Delaying Tactics

Adapted from the “Reducing the Risks” Curriculum

Prepared by Ebony Murphy

Standards and Objectives

4.E.1.- Investigate factors that influence an individual’s decision concerning sexual behavior

Students will:

• Develop ways to maintain abstinence in a relationship
• Model skills to resist peer pressure to have sexual intercourse, and
• Practice and examine the five (5) characteristics of effective delaying tactics

In the previous lesson,

We examined:

• Five effective refusals:
• Say “No”!
• Repeat the refusal
• Suggest an alternative
• Use body language that says “No”!
• Build the relationship (when appropriate

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Delaying Tactics

Delaying tactics are another way to handle difficult situations and avoid unwanted and unprotected sex. For many reasons, it’s usually better to simply say no to offers you don’t like. But people often feel confused about how to say no. Others may not have the courage to say no to their friends.

Without time to think of what to do, they can impulsively make a poor decision. In such cases people might use a delaying tactic to gain time to think about what they really want. Remember, sooner or later you have to give a clear “no” message.

Delaying Tactics

• Make a delay statement
• Take a delay action
• Create space
• End the situation quickly
• Build the relationship (if appropriate)

Make a delay statement

Actions

• Stall for time

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• Make an excuse

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• Question what is going on
• Change the subject

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Examples

• “I’ll have to think about this
• “I’m really not feeling well.”
• “What are you doing?”
• “Did you see ‘The Simpsons’ last night?”

Make a delay statement

Action

• Excuse yourself from the situation
• Pretend request isn’t serious

Behavior

• “Sorry, I have to go.”

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• “You’re kidding, right?”

Take a delay action

Action

• Change what you are doing

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• Act distracted

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• Drop something

Behavior

• Stop kissing. Get up and get something to eat.
• Look around. Pretend you’ve lost something
• Drop your keys

Take a delay action

Actions

• Become physically unable to respond

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• Leave the situation

Behavior

• Start coughing and ask for water. Get a sudden pain
• Go to the restroom. Go get some fresh air

Create space

Actions

• Use body language

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• Move away

Behavior

• Serious expression. Look directly at the person. Arms in front of body. Gestures that emphasize your point
• Take a step back. Turn away.

End the situation quickly

Actions

• Leave the scene

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• Fight back as last resort

Behavior

• “Got to go, I’m late!” “I just remembered something.”

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• Push person away

Build the relationship �(if appropriate)

Actions

• Strong, honest communication

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• Use I-statements

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Behaviors

• “I want you to stop that”

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• “I feel nervous when you push me to do things I’m not ready for.”

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Build the relationship�(if appropriate)

Action

• Talk and act in a way that says you want to keep the relationship going
• Accept and acknowledge other’s needs and wants

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Behavior

• “I don’t want to have sex with you but I do want to keep seeing you and being close.”
• “I want to be with you too.”

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For your work time, individually complete “Possible Delaying Tactics” and “Presents and Flowers”. You have 15 minutes to complete these.��Then, get into your group of 4, and have EACH student act out his/her script. Please complete the Observer Checklist for your group.��There will be a short quiz at the end of this lesson…

Work time and Student Role Plays

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