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Good Samaritan Advocates (GSA)� & Conflict Coaching��February 17, 2024

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Douglas Duberstein

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AGENDA

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  • GSA & Conflict Coaching�
  • Advising Clients on Conflict Styles

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CONFLICT COACHING

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Doug’s Typical GSA Client Meeting

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  • Gather and confirm the facts.�
  • Extend acceptance/understanding, if the client is emotional. �
  • Research/Advise on the Law and on strategic next steps to resolve the legal issue.

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  • Pray with the client over their situation.�
  • But can we do more to support our clients personally?

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Emergence of Conflict Coaching

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  • Conflict Coaching developed from the field of Executive Coaching and now is a recognized discipline in its own right.�
  • 1990s: Temple University’s Conflict Education Resource Team did “conflict coaching” with students who could not get the counterparty to come to mediation.�
  • Several different models of Conflict Coaching now exist.

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What is Conflict Coaching?

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  • It assists clients by listening, observing, interviewing, and providing feedback. �
  • It has the client set the agenda; we support the client by helping him find his voice and values.
    • Resist the temptation to try and “fix” him.
    • If we can fix him, he will get “unfixed.”�
  • It may also offer training on conflict styles (discussed below).

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����Deep Listening: the Heart of Coaching�����

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  • We tend to think we are good listeners even though, often, we aren’t!
  • The Three Levels of Effective Listening:
    • Level I: Listening to Yourself.
    • Level II: Listening to the Client.
    • Level III: “Global Listening.”
      • Present, attending to all available information (like a satellite dish).
      • Being vs. Doing.
      • Consider your intuition (voice of the Spirit? prompts from Scripture?)
  • See generally, A. Kohan, Coaching Your Client: A Lawyer’s Guide for Improving Communication and Client Outcomes (ABA).

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����Deep Listening: the Heart of Coaching�����

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  • John Paul Lederach argues that listening can be a spiritual discipline:��“I have referred to this as ‘prophetic listening”… Prophetic listening, as I see it, is the discipline of listening with others in a way that it helps them get in touch with what God is telling them.. . [P]rophetic listening is like going on a journey alongside a person to whom we are listening. This kind of listening does what few other things can do. It helps us feel the presence and direction of God’s truth.” �
  • See generally, Lederach, Reconcile: Conflict Transformation for Ordinary Christians (2014).

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Highly �Recommended �Resource�on Listening:

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Coaching GSA clients

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  • Go beyond merely extending acceptance when clients are struggling.
  • Follow – don’t avoid -- the client’s emotions:
    • “That must be difficult. Please tell me more. . .”
    • As they share, the clients are often telling themselves more!
    • Help the clients define for themselves how they really want to be in this situation -- and offer appropriate Christian support.�
  • Note: If coaching is needed beyond the GSA client meeting, consider referral to a “low bono” coaching provider (such as Conflict to Peace in Fairfax, Virginia). ����

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Coaching GSA clients

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  • Go beyond merely extending acceptance when clients are struggling.
  • Follow – don’t avoid -- the client’s emotions:
    • “That must be difficult. Please tell me more. . .”
    • As they share, the clients are often telling themselves more!
    • Help the clients define for themselves how they really want to be in this situation -- and offer appropriate Christian support.�
  • Note: If coaching is needed beyond the GSA client meeting, consider referral to a “low bono” coaching provider (such as Conflict to Peace in Fairfax, Virginia). ����

Available at : https://coachingfederation.org/blog/referring-a-client-to-therapy

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CONFLICT STYLES

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� Thomson Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument:����������

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About TK Conflict Styles

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About TK Conflict Styles

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About TK Conflict Styles

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���� Thomson Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument:���

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  • At TKI website (below), client may:
    • obtain an online assessment of his/her conflict style.
    • obtain a report that includes his assessment, an explanation of all the Conflict Styles, and guidance on when different styles may be appropriate to use. �
  • Note: Temple University successfully used this method with its students; perhaps some of our clients would find it helpful also. �
  • Source: https://kilmanndiagnostics.com/assessments/thomas-kilmann-instrument-one-assessment-person/����

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���Q&As?���Thank you!��

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