Unity in Marriage

MER 2 Session 2

Do your own thing

The trend in the world today is not unity but individualism

Missionary Families of Christ

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Jesus calls us to unity

Our relationship are to reflect the unity in the trinity

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“So that they may all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I in you, that they also may be in us, that the world may believe that you sent me. “

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John 17:21

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The call to unity is especially for married people

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• Two individuals become one flesh

• Even for reproduction, man and women must unite to produce new life

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• The biblical teaching

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- God created man (Gen 2:7)

- God was satisfied (Gen 2:18)

- God created woman from man’s rib (Gen 2:21-22)

-Adam recognizes this same life and substance (Gen 2:23)

-Husband and wife become a new social entity, a unity that works as one (Gen 2:24)

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The original unity and harmony did not last

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• When men and women disrupted their relationship with God, they also disrupted the harmony between themselves.
• Fallen humanity never fully recovered the ideal of married unity that God offered the first man and woman.
• Thus even among God's chosen people, divorce—the mark of a final breaking of unity—was a common occurrence

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Jesus Teaching

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Jesus affirms God's plan for unity

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There can be no compromise (Mt 19:9)

God wants unity

The book of Genesis tells us of God’s original intention.

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Jesus affirms this in the gospels.

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Paul’s teaching. Ephesians 5:32. This unity in marriage refers to Christ and the church. The fidelity of husband and wife is a sign of God's unbroken covenant love for His people. Marriage reflects God’s love and life.

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Supports to unity

• A personal relationship with the Lord.

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• Effect of Jesus' lordship:
• When we take him as teacher, then we learn the same approach to life as he has.
• Jesus is the one to give us the gift of the Holy Spirit. This is power to change lives.

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• There is a need for daily personal prayer

- praying together

• studying Scripture
• opening our lives to the action of the Holy Spirit.

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A relationship to each other as Christian brother and sister

• Marriage is between two of the Lord's disciples.

• Remarkably few marriage problems really involve marriage itself. But rather it is failure in acting as Christian brother and sister.

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• If we learn to live as brethren, then we can live well as husband and wife.

Before even being husband and wife, we are brother and sister in the Lord.

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We need to go to Scripture for wisdom.

• Most basic commandment -- John 15:12.
• Love is unilateral. It does not depend on the other’s response or the lack of it. Our love does not depend on emotional support or rewards received, but simply on our decision to obey Jesus’ command.
• Love is based on commitment, not feeling. Our love endures through good times or bad, for better or for worse.
• God can put His own love into our hearts as we obey His command

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Committed love means being ready to serve one another

Love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor.

Romans 12:10

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Principle of Christian governmental authority.

• In the world, there are two extremes: authority as a means of oppression; and doing away with all authority

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• Our model is the life in the Trinity.

• Jesus wants the life of his people to mirror this relationship in the Godhead.

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Headship and submission

This refers to governmental roles in the family, with husband as the head of the family and the wife as a support to him.

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Spiritual Basis

• 1 Corinthians 11:3. Directly linked to the Father's authority in the Godhead.

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• Ephesians 5:22-23. Directly linked to Christ's authority in the Church.

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Some important aspects

No judgment is made on the value of husband or wife. There is equality of worth, yet distinction of roles.

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Headship enables husband and wife to move forward as one. Not his or her own way, but the Lord’s way.

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How headship functions at a given point in a couple’s marriage varies according to each spouse’s maturity. There is a need for flexibility.

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Headship involves real authority. Submission involves real obedience, and not just being favorably disposed to the husband's requests.

There is no need to obey an order to sin.

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If not sin, the wife should obey even if she disagrees.

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Headship is not to be applied legalistically. It is basically a function of a love relationship. And it is only one aspect of a much larger relationship.

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Headship is a gift of God to His people. It is an important source of unity and peace

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God calls us as husband and wife to be perfectly one.

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God gives us the means to grow into that unity.

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We must learn to make these means a practical part of our married life.

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Unity in Marriage

MER 2 Session 2