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IT’S A F***ING SCAM

Why Cryptocurrencies, NFTs, and the Metaverse are Hot Trash

(Or: I’ve Spent the Past Two Months Thinking About This Shit So You Don’t Have To and Will Now Explain It in Layman’s Terms So You Can Spread the Gospel)

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SOME TECHNICAL DETAILS

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WHAT THE HECK IS A BLOCKCHAIN?

Image: https://twitter.com/_TechJess/status/1477391653182722048

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PEER-TO-PEER NETWORKS

Blockchains are a form of peer-to-peer (P2P) networks – that is, networks that do not go through a central host server

Torrent networks are a common P2P network

P2P networks are decentralized

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HOW IS BLOCKCHAIN DIFFERENT?

More stuff!

Cryptographic hashing, consensus algorithms, etc. to make the blockchain secure

This is the part where I concede that blockchain technology is not inherently bad and probably does have useful applications

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WHY DOES BLOCKCHAIN USE SO MUCH GOTDAMN ENERGY?

Consensus algorithms – how the network agrees on what the truth is

Proof of work
Proof of stake

Image: https://img.ifunny.co/images/3a32642d1c98c9c613a1208df87ac8bccbc81f3ce10e5208ebc54c7f07d5b272_1.webp

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END TECHNICAL DETAILS

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CRYPTOCURRENCY

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WHAT IS A CURRENCY?

Traditional currencies are backed by national banks or other institutions
Value is meant to remain stable or change predictably over time

Modulated by aforementioned institutions

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WHAT IS A CURRENCY?

USD Value since 2000

Bitcoin Value since 2014

Charts:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/1032048/value-us-dollar-since-1640/

https://www.coindesk.com/price/bitcoin/

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CURRENCY? MORE LIKE SPECULATIVE COMMODITY AT BEST

Cryptocurrencies operate more like commodities
A three-layer cake of social constructs

Layer 1: money (traditional currency) is fake to begin with
Layer 2: a stock’s value is tied to the “value of the company”, which is also fake (see: every tech IPO of the last 10 years)
Layer 3: a cryptocurrency’s value is completely unmoored from anything real; it is purely driven by what tech bros are willing to pay for it

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WHERE IS THIS POWERPOINT?

It is on my computer
It is also backed up to OneDrive, and that server is god knows where
It will soon be in Google Drive for all you lovely people

Is the “original” on my computer more valuable?

https://twitter.com/DeerChopsArt/status/1473541405641359366

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A copy of anything digital is indistinguishable from the original

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A CRITICAL FAILING

It’s in the name – non-fungible token

You own the token, not the thing

An NFT is the same as a title or deed

Titles and deeds have value because there is exactly one instance of the thing it says you own

https://twitter.com/IT_Spook/status/1473047427133415429

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FREAKING CAPITALISM

NFTs are an attempt to inject artificial scarcity into a fundamentally infinite* space

*Obviously we are bounded by how much material there is to make computers but that’s not important

https://twitter.com/demyxtweets/status/1473065517988683777

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THE METAVERSE

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IT’S ALREADY HERE, FOLKS!

Club Penguin
Minecraft
World of Warcraft
Roblox
Animal Crossing
Any digital space where you interact with people

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WHY ALL THE HYPE?

Augmented and virtual reality are starting to become viable

Real person MMORPG
We can all have our own Jedi council meetings

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IT’S FREE VERY EXPENSIVE �REAL ESTATE

Advertising!!
Data mining!!
Digital real estate!!
Again trying to create artificial scarcity

There’s literally nothing stopping you from making a server with your friends to hang out – children have been doing it for years

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