How to be an Upstander!

What is a Bystander?

A bystander is someone who sees or knows about mistreatment that is happening to someone else.

What is an Upstander?

An upstander is a supportive bystander. An upstander will use words and/or actions that can help someone who is being mistreated.

What is Mistreatment?

Mistreatment is when someone is harmed or hurt by a person or people…

• Physically
• With words, e.g., name calling, teasing
• By being excluded, e.g., not letting someone play or do something

Bullying is the word that we use if these things happen many times.

5 Actions to being an Upstander

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• Awhi/support the person who is being mistreated - even if you just stand beside them and let them know you’ve got their back.
• Encourage them to ask a kaiako/teacher for help or go with them to get help.
• Let them know they’re not alone!

Awhi/Support

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• Interrupt the behaviour in some way: For example, ask the person experiencing mistreatment if they want to play a game.
• Help them to leave the situation they’re in.
• Anything non-threatening will work.

Distract

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• If you feel safe to, let the person/people who are being unkind know that what they’re doing is not okay.
• Use your words to show aroha and kindness to those involved.
• Don’t stand by and watch.
• It can be hard to speak up in the moment, but it can make a huge difference.

Call It!

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If you don’t feel safe to step in while the mistreatment is happening:

• Move away from the situation.
• Have a wee think before actually doing something.
• Later, let the person experiencing the mistreatment know that you saw and ask what might help.
• You might have a quiet word with the person doing the unkind behaviour.

Leave and Act

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• There are people who care and want to help!
• Support the person to get some help from others – whānau, kaiako, or a trusted adult.

Get Some Awhi/Support