these behaviors, get involved and ask them to show you what they’re doing.

49 of 57

Slide:

How to prevent it

Monitor and intervene in your child’s online behavior in the same way you would “offline” behavior.

Establish expectations for online and offline behavior
Set consequences for cyberbullying
Model good online and offline behavior

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

To help prevent your child from becoming a cyberbully, you can:

Establish expectations for online behavior - Make sure your child knows that you think bullying and cyberbullying are unacceptable.
Set consequences for cyberbullying - This will vary by family but can include losing Internet privileges or more supervised Internet use.
Model good online behavior yourself - Children learn from the adults around them, so always be respectful of others online.

You don’t have to tell your children that they have to be friends with everyone, but you should teach them about respecting others. If you find out that your child has already been involved in cyberbullying, be open to working with the school as they look to correct the problem.

50 of 57

Slide:

Talk to your child about being an upstander

Establish expectations for reporting
Encourage them to stand up for the victim
Help them report the cyberbullying to an adult or teacher
Talk to your child about not forwarding mean or inappropriate content about another person

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

Most kids are not bullies or victims; they are bystanders. A bystander is someone who sees bullying happening and may or may not do anything about it. They may be reluctant to speak up about cyberbullying because they’re afraid of being targeted next or being called a tattletale. However, information from bystanders is critical if teachers and other trusted adults are to take action.

Talk to your child about being an upstander. You can do this by:

Establishing expectations for reporting - Make sure they understand that you expect them to speak up when they see cyberbullying happen because silence only lets it continue.
Encouraging them to stand up for the victim when they feel it’s safe to do so - That might mean being a good friend to the victim, telling the bully to stop or refusing to join in the cyberbullying. They can also show support to the victim in private.
Helping them report the cyberbullying to the website where it is taking place or to a trusted adult at school – children will feel better about reporting if they are reassured that they’re doing the right thing, so help them see it through.
Talking to their friends about not tolerating or engaging in the cyberbullying
Talk to your child about not forwarding mean or inappropriate content about another person. Talk to your child about not forwarding mean or inappropriate content about another person. Tell your child that if they receive a mean or inappropriate picture/video of another person, it is not ok to reshare it. By doing so, they cause harm to that kid.

51 of 57

Slide:

Tech Options

Install filtering and monitoring software
Consult your cell phone provider
Research options for other mobile devices
Look at individual apps
Explore built-in security features

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

You’ve now heard several strategies to help you deal with inappropriate content, online privacy, sexting, online sexual solicitation and cyberbullying. Most of those suggestions have been based on communicating with your children, but I also want to talk about technological solutions.

Here are some options you may want to look into:

Filtering and monitoring software - These can help protect your children from seeing sexually explicit content online and even notify you if they’re receiving inappropriate messages. NCMEC does not endorse any particular kind of software, but you can search for the software that best fits your needs.
Consult your cell phone service provider - They may offer monitoring options for your child’s cell phone.
Research options for mobile devices – Laptops, tablets, handheld games, cellphones, watches may have built-in monitoring options or software for purchase.
Look at the individual apps they’re using - Many apps have the option to turn off chat features or limit who can see what your child posts within the app.
Explore built-in security features for programs and websites - These often have their own privacy or filtering services. For example, Google has a free SafeSearch option, parental controls, and other security tools.
Each website or app has different privacy and filtering settings, so you should consult each one to help you better understand their systems. If you have specific questions, you can write to NetSmartz at MissingKids.org/contactus.

52 of 57

Slide:

Remember what you can do

Connect
Learn
Engage

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

CONNECT

Set some ground rules. Establish clear guidelines like what types of sites kids can visit, apps they can download, and when they can access electronics. Establish free electronic times and areas-example, Dinner time/ Dinner table, bedtime/bedrooms, during family activities, etc.
Research before you buy. It’s important to learn about a device’s capabilities before you buy. Will it allow unknown people to communicate with my child? Will this allow children to make unchecked purchases?
Go beyond safeguards. Installing monitoring software doesn’t guarantee your child will be safe online. Time, attention, and active conversation are the best tools to protect them. Be transparent about monitoring their phones and private chats. Ask for their input on how you can do it, so they feel more comfortable. For example- your child may feel more comfortable if they are present while you monitor their phones. Remind them that it is not to be mean or controlling but to protect them.
REPORT! If your kids are dealing with cyberbullies or potential online enticement, report it to the website, cell phone provider, law enforcement, or www.CyberTipline.org.

LEARN

Know the platforms. Online enticement happens across all platforms, so be aware of the sites, games, and apps your children frequent. Ask them to show you how they use the apps and games they are use.
Be proactive. Teach your kids to spot common tricks used by online offenders. In NCMEC CyberTipline reports, the most common tactics used to entice a child online were:

Engaging the child in sexual conversation/ roleplay as a grooming method.
Directly asking the child for sexually explicit images of themselves or offering to exchange images mutually.
Developing a rapport with the child through compliments and other supportive behaviors such as “liking” their online posts.
Sending unprompted sexually explicit images of themselves.
Pretending to be younger.
Offering incentives for explicit content.
Offering a dream job
Pretending to be a n attractive girl or boy their age and quickly asking for explicit images

Spot the Red Flags. A child who is experiencing online enticement may be:

• Spending increasing time online.

• Getting upset when he or she is not allowed on their device.

• Taking extra steps to conceal what they are doing online.

• Receiving gifts from people you don’t know.

It is important to understand that grooming and enticement can happen in different ways and lengths of time. In some cases, grooming and enticement happened within hours; in others, it took months.

ENGAGE

Talk about it! Your kids might not tell you everything but ask anyway. Regular conversations about safety can go a long way in increasing trust and communication. Remember that you want to be the source of reliable information for your children. If it is not you, your child will find the information on the internet and or with friends.
Get involved. Challenge them to a duel. If you have kids who like to play online games, ask if you can play, too. When you respect their interests, they’re more likely to respect your rules.
Don’t pull the plug. Taking away internet access because they may have made mistakes online doesn’t solve the problem. Talk to them about protecting themselves and respecting others online.

53 of 57

54 of 57

Slide:

NCMEC’s Family Advocacy Division

Crisis Intervention
Peer support network
Mental health & community support referrals
Reunification assistance
Long-term emotional support
Prevention strategies
Legal referrals

All services are free. Families do not have to have an active case to be eligible.

-------------------

Facilitator Notes:

NCMEC offers many supportive services for child victims and their families. These are some of the ways we can assist families, I want to highlight two important ones:

Peer support is available for both families and survivors who want to connect with someone else who has been through a similar situation
For families that need help with legal issues related to the exploitation, like restitution or name changes, NCMEC can connect them to a private attorney who can help

NCMEC’s Family Advocacy Division is made up of a specialized team of child and family advocates. The Family Advocacy Division provides emotional support to families experiencing trauma when a child is missing or sexually exploited and offers expert guidance about how families can move forward. With support from a committed network, including mental health providers, crisis intervention services, social service agencies, and law enforcement, the foundation is laid for the bright future every family wants and deserves.

55 of 57

56 of 57

Endnotes

Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). (2019, December 5). Cyberbullying tactics. StopBullying.gov. Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/cyberbullying-tactics

Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). (2021, May 21). Effects of bullying. StopBullying.gov. Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.stopbullying.gov/bullying/effects/

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021, September 28). Violence prevention home page. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/index.html

Elam, Stephanie, and Julie Brayton. NBC 4 KNBC, Study: Sexting Teens More Likely to Engage in Risky Sex. Last modified September 18, 2012. Accessed December 14, 2012, from http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local/Sexting-Study-170117576.html

Hinduja, Sameer, and Justin Patchin. Cyberbullying Research Center, Cyberbullying research summary: Bullying, cyberbullying, and sexual orientation. Last modified 2011. Accessed January 29, 2013. http://www.cyberbullying.us/cyberbullying_sexual_orientation_fact_sheet.pdf

Hinduja, Sameer, and Justin Patchin. Cyberbullying Research Center, Cyberbullying warning signs: Red flags that your child is involved in cyberbullying. Last modified 2009. Accessed December 17, 2012. http://www.cyberbullying.us/cyberbullying_warning_signs.pdf

Mitchell, Kimberly, Lisa Jones, David Finkelhor, and Janis Wolak. Trends in Unwanted Sexual Solicitations: Findings from the Youth Internet Safety Studies. Crimes Against Children Research Center, 2014.

Mori, C., Park, J., Temple, J.R., Madigan, S. Are Youth Sexting Rates Still on the Rise? A Meta-analytic Update. Journal of Adolescent Health 70 (4). April 2022.

November 2021 self-generated child sexual abuse material: Youth ... (n.d.). Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://info.thorn.org/hubfs/Research/SGCSAM_Attitudes&Experiences_YouthMonitoring_FullReport_2021.pdf

Patchin, J. W. (n.d.). 2021 cyberbullying data. Cyberbullying Research Center. Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://cyberbullying.org/2021-cyberbullying-data

Personal safety: What is bullying? amaze / USA. (2022, August 12). Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://amaze.org/video/what-is-bullying/

we wanna live in a world where u can go to their parents for anythi... TikTok. (n.d.). Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.tiktok.com/@thisisnofiltr/video/6989356471569976582?lang=en

1 of 57

2 of 57

3 of 57

4 of 57

5 of 57

6 of 57

7 of 57

8 of 57

9 of 57

10 of 57

11 of 57

12 of 57

13 of 57

14 of 57

15 of 57

16 of 57

17 of 57

18 of 57

19 of 57

20 of 57

21 of 57

22 of 57

23 of 57

24 of 57

25 of 57

26 of 57

27 of 57

28 of 57

29 of 57

30 of 57

31 of 57

32 of 57

33 of 57

34 of 57

35 of 57

36 of 57

37 of 57

38 of 57

39 of 57

40 of 57

41 of 57

42 of 57

43 of 57

44 of 57

45 of 57

46 of 57

47 of 57

48 of 57

49 of 57

50 of 57

51 of 57

52 of 57

53 of 57

54 of 57

55 of 57

56 of 57

57 of 57